Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

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What did the boy say 9+9 was? The Holocaust

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What does D.N.A. stand for? Deoxyribonucleic Acid

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How much cocaine has Charlie Sheen done? enough to put your health at risk

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A bear walks into a bar. The building is evacuated swiftly but several people are killed

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A man walks into a bar, muttering to himself. People stare at him because his severe Schizophrenia makes him stand out in social situations.

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How many pairings of animals did Moses collect before the rain started? 1. 500 2. 50000 3. 500000000 4. Nobody really knows 5. It was Noah... Moral: Lol.

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whats worst then antijokes? the holocaust

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I LOVE MASTURBAITING ALL DAY!!!!

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Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road? Because they are extinct and roads did not exist when they were alive.

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what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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this is not a joke.

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Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

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How do you stop an alcoholic from drinking ? You leave him in the desert for 4 days, eventually he'll die from dehydration .

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If an anti joke is told, and it is about an aunty is it an aunty anti joke? Adolf Hitler.

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An ordinary man, much like your friend Brad from that one place where you used to hang out, was walking along one night, much like that night last week, and saw a star. He then wished upon that star...and kept walking.

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A woman walks into a bar.

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What do get when you mix cancer and a bike? Lance Armstrong

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Bob dole

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What's mean to black people? The economy. But, I forgot to mention that it's not nice to whites, hispanics, asians or anyone else.

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What did Helen Keller name her children? Nothing, since she didn't have any.

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Why did the Korean shoot the dog? Unfortunately, the dog was suffering from a severe mental trauma it had sustained when it by got hit by a car. This caused the dog to be extremely aggressive and it ruthlessly attacked a 5-year old girl playing in the street. The Korean who was coming home from a day out hunting in the woods saw the girl and shot the dog from long range to save the girl's life. The man was later thanked by the girl's family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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