This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

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Knock Knock! F*ck off

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Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they are all dead.

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Penis

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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hi hey i hate you why you ate my mother she tasted good i like fried chicken ITS A SMALL WORLD! SO DO I well lets go to the beach ok

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Why are all black people fast? because all the slow ones are in jail.

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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What did Helen Keller do when she found a dead body? Nothing.

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Why doesnt the chicken wear any pants? His pecker is on his head

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What killed the dinosaurs? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!!

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Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

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Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

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Yo momma's so bulimic, and there's nothing funny about it at all.

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I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red, HOLY SHIT THE GARDEN'S ON FIRE

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Your mother is such a whore that she has consensual sex with a lot of people...

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because numbers, like people, are afraid of all things bigger than themselves

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Why did the car slow down? Becuase the driver pressed the break

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Did you hear about the guy with five penises? Me neither, because that sounds like a very improbable aberration.

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Catholicism.

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whats worse than jonny james obviously

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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