What is big, red, and beats rocks? A big, red, rock beater.

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What's after 9/11? 9/12

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Stat1st1cs sh0w 0ne 1n f1ve pe0ple d0n't understand b1nary

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Q: What is the leading cause of pedophilia? A: Sexy children.

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How many babies can fit inside a trash can? Seven.

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Why does Santa Claus drink so much hot Cocoa? Because Mrs. Claus got tired of his constant drunkenness and won't allow beer in the house in the house anymore.

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Take my wife. . . . to the hospital. She is dying from a gunshot wound to the head.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a human profession, and the other is a type of fish.

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Why did the stranger sexually assault the woman? --Because he was a sexual predator..

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Q: What did the psychopath dream about? A: An insane chimpanzee kicking his head off, or maybe something normal

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What do you call a black man digging a hole in the ground with a body covered in blood, bruises and stab marks next to him? An gardener, he uses a different type of fertiliser.

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Q. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman? A. Cause you have to hollow out it's head! A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?" The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?" "The sucker called again!"

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My left foot has 6 toes, my right face has 8 Q-tips -Matt

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A high school student finally gets the nerve to ask his long-time crush on a date. They begin dating, and eventually settle down and get married. After six months of marriage, she dies in a car crash and he spends years in therapy.

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What do you call a black priest? Holy Crap

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

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A rapist leaps out a woman and yells "surprise!" and proceeds to have non-consensual intercourse with her. Later, he is arrested by the police and charged with sexual assault.

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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how many letters are in Montana? 7 yes

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I like my women like i like my coffee... with big titis

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What do you call a monkey lost in a desert? A donkey who was forgotten by his owner.

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Would you believe me if i said... ^^^^ You read that line wrong?

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why did the baby cry? Someone threw a brick at his head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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