- Anti Joke

Mac, or Big Jim, as his friends call him, follows the same routine that he has every day for the last several years. His days are always typical and very rarely differ or have any excitement thrown in the mix. It usually starts off by him waking up next to his wife, whom was always giving off a potent and delightful smell. This happens because she has a certain shampoo that makes her much more pleasant-smelling than the normal person, especially as she sleeps. So Big Jim then takes his pillow and throws it at her head. She usually wakes up thinking that he is trying to be a nuisance because of that, even though what follows next has happened every single time for the last few years. He continues to lightly hit her with the pillow until she, in a delightful flurry of feathers, begins to strike back. After a fun and good-looking pillow fight, he then proceeds to the bathroom to urinate and then wash his hands. After this, he then brushes his teeth and gets dressed. He goes to work and is encouraged by his boss every day for his astonishing effort and is then threatened to be promoted if it improves any more by the end of the month. He is always being encouraged by his boss because he does as much as he can do at the Woman's Abuse Shelter. He cares. But, at the end of the month he is never promoted because he threatens to take his boss's daughter out for ice cream - of whom he has fresh photos of her most recent farting accident as proof of his promise. His boss found this quite creepy and inappropriate. Normally, someone would go to the police, especially when there is photographic evidence, but the police chief is too busy to join them for ice cream and the only detective in their small town moved away four months ago. This caused a problem because the ice cream was never disposed of since the only ice cream man died one day prior due to old age. He was 79 at the time and well-loved by the community. After work, Big Jim then went home and his wife hugged him with delight. After dinner with his wife, Big Jim went to bed and had a good night's sleep.

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

A jew walks into an Oven....

A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

If god gives you lemons You find a new god.

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am a dog.

whats worse than 2 people dying? 3 people dying.

There was an American, Mexican, and a Chineese man, they were all on a plane about to crash. They all threw off the plane somthing they had a lot of in their country before they died. the mexican sacraficed tacos. the chineese sacraficed noodles. and the american picked up the mexican and chineese and was about to throw them off beacause he had too many of them in their country but then he came to relization that a community with biodiversity is an important factor in life today. i mean, someones gonna have to mow the lawn?

What do you give a small child when you don't have any candy? Nothing, you just kidnap them.

Q: Why do Indians smell? A: Cause they have noses? Racist.

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

What did the fly say to the frog? Nothing, insects can't talk.

What's red and smells like green paint? The rotting corpse of the old lady I poisoned with green paint.

say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

Why did the blonde walk into the bar? To get a beer.

"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Interrupting kid with ADHD" I did not respond, as I knew he would interrupt me before I was able to finish the sentence.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? answer: Where's my tractor?

why did the woman cross the road? to get to her full time job as a lawyer.

So yesterday I went to find a pair of camo pants, And I did

Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so there i must be a pig

a homeless man walks into a bar, the bartender and patrons treat him nicely, and sympathize for his current situation.

What happend to the gay kid that walked into iran. He got shot and killed ????

One night, a man was bitten by Dracula. The first thing to come out of his mouth was "Joke's on you, I have AIDS!" Then proceeded to laugh hysterically until Dracula snapped his neck

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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