Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have altzeimer's, Cheese on toast

Who invented chocolate? I don't know! Keep it to yourself.

so an apple walks into a bar... I'm terrible at making jokes...

What do you a black man who isn't flying a plane? Well, that depends on his occupation.

Why don't gingerbread cookies have souls? Cookies don't have souls.

Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

Men's rights Because its an anti-joke

When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

How did the little boy get lost? He didnt he got dragged into a van and was raped violently.

How do you piss off a gypsy? Curse at him

Three men walk into a Bar.... You'd have thought at least one of them would have seen it !

What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

How did my grand parents go about surviving the holocaust? Well, for starters, they weren't Jewish, they never lived in Germany, and to be honest, my grandparents probably would have supported the Nazi's because they are right wing pricks

Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

What did the colonel say to the soldier before he got into the army tank? Get in.

You:Knock knock friend:who's there you:come in friend come on who you:come in your mother

Whats the best ab workout? Solly Twist

Dont be mean Dyslexics are teople poo

What's the difference between a Pogo-stick and a Unicorn. A lot actually.

In Pokemon, why are bug types super effective against dark types? Because Ebola affected a lot in Africa.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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