A woman walks into a bar and orders a pint of ale. "Are you a Lesbian?", joked the barman. "Yes", replied the woman.

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How do you mess with Helen Keller? Move all the furniture in her room.

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what's the easiest way to tell time? a clock

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What did the Nazi Death Camp Guard say to the escaping prisoner? - Nothing. He shot him in his face.

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

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What do you get when you cross a squirrel and a horse? Each animal has a different number of genetic faults therefore such a process would be impossible.

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I hated the Reading festival, i'm dyslexic. I hated it because my family died in a housefire while I was there.

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Q: How to fit 10 babies in a suitcase? A: By blender Q: How to get the babies out of the suitcase? A: Using a straw.

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What do a baker and gynecologist have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

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...NO.

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MOTHER OF GOD! Someone get this horse out of here!

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Why are anti-jokes so funny?

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What do you call a moving tree? A hurricane killing thousands of people and 3 dogs.

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How can you tell if someone is a virgin? Everyone is a virgin in something. For example, if you never had sex with a dinosaur, then you are a virgin at dinosaur sex.

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What is worse than blue balls for a guy? Depending on the girl, absolutely nothing. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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What did one barstool say to the other? Nothing, inanimate objects cannot talk.

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what do an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, But words can leave deep psychological wounds that may never heal.

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Knock knock Who's there? Joke Joke who? Auntie Joke Great, could you bake me those cookies I like.

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What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "No, all days are 24 hours long" the man replies, amazed at how uneducated the bartender is.

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HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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