Why to lawyers wear neckties? It's part of the uniform.

Why can't Susie jump rope? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! who's there? Not Susie.



Q: What's purple and eats desks. A: My dog.

What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

Why did the batmobile lose a wheel? The joker was raping robin too hard

How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

is this love , is this love , is this love , that im feeling , no bob im afraid its cancer.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender does not ask about its facial characteristics, because he is wondering why there is a horse standing in his bar.

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

What did the woman say when she didn't finish her meal? Can I get a to go box

why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped his mother

How many police does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they all beat the room for being black.

Why did the black man go to the gym? Because he was severely fat and would live a short life if he didn't lose weight.


why cant monkeys swim? cause they dont have staberlizers.

mary had a little lamb it's fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went it did a massive shit

Q: What did the poor man do when he saw a Ferrari? A: He realized that he would really enjoy having the money to buy such a nice vehicle, so he decided to take it upon himself to enroll in night classes. After many years of hard work, he earned a degree and a high-paying position at a large software corporation, and bought his dream car. He often told the story to his children as an example of what hard work and a goal in mind could achieve you. He lived a long, productive life and died fulfilled.

What's the difference between Elmo and Cookie Monster? One of them doesn't listen to Michelle Obama

Q:If quizes are, "guizicles," then what are tests? A:Who calls quizes, "quizicles?"

What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!


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