Q: Why did your mom cross the street? A: Because she was so ugly that she fell off both sides of the bed

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the man do at the "take a penny leave a penny holder" He took a penny, and left a penny.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Humpty the extreme sized grenade fell off the wall. The universe is now in little pathetic bits.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

what smells like diarrhea and looks like diarrhea? diarrhea stupid

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Scott

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why is the boy severely mentally scarred? He got raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Yo momma so stupid when I said drinks are on the house she went and got a ladder

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock Knock. Who's There? I have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did Darth Vader say when he spilled his drink? Darth Vader is a fictional character and is not a part of humanity.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What does a person with Alzheimer's do? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? Lots of stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A giraffe walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?!" to witch he replied " I've just been mugged outside.".

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What grows on trees and is woody? Wood.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red Violets are red I murdered the gardener

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why doesn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the Chicken Cross the road? Because it did...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

thumb_up thumb_down -23

killing a baby and putting it in one bucket is one thing... but killing a baby and putting it in ten buckets is just insensitive

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How about that airplane food? Ive never been on a plane you tell me

thumb_up thumb_down +10

the guy on tv right now isnt funny. i blame canada

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Q:what do you call a black guy with a gun A:racial equality in our nations armed forces

thumb_up thumb_down +14

My name is Jacob Mckeand and my penis is as long as Mr. Macs hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops