Why did the two blondes decide to ride in one car? Because it's more environmentally friendly than taking two cars.

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Q: What's worse than seeing a scorpion A: being stung by that scorpion

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because chickens can move and the road just happened to be in its path.

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What's better than nailing a baby into the wall? Football.

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When does the Trogdor come? In the Niiiiighhhttttt.

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A. Knock-knock. B. Who's there? A. Hey, your doorbell's broken.

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what did the left nut say to the right nut? The guy above us is a real dick huh?

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What's the only thing more horrible than trash can full of dead babies? A live one at the bottom. What's more horrible than that? He has to eat his way out. What's more horrible than that? He goes back for more. What's more horrible than that? This all took place in my garage while I was watching.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What' do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's puzsy

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My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

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Why does Tim Teblow love men? Logan Cole told him to.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have to use the bathroom.

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A man is standing on the street corner waiting for the bus. As it pulls up he steps on and pays his fare while he whistles to his iPod.

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If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

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Knock knock Who's there. Interrupting cow, sorry you can see where this is going, just let me in without asking any more questions please.

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how did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken..

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Why do deer have horns? Because god made them that way.

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Why don't you ever want to greet your friend Jack on the plane? Because your wife cheated on you with him and she is having his baby, if you were to even think about talking to Jack, you'd end up slitting his throat and throwing him off the side of the plane into a crocodile pit where they will make a feast of his body for the next couple days... So just don't greet Jack

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What did the Asian say after he had a nightmare? Nothing his nightmare was actually reality and a dishwasher fell on him and killed him.

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Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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Why doesn't little jimmy ride his favourite bike to school any more? He was playing on the platform at at the railway station, tripped and fell across the track, at which point a seven carriage train came through at over 150 mph and cut through his upper thighs crushing everything in his legs and causing them to fall off.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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