What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

What rhymes with orange? Somalia.

What's black and white and red all over? Two nuns in a chainsaw fight.

Just want to know where I will be dipping my... MANFLESH!

You're momma is so dumb, she has troubles passing her math unit and should seriously consider a math touter

Whats eight feet tall, purple, smooth, delicious, uses proper grammar, and likes dolphins. I don't know.

Why do showers in Germany have 11 holes? Because a regular human on has 10 fingers.

What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

Kelly Clarkson

Q: Wgat did Batman say to Robin before Robin got in the car? A: "Robin, get in the car"

knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

Why did the racecar driver lose his driver's license? He crashed into an orphanage.

What do you call a man with no legs? Disabled.

How do you keep an extraordinary magician from performing his show? Replace his shampoo with battery acid

A 10 year old underpriveledged boy goes to the second mile camp and meets his new counselor: Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky. The two bond very much and talk a lot. Sandusky invites the boy back to the locker room to shower because the boy got muddy. The boy takes a shower, gets clean, and goes back to his cabin. The boy has a great time at the camp and goes home.

Roses are red violets are blue... Only not really. Actually light is reflected off them and these colors show up soo....

What do you call it when the sh*t hits the fan? The sh*t hits the fan.

Doctor: I bring grave news. Your wife is dying. She won't survive for another 100 years. Concerned and anguished Husband: Oh... that's ok! Doctor: Oh did I say years? I meant days! Oh the mirth! *The doctor breaks down into hysterical laughter, which the Concerned and Anguished Husband is furious to see, as the Doctor is taking delight out of such a grave situation.

hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

Q- what do you call a Jew swimming in the Antarctic? A- Dead, any man wouldn't survive swimming in water that cold

Why was the woman convicted or arson? She set her house on fire. Why did she set her house on fire? Her husband was beating her.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia......

A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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