A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what is green and has weels? grass i was kidding about the weels.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

thumb_up thumb_down -7

if Ruddell was gay what would he be? A gay prick!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Ask if I'm a aardvark. Are you a aardvark? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's the one game that black people are good at? Flashlight tag.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the little girl get a haircut? A; she has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the chilean guy told to the other chilean guy? Hola!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was a white man mowing his lawn ? The lawn was getting undesirably long which provoked the white man.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A horse walks into a bar, the barman says why the long face, the horse says, my dad died this morning.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the bacon say to Sam's eggs? Why are you green?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Something told me to write "vote pancakes" so I wrote "Vote Pancakes" it said it was wrong, and now I know why, capitals.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats worse than eating a worm? Haveing a worm die in your penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

roses are green violets are red im shooting heroine into my head

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Boy it's sure cold out today. Die

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red Violets are blue Theres a crazy ass alpaca ready to take a shit on you

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Three fish swim into a bar. The first one says "blub blub blub". The second one says "blub blub blub". The third one says "I'm not a fish I'm a human". What does the bartender say? Answer = Ayy Llmao _George_Bush_

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What time is it? 20:45.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

roses are grey violets are grey i am a dog woof woof

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will cause me to develop a drinking problem.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops