A black man walks into a bar with a parot on his shoulder. The bartender says "Hey you can't bring that in here!" The Parot replies "Sorry i'll have him wait outside."

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Roses are Red, Violets are blue Did you think I'd actually cry over you? I said I loved you You believed it was true Well guess what baby You just got played too! ??????

thumb_up thumb_down -17

your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Opinions are like assholes, neither one can ride a bike, except for the assholes

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he does what he wants.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

baby seal walks into a club

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the boy not answer his mums call? because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +2

It’s dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's worse than seven babies in a trashcan? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

If your canoe is stuck in a tree, in the middle of august, with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? A: None, snakes dont have armpits :D

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What happened when the boys visited Penn State? They got toured around campus and decided that it would be their future college.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man runs into a house and unloads a round of bullets killing 2 people in the kitchen. He wins Search and Destroy for his team at Nuketown.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock Knock (No response) Knock knock (No response)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How can you tell if someone is a Mexican? Ask them politely if they're Mexican

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats the worst part of having a Birthday on Feb. 29th? You only get facebook birthday wishes every 4 years.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

roses are red violets are blue you think shes hot? how BLIND are you?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the bartender say to the man? can i have a beer if you dont get it the bartender asked the customer for a beer

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the cow eat a computer? Why? Who knows

thumb_up thumb_down

There are 500 bricks on an airplane. If you drop one out, how many are left? 499. There are three steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator. What are they? Open the fridge, put the elephant in, close the fridge. There are four steps to putting a deer in the fridge. What are they? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the deer in, close the fridge. The Lion King is having a birthday party. All the animals are there but one. Why is that? The deer is in the fridge. A woman wants to cross an alligator infested swamp. How does she do it? She crosses normally because the alligators are at the Lion King's party. She dies anyways. Why? She gets hit in the head with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +439

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops