Why doesn't the farmer have a dog? He doesn't like dogs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

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Your mother is so fat. We are all extremely concerned for her health.

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a black man was chasing his dinner.

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Knock Knock Who did that?

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What's red and smells like blue paint? red paint

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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Whats worse then your penis in your mouth? Your mom in your penis.

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What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

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whats worse than biting your apple and finding a worm? WWII.

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What did Steve jobs tell bill gates? Please pass the salt.

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What do you call a shop dedicated to selling rap music, watermelons, grape soda and fried chicken? A poor business model

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Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

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What's big, purple, and smells like children? Barney

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Why did the black man get a zero on his SAT? He was up so late helping orphans with disabilities that he fell asleep during the test.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he has no arms.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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what did the blind orphan with no legs get for christmas? cancer.

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One day little billy was wandering happily through the forest.He then trips and his legs disintegrate

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how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back. And 6 million in the ashtray

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yo mama so fat that when she jumped on her tempurpedic mattress the wine did spill

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Three irishmen walk into a bar...every day, and then stay until it closes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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