Q: How do you stop a skunk from smelling? A: Lethally inject it.

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I was approached the other day by an officer as he asked... "Son where are your parents?" I replied, "I dont know i'm an orphan" The officer then laughed and walked away

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Technically I did not try to, but I made you believe I tried in vain, so your subconcious is unable to register that it is under a state of trance, you could deny it, but you are in a state of trance right now. So how big are your breasts?

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If you were a booger..................... I would get a tissue so i could blow my nose.

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I hate you.

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Q:why do bananas where sunscreen? A:beacause they peel!!haha

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Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

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Q: What's the difference between a Boyscout and a Jew? A: Boyscouts come home from camp.

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train?!? The teacher is a highly-intelligent organism and the train is a large vehicle used in transporting goods over long distances on the ground.

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Why did the black women sing to the left to the left? Answer: because black people have no rights

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Who are you texting? YOUR MOTHER.

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

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Hi? No!!!!!

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Last night, I awoke to the unsettling sound of an alarm. My initial thought was fire. However, after analyzing the situation, I realized that it was only my alarm clock. I turned off the alarm clock, and got out of bed. Then my brother walked in my room and hit me in the face with a toaster.

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What time did the tennis start? Tennish

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A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a rare breed of penguin with a horse. A: Well to be fair, turtles have shells

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A guy vociferiously kills another person- fueled by the incentive of personal gain provided by his rapacious, human nature. He is an army soldier who's triumphant in battle and hoping to recieve a promotion. However, ultimately all he did was essentially insignificantt and his acts of purported valor were diametrically unnoticed by all except for his closest friends/allies. He never did supass his original self of a soldier and died of a natural cause that was disclosed only to the members of his immediate family.

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Jerry Sandusky walks up to the reception desk at a day care center. What does the lady at the desk say? Nothing, she promptly gives Mr. Sandusky his son and they leave.

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3 dogs, a blue dog, a yellow dog, and a red dog. The owner was a man named Jeff. Now the blue dog was always sad so Jeff named him blue. The yellow dog was always scared so Jeff named him yellow. Now the red dog he was red because he had red fur, so Jeff named him red. One day when Jeff was reading his newspaper, he accidentally hit his coffee and it fell on the floor. Question: What did Jeff do? I don't know.

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Women's rights

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If a tree falls in the forest and it does it make a sound? No, Trees can't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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