Two muffins sitting in an oven. One muffins says "God its hot in here." The other muffin screams "AHHHH talking muffin!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -82

What is Brown And Sticky ? ......... a Stick

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is the only thing worse than being a smelly Jew in 1944? Being a Jew in 1944 to hit the showers.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a polar bear in the desert? Bobby Marksson.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What does a black guy get for Christmas? your bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Hey girl, the word of the day is "legs". So let's go home and research the origin of the term and possibly conduct other etymological studies.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you make a plumber cry? You steal his princess

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Why is the sun so bright? A: Because it reads books!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

roses are red violets are blue your friend is a scumbag and so are you

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

why did matt daly shit his pants? he had downs

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses and red, Violets are blue, This type of poem, Must always rhyme.

thumb_up thumb_down -84

What is the difference between 1 and 2? 2 is a higher number than 1.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

what did the murderer say to the man... i'm going to kill you

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red Violets are blue Actually they're purple That's why they're called "violets"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's fat and ginger? My dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Nobody enjoys your company. Nobody likes your work. Nobody loves you. There is no person who's name is legitimately nobody.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

"knock, knock" "who is there?" Gestapo

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops