What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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kevin kim

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What's the easiest way to get a cat out of a tree? Call the fire department and allow them to safely reach the cat and properly extract it from the tree while you watch from below.

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A jewish man walks into a bar and then gets hit in the testicles. he now has testicular cancer.

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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(insert command here) Oh yeah, well I want world peace.

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She Explored My Body, Licked, Sucked, Swallowed! When Satisfied, She Left! . . . . Damn Mosquito!!!

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So,a guy walks up to his friends at the bar and try's to to talk to them,the friends start being rasist ,so the first guy says 'wo guys stop going in that direction ,that one direction

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Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Where is the bathroom, I need to go poo.

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A terrorist gets on a plane. He has a pleasant flight and gets off in a new country.

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Q: Why couldn't Sally ride her bike? A: because Sally has Cerebral Palsy.

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A fat man on a moped

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Two chairs were sitting there. One chair says "Could you pass me that cup?" The other chair says "Oh my God a talking chair!"

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What is the french word for penis? I cannot say because I do not possess an adequate knowledge of the language.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The rabbi survives.

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Why did the black man rob a KFC? He was in a very difficult financial situation and was worried his kids would go homeless. After scouting various locations he found the security at a nearby KFC was non-existent.

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What body part did German prince Heinrich von Missingpenis lack? His toenail.

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A lion walks into a barber shop and asks for a haircut and the barber says no then the lion proceeds to kill everyone in the shop

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Knock Knock Who's there? No one. You're imagining things.

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Why are bacon and eggs good. Because Toasters are silver

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What do you call a baby with a shadow? A shadow-baby!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this cloth smell like chloroform to you!

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what do babies and prostitutes have in common they will both cry if you hit them with a brick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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