Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced by the man with a gun.

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How do you become thinner in a week? Stand in front of a Bulldozer.

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They say those with anti-humour are the wisest.

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Why doesn't Jonathan Walk across the road? Because he is in a wheelchair...

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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Rylan Clark

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Lebron James got a new iPhone, but he has to keep it on vibrate because he doesn't have any rings.

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A friend of yours tells you his version of The Aristocrats. You just wasted about 5-20 minutes of your life.

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Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

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i like going to public parks and watching the kids run and yell because they dont know im using blanks

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Why did the penis cross the road? Because a man was humping the chicken

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Bob: Hey Jim, if you were a caveman, you would die. Jim: Why? Bob: Cause everybody dies.

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Three Lawyers are walking, one falls down, gets up and continues walking

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Penis

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*insert corny "a man walks into a bar" joke here*

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Roses are red Violets are blue we're going to have sex because i'm stronger than you

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Okay.. So a dyslectic man walks into a bra...

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Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with men other than her husband.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? The Batmobile only seats one, you'll have to take the bike Boy Wonder.

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What did the blind kid get for Christmas? A collection of braile children's reading books.

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Why is an Orange, Orange??? Because its not blue!

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How do you wake up your friend in a reasonable manor? you beat the shit out of him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops