A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you get a Mexicans attention? By calling him by his name.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Damn Nero... So you are saying there is no hope left, the underground society is dead and buried.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was Jenny alone? Everyone else had died in a zombie apocalypse.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the cookie go to the doctor, beause he was feeling really crumby...becuase he has testicular cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? ... So he didn't get Mono from Janelle.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

how many blondes does it take to fix a lightbulb? 764,983,792,545,653,

thumb_up thumb_down +32

a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Mean while... at Jerry Sandusky's house

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a middle eastern man flying a plane?? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's big fat and ugly? A monster

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Do you want icecream, Björn?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What worse than stubbing your toe? Getting raped by a panda.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q :Whats the difference between a truck load of bowling balls and a truck load of dead babies? A: I don't have a truck of bowling balls.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? Finding out that your girlfriend is really a drag queen and that that is why you have never had sex. -Harrison

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q How do you make pie. A You cook it

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? About 4:30, unless he's running late, stuck in traffic, had to get gas.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops