What did one apple say to the other apple? -Nothing, apples can't talk

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WHY CANT THE ENGLISH MAN FIND HIS.....PANTS? BECAUSE HE NEEDED TO LOOK HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! LOOK HARDER ENGLISHMAN!!!!!!!!LOOK HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yell this joke out loud and u will realize that its really funny!!! ^-^

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Why did sally fall off her swingset? Because she was hit with a refrigerator.

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Guy A turns to Guy B and says, 'Hey, can I use your cellphone to call my mom?" Guy B nods and says, "Yeah, sure, just press redial." Guy B had been planning an surprise party for Guy A and had called Guy A's mother for ideas.

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What's black and always in the back of a cop car? The seat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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what's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

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Why did the football coach go to the bank Answer - to get his quarter back

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What's worse than finding out that your dog has worms? Finding out that you have worms.

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Who you gonna call? Gobstoppers

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Why did the man die in a car crash? Answer: He was not fallowing the traffic laws and therefore risking the life of himself and others. This may have resulted from the possibility that he was under the influence of alcohol, he was under the influence of drugs, he was emotionally unstable from a bread up, he was emotionally unstable from because of an abusive family, he was emotionally unstable from losing his job, he had an abusive childhood, he was emotionally impaired, he was high from lack of oxygen, he wanted to wear a blindfold, he didn't like his car, liked to spin the steering wheel a lot, he thought the gas was the break, or he just didn't like traffic laws.

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What goes up and does not come down? Why the hell ask me.

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roses are red i have a phone nobody texts me forever alonee lol

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A black man has a job.

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A obese woman, a anorexic woman and a average weight woman sit down to eat. They all have a good time.

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A Black man and a Hispanic man were sitting in the back seat of a car. Who was driving? Their Asian friend who offered to take them to get lunch.

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What did the plane say after it flew into the World Trade Center on 9/11 Nothing, planes are incapable of speaking.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Your mom is so fat she could consider going on biggest loser, where she might be able to make a lot of money.

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why did the boy have no friends? cause he was smelly

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Legal Mexicans in Texas

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What's white and black and lives in the ghetto : a panda bear

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What did the baby get for its 1st birthday? Nothing it was aborted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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