Knock knock Who's there. Interrupting cow, sorry you can see where this is going, just let me in without asking any more questions please.

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... and so the rabbi says "Don't worry. It was a kosher pickle anyway."

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What do you get when you mix a baby and a fork? An abortion.

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Why did the football player go to the bank? He had to make a deposit and refinance his home.

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What's red and smells like green paint? Red Paint

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What did the Coke can say to the Pepsi can? Nothing it is a inanimate object and cannot speak.

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Why did the blond get fired from her job at the M&M factory? Because she threw out all the M&M's with W's on them.

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Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a mission for N.A.S.A.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

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Question: So, what do you get if you put a live dog, a dead cat, some sugarcubes, and your sisters panties (HORMONES OKAY? EVERYBODY KNOWS HORMONES EQUALS SPICE! Or something anyways...) In a blender until its all red and squishy? The hell I know, but put some Redbull in it, and its fucking delicious!

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"Why did the clown fall off the swing" "he was shot in the face"

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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If you can't read this, you should think about optical enhancement surgery. If you can, however, you just wasted 5 seconds of your life doing so.

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Why does the man hate his job? He thinks working sucks?

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"I have some pretty bad news for you, but to ease into it, I will try to work it into a conversation." -Alright Doctor, let's try that." "Hey, how are you feeling today?" -"I feel great!" "That's odd, because you have leukemia..."

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Why can black people jump shoot and steal? Because society’s stereotypes have influenced people in thinking that African Americans can jump really high, shoot a basketball well and commit theft.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Chickens are not smart enough to open a gate and avoid traffic at the same time!

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Why was the Black person afraid of the chainsaw? Be cause it goes run nigga nigga run nigga nigga run

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A black man and a white woman walk out of a mall restroom holding hands and sweating. The white woman is arrested on the spot for statutory rape and sent to prison for 10 years. The black man was barely 16 years old.

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Yo' mama's so black the dark couldn't even see her.

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What's te best part about having sex with twenty two year olds? There are 20 of them ;)

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Why don't Polish women use vibrators? They are extremely conservative Catholics.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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