What's red and hurts you? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why does a snake have eyes? To see!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Walt disney Walks Into A Bar, The Bartender says "WOAH ITS WALT DISNEY!"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

speak now or forever hold your pee

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I think people who go to see a psychiatrist need their head examining.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How does Cee Lo Green order extra ketchup? Can I have some more ketchup, please?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the baby cross the road? Because I took a swing at it with a golf club.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock knock Whos there your son your son who holy shit dad just let me in

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A Homosexual, a Jew and a Black walk into a bar. They do not speak make eye contact or acknowledge each other in any way.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

hohifooncuiohicvsdhn ioshd

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did a blind man buy a violin. To learn how to play a violin.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake. One blonde yells to the other, "How do you get to the other side?" "You are on the other side," the other blonde yells back.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

knock knock. who's there? Ida Ida who? Idanno, don't ask me.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is the black stuff between elephants toes? Slow natives

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris, or a Tank? A: Chuck Norris, because his hidden fist in his chin gives him 3 fists to the tank's 0.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Duke: Hi Sally: Hello Duke: Nice weather huh? Sally: I couldn't tell ya duke, I'm not a meteorologist.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a Rabbi and a Priest? One's a Jew, one's a Christian

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did the little girl eat grapes? because she felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down

How are people and jelly beans similar? No one likes the black ones

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops