Why couldn't the blind man see his friend? He was behind him.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How did Nissan show its new car in there commircals By driving very fast and hitting fat kids $

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea, and neither does the chicken, for chickens do not possess the ability to reason.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There was a man and a woman. In a lodge all alone ready to create a child. instead of having sex he violently punched her in the face and stabbed her in her armpits until her loud screams for help had stopped.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what happens when Pinocchio says "My nose is growing"?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Have you ever had Kenyan food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did the clam say to the scuba diver? FUCK MAN! STOP TOUCHING MY JEWELS! WOULD YOU WANT ME TO JUST RIP YOURS AND TAKE THEM WITH ME!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says "Well, it's a long story but I tell you. You see, one day I was walking along the beach and I found a dusty old lamp. I rubbed the lamp and a big magic genie appeared. He told me I could have 3 wishes." The horse continues: "So I told the genie I wish I had a 10 billion dollars. I checked my bank account and sure enough it came true. My second wish was I wished for a beautiful wife. Suddenly a light came from the sky like an angel falling and I saw a beautiful woman and fell in love with her." The bartender says to the horse "Let me guess, so for your third wish, did you wish you were a horse with a long face?" The horse says "No that's not what I wished for." The bartender asks "What was your third wish?" The horse says "Well you won't believe me but I wished I was a bartender pretending to talk to a horse about some genie granting him wishes." After about 30 minutes of arguing with himself, other employees at the bar had had enough of the bartender talking to himself and called psychiatric personnel to escort the bartender to the mental hospital as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A muslim and a jew meet each other in a dark ally...... they give each other strange looks because they are both in a dark ally.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

WILLY

thumb_up thumb_down -25

If an orange is orange then why isn't a banana called a yellow? Because the word 'banana' comes from the Arabic word for finger as it obviously resembles a finger. The person that named the orange was equally lazy, but just not Arabic.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Person 1: What's 2+2? Person 2: 4 Person 1: Oh, you already heard that one.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you confuse Hellen Keller? Put her in a circular room and tell her to find the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

BOB:john John:what? BOB:4:59 seconds to get rid of it

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the golfer do when he hit a shot with a lot of pressure on him into the water? He dropped another ball and continued on, for golf is a civilized game and bad manners are prohibited.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what do yo call two dog? dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what happened after 9/11?? 9/12.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

thumb_up thumb_down -13

woman's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops