Why did the girl fall off of the swing? They threw a fridge at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What starts with P and ends with ORN? Popcorn! What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck! What starts with S and ends with EX? Spandex!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

One terrible stormy night, the citizens of Ristoville were hiding from the monsterous lightning cloud approaching them. Little Jonny Harrison, however, was not afraid. This boy had been bullied from the ripe young age of about 14 months by his closest friend, Uncle Oliver, who happens to be a Catholic Priest. Jonny wanted to face the storm, with 6 years behind him, he thought it bizzare that anything worse than Uncle Oliver's magical basement could be brought unto him. He grabbed his supply of Cheese and Onion Quavers, a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Flavoured Ribena, his pretend mobile, a 10ft long metal conductor and his pet grape, "Christopher", and set out for the journey of his life. He told his terminally ill mother that he is going for the adventure of a lifetime, his dad that he wishes him well, and finally, his Grandmother, Rosie Harrison, who has had a severe addiction to meth for almost 25 years now, who has had over 13 interventions and countless attempts at suicide, that he loves her with all of his strong, brave heart, and to hang in there. Little Jonny Harrison takes his first step outside, facing the eye of storm with a little bit of pee in his pants, squeezes his Ribena, slightly squirting it and throwing it heroicly to the drooping wet grass, and screams to the cloud, at the top of his lungs, the words, "I am unstoppable!". Jonny died of HIV induced AIDS and his Uncle was given three to five years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation and consistent domestic abuse and paedophillia. His Grandmother, Rosie, also died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

This is my first joke don't ????mine. You did didn't you.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Knock DAMMIT WOMAN MAKE ME A SAMMACH

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's the difference between a baby and a pineapple? Pineapples were not shot by nazis during the holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

KEVIN CRUMMY SMELLS LIKE SARAHS (I)

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the kid use to smell his food His nose

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats funny and has four wheels? A handicapped 11 year old boy getting raped by his father

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you drown a blonde. Put a Scratch N Sniff at the bottom of a pool and tell her to sniff it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful busness man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q. What do you call a bear ripping a man to pieces? A. A bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why do all the Republicans hate Obama? He's a Democrat.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q:what do you call a black man in a wheel chair? A: a war veteran who accidentally stepped on a land mine while trying to protect his country.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What has legs but can't walk? A table...or a dog with four broken legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock. Who's there? Salesmen. Does this smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What is the difference between a horny college girls and a horny high school girl? A: Usually, an age will seperate people in different grades. Also, what grade their in.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's green, and looks like money? Money...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many vampires does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Vampires do not exist

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many omish people did it take to screw in a lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How are jello and frankenstein alike? Both green, both alive, and bill cosby didn't make me want either.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a man who just came home from a 72-hour work shift ? You don't call him, you let him sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops