Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Im a dog. RUUUFFF!

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will both fall over after being hit multiple times with an ax.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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what do u call a apple a apple

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Stranger at door: *Knock knock* Oliver Twist: Who's there? Stranger at door: Not your parents.

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The feds ruined the first underground, so in order for this to not happen you joined them?

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Why did old Mary fall off the cliff? There were no brakes on her wheelchair

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FIRE!!

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Guest what? Dog

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Chuck Norris can right-click with a mac mouse

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A boy walks into a bar. Because he was under-age, security kicked him out as soon as possible and alerted his parents.

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Why did the black surgeon get fired? The hospital was low on funds due to the economic crisis, and had to let a few employees go.

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Why can't the T-rex clap? Because it's extinct

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What do you call a tree with no branches? A stick.

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What do you call a blind man on a jet ski? Dead.

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Sidney Crosby comes face-to-face with Alex Ovechkin. The Penguins were playing the Capitals.

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What happened to the mentaly retarted gentleman walking down the street? Nothing bad. He might a very fine woman and the went to dinner shortly after.

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah

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Roses are red violets are blue your mother is pretty what happened to you.

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What is you problem!? Im retarded, what is your problem?

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q: why are anti-jokes tasteless? A: because they have no flavoure

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What's red ad spins in circles? A baby with it's head nailed to the ground.

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3 men are stranded on an island when they come across a brass lantern. The rub it and nothing happens. They all starve to death a day later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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