- Anti Joke

How do you fit 94 jews in a volkswagon? two in the front, three in the back, and 89 in the ash tray

How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

When life throws you lemons, you probably have dyslexia

How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

Darude - Sandstorm

do you know whats worse than a bad joke on antijoke.com the holocaust.

Q: What do you give a woman with everything? Nothing. You own nothing to give.

Q: What is the difference between a duck? A: That question doesn't make any sense.

why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

why did Sarah fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock! who's there? not Sarah.

A man with no legs walks into a bar.

what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

What do you call a black man with a gun? A police officer.

Why did the white comedian get booed off stage? Because his jokes were humorless and offensive.

Guess What??? Ur Murr

Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here I don't get it

A man walks in to a bar, the bartender asks "what will it be?" The man says i don't know, what will it be?"

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because having been born Chick L. Sanders only three years before, his dream (as advertised by his dear old mother, Mrs Sanders (who was suffering from a poor but luckily passing bout of measles)) was to make it in showbiz. He was a poor chick, Chick, growing up in Indianapolis (the chick kicking capital of the world) but he learned how to cope and how to toughen up -- this chick, Chick, kicked when ticked off. After reaching the dear young age of three, this chick (still Chick) headed west to make it to Los Angeles. He arrived in Iowa a couple of years later, having grown stubble and achieved chick puberty. In search of pressing and more immediate desires, he raped a duckling. Although he knew such a deed was morally polarizing, he kept it out of his mind until he received a telegram detailing that his mother (Mrs Sanders) had been killed by another bout of measles that did not pass and proved ultimately fatal. Overcome with grief and regret, he castrated himself and told himself to never again seek pleasures of the flesh. Because of this action, he became forever known as Chick the Dickless. He worked in Des Moines for a time, but knew he had to continue on his journey to achieve his dreams. Crossing the Missouri, he found himself embarrassingly in Kansas, a place he did not want to go and was famed for its stoning of anything castrated. He avoided Topeka and traveled through some hills before getting hit by a twister. Chick the Dickless twisted until Chick clicked that a kick and a lick to the prick would hick him from such a predicament. He eventually landed in New Mexico, on the border of the Rio Grande because he forgot chickens could fly if they were castrated. Chick the Dickless flicked through a prickly dictionary and found he was not in Kansas anymore. He continued his journey west, eventually finding himself in the Copper Canyon. It was blisteringly hot and in the heat he forgot his own last name. He did, however, remember his nickname; Dickless. So he created a new persona under that unforgiving sun, even if the name was nicked from his nickname; Chick Dickless. In the heat, he realized he had no use for his heavy feathers and so tore them off himself, making him look like a skinny prick. Name-nicked Chick Dickless skinny prick shortened the Dickless down to Dick, because syllables waste breath. Name-nicked Chick Dick skinny prick licked his heat-blasted limbs to recover energy, using the memory of his mother and sheer will power to get out of Arizona. He finally arrived in California, just mere miles from Los Angeles. But he eventually came to a road that split him from the City of Angels. Name-nicked Chick Dick (skinny prick, who-licked limbs, tornado hick) was sick of obstacles. But it was the last one... So why did the chicken cross the road? Ask Mr Sanders, you lucky bastard.

What do you get when two chickens cross a road? -Salmonella stricken hobos

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

why did 9/11 poop on a condominium? fuk

dassa

What's black, white, and red all over? A murdered interracial couple.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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