What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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Why did the plane crash? -Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your neighbor. Ok, Come in.

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What is a dogs favorite color? Gray due to the fact that they cant see any other color

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What's black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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What do you call a mexican working at Taco Bell? An intelligent young man who recently graduated from high school, but due to his family's lack of money, he cannot pay for college, which is one of the reason's why he is working. He also needs money becuase he has a child on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection while having intoxicated relations with his girlfriend. I wish him the best of luck!

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your mama smells so bad she should probably go take a shower.

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A black man, a white man and a Mexican are in a car... Who is driving... A police man

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How does Bob Marley like his donuts? He doesn't, he tragically died of melanoma in 1981.

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A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? over 100

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why was 6 jealous of 7? 7 had a huge dick.

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Why did the nervous man jump out of a plane? He was sky diving.

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holocaust is bad but its funny when you use it as a joke hehe

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A doctor rides in his Mercedes Benz through a rough, poor part of town. He sees a homeless person who is begging for money. The doctor stops and gets out of his car and asks "Ill give you some money if you need it for food". The homeless person then shoots and kills the doctor, takes his wallet, and buys crack.

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Why did a little kid's mom let go of his hand? John Wilks Booth shot her

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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What do Elephants and Grapes have in common? They are both purple, except the Elephant.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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What's the worst joke ever? Justin Bieber.

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What do you say to a womam with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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