A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What are three things an average teenager cannot live without? Oxygen, Food, and Water. Duh.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Did you hear about the Polish couple taking selfies while on vacation in Portugal? They fell off a cliff and died in front of their children. True story.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will cause me to develop a drinking problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q) 1+1=? A) 6.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the girl with cancer get for her birthday? Hairspray.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? While Beethoven enjoyed many different varieties of fruit, he found strawberries the most appealing.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why is the boy home alone on Friday night? Because Hitler took he's parents away.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Today, we will be identifying power tools. This is not a drill.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Is your refrigerator running. Yes. Good, then I don't need to call an electrician.

thumb_up thumb_down

why was the 6 year old boy crying? his mother had just passed away from terminal cancer and his stepdad caught him crying so he kicke hm in the face and told him to man up.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the deer stop running? It was hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's heavy, black, and when hanging by a rope from a tree, makes white people happy? A tire, in any white football player's backyard.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call two gay black men? Homosexuals.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats gayer then dancing with the stars? Justin beiber

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Gorillas are black, Roses are red, Were out of milk, GET THE F**K OUT!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the iceberg say when Titanic crashed on it? "Yeah!"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?" Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops