How do you hold someone in suspense?

I don't know about anybody else, but I just watched a part of a My Little Pony episode, and there's something about them that makes you want to come back and watch more. It's wierd, like mind control. Has anyone noticed this?

Kim Jong Un thinks that he is in shape. And when you think about it, he's right. Round is a shape.

Q. What do you call a black priest? A. Holy Shit

knock knock 'who's there?' 'just open the door'

What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

When life gives you a hamburger, you know you're at Mr. Life's Hamburger Stand on 8th Avenue.

alert("The Game");

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? That she should train harder for her next boxing match, or find a less physically demanding hobby to partake in.

A man went into a bakers to buy a loaf of bread. The baker said 'What can i do for you sir?' The man said 'Id like a loaf of blue bread please.' Baker replied 'Sorry sir we only sell brown or white here.' 'Thats ok.' said the man, 'I have my bike outside.' [This joke was made up by myself and my school friends in 1975 age 15. We all told it for years - i still do - and cried with laughter whenever we heard it. We called them non jokes :-) ]

What's worse than a worm in your apple That one time I rapped and killed your mom, oh and happy birthday prick

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting eaten alive by midgets with down syndrome

Why is the beach always so angry? The beach is just sand and waves and lacks sentience, but makes up for it in crabs.

Q: Why did the koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

Q: What do you call a nun in a wheelchair A: Handicapped.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, he was hit by a car. I lied about him crossing the road.

Question: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Answer: Being raped by a giant scorpion.

You cannot invite, hire people for money and expect loyalty Red, you need to make them earn the right to work for you, merits, background checks, consistency, friend, I can help you with a lot of my own experience, what saddens me about you being the leader, is that you have a good heart. And you are naive, a dangerous combination, if anyone such as Jonas shows up again, your life may be in danger, I mean you know who I am talking about.

did you know helen keller had a dog? neither did she....

If you're riding on a jet ski and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to cover a car? Blue. Because Ice cream doesn't have any bones.

A homeless person dies.

2 black people and a mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The black person because they decided it would save gas if they all carpooled to their job.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? .....Neither have they.

what happens when u mix a car, a blimp and a plane? I don't know.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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