what would abraham lincoln do if he were alive today? scream and try to open his coffin.

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Why did Bob wear a jumper and trousers even though it was a very hot day? Because he is an idiot.

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Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

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When life gives you lemons, Commit felonies

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. He is not served any alcohol because he is not yet 21.

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What's tiny and smells like a big banana? A tiny banana

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A man is walking on the beach, he trips on a mystical lamp and dusts i off a little. turns out that it was just a lamp, he droped it back on the sand and was arrested for littering.

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Hey, you pee here? Yes, it's called a urinal

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The parking lot was across the street from KFC.

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Did you hear about the one about the man who walked into the library? He likes reading

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Why did the person name her OC telephone? I have no idea, please let me know why.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "Only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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What is both blue and yellow at the same time? Green.

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Knock Knock. - Whose there? ... ... ... ... Damn kids.

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What do Vladimir Putin and a snake have in common? A central nervous system, to name but one of the many biological similarities.

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Whats worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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-On a scale of one to ten, what's your favourite colour of the alphabet? -The answer is yes, because aliens don't wear hats.

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What type of vision does an Asian person have? 0-0 because he is blind

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A sixty Year old man walks into a bank to rob it. He tells the bank teller, "Take the money and put it into a bag!" The teller told him, "Sir I don't have a bag." So the old man turns around and walks out.

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why was little johnny crying? he had frogs stapled to his face.

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why couldnt helen keller drive she was a woman

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How did the rock cross the road? It didn't cause it's a rock.

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Wha do you call a couple with aids? 2 pepole who need immediate health treatment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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