Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the same wolf that had devoured the chickens' chicks singlehandedly was chasing it.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you make a person cross the road? Ask them nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? -Allergies.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I went up to my friend and she said to me, "Foop." I calmly went to the nearest teacher and told her that Susie is having a mental breakdown again

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How did the rabbi die? It didnt it lived through the shooting

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? You die.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What happened to the boy who survived a tragic car accident?? He stepped out of the car and got hit by a semi.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats green and has wings ? a flying patch of astro turf

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Two boys go down stairs on christmas day. They fall and die.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what happens when a white guy goes to harlem he gets robbed by 5 to 10 black men

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why were people laughing when Muhammad Ali signed autographs for his fans? He was making jokes regarding his Parkinson's syndrome in order to elevate an otherwise melancholy experience for the audience.

thumb_up thumb_down

Caroline Kelly.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why dont blind people go skydiving? Because they dont live when they hit the ground

thumb_up thumb_down

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone What doesn't kill you is a bad attempt on your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the black man buy watermellon? Because he was having a barbecue in his suburban neighborhood and he wanted some fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Yo momma is so fat, that after boarding an airplane the flight crew respectfully asked her to deboard, as with her on board the plane would be exceeding the reccomended weight, and thus be unable to fly safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I lost The Game, You just did too.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

If Jimmy in New York has 2 apples, and Tommy in Denver has 4 apples, what is the mass of the sun? 1.989E30 kg.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

So this guy was making a sandwich...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you kill a Jew? The same way you kill any person. It could be gunshot, strangulation, hanging, poison etc. They are the same as every other human being, so you would kill them just like any other human being.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops