Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a dead moose, In my basement.

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A priest and a rabbi attempt to take a whale to a bar. But due to the enormous size and the need for water, the whale couldnt come.

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Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end.

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Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

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A gay man walks down a street before being stabbed to death by a homophobe.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

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What did the fisherman say to the other fisherman? Were both fishermen

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An orphan falls off a cliff.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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what do you get when a white woman and black man have a child? either a girl or a boy

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Why was the boy in hospital? He fell off the bus and was run over by many cars.

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NEVER

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swings? She had no arms... Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs... Why didn't anyone help her up? She had no friends... Why did she die? She landed in a puddle...

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Whats funnier than 24. ... DEEZ NUTS.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had a huge appendage; his arm has been swollen from birth. What a bummer

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A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third seeing the protruding bar goes home to find his entire family dead from anthrax.

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What happens when you step on Jupiter? You cannot.

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What is yellow and corny? Corn.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It followed a trail of bird feed that was strewn across the street.

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Person 1: Knock knock Person 2: Who is there??? Person 1: ..................................... Person 2: (Opens Door) Person 1: BOO i scared u and ding dong ditched u Person 2: Actually "Ding Dong Ditching" is when a one or more human beings search for a targeted house where they ring the door bell and run to a designated location to hide. After the resident opens the door to find out no one has stayed and waited, they close the door and the human beings quickly run up and repeat the task many as times until the resident finally catches them.

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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What do you call mexicans running down the hallway? JAIL BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Q: Why was the cook put in jail. A: He has killed 2 people and robbed several stores

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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