Barney is a pedophile Loves dino molestation Stuck a dildo in his ass And died of constipation

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What's the worst part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheel chair.

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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Why couldn't the little boy find his friend in hide and go seek He was blind

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What does an otter and a pencil sharpener have in common? They both feature in this joke

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Why did the man die from drinking the water? It wasn't water, it was acid.

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If a wheel falls off a bus whilst travelling down a river, how long does it take to shingle a doghouse? None, because there are no bones in cottage cheese.

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Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

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What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

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Your mama's so skinny; she can fit into most swimsuits sizes 4-6 and has a rather petite bottom.

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Billy was taking a stroll in the forest, when suddenly he met a bear. Billy remember what his father had taught him, and quikly lied down on the ground, pretending to be dead. The bear started licking Billy's face. Still he remained calm. The bear bit off Billys finger. Still he did not move. When the bear ate Billy's foot, he nearly panicked. But thinking of his wife and children he mustered his last remaining strenght, and did not move a muscle. If he tried to run or fight the bear he would surely die and never see them again. Then the bear ate Billys head.

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock out a window.

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the axe murderer. Did it work? No.

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numbers just make the funniest antijokes

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A black man walks into a bar and says, "ouch."

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Why was the black man escorted from the bar? Because the bartender was racist.

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What did the baby said to her mother? Nothing because she aborted him

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A horse walks into a bar...n

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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Let's play twenty questions. Alright, but I have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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The Qur'an

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What's better than a gold medal in the special olympics? ICE CREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Clouds are white. Thank God I am too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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