Roses are 3:18 Violets are 3:18 I Just figured out a pattern. And saved peoples lives with the help of Keifer Sutherland.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, And I'm blind.

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If life gives you lemons, squeeze it in life' s eyes.

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What's clear and wet?? Water (I think)

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

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An Asian man fails a math test

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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What is a dog's favorite color? None,dogs have colorblindness.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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Whats black and crying after 10 minute my wife's eyes when she left the kitchen

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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Josh brown loves Jessica Potts from Dylan xoxo

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Do you know what the worst part about inbreeding is? - It's runs in the family!

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

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Hey! do you have any updog? Nothing much! you?

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How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

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What's better than your mom dying? Chocolate Cake.

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What did the catholic priest say at the AA meeting? Alcohol is ruining my life.

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Where can you find a Muslim with a boxcutter? At a UPS.

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What did one wall say to the other? Walls don't talk.

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How did the fireman get the cat out the tree? He sprayed it with a hose, killing it in the process.

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What do a comb and a guitar have in common? Neither of them can climb trees.

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What would you call a two-foot Irishman named Max? Max.

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Q: If a hen-and-a-half can lay an egg-and-a-half in a day-and-a-half, how long would it take a peg-legged grasshopper to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle? A: He'd give up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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