Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

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A horse walks in a bar. Several people leave seeing the potential danger in the situation.

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knock, knock. use the doorbell next time.

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roses are red leather is black when when god made you he was smoking crack

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a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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The club cant even handle me right now Because theyve reached their limit of people allowed in

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

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You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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Nah

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if she is old enough to bleed, she probably wears tampons.

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Q- How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A- You Poke Her Face

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Got Milk? Why yes! Yes I do!

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My friend came in the barber's shop and asked me to cut his hair for him, i always have rude banter with him and i made a joke about his big bate nose. He acused me of calling him Jewish and threatened to sue me. This is how i found out that he was a white supremisist.

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What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

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Q: Why did the girl fall off the swing? R: Because she had no arms.

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An asian man, a black man, and a white man walk into a bar. All three of them order a scotch, coincidentally this is their favorite beverage.

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An elephant walks up to a camel and says why have you got a pair if boobs on your back, the camel the replies that's a funny question coming from someone with a dick on their face.

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love is a homeless guy searchin' for treasure in the middle of the rain and finding a bag of gold coins and slowly finding out they're all filled with chocolate and even though he's heartbroken he can't complain cuz he was hungry in the first place.

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i tried logging into my ipad. turns out, it was an etch a sketch, and i dont own an ipad. also, im out of vodka.

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Why did the Mexican put away the Marijuana? Because he was a Police Officer

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what do you get when you cross a turkey with a goat? nothing you can't cross to genetically different spieces stupid

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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