How do u keep annoying children off your front lawn? Molest Them.

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mom:why oh why are you such an idiotic nuisance? bobby:THATS HOW YOU WANTED ME BORN!!REMEMBER?you asked the doctor to put something in me to make me so stupid i wouldnt remember WHO gave birth to me!!

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Dracula." "Dracula who?" He pulls his cape up to his face and says, "May the force be with you,"

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

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Do you know what they say? Words

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Why did the referee go to the zoo? He likes animals

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What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the giraffe say to the walrus? Nothing. Giraffes can't talk. What did the Scotsman say to the walrus? Nothing. Scotsmen can't talk.

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What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and one in the evening? A dog that plays in traffic all day.

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How do you feed 1000 people? Cook 1000 meals .

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roses are red unless they are the pink ones oh yeah they're also pretty expensive

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I would have made you laugh, but that is not the point is it? Moral: What do you expect from the 4th most pointless invention?

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. You wife was killed in an accident.

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Why was the napkin wet? Some water was on it

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Why did the paraplegic die in a fire? He couldn't get down the stairs.

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Why was 13 afraid of 27 Because 51 had an extra penis

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Why was the guy on top of the van It was his funeral

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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What do you get when an elephant and a pig have baby? Nothing, mating between animals must take place between animals of the same species, thus making it impossible to cross these two animals

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

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Where did a homeless man find his easter eggs? In the bin.

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How dis the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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Q.What do Santa Clause and a grape have in common? A.They both have beards. Except for the grape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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