what do you do when a woman tells you no? cut her tongue out

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How did the hot blonde get a promotion from her boss? She worked really hard and achieved more thaan her coworkers.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas ? cancer

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What do you call a cat with no legs and an inverted anus? Nothing, you're to horrified to speak.

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good pick up line hey baby have u seen my heart cuz i think you stole it

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what did the tree say to the other tree? Don't leaf me!

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Are you a tree? A: No.

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Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back in middle school, they were both friends. They hung out every day and always had the best fun. It wasn't until their baseball team made it to the junior championship. That was when seven started doping for better strength and endurance for the game. Sevens family and friends (Especially six,) Had started to notice a change in sevens behavior and he seemed more distant from any social relationships with others. Seven began to become angry and self centered and only seemed to be focused on the game. Seven found out that Six knew that he was doping and fought him and brutally injured Six. Seven was then found out by the coaches and was kicked off the team. Seven, knowing that he had ruined his whole life, Shot himself with his dads .38 Revolver.

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A dead guy walks into a grave.

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I like my women how I like my ice-cream Out cold.

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Q: Whats worse than 5,000,000 African Americans being killed? A: 1 White person being killed

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Why was it true for sure? It was on wikipedia.

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How did the car get a dent? Terrorists bombed the house next to it

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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Who is gay and sits next to me in my architecture class? The same Griffin Kid.

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George Bush.

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Who's mean and white and really not nice? Hitler

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Why was a black man running in the street with my wallet in his hand? Because he saw me dropping it and was trying to reach me to give it back.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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i saw your mom, i said hi

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Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: Hahahaha! I can't read.

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What did the mountain biker say when he saw a double rainbow? This a very rare occurrence in nature, and I should enjoy this rare phenomenon.

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Chuck Norris counted to infinity; by calculating the sum of a divergent series.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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