How I seem math word problems Scenario: 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara desert Question: How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse Answer: Purple, because ice cream has no bones

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Why did my son fall off of his bicycle? Because I hit him with a steak.

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How can you tell two twin sisters apart? Look at one twin, then look at the other, and acknowledge that they are two different people.

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A lepord can carry two times its weight into a tree, i dont have a joke for this yet but youll leave here learning something.

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Fine, ladies first.

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why didn't the black kid make the basketball team? He has cancer.

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? Generally speaking- biology, except in cases of transexuality.

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Little kid asks his mom: "Why do zombies eat people?" His mom says: "Becasue honey, your MEAT"

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You are the third derivative of the position function.

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What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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What did the snoop dog have for breakfast? Weed

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What did the 85 year old man do after having the sex of his life? He found out he had AIDS.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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why was the little girl crying? Because her family was dead

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Yo Mama so ugly I don't know how she found your dad.

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Nothing. She isn't supposed to chat because it's study hall and they enforce a strict "no talking" policy.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's blind? No, because he's dead

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What did the dad say when the irresponsible goth problem child asked for a gun Yes

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Roses are *yanks hair* Violets are *yanks hair* *sobs and yanks hair* I have tricolomania

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Jovan

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Why was Rebecca Black beaten with a pole when she sang Friday? It was Saturday

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A young boy had a question and looked into the sky then his eyes got burnt from the sun and he went blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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