Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

knock knock who's there jehovas witness... ...I allow them into my house for a cup of tea and a chat as I respect their religion

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you know your sister is on her period? - Your dad´s dick tastes like blood.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When Miley Cyrus sticks out her tongue, people usually are there to take a photograph.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two Muffins in an oven One muffin looks at the other muffin and says: "Oohhhh it's hot in here!". Then the other muffin says: "Oohhhh a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t get to cross the road. Halfway through the crossing, it was hit by a car and turned into roadkill. Then a family of black people picked it up and turned it into fried chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Give this a thumbs up cuz mi spelin is baad

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +230

If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a cannibal who won't eat his own brother? A pussy.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

what did the man with no arm get for Christmas? A rowboat

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock Knock Whos there? Rivkee Rivkee who? RIVKEEEEE FIRETRUCK!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Timmy lose the race? He had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down +7

*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How did the blind man cross the road? With the use of a cane and a registered seeing eye dog

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Holy ****, I'm in heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops