When I find out where you live I'm going to burn down your house, kill your family, and while your crying in you demise I am going to slit your throat.

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Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because there was a gunman on the same side of the path and it would most likely be safer to avoid making eye contact

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An Irishman walked out of a bar. A Frenchman was polite. An Englishman had beautiful teeth.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? An Xbox 360.

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A kid with no arms or legs is stuck in the desert. Sucks to be him.

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(speaking to an orphan) knock, knock who's there not your parents

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What was the pirates favorite letter? Q.

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See what I did here? ;) Ladies, I just need some space okay? Damn Space Invaders... Ijustmetthespaceinvaderstheytookmyspace << DOUBLE MEANING!

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat it for being black.

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Why did the man have a hard time trying to open the door? The door was locked

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Why did a blond killed herself? She couldnt find a corner in a round room.

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What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

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roses are red vilest are blue shes mine and if you take my place my fist will go in your face

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a man walks into a bar, and says "can i get a beer please?" the bartender hands him his beer, and as soon as the man starts to take a drink, the man dies of a massive heart attack because of his unhealthy lifestyle

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why does andy speak when not spoken too because he wants a smack

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i dont fisish anythi

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men's rights activists

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How its supposed to go: Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mopwho? How my friend Cassidy did it: Knock knock Who's there? I eat my poo! Oh wait I screwed up.

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Knock knock! *no answer* KNOCK KNOCK! *still no answer* the person who was knocking finds a note sticked on the door and it says: i will be away for 2 weeks

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How do you take a shit?, by taking it to go.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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