Why does Michael J. Fox always have his martinis shaken? He thinks they taste better that way.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Hey, wanna hear a penis joke? Nevermind, it's too long.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats worse than three dead women in a ditch ? 4 dead women in a ditch.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the african american ninja say to the jewish bartender? Can I have a beer?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man and a woman are alone, the man holds her down and says I'm going to rape you! The woman replies I'm not into that and leaves unharmed

thumb_up thumb_down -33

So two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter on the street? A very nice man because a homeless man just dropped that and he was trying to return it. Rob W

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A horse walks into a bar and begins to moo. Everyone is confused until it takes off its costume and reveals it's just a cow.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Im going to the patriots jets game this year..... When the kick a feild goal and you see two kids wearing lime green holding up a poster that says BRADY LIKES SAGGY BALLS that will be me and my friend -RT

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the meme cross the road? MEME XD

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you say to a black man in the morning? Good morning

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There's a black and a mexican guy in a car. Who's driving? The chauffeur.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what does a horny frog say RUBIT RUBIT

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Susan went to Chemistry class, Susan is no more. For what she thought was H20 was H2S04 (sulfuric acid.)

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball. Super Monkey Ball who? No wonder it's super.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the girl fall of the swing because she was pushed of by obama

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is the difference between Jews and the boyscouts? The boyscouts come home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do a large mouth bass and my wife have in common? They are both in the Animal kingdom, both are vertebrates and they share many other traits such as eyes, a notochord, and epaxial/hypaxial musculature.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Wow, fuzzy feelings, you just made my top 10.000 friends list. Jk, you my favorite girl right now, I mean my wife is always my favorite, but the kind of love I feel for you, is a completely different kind of love, I consider it the sum of who you are, and I cant say I love you the same, because it is a completely different feeling. Wow, I cant believe I am typing this on horsehead network, by the way Red, you better get out of here, or I am going to have to shut your operations down, sorry for getting serious in the middle of this, but we can meet and be friends, if you promise to take good care of my new friend (you), but getting out of this site, you and your crew. So, sex whenver you feel like and friends for life? How does that sound? I prefer long term agreements.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: How do you shoot blue flames from your hands? A: You start to duck and lean forward quickly before you fully reach to duck as you punch as hard as you can, a blue flame should come out as Japanese bullshit automatically spews out of your mouth. It should not take more than a try or two...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I wouldn't consider the Titanic sinking to be a disaster, ????It is better down where it is wetter under the sea! ????.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between a Mustang and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops