If life gives you lemons, keep them because hey, free lemons

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

thumb_up thumb_down -91

Liverpool City Football Club

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Ted: Joe, do you think I'm dumb? Joe: No, I think you're Ted.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why cant a black person read? Because there is nothing to read...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Hey bill

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What did the penguin say to the fisherman? Nothing, they are different animals, and thus, unable to communicate.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the mexican say when two houses fell on him? Nothing. He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did Aladin say to Mulan? Nothing. Although they are both Disney characters, they never appear in the same film, and therefore never communicate.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the gitl fail her cooking class? Because she was abused and severely beaten by her teacher

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Don't you hate when you finger your belly button and your nipples exploed?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Say, "I have a really nice knock knock joke, but you have to start." To someone. They say knock knock You say who's there! and walk away.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

what did the Alaskan homeless man get for Christmas? Death

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let out the chicken?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +3,859

What is red, blue, green, and pink, tie died, and alive? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

do you like hardcore music? ya i love brokencyde

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Im Harold Camping.... and i enjoy scaring the shit out of you

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

whats long and green? weed

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the black police officer say to the white police officer? We just got a call in. Four dead children were found in an alley behind a mall.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the little girl go to the hospital?........................Beacuse she fell when trying to steal cookies out of the cookie jar on top of the fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

You throw nothing like your mother; she is actually really good at throwing.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops