One day a black man, a white man, and an Asian man decide to bet on who has the longest penis. The white man wins by 1/18th of an inch, effectively disproving the stereotype. They all go home a little gayer for the experience.

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When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the world, He broke his foot because every human being that kicks such a solid structure would break their foot.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Father Dougal Mcguire

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roses are red, violets are blue, ive no money for presents, happy christmas everybody

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Yes, I'll have the cordon bleu, see voo play.

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Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Teenage pregnancy.

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It's not illegal, it's just frowned upon... like... masterbating on an airplane.

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What did the scientist have to say about religion when he was asked by a local reporter? He said that it is a cultural system that creates powerful and long-lasting meaning, by establishing symbols that relate humanity to truths and values.

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Many people protest. they go home after a few hours

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Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A drum set.

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a blender? A: None. It is a sick and depraved act that is probably illegal anyway.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the city on the other side. He hoped he could find work in one of the city's cheap factories. He needed money for his family: he could not bear to see them slowly starve for any longer. If he could get a lowly-paid job he may be able to just sustain them. But he knew it could not last for long. He would probably die on the streets or in the slums, cold, lonely and starving. But it was a risk worth taking - he could not see his own family waste slowly away like so many of his friends had.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's brown, sticky and crawls up your leg? A homesick poo.

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What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died! Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey!!

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nick walked into macdonalds... everyone stood up and left as they saw the potential danger in the situation.. nick later ended up bieng hit by a bus after chasing a duck

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What did one skeleton say to the other? Nothing... Skeletons don't have vocal cords

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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Q :Why cant mexicans be firemen A :because they get mixed up by Hosea and Hose B

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "No, all days are 24 hours long" the man replies, amazed at how uneducated the bartender is.

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Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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