The red guy lives in the red house, the green guy lives in the green house, and the blue guy lives in the blue house. Who lives in the white house? The purple guy, he just hasn't painted his house yet.

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what do you call a slave with a dream of being free? whatever his name happens to be

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme but this one doesn't

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Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

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And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

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Q.What do you call a friend with benefits? A. a buck fuddy.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, Everything is gray, I'm a dog.

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What do you call a black man reading a book? An avid reader that happens to be black

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Q: What's the difference between Catholism and Judiasm? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Hit by a bus Why did the bus driver drop his coffee? He hit the boy

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What's the difference between a melon? One of its halves are both the same.

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THAT MAN EATS TOO MUCH. therefore he is overweight.

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A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: A serial killer B: I don't feel comfortable opening the door

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What do you call batman when we lost all his money? Broke

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot for Arabian Air, idiot. What were you thinking?

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antijoke is the best website.

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Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who the hell keeps shiting in my garden

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Why was Jacob not allowed to play sports? He fell down in the middle off the street and got ran over 50 times and could never do anything again.

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Quick! It's a fly, call the swat team!!!

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knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

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A black guy walks into his bar. So he pays his tab and couldn't have been more coureious.

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What is the difference between a seal and an armadillo? They are both aquatic animals, except for the armadillo.

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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