What do grass and deer have in common? They're both green I lied about the deer

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What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.

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Knock Knock Who's there May I come in? May I come in who? . . .What's wrong with you can I come in or not?

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A guy walks into a bar. He was an alcoholic and it was destroying his family.

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minorities.

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Q:What does a black guy say when you steal his fried chicken right in front of him? A:"please restrain from taking food that does not belong to you. If you had kindly asked i would have kindly given you some, and right in front of me too! In all my life I've never seen such rudeness and i grew up in the Bronx."

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A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

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why did little Hannah not like the poem "Roses are Red" because she was colorblind

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5 black men walk into a 7-11 at midnight. They clog the all of the toilets in the mens bathroom causing them to over run.

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Your mom is such a slut that she has herpes.

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What do you call a rollercoaster without a coaster? A roller

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A poor woodcutter accidentally dropped his axe into the nearby river when taking a particularly forceful swipe at the tree he was cutting. He felt so dejected he wept. Then, the goddess of the river appeared. "What ails thee, my dear man?" she asked. "My axe -- it fell in the river!" stuttered the weeping woodcutter. "Do not worryI am the goddess of this river, and will find your axe!" said the River Goddess and dived into the river. After waiting eagerly for several minutes, the woodcutter was resigned to the fact that he had imagined the River Goddess.

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How many fingers do u have? 11 Start with left pinky count 10,9,8,7,6 then 6+5=11

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman

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cory is gay

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Land Rovers

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a man walked into a bar. the bartender asked why he was annoyed. he answered " people keep on telling this joke and I'm tired of the making me get drunk

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Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

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the WNBA

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

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What did the kid use to smell his food His nose

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Ashton Kutcher meets a fine cougar at a bar and the cougar fatally wounded his throat.

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whats long and hard and full of seamen a penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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