When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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What do you do in a one night stand? Stand all night long.

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A man walks into the bar and ask the bartender for a shot of vodka. He drinks the vodka.

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Why doesn't superman eat peanuts? Because he doesn't like them.

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Do you know what's impossible? A chink whos not smart.

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The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Knock knock Who's there Santa who santa hates you and that is why you got nothing for Christmastime

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why do mexicans get made fun of

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Q: What is soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

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Brian: farts RJ: Who farted? Brian: Idk Why? Rj: Smells like sweet ass back here

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Why did Benjamin Franklin go to the movies? Dim message, sapi message=InputBox("Find Out","Why did Benjamin Franklin Go To the Movies?") Set sapi=CreateObject("sapi.spvoice") sapi.Speak message

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being unaware of his surroundings, the chicken was startled by an oncoming motor vehicle. Due to the animals vapid logic an reasoning, based on impulse it quickly ran to the other side of the street to avoid its imminent death by the speeding automobile. Unknowingly, the chicken had reached the other side of the road,

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Did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off, how is he? Well you see, the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off...He's dead. I..um..he's straight up dead. I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell ya.

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Q.what is the diffrence between a jew and a pizza A.pizzas dont scream in the oven

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Q-how did the blind man cross the road? A-with a guide dog

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A nuclear device is dropped on hiroshima. Does it make a sound? The answer is yes because the americans are laughing in Enola Gay

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Whats the Twin Towers least favourite movie? Here Comes the Boom.

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Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

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Q - What do you call a hamburger without pickles? A - You call it a hamburger just without the pickles.

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I tried frying some fish today, and it started sizzling at me. I took it as a direct threat and started yelling at the stove. Eventually it stopped and dinner was ruined, but I was proud of myself for winning.

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Harry Chappell raped someone

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Why did samba hurt her head? Because she fell out of her mum muff

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Whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout boy scouts come back from camp

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Why did the black guy get kicked out of the bar? He was riding a jack hammer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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