What did the ketchup say to the mustard? Nothing they're just condiments.

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Why did the the dog not eat its food? Because the night before the dog had gotten serious disease and lost appetite

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A blackman and an asian are walking down the street they pass eachother exchange looks and continue on with their day

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What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree and lands on you, you'd die? A pool table.

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What does Michael have in common with NASA? Not a lot.

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I you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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Tony Blair, Micheal Jordan, Fabrice Muamba, Aunty Josephine, Nick Clegg, David Cameron, and myself all go out for drinks.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Cuz the chicken crossed the road

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

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What did the bartender say when the black man walked into the bar? Hello, what would you like to drink?

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your mom is so fat.

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? Tell them to come down

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A Holocaust survivor.

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What's worse than a stain on your carpet? Two stains on your carpet

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Why do black people sit so far back in their seats? Because they're used to sitting in the back of the bus

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A blind man walks into a bar and a table and a lady....

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have 5 Fingers The Middle One's For You!! :D

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KASEEM IS CRAP AT GEARS OF WAR THIS IS NOT A JOKE ITS TRUE (FACT) PLAYSTATION IS BETTER THEN XBOX (BIGGEST JOKE EVER) IV HAD BOTH, SO SHUT UP PS3 BOYS AKA GIRLS

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it because it isn't coming.

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whats the hardest part about eating a vegitable getting your mouth around the wheelchair.

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What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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"I love you, you love me" And you didn't just read that; you sang it.

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A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

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Let's say you're inside a building and you are lost. You need to find directions to get out. But the building is so big almost like a maze or labyrinth. You start walking until you see 2 doors and each door is guarded by a man. Now in between the 2 doors is a message on the wall. It says: "Dear friend, I assume that you are lost and want to get out. There is hope! You have an option to choose one of these doors guarded by these men. You may ask one of these men which door leads to freedom. However, 1 guard ALWAYS tells a lie and 1 guard ALWAYS tells the truth. If you are to choose the wrong door, you will be locked in the building forever. So choose wisely and ask the right question. Good luck! Sincerely, the owner of the building." So you think to yourself and try to figure out what the hell did you get yourself into. This is a very tricking situation. You have one liar and one honest man. How can you tell which is lying and with is telling the truth? After minutes of confusion and thinking, you have finally decided to ask one guard a question. ----spoiler alert----- So you ask the guard one question. "What would the other guard say is the door to freedom?" The guard said "This door" You choose the opposite door and you are now free. The End [Explanation: You have 2 doors. Let's say door A is losing and door B is winning. If you ask the liar what would the other guard say, he we lie and say door A. So you pick the opposite door, which door B and you win. Now if you ask the truth teller what would the other guard say, he we tell the truth and say the same answer, door A. So you pick the opposite door and win]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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