Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What do you get when you throw a piece of bread in the oven? A: 6 million Jews

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Bariande: I have a belly button Kraken: haha who doesnt? MissAwkward: i dont Barinade: neither do i. haha this happened on tiny chat.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do a comb and a guitar have in common? Neither of them can climb trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Justin Littleton getting laid.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What black and white and red all over? A panther I was lying about the red and white.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Yo mama's so fat, she weighs over 400 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not intelligent enough to realize the hazardous dangers of crossing the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Hey, i just met you. And this is crazy! But im on bathsalts ! *GAUH* Your face looks tasty!! :D

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't go to you anyways.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

The Bible

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the robber wear a mask? Because he had eczema.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats black and has no ring? LeBron James

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Your dad is so abusive that he hurts you when he losses his temper

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A priest, a rabbi, and a baleen whale walk into a bar. The priest says, "Well I believe Jesus Christ is the only begotten son of God and my lord and savior, so I'll have some communion wine." The rabbi says, "Well I don't believe the messiah has yet walked the earth, so I'll have Manischewitz wine." The baleen whale says "EEEEEEOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNHHHHHHHHHH"

thumb_up thumb_down +275

what did the downsindrome get for christmas?? A: Aids and a Dead wife

thumb_up thumb_down -56

men, men like men= men+bed

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Yo mama so fat, that she feels uncomfortable in a bathing suit.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the fireman go to the police station? He didn't go to the police station, he went to the fire station.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The shark replies i dont have cancer just a terrible drinking problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How did the dog die? It was wet because of the rain so the little boy put him in the microwave for 30 minutes to warm him up

thumb_up thumb_down -26

You thought i'd be telling you a joke. Turns out im not.. !! haha

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops