Titanic with will smith. Girl: I wont ever let go of you. Leo: Drowns. Smith: Move your fat ass over girl, there is like room for me and fifthy kids there yo! Me: Bitch if you need to float on a piece of wood where six of us could fit, im gonna drown you.

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What's worse than a paper cut? 2 paper cuts.

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Period Blood

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What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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Mother Mary held her daughter 20 minutes under water. Not to save her from her troubles, just to see the funny bubbles

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Jesus may have walked on water, but Stephen Hawking runs on batteries.

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot? an orange parakeet

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Why did the cave men discover fire? They were the only humans on earth.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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Why did the black man get shot Cause someone shot him

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Two guys walk into a bat, they have a couple drinks then go home, one crashed and died in a horrible drunk driving accident. The other, who took a cab, went home and viciously beat his wife.

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Why did the turtle cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pilot.

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Your mom is so environmentally conscious, she recycles a great deal.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The rabbi says "ow my head"

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Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

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Q: What did the serail rapist say to his best friend? A: You're a good friend

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered SIX offender

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A: Knock knock. B: <>

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

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What's big, red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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YOLO MAH BROLO

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800000000000000000?0?00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000?0000 I hate you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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