A Black, a Jew and a Hispanic walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this some kind of a joke?"

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When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with Nickelodon? You get Dora because she is allways telling you what to do.

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Why did the man rob a convenience store? Don't ask why, call the police! He could be robbing more stores!

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People say the sky's the limit................................ but there's footprints on the moon.

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If she's old enough to count, she's probably in second grade.

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Why was the fat person sad? Because he was fat.

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What happens when you agree to disagree? You extend the duration of the argument.

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock out a window.

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Drunk guy... Hey i just maybe And this is number But here's my crazy So call me met you

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Whats worse than malaria? Dying from it.

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your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

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Q: Why do Mexicans love rice and beans? A: Because it's fairly easy to grow in places with relatively low rainful and high temperatures like that in which they live in.

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what do you call a grown man driving a plane you dont it isnt possible to drive a plane

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What did the you know what screw this I'm sick of making these stupid jokes there all the same. Hang on hang on What did the pirate do to the dog yes This style of joking is so different I'm going to be a famous comedian oh wait there's a whole bloody website full of these. O look another one and another one and another one that knife over there looks really nice right now

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what is the meaning of life? i dont know, but im fairly sure its not 42

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28

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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I am dyslexic

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Why are old people such terrible drivers? As we age, our eyesight slowly deteriorates and our reflexes become slower. So, in order to be cautious, the elderly avoid high speed chases and such to maintain their and others safety. Or they could have alzheimers and not realize they are in a moving vehicle at all, it's really a tossup

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Q: What did zero say to the eight? A: Nice belt

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Jerry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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