Two elephants were out flying. Then one elephant said to the other: My grandmother has a pink toothbrush!

Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

What happens when you mix bath salts, marijiuana, and crack cocaine and proceed to inject it into your body in some manner? You have one of the biggest trips of your life in which it will ware off and you will proceed with your life

Why did Helen Keller cross the road? BECAUSE SHE WAS A BITCH!

How is butter and your mom similar? They both consist of much fat.

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

There are 500 bricks on an airplane. If you drop one out, how many are left? 499. There are three steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator. What are they? Open the fridge, put the elephant in, close the fridge. There are four steps to putting a deer in the fridge. What are they? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the deer in, close the fridge. The Lion King is having a birthday party. All the animals are there but one. Why is that? The deer is in the fridge. A woman wants to cross an alligator infested swamp. How does she do it? She crosses normally because the alligators are at the Lion King's party. She dies anyways. Why? She gets hit in the head with a brick.

Your mom is so fat she should be concerned about her increased risk of heart failure.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

25

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, You Have A Face That Belongs At The Zoo, Don't Worry I'll Be There With You, Not In The Cage But Laughing At You!!! :D

A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

Yo mama so fat she at the rest of this joke.

How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

What did Chuck Norris say when he stubbed his toe? "Oh shit I stubbed my toe."

What is black and white and red all over? Two Nuns in a chainsaw fight.

What's worst than finding a repeated joke on anti-joke? finding a real joke on anti-joke

Q : WHAT DID THE SMALL SHEEP SAY TO THE BIG SHEEP ? Z : BÆÆÆ

Why do blacks have a little white on their hands? God has always said that everybody has a little good in them.

How can you tell when a African man is lying? Like any other person you would use a lie detector.

why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

Why didn't Jimmy do well at school? Because he was recently in a car accident, which severely damaged his brain, making it difficult for him to learn things, because of his severely damaged brain, which he got in a car accident, which he was recently involved in.

Guess what?..... I once saw a black man who had a job that wasnt on work release........

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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