Whats black and white with red all over? A dead panda

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what did joe eat for breakfast? he didn't eat, joe is schizophrenic steve's best friend

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Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

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How come the mexican couldnt support his family? Wendy's stopped hiring a week ago

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Shark bait.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because he had legs.

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Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? reading posts on this website that arent antijokes. Seriously poeople... you cant just say something that random than put something tragic. it has to be funny and tragic.

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A bar walks into Chuck Norris.

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why are fire engines red? well books are red magazines are red 2 two plus two is four four times three is 12 there are 12 inches in a ruler queen elizabeth was a ruler, queen elizabeth was also a ship, ships sail in the sea fish swim in the sea, fish have fins, fins fought the russians, russians are always red, fire engines are always russian. and THAT is why fire engines are red....

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Why couldn't the little kid get to sleep? His dog was on fire

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The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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How do you stop a fridge from making contact with the ground? Cut its cable's ground pin.

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Why did the Jewish cross the road? He didn't he died in Holocaust.

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why couldn't the man rock climb? he didn't have hands

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why wasnt johnny in math class?....he slipped and cracked his skull on his way there, he is now recovering at the hospital

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out 10 minutes later because he was satisfied with the new hooker he killed and made out with in the bar's bathroom.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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What do you get when you mix a refrigerator with a microwave? A refrigerated microwave.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I can not rhyme, Show me your tits

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Why do Black people love chicken? Because it is delicious.

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why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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