******************************************************** Okay, so there were two muffins in the oven. One muffin said, "Oh my gosh! We're gonna die!" The other muffin said, "Whoa a talking muffin!" **********************************************************

How does Ray Charles see? He doesn't, he plays piano.

What's invisible and smells like a carrot? A rabbit's fart.

A redhead walks into a bar and goes to the restroom. She needed to pee.

Roses are red violets are blue my d*** is bigger than you.

What did santa claus get the boy with cancer for christmas? Nothing. Santa is not real and thus incapable of granting christmas wishes.

Did the owl ever reach the middle of the tootsie pop? Yes. Dreams do come true

If 3 days ago was yesterday and today is Friday, how many legs does 7 dogs, 3 ducks, and 2 chickens have if the answer was red? Okay, not to sound rude but I'm gonna take a wild guess and say.....yo mama is so fat when she read this joke she ate the whole bucket of popcorn and didn't even share.

What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

What did one ginger say to the other? W are both gingers.

What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

if your having girl problems i feel bad for you son, i don't have any.

Two blonds walk into a building....they couldnt see it.

What did the Dragonfly say to the Mosquito? Nothing. He ate it.

whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican has elbows.

WHATS BROWN AND SMELLS LIKE CRAP!?!?!?!?!?!?!? crap

How many babiess it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

Why didnt the boy go to school the next day? Because he killed himself due to bullying

Why did the car's airbag go off? He hit a boy eating his ice cream

So I was making love to my cat the other day, and my pet dog comes in.

Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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