how do you find a ghost? shoot yourself.

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How do you make a Hispanic man sad? Answer: steal everything he has until he has nothing

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How did the mermaid break her arm? She fell out of a tree.

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house she is likely to be there for some time.

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Why did the couple stop at the stop sign? Because it's the law.

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While getting Sherrie's Crabcakes I was arrested by Missy Hepp highway patrol.

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Why did the duck walk on the moon? Because it was his lifelong goal

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the hea repeatedly

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One man says to the other man "Hello Sir, how are you this morning?" He replies "I am doing rather well, and how are you?" The first man replies "Quite good." And they continue about their day.

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Set a restriction on something she enjoys that is equal to the degree of her misbehavior.

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What did the white boy say to the black boy? You're black

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A Black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder and the bar tender says " thats something weird you got there". The parrot says "yeah i found it on the street".

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A batch of muffins is baking in an oven. One muffin says to another... Oh sorry, scratch that, they can't talk; they're f***ing muffins. (CSC)

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Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

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your mom is so dumb she threw a rock at the ground and missed

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Q: What's worse than a worm in you're apple... A: The fact that you have all-timers and can't remember...

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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How can you tell if someones gay? You ask them.

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What's black and blue and red all over? A person who was just in a fight.

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what's big fat and hairy yo mamma

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Why did the semen cross the road? Because i put on the wrong socks this morning

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You know what happens when there's an awkward silence... Everyone feels a little bit uncomfortable for a brief moment in time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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