What did the one man say to the other? Nothing, they didn't know eachother

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What did the house do when it came alive? It went home

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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whats fat and ugly ? aidan slattery

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A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

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Why do black people eat watermelon? Because it is a largely water-based, delicious fruit that provides refreshment in such a hot country and conveniently flourishes in the said climate.

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Where would you find a dog with one leg? Possibly in a vet's surgery, or in an animal rescue home or being cared for by a loving owner.

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Three men walk into a bar because they were all blind.

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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A blonde rubs a lamp hoping to find a genie that will grant her 3 wishes. It didn't happen.

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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what is a jews favorite holiday? the halocaust.

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The only silverware Frank Lampard will be lifting this year is his mums urn.

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pickle juice?

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How does a boy with no arms or legs cross the street? He doesn't

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Can midgets still have big dreams?

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Fortunately," said the snooty maître d', "we'll let you come in without a Thai.

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A little boy was taken away in a black van with the promises of candy and a puppy of his very own. What he received? That fore mentioned, and more. The more? Ass rape

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How do you call the smallest mouse on Earth? James.

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Why do immigrants move to the UK? To seek a better life

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Who lives on 2324 Elm St. River Grove Illinois? And Goes to East Leyden High School? The answer is Ricky Krajewski. He is 16 years old has brown hair and brown eyes. 5'11" 190lbs and 6.5 inch penis(when erect). social security # is 679-78-6283.

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What is brown and sticky? A chocolate ice cream made with too much margarine and not enough of the ice mixture used to make Mr Whippy

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how do you teach a baby to walk? cut of its hands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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