What did Hitler get for Christmas? Some shoelaces for his shoes so he could tie his little knotsies.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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What did the poor guy get for christmas? The homeless guy.

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Why was Charles bleeding, because he was stabbed in the head with a needle

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Brenda said she found a pill to stop the effects of aging! It was a cyanide pill, Brenda is dead.

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There is a Mexican and a Black guy in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican, you racist bastard.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are the same.

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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What's the worst part about rollerblading? Telling your dad that you're gay.

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whats worse than killing people that have bags on their heads? finding out that the people that u have just killed were your own children.

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MRCANN YOUR A FUCKIN' CARROT LERN 2 FOCKIN SIT IN YER HOLE YA FUCKIN PLANT

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Erm Wait why would a chicken be on the side walk in the first place?

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What's the difference between a paper towel and a crab cake? Ones a paper towel and ones a crab cake

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Stevan Hawkings walked into a bar. Ohh shit :/

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Knock Knock! Who Is it? You, Tig

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What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

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what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

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What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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Q: Whatcha doin?? A:Ur mom. . .

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty-eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, its probably a turtle.

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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what do you call a kid without arms and legs? Freak

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A boy walks into a haunted cematery. Zombies eat him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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