Q: What's worse than school? A:Your mum dying

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A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

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Your mother is so poor that she has to rely on government sent cheques to sustain a basic lifestyle.

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A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for some water. The bartender replies: "Sorry, we don't have any." The man responds: "Sorry, I'm drunk." He walks out.

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Three blind mice walk into a pub. They are all unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humor from it would be exploitative.

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Q: What do you get when you get a bunch of people who confuse dark humor for anti humor? A: This website.

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Why did the black man cross the road? he just wanted to cross the road, racist. ... after he had robbed a bank

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, others don't

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John has 38 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

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A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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Why did the burrito taste bad? It's a giraffe.

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Q: What did the floor say to the Christmas tree? A: Your balls are hanging.

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How many retards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No number of them could figure it out. They sit in the dark for hours, scared of the monsters.

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Q: How do u make a butcher cry A: Kill its family

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The Irish man was sober.

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women's rights.

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What's worse than getting rejected by your date? Finding out she gave you a social disease. Namely AIDS.

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How do you keep a woman from driving your car? Shoot her.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how you throw 'em.

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roses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

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Whats Black and White and Red all over ? A Zebra laying in a pool of its own blood.

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What did Dave tell me on Tuesday? "It's Wednesday, dumbass."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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