Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What kind of shots does John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

In soviet Russia...things are different

thumb_up thumb_down +3

My heart is in my hands. Call an ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

- On the cliff edge are standing three people: an Asian, Jewish and black man. Who's going to fall first? - Who's going to care about this?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did Justin Bieber wake up Lady Gaga? He needed to ask her a question.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

When is it okay for priests to touch underage boys? Ash Wednesday, they have place ash using their hands on the boys foreheads.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the leprechian meleste Justin Bieber? ..... He stole his lucky charms.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because the burglars tied her up and gagged her before they robbed the house and she couldn't do anything until one of the neighbors found her and untied her.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is it called when a Native American Indian man smacks a woman in the face for cheating on him? In police code it's called a "273D Domestic violence - Felony" most likely involving an insecure man with control problems simply adding to the stereotype that Native American's are drunk, abusive and domestically violent people.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did they serve Swiss cheese at the church? It was lunchtime.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Gauss what ur mama said last night nothing i found her dead

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why didn't the cat have any legs? Because it was a snake

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats the deal with airline food? I dont know, the cost is included in the plane ticket

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock. Whos there? I am the danger! Danger who? I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms or legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops