What did the psychiatrist say to the man wearing nothing but Saran Wrap? - "That's for food. You should wear clothes instead."

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

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What happens when three blind mice go our looking for food? They die because of the mouse traps the owners have because they are tired of loosing food to the mice.

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A guy walks into a bar and falls.

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why did susie fall off the swing? she had no arms and no legs. knock knock who's there? not susie

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whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket in disguise

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Perverted man: Nice bum where u from Hot ladie with the nice bum: Boston Mass so kiss my ASS

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because the grocery store only sold pork

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What did the over-baring Chinese couple say to there son who got an A- in math? How would I know? I can't speak Chinese.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Being molested by a crazy hobo

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

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Q: what comes after 69? A: 70

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How do you kill a Jew? Shoot him in the head.

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IT SOUNDS SO WROOONG! Actually I was thinking more about when I go short sentences, you go short, then I decide to put in like 500 lines in a single comment and then you do. Besides I call it caps! And no, I do not want you to be like me, there was already another me, it was a complete bitch killing him, I mean if I did not know a lot worse, I would say his chances at kicking my ass where equal. By the way, that "you you seducer" totally sounded like something Donald Duck would say, I dig Donald, so I guess I am into cartoons.

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Cry me a river. then try and build a bridge, fail, and walk away frustrated

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How many fingers am I holding up? None, my fingers were blown off by a hand grenade.

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If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

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Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You were adopted and I couldn't think of a good way to tell you...

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How did i get from Pakistan to Iraq Iran

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Lets just say I work for some important people, not the feds that is for sure, ill tell you when we meet, not here. As for my condition, lets just say that I am profusely bleeding noseblood now and that is because I forgot to take my medication, and if I had no medicaions at all, I would have begun bleeding out of me ears end eye sockets, and ironically id die from a lot of other shit before bleeding to death, so thats not even the case. Its nothing common, but I bet people could find out about it pretty fast on wikipedia, and as much as I like throwing shit on random people here, I dont like bothering anyone with my problems, in this case, it came kinda sudden and unexpected, and I dont mind sharing my deepest aspects including this with my best friends, of which one of them you clearly are love.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have a pie would you like some?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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