you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

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Man walks into an apple store. Shortly after he leaves with a fully charged phone.

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A woman went for a midnight jog. She's been missing for 12 years now.

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Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.

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Yo momma is so fat tat people yell TAXI, TAXI when she wears yellow.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hello Carolina, let me lick your vagina.

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

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one morning i turned on my tv

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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Why did the blond woman sell her water skis? She was in a horrible accident and will never walk again.

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why was the little boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape his burning car wreck.

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there once was a man from Afghanistan. Who wanted to bang his brother-istan. they licked and sucked. and kissed then f**ked, he got aids. and never did that-again!

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what starts with F and ends with ead? Fred was walking to school one day when he heard a strange noise in a tree. He walked up to the tree, looked up, and saw a cat. Fred was late for class, so he decided to go to school and help the cat out after school. Eight hours later, Fred came up to the tree and looked up to see if the cat was there. It wasn't. The cat was lying next to the tree, dead.

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Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? You can't unload one with a pitchfork

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R.I.P. Steve Jobs

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What do you cal it when a black person gets married to a white person inner racial marriage

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Why couldn't the blond get into the library? Because the library was closed therefore the door was locked.

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Knock, knock Who's there? The electrician And about bloody time too, you'd better come in.

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Hahaahahahahahahaahahahahahaahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahaahahah :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I screw with you Hahahahahahahahahaahaggahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahah

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A: I slept in your mums bed last night. B: don't care dad

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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What is the difference between a dead baby in a blender and a rock? There are many differences. One of them is the fact that I don't masturbate to a rock.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a short term memory Roses are red

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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