Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He realized what he'd gotten himself into and became severely depressed

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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There are 500 bricks on an airplane. If you drop one out, how many are left? 499. There are three steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator. What are they? Open the fridge, put the elephant in, close the fridge. There are four steps to putting a deer in the fridge. What are they? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the deer in, close the fridge. The Lion King is having a birthday party. All the animals are there but one. Why is that? The deer is in the fridge. A woman wants to cross an alligator infested swamp. How does she do it? She crosses normally because the alligators are at the Lion King's party. She dies anyways. Why? She gets hit in the head with a brick.

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dyslexic's Untie

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A man walks into an illegal brothel. He is a cop. He takes them back to the police station and questions them in a completely asexual manner.

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thermodynamics?

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Why couldn't Little Johnny read his 3rd grade novel? His was repeatedly stabbed in his eyes.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Q: What do Ethiopians eat at night? A: Nothing.

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What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

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What did Tom get for his 5th Birthday ? Nothing, he died when he was 2 years old

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Q: Why is daddy wrestling mommy? A: Well Jimmy, that is called sexual intercourse. That is how you were created, and many people of all ages engage in this activity every second.

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Wanna hear a joke? Twilight

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daffodils are yellow, Flowers come in lots of colours...

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What do you call a black man selling drugs? average

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"KNOCK KNOCK". I opened the door to greet my guests for the party.

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Q: which of the following is a prime number? A: 17

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The elephant moonwalked. On the moon.

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What's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies? My wife didn't cheat on me in a pile of dead babies.

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What's worse than finding another worm in your apple? Another Holocaust

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Q: Why didn't the chicken cross the road. A: because he's a chicken?

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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