Ich bin nicht der Anführer

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What do you call a girl with one leg? Eileen

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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An alien just ate your family and all of the things you love

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Yo momma's so dirty that she washes her hands with anti-bacterial soap.

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A blonde and a brunette walk into a job interview. The brunette gets the job because she is more qualified and has more experience.

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Comedy.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was suicidal.

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Why is Obama's name Obama? Obama

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Who is stupid and no one likes him. Me. :(

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Why did the ckicken cross the road? to kiss my ass

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How much is that doggie in the window? $4.95 + Shipping&Handling

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Why couldn't the man see the camoflague iguana He could.

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If atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby.

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What did the chicken say when it layed the square egg? Ouch.

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What's big white and cant climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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I forgot what i was gonna say

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21 Ways to Annoy Everybody 1) Pretend to be one of the Bush family. Doesn't matter which. 2) Have an uncontrollable lusting for someone else every five minutes. 3) Pretend to be from different ethnic backgrounds every hour, and when people ask you about it, answer like a hillbilly would. 4) Act like a hillbilly. Period. 5) Improvise Italian operas. 6) Gossip about someone to their face. 7) Answer every question with a question. 8) Repeat yourself constantly. 9) Act like a member of the opposite sex. 10) Repeat yourself constantly. 11) Act like Mr. Flanders from The Simpsons. 12) Repeat yourself constantly. 13) Change what you repeat every now and then. 14) Use homonyms in your e-male that the spell cheque would knot sea as miss steaks. 15) Change what you repeat every now and then. 16) Talk to someone while looking at somebody else. 17) Employ in your casual banter extensive vocabulary that will befuddle thy contemporaries. 18) Change what you repeat every now and then. 19) One word: Caffeine. 20) Another word or two: Caffeine and Sugar. 21) stringwhateveryousayintoonelongwordsoitshardtomakeoutwhatyou'resaying.

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Why was the black kid at school? Because he wanted to receive an education.

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Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

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Why did the Nazi not help the black man up after he had been badly injured? The Nazi was in a wheelchair.

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What is the best time to go to the dentist? When you have a toothache

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Why did the monKey fall out of the tree? He died Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first one

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A kid walks into a bar. He leaves wasted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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