Why the bird can't fly? Because i cutt off his wings.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? A: The holocaust

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

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Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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...IIITS... :) SMILEY :( AND MADDY THE HORSEHEAD SHOW ITS :) SMILEY :( AND MADDY THE HORSEHEAD SHOW! :) YAY! :(SHADDAP YUUU! Episode one... The waiting for the wait!

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Why was the black man crying? His wife left him, took his children, and most of his possessions in the divorce.

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whats worst than finding a worm in your apple???? an apple in your worm.

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A man walks into a bar. He sees his wife with another man. That man is his brother.

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Knock knock I don't play games, go away! Knock knock How did you get in my house? Knock knock Stay back I have a weapon! Knock knock What are you!!! Knock knock Oh god, someone please help! Knock knock What do you want, I can give you money. Knock knock Just don't hurt my family, please. Knock knock!!! WHO'S THERE!!! I am.

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's nothing else I want to say

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Yo mama's has so much acne, I decided to give her proactive.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke-'er-face

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An artist walks into a bar and orders a rum and ckoe. The bartender reads the first sentence and realizes the artist is dyslexic and fixes him a rum and coke.

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Hi, my name is Jake.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Why did a man get fired from the M&M store? He was color blind.

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What is lazy? My balls. All they do is hang.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your child has been in a terrible car accident.

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A priest, a midget, and the toothfairy walk into a bar. Barack Obama.

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why did the chicken cross the road? cause it can bitch.

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What do a black man and an elephant have in common? They are both multi-cellular organisms, they both belong to the kingdom Animalia, the phylum Chordata, and the class Mammalia, they both possess vertebrae, they both move through legged locomotion, they both possess knee joints and they both possess the capacity for altruistic behavior.

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Worst joke ever

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What happened when a myriad people decided to partake in a large party while staying in a small room? They managed to make a compromise. The party got split into two groups: 50% of the original total in each casual confinement. In the end, everybody had a great time and nobody got hurt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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