Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A blonde was very smart, and nobody made fun of her when she sometimes made small mistakes like every other person regardless of hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a muffin with frosting? A cupcake

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A man walks into a bar. -Can I ask where am I? - he sais -Yes, you can. - sais the barman Awkward silence occurs. -Why aren't you asking? I said you can.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red violets are blue come on love show me you boobs/by kw

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the fat lady poop on my knee? Because i'm thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

roses are red, violets are blue i couldnt spend one night without you

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the black man almost go to jail? He rolled a 6 in monopoly, if it was a 7, he would've been sent straight to jail without passing "go"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Sometimes I stare at a Frisbee and wonder why it is getting bigger. Then, it hits me.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the girl fall down the stairs? Because her asshole brother pushed her :)

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did the kangaroo jump? because its a kangaroo

thumb_up thumb_down +19

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did the pinapple walk the plank? to eat a cat because cheese say people!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I suck at online but have a high gamerscore

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What's big and messy? A big mess

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? It's illegal to eat the Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman? A. Cause you have to hollow out it's head! A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?" The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?" "The sucker called again!"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Where was Susy after the bombing? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Jack got late to his date? Because he was playing Call of Duty and forgot about the time.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops