Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got hitted by a drunken driver and died last week, when he was cycling to school.

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Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

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I was bitter, nonetheleast because you and I became friends, while someone working for you (at that time it might just as well had been you) was conducting a lot of illegal activities. I kept thinking, why does the guy call himself "the wizard", its the most used name... Why? Because it is the most used name, good luck finding "THE WIZARD" among internet nerds, but then again, if you search for the most famous one, you find "THE MAN", Not only did you tell me at first that you where Nero. Which I can prove you are not, but you know, one side of me was your friend, the other knew I would have to get rid of you no matter the cost, if you kept your activities. SImply put: When I enjoyed our time together, I pushed you away with stupid humor, small insults and etc, mostly in order to protect myself from getting to close with a potential threat for well, security, lets keep it at that.

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Gas prices are so high, I've had to resort to walking and riding my bike.

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How long does it take a black woman to have a baby? Nine months, give or take a few days depending on whether she goes into labour early or not.

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Have you seen the 6th sense? Nope, is it good? Yeah Bruce Willis is dead

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A black man trips and falls down. You help him up and ask him if he needs any help. After a brief friendly talk you both continue on your separate ways.

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Why did the Jew go to prison. He slaughtered his family.

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What do you call a young child being beating to death with a spiked club? Arousing.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Jojobas Witness open up

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

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Why is Suzie at the bottom of the cliff? Because I pushed her. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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think twice or at least think

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Q: How much dirt is in a hole 3 by 6 by 2 feet? A: There's no dirt, it's a hole.

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an man of hispanic descent ran into a pole his white friends proceeded to laugh at him not because he was in pain, but because he was different

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Is it hungry in here? Or is it just me?

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

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did you know helen keller had a dog? neither did she....

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Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

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My name is Nero, Angelo Nero, its Italian (or rather Roman) For Black Angel, and yes it is my real name, you will believe me once you see my passport, driving license, mastercard whatever, I am 32 years old and I wont tell you my last name because at this rate... You could probably just google me up and find it yourself. Seriously, I am latino you know that, romantic is in my veins, but hey, you never told me you liked that so if we agreed to sex, that was what I was going with... I did tell you that sex is kinda meh for me without the romance factor. The thing about your name being Tifa, is that you look A LOT like the video game character, I mean come on! You even got red eyes! (okay hers may be a brownish red but come on!) You should post a picture of yourself online and see how many guys find you really sexy... Then again, dont, I want you for myself. Sorry this is taking some time, I dont get any of these solvemedia crapcraps

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay for it, eat it and then proceed on disposing the packaging of the klondike bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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