What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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What's up? A direction...

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If Pythagoras was racist, he would have made hypotenuses.

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How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

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If life gives you lemons.... Life is an abstract noun not a physical object so it can not give you lemons.

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What do you call a Mexican jumping fences? A really good athlete.

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What did the rock say to the other rock? It didnt

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William Wright. 8 perry street Answer-Gay

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Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

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Your mama is so ugly that she tried out for America's Next Top Model and did not get in.

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A skeleton goes to a bar an orders a human flesh.

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What did the guy say to the other guy? LOOK AT MY EYEBROWS!!!!!!!

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Micheal Jackson walks into a bar

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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How do you make an electrician cry? You cut off his friend's penis.

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21

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Whats louder than a dinosaur? 2 Dinosaurs

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, This is Patrick.

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PISS OUT MY ASS!!!!!

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A lion walks in to a bar, and murders everyone inside. This is why animals are not aloud in bars.

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god made the sea god helped invent the first wheel but as you know he also made me a really big deal !

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Why did the girl lie to the priest? because she didn't want to tell him the truth

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Do you really want to know what i shit? Poo

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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