what happened to the 4 year old girl who got stuck in the freezer? She froze.

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Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? He had no arms… Why did he have no arms? Jimmy was a potato

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What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? The baby is not a car.

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4 out of 4 questions. You want to cross the lake, but alligators live in that river. How do you get across? The alligators aren't there. They're all at the lion king's meeting.

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Hey, did you see that episode of Glee last night? It was awesome! Especially that scene where they all sang. It wasn't as good as the previous ones, but I think the show it making a comeback.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Me.

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How do you make a Cowboy cry? You kill his family.

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Why can't the T-Rex clap his hands? Because he's dead.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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Why did the duck turn black? an oil spill

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A young boy is concerned about the well- being of his father, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? This would be unlikely to happen, as it would cut the story short.

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A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

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Why did hitler kill the Jews? Because he had sever mental illnesses and anyone who thinks the holocaust is funny deserves to die a slow death.

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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What do you get when you shoot 3 cute kittens that have just walked into the house? 3 dead kittens

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Yo mama is so old, the bone structure of her spine has decayed significantly since she stopped growing and has therefore shrunken in height considerably. Her face and hands have accumulated abundant visual wear; wrinkles, and has arthritis as well.

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What do you call a Russian man who is on the moon? A cosmonaut

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Gloves.

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Why did the surrealist go to the doctor? Knock Knock.

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What did David say to Goliath? Not sure, does anyone have a Bible?

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who likes it up the anus? jason frisone at saybrook ave 08094 williamstown new jersey thats who

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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