What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She compiled and saw the error of her ways.

I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

Why are these jokes so funny? Because they're NOT!

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I Love The Music Only Jazz and Blues.

A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't say anything because its a duck.

MAGHBERRY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why couldnt jim jump rope? His feet were nailed to the ground.

Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

i tell you whats funny......... what? a fat sudanese man

did Michael Jackson touch children ? yes of course. otherwise he would have been an absolutely terrible father

your momma is so old, she has heart problems

why is a squirrel called a squirrel? that's its name.

What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman

How long was the awkward silence it took to make Justin Bieber? Really long.

Why the worker did not come to work? Because he died!


Once upon a time, your dog got hit by a car this morning

Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh.. Okay.

Roses are red violets are blue, your library book is overdue, and if you dont pay the fine...i'll punch you in the mouth.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!


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