Is this a chair?

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A man says to his wife, "Honey, sex just hasn't been the same lately." "That's probably because of my yeast infection," replies his wife.

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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A catholic priest gets a nun pregnant. He drowns the baby several months later.

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A man walks into a bar. He says "ouch".

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What did the teacher say to the student? You did very poorly on your homework and will never succeed. The student was black.

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jimmy carr walks into a tax office.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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A mother and her kid are in a park: Kid: Why did the chicken go to jail? Mother: Because the chicken killed your father... Now we are broke living in a park and I'm gonna kill myself at noon, and so are you. Kid: I'm not doing that, and neither are you and Daddies over their! The dad is a zombie, this is the beginning of the zombie apocalypses. THE END!!! PUPPIES!!!!!!!!!

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Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

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What smells, tastes, and looks like trash? Garbage.

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Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

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The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

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What did the say to the host of the pool party after he pooped? Mr. TImmons! There is chocolate in the pool!

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If your uncle helped you off An horse, would you help your uncle jack off an horse?

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A blind child sign is at the end of my street. I have never seen the child, but at least if he were to come outside at the right time period i might be able to spot him, whereas he would having no way of returning the gesture.

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Why so serious? Why bad grammar?

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was wandering because he was lost and got hit by a car in the process.

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Two tomatoes where crossing the road, when one of them barely avoided being run over. The other said, come on tomato!

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Q: What do you call a barn full of black people? A: Antique farm equipment.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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