Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +4,748

Why does dan leave Amy? Because dan is in another relationship and did not want to be unlawful to Amy.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't say anything because its a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +5,167

When one person has an imaginary friend, you call it being crazy. But when more than one person has the same imaginary friend, you call it religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A dog walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender goes to get him a drink, but then realizes how ridiculous this is and wakes up from his dream. He rolls over to tell his wife about it, but she ignores him. He begins to cry silently, realizing his marriage is in shambles.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,106

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park.

thumb_up thumb_down +5,001

Your friend is so gay, he has consensual sex with other men. and enjoys it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6,026

Three minorities walk into a bar and are treated poorly

thumb_up thumb_down +308

An alien, a midget, and a Jew walk into a bar... I forget the rest but your mom's a whore

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Train A leaves the station at 1:42 while traveling in 176kmh. How long will it take for the conductor to realize the bridge it ou... Too long.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

roses are black your mamas white i didnt mean to say it but it's right

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There is a law in california that says that women are not allowed to drive with house coats.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's long, yellow, and can kill you if swallowed? A school bus

thumb_up thumb_down +3

XD, I know I noticed myself, I was like "why the fuck did I post that shit?" Rellez XD okay sistah, I think I am just gonna get some sleep now, but Nero, is not Justin Bibble the first one?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q.If you are European in the bathroom, what are you in the kitchen? A. A woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why can't Jade Goody go swimming? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you put in a lightbulb? Call your local electrition

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Yo mamma is so fat, that she's going on a diet and is exercising regularly to lose wait.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? Billy was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the girl put on make-up and perfume? Because she was ugly and smelled bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

what do you get when you cross a rhino and a chicken? well, if you're unlucky and too close too the chicken, salmonella if you provoke the rhino, impaled

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops