Obama enters a KKK meeting Obama: Oh sorry I thought this was the Kentucky Fried Chicken... the font was so small so... as he starts backing off scared... KKK: leader, of course Mr.President, feel free to come again anytime! Moral: Kings Knocking Ketchup is actually a nice place if you not unlike me enjoy ketchup...

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

10 kids are on a bus. It's just a normal bus, it takes the kids to school and lets them off.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

who likes fried chicken? almost everyone because fried chicken is delicious

thumb_up thumb_down +7

roses are red, violets are blue, my name is dave, this makes no sense microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the blonde put tip-ex on the computer screen? To spite her physically abusive husband

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what do call a large massacre of 1000000 people? a tragedy

thumb_up thumb_down -15

how did the farmer die? his dog shot him

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Where did the taxi driver put his suitcase down? celery

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than being short? Being a Tutsi in 1994.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

according to the ewspickle, it is Dumbledore's favorite food.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why are you worrying about the chicken? You just got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Last night I had a lovely chicken burger I had no mayo left so had to make do with coleslaw but enjoyed it anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

jibby jobby

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you get when an Alabama and an LSU kid are mixed?A small child who grows up in a world of fighting and domestic violence.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why didn't the blonde go to the party? Her depression finally got the best of her and she shot herself

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

thumb_up thumb_down +17

XD, Okay, but you gotta marry me too XD Its working again I am skipping class tonight, how about you come by uh, the day after tomorrow? And bring condoms I don't have any.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the jew say to the black man? I'm jewish

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A boy spelled the word "banana" wrong on a spelling test... Points were deducted.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you get clean dishes? You wash them.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats the same between a baby and pizza? their both edible

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops