Why did the pirate get kicked out of the pirate movie? He killed 7 people while looking for treasure under the seats.

People are like cats, they both die when they're suffocated

69

Why didn't little Billy's parents get him the new toy he wanted? Little Billy's parents are dead.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

Why is the Asian 2nd grader sad? Her best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has 3 weeks to live.

rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

A White guy invites his Black friends into his house, he says "Make yourself at home." THEY DO

Did you hear about the eskimo and the pregnant lady? The eskimo got the pregnant lady pregnant.

Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

Your mother's so fat that when she goes through rotating doors, the doors rotate around her.

tobi packs fudge+parkers gay-sami

roses are scarce, violets are farse, come over here and i'll stick it up ya ar#e.

What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

Knock, knock -The door's open.

What did Little Jimmie say to his mom when he got home frome school? Nothing his moms dead.

A black man killed someone

5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. one fell off and bumped his head. momma called the doctor and the doctor said "your son is now a vegetable. he can no longer use his brain for things such as moving, talking, or eating. you are going to have to take care of him for the rest of his life. it is also going to be a burden on you and your husband because taking care of someone in this condition is very expensive, and could end up costing thousands of dollars each year."

Get off my porch.

Q: What did the guy with glasses say to the guy without glasses? A: Dude your not wearing glasses.

I met a fat girl and fucked her on an elevator. . . It was wrong on so many levels.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? The Big Bang. -BG_Shank_A

One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

Your mom is so fat that she should watch her weight and maintain a healthy diet.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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