Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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Whats the hardest thing to have sex with? a goldfish.

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There was an american man on the way to work.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What did michael J. Fox say when someone asked him to play catch? "sorry, I'm busy".

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Yo mama so stupid, she should be worried about Alzheimer's disease.

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Suck pussy

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how do you get a clown off a swing??? hit him in the back with an ax!

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The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

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Why couldn't Peter climb the tree? Because he's a fish.

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What was the leg less and armless mans favorite type of music? Nubstep

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*ahem* what? what. oh I thought you said something

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What did the deer say to the hunter? If you shoot me i'll die.

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I saw a butterfly yesterday with no wings so I poured some red bull on it and BAM! it drowned.

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Q: Whats worst than the Holocaust A: If a second Holocaust happened, and then you found an apple in your apple

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I accidentally washed my white Labrador retriever with three red shirts and my Red Sox baseball cap. When I went to move the laundry, the dog was drowned.

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What do you call a dumb friend? Sam.

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Boy 1: What comes after L? Boy 2: Elephant, elbow, elk, elementary, Elliot, Elder Scrolls? Boy 1: No. Boy 2: What is the answer? Boy 1: M

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Why was the white girl crying? Because she was sad.

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You come across a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. Why are you telling a joke? Go make sex.

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Yo mamma's so black, and that's ok. We're all different and unique.

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whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

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i dont know why but when ever i see jew they always say "whats up?"

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Why did the weird, creepy old man in the beat up van give ice cream to the little girl? Because his company went bankrupt and as part of a court order, he was thereby forced to give away the remaining contents of his inventory to those who seeked it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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