How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. and Asians are yellow.

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whats the difference between 10 Ferrari's and 10 dead babies ? i dont have 10 Ferrari's in my garage

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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Why couldn't the duck fly? It died.

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I may have alzheimer's but at least I don't have alzheimer's.

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What happens when you have fish and a rhino mate? Nothing, that is physically impossible, a rhino is a lot bigger than a fish and it would not be possible for a rhino to do that with a fish considering a rhino can't breathe under water and a fish can't breath with out air.

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Why was the orange so serious? He was trying to concentrate.

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why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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What's the difference between Sony and Kony? Sony is a company which produces electrical appliances and Kony is a Ugandan Warlord.

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An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman went in a hot air balloon and had a magical afternoon that none of them will ever forget, except the Scotsman because he fell out during take off and is now in a coma.

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Why are friends like trees? If you hack at them repeatedly with an axe, they fall over.

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what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

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How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

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What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

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What time is it when a cow walks into your house? The time that your mother arives.

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A dying homeless man walks into a Hospital. He is asked to leave because he doesn't have health insurance. He dies in a gutter next to where he shits.

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How do you stop an alcoholic from drinking ? You leave him in the desert for 4 days, eventually he'll die from dehydration .

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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What do you call a horse that likes to box? A horse

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An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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A magician tells the boy to get into the box and locks him in. He wasn't a magician.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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