FUCK YOU NEVEN

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How do you make asian ice cream you mix it with a textbook

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A fire at a chinese high school caused the death of many children. The drill was unsucessful.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't know where I am, I'm blind.

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Why did the women die? Because She was a Squirrel.

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knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers have no feelings.

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Ben Colbert is gay

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Whats the difference between a Preius and a vagina? One's the possibly the greatest invention of all time and possibly the only hope for the future of man kind. The others a Preius.

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Q: What do you call a nun in a wheelchair A: Handicapped.

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4 men walk into a bar. They have fun. ~Yasmin~

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A Mexican, a Jew, an American and an Indian are on a plane with no parachutes. No one jumps out because no one has a parachute.

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What did the farmer say when he couldnt find his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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irish man drinking john smiths

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thats what she she. no really thats what she said

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what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died.

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she get up? She had no legs. *Knock knock* Who's there? Not Suzie.

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A mermaid found a magic lamp at the bottom of the ocean. She rubbed it and a cat with 9 lives came out so he didn't drown.

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A lobster walks up to an octopus. What does he say? Nothing. Lobsters cannot talk.

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Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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Knock knock What?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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