A boy has enough money to buy an xbox and a game, but when he reaches the store he is no longer able to buy an xbox and a game, how is this possible? He didnt really have enough money to buy an xbox and a game.

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What would you call Kenny Dalgleish if he was black? Mr Dalgleish in a formal setting, Kenny in an informal one.

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Why was seven afraid of eight? Because eight nine ten.

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because his socks were slightly damp resulting in evaporation and the cooling of his feet, as well as the cold weather in December.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Dead.

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Doctor Doctor i have a shoe in my braces. I bet it smells haha.

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A guy walks into a bar, has a few drinks with his mates and gets highly intoxicated.

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Your mom is so old, she was able to have children around the time you were born.

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What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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What is black and red? Something that is black and red.

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Why is Joe white? Because he's white.

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What do a Jew and a whale have in common? They're both Jewish. Except the whale.

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

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A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides to go to to Lowe's instead.

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a one fingered leper was sitting one day on the beach playing cards. When a stranger asked to play,hide and go seak. well the oner finger leper licked his invisible finger and said "which ways the winds blowing pete. .-poot-

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Kill me? Lol, come get me sis, I can kill you wit my mullet, nobody wants to take my phone, but your sister already replied to my "anna fuck" with "arent you married buddy? :)" yeah a smiley, ill show you! The doors are open, if I fail to take you out, I am not deserving of living futher, course yea mother blusx to everywown, I mean she is horny all the tiem! Anywaz, hurry up, im out of stims so im fallin sleeps, told ur sis to send me a nude pic, rite now... so this mite take 3 minuts. Hey, watch the next pic im gonna send you, that should motivate you to fight me sersly, i men sure im slo, but imma sp ful ov valeium dat i feel nor feear no pain... never feeer pain so whateves... Nah your sis is skinny, thats not here, the pixture is fakye, for now... u dyou know dat she keeps snending them hearte and smile and even a smilei with a rose, thats FLIRIIIIIING! Flirting, anyway you get the picture, but I wont respon anymor becuz i am shuttin down this pc and gonna dream abot the things to0 you sis. ;)

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Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A: The dead baby was once alive, while the ferrari couldn't possibly have lived since it's a car and cars are inanimate objects.

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Why did the gitl fail her cooking class? Because she was abused and severely beaten by her teacher

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are you from hawaii? because your the only ten I see

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Why was the little girl crying? Her parents got divorced yesterday.

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What does the average fishermen catch Fish

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What did the Cow say to the Chicken? Nothing animals cant talk

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Elephants can't jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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