What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Alec cross the road? He didn't, he was hit by an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you make a Jew cry? You kill all of their friends and family members.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

17

thumb_up thumb_down

A black man went on the bus and sat down next to a white man. The white man looked up from his magazine and stared at the black man. They then chit-chatted and enjoyed their trip.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

whats green white black red and can fly? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: what is the difference between a baby stroller and a black man. A: I don't try and hit black men when they cross the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why am I telling you this joke? Because I entered the following, agreed to the Terms of Service, and clicked "submit".

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the Black man cross the road? To get to Pop-Eye's since KFC is too expensive nowadays. HELL-YA

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Whats the difference between a cat and a dog? Nothing a cat and a dog is an extremely different species.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I don't know which one is emptier my bank account or my love life

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Three kids were waiting in line at a camp. One said how long is the wait. The other two said i hope its long. They were waiting in line for the gas chambers at auchwitz

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How are friends like bananas? If you peel off their skin and eat them, they die.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why does osama bin ladens death make me happy? because he was the leader of alkida and created many threats to the u.s. thus the death is ending this creating more freedom. (OSAMA LIKES PENIS!!)

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what happened to the man who walked into a bar he slipped from the bar of soap and died

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Yo mama is so fat that she is in a diet and wants to lose weight by eating healthy.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the man fall off the cliff? I pushed him????????

thumb_up thumb_down -4

nock nock who's there i eat mop i eat mop ho i didn't know you eat your poo. the wedding is off and go **** yourself in a hole!!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I came up with one when my friend Sam told me the fortune from her Jone's Soda. A change of heart may lead to a new living environment, a change of heart may also lead to death.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? Megan Fox is alive

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats similar about an elephant and a plum? Theyre both gray, except for the plum

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops