Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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No.

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There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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How do you break up with a guy? you kick him in the nuts.

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Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

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how do you kill a blonde? hit her in the back repeatedly with a crowbar

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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what do you call 20 black people under the ocean? a tragic boating accident

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What do you get when you mix a black person with an octopus? i dont know. but it sure picks cotton well.

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Balls

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I'm so hungry, I could eat an adequately sized meal

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A priest a rabbi and the dalai lama walk into a bar. They decided to order the hotwings...... Why do u care??? : )

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Why did the lebanese man kill his own family? He had cancer.

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Yo mama is so fat she could be a plus size model because she's big and hot.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She was dead.

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What do you call a guy with no legs and no arms? Mat.

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Hey! What dhujv hushichk jgdwrggy man? Go home Sally, you're drunk

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outside your comfort zone

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Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

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Why do all black people have AIDS? Because they deserve it.

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What did Tom see after taking a much need long nap? The ceiling.

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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