What did the doctor say to the female car crash victim? Nothing she was dead when he walked in the room.

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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Yes or No? You're wrong because it was both.

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what happens when I bought a car. A man stole it from me and killed my family.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Traveling Salesman.

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HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

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What is the key to a good anti-joke? A disappointing or intellectual punch-line said in a calm and passive tone.

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Do you have emotional issues, ever have a really bad day and just wanna talk call this number (402-314-5287) < N1GGER

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Why was the tree sad? Trees cannot think or move, and thus cannot feel emotions.

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How did the guy fall off the roof? He was pushed

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care?

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what did the white car look like... a black car but the color is different

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Were both dogs!

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how do you wake up lady gaga you poke her face

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Alright then, call me sometime then.

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What does a human have in common with a tree?? You can cut a humans leg of and count the....oh wait

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Why were trash man's hands dirty? He got shot in the leg and desperately tried to get the bullet out with his hands and got blood all over them and ass he was running to the hospital he tripped into shit.

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Why did the man lose his job at the orange juice factory? Because the economy is shitty and none of the higher ups are willing to take a pay cut and they’re still paying themselves massive bonuses, the result of which are layoffs across all departments.

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? the bear got shot

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A black man, a jew, and an atheist are on a boat. Suddenly the boat started sinking. A mermaid would only save two of them. who do did she save? Mermaids don't exist. The all died. They were my friends.

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

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What did the mexican firefighter name his kids? Jose and Pablo

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What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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