Roses are red, violets are blue, I have alzheimer's, cheese on toast

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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One muffin doesn't say anything to another muffin while baking in an oven because they lack the organs necessary to attain properties of speech and thought

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What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney loves you.

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Why did nobody bother to help the old lady cross the road? Because her actions in recent years had given rise to considerable division and ill-feeling within the community.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

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Why did the woman drop her keys? She was being raped.

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Yo mama's so ugly, She cured cancer.

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Why is it impossible to travel faster than the speed of light? Because it travels pretty darn fast.

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How are trees and friends alike? They are both subject to fall when struck with an axe.

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Why do we need to keep answering encryption codes? Because you can't keep a good Jew down (Wyndellberg)

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what the difference between Obama and osama bin laden nothing

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I stole all your jokes, I stole this one too.

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this website...

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Q: What's big, brown, and smell like crap? A: Turd.

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How do you make a Plumber cry? Kill his family.

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did you know, that a Bear has 42 teeth? massive erection.

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Two blonds are driving to Disneyland. While there driving they see a sign "Disneyland: left" So they started crying and headed back home.

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What's the difference between a cult leader and a television personality? On average, 3.2 inches.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Three men walk into a bar. Neither of them saw it coming

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Your Mum's so fat, she's going to die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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