Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

"Ask me if I'm a lamp." "Are you a lamp?" "No."

Why was the black man excited when he found a $20 bill on the ground? -Anyone would be excited

today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

hi

friends are like potatoes you eat them they die

If life hands you lemons you're probably a hippy because you know someone named 'life'

Farmers are outstanding in their fields

Knock Knock Who's there? It's me Ok, come in (the knockers voice was familiar enough that giving a name would have been out of place)

Guy 1: "Hey, you have some updawg on your face." Guy 2: "Oh, thanks. Did I get it?" Guy 1: "Yeah, I think so."

Why does god never feel anger? Because you need to exist to have feelings.

Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

What do you call a black lady with big boobs? Oh, wait, it's just a fat black guy.

What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Released some juice and burst its skin.

What did the black kid get for christmas?? Your tv

so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is an object and the black man is a human being.

How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

What is really hard around Kim Kardashian? Diamonds.

Q: Why does it take three Polacks to change a light bulb? A: Because they're so damn stupid.

You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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