Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

I was on Facebook today. Opened someones wall. Read "LIKE if you know someone that needs to be smacked in the face with a shovel." So I liked it and wrote my exboyfriend's name.......

Q: What do you call a dog after the dentist? A: A dog.

What's worse than hell? I would say the Holocaust, but they're both the same for the Jews.

Who is gay and sits next to me in my architecture class? The same Griffin Kid.

Knock Knock Who's there? Me!! .... me who? Just open the motherf***ing door!! MOM!?! Theres a rapist at the door. MOM: No Jimmy, thats your father

you know why Michael J Fox makes the best milkshakes? no... but his milkshakes brings all the boys to the yard

Q: What do you get when you cross an Elephant and a Rhinoceros? A: Merriam-Webster defines "cross" as "an affliction that tries one's virtue, steadfastness, or patience." This comedic exercise is one such affliction.

why couldn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell of a building? She was wearing mittens.

How can you tell the difference between a black man and a white man? Quite easily actually.

What's green and wheels? Your mom.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

What's your guys names?

What's the difference between Rebecca black and your mom? Capitalize Black.

If Johnny has 4 dollars and Clarissa has 7 dollars, how many dollars do they have all together? 11 dollars Knock knock Who's There? Johnny Johnny who? Johnny and Clarrisa, all together we have 11 dollars.

What's red and goes pop? A clip art of the word "Pop"

Your gay

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Max

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom.

When life gives you lemons, sell them. Rejoice in your free money.

Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

Why did the man drown in the bath? He was a quadriplegic and couldn't support himself above the water.

What did the man order at KFC, in Miami? A face.

Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!


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