Why couldn't billy hear his mom on the phone? Because Billy is deaf.

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A man walks in to a bar and says "ouch."

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped six's mom.

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Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza One is an ethnicity derived from Africa and One is an Italian dish that is well'ly known in all four corners of the world.

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Yo momma's so fat that all the children within a close proximity of your home think that your mother is a very large woman.

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Why can't Tommy ride a bike? Because Tommy is a goldfish.

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What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizz

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What's worse than losing the remote Finding it in your ass hole

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What happened to the man who worshiped Satan when he died? He died.

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Alex Eggbert

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Why didn't Jimmy go to school? Because his school was nuked.

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WHat did Helen Keller get for Christmas? an ipod

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What happened to the boy who cried wolf? He was brutally raped and killed, Inglewood is really not a place you want your children growing up.

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Three Jews are hiding under the floorboards. One of them makes and noise and they are promptly found by the invading German soldiers. They are all shipped to Aushwitz where two of them are sent directly to the gas chambers where they are killed. The third Jew survives the Holocaust and is eventually liberated by Allied forces. He returns to his country only to find his house burnt to the ground. With no money or food, he starves to death by the side of the road and his body is eaten by various animals.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? The president. -Harrison

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What dud the baseball player do when he struck out? Walked back to the bench

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Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? People cross roads all the time, each for their own personal reasons. Questioning their motives is generally accepted as being unnecessary, as it is a relatively safe action as log as one is careful and heeds the laws of traffic.

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This is an anti joke

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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Q: What did Santa give the little boy for Christmas? A: Nothing, he's not real

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Why did a vampire climb Mount Everest in the middle of the night on his birthday in September?

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How does a man with no arms ride a bicycle? He can't, he loses control and falls over, getting a few scrapes and bruises.

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Bro: Aww Dawg! What if they tell me I got da aids? Dawg!: Hey don worry bro, you gotta BE POSITIVE

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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