diarrhea, diarrhea, duh duh diarrhea, I flush someone down the potty with my diarrhea Duh, duh diarrhea I want to marry my diarrhea duh duh diarrhea. Written by Niggalyncha666

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Vegeta, What does the scouter say about his power level? It's Over 9000!!!!!

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Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

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Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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What did the boy say during his math test? Nothing, talking during a test is prohibited.

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person 1. Did you here about the black guy who went to college? person 2.no person 1. either have i whats ironic is that they are both black

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Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Guess no ones home.

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knock knock who's there... you you who who the fuck are you

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Girl: what comes after 69? Boy: 70. Girl: no,toothpaste! Boy: ...

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bronson watt walks into a bar.

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What did the blind man say to his teacher? Nothing, blind people can't talk.

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights.

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What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

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Three blind mice walk into a bar, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

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What has four legs one head but only one foot? A dog that was born with physical deformities.

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Why didn't the Baby wake up? Because it was dead

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lol i'm going to hell for laughing at this shit

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4 people: A pilot, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a little kid, are all on an airplane with only 3 parachutes, when the plane's engine explodes and starts to go down. But the pilot makes an emergency landing at a nearby airport and everybody is okay.

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Where do bees go to the bathroom? In the hive - they're incontinent.

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Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

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What's worse than accidentally flooding your bathroom? A Tsunami

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Three men walk into a gay bar, and have a great time because they're all of consensual age and brought condoms for safe sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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