How Many Chickens does it take to make an egg? NOrmally 2

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There once was a baby named Paul Bunyan who was as big as a house. His mother died at childbirth.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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Stop procrastinating.

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A woman gets in her car to drive.

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whats black white and red all over an abused child

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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Q:Why didn't Mr. Fuzzy have to cut his hair anymore? A: Because he was diagnosed with cancer

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What do you call a clock that has no sense of time? .....Broken.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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Why did the fox cross the road? To chew on the chicken carcass.

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How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

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Why did michael jackson wear white gloves around young boys? His doctor recommended that he do so due to bad circulation.

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What do an airplane and a strawberry have in common? They can both fly.... Except for the strawberry

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why did javonne choose club getaway madonna wanted to foster

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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? At the bottom.

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What would George Washington do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as it is capable of. Personally depends on the weight of the wood.

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Q:Why did the black man fall down? A: he got hit in the face by a refrigerator

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Why didn't the sperm cell cross the road? It died from the intense heat.

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Why did the man hang himself? Because his pistol misfired.

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Hey do you want to hear the joke about my d**k?? I cant tell it because it's to long

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops