Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

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An rich man walks into a ghetto and buys something for 1 million dollars. what store was he in? he wasn't in a store,he got robbed

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What do you call a black man backfilping off a roof The dark knight

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How many people live in China? At least ten.

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poetry show me your tits

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When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They beat her mercilessly.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

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did u ever hear a bird joke "no" hawkword

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Why do Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles always smile? Because they enjoy there life even though there both blind.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Ham and Cheese!

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What do you call a deaf person? You don't they can't hear you.

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Why did the dude fall? Because he tripped over a stick.

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The Olympics

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roses are red violets are blue i shouldnt be on this cause im in class

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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What do you call a Mexican who steals cars? John Doe, until he's been identified.

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 1: Who's there Person 1: me me you who you me you who me you no me (say super dooper quickly)

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What do you call Morgan Freeman at a family reunion? Morgan Freeman.

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What computer sings the best? A Dell? No a Mac, because they are the superior computer.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met you

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Q:What do you get when you mix a tiger and a panda? A:nothing, its impossible

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Why does a snake have eyes? To see!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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