When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up which puts resistance on his arms and therefore strengthens his arm muscles and performs physical exercise.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

If you were on an island with one wish what would you wish for? To get off the island

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a black man a asian man and a mexican man? 3 people

thumb_up thumb_down +9

It was a beautiful day, John was driving in his car down the street, Kameron was riding his bike preparing for a bike race the following day, and Griffin was having his 7th birthday party. John ran over Kameron and Griffin, he killed Griffin and broke Kameron's legs to where he could never stand/ride again

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There was an Irishman and an Australian who walked into a bar. There was also an American, who didn't. Why didn't the American walk into the bar? He was a midget.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

T u r n i p s

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Whats worse the people posting real jokes on (Anti Jokes)? 911

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Ever heard about the gray pipes that ran along the walls? Those pipes transmit gas. Gas killed the jews. You sick fucker.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What would you do for a klondike bar? I'm allergic to milk.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the zuccini fly? I was in an acid trip.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A girl was walking home from school, she had a pizza box in her hands, her mom was waiting for her in the car to take her to T.G.I.F, and then she dropped the pizza box in the middle of the street. In a frantic attemp to get the box, she run out into the middle of the street and got hit by a semi. Her funeral is tomorrow.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +6,331

Why was it okay for the people in the hospital to laugh at the patient with narcolepsy? It wasn't. The patients were treated due to moral obligations. But the doctors that laughed had either been fired or warned, depending on if there were previous reports of exploitation of patients.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did one muffin say to the other? I'm baked... just kidding muffins are food and therefore can not speak

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the math book crying? Three men just brutally raped his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you get a tower to move? Hit it with a plane.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's got eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs head.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the bat mobile? A: Robin get in the bat mobile.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What is more disappointed the Lake Disappointment? You

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats the difference between a van with a bunch of babies in the back and a Cadillac with a bunch of babies in the back I don't have a Cadillac in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was Jesus able to walk on water? Because he was the son of God and therefore devine, he can do whatever he pleases

thumb_up thumb_down +44

I came to the bar at 7:00. What time did I leave at? There was no clock at the bar I went to, therefore i cannot determine when I left or when I cmae, so my above opinion is clearly incorrect.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops