What did the blonde call her pet zebra? Isaac

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What starts with an F and ends with a UCK? Firetruck.

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Your dad is so dumb he tried to put M&M's in abc order

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What did the businessman at work do when he found out his wife was cheating on him? He stayed in his cubicle and continued to work, because he was a diligent, hard-working man.

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Whats worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being stabbed.

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What do you call a giraffe without a neck? Dead.

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Whats worse than getting shot in the foot? Watching each member of your family get shot in the foot.

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how big is the moon? why the hell are you asking me?...dumbass.

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint.

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What's brown and sticky? Feces.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

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A gay man walks into a bar has a few drinks then goes home without being recognized as a homosexual.

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How far can a baby fly? As far as you can throw it.

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What did the little boy say to his malignant tumour? "Hello" The tumour did not respond.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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A Black man and an Asian man are at a bar. They have a few drinks and then leave.

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why did the man have solar panels on his house? because he had some money left over cos he won the lottery

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage..

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Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

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Two fish we're in a tank.. Yup.

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What did the blonde do when she missed bus 40? She waited 30 minutes for it to come back around again.

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42

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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