A drunk guy walks into a bar and falls flat on his back. Upset, he then finds a bathroom. An hour later he is arrested for beating off in the bathroom. off is pressing charges.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Out on the playground of a school, extremely young kids are acting as living witness to an audacious thing. They're watching a very interesting display of strength and brutality. They're observing a enactment of lofty potential and great might. What're they watching? They're regarding their principal getting promptly arrested by the federal police for possession of technically illegal weaponry including, but not only limited to what looked like to them: peculiar "fire crackers" and reloadable "candy dispensers". In the ensuing battle, their principal got shot in the arm and a random pedestrian got killed by a stray bullet. In the end, the cruel joke's on them. Guess what? They're irrepairably damaged for the rest of their life.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his whole family

thumb_up thumb_down +51

A mother and her kid are in a park: Kid: Why did the chicken go to jail? Mother: Because the chicken killed your father... Now we are broke living in a park and I'm gonna kill myself at noon, and so are you. Kid: I'm not doing that, and neither are you and Daddies over their! The dad is a zombie, this is the beginning of the zombie apocalypses. THE END!!! PUPPIES!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between a bunch of slaves and a porsche? A: i don't have porsche in my basement

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Your momma is so fat that she decided to begin an exercise program and eat healthy and she lost weight.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the Indian cross the road? Trail of Tears.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

you: knock knock person: who's there you: interrupting cow person: interrupting cow you:MOOOOOOOOO

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Waseem is a hard worker.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how did the fat man get up the stairs he walked

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why didn't the teenager go to high school? He was murdered

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the woman in the kitchen? She was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock knock. Who's there? Ben. Oh hi! come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the rose look so brown? Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did a girl walk down the alley? because her name was alley!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Jimmy fall out of the tree. Cause' I shot him.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I'm allergic to peanuts. DAMIT

thumb_up thumb_down -4

^that joke's not funny

thumb_up thumb_down +50

A player under the tag "KiTcHeNGuRLxGaMerZ143" got a message after finishing a map on call of duty. "lol ur good."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops