Q: What did the shark say while eating the surfer A: Nothing, his mouth was full, and besides....sharks cannot talk.

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Yesterday, my friend said I should facebook him. So I slammed a book into his face.

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Why does Michael j. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses the finest ingredients

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Whatever you like, it can't hear you.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not her.

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What's an Anti Joke?

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HOLY SHIT, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

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What do you call a gay Chinese math teacher? A gay Chinese math teacher.

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How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

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What do you call a Mexican playing basketball? A man of hispanic heritage that enjoys the sport of basketball.

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What do you call cheese that isn't your's Well it would depend on what type of cheese it actually is

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Why did the boy die? He got hit by the school bus.

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Roses are red And heres something new Violets are violet They're not friggin blue

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Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are red Violets are blue whilst you reading this I just raped you

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Stephen Hawking wheels into the Center for Theoretical Cosmology.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? We both share the same ethnicity

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What's worse than getting an erection in church Getting an erection while naked in church

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Knock knock. Who's there? To. To who? To whom.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint.

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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