A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar and ask the bartender for a drink, but in response the bartender politely points out that there are probably people in need of their assistance at their respective place of warship.

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Two men walk into a bar...They are traveling together for a convention and like pub type bars and are excited to be there.

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Nero Octavios reporting, so far all of our sectors worldwide excluding Spain, Italy and Ground Zero are secure, Nero Augustus is severely wounded but will make it, and despite the our intel Necrissa Angelo is alive and well. We have one single worry though Nero7 the brunt force of the terror attack was large and powerful, yet resistance was incredibly light when we went for the counter-strike, too light, we might have to ready ourselves for some sort of reprisal here.

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Knock knock Who's there? Carrot Carrot who? Carrot in the tree house, cause it's orange.

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A horse walks into a glue factory..

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Hey, look over there! It's ur mom!

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Why did the sheep cry? Because it contracted cancer

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why did the first monkey fall out the tree? he was dead why did the second monkey fall out the tree? he was hit by the first one why did the third monkey fall out the tree? peer pressure why did the fourth monkey fall out the tree? he thought it was a game

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Q: What's worse than dropping your phone in water? A: Throwing water at your phone.

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If Chuck Norris were to be hit by a train he would die

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Sally." "Go away, Sally. I told you I am not interested." Kevin slammed the door on his colleague, as Sally proceeded to find somebody else and move on with her life. Kevin later in life became a drug addict, and got thrown in jail. Sally got married and had four kids, and while she feels bad for Kevin, she is happy with her life.

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What do you call a black man in a police car? Officer.

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How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? (written in 1600 BCE - Westcar Papyrus) -You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish

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Knock knock Who's there? Labrinth Come in

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Your mom is so fat, every time she swims in the ocean, north america sinks because of the high water displacement caused by her giant body mass. (V1-V2=m)

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Your mother is so fat.

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What do you call a white guy pointing a gun at someone? A member of the United States Army.

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Q-What do you call kids who go to school? A- Students.

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What's funnier than diarrhoea? Cancer What's funnier than cancer? The holocaust

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Why does it take women to cum slower than men? Who cares

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Hmmm, how would Sherlock Holmes solve a crime?... Oh wait. He doesn't exist.

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What did farmer brown say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally! How did Sally die? She couldn't figure out how to open the fridge

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An alligator walks into a bar. The bar tender calls animal control and calmly escorts everyone out the back door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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