69

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roses are red, violets are blue... thats what they tell me because im blind

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Why did Jesus and his friends get crucified? So they could sing: "Always look at the bright side of life" Moral: Monty Python?

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's blind.

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What did the pedophile say to the little girl? "I have a condition and I think it would be healthy for both of us if you stayed within the supervision of your parents"

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Why did the lady have a birthmark on her leg? Because she came out of her mother's leg.

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What did Rihanna remember when she corrected Chris Browns tweets she can't remember last thing she saw was a fist

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the voices told him to...

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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Where was Andy Beckett WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT? In the dark

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jack and jill went up the hill to have a little fun. that dumb ass jill forgot the pill and now they have a son

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99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall. 10 minutes into the song one man succumbs to alcohol poisoning.

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Why are anti jokes funny? You can trick an old person to think they are

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What did the three sixteen year old boys do to the homeless man late at night? Wished him a happy birthday and gave him a meal

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why did the zack fall off his bike because his mum thew a frege at him

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Q: What happens when a Jew with a boner runs into a wall? A: He breaks his nose.

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How many people does it take to change a lightbulb? It depends on if the person has a lightbulb of the correct size and wattage...

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why did the chicken cross the road it didnt

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Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

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Two dogs are sitting by a fire hydrant. One turns to the other and says absolutely nothing because dogs can't speak.

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Why doesnt your dad like barrack Obama? because your dad is straight, hes not into men

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Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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