Friends are a lot like trees I just thought you should know.

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What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

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whats worse than a baby in a bathtub? its dead. Whats worse than that? its in a clown suit. Whats worse than that? The baby had down syndrome.

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roses are red violet is blue why rik go to the hospital ? cause he eat glue.

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What did Greg say to John? Nothing. Greg died in a horrible plane crash

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What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

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How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

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Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

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What did the starving african child get for his birthday Ebola

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What is funnier than 9 black fellas dead in a trashbin? 1 black fella dead in 9 trashbins.

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Why did the boy fail gym? He had cancer and had to amputate both of his legs.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. No, the Holocaust never happened, you're an idiot.

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

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And love is, bein' the owner of a company that makes rape whistles and even though you started the company with good intentions trying to reduce the rate of rape, now you don't wanna reduce it at all cuz if the rape rate declines you'll see an equal decline in whistle sales. Without rapists, who's gonna buy your whistles? Who's gonna buy your whistles? Love is all about whistles.

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Your mom is so stupid she makes stupid people look not stupid.

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What did the fish want to drink? Charlie Brown

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

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Why did they name the cat Salty? I have no idea, ask his owner

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Yo mama's so fat that she needs substantially larger clothes than most other people

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Knock Knock! Who's there?! Michelle Bachman.

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Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

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What makes a good jack-o-lantern? A pumpkin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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