Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer dragged him.

My penis is small, Just kidding, it's huge.

Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

Q. How are a bird and a turtle alike? A. They both fly. Except the turtle.

How do you spell Mississippi with out an i? You can't because removing an i from the word Mississippi would cause it to be spelled incorrectly.

Roses Are Red Violets are blue A face like yours belong in a zoo Don't worry ill be there too Not in the cage but laughing at you

So anyways, can I have the last comment or not?

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

What do you call when you see a man murder 8 black guys? The police.

Why did the guy die? He had a fatal heart attack.

There once was a woman from Ealing, Who had a peculiar feeling She went to the doctors and was consequently diagnosed with Chlamydia

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

monkeys that understand what people say dont understand what people say because they understand CC

i'm on the sea food diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

You know what's cool? Yep.

How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

they sent me too your moms house and 9 months later you are here

So, there's a lion loose in Colchester. Should've gone to Specsavers... [L]

Knock Knock, Who's there? Satan. Oh **** go away.

A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

What has hands but can't clap? - A Quadraplegic

Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had celebral palsy.

Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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