modern love

what do you call a ginger......... billy and mickee.......

How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

What did batman say to robin before getting into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile robin.

what did the scientist say in Siberia? burrrrrrrrrrilium

Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

hi

A man is gay, a parade is held in his honor. A man is black, a holiday is named after him. A man is white, he laughs at the stupidity in the world today.

What's better than winning the lottery? Winnig the lottery twice.

How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? One is a person of Jewish descent and the other is a device for traversing waterways akin to the raft.

How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.

hey how do you turn the Xbox controller off thats easy turn the xbox off.

Your mama's so fat that we couldn't catch the cancer early and it gave her crippling weight problem. I'm so sorry.

Why did the man buy fruits at the store? Because they were available, on sale, and the man was hungry, so he wanted to eat fruit at that time, he then got into his car, but thought to himself first, "I should unlock my car so I can open the door," so he does so, and sits in the drivers seat eating his fruit, he drives off to his home, arrives safely, and greets his family as he enters the house, then they sit down, eat dinner, and go to sleep, the next day, the man goes to the store, and buys vegetables

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was at a crosswalk and the walk light was on.

What's worse than AIDS Nothing can possibly be worse than finding out you have AIDS

Whats slower than molasses? A dead baby.

What is black and hanging from the tree in my back yard? A tire Swing.

Why can't Johnny run? He has no legs.

Walruses are basically saber-toothed seals. That does not affect the fact that they are awesome.

what did the man say to the sad woman? go make ma a sammich before i hit you again! the women refused and was hit again.

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? A healthy, balanced diet consisting of all food groups, unless they are vegetarian or vegan, hence they will not consume any meats or animal products.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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