SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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What did the girl say to the guy who poked her on Facebook? You poked me.

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why did road cross the chicken Niggers love chicken.

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how did the girl die? she read all of your terrible anti-jokes.

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Q: What genre is the bible? A: Si-fi

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whats 2+2? 69 LOL

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I once was an adventurer like you. But then I quit.

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A piece of wood walks into a bonfire. Wood can't walk.

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why did the baby cross the road...? cause he was chained to my bumper

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Why does the Batman theme song have 'na na na na na na na na' in it so many times? I guess Batman really likes sodium. Or maybe his record player's broken.

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I think I am done here friend, it always comes to this, it has always been easier for me to repair whatever is wrong with others and get my kicks out of that, as I know I can and will repair everything wrong with myself, but its hard as hell, I mean I never give up, ever. But that does not change the fact that I am broken, and that simply deciding that I am not, is far from enough, its a choice indeed, but its like deciding to constantly walk trough hell, and sometimes that hell is also called living, that too is always a choice, And believe me, I would never quit, I guess that if this hell I struggle trough has so many nice things in it, it just feels like hell at times. I mean the main motivation behind my ability to help others, has always been searching for answers low and high, and when what I have learned trough life helps others, but barely scratches the surface of the armor I am confined within, I lose hope, do you believe that my desire to help humanity grow, derived from my own incompetence at curing myself?

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A horse walks into a bar. He was blind.

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wife: why are women's feet smaller husband: so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink

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a kangaroo walks in to a bar and sits down. Kangaroo's live in Auustralia

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Knock Knock ! Who's there? Jim. Oh come in.

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There is more than one way to skin a cat. I used a potato skin peeler.

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why did the women cross the road? she didnt, theres no road in the kitchen.

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What is the differnce between a baby and a watermelon??? One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon

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Why did peter fall off his bike? Because Peter is a goldfish.

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How do you give a cold sore to catnip? Because he needed lemon juice

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what did the blonde mail to her boyfriend? nothing, blonde's can't write.

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How did the two friends cross the busy road? They couldn't, because that would be considered jay-walking

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Why didn't the cat eat its dinner? Because I nailed its head to the floor.

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guess what the quarterback did he threw the ball!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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