Wgat did the umpire say to the asian batter? Foul ricebowl!

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How old are you? 7

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Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin says, "Boy it's hot in here." The second says, "It sure is." Both muffins then faint from heat exhaustion and are eaten to death when taken out of the oven And thus tragically, the world would never know of the spectacular talking muffins.

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Why was Joey bad at playing the trumpet? He had no fingers.

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 magnum and murdered her violently.

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Q: What did the Black Man say to the Mexican Fellow Guy? A: Hello.

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Woman: If you were my husband, I've give you poisoned wine. Winston Churchill: Madame, if you were my wife, I would hope we could have enough love to attempt marriage counseling so as to work out these issues.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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Why do gingers have red hair? Its genetically encoded in their DNA

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What did grandma get little Benjamin for Christmas? Nothing, she died last year

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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? She got kicked in the face by a mule.

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A White guy invites his Black friends into his house, he says "Make yourself at home." THEY DO

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Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

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What did the black man say to the white man standing next to him? Hi

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Agricultural production fell significantly.

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

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What do Michael Jordan and LeBron James have in common? They both have won NBA championships...except for Lebron.

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Who is the funniest guy on this planet? Mike the Situation.

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Want to burn 3000 calories in under 5 MINUTES? Take a store bought pizza and put it in the over for as long as you want. Just watch the calories burn away in a puff of smoke!

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What do you Call L.L. Cool J's mexican cousin? El El Bean

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What did the doctor say to the man with cancer? You have cancer.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Who killed Lincoln Nobody knows

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My life :(

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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