What did the child say after the priest touched him? Thank you for the ashes Father, have a blessed Lenten season.

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What did the college kids drink at the party? Soda. Alcohol is illegal for people under the age of 21 to consume.

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a man and his son pull up out side b&q and the man says to his son run in there and get me a black n decker and the boy goes in and is standing in the power tools isle and he looks round and there is a lady standing next to him so he hit her, the woman happened to be black and 2 minutes later a security guard rushes round and says son what did u do that for and the son said my dad told me to come in and get a black n decker!

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hi im bob i ate a Pickle sucked a boob and died of a haert atak

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did you know the leading cause of funerals is death?

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Smith.

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What comes after 69? 70

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Why can't a T-Rex clap? Because they're extinct

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A haiku for you Would not provide enough space To say all the nice

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How do you kill a black man? You cn coz he'll beat you up first

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Why do black people drink cool-aid? Because it tastes good.

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What do you call someone with no legs? whatever their name is, physical appearance should have no bearing on someones title.

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eh

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So a moose walks into a grocery store and asks the clerk, who is a penguin, "Where's the bread?" And the penguin says "On isle three!" But, when the moose gets to isle three... The bread isn't there!

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The iPhone5. It's kinda Gay

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Why do so many black people like watermelon? The same reason so many white people, do. Have you had that stuff, it's really good!

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Tom Tom who? Tom Pearson? Oh Tom, I wasn’t expecting you til 3pm, please come in.

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What is worse than getting stung by 1,000 bees? Getting stung by 1,001 bees.

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emma brown i did tap that shit -jackson edwards

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How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

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Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

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Why did the lemon eat salt? I DON'T KNOW!!

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whats big red and eats bricks a big red brick eater

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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