What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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when your out of toilet paper what do you do? get more

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he took my chicken i shoot him in the foot and raped his dog

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doctor: hey u ready to get home person: yea doctor: that sucks cause u have cancer

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What was wrong with the tree? Nothing

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j.p. is dumb

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how hungry am i? well im as hungry a starving kid in africa!!!!

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What's big, hard, in the water, and isolated? Shutter Island

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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hi anti joke

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Why did the taxi driver kill the blond? He didn't. It's illegal to murder people in most countries.

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Guess what? That is actually a ridiculously broad question, and I can be referring to anything. You really have no chance in guessing "what" is. As a matter of fact, I can just be thinking about a thought of something else, which is not even a concrete thing. Therefore, you really have no chance of guessing what "what" actually is. So I win. You lose.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

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Q: How do you make a black man think you're racist? A: Racism

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven.

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your mom is so lesbian that in prder to have you she planted a seed in her vagina because she refused to have sex with a man

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Why did they serve Swiss cheese at the church? It was lunchtime.

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How many cows does it take to put in a lightbulb? Well, you see, it depends how many cows it takes to put in a lightbulb.

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What's fat and ugly? Your face ... But only if its fat and ugly

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How do you avoid dying? You can't everything dies.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He chickened out.

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hey i just met you,but this is crazy, my name is kony and i just took your baby

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My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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