Why did the cow go over the hill? He didn't. He was pinned and slaughtered in a private owned animal torture facility.

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Knock knock. Who's there? To. To who? To whom.

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Why did Billy start a fire? Because he was cold.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender lights him on fire.

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Why did the Indian cross the road? Trail of Tears.

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Why was the math book crying? Three men just brutally raped his wife.

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some magicians can walk on water, Chuck norris can swim in water, faster than the average man.

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what happened to the christian when he died? nothing because god isnt real.

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What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

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Two black guys run into a bank with guns. They place them in their pre-payed safety deposit boxes and continue on their way as they were falling behind on their schedule.

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Why was the chicken sad because it lost it's family

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Why did the girl drown? She had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

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when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. when life gives you melons, you are soon diagnosed with dyslexia.

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Colon Right Parentheses For all of the confused people out there that's :)

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Why doesnt the chicken wear any pants? His pecker is on his head

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So theres a man, a horse, and a piglet in a helicopter. Upon noticing this, the pilot jumps out of the plane and the animals go crashing to their doom.

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What did the man say when he lost his phone? Answer: I lost my phone!!

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How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? None, any dog aware of the situation would kindly inform its owner.

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What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

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Why is Henrik so AWESOME? Cos HE just IS!!!!

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What's big and gray and can't climb a tree? A parking lot.

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What is purple and rhymes with apple? Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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