A fat guy!

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What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Easter? Hepatitis.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It died

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What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

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Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

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Why did the baby die, because he got herpes, so did his mother, there both dead now.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

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Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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A white man walked into a bar, and an indian walked into a totem pole...

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Fetus Blood. Due to the low concentration of iron, it gives it an aroma of paint.

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How do you scare a 5 year old girl? Stick your dick out.

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A man climbs a tree, falls, and breaks his legs. He will never walk again

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first polar bear says, "Pass the soap." The second polar bear replies, "No soap, radio." OMG YOU DON'T GET IT?!?!?!?! NOOB

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Why is Osama bin laden so hard to find? Because he is dead.

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What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

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What would George Washington be doing if he was alive today? Scratching and screaming at the bottom of his coffin.

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Roses are red Violets are red The grass is red OH MY GOD, THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE!!!

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How do you kill a blond? Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool.

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Duck A lays an egg which rolls into Duck B's nest. To whom does the egg technically belong to? Neither, ducks do not have the legal right of ownership.

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A black guy walks out of a house with a t.v. He proceeds to put it into a moving van and moves into his new house.

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Q: Why don't people like me? A: Because I smell bad and I give off a creepy vibe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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