What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

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Roses are red, my name is Dave. This poem makes no sense, microwave

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Why is Michael J. Fox unable to build domino chains? He only has one domino.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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22

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Q what do you do when your friend tells you hes a homosexual A. you tell him that you will accept him and can still be very good friends

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what's better than winning a gold metal at the special olympics? not being retarded.

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Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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A brunette child with a blond mother is crying. Why? Because his father was just mauled by a Scandinavian dragon.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Bob

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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I always wanted to know what the future will hold in the decades to come... Until I realized the idiotness of my own thought for it is nigh impossible for us humans to see the future... Except... That the ancient Mayan civilization prophesized the end of the universe, which I did take into consideration as I slowly nibbled my way through the waffle cone till I had realized that I had reached the paper surrounding the cone and immediately spat it out for it leaves a fowl taste In my mouth, then continued eating my ice cream as I pondered the future and the anti-climatic ending of this anti-joke.

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what's the best way to eat a dead baby? stewed into chili with jalepeno cheddar corn bread on the side

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What is black, white, and red all over? something that just so happens to be seen by the color blind.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

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How do you make a plumber cry? You steal his princess

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Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

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How do you divide 3426 by 78.6? With a calculator

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TRUE COMEDY: "HOW ABOUT THAT AIRLINE FOOD!"

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Why do you not play poker with a cheetah. 1. Animals can't play card games. 2. Cheetahs are carnivores. Think about it.

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What are we ? Students ! What do we want ? Six months holiday ! When do we want it ? Twice a year !

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What's worse than finding half a suicide tablet in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my life didn't start, until I met you! :) Megan _____

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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