Why did the German Constitutional Court issue Decision 2 BvR 1390/12 on September 12, 2012? Because they wanted to refuse the request for a temporary injunction in regards to the European Stability Mechanism!

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What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

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You're flying over a lake in your canoe and the wheels fall off. How many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? None! because ice-Cream doesn't have legs!

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How do black guys say hi to each other? Hi.

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Which is better; having a billion dollars or a trillion dollars? Trick Question, you aren't that rich.

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Two muffins are in the oven, one muffin says "Gosh it's hot in here!", the other muffin says "HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!".

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A: How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Q: None! They shouldn't have to...

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What did the guy say to the mushroom?

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Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

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Holy fuckfarts! I did mention I am at my mothers place right? What am I saying? What am I typing? Marry me now!

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A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

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How many jews can fit into a car? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, 6 million in the ash tray

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Why were you in an igloo? I don't know, why were you?

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Why did the black man run out of the shop with items under his jacket? He was shopping for groceries, when his brother texted him, letting him know that his wife had just gone into labour. He then realised that it was a very miserable rainy day outside and he didn't have an umbarella, so he payed for his items, and ran to his car.

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How do you make Adolf Hitler angry? You can't, dead people are not sentient, and hence cannot feel anger.

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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Knock Knock whose there? ach ach who? bless you

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What do you call a mexican running out of a bank? A man running late to pick up his kids.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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Why did Dr. Phil fall of the swing? He couldn't figure out the couples problem.

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Hey, guess what? What? Dammit!

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What did the sheep say to the Commonwealth Committee on September 11 2001? Baabaaabaaaahhh

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Why do innocent boys have wet dreams? Cause Jesus sucks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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