What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Wow, fuzzy feelings, you just made my top 10.000 friends list. Jk, you my favorite girl right now, I mean my wife is always my favorite, but the kind of love I feel for you, is a completely different kind of love, I consider it the sum of who you are, and I cant say I love you the same, because it is a completely different feeling. Wow, I cant believe I am typing this on horsehead network, by the way Red, you better get out of here, or I am going to have to shut your operations down, sorry for getting serious in the middle of this, but we can meet and be friends, if you promise to take good care of my new friend (you), but getting out of this site, you and your crew. So, sex whenver you feel like and friends for life? How does that sound? I prefer long term agreements.

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Why did a black man toss a bowl into the air? Because he just got it from the microwave and it was extremely hot.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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Kevin stinks signed Taggart. Is this how you do it!!!

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Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind.

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Your mom is intimately familiar with many mens' penis due to her many years as a successful urologist.

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Roses are black, violets are black. I'm blind.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Plumber, ma'am." "Thank God you're here. I haven't been able to take a shower in three days."

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why did corey cross the road? the green man flashed.

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What do you call an African American witch doctor dressed in ceremonial robes flying a plane? A Pilot.

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Choir.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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what the hell happened to your face

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A Black man and a Hispanic man were sitting in the back seat of a car. Who was driving? Their Asian friend who offered to take them to get lunch.

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my goldfish never writes me back when i send him letters

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How many people does it take to screw a light bulb? One, it's all the sex they can get.

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Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

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Why couldn't the blind man drive? His sight impairment made him unable to fulfill the task without harming himself and potentially other people.

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what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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