A train conducter conducts at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph, if he goes under 2 bridges and over 3 hills what did the conductors mother have for dinner that night. Nothing she was raped then promptly murdered.

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A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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Facilitator huh? Sounds like someone that kills someone standing in the way, or bribes off others.

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What happened to the lion which escaped from the zoo? It was successfully recaptured.

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Knock knock who's there?... a stupid punchline because the door is imaginary and I am just wasting your time telling a knock knock joke

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What did the man who was punched in the throat say to his friend?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and my cousins? Nothing.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? three-thirty.

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Justin Bieber having an erection.

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what do you get when you have unprotected sex with a hooker? an orgasm

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What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

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What did the black man get for Christmas? Presents

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What do you call an arabic man who sells bombs for a living? A business man.

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Q:what is long ,black and red but smells like poo.? A:poo from someone dying of bowel cancer.!

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Why couldn't the man walk? He lost his legs when he stepped on a land mine in Afghanistan.

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Knock knock... Whose there? Patrick Oh hey, come in...

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What's the difference between a bucket of shit and a black guy? -the bucket.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's been bound and gagged by kidnappers who are holding her for ransom.

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Gay jokes arn't funny. "Come" on guys.

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How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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