- Anti Joke

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish.

Whats Green and Smells Like Grass? Grass

What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One of them you crack open with a sledgehammer and feast upon, and the other is a dead baby.

What's funnier than Man on Woman domestic abuse? Nothing.

all hail based mark

Is your refrigerator running? Yes Good. Enjoy your cold drinks.

Man: Are you tired Woman: No why? Man: You have bags under your eyes and you just yawned a minute ago

There's a fair in a small town in Scotland. In this fair is a sheep judging contest. There are 3 sheep lined up for judging. The judge looks at the first sheep and says "Wow! This is the most beautiful sheep I've ever seen! This sheep just might win!" Then he proceeds to the second sheep. He says "This sheep is even more beautiful than the first! This sheep just might win!" Then he goes to the third sheep. He says "UGH! This is the ugliest most disgusting sheep I've ever seen! There is no way this sheep will win this contest!" And the sheep looks up at him and says, "You think I'm ugly? Well I'm not."

Whats the difference between a dead cat and a woman. The cat had a life.

Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

Knock-Knock "Who's there?" "The police, you're under arrest for the murder of your wife and your two children."

A man walks into a bar, gets caught in a knife fight, and dies horribly. The funeral was closed casket.

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"What happened to John after he got drunk 12 years ago"- police "I don't really don't know that question"- John Jr.

A muslim walks into a bomb store. He is a police officer and quickly arrests the owners of the store because of the obvious legal violations.

How many Jews can you fit in a car? 10. 3 in back, 2 up front and the rest in the ash tray.

I met this girl and we really got along, then one night she tied me up, I thought she was getting kinky...then she ripped my face off....

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

What did the pillow say to the dragon? Nothing, because pillows don't talk, dragons aren't real and this is a highly improbable circumstance.

Why did the housewife become a farmer? Because the kitchen was burned down in a horrific accident.

Why didnt the boy eat his ice cream? Because he is dairy intolerant

I used to be an adventurer like you. But then I retired and started a family.

q. a whale walks into a bar. The bartender asks"why are you wailling?" A. I my 3 year-old son died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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