Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because he had legs.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Betty. Answer the door!

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Why was the lady afraid of cooking? Because her husband always beat her with a frying pan

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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What do you do if you see a man on the street with a pineapple up his bum? Take him to the hospital to have the pineapple removed professionally. It could be potentially dangerous for his health.

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Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

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Why was the kindergartener crying in the corner? His family was poor and his father abused him.

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why are the inside of a black mans hand white? cotton residue

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Knock Knock. Who's there? God. God Who? ::Apocalypse follows::

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Doctor, doctor, it hurts when I hit my head with a hammer!! Dont hit your head with a hammer anymore.

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How did you know it was bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When his clock's big hand met the little hand, usually at 10 or 11, though sometimes later if he had a concert that night.

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Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

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There's a study that the population of Americans are very high in America.

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

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What's funnier than Carrot Top and Dane Cook combined? Almost anything.

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what happened when u got some swag? i don't know u still don't have any

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What did the German say to the Rabbi? Hello. The German was also Jewish

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what do you call a sock that is no longer white a dirty sock

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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yo mama's so fat, she wears a big belt

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LOL -LOL GUY

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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