-how many potatoes are in a sack -5

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Moral

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What did the southern uncle say to his nephew when he woke up? Good morning, son.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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when your out of toilet paper what do you do? get more

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What hurts more than a bullet? A bullet penetrating your skin, muscle and embedding itself in your body

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What's heavy, black, and when hanging by a rope from a tree, makes white people happy? A tire, in any white football player's backyard.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

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What do you call a fat indian boy Eeeeeeeh fatty boy

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A: Knock Knock B: Whos there A: Orange B: Orange who A: Arent you glad i didnt say chair

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a child swallows a cleaning product, why is he given chocolate milk? to make him happy before he dies

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What did bob get his wife for christmas? Pregnant

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What has one eye, three arms and one leg? A really weird person.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it felt like it!

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what do u call a black men standing on top of a church. holy shit

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What is white and fluffy? A cotton ball.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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What did the Anti-Semitic man say to the Jewish man beside him? Hello.

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Roses are red Violets are red Oh sh*t the gardens on fire

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Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? If I can't have you, I'm going to shoot you through the nails with a nail gun.

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Thank you so much Nero, I have read it and I am crying because I am happy, at first I was worried because I have never cried out of happiness before. But its over. Nero, you underestimate yourself a lot, promise me we will work with that together, sometimes you almost convince me you are as inferior as you say, but then you get out of your shell of doubt your past has caused in you (its not you when you doubt yourself its what they put in you), you are always there when people need you, teach me hypnosis someday and let me remove that part of you which does not allow you to believe in yourself. Dont reply Nero, calm down and sleep, I feel you are allright, I just know.

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it was all Tagart

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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