How do you make a sandwich out of clay? Shape it like a sandwich

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If Earth is a triangle, then why are trees smart? Because turtles have 4 legs

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If you're jumping rope, and both the tires are flat, how much frosting would it take cover the staircase? Rocket!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had a gun to its head

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What did the potato say to the man It said nothing it is a potato

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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I don't know about anybody else, but I just watched a part of a My Little Pony episode, and there's something about them that makes you want to come back and watch more. It's wierd, like mind control. Has anyone noticed this?

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Why is there no Aspirin in the rain forest? Because it wouldn't be financially viable to try and sell pharmaceuticals in the vastly unpopulated rain forest.

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Why did Tyrone try to sell Timmy some blow? Due to his poor educational background, lack of recommendations, and a terrible job market, Tyrone wasn't able to get a real job and had to resort to selling illegal narcotics. This wasn't something Tyrone wanted to do, because he promised himself he would never end up like his father, but this was the only way he could support his family.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff. whats blue and fluffy? pink fluff holding its breath.

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What do you call an Irish man with no legs? Handicapped

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It takes a minute to know somebody, an hour to fall in love, but a lifetime to forget. Once, my mom forgot me at Disney World.

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what do you call a newborn baby? anything you want.

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A Japanese man walks into a bar, it collapses and then is demolished by a tsunami.

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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whats funnier then a joke on anit jokes pracitcally anything cause anti jokes repaeats and everyone has herd them

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If she's old enough for jail, than shes old enough to rail.

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Why'd the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one.

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A man sees a clown, a robot, and a monkey walking down the street side by side. The man ponders the randomness of life.

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American Idol

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I am thinking of a number between 1 and 100 what is it There are many numbers between 1 and 100 so it is highly unlikely that I will guess the right number

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"You've got a lot of C in your body." said the doctor. Jimmy replied with glee: "Ah that's great news, vitamin C is.." "No you've got Hepatitis C, you'll be dead within a month."

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What did susan boyle say when she saw a 10 year old boy get hit by a bus? "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY RING AN AMBULANCE"

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Why didn't the boy go to school? He was sick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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