Where does the Queen keep her armies? In various military bases across the country.

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What happened to the Chicken who crossed the road? It made it to the other side!

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you through them.

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How do you make a sausage roll? Wrap some sausage meat in a pastry dough made of plain flour, water, salt and fat, and bake it in an oven.

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Q: What did one poor guy say to the other poor guy? A: We're both black

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What is purple pink and goes over 10000 miles per hour. Barnney in a tornado

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troll lololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol.olo90ololol.o.ool.olololol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.o.o.lol.ol.ol.ol.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A. From a catalogue.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe. -Tag

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How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Too get to the other side. Duuu no one crosses the road to get killed.

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Mother Mary held her daughter 20 minutes under water. Not to save her from her troubles, just to see the funny bubbles

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Sarah Jessica Parker

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Your mother was a hamster, And your father smelt of ElderBerries!

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Do you know whats funny? No do you know i was asking a question

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan? Their last names.

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I'm hungry.

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So a blonde was trying to peel a banana, but she couldn't because she was viciously attacked by chimpanzees and had all her fingers bitten off

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Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

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What is the difference between a duck? one of its legs is both the same.

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What's worse than breaking your arm? Blonde Girls

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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