I like my women how I like my coffee; without a penis.

Q: How do you make a baby cry? A: Throw a brick at it.

There are two muffins in the oven. The first says to the other, "Its getting hot in here." The second, befuddled, replies, "AHH! A talking muffin!"

what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

In 1843 when Man invented the moon, people set sail on ironclad ships to lands that sold items that weren't for sale in similar such stores in other lands not reachable by ironclad ships or dirigibles as they became known once they changed form completely and were a differentobject entirely and of no use for water transport. That's when the real revolution in telecommunications began, the truck drivers would use CB radios as early as 1287 and 1276 in Canada. the CB radio enabled the users to order pizza and develop symbiotic relationshiops with canvas. Amongst other things.

A man comes home to find his wife in bed with another man. He then joins them.

What's the difference between a Mexican and a picnic table? The average picnic table can support a family of four, while a Mexican person, depending on his or her career, can support families that include over four people.

Why can't Heller Keller drive? Because she was blind.

An Irishman walked out of a bar. A Frenchman was polite. An Englishman had beautiful teeth.

Roses are red. My name is dave. This poem makes no sense. Microwave.

What's white and yellow with red all over? Vietnam War

Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would've noticed and avoided it.

How do you get someone to come out of the closet? Unlock it

What did the blonde say to the brunette? I just ate a chicken panini.

Who gets more action than my best friend Reese? My raped cousin....

Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I jack off

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A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

Yo Momma is so ugly she probably doesn't have any friends.

Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

Your mom is so nice.

why did the man steal change from the tip jar? he wanted another state quarter for his collection

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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