How do u kill a horse? U stab it with a huge butcher knife

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So horse walk into a bar. The barkeep says "Look horse. You cant be in Here. You're too big and you're going to hurt someone....Its just not gonna work out."

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A pilot walks into a bar just before his last flight of the day. "Give me a stiff one to get through this last flight, I've had a long day," the pilot tells the bartender. The bartender promptly refuses the pilot service and kicks him out of the bar, since operating an aircraft under the influences of alcohol would at least constitute gross negligence and at worst, murder.

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what word starts with the letter N and ends with the letter R that you never wanna call a black person? Neighbor

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson play with Macaulay Culkin? Because he's dead.

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Why did the little kids call the boy "pornboy" Because he showed gay porn at the bus stop

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Roses are red Violets are blue classic

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What comes after 7? Pedophiles.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

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What has a fiery tail and is mentally handicapped? Charetard.

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Nobody cares maddie!

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Ya know why I hate bad puns? Because they aren't punny. In other words they have no real plot and don't make people laugh. They actually tend to get quite annoying.

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What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

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What did the pregnant teen get for Christmas? A miscarriage

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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Why do black people love kool aid? It is cools them down on a warm summer day and it tastes great! OHHHH YEAAAAHHHHH

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What do you get when you cross an orange with a gerbil? A mailbox that lights up when you open it

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What happens when batman jumps off the top of a building? His fake wings fails and he dies upon impact of the ground.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawer? we are both lawyers

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Love is in the air? Wrong. Nitrogen, Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide are in the air.

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what did the doctor say to the woman? I have 3 testicles

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Why did the blonde commit suicide? Because she hated her life.

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Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

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Why did the black man have a Lamborghini in his garage? Because he got good grades in school, was accepted into a nice college, and earned a medical degree, which he used to get himself a well-paying job in the medical field.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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