Whet doesn't kill you, probably will next time.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had just received a call from his family, hearing that his father had just been butchered. He was approaching the farm when an 18-wheeler approached. The tire flew off, hit a candy store, candy flew in the chicken's mouth, and it died of diabetes. However, right before the chicken died he finally crossed the road, not knowing he would get shot by his farmer. The chicken managed to survive the shooting to his right kidney, wiggled to his family, and died in front of his wife.

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WHO IS A CHIKEN???????????? I AM do you got a problem with that!!!!!!

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What do a bunch of dead babies look like in a blender? I don't know I was too busy masturbating.

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A man walks into a store and says "Roses are red, Violets are blue, there is a bomb strapped to my chest, give me all the money"

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What's the biggest Jewish holiday? The Holocaust.

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Your hat is not on you head. Where is it On you head

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Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

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Farts smell bad!

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What would Bruno Mars do if he was on the moon? Gasp and grab his throat in an attempt to get oxygen flowing into his lungs with no avail.

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is Patrick

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? In this situation, the minority.

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what did the asian father say to his son after getting a c+ on a test? son you are working hard and i know you will do well

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You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

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What's green and has wheels? A snow flake. I lied about the wheels, and the color.

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Why don't men ask for directions? They want to appear knowledgeable and strong. Asking for directions is sometimes considered a sign of weakness.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *smiles* Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust ascending from hell.

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my wife out of the kitchen

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What is purple, covered in pus, and squeals? A purple hippo with an infected scab yelling at the pain

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What did the atheist say as Jesus walked past? nothing, he ran to the nearest bar and called the insane asylum.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie Thum thump Who's there Bethany Hamilton

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops