Q. Where do you find Indonesia A. On a map

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Why did the seal get confused when a spider tried to high five him? Because spiders have eight legs.

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Women's rights.

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Ethan's girlfriend is a salg hahahahahahahahahahahaha fucking meff she needs to die

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what did the scientist say in Siberia? burrrrrrrrrrilium

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He slowly ate it on a warm day although it's taste was somewhat of a disappointment.

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what did the aboriginal kid get for christmas? your bike.

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When life gives you lemons, make beef stew.

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What is worse but similar to Jenga? The September 11th attacks.

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An Asian with a big dick.

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What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

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What did Bill go for his birthday? No where someone slashed his tires.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, he was hit by a car. I lied about him crossing the road.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them!!!

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Roses are Red Violets are blue I am an onlince predator Post your address in the comment EJ

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What did the boy with no legs get? A treadmill.

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What did the coconut say to the lizard? Nothing, the coconut fell off the tree and killed the lizard.

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What can't taste with a toung, and it's soul never dies? A shoe

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why jews dont believe in God? Jews believe in God, its just that their god is different from ours !

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What's something that really sucks? Having a homicidal cat on your chest.

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A man walks into a bar. He is knocked unconscious, and passers-by rush to his aid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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