What's the difference between a police officer and a green dinosaur? They both aren't cabbages.

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Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

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Hi

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How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

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Once a upon a time there was a girl named Cinderella. She rubbed a magic lamp and a genie appeared. Then a guy named Larry Harry walks into a laundry mat. 7 days later she died.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Looks like this is a *puts on sunglasses* Pair of sunglasses

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"Hey guys lets have a standing obviation." No one else stands....

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what is long and bare? polonaise to the pediatric ward what is short and bald? same polonaise, 3 weeks later

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

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If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

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Mamma why did the kids make fun of me today? I dont know.

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Q: Do these jeans make me look fat? A: No your fat makes you look fat.

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what is big and white? the moon

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What did the man at the haberdashery say? Six and seven-eighths, bub, six and seven-eighths.

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What did the ant say when he walked in the club. . . Nothing he was immediately stepped on.

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A young gay man comes out of the closet to his conservative, Christian parents. Everything went better than expected.

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THAT AWKWARD MOMENT... nuff said

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What do you call it when you almost win? You lose.

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Why was the boy sad The boy wanted a puppy for his Birthday So his parents got him a Toy dog Later that year he was found dead with the Toy Dog shoved down his mouth gagging him.

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Knock knock Who is there Banana Banana who Knock knock Who's there Banana Banana who Knock knock WHO'S THERE orange ...orange who Orange you glad I'm a cop here to tell you your family died in a horrible mask murdering and didn't say bannana again?

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Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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