A man walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar, and he fractures his skull on it. He died in the hospital a few hours later

Why did the man fall off the cliff? I don't know, I have mental AIDS.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple?  Getting raped by a 10 foot scorpion.

whats bloody and mingen Scabbaz head

A black man, a small child, and a priest were all standing in line. They were all checking in the hospital after being in a 3 car pileup

Halts Maul Reid. Das ist, was ich rede.

Knock knock. Who's there? AV. AV who? Asshole vison. Now that's Amusement Vision. (Remembering Amusement Vision...)

Guy: guess what girl: what Guy: nevermind girl: no what Guy: i love you girl:.. i love myself too..

Why did the cat have hair? Because he did.

A: Knock, knock. A: Knock, knock! A: Um ... Knock, knock! B: Sorry, I didn't want to answer the door.

What's worse than 10 babies stapled to a tree? The Holocaust.

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

What's yellow, black, and makes you laugh? A bus full of black people going off a cliff.

Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

Knock Knock Who's there? I'm deaf. I'm deaf who? What?

Why didnt timmy go to the party Mom said no

Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

Why did the deer cross the road? The overpopulation of man has caused an expansion of construction into the habitat of the deer and it has required him to occasionally frequent human populated areas.

Why did Jimmy fall out of the tree. Cause' I shot him.

Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

What do fish and dogs have in common they are both animals

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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