a duck was clearing out his apartment when he came across a rat. the rat turned into a genie. 'i will grant you 3 wishes' said the genie. 'whats the catch?' replied the duck 'can i touch your dinkle?'

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What do you call a black man with a hammer in his head? Dead.

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Why did Sally cry at the wedding? somebody shot her future husband.

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Have you heartd about the blond that confused winow putty for KY jelly? Her windows fell out.

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What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? When a child gets raped every night by its father.

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Q. What do you call a guy who only drinks lite beer. A. His name.

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What's worse then 2 dead monkeys? 3 dead monkeys!

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This is my fist. Would you politely run into it as fast as you can?

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Man U

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John lazzaro likes dick

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Why are you on this sight? You're procrastinating. I am too

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If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

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Two Black men, one wearing a blue shirt, and one wearing a red shirt, Jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? The one in the blue shirt

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You know what they say about men with large feet? Large shoes.

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What's more greasy than grease? Kevin's hair

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Knock Knock Who's there? F F who? F you.

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What do you get when you cross a horse and a donkey? a mule

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why was the kid crying? because he had to go to school GDS*

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a brick at him.

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What is 8===D- ? A jew with a lip piercing.

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Why did Coolio appear in the joke below? He did not, he was not for real at this particular situation... Well It was actually a typo because some douchebag told me Coolio sang that song and I forgot to change the name after finding the truth... Moral: YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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friend 1: Alright man, i got your back friend 2: AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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