What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

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How do you make an Indian explode? Push the red button

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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A man with Down's Syndrome walks into bar. Bartender asks, "why the long face?"

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So a horse walks into a bar.. and breaks both its front legs. The owner has to shoot it because it can't race anymore

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Knock Knock Who's there? no one, you've got Psycosis

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So a deaf man is listening to the radio.

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? one.

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roses are red violets are pink your nanas in the cowfeild with a bottle of stink... not really shes long gone.

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What do you call a dragon that doesn't breathe fire? A Griffin.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

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What does 2 + 2 equal? 4

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What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Max. Max who? Max who starts his greeting with,  "In accordance with Megan's law"  

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Your mom is such a slut she had sex with your dad on the very first night of their marriage!

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Q: why is halloween scary? A: because your there!!!

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This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

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There once was a man named Steve. One day, Steve stumbled stupidly, shredding his shirt, shoes and shorts and subsequently shocking Susie; a small shy salsa student. When he arrived home, Steve's wife asked "how was your day dear?" Steve panicked at the thought of having to explain this traumatic event, but thankfully he had undergone speech therapy for his lisp.

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Q- what did the magician say after the sawed the woman in half ? A- call an ambulance !

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Why was little timmy's arm crooked His mom tried to pull his arm off.

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Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

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What did the chair say to the guy? Nothing, as it is a chair and chairs can't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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