Why did the woman cross the road? Why the hell is she out of the kitchen!

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Q: What is harder than cleaning off baby bloodstains off a wall? A: Cleaning multiple baby blood stains off a wall.

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color blind person solves a rubix cube just kidding thier color blind

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Why was Yabba annoyed? Because the idiots who do the audio description voiceover for Timmy Time on BBC iPlayer frequently refer to her as a male even though she is clearly a female duck.

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Q: Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? A: A burglar

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How do you stop a group of black guys from fighting? go over to them and ask them politely to stop.

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What did the lawyer say to the lawyer We are both lawyers

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Why was Adolf Hitler such a bad man? Because he never kissed his wife goodbye.

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What's faker than Nicki Minaj's tits? Women rights.

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Q:what's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat A:The wheel chair

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lol

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A boy grows up loving tractors. For birthday and Christmas each year he got a tractor toy of some kind, until the age of 17, when he finally gave up tractors and got himself a CD player. One day, listening to all the latest tunes with some headphones, he looks outside to see his neighbour's house on fire. He goes outside to find firemen trying to put out the blaze. He jumps into the blazing house and inhales as much as he can, which astonishingly puts out the blaze. A fireman confusing asked "How did you do that?" The boy replies, " I'm an ex-tractor fan."

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why did everyone laugh at the kid in the wheel chair as he entered the room? he was poor

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Nobody because Repeat is a good friend and he went in after Pete.

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like a cammel, lewis stores his weed in his back

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Chuck Norris tried to return some jeans to Target and when they didn't give him his money he kickeed them in the face.

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Yo mama's so skinny, she should probably go in for eating disorders' counseling.

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o | ,'~'. / \ | ____|_ | '___,,_' .----------------. | ||(o |o)| ( KILL ALL HUMANS! ) | ------- ,----------------' | _____| -' \ '####, ------- /________\ ( ) |) '_ ' ,------|\ _ /_ / | |_\ || /_ /| | o| _\ _|| /_ / | | |\ _\____//' | ( ( | | | (_,_,_,____/ \ _\ | ------| \ _\|_________| \ _\ \__\\__\ |__| |__||__| ||/__/ |__||__| |__||__| |__||__| /__)/__) /__//__/ /__//__/ /__//__/. .' '. '. (_kOs____)____)

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The feds ruined the first underground, so in order for this to not happen you joined them?

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I think everybody should have a penis. Does that make me a bad feminist?

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So, a man walks into a bar. Suddenly, the universe around him cracks, unable to sustain the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

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A horse walks into a bar, prompting the show-jumping judges to subtract points for failing to clear the obstacle.

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What's pink and smells like chicken? A pink hair band, I was lying about the chicken part.

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Mail Man: *Knocks on door* Guy & Girl: WHAT?! *laughing* Mail Man: Mail! Guy & Girl: Hold on she is almost done with the whip cream.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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