Wright flyer

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What is a five letter word that sounds just like trucks? Vroom

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's the same between a school bus and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you get someone off a swing? ask them politely.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one? The trip to find a blonde wig suitable for a snowman, especially if you are picky and have a certain wig in mind, generally takes up more time than not searching for a wig at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

The Israeli asked the Japanese guy to open his eyes The Japanese guy said, I'm not squinting you crazy Jew. You're the one that sold me these cheap glasses.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A Tatooine moisture farmer, an old man, an astromech droid, and a protocol droid walk into a cantina at Mos Eisley Space Port. The bartender says, "We don't serve their kind here! They'll have to wait outside. We don't want them here." The moisture farmer then says to his droids, "Listen, why don't you wait out by the speeder. We don't want any trouble."

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats worse than 10 dead babies in my garage? 11 dead babies in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: If a hen-and-a-half can lay an egg-and-a-half in a day-and-a-half, how long would it take a peg-legged grasshopper to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle? A: He'd give up.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Jesus steps out of a boat, and walks across the water to shore. He's such a show of. Only an attention whore would leave a boat and walk across water for no good reason.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What does a carrot and a potato have in common? They're both not chocolate

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Your Face... It's Beautiful.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why? Why Not?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

68

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Where are the first Cannibals in the Bible? A. 2 Corinthians 8:1

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the elephant say to the whale? Nothing, neither can talk and they live in very different biomes.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

what is a bike without wheels? not a bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Wanna know what is gross? a dead baby in a dumpster. Grosser? Ten dead babies in a dumpster. Grosser? There is a live one at the bottom. Grosser? It ate its way out. Grosser? It came back for seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A drunk man walks out of a bar, goes home and abuses his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops