Chuck Norris once stared in a show called Walker: Texas Ranger.

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Why wasn't Susie happy? because she was raped by her grandfather.

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How do you make Justin Bieber handsome? He already is!

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Tie her down and plant a bamboo seed under her.

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This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, go ask the chicken.

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what's faster than a jet? a speeding bullet. what's faster than a speeding bullet? light.

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- Knock knock - I have a doorbell

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What's the best thing about shrimp? It never goes bad.

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What's the difference between an orange? Two typewriters, because vests don't have sleeves.

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knock knock who's there? penis in penis in who? penis in you

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Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's witness Damn...

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Two men are sitting in a pub. One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.' The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidize her drug habit.'

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I am iron man 24 flavors in my van i am the icecream man i have met jackie chan

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JAmie stegman loves making love with his sister... he loves inbreeds so much

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Is it a sin to love math? Cos I don't. I'm radical about it.

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Fun Fact: If humans stood in a single file line around the equator, most of them would drown.

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So yesterday I went to find a pair of camo pants, And I did

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What did the commentor say when he saw the "waht's worse than finding a worm in your apple...the holocaust." joke? I am offended to your cruel referance to worms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road---- because he's having financial and relationship related problems that make his life so hideously unbearable that he wants to kill himself and because he's a chicken and cannot overdose or hang himself he goes for the most viable option as to run across a busy street in hopes of getting smashed to oblivion by a car

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So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

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Why was my teacher depressed? Because she wanted to live in her pasta

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You know what would be funny? If the Incredible Hulk asked Spiderman to change his diaper.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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