Why can't helen keller drive a car? Because she is a woman

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What's wrong with you? I have no idea.

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"Doctor," I said while poking my head, "My head hurts!" I poked my knee. "My knee hurts, too!" Then I tried touching my arm. "OW! So does my arm!" I even tried poking my teeth. "OUCH! Even my teeth hurt! What will I do Doctor?" "That's easy," said the Doctor, "I'll fix your finger right away."

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Horton Hears... Rape and violence and doesn't do anything about it.

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Why was the man alone? Because he was tied to a tree.

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What's your favorite Sylvia Plath quote? "Turn on the oven."

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Why did the car fall of the cliff? The dude driving the car was driving recklessly.

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Q: Why do circles make such good friends? A: They don't. They're shapes and there cannot have friends

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A wise man once said, "I am wise".

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was deaf and blind.

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How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

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What did the Triceratops get for his birthday? Nothing. Dinosaurs are extinct.

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What do you get when you read a book? More knowledge in your brain.

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your moms so fat that she had to buy bigger cloths, her husband left her, she became a druggie and died alone.

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what do you call a black woman pregnant with twins? A woman who has a loving husband who she wanted to have children with so when they had sex, 2 of his sperm fertilized the egg so now she gets to raise two children which she is looking forward to, but she also knows it will be alot of work.

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A man looks in his toilet and gazes in fear of the fact that there is blood on his bowel movement. He has colitis

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Did you hear the one about the Mexican that went to college? All his life, Juan wanted to get a decent education, but was unable to due to his family's low income. So Juan worked hard all his life, and got a part-time job. He made a little cash here, a little there. He also studied vigorously, getting a 33 on his ACT. All that work eventually paid off, and Juan was eventually accepted at Princeton University. Juan is now a highly paid Neurological surgeon, and has saved countless lives

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When life gives you lemons you are like "how did I get these lemons?"

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What's the difference between Christians and Jews? The Holocaust. The Holocaust is the difference.

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Your mom is so fat, I do not see how she can possibly wipe effectively.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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The awkward moment when you don't know whether to like or dislike this because you think I want like so you are gonna dislike but what If I want dislikes, but what if I want likes, you are confused Antijokeception....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops