Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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Q: What were Peter's emotions after he bought his $2 million house? A: None, in fact he has no home, family and anyone to help him. his leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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What did Santa Clause say to Rudolf? Nothing. Santa's not real.

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What did the pope do when he saw the grinch? He prayed for his soul.

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So I was sitting in the doctor's when I noticed a guy sitting about two seats down, wearing a sombrero and pouring salt over himself. Then I found out I had cancer and promptly lost all interest in him.

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What do you call a black man in a truck A driver

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A fat man buys a salad

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? He was blind.

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Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

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why did the boy get hit by a bus? because he was black

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender doesnt serve her because she is 12.

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What's black and sits at the top of the stair case? Stephen hawking in a house fire.......

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Tell my wife I died doing what I love... Not her

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Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

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What does a Somalian want for Christmas? Nothing hes Sunni Muslim and does not celebrate Christmas

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Where did Sarah go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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What did Anne Frank say to the Nazis who found her? Please be gentle.

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What has four legs one head but only one foot? A dog that was born with physical deformities.

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A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

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Why did Christopher Columbus sail to America? Because sailing was faster than swimming.

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What is black and white and red all over? A black, red and white picture

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A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says nothing, because he's a horse The bartender soon relizes there is a horse in his bar, and calls animal control

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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