What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

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A black man walks into an all white bar. He was escorted out, ten months later he died of a heart attack

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What's more dangerous, a big rock or a small one? It doesn't matter. You can blame my mom for having me.

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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What did the white guy say to the Mexican guy? Nothing he realize that the Mexican guy probably didn't speak English and he couldn't speak Spanish so conversing with this man would have been pointless.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I know.

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What did the boy say 9+9 was? The Holocaust

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The awkward moment when a joke doesn't end the way you think it dinosaur.

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Why was the homeless man lying on the floor? Because he was dead

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How do you stop a bus ? Put 3 small children in front of it Whats sad about 3 children who died in a bus crash ? They were my kids. How do you know if you're blind ? You run in to a wall

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What happened to your face? I walked into a tree

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What do you call a puppy with one eye, one ear, and one leg? An ugly mother f*cker.

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What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

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how do you make coffee you put it in a mug

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Why did the man jump off the bridge. Because he found his beloved wife cheating on him with his life-long friend that he meet when they both where in pre-school.

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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? This would be unlikely to happen, as it would cut the story short.

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What is green and has 4 wheels?... Grass, I lied about the wheels

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How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but she had a very muscular vagina.

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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A hispanic priest with a huge boner walks into a bar.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got into the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Billy was taking a stroll in the forest, when suddenly he met a bear. Billy remember what his father had taught him, and quikly lied down on the ground, pretending to be dead. The bear started licking Billy's face. Still he remained calm. The bear bit off Billys finger. Still he did not move. When the bear ate Billy's foot, he nearly panicked. But thinking of his wife and children he mustered his last remaining strenght, and did not move a muscle. If he tried to run or fight the bear he would surely die and never see them again. Then the bear ate Billys head.

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? Because she was a mother catering her child's sporting event.

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Roses are black, Violets are too. I am colorblind, How about you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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