Why did the man not want to be a tree? Because he didn't want to.

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So I was sitting in the doctor's when I noticed a guy sitting about two seats down, wearing a sombrero and pouring salt over himself. Then I found out I had cancer and promptly lost all interest in him.

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Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

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Why didnt Jimmy go to school on Thursday? Jimmy is a vegetarian!

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What is yellow and has thick, shiny fur? A banana. I lied about the fur.

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My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

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a black guy and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? a taxi driver.

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people can be soooo loud!!!!!!! sooo loud that they wake up helen keller!!!!!!

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What do you call a blind fish? Amblyopsidae.

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A man was having problems with his computer, so he called customer service. An Indian man, by the name of Muhammad picked up the phone. This came of no surprise to the man, because Muhammad is the most common name in the world. The man soon found and fixed the problem on his computer and hung up.

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world peace

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What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

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Knock knock Whoes there? ...

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What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

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Ed Milliband looks like an amphibian.

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knock knock Come in!!!

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How do you make someone laugh at a funeral? Laughing gas How do you make someone cry at a birthday party? Tear gas How do you make someone high at a wedding? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - There are many ways to get high in a wedding. Gas is not the only option.

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Yo momma so stupid when I said drinks are on the house she went and got a ladder

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Teacher: Billy what do you want to be when you grow up? Billy: A fireman! Teacher: Tommy what do you want to be when you grow up? Tommy: 9/11

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What does the composer Berg lack? Schoen.

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Oh...okay, good.

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a hard working man goes home after a long day at work to find that his wife left him for his even harder working father.

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what did reed read? the most recent anti-joke

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.................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ME

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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