- Anti Joke

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot you racist S.O.B.

What's black, white, and red all over? Road Kill Penguins.

Robocop and T-800 where fighting, first the T-800 manages to injure Robocop critically, but Robocop manages to repair himself and break T-800`s legs off, which T-800 suddenly regrows due to an unexpected upgrade. After several hours of combat, where civilians are injured and half the town is destroyed they where both worn out, but ready for one last struggle... ...Eventually there was a great celebration for whoever won.

Please Rape William Wright

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

Guy A walks into a bar and sits down beside guy B, they quickly spark up a quick conversation about golf, Guy B says "i hit the ball so hard, it soared 200 yards", Guy A quickly responds by saying "I hit your mom so hard!" Guy B responds "the jokes on you, my mom has herpes"

Loner.

Why did Hitler kill himself? He realized what he'd gotten himself into and became severely depressed

Why was i sad when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

A blind man accidentally walks into another man whilst walking along a sidewalk. The man yells at the blind man, "Watch where you're going!" He then apologizes for his rude behaviour, not noticing right away he was in fact, blind. To show how truthfully sorry he was he took him out for beers the following evening. Soon after they became close friends and now share an apartment in Denver, Colorado.

My wife made me a sandwich

- What's green and invisible? holds out empty hand - This cabbage

Girl: How do I know if I'm Jewish? Guy: Are you Jewish? Girl: No. Guy: There ya go.

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Wheres my tractor?

What do you call a generally un likeable person who has a habit of drinking in a bar? A Bastard.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she no arms

Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

Leave her alone...

How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? There are many circumstances that could affect the outcome of the situation. One of them is whether or not the given people have or will soon obtain a ladder. In this case, the lightbulb could take more time than needed to be screwed in and effectively changed. Another key factor in the situation is the number of people. If there are enough people to reach the ceiling without a ladder, the lightbulb could be screwed in sooner or later than asked by the owner of the facility in which the lightbulb socket is installed. Finally, the height of the persons given is a crucial point in this situation. The people may be tall, thus allowing there to be fewer people needed. The people could be short and need a greater number of people than if the people were, perhaps, a bit taller. All in all, I'd say about 1-2.

Why do women go to the bathroom together? To clean their filthy pussies.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because the light said don't walk

What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

A man walk to the store and buys some clothes.

It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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