What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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Knock Knock Who's There Seventeen Thirty Eight I'm like hey what's up hello Seen yo pretty ass soon as you came in that door I just wanna chill, got a sack for us to roll Married to the money, introduced her to my stove Showed her how to whip it, now she remixin' for low She my trap queen, let her hit the bando We be countin' up, watch how far them bands go We just set a goal, talkin' matchin' Lambos Got 56 a gram, prob' a 100 grams though Man, I swear I love her how she work the damn pole Hit the strip club, we be letting bands go Everybody hating, we just call them fans though In love with the money, I ain't never letting go And I get high with my baby (baby) I just left the mall, I'm getting fly with my baby, yeah

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Why is Osama bimladin dead? Because he was a threat to American for many years, and someone finally found him and killed him.

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Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

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What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

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Ruller

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What happened to the baby bird? It fell out the nest

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Gays always seem happy wonder why Straights complain to much

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What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding? Nothing

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Why did the insect play marco polo? It couldn't. Marco polo requires multiple players.

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noodles

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really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

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what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

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If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

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John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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Roses are red Violets are blue Billy is dead and Atom bombs blow up chines $

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A black man and a white man and a chinese man are sitting together: Cultural Diversity.

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Why did the pedophil go to church? To rape small children.

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Which ballet do pigs like best? Pigs don't understand ballet, but they probably like the ones with audience participation, as they are friendly animals and enjoy interacting with humans.

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Q: What's the difference between black and white? A: A lot...

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Bean.

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::ring::ring::ring:: Hello? Is your refrigerator running? Yes, yes it does! Why? I work for a local home appliance superstore and we are having a special on repairs and maintenance. Would you like to try our home appliance maintenance offer? I'm sorry no! I do not actually have a refrigerator. I only have a cooler. Bye! ::the man shuts off his cell phone and sets it on top of his styro-foam cooler as he mumbles to himself alone while on his boat, "Darn advertisement offers!" and continues to fish in the middle of the lake::

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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