Whats stupid and has words? THIS JOKE!

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tired of this joke.

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OOOOPPS /

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Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

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Q: Who followed E.T.A Hoffman? A: ASAP Rocky. (ETA and ASAP are both time-based abbreviations, ETA meaning 'estimated time of arrival' and ASAP meaning 'as soon as possible'. Thus, ASAP can form a response to a requested ETA. Additional humour comes from the dissonant occupations of the two individuals: E.T.A Hoffman being a nineteenth century gothic author, and ASAP Rocky being a modern rapper.)

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Why did the white man go to jail? He broke the law.

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Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

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What's worse than failing an exam? Failing two exams.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What does a Somalian want for Christmas? Nothing hes Sunni Muslim and does not celebrate Christmas

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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'A blonde', 'a brunette', and 'a redhead' are ways of referring to women who have hair of a certain color.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? I am.

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How do you get a dog to obey your rules?¿¿? Threaten to beat it with a rod!¡!

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In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

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2 black kids walk into school

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Three dogs start a club called the Holly Place Exclusive Dog Club. The Club Motto is, "You can't be in our club. Just us. Read the sign. It says "Exclusive". How is that confusing? Get away from here. Now."

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Joker: Knock knock Batman: Who's there Joker: Not your parents

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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How do you kill a ninja? Shoot him with a sniper rifle from a building. How do you make sure he's dead? Shoot him twice.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Sally...

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What do you have Canasta!!! Were not playing canasta you stupid asshole

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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