What did the blonde do at the WTC on 9/11? Die.

Shelly tells Rob to go home... Thats what she said

Roses are reb, Violets are dlue, Forgive my spelling, I'm byslexic.

where is the world?

What did Mulan say to Pocohantas? Nothing as they are nothing but fictional creation of the childish (yet genius); minds of the Disney corporation. Although if they were capable of empathy (which isn't likely) then they would still, say nothing, as they are from two completely different movies.

Kim Kardashian's Marriage.

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear turns to the rabbit and says "I have colon cancer."

What do you call a man who leaves his wife and kids to be with another woman? A dick.

Those days where everything goes wrong, and you think to yourself "I just gotta do whats right here"... ...Sigh... 2. DO YOU KNOW WHY I HATE YOU SO MUCH? BECAUSE I HATE YOU! (Blame is on me, love and hate are not opposites, send me a copy of your book, and ill rip it out for you)

2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

Why was the black man sad? Because his wife and children had been killed in a freak car accident while he had been driving.

What do you call a black man in jail Your dad

Q: Whats funnier than Ryan Vallee? A: The death of your family -RDV

The following is neither a joke or anti-joke. It's a brainteaser. It's called the Monty Hall Problem. Suppose you're on a game show, and you're given the choice of three doors: Behind 1 door is a car; behind the other 2 doors are goats. You then choose a door. The host then opens another door and reveals a goat. He then says to you, "Do you want to stick with your choice or switch?" Is it to your advantage to switch your choice? The correct answer yes, switching gives you a better odds of winning. Why? There is a simple way to understand it without the mathematical demonstration. Suppose we have the three doors 1, 2 3 and the number 2 is the winner. If you choose not to change , of course the chances to win is 1/3. Now. what happens if you decide to change? The answer is that if you initially chose an incorrect door, you will always win. In the example, if you initially chose the door 1, the presenter will open door 3(because the door 2 is the winner so he can't open that door) So if you change you will win. The same happens if you initially chose door 3(the presenter will open door 1 and if you change you will win). You will only loose if you initially chose door 2(the presenter will open door 1 or 3, and when changing you will loose) So the conclusion is that if you always decide to change, if initially you have chosen ANY(and any in capital letters!) of the TWO incorrect doors you will win. So the chances when changing is 2/3.

Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

Your mamma's so fat she has diabetes and may die because she may not be able to loose enough weight to keep her blood sugar at a regulated number.

Once there was a dog, another one came to it and then there were two.

once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

your mom

A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

Roses are red Violets are blue I have AIDS and now you do too!

whats black and white and red all over? a zebra crossing after a horrible, horrible car accident

What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...