Why wouldn't someone want to work in the mining industry? Their dad died in the mines.

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Knock Knock who's there? Steve Steve who? Steve. I already told you my name.

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10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

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A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it. "I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

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You are such a loner nothing even clings to you, not even plastic wrap!!

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What's faster than a Nascar Racecar? My thoughts. -Juanita

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Q: When birds fly in a "V", why is one side always longer? A: There is one extra bird on that side

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs? An amputee

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Roses are red vielots are blue but they aren't as sweet as you.Can you be my Valentine ny choclate cupcake will you me my choclate

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What do a blonde and a good beer have in common? They both go down easy.

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Communism hehe xd

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Why did the pineapple cry? It didn't, because it's a pineapple.

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roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

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1 what do gay horses eat? 2 hayyyy 1 no horse dick

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Decode this; Hetay owcay aidsay oomay. Answer: ummmmm.... Let me think....ummm, does anybody speak pig latin?

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

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what did the cab driver say to the black man when he got into his cab? Where to, sir?

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How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

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Poverty.

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- I was at my house last night - I was at your MOM'S house last night... I'm her neighbor, she was having trouble with her plumbing and I thought i should help out

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. ----- Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What happens if an unmovable object gets hit by an unstoppable force? To get to the other side.

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How many jewish people can you fit in a Volkswagen? depending on the class of car but a mid range SUV can seat up to seven.

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what did God say on the 7th day? -zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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