Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

what's black, white and doesn't float? the titanic

why did the chicken cross the bread? because chicken salad

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Traveling Salesman.

Why did the black man win the staring contest? He's good at staring

Why was Timmy crying? because his impaled his dog while in a drunken rage

What did the cancer patient do during Willow Smith's "Whip My Hair"? -Nothing.

Why is 16 scared of 17? Because 17, 18, 19 *crickets*

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

William Wright. 8 perry street Answer-Gay

Knock knock. Who's there?

Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

You are so average that, if you entered an average contest, you'd come in middle place.

There were three men named manner, poop, and shut up. they all were mad fun of in middle school and ended up hating their parents for giving them such retarded names.

Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

A man and a woman meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant

69 :) 3====D:). [{}]:)

Q. A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for a book on suicide? A. The librarian hands the man a book on suicide

Once upon a time There was an ugly barnacle He was so ugly That everyone died The end!

Why did the Muslim suicide bomber commit suicide? He was nervous and didn't think he could hijack a plane.

What has two legs and graduated from ninja school? Okyrin Sakajuru. He also went on to win two all city titles and roundhouse kick of the day, performed on a wild tiger. As time passes, he stops practicing and becomes a lethargic street criminal. He is eventually captured by local authorities and charged with the robberies and two counts of aggravated assault. Leaving his children behind to the system where they are neglected and depressed about their fathers situation. He makes bail after 3 months and opens a strip club for dwarfs but loses it all after not finding stripper poles that are dwarf friendly.

Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practice.

what do u call a fat guy in a pool u

What do you call a room full of lawyers? A group of legally educated professionals.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...