There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What did the black man say to the man from Kyrgyzstan? I've never heard of your country before.

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"An alcohol walks into a man. He is a family and is destroying the bar." Says the drunk man to the bartender who wrote it on Anti-joke.com.

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WHAT DO U CALL GINGERS GABRIELLA

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bangers and mash?

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an irishman walks past a bar a.w. j.p.

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Dear John,

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't give in to peer pressure.

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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A young farmers cow died in an oil burning, The farmer then said to his son; you get the milk ill get the shovel

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What do you call a man with no arms? A: A Man with no arms.

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why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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knock knock , who there ray, ray who , ray winstone , I am your daddy you'll get your perks.

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It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

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Q: what is blue and has no legs A: A crippled boy painted blue

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What did the monkey say after its tail was run over by a lawnmower? It won't be long now.

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Unflushed Shit...

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A man walked into a bar. He has been in a coma for six weeks now.

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What happened when john pelted susie with a rock? she had a temporary concusion, needed eight stitches and John was grounded

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? Seven brutally abused and raped 6 as a child.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

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When one person has an imaginary friend, you call it being crazy. But when more than one person has the same imaginary friend, you call it religion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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