Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds? They're of legal age to give consent.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the groom have cold feet? Because his socks were slightly damp resulting in evaporation and the cooling of his feet, as well as the cold weather in December.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why didn't the little asian kid go to his friends party? Because he wasnt invited.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than being a black Jew? Being a racists anti-Semite.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

why did the white man jump out of the car? because the car was crashing

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did michael J. Fox say when someone asked him to play catch? "sorry, I'm busy".

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red violets are blue I'm a bitch and so are u????????

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's worse than standing in line at Walmart? Being raped. What's worse than paying an outrageous amount for whatever it is you bought at Walmart? Being pregnant with a rape baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a black man walking down the street? Danger Approaching

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Ronald McDonald was chasing him.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

KNOCK! KNOCK! Who's there?! ... Ditched again!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the lover say to his lover? I love you

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why don't women need watches? Because most people carry cell phones that tells them the time making watches redundant and obsolete.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the muffin say to the other muffin? "Hello, nice to meet you."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

When the mom came home from work, she was very tired. Her son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She says sure and makes one for him. The boy was very happy and ate his sandwich. I was actually lying above. The mom was actually killed by three men in hoodies that were hiding in her backyard. The came inside and also murdered the boy. Worst of all the killers took all of the food and the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat, Guess it doesn't matter since he is gone...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbuluDBHpfQ

thumb_up thumb_down -1

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock. What's up? Oh, nothing much, you? Yeah, you know, same old, same old. Cool.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops