Jovan

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Show me the money! Said the man last wednesday.

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Why did the tortoise cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Bean.

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What smells like weed? the person who smoked it.

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police, your entire family has died in a terrible car accident.

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What did the squirrel say to the other squirrel? Squirrels can't talk.

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What is worse than getting a bad grade on a test. Having your family dog bled out in front of you, bitch.

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Your Mom

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what is blue and fluffy, a blue fluff. what is red and fluffy, a polar bear wiped in red paint. you probably should not have done that because now the polar bear is chasing after you.

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YOU AINT GOT NO PANCAKE MIX the preacher then bitchslaps the black man

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yo mama so ugly she made a happy meal frown.

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What's Jewish and gay? Henry Shine

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A man walks into a bar and starts telling anti-jokes to his friend. His friend is a follower and laughs even though they aren't funny.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What's worse than a kid being bullied at school? A kid being bullied at school, to go home and be raped by his stepdad.

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What did the guy and girl do at the wedding? Nothing, The guy is gay

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Guy #1: Knock knock Guy #2: Whos there? Guy #1: Interrupting murderer Guy #2: Interrupting murd.... Guy #1: STAB!!!

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Q: Ask me how far have you gone with a girl? A: Mexico

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What's white and hides in a tree. A refrigerator.

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Q. Knock knock A. Who's there Q. DEEZ A. DEEZ who A. DEEZ NUTZ HA GOT EEEEEM

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1.....2.....3.....boom you died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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