Q: Why can't Helen Keller have a baby? A: Because she is dead. ...I IS HORNY!

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What's white and sticky? A sticky polar bear.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? The baby is not a car.

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One day i woke up, and found my wife dead on the floor. lol.

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What's worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? 1 dead baby in 12 trash cans.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To look at the most interesting man in the world.

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What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

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An African American and an hispanic man are in a car, who's driving? No one, they are having sex

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A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

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How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

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What did the man do when he went in the bathroom he took a crap wiped his butt and washed his hands and went back to meet his family at the dinner table

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootise pop? No, seriously, does anyone know?

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Andi: I have a great knock-knock joke, but you need to start it. Jake: Okay...Knock-knock! Andi: Who's there? Jake: ...

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1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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A young cow died of terminal cancer; he said moo before he died

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had celebral palsy.

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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Q. What do you call a person with no arms, legs, torso, or head? A. A mutilated corpse.

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Q: What did the Lone Ranger say when he saw his horse coming? A: Here comes my horse.

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Schroedingers cat walked into a bar... and it didnt.

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"Knock Knock" "Who the hell is it?" "Patri..." "Go the hell away!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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