Why did the penis cross the road? Because a man was humping the chicken

Why did the homeless man kill his dog? Because a drunk rich guy said he'd pay him a hundred dollars if he did.

An Irish guy, a black guy, and an Asian guy walk into a bar. They all caught the plague and died.

Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

What do you call a girl with ADD and too much free time? Me

Did you hear the one about the spoon and the dis running away while the cow jumped over the moon, IMPOSSIBLE! eating material such as the spoon and dish are inanimate objects, and cows cant jump for they weigh from 600 to 1000 lbs.

Yo mama is so fat, she needs to get serious about her diet, or else she might die of some sort of weight related issue.

A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

What's black and blue and hates sex? The 13 year old tied up in my basement.

Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

Why couldent the boy pick up the bunny? He had severe muscular distrophy, and couldent even lift a spoon to his mouth. let alone a bunny

What did Uncle Timmy give to Little John for his birthday? Sodomy.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

whats a great gift to share with small children? Ebola

yo momma so fat i abuse my wife

A man sees the most beautiful woman he's ever seen on the street. He takes her into a dark alley and r.apes her.

why did the jew cross the road? He didnt. He got stuck in the wire fence.

Cancer

Who smells like urine and his da is a registered sex offender with madeline mccann in his house? Aodhan hearty, May I also include he looks like a bug. Oh and don't forget the rot on his teeth, it is fucking disgusting. It really looks like he hasn't brushed his teeth in quite a substantial period of time, in my opinion, he is the only person who is actually comparible to sean.

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

Why did the blonde go to law school? She was sick of people assuming that she was not an intelligent woman due to negative sterotypes about her gender and hair color and set out to prove said people wrong.

Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock.. Who's there? Not Sally!

You know what they say about people with big feet? Big shoes.

Why do depressed people like sharp knives? Cause there good for cutting Salad

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...