Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the family sad? Their house burnt down.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

how do you say desk in spanish? escritorio

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is the different between a blonde and a rock? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Yo mamma so black, she uses armor all instead of lotion...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: How do you keep a carnival fish for more than a week? A: Place it in formaldehyde when you get home

thumb_up thumb_down

What did Lady Gaga say to Justin Timberlake? "I love the Backstreet Boys!" Justin Timberlake Replied with a Bazooka.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Vote this down and get DOXED

thumb_up thumb_down +21

There was a chicken. It squarked.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Not really a anti joke: Superman is flying over town when he suddenly spots a completely naked Spiderwoman moaning and all sweaty while rubbing her her legs, This gets Superman really h0rny but does not want to get caught, so he flies down and bangs away so fast nobody notices a thing a thing and leaves. Spiderwoman: Hey honey whats wrong? Please come lie on top of me again! Invisible Man: AAAAAAARGH!!! IT FEELS LIKE I HAVE A DAMN BOWLING BALL UP MY ASS HOLE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? I don't know, he couldn't open it.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

My Nan, that is all.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call the fear of anteaters? Stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is red and has seven dents? Snow White's Cherry.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

DEATH.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the cow say to the other cow? How should i know? Go ask them.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

mom:why oh why are you such an idiotic nuisance? bobby:THATS HOW YOU WANTED ME BORN!!REMEMBER?you asked the doctor to put something in me to make me so stupid i wouldnt remember WHO gave birth to me!!

thumb_up thumb_down -50

What is the black stuff between elephants toes? Slow natives

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: It didn't do it for any good reason,chickens are mindless and do random things,like crossing the road

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead black guy in the road? It doesn't matter, I cried after both

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops