Why did the white bartender kick out a black man and his Mexican friend out of the bar? It was closing time

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a wolf that eventually killed and ate it.

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Why did the terminal cancer patient die? Because he fell of the stairs with his wheelchair.

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A black guy goes to the bar. The Barman say: What would you like to drink?

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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Creationism.

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what is the diffrence between a chinesse man and a japanesse man, one is ruled by a cruel communist leader.

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What's worse than a dead man?  2 dead men

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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from south park what do u call a jew on a rope no one ever said the answer, so my answer is a jew on a rope.

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alert("The Game");

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Four men are stranded on a small desert island. The first of them decides to build a raft out of bamboo, but it only has room for one passenger. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouted to the men on shore as he left, but a band of pirates killed him in the middle of the ocean. The second castaway was more clever, and built a submarine out of bamboo and sealed it with hides of animals they had killed. He counteracts the buoyant force with sand. In this way, he planned to avoid the pirates by being underwater. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he exclaimed as he sealed the one person sized chamber of his submarine, but not far off shore, he runs out of oxygen and suffocates to death. The third castaway learned from the mistakes of the first two, and in spite of the unpredictability of handcrafted aerial vehicles, he makes a glider. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouts from the hill top of the island as he leaps off and glides over the horizon. Though the journey is fraught with peril, he makes it back to civilization and is reunited with his family. It is expensive, but he prepares an expedition back to the island where his fourth comrade remains. It is worthy to note that on this small island, all the means of making shelter had been used up in the construction of the raft, submarine, and glider. The fourth castaway was found dead from exposure to the elements.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What did the cabbage say to the cabbage? I dont know ask the leafy guy.... >_

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If life gives you lemonade.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some roses are white 72.4% of Americans are too

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The $5.00 Foot-long at Subway's is actually $5.45 due to tax.

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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LUKE, I am your father... this is your mother, your parents dont love you so we've adopted you

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What's clear and wet? water

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What happened in your mom's locked bedroom last night I don't know

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3 black men walk into a bar. They order their drinks, tip the bartender, and could not have been more courteous.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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