An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red Violets are blue I own a lawn mower Can you swim?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

if you have hair on the palm of your hand you might want to get that checked out

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q. bob had 93 chocolate bars and ate 74 what does he have now? A. diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Im gonna Rape that Liberato kid you was talking about, ALL UP THE ASS i will find him.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

Q. There were 2 Mexicans in a car, who was driving it? A. The police officer.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you make a sandwich out of clay? Shape it like a sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A:One is fun to hit with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What was Hitlers first toy? An easy back oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

GUESS WHAT ?????????? THATS WHAT CAOMHIN

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a bar. He buys a beer, drinks it and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down

A blind man walks off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +318

Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walked into a bar, was surprised to find his wife with another man, and had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

roses are red violets are pink your nanas in the cowfeild with a bottle of stink... not really shes long gone.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I hope you take your own wise words to heart Nero, how would you like to claim to be me and get our ship somewhat on land before it all goes to pieces? After all I have been claiming to be you for a long long time.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you get when you cross an l with a line? A t.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Is it normal to eat breakfastr in the morning? Yes By Logan in South Dakota

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops