What do you get when you cross a rock and a paper bag? A rock inside of a paper bag.

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what did the black guy get for christmas? a car because he really wanted one.

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Wanna hear a joke? Your contact list.

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Mel Gibson is awoken by the ringing of his telephone he proceeds to have a nice conversation with his wife.

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a black guy with a parrot on his shoulder was walking down the street. another man asked, "where did you get him?" The parrot said, "theres tons of them in africa."

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A priest sneeks in to a pre-school and is arrested shortly after for tresspassing.

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what has a huge nose and is jewish??? Henery Miller!!!!!

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what do you call an astrounaut in space? an astrounaut you racist bastard

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Why did Mary fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock, Whos there, Not Mary

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i threw my line in the toilet the fishing was pretty shity that day

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Q.What is the bigest lie in the universe? A. I have read and agree the the Terms of Service.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why did the Mexican man jump to the floor? He had a stroke.

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If there are 500 bricks in an airplane and one falls out how many are there in he plane? 499. Name 3 steps to get a Elephant in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2. Put the Elephant in the fridge 3. Close the fridge Name 4 steps to get an Deer in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2.Take the Elephant out of the fridge 3. Put the Deer in the fridge 4. Close the fridge The Lion King is having a birthday party. Every animal came, besides one. Who was it? The Deer. Because hes trapped in the Fridge. The Deer manages to escape the fridge, and hes running late. he encounters Crocodile lake. How will he cross it? He will swim through it because the Crocodiles are at the Lion Kings birthday. Then suddenly, The Deer dies. How? The Brick hit him.

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A guy walked into a restaurant. He sat down and had a lovely meal left the restaurant got in his car and went home. The End

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Knock Knock Who's there? (Pause) Who's there? Hello? Bloody kids

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Feminine hygiene jokes aren't funny. Period

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How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

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why is it good to be a fireman? because they save lives

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Why do vampires suck the blood of their victims? Because blood is very nutritious and provides more iron for heamoglobin.

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What would you call the jetsons if they were black? Niggers

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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? One, unless she's too short, in which case she may get someone else to do it for her.

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why did the black guy talk to the monkey? they were in the same cage.

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A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up stretches and pulls out a gun shooting everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads: "A rare bearlike mammal (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) of the mountains of China and Tibet, having woolly fur with distinctive black and white markings. Also called giant panda, panda bear." Seeing absolutely nothing in this description that would rationalize the homicides the panda had just committed, the bartender arrived at the reasonable conclusion that the panda was psychotic and having severe psychological problems which probably caused the incident. The bartender couldn't help but wonder if this tragedy could've been avoided had the panda been properly screened for schizophrenia and guns been properly secured in a safe at the panda's mother's house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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