How do you kill a blonde? Stab her...

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.... I hate your guts.

A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will you have for dinner? The duck says "quack".

Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

What did the tractor say when he lost his farmer? Where's my farmer??????

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock-eater.

Where would a 65 year old man find a young, attractive woman who would take any interest in him? Very likely in a hospital, but that would be a professional interest, not a sexual one.

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

Q: What's more gross than uncooked hamburgers? A: Afterbirth.

what is red, black, and blue all over? A horribly painted room.

knock knock. Who's there... Mormans

Lol, thats funny, sorry for asking, but is your eye doing better? Was their IQ test the same one you get when you enter their site?

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? Because she had no legs.

Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

What is less sanitary than eating food off of the ground? Anal sex.

What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

What did the man say to the atractive woman? Hi

whats something naked and nailed to a cross? jesus, idiot.

Her tits are so big that they would provide adequate nourishment for any future offspring.

yo mamas so fat that when she wears a bathing suit people go "wow, that women is fat"

--- ___________________--- Can you tell what it is? Yes... Then what is it? Its a blanket,duh! ......

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...