How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

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Baseball

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What do you call a dog with 2 legs? Doesn't matter, it's not going to come anyways.

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WHY WAS 6 AFRAID OF 7? I REALLY DONT KNOW!

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? A basketball.

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Women.

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What does a vegetarian eat? colored penis

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer..... I'm going to rip the scalp off of your son and where it on my face to a Cherokee Sacrificial Ceremony The other lawyer was actually a lightbulb

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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Why couldn't the man see the camoflague iguana He could.

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What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

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What kind of "room" can you not enter? One with a locked door.

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What's worse than swing a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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A horse finds himself sleeping in the ocean. Immediately, he decides to be a dolphin.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

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What do you get when you cross a penis with a dinosaur? A dicklodocus.

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Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

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So I was eating pancakes in my driveway...or were they waffles?

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What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

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A duck walks ino a bar...... f*ck this sh*t im going to candy land.

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whats the difference between sand and period blood? You cannot gargle sand.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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