A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar They are friends and continue to have a pleasant evening

Why are you so stupid? Becuse I spelled because wrong

Why was it really gross when the blonde dove into the swimming pool? Because the swimming pool was full of phlegm!

What did Spiderman do when he saw a crime taking place? He stopped it

Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with men other than her husband.

Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... two pregnancy scares...whats worse than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

Why did sally fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

Whats big brown and sticky A sappy oak tree

Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

Joe diragi is gayer than elton john

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Me.

So a black man walked into a bar and ordered a drink. He payed for the drink and couldn't have been more courteous

A chicken walks into asda/walmart The person at the counter says: "What can I get you?" The chicken says: "Cluck"

What is 9 inches long, the same colour as my skin, and makes my girlfriend gag when I shove it down her throat? Her Miscarriage.

A man walks into a bar. The second man sees the first man's mistake and ducks. The third man needs to take no precautions as he is a midget and can simply walk under the bar.

what do you call a half dead black person crawling across your lawn..............................stop laughing and reload

Yo momma's so fat, she had a heart attack and is currently hospitalized.

Whats easier to fit in a trunk, babies or concrete bricks? Babies because you can hit them with a pitchfork.

Why did the man go to the doctors? He was concerned about his health.

What`s red and smells like blue paint? A sunburned baby drinking green paint.

What's black and white and red all over? A exploding zebra.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!


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