How do mummies keep there secrets wrapped up? They are dead.

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what did the chicken cross the road? because its a chicken

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what did the african child get for his birthday? water, it is a very scare resource were he comes from and is considered a great present

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An Asian, a white man and a black man were running in a race. The Asian won and the black man came second due to his lack of training and motivation over the past couple of months.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The electrician, I'm here to fix your door bell.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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what did the noob say to the gamer your a gamer nooob

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Whats worse than 911..? The plane ride there.

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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What do you call a black man on a bike? A hard-working individual who found a steady job and earned enough money to buy a bicycle of his own which he rides to and from his job because he is healthy, doesn't like to waste money on gas, and doesn't like the pollution automobiles put into the air. By Darragh Hamilton

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Q: Where do zombies shop? A: Zombercrombie.

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Where did jimmy go when the bomb exploded.... (Everywhere )

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why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

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If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

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What do you call a black man in church? Religious

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Why did the girl fall off her bike? she got a fridge thrown at her

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Why do you put babies in the blender feet first? To hear them scream.

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what starts with 's' and ends in 'ex' and muslims get a stiffy from it semtex.

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Q: What Jews are doing in Palestine? A: Living.

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Whats worse then getting stabbed in the trachea by a aids infected knife? getting pounded anally by satan

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Hey, did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No He didn't either.

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What do you say to a black man in the morning? Good morning

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Why did the black man fall down? A guy pushed him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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