Neil is a reterd.

why did the chicken cross the road? because colonel sanders was chasing it with an axe

How did the baby die? In a very sad and tragic car accident.

What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

a homeless man walks into a bar, the bartender and patrons treat him nicely, and sympathize for his current situation.

how did the little girl die cancer

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer what did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that long.

Moby Stick, the Great White Twig

Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

Why did Jimmy drop his Ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

A man walks into a bar. Ouch

HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

What's worse than stepping on a piece of gum? A clown following you around all day throwing toothbrushes at you. ___ Zertop™

Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A hurt animal that should promtly be taken to the RSPCA for surgery.

What did the Wind say to the Window? (Insert Racist punchline here)

Q.what do you call a dead baby? A. a dead baby

I have a joke. Okay, tell me. Just kidding

Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense, Refrigerator Sex

Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk! Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

A man is driving down a back country road in an old beat up car going 30 mph when he notices a black horse and a white horse keeping pace with him. They keep up with him for a few miles before passing him and turning into a farm on the road. The man is quite impressed with the horses speed and follows them to the farmer and offers the farmer living there the horses in exchange for the car. The farmer says the horses are bad luck but accepts the trade, and the man walks off with the horses. The man then enters the horses in a big horse race and puts a lot of money on them. The horses immediately take the lead and are about to finish the race when the black horse trips and the white horse goes back to pick him up and end up losing. The man is furious and returns the horses to the farmer and gets his car back. The next day another man is driving in a nicer car down the same road going 50 mph when the black horse and the white horse run right past his car. Impressed with the horses speed the man trades his car to the farmer who warns him about the horses. Ignoring the farmer's warning the man enters the horses in a new race. The horses once again take the lead and are close to finishing first and second when the black horse trips and the white horse goes and picks him up again once again losing their lead. The man angrily returns the horses in exchange for his car. The next day a third man drives down the same road in a brand new sports car. While he's testing the limits of the car the horses catch up to him and run with him. Surprised by the speed of the horses the man speeds up in his car but the horses manage to keep up. The horses eventually run past the man and turn into their farm, and the man looks down and realizes that the horses had been running faster than 120 mph. The man goes to the farmer and offers his car in exchange for the horses. The farmer accepts but gives the man the same warning he gave the two men earlier. The new man just like the other two men ignores the warning and enters the horses into a race and bets a lot of money on them. This time the horse take the lead out of the gate but feet from the finish line the white horse trips and falls. The black horse seeing this goes back and helps him up once again losing the race. The man is disgusted and releases the horses into the city in hopes that they'll die out there. The two horses are wander into a bar, and the bartender looks at them and says: "hey you two why the long face?"

hi

Chuck Norris died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...