Two guys walk into a bar. The Third ones a duck

Whats black and hangs from trees in my backyard? blackberries..

Why did little Lisa fall off the swings? She had no arms

What rhymes with car? Not kangaroo

Why did the baby cross the road? 'cause i kicked it.

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

What do a bunch of dead babies look like in a blender? I don't know I was too busy masturbating.

A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

A

Whats more fun than swinging a baby around on a clothesline at 200 miles per hour ? Stopping it with a shovel

How do you get a movie star to go out with you? Blackmail.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: In order to avoid being mauled by a coyote.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

roses are red violets are blue my dick is long longer then you

You and your wife walk into a bar, you both order a drink and celebrate your good health.

What do you call a comedian who can;t make people laugh? A bad comedian.

Why wasn't the girl raped? Cause she wasn't attractive.

Brittney Spears

Doctor, doctor, I think I've got a problem! Correct, you have got acute cancer, you have 2 months to live.

Hitler was Jewish.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

Major League Soccer

When A White Man Sees A Magic Trick - He Claps When A Black Man Sees A Magic Trick - He Does Handstands, Celebrations, And Shouts

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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