What do you call it when a blonde jumps off the Empire State Building without a parachute? Suicide.

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Knock-knock jokes with sjws: Knock knock! Who's there? A transgender! A transgender who? WOW. It's 2016, people. If you can't recognize a transgender, you're a disgusting piece of cis white male scum! OH! OHH! "I'm sorry lady"? Do I LOOK like a lady to you? I'm a- no- sir- stop interrupting me. SIR! I identify as a gender fluid demisexual! "What does that matter?" Oh my god. Well it wouldn't matter if I identified as a goddamn piece of salami to you would it??? Huh? I'm confusing you? WOW! What a priveleged- oh! So I'M being rude? OKAY! FINE! I'm recording this you know. You're going ALL over the Internet. Oh yes you are! No, hey, my privilege cam! You just took it this is rape! You are assaulting me! Don't just shove it back into my hands like that! I call patriarchy! Oh no, I'm not done with you! Don't you close that door you Goddamn piece of sh- *slam*

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What did the dancing amphibious landing craft say to the carrot faced caterpillar? wanna get in its cold

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why do jews have such big noses? A: it has been inherited through many generations

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roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

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u r stupid! y? cuz u took the time 2 look at are jokes! haha lol

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What do you call a person mowing a lawn? A Mexican

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Q: What do you call a dog with metal balls and two-inch legs? A: Animatronic

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why did the man hop everywhere? He only had one leg

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how many jews can you fit into a car 5, two in the front three in the back

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Why did stevie get stabbed in the jugular by his sister? He was telling bad anti jokes.

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There was a man with a job and kids. One day he came home from his job and went to sleep. He never woke up because it turns out he had a heart attack.

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A man walks into a bar and the barenter says, "What'll it be?" The man says, "I'll take a Bud Light."

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What`s red and smells like blue paint? A sunburned baby drinking green paint.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Q: You know what's worse than being a mother? A: Almost everything, because being a mother is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a wonderful thing.

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A.do i have alzheimer's? B.yes A.do i have alzheimer's?

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Why did Sally fall off a tree? She wanted to get down

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What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

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Why didn't Susie's dad come home on time? He was dragged into a dark alley, then stabbed in the eye. When his body was found 2 days later, Susie couldnt stand the loss and hung herself the day after her father was found.

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Roses are red, violets are red, Tulips are red, bushes are red.... WTF MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE.

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A man walked into a bar. He stayed for a bit and had a good time.

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*knock knock* "Who's there?" "It's the police, I'm afraid your husband was in a car crash and died."

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Q: why are black people so much darker than white people? A: genetics.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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