Someone offers your friend one of two things he say's "choose witch one you want" your friends asks you and you say "if i were you, i'd be ugly"

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batman has diarrhea

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How do you get girls to watch a crappy movie? Tell them Taylor Lautner is in it.

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Why couldn't the girl call her boyfriend? Because she is homeless and can't afford to buy a phone.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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Do you work at subway? Because you are giving me a footlong. Yes, please, on white bread, with turkey, ham, white cheddar, and all of the vegetables. Maybe a little bit of sweet onion sauce and sub sauce. Sure, that will be a combo with chips. Thank you very much.

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whats silver and cries? a coin, although it can't cry because its a coin. So it's just silver

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I used to be an Adventurer like you... But then I decided that it was a dangerous form of employment and stopped.

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You're mother has had a heart attack in the middle of the street, you start to sing amazing grace hoping people will join in, but unfortunatly this is not a musical and you should call 911.

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What did the downsyndrome get for christmas? Aborted

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I've lost my electron!! Are you sure? Yes! I'm Positive!

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You read this in school as the kid sitting next to you stares at his computer screen.

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One day a black man, a white man, and an Asian man decide to bet on who has the longest penis. The white man wins by 1/18th of an inch, effectively disproving the stereotype. They all go home a little gayer for the experience.

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Whats faster than a black guy with a TV? His brother with a VCR.

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There once were two muffins in an oven, and one definitely did not start talking to the other

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One day a man named Tyler put a picture of an Asian in his wallet and proceeded to call himself Asian even though he was of Caucasian. Then a theif pick pocketed his wallet and was confused.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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How do you blind fold an asian? Dental floss!

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A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

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What Do call a dog with an e A doge

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That was me, I thought we where friends now... I am so sorry, I really did not send anyone nor anything, I would never do such a thing! What happened to you is terrible, I did say I knew who they where and that they are in prison, but that was a lie, I just wanted for you to think I was really confident and in control. Please Nero, let me speak to you, nothing is like you think, Jenny is my stepmother, please don't do anything.

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Why'd the man go to jail? Because he had a piece of cheese.

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whats worse than war? being tied to a chair and watch your parents die.

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World's 2 Biggest Lies 1. I have read and agree to the Terms of Service 2. That was my last piece of gum

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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