- Anti Joke

How do you prevent a baby from crawling all over the place? You nail his hands to the floor

What did the black boy wear for Halloween? A costume.

so if you need 20 dollars and you just kicked your cat how old is your mom. cake because you are a 666 member.

A priest, a jew, and a pirate walk into a bar. An exchange of dialogue occurs with the bartender and hilarity ensues.

What happens when Chuck Norris and Mr. T get into a car accident? They trade insurance information.

whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

Who did you see last night? Nobody, no one wants to see you.

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

Why did Maggie shit herself? Because she saw her son.

roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

WHY IS THIS SENTENCE CAPITALIZED? BECAUSE CAPS LOCK IS ON.

Yeah, and speaking about spiderman, I got some weird senses, when I get stressed things begin seeming slower, and gets a weird blur effect, not sure what it is, but if you know what "bullet hell video games are" Technically games where you play as a tiny spaceship and lots of bullets fly around, I was always awesome at those games as a kid, because the more stress I felt while playing, the slower my perception of time felt.

What are little Timmy's hopes and dreams? Destroyed.

learn the ropes?

How do you describe a funny man on stilts? Stand up comedy

Where did the watch-dog take the blind man on Saturday afternoon? Wherever the blind man wanted to go

So it was 1945, and these two blonds walk into a bar......I forget the rest of the joke, but Japan ended up getting nuked

Roses are Blue Violets are Red I'm not creative Roses are Blue

what do you call an astrounaut in space? an astrounaut you racist bastard

its was amazinglysmooth fuck off

A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

An asian, black man and a white guy are stranded in a desert with no food and no water, so what do they do Die

What did the black man, chinese man, and mexican man all have in common? They all happened to enjoy cantaloupe.

why did the plane crash the pilot was Suicidal

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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