Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar And doesn't

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Uh, if I say that I am that girl, am I going to be safe?

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RACIST JOKE Why did the racist cross the road? He wanted to get to the other side.

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What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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A blonde, brunette, and a red head were walking on the side of the road and a fridge landed on them and they died. At least they still could go to their funerals.

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So i was thinking of going to japan for spring break. I've heard they have some awesome swells.

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How does a girl with no arms swing on the swing? She doesn't, she has no arms.

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What's grosser than gross? Grosser. What's grosser than that? Grossest.

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How do you piss off a redneck? You wait until he is done fucking his sister and then you steal his truck.

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an asian walks into a bar and does his math homework then he gets raped by a horse

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if you want to see somthing funny, throw a small child imbertween two catholic priests!

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If a rooster lays a brown egg on the south side of an Asian man's roof, which way would I turn at the intersection? Folderol, because laundry has no soul.

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A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

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Hi

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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What did the twin towers get at the pizza place? 2 planes

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a man i knew who was a real jerk was about to drive home drunk. i was trying to stop him, but then he punched me in the face. i let him through. he died that night. i texted him all the way

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Why was the family sad? Their house burnt down.

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Why did Muhammad pray to Jesus? Because he has low self esteem and didn't believe in himself.

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If Michael Jackson were alive today, what would he be doing? Scratching at the top of his coffin.

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whats black and white and red all over? this joke.

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Surprise mother father (A+)

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What did the headless man say? Nothing. The man can't speak because he doesn't have a head.

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How many people with Alzheimers does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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