What do you call a guy who accidentally cut off his hand in a blender? Stupid.

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What is your favorite joke? I like bar jokes. Okay knock knock Who's there? A bartender A bartender who? A bartender walks into a bar but before he went through the door, he decided to knock on the door because this lame joke is so random.

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What's pink and smells like a red rose? A pink rose.

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A lawyer gets admitted to a bar.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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Why was the Jewish holocaust bad? Because it's joke always end up on anti-jokes and millions of Jewish people where murdered in it.

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These jokes don't have punchlines.

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roses are blue viloets are red this poem doesnt make sense microwave

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Why does your mom not love you.... Because she is not your real mom.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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how long does it take for a black woman to poop? depending on what she ate, about 5 to 10 minutes

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Why is Timmy afraid of x-rays? The last time Timmy had an x-ray, the radiation was too much for him, giving him terminal cancer, which also explains why he will die in the next 24 hours.

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What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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I'm not one to tell gay jokes So I won't

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Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

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What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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what do you get when you cross a scotsman who doe'snt know anything about football,and a indian who doe'snt anything about football .blackburn rovers , and a good night out.

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What would you do for a Klondike Bar? I would probably spend somewhere under 3 dollars at a store, but only if somebody else drives me. I really don't want to drive, not in this gas shortage. You know what...forget it, Klondike Bars make my teeth hurt due to my sensitive teeth problem. I know I should get that sensitive teeth tooth paste, but I always forget when at the store.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple, nothing rhymes with purple.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Where can I apply for janitor school?

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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