Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I told him to. I'm very influential.

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hey its jerry hey its dj want to see my goat noooo

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whats small and tickles? pubic lice

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whats brown and smells like poop? poop.

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How did the little boy die? Malaria Why? He was poor. Why? A Jew stole his money.

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Q; Why does paint dry? A; Because plankton are single cell organisms

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What happened when the tree fell It killed someone

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What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause fuck you thats why

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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What do you do if Zombies are chasing you and your friend? Trip the friend.

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A man gets shot in the balls by a huge swarm of bees HE IS VERY NICE AND FILLED WITH RICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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i threw my line in the toilet the fishing was pretty shity that day

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

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A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

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Q:Whats funny? A:Genocide

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Q: What's not funny and has two wheels? A: The Holocuast, I lied about the wheels.

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Dennis: you can make anything out of coppersulfate Austin: But copper sulfate can make things out of you

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Q: What do you call a midget psychic who escaped from prison? A: His or her name.

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FUCK YOU

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What do you call thousands of people starving all across the globe? Not my problem.

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knock knock who's there ?

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What do u call a man pointing a gun at you? A man with an anger issue

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops