Obama

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What do you get when you divide 60000 by 30? A Number

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What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

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yo momma is so fat that she got diabetes and lost her legs

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roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

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Racial Equality

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A Chinese man, an American man, and a Mexican man are sitting in an airplane. When the flight attendant comes by with food, the Chinese and American both opt for pretzels, while the Mexican prefers crackers and makes his selection accordingly. The three sit back and enjoy their snacks separately.

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What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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Bob- yo mammas soo fat tha.. Joe- I know...

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How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

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Knock Knock Who's there? There's a peephole on your door why don't you go ahead and look

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 new what 6 and 9 were doing.....

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Q. How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A. 17.

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I found someone on the ground who wasn't breathing and had no pulse.They must have been in a damn deep sleep.

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Q: Why can't sally play on the swing? A: Because she has no arms Q: Who was the first to climb mount everest? A: Not Sally

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Why does Courtney smell? she has a severe lack of personal hygiene which needs addressing,

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Your mama is so ugly, when she looks in the mirror it displays her reflection like all mirrors do

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Why did the woman spray a black man in the eyes with pepper spray, then promptly run away? Because the woman was a notorious criminal and was currently robbing the man's house, but was caught in the act so she used pepper spray as her last line of defense while she fled from the scene before the man could call the police to detain her and put her in prison for her crimes.

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Z.

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A child logs on to antijoke.com he is a chronic masturbator

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Why did the women cover up her vaginal area? She was with her friends, queefed, and was extremely self conscious.

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How do you stop a black kid from bouncing on the bed? Put Velcro on the cealing.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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