Q: What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? A: Not struggling with a debilitating mental or physical handicap.

What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

Why did the cow go over the hill? He didn't. He was pinned and slaughtered in a private owned animal torture facility.

Chuck Norris once jumped off of a 9 story building. He broke half of the bones in his body because he is 71 years old.

Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman

Man 1: Your lifes a joke Man 2: Your talking to yourself Man 1 klled himself Man 2 had cancer

What did the blonde call her pet zebra? Isaac

A man burps while sitting at dinner. Everyone suddenly stops eating and stares at him. How does he get out of it? Answer: He says, "Excuse me."

What do you call a Mexican flying a plane from Mexico City to Los Angeles? A pilot you racist.

Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

What do you call a man who buys flowers, chocolates, and new jewelry for his wife? A kind, considerate husband.

A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

whats green and dont fit? a dead epileptic.

A man walks into a dairy. Most people will not get this as it is cultural slang and they will think it is referring to dairy products.Oh well. This was going to be a good joke.

A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

speak now or forever hold your pee

A jew walks into an Oven....

I advise you, don't mess with me, I know karate, kung fu,judo, tae kwon do, jujitsu, and 28 other dangerous words.

Does an albino chameleon turn different shades of white?

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? They were my friends.

Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,All you HATERS of J. Bieber, Go suck your MOTHER.

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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