hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have alzheimers, hey i just met you

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Sooo, when exactly did you become a man? Is this subject boring you?

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? They were my friends.

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What happened to the latino and asian man in math class when they had a test? They both recieved exceptional scores as they both helped each other study the night before.

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

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Josh Hamilton walks into a bar.

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Why did the little boy and the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because they were dead.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawer? we are both lawyers

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Knock knock! Who's there? Fed-Ex. We have a package for you.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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what gets louder as it gets smaller? a baby in a trash compacter.

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how do you make a janeter cry, you shit on the floor

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What's green and has wheels? The Holocaust. I lied about the green and the wheels.

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How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

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Even better if I am not here in an hour, lets make it two huh?, I was thinking about you, sleep is well, not something I prioritize well enough at all, probably why I am so adrenaline crazy.

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When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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Useful Information: *2+2=5 *4+4=9 *6+6=13 Q: Given this information, how many fingers am I holding up? A: It was a trick question. Batman didn't open the door.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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What do you call a blue and black dot on the wall? A fly wearing blue jeans.

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A woman walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Yes ma'am?". She orders a gin and tonic, but the bartender had gave her two without realising, and so she pays for one only. She starts to contemplate whether to tell the bartender about his error or to just leave it and have a free glass of gin and tonic. However as she is a christian, gluttony is a sin, and she already had enough to drink today. However, she feels the need to have a relaxing drink today, because as she was on her job as a receptionist, when a customer tripped on the last step of the stairs behind her and broke his neck, dying instantly, which deeply saddened her. This later led her to indulge on 3 glasses of red wine in the staff room. She finally concludes after a few moments pondering, to not tell the bartender about his error, and pampered herself with two relaxing glasses of gin and tonic. Her dead, mutilated body was later found in the rubble of a car after a head-on collision with a truck.

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whats orange, green and has a treadmill attached to it? a cantaloupe, i lied about the treadmill.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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