Q: How many babies does it take to paint a shed? A: Considering babies are incapable of rational thought it is unlikely they would understand how to employ the correct method to paint.

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Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

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What is long and hard that a bride gets on her wedding night? An erect penis.

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I love you, you live me. Now get the FUDGE out of the tree!!!

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What noise does a dead dog make ? Nothing its dead

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i used to take arrows to the knee,til i took one to the balls.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

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Why Do Girls Have holes?? For the guys poles.

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What happened to the Jew who went to France? He had a very enjoyable time and visited many of the remarkable landmarks around the country.

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DON'T TOUCH MY DUCK, IT HAS A ONE DOLLAR BILL

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Q. What do black people, Asians, and Irishmen call their moms? A. "Mom"

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What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? You die.

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What does a blonde's vagina taste like? The same as her brain, cabbage

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So there are two skunks in a bath tub. One of the skunks says to the other, "Would you please pass the soap?", and the other skunk says, "What do you think I am, a talking radio?!"

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A grasshopper walks into a bar... Bartender: "hey we have a drink named after you!" Grasshopper: "What, Kevin?"

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What's gay and ugly? An ugly gay.

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why did the boy have no friends ? Because he lived in a small cottage miles away from any civilization with his overly strict parents who would not let him see the daylight and deprived him of any kind of childhood, he has no social skills and does not know how to interact with other human beings at no fault of his own. he is also dead

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your momma is so fat that she should be worried about her higher risk of heart disease, diabetes, and ugliness.

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What's big, yellow and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A JCB!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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How did the Jew escape being put in the gas chamber? He killed himself.

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-Knock knock -Go away -*Breaks door and shoots*

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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