Did the owl ever reach the middle of the tootsie pop? Yes. Dreams do come true

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Some people like melon and others like soup.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A watermelon doesn't scream when you cut it open.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a prison. They're stopped by a gang. Hey, want to play a game? They answer "No thanks, we died in the last joke."

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Pull my finger. Not right now. I'm watching The Price is Right.

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Imagine a scenario Add a Rhubarb Crumble into your scenario Add your mother and father sitting together watching the news in your scenario. Your scenario should take place in an old people's home Add an Olympic athlete doing the splits into your scenario If there were any crane-flies in your scenario, be sure to subtract them at once. Divide your scenario by two. Your scenario should now be a mental image of flying horses and a hippopotamus eating a large salmon mousse. There will be a pig tied to a pair of sunglasses.

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause it wanted to. Why di the chicken cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the cow's face.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a dead baby joke? Dead baby jokes aren't funny.

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once three middle easterns were walking down the street bomb bomb bomb

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1,984

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Why are Pine trees green? Because light reflects at different wavelengths, and the chlorophyll, found in chloroplasts, being abundant in the needles of pine trees, Reflect the correct wavelength for green.

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KSI

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I guess we will have to see, if I where to one day use my ways of thinking with the intention to become the most corrupt politician of them all, do you think I would succeed?

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Today is jessica's birthday and she is turnig 6 She walks in the living room to tell her dad its her birthday. Jessica"Dad, Dad guess how old i am today!" Dad "How old?" Jessica"6 dad im am 6". she walks into the kitchen to tell her Grandad Jessica" papa papa guess how old i am today" Grandad"Well for me to know this you would have to take of your panties" as he tells her she did as she was told. her grandad fingers her and smells her panties. He tells her "You are 6 today" Jessica"How did you know" Grandad"I listen as you told your dad in the dinning room".

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Joker: Knock knock Batman: Who's there Joker: Not your parents

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have you seen ray charles' house? neither has he.

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What didnt rebecca black do today ride the bus

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Why did the witch ride her broom? Because the vaccum was to heavy...

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Q: Why did the man have aids? A: He had unprotected sex with a man who had aids.

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"Do you know the joke about the No and Me Neither?" "No..." "Me neither."

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What do you call a shop dedicated to selling rap music, watermelons, grape soda and fried chicken? A poor business model

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Roses are Green Violets are Black Everything's different since I took crack

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Why was the little boy screaming? He was going down a steep drop on a roller coaster.

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knock knock come in!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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