What did the homeless man say to bill gates? Nothing he was about to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why can't Emily swing because she has no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Emily

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's an example of something quiet? Helen Keller.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did jake say to the priest? hmmm, salty

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes people laugh and the other is a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the taxi friver say to the man? "You forgot your briefcase"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

2 Men Walk Into A Bar, I Forget The Rest.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: why was the baker a coward? A: his own mother told him his potential would amount to nothing more than a baker and when a dinosaur came into the bakery he ran away

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why is a blonde girl crying in the bathroom? Because she has been bullied and someone broke her nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why was 6 afraid of 7? because seven is a murdering sociopath

thumb_up thumb_down -3

If you put two black men in an empty room, what will they do? They will most likely try to figure out why they have been put in such a confusing scenario. Then one of the black men will suggest the possibility that maybe they are being used as a subject of a joke. The other black man agrees then they both hang themselves since they have no other purpose in life.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer procrastinated fixing the latch on the coop. Did his wife warn him this would happen? Yessss! Did he listen? Noooo!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q. what's red and smells like blue paint A. a dead baby in a trash can beside a foster home

thumb_up thumb_down +31

there is a black guy and a mexican in a car whos driving? a cop

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How do you confuse a Muslim? - Rub his belly.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why couldn't little Sally fall asleep? She was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's brown and has four wheels? Wood, I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the young boy get for christmas? Parental divorce

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A dog walks into a bar and succumbs to heartworm.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When is a bus not a bus? When it turns into a street

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's another name for asexual reproduction? Parthenogenesis.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops