Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Did you hear about the woman you got hit by a car? The Driver was intoxicated and had no control over his faculties which cause him to careen off of the road and hit this poor soul as she patiently waited at a crosswalk.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Were you born on a freeway? because thats were all accidents happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

thumb_up thumb_down

What type of party do you throw when your fat? A baby shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

R.I.P Ryan Dunn.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What was the baker a coward? He didn't have the "Bunz" to prove it!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did the deaf kid get for christmas ? An ipod.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken successfully cross the road? It didn't in the middle of the street it got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you confuse a Mexican? Stand in the middle of a crosswalk while shouting "Cthulu will rise!" whilst looking at the sky and playing "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. Works every time.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

sky's the limit said the tree a.w. j.p.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

An Italian, a black man, and a small child walk into a bar. Shortly after it blew up due to a gas leak. 67 people perished.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what is worse the Holocaust or slavery? patantan!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between a dead dog lying in the middle of the street and a dead black man lying in the middle of the street? The physical differences you would commonly expect to be between a human being and a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not intelligent enough to realize the hazardous dangers of crossing the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the girl say to the other girl? Nothing. She got hit in the head with a pineapple

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Reverse psychology never fails.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

your brother so fine that hes skinney

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist bastard

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops