What can fly, but can not swim? Malaysia Airlines Flight 370

What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

Why did America nuke Japan? Because Japan bombed Pearl Harbor.

Whats the difference between boyscouts and jews? Boyscouts come home from camp.

Leslie's husband admitted to being gay, which came to the surprise of no one, seeing as Leslie is a man.

A duck walks into a over 7-11 and says "Give me some Chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

What is stupid? I would say you but these jokes are worse.

A Priest in a Rabbi walk into a bar. They talk about religion.

What do you call a black person who can't see? Blind

How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

Your big dick.

what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

Small breasts.

WNBA

A blind man accidentally walks into a gay bar. The bartender escorted him out and pointed him in the right direction.

what did the kid say when he didnt see the ice and sliped and broke his arm ouch that beep hurt

If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

A wife asks her husband to treat her like she's special. So he tells her, "Gooooooooooo... Maaaaaaaaaaaaake... Meeeeeeee.... Aaaaaa.... Saaaaaaaandwitch

What is the biggest lie in the world How the **** should I know

Why is the alien dead as a door-nail? Because the door-nail was never alive nor could it ever be dead therefore the alien must have never existed just like the life and death of the door-nail.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He grew tired of hearing the most over-used joke set up in recorded history.

how do you poke a chinese person in the eye? with a credit card!

what do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? An horse

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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