Why does the sultan of Turkey wear red suspenders? So that his pants wouldn't fall down.

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Whats the best part about being alive? Not getting hit by a bus

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Beans beans, they're good for your heart, the more you eat the less at risk you become to such health problems as diabetes and heart attacks. The increased carbohydrates and antioxidant properties maintain a manageable balance for the body's digestive system to maintain a good constant internal environment.

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What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? Lots of stuff.

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What do you call a man with a gun? An accident waiting to happen.

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What is the difference between a white gut and a black guy? The level of melanin in their skin.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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When life gives you lemons. Don't take things from strangers

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A jew, a black, and a gay are walking together. The black points out a new house.

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"It's A Bird!!!" "It's A Plane!!!" "No, It's not either of those things."

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Q: What comes first the chicken or the egg? A: Pineapple.

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Nero, its not that, people are leaving left and right, you where right when you told me that I was holding into the remains of a rotting corpse, the underground society is dead and money alone will never bring it back, but I got the funds and you the talent, is there nothing that can be achieved? You are a lawyer, you write novels, you live a family life, you work for who the hell knows what organization, is this what you traded your, or if I may say, our legacy for? I dont suspect you Nero, I am disappointed in you, part of me wishes you where a backstabber, rather than the one that just quit.

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A man's car broke down on a lonely country road in the middle of a stormy night. Spotting a light in a farmhouse nearby, he made his way there through the mud and driving rain, and knocked on the door. The farmer who lived there answered, and said what while he didn't have any room in the house, the barn would provide shelter and warmth until morning. Thankful for the hospitality, the stranded man made his way to the barn and made a place to sleep in the hay. As the lightning flickered outside, briefly illuminating the barn's interior, he noticed knot-holes in the wood of the stall walls, and the hoses of a milking machine laying nearby. He then fell fast asleep. The farmer woke him up in the morning, and together they rode on a tractor to the road to make the necessary repairs to the man's automobile, but only after enjoying a country breakfast prepared by the farmer's wife and lovely eighteen year old daughter.

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How do you take a Mexican's money? You can't because they have none.

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What do You call a man with no arms or legs? Dead, He died of blood loss 3 hours ago

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Whats worse than breaking your Xbox? Being raped by your dad.

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Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Starving children in africa.

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Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwimg out all the W&Ws

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Roses are red, Violets are Violate and not fucking blue.

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Why couldn't the blonde have kids? She had Ovarian Cancer.

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a horse walks into a bar. Noticing the potentially dangerous situation everyone leaves, the bartender calls RSPCA who come and retrieve the horse and order is restored.

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Looking's for free... Touching's for free.

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Why was the black man eating fried chicken and watermelon? He was at home

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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