What did the train say at the party Thomas isn't really dumb ass

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What did one stool say to the other stool? Stools don't speak!

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So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

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A blond, brunette, and red head jump off a building. Who hit the ground last? The red head because she was last to jump.

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van.

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Knock knock. Who's there? To. To who? To whom.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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Q: What do janitors and nuns have in common? A: They can't fly.

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Bill and John are talking about types of cheese. The conversation drags on a bit and slowly changes topic. Bill says "I bet you I can bungy jump off a bridge". John chuckles before replying "I bet you can't". They go and find a bridge and Bill puts on his harness and ties himself to the side of the bridge. He throws himself off the edge and falls through the air screaming at the top of his voice. John cuts the bungy cord and Bill dies.

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Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

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a black man, a jew, a mexican and an irish man walked into a bar and the bartender says: This is joke right??

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A dog goes into a bar. He is wearing an eye patch. The dog says to the bartender, "Have you heard the one about the one-eyed dog?" The bartender, who is deaf in one ear, thinks the dog is making fun of him. He asks him to leave. The dog says, "Don't you have a sense of humor, deafie?" At the end of his shift, the bartender is tired of all the jokes. Today it's a one-eyed dog. Yesterday it was a horse with rickets. The day before: ants. He lives above the bar, in a small room. He spends the night alone there, listing to his battery operated radio, which picks up only a bad jazz station. He listens to bad jazz with his bad ear.

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Your so dumb, you didn't notice I should have used you're. Don't lie

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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What's samller than a table but can't go under it? A baby with hay fork in his back.

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what's black? a lot of things.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a knife Take off your clothes

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What do you call a Mexican named Chicee? Chicee

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What did the pig do when the farmer died? He just stood there cause pigs are stupid.

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What is worse then a worm in your apple? 2 worms in your apple.

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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why did the 14 year old girl cross the road? to get an abortion of the child she became impregnated with after getting raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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