So this chat, the talk on the phone was all a ruse?

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Yo mama's has so much acne, I decided to give her proactive.

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The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

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A Panda walks into a bar and orders a drink, he then shoots the bartender and leaves. The people are shocked and the panda is arrested.

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a man shoots his mother in-law He his charged with murder and will only be eligible for parole in 18 months

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Rhyming is hard, Zebra.

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A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears, realizing that his life as he knew it is over, and recognizing the horrible burden he is about to become on his family, both financially and emotionally.

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What's green and black? Grass with wheels.

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Have you ever heard the story of Mikey Braford? Every morning when he was little, his father would fill a gym sock with nickels and beat him with it. Mikey has severe attachment disorder and frequent suicidal thoughts.

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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My nieghbor is blonde, but she doesnt like corn dogs or anything of that sort because her boyfriend is mexican. Mexcans are banned from eating corn dogs because they illegally crossed the border. Her dog wieghs about 8.9485763 pounds. Her nieghbor also protests corndogs because she cant fit throught her customized door which was 39 feet long. Why was six afraid of seven? because that lady is 700 pounds.

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Why do depressed people like sharp knives? Cause there good for cutting Salad

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What's a lil plus a lot A little more then a lot

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What did the fish say when it was being fried? That's crazy, fish can't talk.

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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Where was Suzy during the explosion? Everywhere! Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

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whats yellow after cani...nathan

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why was the man sad? his wife died

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whats green and has wheels grass and i lied about the wheels

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Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

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There once was a man from Peru, he dreamt he was eating his shoe, he then woke up, took a shower, changed, and drove to work.

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What did mr smith say when a student asked for math help? ok

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When Glenn looks in the mirror all he sees is Nicole Sipes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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