What's black and blue and hates sex? A rape victim.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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throbbing slobber

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What do you call a Pokemon without a trainer? A wild pokemon.

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Two penguins were taking a bath. One said "pass the soap." The second penguin replied, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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An Asian couple walks into a bar, orders a few drinks, pays, and leaves

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Q: what comes after 69? A: 70

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A list of comebacks: Hows ur face nancy grace ur mom ur face ur moms face take it to my butt, cuz ur the only one that gives a crap

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god."

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Nock nock. Whose there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh. ( mmmmooooo)

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How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

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What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7... Because 7 raped her little sister

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, STDs are contagious. Careful who you screw!

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Q: Playstation 4 or Xbox One? A: Both of them are specialized desktop computers used to play video games. It makes no sense to argue or attempt to make any distinction, as they are the exact same thing.

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An airplane's engine suddenly blows up in the middle of its flight. The pilot turns around and sees a blonde and a brunette. He turns to his right and sees only two parachutes. The pilot says "Ok guys, only two-" Then the plane blows up.

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Why did the tortoise cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Q: why did Suzy fall off the swing? A: she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzy.

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

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knock knock? whos there? danielle danielle who? danielle the liar...hehe

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A dog just died in my neighborhood last week. It made me sad so I vandelized a church and got put into jail. That made me even MORE sad so I vandelized the jail. Morel of the story: This wasn't grammaticly a story. A story is not 3 sentences. --

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Wanna have sex?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer

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What's black and blue and hates anal? The twelve year old in my trunk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops