roses are red violets are red? trees are red!? who the hell cut themselves?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What came first: the chicken or the egg? God.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happends to a monkey without arms.. He bleeds..

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? The chicken!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Have you seen the new Spiderman movie yet? No, Uncle ben hasn't seen it either.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Cinema greatest shit final, anime and videogames dont translate well into movies edition: One day... a young man named Tyler Reed, is chased by the notorious bully named Peter Ganondorf... Just then... he coincidentally utters "I AM THE LINK!" And a great lightning bolt strikes him... Tyler Becomes THE LINK! As for Peter Ganondorf... he became a pile of burning ashes... But Just then THE LINK, gets contacted by Jessica Fairy! And receives a important message... The evil Dr.Bullshitious has destroyed the connection without earth and planet Zelda! And that is bad... BECAUSE! Can Tyler Reed use his powers of lightning fast flight, and collect the TWO pieces of the mystic "triforce" to earn the ultimate weapon? The Master gun! Most importantly, can he become THE LINK between Planet Zelda and Earth? *Shows random shots that you cant make shit of like those movies you know suck just from the narration* ZELDA: THE LINK TO PLANET EVOLUTION! Moral: Still better than Dragon Ball Evolution...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

knock knock who's there Bob oh hi, come in

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what did the farmer do? plant

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Roses are grey, Violets are grey. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did the girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? A wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down +2

this is the part where we na na na na every good song needs a na na na na wake up at night screaming na na na na my grandmothers nickname is nana

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What does this and this have in common , wait I was meant to put pictures up, aww

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A priest and a rabbi walk into a mosque.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

One man's trash is another man's treasure is a horrible way to tell a kid that he's adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Time to get a watch

thumb_up thumb_down +323

What happens when you put a squid in the microwave? It dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +117

Q: How do you solve a problem like Maria. A: You kill her. You kill Maria.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are red Violets are blue Does this rag smell Like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did bob marley die because he did also he smoked weed he was naughty!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did Jesus say to his disciples at the Last Supper? Go to Hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -86

How did Hitler fit 100 Jews in his car? Ashes don't take up much space.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

hi bye

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops