If i had 100 dollars for every time a black president was assainted i would have 100 dollars in 4 months and six days.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

An underaged man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, but the bartender says we don't serve minors. The boy then rushes out if the bar for fear of being caught.

thumb_up thumb_down +82

A French man gets into a fight

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call someone who states the obvious? Someone who states the obvious.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

thumb_up thumb_down +37

S + B + B = SB fuckin' B

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is the difference between a bear and berries? No idea? You better stay out of the forest...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red Violets are blue Btw I have aids And now you too

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A: why do elephants paint their toenails red? B: why? A: so they can hide in cherry trees B: I don't get it A: have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? B: no... A: exactly

thumb_up thumb_down

An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

We got him in about five minutes, the kid will already be exhausted by the point we get to him, r rather, he gets to us. Pretty quick for a small geek I got to say, the photography we got of him is an obvious Photoshop, but he seems similar enough I guess. I would call, but it seems someone has been messing with all other "Erron`s" homes and phones if I had not dropped mine, I would not have noticed we have been bugged for a while, pretty professional gear too,

thumb_up thumb_down -19

There were two friends, a girl and a boy. The girl had a ribbon tied to her neck, and every day the boy asked her why, yet she'd never tell him. They grew up together, and fell in love and still, she wouldn't tell him why she had the ribbon on her neck. They got married, and grew old, and still she wouldn't tell him. But one day, she said to him 'I'll show you why I keep this on my neck' and she took it off and her head fell off.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I am strangling you. Do you see my arms? I AM FREAKEN STRANGLING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Making fun of Charlie Sheen is like shooting up in a barrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse then two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar. [Insert punchline here.]

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down

Yo mama's so white that she has to use lots of sunscreen to prevent from getting sunburned.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's better than eating baby? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the chicken cross the road? why do you care?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A depressed horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "Millions of years of natural selection." The horse then tries to drink away his sorrows, but the alcohol is only a temporary release from the pain he's feeling. He kills himself the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q.If you are European in the bathroom, what are you in the kitchen? A. A woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the homosexual get for Christmas off his boyfriend? A lovely present off his loving partner.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops