A black man comes home from work.

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What's worse then the holocaust? Stepping on a lego.

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jess yawns with no hands in front of her mouth. true story.

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What do you call a black man with no legs? A fine example of the consequences of drink driving. Make sure you are physically stable or not under the effects of depressants, drugs or any form of alcohol before deciding to use a motor vehicle.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

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Where did Susie go during the bombings? Susie was wandering around the streets as she felt like she didn't know where she was any more. Everything was burnt to ashes. She came across a man who she has never met. He tells her to follow him. She did.Later, Susie, the mysterious man and a few other people with him were in a private meeting room. The mysterious man tells Susie that he was a Frenchman and he was with the resistance. A few minutes later, the bombs were dropping everywhere. The meeting room was destroyed and Susie, the Frenchman and his men were under attack. The French resistance were about to fight, but retreated - for they were French. Susie was left, lying there as she saw a bomb in the sky about to land on her. She tried to get up and run, but the bomb was too fast. It got her. So yeah. Susie went everywhere, like you lot said.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

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Priority parking for hybrid cars

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roses are red so is ur face dont look at me like im a crazy bitch

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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Why did the black guy lose the race? He toke an arrow to the knee

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Hey

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So I was sitting in traffic the other day... And I got run over.

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Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

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The Labour Party.

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Hey I just met you, and your f$#king crazy,I ate your pizza, so go get me another one!!

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Why does Santa wear sleigh bells? Because he's got leprosy.

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How do u tourcheer a fat kid? Make him chase a dounout

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What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

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Q:what did a keppy kid with a big nose say A:hi im josh Roberts

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Q: What kind of punch do vampires drink ? A: None... It's really blood, you should know that by now.

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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