Get a life besides thumbing down statements telling you advice.........

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Error 37.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a baby impaled on a stick? Lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a fish that isn't moving? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the opposite of fly? To not fly

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was the Pædophile arrested? He hit his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the women cross the road? she didnt, theres no road in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats the definition of not winning? Charlie sheen losing custody of his son because he is a coked out, old man douche bag, who only gets told what he wants to hear because he forks out lots of money to gold digging hookers.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man is in prison and one day his cellmate offers to help him escape. The cellmate tells the man to quickly hide under the covers on his bed and that he'll instruct him further once the security guard passes. The man is then raped. Savagely.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passenger seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Making fun of Charlie Sheen is like shooting up in a barrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What happened to the boy who tried to cross the road? He got hit by a semi-truck and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the monkey eat his own poop? Because there was minimal resources where he was so he resorted to eat his own fecal matter

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree and lands on you, you'd die? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

"Roses are Red" "Violets are Blue" That's what they say, But it isn't true. Violets are violet, Now stop sniffing glue!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q.Why was 6 crying? A.Because 7,8,9

thumb_up thumb_down +16

are you saying pam, or pan?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops