Roses are red, Violets are pretty, look at their team, Surrender at 20.

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You know why Michael J. Fox makes really good milkshakes? ... because he uses the best ingredients

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What did the mother give her family on christmas? Some gelt, dreidels, and Challah because it also happened to be Chanukah on Christmas that year

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Why did the chicken eat fried chicken? Because fried chicken is so good! Kelvin Yang.

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A man walks into a bar, and is brutally slaughtered by eight drunk customers.

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what do you call a unicorn crossing a bridge? nothing there fake

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Me. Me Who? Me. Uh.

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A jewish lady is cleaning a house to make some extra money. Its great that she can still find work in this economy.

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a blonde girl gets behind the wheel of a car. and drives to her community college for her morning class

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What's the same between grapes and squirrels? They're both purple, except for the squirrel.

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What did the Watermelon say to its baby? I'll SEED you later!

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Why does people with tourettes curse so much? Fuck should I know?

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A russian, a jew, and a black guy are walking down the street. The midget trips and knocks into the jew who in turn knocks into the black guy. It turns out that they all know each other from high school. They ended up going out for lunch and drinks and it actually turned into a great day.

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Person1: Man I had the worst day ever. Person2: Worser than the holocaust.

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what does gum eat ? gum you idiot!

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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Ju... Just why?

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(warning- this is sort of funny) A mom takes her son to cvs to pick up her pills. Son- Mom whats a pharmacists? Mom- well sweetie its a person who sells people drugs Monday Morning Teacher- Class, did you learn anything over the weekend? Son- Yah, i learned that my mommy has been taking me with her every week, to a person who sells drugs Later that week Teacher- Yes, hi, um your son has told me that you take him to buy drugs with you, i may have to call social services Mom- what? this is a misunderstanding, i go to a pharmacists to buy drugs. That evening Mom-what did you tell your teacher at school Son- you've been telling me that i go with you to buy drugs Mom- baby i need pills, well, because, im sick. Son- ohhhhhhhhhhhh ok At school Teacher- Billy ive called s.s on your mom, u will be living with foster parents Son- ohhhhhhhhhhhh ok Evening Police- ?Ms. Thackery, is this your student. Teacher- Yes Police- His mom has tradgicly died in a pool of tears after finding out YOU called s.s Mom- what? omg. DAMN Police- Im afraid u r under arrest for the cause of his mothers death Class- yayyyyyyy wooo hooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Billy Billy Billy Billy. hip hip hooray Teacher- Damn Son- mommy? Police- ur mommy's dead, sucks right sooooooo here's a box and ten bucks......... go live your life

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? Cooked until it reaches an internal temperature of 180 degrees Fahrenheit to lower the risk of contracting diseases such as salmonella.

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What's the difference between a murdered baby and a dead baby? Not much

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Why did Osama bin laden plan 9/11? Same reason Justin bieber was born....

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So a guy with a machine gun walks into a bank, makes a deposite and leaves.

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Try not to laugh at this joke... Knock knock Who's there? Ha ha ha Ha ha ha who? I told you not to laugh

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I like the color potato.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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