Why do vampires drink blood? Maybe if they existed you could ask one.

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funniest joke ever!!!!!.....chris.

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Why should people with Alzheimer's not tell jokes? To get to the other side.

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Why did no one throw a fridge at the boy on the swing? Because fridges are heavy.

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Nicole Ritchie walks into a grocery store.

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What's black and white and read all over? A zebra family that was just murdered by African poachers.

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How do you say a bad word in your language? Like this: "A bad word in your language"

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ahhh finally removed the splinter I've had for quite some time now. Hopefully that was the last one I'll get for a while...touch wood

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http://www.dafk.net/what/

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Q: Why do some women insist they don't have penises or testicles? All humans have penises and testicles! A: These women have been brainwashed by feminism. It's quite sad, really.

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How do you stop a group of black guys from fighting? go over to them and ask them politely to stop.

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Committing Suicide #YOLO

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. Question is, how did they get in there?

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if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question.

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How do you survive a tornado? You dont.

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why did the baby have a hole in its head? it was shot

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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whyd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side :)

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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Why did the small child cry? He was forced to dig his own grave at gunpoint.

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A man trips on an old bottle. He picks it up and out pops a genie. "I will grant you three wishes!" says the genie. "Whatever you so desire is my com--" "I'm already late for a meeting!" shouts the man. He drops the bottle and continues on.

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What is the biggest lie in everyone's childhood? "School lunch food is actually good."

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What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after being hit by a train.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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