Why was the frog sad? Because he had a boy's face stapled to his feet.

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what would Michael jakson do if he was alive? scream and hit the top of his coffin

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Beans beans, they're good for your heart, the more you eat the less at risk you become to such health problems as diabetes and heart attacks. The increased carbohydrates and antioxidant properties maintain a manageable balance for the body's digestive system to maintain a good constant internal environment.

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Whats worse than getting raped by jack the ripper? Getting fingered by captain hook.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was stressed & having alot of financial, mental and physical problems so he crossed the road in hope to kill himself. And he did he got ran over by a car, may his soul rest in peace.

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whats the difference between an orange and a bicycle? One has handlebars..the other one doesnt.

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: He was in one tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over to warn everybody in the other tower and while he was in the other tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on that park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich...not too much mayo...just the way he likes it.)

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What's the difference between a Jew and a cucumber? You can't gas a cucumber.

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Why did the woman scream when she saw her brother? Cause he was dead.

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Actually it was me Josh brown

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Why did the child get hit by a bus? He was blind.

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Whats worse than a fart joke? A queef joke.

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What do you get when you multiply a trillion times a billion times a quintillion? A huge ass number.

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A man walks into a bar. He asked the bartender if he accepts $100 bills. The bartender says "no".

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Why was the black man hanged? He was charged with piracy in the 1500s..

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DILDO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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How many Muslims does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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What's the deal with airline food? Nothin. It's quite scrumcious.

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If I have 7 oranges in one hand and 8 oranges in the other, what do I have? Big hands!

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he needed to get to the store across the street.

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Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... whats worst than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

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where do cows go on dates? the slaughter house

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like a someboyyyyyyyyyyyy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops