What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

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Why did the old woman fall down She got shot

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im gey

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

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what do you call two indian men lying next to each other? i dont think there is a name for it but im sure you call them by there names.

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why did the man jump out of the plane without a parachute? Im not really sure, maybe to commit a slow and painful suicide.

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Santa Clause, a smart blonde, and the Queen of England all jump out of a plane, which hits the ground first? Galileo's theory tells us that all objects fall at the same speed regardless of weight, so they all hit simultaneously.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

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Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

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whats the difference between friends and cement? if you soak friends in liquid and then repeatadly shock them they will die

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Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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Why did someone see a penguin walking in the desert? They were dreaming, because Penguins waddle and live in the Arctic.

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Gary: Hey Bill, wanna hear a joke? Bill: Yes Gary: Okay.

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What's black,white, and red all over? Nothing, because if it is completely covered in red then it can only be red.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

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It's kind of hard to die when you're in a freezer.

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Two sausages were in a pan. One says "Wow it's hot in here!" the other says "OH MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE"

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What's black and hangs from trees? tires ...and black people

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A man walks into a bar. As he walks in, numerous people turn their heads in awe. Is it... it can't be. It's Paul McCartney, the famous musician! "Oh - I'm not Paul McCartney". The man then said. "I just look a lot like him. Sorry." "Awww. That's a shame." said John Lennon, disappointed.

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How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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How are a dead chicken and a woman alike? They both belong in the kitchen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops