What did the bicycle say to the fat kid? Nothing, bikes cant talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

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Why did Justin Bieber jump out of the airplane? He didn't, i pushed him

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Why wasn't the 7 year old boy happy? I shot him

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Robin, get in the car.

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What's one plus one? 2. Two legit, two legit to quit, hey, hey... What's one plus two? 3. Easy as abc, 123, abc, baby you and me. What's one plus three? 4. hes a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow.

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Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

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When will pigs fly? When they grow horns

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't cross it. He was pushed.

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What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

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Why was the child lying in the scrap yard? because he was being torn apart by guard dogs.

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What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

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You will not press the like button.

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okay.....

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Why Was Mary Short? She Had No Legs.

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Why do black people make the best milkshakes? because they use the finest ingredients

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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What's black, white and red all over? A cow after slaughter.

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roses are red, violets are blue, apparently you are blind or else I wouldn't be telling this to you.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

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only in america: does pizza arrive at your house faster than an ambulence do banks leave their doors open and chain their pens to the desks people put their usless junk in the garage and thier expensive cars in the driveway

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a cat gets mauled by a dog. it died later that day

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What do you do when life hands you lemons? Such a statement assumes that life is an actual person, which is impossible. Thus, you do not need to concern yourself with what you must do when life hands you lemons.

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A viking walks into a bar, and orders 6 beers. the man working asks "why did you order so many beers?" the viking says"because one for me 6 brothers who were separated from me many years ago." then he leaves. the next morning the viking walks into the bar, and orders 5 beers.the man working says"im sorry for your loss." the viking says"what? oo no im just getting tierd of drinking!'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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