Why did the chicken cross the road? He was disowned by his family due to his drug addiction and had nowhere else to go.

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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Two guys walk into a bar. This is really exciting as they haven't seen each other for two years and are looking forward to catching up.

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What the kid with no arms get for christmas? A baseball and a glove to go through with his dad

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What did the fat gypsy say to the attractive young woman aged twenty-five? I know you are probably not remotely interested in having sex with me, but I'm afraid that you have no choice due to the fact that I've locked all of the doors.

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We live in a world.... Yeah its called Earth.

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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Never mail in your wished to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

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A daring man once said "Here goes nothing!" Anddd nothing happened.

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What is holocaust victim's favorite food? Hamburgers.

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So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

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Why is Adam saying numbers? He is a maths teacher.

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I'm dressing up as a shia for halloween

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

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Who's on first? Garvey.

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Roses are red,vilots are blue just wait till I poo and till i kiss you

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had brain cancer.

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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alex h is such a ginger, that her hair downstairs is red.

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What sound did the Moon Man say to the Moon Woman? Nothing, there isn't an atmosphere so sound cannot travel.

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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Whats the difference between a green apple and a red apple? Their colors.

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Knock Knock Whos there? I dunno I didnt answer the door

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Feeling that your friends do not listen to your insightful conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say "Uhuh", and "Ahah", and "Dats coo!" NOW YOU CAN BE COMPLETELY APRECIATED BY A FUCKING BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING... ...BUT IS IT... APPRECIATING IT? DUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! MYSTERY!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops