2 drunk men walk out of a bar, they see a dog on the corner licking himself. One drunk says "man, I wish I could do that" The other drunk says "you might want to pet him first"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? The black man is a human being with all of man's well-deserved rights, and the large pizza is an edible item. Furthermore, the black man, if adult and employed, has the propensity to feed a family of four far longer than a large pizza can.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's the difference between a lamborghini and a sackful of dead babies? one is a car and the other is a grotesque travesty.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the American family left the McDonald's with freshly bought chicken nuggets in their possession, and needed to cross the road to return to their home and eat said chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

thumb_up thumb_down -6

knock knock. no one answered so the man at the door went home.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A Blonde, a brunette, and a redhead where hiding from the police They were all shot and all died because they were playing Grand Theft Auto 5

thumb_up thumb_down -4

When does a blond laugh and cry? When she's raped by a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is worse than the holocaust paying taxes

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's better than a gold medal in the special olympics? ICE CREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How can you tell an Irishman from a frenchman? Well, if you look back at both there heritages...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

your mammas so fat tha-- my mother is dead. oh... sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many pairings of animals did Moses collect before the rain started? 1. 500 2. 50000 3. 500000000 4. Nobody really knows 5. It was Noah... Moral: Lol.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats small and has Aids? Avery..

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many blind men does it take to change a light bulb? None. They are blind and do not care if it is light or dark in their surroundings.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimers, Cheese on toast.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I know a kid named Ruslonia. What type of name is that?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

2 nuns were in a bathtub. One says to the other "Could you pass me the soap please?" The other replies, "What do you think I am, a radio?"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops