What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did the grandmom make rollerblades into cookies? because she had dementia

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, Jim, your wife just died from terminal cancer." Jim then says, "Cool. Hey, do you know if the games on tonight?"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's worse than a truck full of dead babies? Trying to sell a used truck with dead baby stains all over it.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Tin is a chemical element with symbol Sn (for Latin: stannum) and atomic number 50. It is a main group metal in group 14 of the periodic table. Tin shows chemical similarity to both neighboring group-14 elements, germanium and lead, and has two possible oxidation states, +2 and the slightly more stable +4. Tin is the 49th most abundant element and has, with 10 stable isotopes, the largest number of stable isotopes in the periodic table. It is a silvery, malleable other metal that is not easily oxidized in air, obtained chiefly from the mineral cassiterite where it occurs as tin dioxide, SnO2.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the chicken cross the road to get to your house knock knock whos there the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

so a boy walks into a bar he was underage and escorted out.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between girl scouts and boy scouts? Girl scouts are usually females and boy scouts are usually males.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +38

If a dyslexic man walks into a bar, check your notes. You told the joke wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the doctor say to the minority, parapalegic after he barely escaped a fire alive? You just got burned!!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

this is stupid .... yep

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the sheriff cross the road? Cuz I told him to.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. -Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't the Ginger love the pretty girl? Her attitude and personality weren't very similar to his so he presumed the relationship wouldn't work out. Uh...........stingray.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what's hard and pink going in a soft and wet coming out Gum

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Little goldy locks was walking through a forest and stumbled across a nice cabin. She went inside and ate some newly made porridge and slept on the various beds that were there. The owners of the house came back from a stroll of their own and sued her for breaking and entering.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,033

Why did the police officer pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you make a Plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops