Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Sally with prosthetic arms.

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how may i help you

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I farted and it smells like rotten ham with melted cottage cheese now dislike this please.

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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Why is there no Aspirin in the rain forest? Because it wouldn't be financially viable to try and sell pharmaceuticals in the vastly unpopulated rain forest.

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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Your mama's so fat, she can't even find clothes that fit her well.

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An englishman, a german and a ginger are in a band. they play some creative music that some people may find enjoyable to listen to and would like to purchase a track.

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two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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What's the best time to go to the dentist? Whenever your appointment is scheduled.

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What worse than the holocaust? Dries Roelvink!

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whats worse then being a jew now? being a jew in 1942

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Yo mamma is so fat that she is likely to consume large amounts of food regularly.

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A circus clown riding the cutest miniture Shetland pony both fall over a cliff and die.

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family.

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How do you get girls to watch a crappy movie? Tell them Taylor Lautner is in it.

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A: Do you like it B: No

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Q. How are a bird and a turtle alike? A. They both fly. Except the turtle.

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how do you stop a rhino from charging? you shoot it with a gun until it's either dead or no longer charging at you because thats a highly dangerous situation.

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why does beyonce sing " to the left, to the left"? - cause black people have no rights

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Chuck Norris doesn't swim... He never learned

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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