How do you kill a blonde? Drench her in fluoroantimonic acid and watch her explode in a violent and gruesome death.

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Jayden Eccles

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?? Where's my tractor?

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How do you make a unicorn? Jab a stick through a pink horse and name it Liam

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Why did the black man buy 3 boxes of condoms? Because he practices safe sex and they were on sale.

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Oh please! Come on! Those that got to us where mostly Russians remember? And what where my parents? (if you do not know you might have guessed it by now) I found a guy that looked about the same as me, messed him up and put my jacket on him, I do not die that easily. Anyway, id explain more, but I have been without these fucking painkillers so long that I am talking trash on this stupid site again... Seriously the pain I am used to, but this addiction on painkillers is a bitch... (shedog if censor got a hold on it) But it turns out I cant sleep without them, sleep just does not come anymore, so Ill go get some now. Who are you by the way? I am Nero7, Aka Axel Knight.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had Down-Syndrome.

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What do you call a black man with a speech impediment? By his name.

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why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

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How do you beat someone in a video game? You win it.

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Q: How do you learn the best break dance moves? A: I don't know. You figure it out.

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What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

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what do you get if you put in a pan- a raw chicken, a lemon, assorted vegetables, onions, maybe some soy sauce, and a little olive oil then place this pan into an oven for around two hours, allowing the chicken to moisten. then serve with the assorted vegetable .supper.

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Whats numbing and smells like burning toast? A stroke.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had heard this joke so many times that it drove him so mad that he grabbed an ice cream, stepped into the road, and was hit by a bus, purposely adding an ironic effect to his death.

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If 2 trains are going 60 mph, their going in opposite directions towards each other, they are slowing down 1 mile per hour per 10 miles and they are 100 miles away, would you rather have Coke or Pepsi?

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Q:What's better than getting 500 million dollars A:Nothing

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What is the difference between a rat and an italian? nothing.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe

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what do you call anybody eating at mcdohnalds? hungry, diabetic people

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Jon "Bones" Jones will be fighting Rashad Evans for the Light Heavyweight title tonight at 10PM Eastern time at UFC145.

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What did the African-American get for Christmas? Nothing. I did mention he was African-American, right?

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen my mixtape? It's really FIRE.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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