One night, a man dreams that he is a bird that can fly into outer space. The next day the man finds out that his son is a homosexual.

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A black man walks up to a white man, and the black man says YO DIGGITY DAWG WASSAP FO DRIZZLE PLAYA BEEP BOBOTY BOP. And the white man stands there, confused as to what the black man said.

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white or wheat? wheat please.

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A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

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What do you call a lady that cleans? A cleaning lady.

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Why does Santa Claus drink so much hot Cocoa? Because Mrs. Claus got tired of his constant drunkenness and won't allow beer in the house in the house anymore.

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A labrador, a chihuahua, and a great dane walk onto a bar. They are strays and were brought to the pound where they were more than likely put down or adopted.

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Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

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what do you get if you put a baby in a microwave? an erection

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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What did the mexican say when two houses fell on him? Nothing. He was dead.

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What did the (real) wrestler say to the U.F.C guy? Probably something nice because most U.F.C fighters were wrestlers.

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Q: What's the similarity between puzzles and women? A: Prior to the 1920's neither had the right to vote.

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How do Elmer Fudd take a shower? Without a shampoo, he's bald..

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimers, Hey i just met you.

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what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

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What would Micheal Jackson do if he were alive today? THRILLER! THRILLER! THRILLERS NIGHT!

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What's the difference between two telephone poles? T-shirts! Because motorcycles don't have doors!

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What is the biggest lie in the universe? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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Why was the thirteen year old raped by an online predator? Because he made very poor choices on giving out his personal information.

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24

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

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What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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