What did the burn victim get for Christmas? A book of matches

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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A woman sees a sign on a store that says "husbands for sale." Curious, she walks inside. The clerk says "These men will be perfect husbands, they'll cook and clean for you and see to your every need." Shocked, the woman calls the police and reports the store for human trafficking.

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what did the boy say? please please please please goout with me

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I raped someone in my basement... ...Just Kidding!... ...I dont have a basement

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An old lady and her son walk into a hospital, only to find it covered in TRICERITOPS SHIT!!!!

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How did the Joker get away? Because the Batmobile lost a wheel.

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Probably just one.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares what a Chicken does?

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How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

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How tall is the grass in Germany? ZIS HIGH! *put hand about an inch and half off the ground* I mow it about every ozher week

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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How do you make a baby cry ? Throw a brick at his face

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Why is Satan evil? Because he makes people eat apples.

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How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

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What do you say to a black guy who is holding a gun to your head? Nothing. He is holding a gun to your head.

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How do you break up a fight between two blacks I have ADD and Im proud of it

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

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Your mom is so fat, I do not see how she can possibly wipe effectively.

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What do you call an horse? A horse, because horse does not start with a vowel and that would be grammatically incorrect.

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Roses are lamp, Violets are squirrel, I have ADHD, LET'S DANCE!

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What happend to the chicken that crossed the road? He got hit by a truck.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops