what do you sit on, poop on, and sleep on? a bed, a toilet, and a chair

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i am in sex mode, why the F**k are you!!

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What did the clam say to the scuba diver? FUCK MAN! STOP TOUCHING MY JEWELS! WOULD YOU WANT ME TO JUST RIP YOURS AND TAKE THEM WITH ME!

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A:Why did the chicken cross the road? B:To get The Daily.....Do you get it. A:No. B:Me neither..I get The Times.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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One jew, three Canadians and a Dutch man walk into the bar. The jew buys a beer for the Dutch guy, then the Dutch guy responds with.. "Thank you."

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Knock Knock! Come in.

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What's worse than finding a worm in ur Apple? Finding a worm in ur poop

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Person 1: Did you hear the one about the guy who drank vinegar? Person 2: No Person 1: Oh

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

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What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't have to cook an onion to eat it.

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Why are people in Africa dying? because the majority of them have a lack of food and fresh water which effects their health.

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why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

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Whats Black and White and Red all over? A white boy who just got jumped, with sever bruises left lying in a pool of his own blood.

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

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Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

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what class did Jimmy get an A in? None, he is dyslexic

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What did the unicorn eat for a snack? Nothing. Unicorns are a majestic fiction animal.

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Whats worse than finding a jew in your bed. Jake skellern

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What do you call a poldo thats hafl poldo a

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Your hat is not on you head. Where is it On you head

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Studies prove that bald people have no hair?.

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What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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