how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

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If your scared of paedophiles..... grow up

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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Knock knock Whose there? you you who you know who you are

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What did the heart surgeon say to the brain surgeon? We are both surgeons

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid the avoid the nuclear bomb at hiroshima

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A blonde and a brunette were hanging onto the edge of a cliff for dear life. The brunette somehow found the strength to climb back up. The blonde was impressed, but had muscular dystrophy so she slipped and fell to her death.

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What did one dolphin say to the other? Nothing. It was dead.

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A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

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How do you confuse a blond? Look at her

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When life gives you lemons, you should be wondering how "life" managed to give you those lemons.

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man said to the bartender "I'll have a H2O, please." His friend said "Yeah, I'll have a H2O too." The bartended wasn't an idiot and was aware that he was in a bar, not a science lab, and handed them both a bottle of H2O. His friend still died.

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How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

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Two black men walk into a Ku Klux Klan meeting. they are immediately lynched by the mob who hates them

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Two blondes get in a taxi. Who's driving? The taxi driver.

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Q: How do you scream at a purple? A: Black people

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can i have 10 pounds to go to the cinema?

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What's the difference between 9/11 and Jenga? The World Trade Center wasn't ruined by clumsiness.

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If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

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Wanna hear a dirty joke....? A pig rolling in mud!

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A guy, arriving at the pearly gates of Heaven, asks St. Peter "Why did I die? Why me." St. Peter replies: "You died the same way everyone does. Lack of oxygen to the brain."

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Steven Hawkin ran a marathon.

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roses are red violets are blue maskrosor are gula

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Why was the math book crying? Three men just brutally raped his wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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