I swear to god it wasnt me Dont swear to go its a sin !

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive? A:Because she is a woman A: She is blind deaf and dumb A: No seriously because she is dead.

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What does a baby sound like being cooked in the microwave. I don't know I was to busy masterbating.

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Why was the black woman poor? Well, she grew up in a wealthy family, but both of her parents died. Her new parents were not very supportive and she began to not care about school. She did not go to college because of this and was not able to get a job. Therefore, she had no money.

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers. Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done. Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time. When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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Why did the man throw the baby at the brick wall? I don't know, but that is a tragic incident and I will now go mourn.

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Why did the cat throw up on the couch? because it was nauseous!

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What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

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Why did the murder walk up to the lady in the car? It was his mom.

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Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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What is the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry Potter escapes the chamber.

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I like your hair

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had bullied 6 and his old pal 21 back in his younger days.

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Why did the kid start to cry? His parachute didn't open.

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If I was in a room with Osama bin laden and george bush, and my friend. And I had a gun with two bullets, I'd shoot my friend twice.

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Why did Rebecca Black die? She killed herself due to the cruelty of many people

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Your momma's eyesight is so weak she needs a pair of glasses to see properly

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a man is running away

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www.xnxx.com

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Knock Knock. Whos there? I am the danger! Danger who? I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!

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Roses are Expensive. Violets are Gay. Poems are for pussies... Have a nice day!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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