Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows. Chickens aren't capable of knowing why they do things.

thumb_up thumb_down +108

What did the boy say 9+9 was? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the dancing amphibious landing craft say to the carrot faced caterpillar? wanna get in its cold

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than no christmas? Taking a chainsaw to the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

knock knock who's there? faith

thumb_up thumb_down +7

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Roses are cars, violets are rude, this poem makes no sense, neither do you

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the boy hate his bicycle and soccer ball he got for Christmas? The boy didn't have legs. He also hated sports. By the way he was black but that doesn't matter, he still hated sports. Who in the right mind would give a cripple inappropriate toys? Probably a racist Santa Claus. Oh by the way, Santa Claus is not real. So did they return the presents after the boy found out what it was? Yes, and it turns out the boy got a guitar and piano instead. Too bad the boy is also deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A guy starts writing a gag for a joke site. But then he couldn't think of a punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's big, white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Justin Beiber

thumb_up thumb_down +5

24

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A girl walks into a supermarket. She picks up a banana, a can of soup, and a loaf of bread. She then walks up to the cash register to pay. The cashier looks at her and the items she has and says, "I can tell you're single." She smiles and responds, "How do you know that?" He says, "Because you're ugly."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Wanna hear a joke? Ruddell had sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the sun say to the moon ?? Nothing - they can't speak

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why are humans and squirrels the same? They both live in trees except for the human

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A Homosexual, a Jew and a Black walk into a bar. They do not speak make eye contact or acknowledge each other in any way.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21

thumb_up thumb_down -12

corey is a nipplepotomus

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a black man from Germany? A Germ.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the blondes left leg say to her right leg? Nothing they haven't met yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What has four legs, and smells when it's wet? A wet dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops