What did the Jamacian say to his friends? Yo me Rastas' on de cloud shroud atta boy 9PM we rizzle into da hitasses bar and we order us da drink of "grandpa's cough medicince" me tinks, who grees wid my view od oftaday Rastas?

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what did the girl who's father was murdered do at her wedding? not have a father daughter dance.

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Where did the little boy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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I hate being bipolar, it's so awesome.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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A man buys some expensive lingerie for his wife on the occasion of their 10th wedding anniversary. After a lovely candlelight dinner at home, he tells her to close her eyes at which point he retrieves the gift box containing her anniversary present. Thoroughly exited, she rips open the box and takes out the beautiful garment, holding it up to the light in wide-eyed amazement. Her husband gives her a suggestive wink and says "would you like to join me in the bedroom to try it on?" To which she replies, "I AIN'T YER WHORE!"

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Does it matter why, it just did.

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A man was found dead, in an ice cream van, the other day. He was covered from head to toe in hundreds and thousands, with two flakes sticking out of his ears. The police say it was a tragedy and will be informing his next of kin in the next few days.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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A black man and a Mexican were in a car. Who was driving? The cop.

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"Honey im home!" but his honey was dead on the floor along with his 3 kids.

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Q:a black man walks down the street with alot of light whats happaning he A:is it the parade of light

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A bar walks into a man... Wait...

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So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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4 strangers are shopping at the mall. The big one does a trick and then the small one was good. The bad was small like a tree, seven days later the short one was having a party with a pretty lady. To the teacher was morning and everyone did happy times.

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If a tree falls in the forest and it does it make a sound? No, Trees can't talk

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Q: Were did suzy go after the explosion? A: Everywere

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

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i like men but im not gay

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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This desk is two chromebooks wide. It will be one once I push yours off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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