Why did the weiner dog have a bad childhood? Uncle Monty put his foot up its arse on a daily basis before chewing dorris's nose, ears and eyelids.

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This sentence is not humorous in any fashion whatsoever.

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A Weight loss service that works

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Why did the Harry Potter fan cry in school? She ran out of tampons.

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What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? 'Where's my tractor?'

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Why did Bob scream "Nurrrrrrrrr!!"?.....because he was mentally challenged.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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Mail Man: *Knocks on door* Guy & Girl: WHAT?! *laughing* Mail Man: Mail! Guy & Girl: Hold on she is almost done with the whip cream.

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BIM slowly fucks old women in the dark so they think its rape then he slips his hand up there ass and rips out there heart

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Your mother is so ugly that nobody wants to date her because she is hideous.

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What do you get when you put a frog in a paper shredder? Harshly punished by the Animal Humane Society

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because seven threatened to murder his family

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do you like walffles?Yes I like walffles!

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Why is 6 afriad of 7? because 7 killed 8 with a pistol and is now on a killing spree.

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why couldn't max ride his bike? because max is a goldfish.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-BD0nWgoIw

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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How do you fit 1000 babies into a trashcan? You don't that would be wasteful! You Eat Them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Did you hear about the blonde that went to college? She got a degree.

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Did you hear the one about the bus driver? Me neither

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How many apples do you end up with if your dog is a golden retriever who got raped by a giant scorpion? A jail

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In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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