Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Not enough

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Q: Why is Rosie odonell fat? A: Because you are sexual attracted to small children.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Ok good, just checking. It would be a shame for your perishable foodstuffs to go bad.

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there was a blonde and abrunette and they both jumped off a bridge . who hit the bottom first? the brunette beacuase when the blonde was halfway down she had to walk back up and ask for directions

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Why did I have sex with your mom? Because she was a beautiful individual with a fine taste in the classical arts. She also offered me a ride to her place for a delicious 3 course meal. Afterwards our romance blossomed and we decided to have sexual intercourse to show our mutual appreciation for each other.

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Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

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What do you call a horse, a cow, a pig, a sheep, a dog, a cat, and a mouse all walking in a straight line? Animals

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I like my women how I like my coffee; without a penis.

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A blonde, brunette and redhead are stuck on an island that is a mile away from any civilisation.The blonde decides to swim to find help. The blonde swims half a mile, has a rest and then carries on swimming.

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How does Justin Bieber remove a condom? he farts

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so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

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why did the little boy cry? some gang killed his family infront of him.

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what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

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What do a Jew and a homeless man both have in common? They both get nothing for Christmas

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Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

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Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

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It got hit by a rocket.

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Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

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Why did the Mexican get arrested? Because he crossed the border.

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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What is a white supremacist's favorite color? It varies depending on the individual.

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A jew goes into a church. Yolo.

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Q)whats pink and fluffy A)pink fluff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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