KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: what did the man say to the wall A: Nothing it's a wall therefore incapable of talking

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I do not want to know, you want to TELL ME so that I can increase the potency of the hypnotic suggestion by... Lets say... A number that if I said would work instantly? I wrote CONDOMS ARE FOR PUZZIES... Which kinda makes sense... Just a line, from the worst game ever.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I bit a horses leg. Why? Because I thought i was a vampire. I also bit my sisters glodfish in half.. Why? Cause I wanted revenge on my sister.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you keep an idiot in suspense..............

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly doesn't contain pieces of fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's better than Jack Daniels? Jack Daniels Jr.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why wasn't the child swimming? It drowned

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock... Whose there? Patrick Oh hey, come in...

thumb_up thumb_down -55

A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

when do you go to heaven? Never

thumb_up thumb_down -262

In Soviet Russia, it is usually cold throughout the year, as it is located in a colder region of the planet.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why are female badgers more attracted to the smell of cheese than male badgers? I don't know. Ask Bill Snodgrass

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Womens Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what's the last thing you want to hear during surgery? your wife complaining

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A zebra and a giraffe are out in a safari and they see some humans. And then the cow, was drinking, the man was milking the drink, when the giraffe was going to buy some milk. She said, the was yeah okay.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red Pickles are green I leik ur legs and whats inbetween

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats uglyand cry , and screams mommy ... you after i bitch slap you

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops