Fact: When you die, you can't eat ice cream!

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Three moose were in the middle of the road. They were then shot by a maniac hunter.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This difference is due largely to the alteration of the white light wavelenght as it excites the electrons in both flowers and the absorption of most of the other colours of the spectrum.

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A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it. "I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

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What does the fox say? A scream-y howl. A shrill, hoarse scream of anguish, it sounds more than anything like a human baby undergoing some kind of physical torture.

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The bartender says "We don't serve time travellers here". Two time travellers walk into a bar.

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Why is there a black president? Cause you voted for him. Thanks! Dick.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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Chuck Norris was so famous we was casted for the show Walker, Texas Ranger

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A girl walks into a supermarket. She picks up a banana, a can of soup, and a loaf of bread. She then walks up to the cash register to pay. The cashier looks at her and the items she has and says, "I can tell you're single." She smiles and responds, "How do you know that?" He says, "Because you're ugly."

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So a cat a dog are in a field.The dog then proceeds to eat the cat and take a nap

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The holocaust.

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obama is a good president

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Where did Wendy decide to work for her part time job? TACO BELL

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why was the woman out of the kitchen, because she had to have sex with her husband in a bed

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Jesus, Buddha and Mohamed walked into a bar and say: "There is as much validity in this fiction as in our collective works.

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what do ninjas and gay people have in common... if you eat them they will no longer be alive

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A man took a police officers gun and threw it at a baby in a stroller. He went to jail.

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why did the kid go in his room and lock the door. to masturbate

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Why was the black man running? He has to stay fit for the army.

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I love you You love me We all grab 2X4's Barney's on the floor No more purple dinosaur.

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Why couldn't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? He was struck by a very serious disease, otherwise known as refrigerator to the face, at the age of 5.

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Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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