Knock knock. Whose there? No one, I'm trying to tell a knock knock joke.

What's cooler than ice ? Liquid oxygen.

What do you call a man with a fork stuck in his head? A man with a fork stuck in his head

There's was an old lady. She fell in a puddle

A black guy and a mexican are in the backseat of a car, who's driving Their designated driver who they carefully selected as someone they thought had enough self-control to not drink and could get both of them home safely

A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

What's green and has wheels? Grass...I was just lying about the wheels.

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

what do you call a man with three eyes and eleven fingers? his name

a duck walked up to a lemon aid stand and he said to the man running the stand... quack

yo mama soooooooooooo fat that she should be concerned of the incressed risk of dibties

I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I'm allergic to peanuts. DAMIT

What does a black man do when he breaks into a car? He steals the radio

a guy walks into a bar and finds an empty chair near the jukebox. He orders a drink and some peanuts and has a really good time listening to the music and drinking his beer.

Why are these jokes so funny? Because they're NOT!

Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to see his mother before she passed away of terminal cancer

Knock, knock. Who's there? Suzie. How is that even possible?

Why did the white girl fuck the mexican? Because her teacher told her to do an "essay"

Knock knock Who's there It's a policeman informing you that your parents have been killed in a car crash. Your Dad, who has been struggling with substance abuse and depression, found out his wife had been cheating on him, and in a drunken rage, wrapped the car around a tree.

What did the blonde do when she missed bus 40? She waited 30 minutes for it to come back around again.

What's worse than stubbing your toe? - AIDS. What's worse than AIDS? - Getting AIDS and stubbing your toe.

I like my women like I like my coffee, without a dick

Two Gay Men Walk Into a Bar, Not Just Any Bar...... a Sports Bar and Enjoy a nice cold Beer with their Heterosexual friends while watching the super bowl. They both go in the back room, where it is dark, together........ and they call for the manager to find out where the chef is so they can tie him down..... and smother him....... in questions concerning the size of his....... buffalo wings stop judging people you ass.

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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