- Anti Joke

What do you call a kid that hasnt passes 7th grade? A 6th grader

What do you call a guy and two girls are at the bottom of the ocean? A guy and two girls at the bottom of the ocean.

A biology teacher walks into a bar. "Ouch," he says. "I bet I just lost some brain cells. I wonder if any of them were going through mitosis..."

Penis.

If an oak tree falls in the woods, and the tree has 3 squirrel nest in them, then does a whale jizz in the ocean?

Welcome To Facebook

Goats are like mushrooms, If you shoot a duck im scared of toasters

Why was billy made fun of his whole life? Because he's mentally retarded

Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

The hippo's an African beast, Who notably is quite obese, Quite boorish and mean And never too lean And poops in the rivers, at least...

Nope, I mean you can try, but my phone is busted and the code on the chip my galpal here managed to finally get into the cell, has sixteen digits so damn small that none of us can read it,

Have you ever heard of a goose?

Why can't helen keller drive a car? Because she is a woman

What do you call a praying mantis at your door step? a Jehovah Witness

What's worse than an avalanche? Being raped in prison.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Mets.

What did the depressed girl say to her mother? I cut my wrists

Every day Mr. Robbins, or Big Jim as his friends call him, follows the same routine that he has for the last several years. His days are always typical and very rarely differ or have any excitement thrown in the mix. It usually starts off by him waking up to his wife farting rather loudly, giving off a potent and irritating smell. This happens because she has a certain condition that makes her much more gassy than the normal person, especially as she sleeps. So Big Jim then takes his pillow and throws it at her head. She usually wakes up thinking that he is trying to be playful because of that, even though what follows next has happened every single time for the last few years. He then grabs his pistol out from under where his pillow used to be and then continues to pistol whip her for the annoyance. After bloodying her up a bit he then proceeds to the bathroom to urinate and then cry at his increasingly shrinking penis because of his steroids abuse, which hasn't made him get in shape or become stronger, but rather worsened his already four hundred pound weight to an astonishing four hundred and one pounds. After crying for a while he then brushes his teeth and gets dressed. He goes to work and gets chewed out by his boss every day for his lack of effort and is then threatened to be fired if it does not improve by the end of the month. He is always being chewed out by his boss because he does the absolute minimum he is legally allowed to do at the Woman's Abuse Shelter. But, at the end of the month he is never fired because he threatens to kill his bosses daughter whom he has fresh photos of her most recent farting accident as proof of his promise. Normally someone would go to the police, especially when there is photographic evidence, but unfortunately the police chief is his father, who has an out-dated sense of Male Superiority, and the only detective in their small town suffered a heart attack four months ago. This caused a problem because the body was never disposed of because the only medical examiner died one day prior to that because he tripped over the body of the only doctor at a crime scene and fell off the mountain, killing both him and the only man who knew how to use a telephone in their town as that man tried to grab and save him but was only taken along on the ride. And now no one wants to report any crimes because they do not want to walk into the department because of the smell, and nobody knows how to use a phone because that person died trying to save the life of the only medical examiner who tripped over the body of the only doctor at a crime scene and went tumbling down, leaving the only detective to rot in the department, causing nobody to want to report any crimes because they do not want to walk into the department because of the smell, and nobody knows how to use a phone because that person died trying to save the life of the only medical examiner who tripped over the body of the only doctor at a crime scene and went tumbling down, leaving the only detective to rot in the department, causing nobody to want to report any crimes because they do not want to walk into the department because of the smell, and nobody knows how to use a phone because that person died trying to save the life of the only medical examiner who tripped over the body of the only doctor at a crime scene and went tumbling down, leaving the only detective to rot in the department, causing nobody to want to report any crimes because they do not want to walk into the department because of the smell, and nobody knows how to use a phone because that person died trying to save the life of the only medical examiner who tripped over the body of the only doctor at a crime scene and went tumbling down, leaving the only detective to rot in the department, causing nobody to want to report any crimes because they do not want to walk into the department because of the smell, and nobody knows how to use a phone because that person died trying to save the life of the only medical examiner who tripped over the body of the only doctor at a crime scene and went tumbling down, leaving the only detective to rot in the department, causing nobody to want to report any crimes because they do not want to walk into the department because of the smell, and nobody knows how to use a phone because that person died trying to save the life of the only medical examiner who tripped over the body of the only doctor at a crime scene and went tumbling down, leaving the only detective to rot in the department, causing nobody to want to report any crimes because they do not want to walk into the department because of the smell, and nobody knows how to use a phone because that person died trying to save the life of the only medical examiner who tripped over the body of the only doctor at a crime scene and went tumbling down, leaving the only detective to rot in the department, causing nobody to want to report any crimes because they do not want to walk into the department because of the smell, and nobody knows how to use a phone because that person died trying to save the life of the only medical examiner who tripped over the body of the only doctor at a crime scene and went tumbling down, leaving the only detective to rot in the department, causing nobody to want to report any crimes because they do not want to walk into the department because of the smell, and nobody knows how to use a phone because that person died trying to save the life of the only medical examiner who tripped over the body of the only doctor at a crime scene and went tumbling down, leaving the only detective to rot in the department, causing nobody to want to report any crimes. Big Jim then went home and his wife shot him to stop him from killing her eventually, but was never arrested because nobody wanted to go into the police department to report the crime, but the only police chief, who was his dad, does not want to see his son because his son made fun of him for smelling like dead body because he was always inside a room with a dead rotting body.

why did sally fall of the swing? because she had no arms... knock knock? (whos there) not sally

A woman who lived alone with her parrot left her apartment to run to the store, forgetting that a plumber was scheduled to come and fix her sink. A few minutes later, the plumber arrived and knocked on the door. The parrot inside called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, "it's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waited for a bit and, seeing that nobody was coming to the door, knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, a little more loudly, "it's the plumber! I've come to fix the sink!" Again the plumber waited. After a few more minutes, he knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber yelled, as loudly as he could, "IT'S THE PLUMBER! I'VE COME TO FIX THE SINK!" Still, nobody came to the door. The plumber banged the door repeatedly, The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screamed "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIIINK!!!" and then, consumed with rage, clutched his chest and fell over dead from a stress-induced heart attack. A few minutes later, the woman returned home and, while opening her door, noticed the plumber lying dead in her hallway. She looked at her parrot and asked, "Who is it?" The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?"

why did the chicken cross the road? because the 99p mcdonalds mayo chicken was popular in the coop.

An man walks to a bra

Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

One day an Indian boy asked his father why they have such long names? The dad answered him in a such a simple and concise way, that the little boy understood.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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