When life gives you lemons you have lemons.

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Q: how many oxen does it take to row up the empire state building in half of a green canoe under the purple sun while eating a dead moose with no arms? A: Purple, because snakes have no elbows.

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teacher: say ur alphabet kid: abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwuxyz kid:wheres the pee teacher:half way down my leg

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A man orders chinese food. His wife says "Honey, where's the cat?"

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What did one black guy say to the other black guy? I haven't thought of it yet....

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when a friend comes over and says: hey, do you have a bathroom??? NO!!! I shit in my yard!!!!!

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What do you call a man floating in a pool with his arms chopped off? A murder victim.

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Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

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What did the woman say to the man before she had sex with him? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

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What did the lion say on a hot day in Africa? Nothing, lions can't talk.

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What did Batman's mother say when it was time for dinner? Nothing, Batman's parents are dead.

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how do you beat the system? throw your xbox out a window.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

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do you know what was a good idea? not last night

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Why couldn't billy hear his mom on the phone? Because Billy is deaf.

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What do call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

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An aspiring lawyer walks into a Bar. He will find out if he passed in a few months.

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what's black and has a huge sac? A negro

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I just witnessed a horrible accident today! It was like a silent movie, but with SOUND!!!!

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Paul walks on a bridge. It collapses.

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LIFE INSERT COIN TO BEGIN!!! SELECT DIFFICULTY EASY

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What did one friend say on his friend's myspace page? You need a Facebook

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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