What happened to the cat How should I know it's not my cat

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Why cant steve get a job? Because Steve Jobs is DEAD! Moral: And people are all like "you gotta respect the dead", uh... Why not respect people while they are alive? Humanity is so fucking "smart" sometimes ya? Not that your answer matters...

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How are friends and trees alike? They fall down when you hit them with an ax.

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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A man says to his doctor, "doctor, doctor, I think I have a split personality." The doctor responds, "That makes 4 of us."

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Knock Knock Business Man: Who's There? Al Qeada Business Man: Al Qeada who? Al Qeada is flying an airplane into your building Then a commercial airplane flew into the oddly placed door on the 95th floor of the North Tower. That's how 9/11 happened. Have a nice day.

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what has one ear, one leg, one eye, one arm, and is Jewish half a Jew

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A moose walks into a grocery store. He goes over to a cashier and says, "On what aisle are the potates?" The cashier replies, "Aisle 4." The moose went to aisle 4 AND THERE WERE NO POTATOES!

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What colour is a black man in a freezer black

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What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

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Gadaffi

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Whats worse than it raining on your birthday? 911

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what is the worst thing a bout four black men driving a Cadillac off a cliff? they were my friends

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jack and jill went up a hill so jack could lick jills candy but jack got a shock and a mouth full of C O C K cause jill's real name was randy... ... and joe diragi liked it

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Whats funnier than Dane Cook. The Holocaust.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mom. Your mom who? Its your mom now open the danm door!

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Why was the chair sad? It wasn't, for chairs do not posses the proper attributes to feel emotions such as depression.

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A man agreed with a camel. The camel didn't agree. ... (This joke does only make sense in the Dutch language.)

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Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a poop poop fart turd fart, dildo

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a sludge hammer, the other is a watermelon

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Why did the boy run down the road? Because he was being chased by a tsunami

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chuck norris's daughter lost her virgenatie but he got it back

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How do you spell eight? 8

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What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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