Why was Andy's resume declined? Because he was molested as a child.

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What's black and white and has difficulty turning corners? A nun with a javelin stuck through the neck.

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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What do you call a mexican man working at a Taco Bell? A young man freshly out of high-school, who could not get into college because his family is sadly struck with poverty. He also has a baby on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection when having relations with his girlfriend while he was intoxicated. I wish him the best of luck!

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Warning: Are you 16 and curious and stuff? DO NOT SNIFF YOUR SISTERS HEAVILY PERFUMED PANTIES! Because you know hormones, and then 18 years later she uses the same perfume and... Yeeah.. ITS HORMONES! DON'T PRETEND YOU NEVER SMELLED A PUSS... Well, nevermind guys, I believe you :)) PS: By DO NOT, I mean DO! I mean just make sure you dont get your mothers panties, your sister is gonna be like "Omg you are such a perv you and your dick always up my face!" Then you can go all like "yeeeaah you wish!" Moms panties? Seriously man, that is just sick! You need to get some self respect!

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What's worse than having two girlfriends at once. Seven. Seven girlfriends. All across America.

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The diamond one below is hilarious.

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How does a man with no legs cross a road? In his wheelchair.

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What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

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What is brown and sounds like a pickle? Poop

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Knock knock who's there Betty Betty who?` ` my grandmother who passed away 2 years ago dont talk about her that was

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My daughter got a kinder surprise with cool toy today..... i killed her i didnt even want the toy

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A black man and a white man and a chinese man are sitting together: Cultural Diversity.

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Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A nun in a blender.

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Do you know what the cop said to the black guy? Your free to go

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Still Carrying Heavy Pet Food? That sucks

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What's worse than the Holocaust? 2 Holocausts

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Q:What kind of pizza did the World Trade Center order? A:Two Plains

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Q: What did the blonde woman say? A: My hair is blonde

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A chemist and his buddy walk into a bar. The chemist, trying to sound smart, says, "I would like a glass of H20." The buddy, being a normal person who actually cares if he looks like an idiot, asks for plain water.

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What did the man do when he dropped his bar of soap. He picked it up

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when the elephants were coming? Here come the elephants! What did Jane say when the elephants were coming? Here come the plums! (She was color blind.)

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WNBA

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have ADHD, Oh look a butterfly...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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