What do you call a barrel full of monkeys? A game, you idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats black, white, and red all over? Hot sauce on a checkerboard.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why aren't doughnuts square? because they are round

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the old woman fall down She got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q:what has 6 legs and rides a unicycle! A: nothing!!! Duh!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an octopus? Nothing, two different species cannot propagate and gene splicing isn't advanced enough to separate the specific traits of an organism.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,337

Waseem likes to talk with his mouth full.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What did one tree say to the other tree? Nothing, trees can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down

What sinks quickly to the bottom of a river? Your dead parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,406

I was diagnosed with Clinical Depression the other day.... It made me sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,501

What happens when you cross a Kangaroo with an Elephant? A genetically unstable animal that dies shortly after birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +322

Why did the black man buy 3 boxes of condoms? Because he practices safe sex and they were on sale.

thumb_up thumb_down +5,685

Three head lice are drinking beer on a scalp, then they are killed by a high strength medical shampoo.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,263

how do you make a plumber cry you kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +9,109

Why did the waiter put rubber bands in the soup? Because he wasn't a very good waiter.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,664

I used to have a shirt just like yours, except it was green. And it was a bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Your friend is so gay, he has consensual sex with other men. and enjoys it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6,009

There was 2 men walking down the street one fell on the floor from a heart attack and the other started to molest a lonely child. They then heard a bang and they found a dead baby lying in a bin. The moral of this story is to.... Knock Knock Whos there? The Police? The Police who? The police we are here to inform you your nan got hit by a truck and got decapitaited, Sorry but your nan is dead. way

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How did the mexican cross the border? He went through border patroll, and then later became a legal citizen of North America

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Roses are red, Violets are blue Oh, that's good to know.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops