your a vagina says you, your a booby

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I treat women like I treat dead bodies. With respect.

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Knock knock whos there? Jake jake who? jake from state farm, and i'd like to tell you about our insurance company

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What was the motto of the Holocaust? Yolo.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the Long face" The horse then storms out of the bar, wondering why every bartender must ask him that.

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14 people jump in a hole about 25 ft deep. they can't climb out because it is a straight vertical drop.

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A mexican fast food worker accidentally drops a cheeseburger on the ground. Realizing the floor is most likely unsanitary, he throws it out and gets the customer a new one.

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i like going to public parks and watching the kids run and yell because they dont know im using blanks

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A man walks into a bar stark naked with a duck on his head. The bartender said "Dave, what's wrong?" The duck replies "Don't ask."

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Where do astronaut cows go? Nowhere. There's no such thing as an astronaut cow.

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What's the square root of 6739472? Who gives a f***?

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

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A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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Why did Steve put his trumpet in the fridge? He had begun the early stages of dementia and was becoming increasingly confused and detached from reality. Also he was German.

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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What happened to the blonde who walked up to the vending machine? She got a snack and went on with her day.

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-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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"bluar blah blah blarRR/ the stupid pointless part" dead people/ animals/ objects can't talk/ drive/ operate compueter, lol I'm so focken funni

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Why did the monKey fall out of the tree? He died Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first one

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A man walks into a bar falls into the street and gets run over. It was very tragic

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Give to the less fortunate. Date ugly people

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What do you call a dog with no legs Nothing it won't come

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Your momma's so fat that she went on a diet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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