what's worse than a worm in your apple? The Haulocaust. Whats worse than the Haulocaust? Two worms in your apple.

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What's long, hard, and filled with semen? A submarine

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Yo' Mommas so poor, She has to ask close family friends and relatives for money so she can feed you.

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What did the man say to the other man? I would have no clue because I am deaf

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what did one mental hospital worker say to the other? Billy your not a mental hospital worker, give heather back her clothes so I can escort you back to your cell.

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What did the abortion say to the womb? I'm outta here.

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what is the difference between a car salesman and a lawyer? a car salesman sells cars to people while a lawyer is an expert in law.

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why was the woman making a sandwich in the kitchen? because at the age of 3 she faced the hard reality of being nothing more in life then serving her husband to the day she die

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Whats brown and smells bad poo

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Why does the Easter Bunny deliver chocolate eggs? Because

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when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

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what did the philosopher say, when he considered the transient nature of life in relation to ones own personal and egocentric grasp upon circumstance and purpose? massive erection.

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A blonde girl walks into a car.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, get out of the garden it's time for lunch.

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Whats the difference between a Philadelphia Flyers fan and a pedophile? What they are.

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Canida

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Your momma so fat that she went to the doctor and he told he to cut down on the junk food because she weighs more than the average human being

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Women.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree It was staples to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Peer pressure

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why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

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Q: How many jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 6 million and 1

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Knock knock! Who's there? an atheist. an atheist who oh sorry, I forgot atheists don't knock on people's doors

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Why are some people so emotional? Because some their family were hit by a train and then died the next day of lung cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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