What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Well many scientists have theorized that a giant meteor hit the earth causing the extinction of most living things. Also if your christian : Dinosaurs never existed, evolution is the devils work, science is not the answer to the world's problems. Darwin was a foolish man, and thats that.

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What happen when a plane crash? Everyone on it died...

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what do you call the quadriplegic man who went water skiing? Skip

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Q: What's the upside to your otherwise miserable life? A: You only got raped twice last week.

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Why did the bird fall? It was an ostrich

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Im Tom and I'm an alcoholic...

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there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

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What did little Timmy get his grandmother for Christmas? A coffin

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What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

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What's the difference between a large pizza and a Mexican? A large pizza can feed a family.

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I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

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A man walked into a bar and it hurt.

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Q. Why did my ass feel so sweaty? A. Because i was exercising and suckn on some nips.

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The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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I Love You Jordan! P.S. from someone you know

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Gays

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What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

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What do you call a boy with no arms and a hunchback? -names

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What do an owl and a squirrel have in common? They can both fly! Except for the squirrel.

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Whats worse than having no mother? Having no mother and father, enabling you to have to support a family at the age of 12, using the allowance that your parents are supposed to give you once a week.

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why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

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Seriously, all your new jokes are shit. They are either repeats of stuff previously on the site or they are just so unfunny you'd struggle to get a sympathy laugh from your mother. Please actually take the time to think of something worth submitting or do not submit at all. We know people with no arms can't knock on doors enough now, and many things are better than the holocaust. Do something new!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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