you dint have to be a jew matt

Two blondes are walking down the street. One breaks her left high heel and the other is called Monica.

What's funnier than killing a bunch of orphans? Pretty much anything is funnier than that. What's wrong with you?

What's better then petting a lion? Petting a lion and not getting eaten

everyone lies especially if they said agree to terms of service

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Annld so the penguin said, "This is my most casual outfit!"

Why did the mexican immigrant have no friends? He lacked social skills and was unfamiliar with American mannerism's.

What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy almost unparalleled in marine history.

What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

There was a guy and a girl naked in bed, sleeping together. When they woke up they didn't remember the last 72 hours and wanted some questions answered, including Where am I? Who are you? What year is it? What's my name?

Is that a banana in your pocket? As a matter of fact, yes it is.

Friends are like trees. If you hit them with an axe enough times, they'll fall over.

just imagine like a whole mark no imagine like 1000 marks an army of marks ready to conquer

A man walks into a bar. Realizing that he left his keys in his car, he called a locksmith to unlock the doors. He did not have money to pay this locksmith and was put in prison for his large sums of debt. He was shanked by a fellow inmate and died a few days later in the prison's hospital ward.

Roses aren't blue Violets aren't red She was my ex wife But now she's just dead.

Two Jews walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a wonderful time.

What do chinese people eat? Chinese food.

What's worse than stepping on a Lego? Leukemia

What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody nose.

What one thing do the five members of Mystery Inc have in common? They were all raped and killed by REAL MONSTERS! One of the monsters happened to be Chuck Norris. He's a BEAST!

josh roberts got the d in geog

What do you call a black man jumping off a bridge? Suicide.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...