What do you call a black man that works with out pay? A volunteer

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A dog walks into a bar and the bartender gives him a bowl of water because it is hot outside and he doesn't want the dog to dehydrate because he could die.

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You suck big fat slobber

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What did the white man say to the black bartender? I'll have a pint please.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Thats impossible because he cannot walk.

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What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Unless it's muscular dystrophy.

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You: Mike and Steve were playing chess, who won? Them: Mike You: no, it was steve

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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A Jew, a Mexican, and a Black guy all walk into a bar. Bartender says: "Get the f*ck out."

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Q: "How does a monkey hide in a jungle?", A:"Paint its balls red and sit in a cherry tree" , Q:"What is the loudest noise in the jungle?", A: "A native picking cherries"

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What do you call a purple chicken eating a bicycle? A purple chicken eating a bicycle

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, go ask the chicken.

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What did the baby said to her mother? Nothing because she aborted him

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How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizza is not a group of people but in fact a dish originating in the Middle East.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves the bar slightly intoxicated.

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What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

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Why couldn't the bird fly? cause it was a penguin

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the house. knock knock. who's there? the chicken!

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Three guys at the beach decided to bet on who could swim the farthest. The first guy, could not swim so he lost. The second guy got a cramp right away. The third one swam far away into the distance, and was not seen or heard on for days... Three weeks later his corpse was found floating by the shore. The other two died out of guilt.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Europe Europe who? No, I'm not, you're a poo!

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause it wanted to. Why di the chicken cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the cow's face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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