Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To pick up the remains of the thousands of his friends that lost their lives to this joke.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant scorpion.

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Why didn't the lolipop taste like anything to the boy beacuse he was aborted

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Guess What!? What?! GIGGITY GIGGITY GOOOOOOOOO!!!!! (ALL RIGHT) OH.

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Why do females have boobs? So they can breast feed their babies.

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Dyslexia ruels!

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the waterhorse is a beautiful creature. It often frolics through fields of wheat.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back.... and that's it because the holocaust never happened.

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Adam: knock knock!! Eve: who's there? Adam: don't be silly, just open the f*cking door!!

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Approximately 75 pounds of wood a day

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"hey woody can i ask you a question" "sure buzz" "why is it your name is woody but they use me as a vibrator"

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My face isn't long relative to the others of my species, it is actually quite normal."

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K.

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. I don't know what happens next, I got the fuck out of there before shit went down

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What is the biggest fictional book ever made? Either the Bible, or the Dictionary.

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What's it called when Justin Bieber has sex? Sex. The specific person partaking in sexual intercourse does not change the term used to describe it.

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Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

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Why does Santa wear sleigh bells? Because he's got leprosy.

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Whats green and has wheels?? - Grass, I lied about the wheels

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What didn't last long? You in the bed

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What do you call 4 black guys in a red sleeping bag? Kit Kat. What do you call a fat black guy in a red sleeping bag? Kit Kat Chunky.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops