A Poem that would be from a stocker: Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a Gun Get in the Van and NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

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What’s worse than being ruled by Adolf Hitler? Being ruled by Joseph Stalin.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

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What color do you wear if you're in the NAVY? Beige, white, sometimes camouflage - really, it depends on your rank and the situation.

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''Wanna hear a joke?'' ''Sure'' ''a joke''

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What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

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What did the man do to the begging orphan on a cold Christmas morning? He kicked him.

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I drive in driveways. I recite in recitals. I play in plays. I park on parkways. My greenhouse is green. And my boxing ring is round. Why does everyone think I'm weird??

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What starts with p and ends in orn? Popcorn

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Did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off, how is he? Well you see, the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off...He's dead. I..um..he's straight up dead. I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell ya.

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What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple but the elephant is gray.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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How many gays does it take to turn a lightbulb? 1

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A lamp of light That shines so bright Except when it is night A glow up high You wonder why It moves across the sky. What am I? A blogger who posts jokes on AntiJoke.com.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why did the elephant fall down? He was shot by poachers.

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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A man walks into a bar stark naked with a duck on his head. The bartender said "Dave, what's wrong?" The duck replies "Don't ask."

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What's green, grows in my basement, and if fun to smoke? Mold. I lied about it being fun to smoke.

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what did the jewish man say to the christian man on the first day of hannukah? i like basketball

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Why can't a T-Rex masturbate? Because dinosaurs have been extinct nearly 65 million years, due to an asteroid collision with the Earth

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? A Boy Scout comes home from camp.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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