Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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one day four teenage boys started doing drugs. They jumped off a cliff and died.

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What is the biggest lie that's still close to the truth? You came out of your momma's asshole.

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What's gay, has ten eyes and is gay. One D. Kelvin Yang.

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What do you call a black guy who gives out change? A cashier.

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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The Big Band Theory

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An Asian person drove home safely.

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What did the whale do when he was angry? He beached himself, causing a major ecological disaster and costing the beach community thousands of dollars to return him to the water.

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So a duck walks into a pharmacy and says "i need some ointment for my beak, its rather chapped." and the Pharmacist said "Sorry we don't have anything for ducks here."

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VITAMIN C!

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A doctor walks into a bar. It's his day off and decides to celebrate after a long week of working.

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What did the chicken say to the butcher? Moo.

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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A car enters a curve. An ice-cream man pops out from a manhole and throws a pine cone to the car.

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24

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What's worse than losing the remote Finding it in your ass hole

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How do you make a dead baby float? Ice cream, root beer, and a dead baby.

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Inspirational speaker: "You can judge a man by the way he treats those who can do nothing for him." Me: "Hitler loved dogs."

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what did the elephant step on when he was running through the jungle? .... a coke machine.

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How do you make a baby stop crying? Make it smell its own diaper then, drown it in its own tears.

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Q: If it takes a chicken a day and a half to lay an egg and a half, then how long would it take a monkey to kick the seeds off of a dill pickle. A: I don't know. That's a stupid question.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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