A duck walks into a restraunt and sit's down at it's table. The waiter asks what the duck would like to eat. The duck says "I'd like a tasty, healthy meal that will help me lose weight." The waiter says "How about the rocket salad?" So, the duck orders a rocket salad, eat's it, pays his bill, and leaves.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your child has been in a terrible car accident.

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Why did the boy drop his Ice cream? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him.

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A program that creates "pointless inventions" and posts them at the wrong sections.

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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Man says, "Hello" Girl, "Do you wanna go out?" Man, "With you?" Girl, "YES!" Man, "NO, bye!"

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Why did the jew ask for $10 back after he lent a boy $2? Because of inflation

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing

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what do you call a prostitute with white eyes? emma , with the cloudy iris,

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Q: What did Hitler say to the Rabbi? A: I don't like you.

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What smells worse than an old women's fart? the rotting carcus of a dead baby

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Yo mama so fat, she most likely wont live to 40

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What did the young girl with leukemia say to a stranger? I am afraid

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The economy.

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

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What did batman say to robin before getting into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile robin.

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You wanna hear an inside joke? That was one of them.

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What did the wall say to the floor? Nothing.

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What did the blind guy say when he walked past a fish store? Something smells fishy

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What did Tom get for his 5th Birthday ? Nothing, he died when he was 2 years old

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Golf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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