Whats cold and frozen? ice

Did the boy ever tell you how he died? Trick questions he's dead, deceased bodies can't talk.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a cucumber

HOW LONG is a Chinese name?

Why couldn't the little girl see in the dark? She had no eyes.

That dress looks amazing on you considering how fat you are.

What did the blonde do at the WTC on 9/11? Die.

why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other side

"Do you like pie?" "No." "Do you like blueberries?" "No." "I have something you won't like." "Is it a blueberry pie?" "No, I shagged your wife last night".

what happens when you mix a black guy and a Mexican? nothing, it is physically impossible to "mix" people.

Why did the black man buy watermellon? Because he was having a barbecue in his suburban neighborhood and he wanted some fruit.

Whats worse then a rainy day? Rape.

Well that sucks, your dad is dead.

Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

Try this on someone... go up and say "Ive got a great knock knock joke for you but you have to start" there response "Ok, knock knock" you say "Who's there?" They are usually dumbfounded and a hilarious awkward silence ensues

what do you call the head-less man sitting on your porch? By what ever his name is!!

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

What do you call a blonde with a Doctorate in Physics? Doctor (Dr).

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to, like any other chicken

If a chicken and a half layed an egg and a half in a day and a half how many pancakes does it take to shingle a roof? -A banana has no bones

Your mother is so ugly, her genes were passed down through two generations, and now your children are of a similar caliber of ugliness. I'm so sorry.

despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

Your momma's of a reasonable figure and weight.

How do you kill a cancer patient? Throw a fridge at him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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