Dave: Knock, knock Steven: Come in.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

How did the blonde die? She got swallowed whole by a 1,000-foot scorpion.

Where did Susie go during the explosion? On her knees to catch it.

Why were the babies used for target practice? Hitler demanded the Nazis to do so.

Why couldn't sally go on the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there Sally

Knock knock Who's there? Illiteracy.

Who lives with josh moran? A gay asian

Why couldn't the eleven year old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-14 and he was unaccompanied by a mature adult.

What did the homeless child get for Christmas? Jumped.

Why was the black man kicked out of the restaurant? Blatant racism was still very prevalent at that time and place.

how do yopu punish helen keller? Ground her, just like you would with any other child.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? Because she had no legs.

What did the booger say the other booger? "Is he picking on you again"

What's worse then the WNBA? Nickelback.

why did the monkey fall dead out of the tree? because edward cullen raped it up the arse sooo many times it died from internal bleeding.

A man walks into a bar, sits down and the bartender comes over and asks him what he wants to drink. The man replies, "Carrot Juice."

What do you call a 400 pound man eating chocolate? diabetic

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!" The other bar patrons ask him what is wrong, to which he replies, "I stubbed my toe."

There was a man posting an anti-joke... He had no life

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

What do you call a disease caused by an uncontrolled division of abnormal cells in a part of the body? Cancer.

What do you call a retarded black man? His name

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!


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