I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

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What did Mambo say to Jumbo? Nothing. Because they weren't friends.

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Why was the child in the clown's car? Because the clown was a serial killer and abducted the child while he was at soccer practice, the child then raped and murdered

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What do you call an apple, an orange, and a pear in a bowl? Fruit

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Your all fags

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Did you hear about the guy that lost the whole left side of his body? Well, he's all right.

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Whats Brown and fluffy ASIAN TITS

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What's big, red, has green and puple spots and responds to "here boy"? Nothing, not to my knowledge anyway!

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Whats worse than finding an actual joke on anti-jokes? A.I.D.S.

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Q:Where does a woman work at if she has 1 leg? A: IHOP!!! :)

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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What is the meaning of life? 42

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Why did the black boy fail out of high school? Because his grades were bad.

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No, you would have made me unhappy and yourself miserable, until you truly value who you are, as we that still look up to you to this day, you wont see the greatness within you.

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"You go, Glen Coco" -Mean Girls, 2004

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What couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

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i committed murder

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How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

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What did the Christian say to the Muslim. Nothing. He understood his right to have a opinion even if his religion is against it.

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A rapist and a little child walk through a dark forest. The little child says: "It's scary here." Rapist answers: "Tell me about, I gotta go back alone through here."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, that was a turkey. Oh.

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3 men walk into a bank. They rob the bank and kil 13 hostages.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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