Q: What has 2 eyes and 2 halves of pigs' snout? A: Two pigs peeking around a corner.

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Boy: BRB Girl: OK. *Two hours later* Boy: Back. Girl: What took you so long? Boy: Someone asked why I loved you. Girl: Aw, that's so s- Boy: I know! I had no idea who he was! I had to call the cops.

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what is brown and rhymes with snoop? dr dre

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A: Knock, Knock! B: Who's there? A: Boo B: Boo, who? A: Don't cry, it's only me!

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What did the rat say to the snake when it ate it. Nothing for the rat is a rat and there for can not communicate through talk to the snake nor could it survive as the snake's digestive system disintegrated it in a matter of minutes.

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Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

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Once there was a rich man who lived in a castle on a hill. One fine morning who awoke and decided to go downstairs to make a cup of tea. As he switched on the kettle, he realised he had no tea bags, and so, went to the local shops to buy some – but when he arrived back, his magnificent castle had been burnt down to the ground. The man, obviously shocked, looked around in hope for some evidence as to who would commit this awful crime, but he saw nothing, apart from a little green man running off into the distance. The man calls insurance and they give him a mansion. One morning in the man’s fine mansion, he decided he wanted a nice cup of tea, so went downstairs, discovered he had no teabags, went to the shop to purchase some and came back to find his mansion was no more than a pile of ash. Once again he looked around and saw nothing other than a little green man running off into the distance. The man calls insurance for a second time and they give him a normal house. One morning in the man’s normal house, he feels the need for a cup of tea. But has no teabags, he goes to the shop to get some and comes back to find his normal house has burnt down. In the distance a little green man is running away. Insurance give the man a small cottage. And one morning in this small cottage, the man goes downstairs to make a cup of tea, but once again he has no teabags. Off to the shops he went to buy some but discovered, as he approached his cottage on the way home, that it had been burnt down. He looked around to see the now familiar sight of a little green man running off into the distance. Insurance give him a caravan. One morning in the caravan, the man discovers, while attempting to make a cup of tea, that he has no teabags. So, naively, he goes to the shop to get some and comes back to his caravan to find it burnt down. He looked up and saw a little green man running off into the distance. The now annoyed insurance company give the man a tent. One sunny morning in the man’s tent - he feels the need for tea, but has no teabags; he goes to the shop to buy some and arrives back at his tent to find a little green man holding a can of gasoline and some matches. The man asks: “are you the one who has been burning down all my houses?” And the little green man replies: “No.”

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Why did Napoleon cross his legs? Because he had to go to the bathroom

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

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funniest joke ever!!!!!.....chris.

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What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

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is the glass of milk half empty or half full it is scientifically proven that these are the same thing. Choosing one over the other is like saying that 1/2 does not equal 1-1/2. A normal person would just see this as an ordinary glass of milk.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Cause 7 was a petophile and 6 has four children

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A blonde and a brunette nearly fell off a cliff and were hanging on for dear life. The brunette found the strength to climb back onto the ledge. The blonde was impressed and had muscular dystrophy so she lost the strength to hold on any longer and fell to her death.

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Why did the tree fall? I cut it.

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Why are rich guys gay? They can afford to be

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What's worse then having Casey Anthony babysit your child? A girl asking, "Is it in?"

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If I told you I was straight I'd be lying

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What's worse than a bruise in your knee? A bruise in your other knee. And what is worse than that? The Holocaust. And what is worse than that? A second Holocaust, much bigger, with much more casualties.

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How many men does it take to screw a light bulb? One, men will screw anything.

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What do you call a boy with no arm and no legs in a fire? Screwed.

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What is a Will And Dan put together A WillDan HAHAHAHAHA

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identical jokes get different votes.

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What's the difference between a black person and a park bench? Benches are inanimate objects while people are indeed carbon-based life forms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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