What did the man before he was executed? Nothing. He was already executed before he said something.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Banana you glad I didn't say 'Orange?'"

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Q. How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? A. That obviously depends on the size of the bathtub and each individual infant.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem doesn't make sense Potato

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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What did the man with tourettes yell on an airplane? He yelled bomb, and was gunned down by 2 federal marshals, one of which's stray bullets happened to hit a small child with autism.

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So I was making this bagel right?And my dad walks in while I'm making this bagel(cause we're in a rush you know?) and he's yells"HURRY UP!!!!"I'm like man.... I sure do got alot of YELL in my bagel .

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What is worse than a bus falling on you? A bus with Mama June inside it falling on you.

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What's better than sex? I have never had sex and, therefor, do not have adequate knowledge of the experience enough to make a comparison to other experiences. You should ask someone who has had sex.

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What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall? Nothing. Fish cannot speak

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Your mother is so fat that she is considered morbidly obese. In fact, she should seriously consider a weight loss diet to reduce her risk of heart disease and diabetes.

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there was a little girl walking through a park. then she was kidnapped and most likely raped and sold to a foreign country.

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How do u know someones running? They leave this????behind

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What do you say to the man with lopsided balls? I am terribly sorry, your condition has most certainly left you socially alienated and confused.

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What is it too late to do? Apologize...

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What number comes after 29? 30.

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Q:When a T- Rex walks into your house what does it mean? A: Your on pot, T-rex's are extinct

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My dick

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How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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Yo mama so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops. tom halls mum

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Why was Sally rolling in the grass? She was on fire.

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What's worse than the haulocost? Not much.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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