How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

Why is six afraid of seven? Because six is a numerophobe.

how do you get your son or daughters attention? break down the door to their room and promptly begin beating them with a wooden baseball and then tie them up to a chair and torture them for 24 hours.

What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

What do you call a gorilla with a banana in each ear? A gorilla with with a banana in each ear? Unless it has a name, then refer to it by it's name. be polite.

why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead How did the second koala fall out of the tree? it was hit by the first one how did the third koala fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game and jumped off

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What was a hard time for people? the great depression

What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

I have to tell you something. What? I just told you something.

Your mother is so fat, that making fun if her is a terrible thing to do.

Knock knock Who's there A girl scout A girl scout who? A girl scout trying to sell cookies to support her alcoholic parents who beat her

What's worse than 1000 babies tied to a tree? 1 baby tied to 1000 trees.

a man walks into a library Who the hell reads

Your momma's so fat, she has just been diagnosed with Chronic renal failure.

What did the Canadian Goose say to the Snow Goose? You're white.

How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's an obscure number you've probably never heard of.

Please ignore this statement.

Why did the litle boy's hat come off? cause he got hit by a train!

How to make Ramen like a boss Step 1: get a promotion

How many black guys can fit in a minivan? Eight.

How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? It is highly unlikely one would have a supply of dead babies large enough to answer this question.

Whats brown and sticky A stick!!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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