Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

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How does an asian man drive? He hops into the car, turns the ignition, slowly accelerates from his parking spot and merges into everyday traffic

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A man cooks dinner almost every night even though his wife is the better cook, and the man is in charge of the household. Why? Because the man isnt a sexist douchebag.

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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roses arent always red, they can be pink or white. violets are violet, not blue. your pretty lets have sex.

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Q: Whats different about pizza and jewish people? A: Pizzas don't scream in the oven.

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Lady Gaga didn't have anything to wear to the playboy party.

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Man says, "Hello" Girl, "Do you wanna go out?" Man, "With you?" Girl, "YES!" Man, "NO, bye!"

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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If no means yes and yes means no, what is yes? Yes

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How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

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"Why do children's movies show everything in that happens in the movie in the trailer?" "The same reason I show children everything that's inside of my trailer."

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Wanna hear a hot headed retard? call and listen carefully 6196342668

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If you live in the 'living' room, what do you do in the others? You die.

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what is 6.9? a good thing ruined by a period

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A gay man goes out with a butch lesbian and develops a loving relationship, years later they get married and have kids, adopting them from the local orphanage and lives happily ever after.

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What would George Washington be doing if he was alive today? Scratching and screaming at the bottom of his coffin.

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Why did the boy jizz?...........he was getting a blowjob!!!

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? - Getting killed in the Holocaust. Whats worse than that? - Nothing.

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Why did the boy go to heaven? He was in an airplane.

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Q. Why is the road black? A. One hundred million dollars!

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Whats better than giving birth to a disabled son? A Blowjob

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Q. What red and scratches glass A. a baby in an oven

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Two Drunks walk out of a bar. They look down an alley and see a dog licking his balls. The first drunk says" Man, I wish I could do that." The second guy replies " Well you better pet him first."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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