What's red and green And moves at 300mph A frog in a blender

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what did one gagged man say to the other gagged man? nothing he was gagged

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Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth she has lacked a jaw

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? Because he crossed the road

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Knock, knock who's there? Steve Evans. Steve Evans who? You've already forgotten me? We just met on Eharmony yesterday.

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Why couldn't Timmy go to the bathroom? He was constipated.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

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A man gets a new job working for his boss. Later, he beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later concluded that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

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That akward moment when you tell a person you like them and they don't respond.

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What do Jews always complain & want money for? Anything

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What happened to the guy that got shot? He fell down

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A muslim bought tickets for a 3pm flight. It was 11am, so in the mean time, he went to a bar to loosen up. His bomb vest accidently went off early, killing everyone in the bar. The flight arrived on-time in San Fransico.

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What happened to the lady living in the present, crossing a street? Let's watch her and find out.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What do Barbra Streisand and Danny Glover have in common? Nothing.

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Why did the black man not tip his waiter? Because she provided terrible service and was undeserving.

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What happened to the Mexican who commited suicide? He died.

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Why did the white girl fuck the mexican? Because her teacher told her to do an "essay"

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What's black, white and red and can't turn round in corridors? A nun with a spear through her head

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Communism, Capitalism and an Irish man walk into a bar. Communism says, “I’ll buy the drinks but I require your complete obedient consent.” Capitalism says, “No I’ll buy the drinks but I require that you pay me back with interest” and the Irish man says “No I… I don’t feel very well at all… Oh shite I’ve got the bloody runs!” He then proceeds to shit myself.

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Why did the Octopus jump off the bridge? To breathe

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Your playing NBA 2k12 and some one steals the man your covering and you scream "THAT'S MY MAN!" what sounds wrong in this situation?

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had an extra penis.

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Why should you paint a canoe black? Being the darkest color, it will hide dirt, scratches, and normal wear and tear on your canoe better than lighter colors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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