a man walked up to me and said someone is dying with long terminal cancer i said who? man replies your cat. i replied i don't have a cat. man says whoops wrong person

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A: Knock Knock. B: ... A: Knock Knock. B: ... A: I guess nobody's home. (leaves.)

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What happens when an antijoke and a joke comes together? Unicorns mate with Neil Patrick Harris

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hey.

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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why do black people hate aspirin? Its white, it works, and you have to pick cotton to get to it.

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Your mom is so dumb that she failed to pass her 11th grade year, forcing her to drop out to get a GED and spend the rest of her life at a dead end job

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What did Darth Vader say when he spilled his drink? Darth Vader is a fictional character and is not a part of humanity.

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A boy grows up loving tractors. For birthday and Christmas each year he got a tractor toy of some kind, until the age of 17, when he finally gave up tractors and got himself a CD player. One day, listening to all the latest tunes with some headphones, he looks outside to see his neighbour's house on fire. He goes outside to find firemen trying to put out the blaze. He jumps into the blazing house and inhales as much as he can, which astonishingly puts out the blaze. A fireman confusing asked "How did you do that?" The boy replies, " I'm an ex-tractor fan."

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What happens when you pour Red Bull on a butterfly without wings? It drowns......

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Why was the black man running? He has to stay fit for the army.

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is this love , is this love , is this love , that im feeling , no bob im afraid its cancer.

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Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

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A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

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Why did the penguin go to the cookie shop? He didn't, penguins don't eat cookies

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How to stop a baby from crying? Hit it with a brick

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What starts with 'd' and ends in 'ick'? dick -XH

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Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

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a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

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What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

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why is a squirrel called a squirrel? that's its name.

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Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

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You got yourself a mole, I suggest you restrict all access to any and everyone that could possibly go under aliases such as: The Wiz. Azure. Dungeon Lord. Dice. Wizard, and anything similar, he is most likely a computer geek which does not necessarily look like one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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