what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

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Whats Black and White and Red all over? A white boy who just got jumped, with sever bruises left lying in a pool of his own blood.

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yo mama so fat she decided to go on a diet :)

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What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is notified, and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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Whats black,White and Asian? everything we are all equal

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Where did the boy go after the explosion? Everywhere

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yo mamma's so fat she's fat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A chicken and a triceratops walk into a bar. They both immediately recognize each other and start trading anti-jokes, of which no one else in the bar understood, for they are animals, and animals cannot speak. Which brings up the question of how the triceratops and the chicken would communicate in any way that was conversely accurate to how humans would make jokes. Also adding in the fact that they are both from different eras of time, and the people wonder why a triceratops is walking around when they are in fact extinct. Turns out, the triceratops was an animatronic that gained sentience and ran off the set of Jurassic Park IV, a movie production that was not yet announced, as Steven Spielberg was still working on other movies that were more important at the time. The chicken flew in here because he heard the bar was close-by to where he worked, so he decided to drop by after a long Friday. The bartender finally walks up and asks the triceratops, "What would you like?" The triceratops then went on a rampage and killed everyone inside because he was an alcoholic and lost his family because of it, since his ex-wife would be worked to the bone trying to raise his 2 children and adopted platypus son David. He lost everything in the divorce. Why was he in a bar then? I don't know, I can't talk to dinosaurs. The chicken then befriended the triceratops, as the chicken was a secret anarchist who sought to bring down all the stores on the street, as his mother was killed there while trying to cross the street. She fell into a manhole. The chicken and the triceratops then traded usernames on League of Legends then played out that Friday teaming up and taking down Evil. How do they play League if they're animals? Because this whole story is made up and you wasted a good 2-3 minutes trying to read this.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rihno? Rihno-elephant

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Once upon a time, your dog got hit by a car this morning

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How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender New Doritos Dip

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Tulips are brown, I need to stop working on my flower garden after fisting a cows butthole.

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What do you get when you read a book? More knowledge in your brain.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

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Guess what? Chicken butt

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What do you call a black pilot? a pilot you racist bastard...

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woman's lacrosse

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Call jets pizza at 8637090999 and say porr cisero is still stuck and shit will go down

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Is it colder on a farm than in the winter?

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

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Why doesn't Batman exist? Because he was made up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops