- Anti Joke

how do you fit 100 jews in a car? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back seat, and 95 in the ash tray.

What do you call a man that's very angry? A Very Angry Man.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its coop was on fire.

What's faker than a rich mexican? A unicorn smoking weed

How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

What did the blind, deaf, and dumb child get for Christmas? Cancer.

would you rather harry styles my dick have harry styles suck my dick or both of you style on my harry dick?

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

Why did the american block the road? Because he just ate at Mc donalds.

"I lost the game." Hahahahahahahahahahahaha in your face

What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts.

There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

justin bieber over spongebob snicker

What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Hola.

A young cow died of terminal cancer; he said moo before he died

brittney griner

knock knock whos there? a rapiest get in my van. ok, let me just get my purse

What's the longest word in the English language? Tuna. (I lied about it being the longest word in the language.)

Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

Whats fuzzy and greenand if it falls from a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

Hey Patrick Yea? I found something funnier then 24 Give to me buddy 25

What would you get when you cross a bear and a shark? a highly improbable situation because sharks and bears live completely different environments.

Funeral... You can't spell it without FUN

A black kid, a white kid, an Asian, and a Dane all take acid in a room. They have a profound experience and find a greater meaning in life.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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