Bird jokes are not funny! Crow up!

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What do you call a donkey that can't speak? Whatever you want to call it...I prefer to call it a donkey that can't speak!

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Stop shitting in my garden

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What can you conclude about a black man in a mercedes? He has crack and car insurance.

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait; it would be quite unsanitary to talk about my genitals in front of you.

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your dad called night and told me your grandpa died.

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How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

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Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning.

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How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

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Why is it incorrect that the universe will end in 2012? Because profound idiocy doesn't always occur.

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Why did the rapist go to the girl's dorm? He wanted to apologise for his crimes, and brought them all a drink. It was spiked, he raped them

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A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican guy are stranded in the middle of a desert. After many days of not finding food, water, or shelter they contemplate cannibalism to survive, but can't decide who to eat. The mexican dies first for an unrelated reason

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What african eat for christmas Sand.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What did the man say to his wife right before they got married? "I do."

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Don't you sometime just want to chop of your toes and stomp around to prove to the so called 'experts' that it is possible for a person to walk without toes? . . . . . . me neither

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Sticks and stones may break my bones and they can also break cars.

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Why is 6 scared of 9? Because 9 is a zombie.

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What does mickee say to other animals. Mouse

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Why was the elderly, Asian, blond pulled over by the officer? She was, and has been completely blind since birth.

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What do you call a fast black man with big muscles? A good source of minorities evolving.

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what does the doctor say to the patient. you have cancer

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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