What did Tarzan say when he took out his knife? I took out my knife.

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what do you call a man with a bullet hole in his leg? A man who needs t see a doctor.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

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How long did it take Jeff, a middle-aged man with a lifelong speech-destroying lisp, to overcome his impediment? Less than ten minutes, as carbon monoxide is a colorless, odorless toxic gas that eliminates oxygen at a rapidly-acting rate inside of small areas such as the car Jeff locked himself inside.

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Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

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Know what's funnier than the holocaust? Almost everything i can possibly imagine. The holocaust was a terrible case of mass extermination due solely to naxis racist views

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

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A car enters a curve. An ice-cream man pops out from a manhole and throws a pine cone to the car.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A catfish could never pass the LSAT because it is unable to perform high-level critical thinking.

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Dani barton from bob chuckles

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

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How did the dog die? He was put down.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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what did the cow say to the chicken Hey im ralston tyler

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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A: What time is it? B: Half past six.

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It gets very hot in Mianus, Connecticut

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What's worse than breaking your leg and not being able to walk? Breaking your neck because you will most likely not be able to walk from the high probability of being paralyzed for the rest of your life.

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nock nock who's there i eat mop i eat mop ho i didn't know you eat your poo. the wedding is off and go **** yourself in a hole!!

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Yo mamas so stupid that she has a condition called autism

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was in the designated crosswalk area and there was no oncoming traffic.

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Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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