Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer Roses are red

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hey i just met you and this is crazy... but loose my number and keep the baby LOL

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So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

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Of course, the capacity to create a better society, is well within the natural limits of humankind, we do not need Gods in order to be strong, honorable kind, respectful, and so on, we do not need empty promises. We only need, to use our potential as humans, believe in it, and do our best only, if we desire the best results, take care of those that suffer, and believe that they will be there for us when we need them. We can all do it, humanity, yet choosing a lifestyle where we become peasants or soldiers, all promised happiness AFTER we have lived our lives, is what the people have decided. This is the extent of the average man and woman, even if it is far beyond the power of humanity.

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What did the black man say while getting mauled by a jungle cat? "Help im dying", as the animal riped him peice by peice with fear in his eyes he died slowly as the jungle cat draged him back to its den helplessly he fades away and the animal eats him.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? -- Because it was dead Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -- Because it was stapled to the squirrel

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because their both fruits.

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Robin, get in the Bat-mobile!

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what did helen keller say to the nazi? -nothing, helen keller was blind and deaf so she could never aquired the ability to speak

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Knock knock Whos there? FUS ROH DAH

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Ill do a lot more than just try you, anyways, technically I learned to play the piano as a kid, but now I play on a small cheap keyboard (the musical kind) and sincerely, I kinda suck at it now, my abusive parents expected perfection beat the shit out of me blahblahblah, thats really all of it, trauma. My senses, well, when I was a kid I was terrified of gravity (one of the rarest fears in the world) because I had no idea I was consciously shifting things myself. So lets say... If I somehow end up hanging upside down, I just shift it, so my brain believes I am not and I experience no discomfort, there is a lot more to it, ill tell you, damn nose wont stop bleeding and my waifu got a bit scared, she got some bad bronchitis and she still has not recovered a 100 percent, but its just the cough now though... Lets just say that my ability to balance, is about 300-500 percent higher than any regular human, and that I can stand on one leg enough to beat the guiness record book 50 times... ...IIIIF I was in good shape, which I am not.

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Q: what did the emo girl use to check her email? A: A computer.

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why did the nazi eat the jew? He didn't

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Your mama's so hairy, the only language she knows is wookie.

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I forgot to tell you something I forgot wat it was

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What's black and hangs from a rope on a tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

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What's funnier than New York City? ADAM STOCK! By Logan in South Dakota

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what did the catholic priest say to the little boy? -probably something about god or jesus because they are in church

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A Priest, Rabbi, and a Minister walk into a bar... i forgot the rest of the joke, but your mothers a whore!

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Pikachu says "Pikachu!" Squirtle says "Squirtle!" Charmander says "Charmander!" Ash is upset because he cannot communicate with his Pokemon in their foreign tongue.

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A black man, an Asian man, and a Mexican man jump off a bridge. They were all suffering from chronic depression and couldn't take the pressures of life anymore.

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What's bigger than a moose? An even bigger moose.

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what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, you ***ing racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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