What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +6,892

hi will

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's has 4 wheels But ain't a blue car A red car

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did Einstein say to the blonde? 'What specific part of the theory don't you understand?'

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

John Cena

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the rose look so brown? Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +8

DON'T OPEN IT IT'S PANDORA'S BOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did the little boy cross the road? because he had been raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Holy shit Lawman! Next thing we know Nero comes back from the death! Seriously get over here stat and get "my men" under control here! So that last damn Moral was for you! I never understood why he picked me, so he never picked me at all... Man am I relieved! Do you ever fucking get tired of playing the hero? I basically ended up declaring war on Nero`s on people here, what should I do?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse then the Holocaust? Two Holocausts

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's tan, red, black and brown? Your face. Two days later... In the mausoleum. "Your face"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

James: They say attitudes are contagious. Bill: How do you know? James: My whole family caught it and they will all die within 2 weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

say it ten times fast: oh

thumb_up thumb_down +6

3021 North Broadway Avenue

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

thumb_up thumb_down -4

there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops