what did rishi say to jess ? GOOD ONE

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Why was the boy late for class? He was late because he got stabbed and left in the bathroom.

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i woke up in the middle of the night and my entire bed was wet... know what i did? i layed a towel down and went back to sleep

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Why is the sky blue? Because bicycles have two tires

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What goes 100 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -George. -George Who? -George Carpenter, Remember? We were in the same class in third grade. -Come on in!

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Cornelius went to the dcotor and got a sticker and a lollipop for being a good patient. He later went home and shoved the lollipop stick up his dick hole and started wildly masturbating. I forgot to mention Cornelius was 42 years old.

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Who was at the door when Helen Keller answered? She doesn't know

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Casey Anthony kills a baby

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Why did the kid fall off his swing? Because his mum threw a fridge at him.

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How many Caucasian American males does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Man 1: Not to be gay or anything, but I really like your shirt, it looks nice on you. Man 2: Not to be gay or anything, but I like men.

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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I think everybody ought to have a penis.

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why is the man laughing. he isn't, he's just been informed he has testicular cancer.

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What did squidward do when SpongeBob asked him to be his friend on Facebook? 1.declined it 2.got a restraining order against him 3.wondered how computer generated cartoon characters could send and decline friend requests

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What did Robin do in between crime fighting? He had a paper route.

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what did the catholic priest say to the little boy? -probably something about god or jesus because they are in church

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Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

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Why did lil yazzy watch The Hills at 12:40 in the morning? Because she was casually surfing netflix and clicked on it.

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What did the brown guy say to the black person when he got fired? Nothing, did you think this was going to be racist or something?!

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why do you throw the baby up the tree??. to get my ball back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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