Want to burn 3000 calories in under 5 MINUTES? Take a store bought pizza and put it in the over for as long as you want. Just watch the calories burn away in a puff of smoke!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one who? Cares.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I found my car in the lot with a broken tail-light and a note under the windscreen wipers. I accidentally reversed into your car, Lots of people saw me do it. They all think I'm writing down my name and details, Well, I'm not.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was Samuel L. Jackson so tired of those motherf***ing snakes on that motherf***ing plane? Because if snakes are loose on a plane, they might bite you.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Dude 1: Hey, ya see these coins here? Dude 2: ya, what about em'? Dude 1: would you say you see these pretty often? Dude 2: yup... :/ Dude 1: so would you call them COMMON CENTS!?!?!?!?!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the priest circumcised? He had a very painful urinary tract infection

thumb_up thumb_down -2

boobs!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Charlie Sheen is winning

thumb_up thumb_down -26

My dads so gay he has sex with other men for fun.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What's green and goes round and round and round? A: A baby on a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +10

My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Did you hear about the deer? He had antlers. If antlers where a kind of disease, that would be a pun.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

The people who posted those extremely long "jokes" down there have no life.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Whatever his parents named him

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Yeah Aodhans been typing up everything strting argument along with taggart

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the black man wash his feet? PHOIT!!!! He washed his feet in a bird bath... Too bad his car got thrown off a cliff by a bald eagle with no feathers?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

"I want a boyfriend for these cold winter nights" ... Shut up you slut go buy a blanket.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the Asian man say to the taxi driver? Diarrrhea

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Today, my doctor discovered I had a tumor in my brain the size of a walnut. FML.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops