Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: His name.

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Why did bethany fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Bethany

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What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

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what's worse than a worm in your apple? The Haulocaust. Whats worse than the Haulocaust? Two worms in your apple.

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What did mike Tyson say to the midget? ''Hello'' He's actually a relatively nice man.

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Your mom is so old so will die soon.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one being irish and the other chinese. now they both happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china, where as the chinese man had not committed any crime.

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What's worse than 9 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 9 trees.

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French people.

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How did the mecanic die? He drowned

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A man cries out to god.. and god doesn't answer.

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A student exclaimed "This test is a piece of cake!" He ate it.

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What if someone sold your socks to a Jew? I would blackflip through the air and shit on his chest.

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What do you call a black man with a PhD and loving family? A nigger

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Who is the funniest guy on this planet? Mike the Situation.

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what is worse than bitting into your apple and finding a worm? 9/11

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a guy walks down a street when he sees a bomb he walks away

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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A man walks into a bar so how many Jews were there when a man called Wellard ate a pizza. Balloons

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why do you often see black man dating fat chick?? because they have the brains to realise that fat chicks are just people and need love too

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Why aren't dragons real? Because if any animal were to breath fire (let alone have a gland that produced it), they would cease to live for their necks would scorch from the inside out.

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How do you keep a woman entertained? A delightful romantic comedy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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