I Wish... I was Charlie Sheen's Dealer

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A mathematician, a physicist and an economist are stranded on a deserted isle in the South Pacific. One day, a lantern washes up on shore. The scholars lament the uselessness of this object.

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How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

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what do you call a black person in a electronic store? a customer

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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Crowded elevator smell different to midget-Confucius say.

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Q: You and a thousand other people are suddenly bursting in flames at a park, there is a big barrel of water just a few steps away from you, what do you do in order to save the people that truly matter? A: Stop drop and roll, duh!

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How do you insult a Canadian? You just swear at them and hope for the best.

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Do you know that car over there? No.

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WHAT DO YOU CALL MEXICANS IN A HOT TUBE BOILED BEANS (; NO RACIAL

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What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

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What's white and horny? A unicorn

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Why is Ian's name Ian? Because he was adopted

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why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from K.F.C

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why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

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Where's my baby??

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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what do you call a animal with 3 horns. a triceratops

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How do you wake Lady GaGa up? set her alarm for a reasonable hour.

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. It was hanging on a clothes line he didn't see.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops