How do you know if there is a monster under your bed? Monsters are mythical creatures that, even if they were real, would be unlikely to sleep under a child-sized bed.

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I used to fit trough doors, but then I got tall... I used to play with other babies, but then I got tall... (daradadadadan) I used to look up to you, but then I got tall (OH YEAH!) but then I got tall, but then I got tall, but then I got tall! Moral: Censorship should be illegal.

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

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I'm gonna say something that is going to blow you(away). My Rape Dungeon has carpet.

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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Why is Finnish taxi driver smiling while driving? He's happy.

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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What happens when you give a Parrot a pack of cigarettes? Animal Rights Activists get upset and condemn your actions.

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Christopher Walken steps into a bar.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Banana. Go away.

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Did you hear about the man with the bicycle? He was 2 tired.

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A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

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What do you get when you run from Long Island to New Mexico? Tired.

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A: Ask me if I am an Orange. B: "Are you an Orange?" A: No.

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SpiderMan, under that mask and your superhero clothes who are You really? Under these clothes, I...Am.... naked

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I read a haiku. It was honestly quite good. That's basically it.

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What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

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So a guy comes into a bar... And he is cited for public indecency.

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I like my wine like I like my women. Not at all.

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What Did The Boy With No Arms Or Legs Get For Christmas? Cancer.

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what do you call a black man on the moon? Kid Cudi

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what did one elephant say to the other one? nothing silly elepehants dont talk

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Why'd the Squirrel fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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