Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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Knock, Knock? Who's There? Not Suzie

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what did one black man say to the other black man? hello

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Why didnt timmy go to the party Mom said no

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What do you do to a duck with no bill? Please, leave the duck alone, it's bad enough for him having no bill.

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Your mother is so fat, that she's working really hard to get back in shape so that she can support her family.

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Where did Ellen go after the explosion? Everywhere

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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Shit, I can't think of anything to write. That does not mean I'm black

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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how did the man die from falling out of the window his angry x- friend pushed him.

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What did Jimmy say when the bully poured milk on his head? Nothing, instead he took out a shank and proceeded to stab him 30 times and let him bleed to death for being a douche.

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yo mamas so fat she probably has to wear a gerdle when she leaves the house.

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why did the man fall down? because he was shot.

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Your adopted

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Why did the football coach go to the bank Answer - to get his quarter back

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c-? men, C-men

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Why would you call a child douche bag? Cause they're sterile

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the food supply was scarce

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Why couldn't the old man see the Moon? Because he was blind and it was daytime.

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9/11/01 walks into a bar

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I literally died laughing

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Tilt your screen back

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A duck walks into a bar and buys a drink. When the bartender comes up he says put it on my bill

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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