how do you know Newcastle are losing? its 5 past 3

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why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

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Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

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A woman went for a midnight jog. She's been missing for 12 years now.

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tea with milk?

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hello juliano and guss. having fun?

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Yo mama is so fat she needs to wear extra large.

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An asian man and his friend walk into a bar. They both order a few drinks and drink them responsibly. They then pay for their drinks, and drive home to their loving families.

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How does santa deliver presents? He doesn't, because he's not real!

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why does crazy george spin a ball on his fingers well? because he has a huge dingo

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A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

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What's the song that goes like, duh duh da duh duh duh da da do?

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whats the difference between justin beiber and a gay guy? both guys and girls like gay guys

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An African-American man calls KFC. An employee answers. "Thank you for calling KFC." The man replies, "I'm sorry, I must have dialed the wrong number."

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Two men walk into a bar, they weren't looking where they were going.

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"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

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Why was the baby crying? Because it was on fire.

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

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Every 5 seconds a child dies in Somalia. Good news is there are 4 second intervals when a child isn't dying in Somalia. I say kill them all

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holy F**k someone call an ambulance!

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Why is Abraham Lincoln a bad driver? Because he is dead.

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Knock knock! Go away. I'm busy masturbating, and it would be extremely awkward if you were to entire my residence at this time. Please return at a later hour.

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When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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