If I have 10 apples and you have 45 oranges how many plates can we fit on the roof? Purple because monkeys don’t fly

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A white man, a black man and a muslim walk into a bar. The bar explodes, but the white man is the only one that dies, thanks to reasonable accommodations.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

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Why couldn't Ariel talk in the Little Mermaid? Someone slit her throat.

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Nock Nock It's open.

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I hate it when you can't tell whether a person is male or female.

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Do you want to hear a joke? To bad! :)

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Why is Dave's baby dead? Because his wife threw it into the path a Big-rig.

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what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

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I Hear Boston Is having a blast.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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"Whooaaa Momma." - Says Johnny Bravo

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

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Why do black people make the best milkshakes? because they use the finest ingredients

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AHAHAHAHAHA XD I cant for the life of me imagine Donald Duck accusing anyone of being a seducer XD, my eyes are tearing up XD If I do not type anything more, its because I died of laughter and joy XD But those "cartoons" where made for adults, ever seen steamboat Willie? That is one of my favorites, I always liked Mickey Mouse a bit better, Donald kinda changed a lot.

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A man is playing pacman, on his last life, and is cornered. He inserts another coin in the slot.

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What do a squirrel and a cucumber have in common? They both cant ride bikes

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What's big, wet and yellowish-green at midnight? I don't know. That's why I'm asking.

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Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

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if life give you lemons. put them in the fridge they should be there...

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What is it about homosexuals that's so gay? What is it about heterosexuals that's so straight? What is it about an apple that's so gay?(Because it's a FRUIT right?) What is it about penises that's so straight?

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How do you stop a black person from drowning? You toss him a flotation device.

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What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

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If I were a cat, would you help with the toast?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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