The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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What's worse than forgetting how to spell? asghasonbma.

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If you dumb fooks keep swearing we are going to get banned.

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What did the lonely old man get on valentines day? Nothing, because his wife died of cancer two years ago.

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There once was a man from Nantucket... Who was fiscally responsible.

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what is the different between a prostitute and your wife one is on contract and the other pay as you go

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Try saying "Good Eye Might" without sounding Australian.

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heres a great game to play... DEATH TO BABIES!

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What did rangler get on anti joke? Thumbs down.

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Whats long hard and has seaman? A submarine!

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Penis.

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a naked man walks into a bar the police arrived 10 minutes

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... and so the rabbi says "Don't worry. It was a kosher pickle anyway."

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How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

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Why did the orange put on the sun block? Because it was afraid of turning into a TAN-gerine!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Never mind, it's just an imaginary door anyway.

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what did the women with no arms and legs say to her daughter? go to your room.

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Jackson gets a new phone he drops it what does he have. (a beating )

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Your mother is so fat that when she steps on a scale it shows her a weight that she is not very satisfied with

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Why did the old man wander into the highway? He hated his life.

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What's 1+1? 4.

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How do you drown a blonde? Tie a cinderblock to her foot and throw her in water.

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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