Did you hear about the sale on the toyota cars from japan? if you can get it out of the water its free!

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A brick bent down to suck my flapjack, Then he got stuck, oh what the unpleasant, This angered the brick, he lay on the grass, he shoved a stick straight up his bellybutton.

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How do you get a baby into a bowl? Use a blender. How do you get the baby out of the bowl? Tortilla chips.

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why did the man beat his wife because he was mean

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What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

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a bald man walks into a hairdressers and demands beans on toast.

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Two drums and a sybol fall off the edge of a cliff. They hit a random pedestrian at the bottom killing him instantly. da-dum ch

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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A kid walked into a bar and ordered a drink and then was arrested for drinking under the age of 18

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What's better than having an iPad? I don't know, I lost both my hands.

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Whats lemon scented and you shouldn't drink? Bleach

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Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

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A man goes to his doctor and says, "Help me, my wife thinks she's a chicken." The doctor recommends a nearby psychiatrist to analyze the wife's mental instability, and inevitably she is housed in an insane asylum. The husband commits suicide.

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Get out of the way everybody, a group of elephants are tumbling down the mountain!

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What do you call a redneck virgin? A seven year old who can run faster than her brothers.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, I have amnesia.

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knock knock Come in.

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roses are red orchids are black I like you best when you lye on your back

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Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

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what's one thing we're all tired of but they still make? Those crappy love songs.

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What liquid is white and sticky and annoying to get on your hand? Glue.

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Why did the little girl die Because she was kidnapped by a rapist, and defiled repeatedly, and then to get a ransom from her family the kidnapper slowly pulled out her fingernails and toenails, and sent them to the family the same thing happened with her fingers, toes, hands, feet, arms, legs, teeth, tounge, hair, and eyes, then she died of blood loss after nearly 2 months of torture.

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Roses are red violets are flowers jordan and me did it for hours If you know what i mean xxx

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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