Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What's red, fast, and flies through the air? A tomato in a plane.

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What time is it? 10:58

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I hate being bi-polar; it's awesome!

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What's the difference between a bird and a wheel? They both fly, I lied about the wheel.

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Whats the difference between anti-jokes and regular jokes? A Fridge full of dead babies being thrown at a black man with no arms or legs swinging from a tree.

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Why do jews love money so much? Because money is very valuable and everyone loves it.

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My uncle got hit by a truck, what was the last thing to go through his mind? The drive shaft.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side which would be a incontrovertible (obvious) decision.

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Q: What's that white, sticky stuff on your mom? A: Glue

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What did the Ethiopian get for Christmas? Nothing.

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What do you call 4 Mexicans getting into a car late at night? 3rd Shift carpooling

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1.Why were the black men asked to leave the bar? Because it was a womens bar. 2.Why did the 40 year old get an erection? Because he was excited.

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Why is it bad to smoke in a public place? Because secondhand smoke may cause lung cancer.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

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Why didn't the boy eat chocolate yesterday Because he was allergic.

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Jesus Christ dude. Wait, aren't you Jewish?

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What kind of pizza did the world trade center order? Two cheese pizzas.

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What happened when Chuck Norris tried to divide by zero? He found that he was not very good at math, and moved on to another joke concerning himself.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone? Because she had no arms. Knock, Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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What happened to the guy who took more lineage then he should have? He went to sleep.

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What happened to the blonde that died her hair brown? Her hair turned brown.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you look closely, it's not a chicken, it's a man wearing a costume. He's going to a halloween party with some friends. Sally was not invited.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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