Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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What is both blue and yellow at the same time? Green.

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what do you call a newborn baby? anything you want.

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What happened when the 16 year old told her mother she was pregnant? Her mother was extremely disappointed that her daughter did not stay faithful to an abstinent life but eventually became proud of the fact that she would soon be a grandmother.

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What do you call an anti joke website? http://anti-joke.com

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what does the muslim guy say in a very busy metro station? jaallalalalalalalalla BAM

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Why did Lil' Susie leave her blue rain boots at home? Because she had stumps for legs. To attempt to wear them would only hurt her emotionally.

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Mikey : I wan to divorce. Miney :are u funking crazy Mikey : no I'm funking dazy !

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rocky is staring at us from outside...

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Why did the black man cross the road? He had a job interview precisely 10 minutes after this event occurred.

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I jacked off over a blind girl the other day, she never saw me coming

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? I lost my tractor!

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A girl asks her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Rose?" "Because when you were 1 day old a rose petal landed on your head." Another girl asked her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Daisy?" "Because when you were 1 day old a daisy landed on your head" "alualualualalughghphphpphphp" "Shut up fridge"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

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knock knock Who's there? because 7 ate 9

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A Chinese man walked into a bar. He now has a minor concussion.

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How often does a black women poop? Every nine months.

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Why did the friendly not play outside? Because they were dead. Just like your dreams.

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Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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Why was the little boy inside the house instead of playing with his friends outside? His dad just died from cancer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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What's 1+1? 4.

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Radical thinkers have decided to end abortion they will begin to kill everyone who has an abortion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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