nobody move, or i'll kill myself, then her!

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hey

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Knock Knock Who's there? Tank tank who? You're welcome

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Whats worse than a dead dog? 5 dead babies and a dead dog...

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A fat guy, well over 300 lbs, goes to KFC and orders a big bucket of chicken. He gets his bucket of chicken and goes to sit down on a table to eat his chicken. A man walks up to him and asks him "are you going to share any of that chicken?" The man says "no."

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My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

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why can't Amy ride on the rollercoaster? Because she's under the height limit.

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What do you get when you cross something with another thing that one would normally not cross with the aforementioned noun? A better love story than Twilight.

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How many dead babies does it take to fill up a car? Dead babies should be reported to the police and not be stuffed into cars.

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If you go to a restaurant and you have more food on your plate then someone who is obese, you KNOW you have too much food.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

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Alot of people try to make shitty jokes on this webpage, thinking they're funny. They aren't.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes Good. Enjoy your cold drinks.

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Why did the boys shout ZACHATTACK? Because zach was attacking

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Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

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Pi and i are having an argument about the state of modern mathematics. Pi goes into a frenzy and i says "be rational". Pi does not realise that i was just being friendly, and so tells him: "get real". [L]

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a duck, a mexican, a camel, a jew, a duck, a moose, an asian, an ostrich, a turtle, an elephant, a scorpion, two vampires, a pokemon, your mom, Stephen Hawkings, a bird, a plane, mario, your family, and a plumber walk into a bar. They have cancer, AIDS, disabilties, diabetes, herpes, siezures, retardation, death in their families, drug addiction, no arms or legs, no home, no money, racial segregation, and have been raped. A combination of which is worse than the holocaust and three bee stings and a rope that fails.

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abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.

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What's a Gingers favorite drink? Coke!

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Whats red and you can't see it? No Tomatoes

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What do you call a donkey on Christmas? a donkey.

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So a Jew an Asian and a gay guy all walk into a bar... ...I lied. It was an oven.

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how do you make your mom mad? mushroom stamp her face

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Steven bought an apple And then he went home and fed it too his pet Jim (he was a fish and then sadly died from being overfed)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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