dick in your mouth just kidding haaaaaa

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Sure, if my waifu aproves, hell, the more the hornier. CONDOMS? ARE YOU INSANE? CONDOMS ARE FOR PUSSIES... ..:WHIIIIIICH sorta makes sense so okay, my for a moment I thought you where not gonna go trough with this... Nah just kidding, I already got you, now if you want to break free I am gonna be like "MEH!" So, uh, you shaven or not? Please dont be "trimmed", sometimes it just looks like a pussy with a mustachio, thats bullshit.

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A man once had a monkey, and it made him very happy. then one day, his monkey ran away. So the man was very sad and screamed, "I knew i should have broken the monkey's legs!!"

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A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of...

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Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

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Why didn't the oven turn on? Because nothing turned it on.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

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What's big, red and delicious? A prune. I lied about it being big, red and delicious.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Not the World Trade Center.

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What do millions of men give their girlfriends every Christmas? AIDS.

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knock knock. who's there? someone.

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That's a rhetorical question chickens don't cross roads!

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Guy 1: "Hey, you have some updawg on your face." Guy 2: "Oh, thanks. Did I get it?" Guy 1: "Yeah, I think so."

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This is my firstever post so I wanted to make it very specialand have it really mean something, then I though fark that for a joke

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kevin. Kevin who? Kevin Smith. Oh yes, Kevin Smith that lovely boy from just around the corner! Come on in!

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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A blind man walks into a bar Backs up, and walks around it.

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Nina and Harry sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes divorce because their marriage didn't turn out right and Harry hit Nina in the head with a iron...

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When will racism end? When everyone's dead.

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How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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What's your star sign? Cancer. Oh you're gonna die. AWKWARD.

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Why did the fisherman die on a fishing trip? He had a heart attack.

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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