What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

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What did the cast of sex and the city get for Christmas Nothing Sarah Jessica Parker is Jewish

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What did the mute boy get for his birthday? i dont know he didnt tell me

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Dave and Tim walk into a bar. The bartender says to Dave: "What'll it be?" Dave is black.

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how do you stop a speeding vehicle? throw a refrigerator at it.

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Why can't Kim and Arnold get childern ? because they are 2 stones.

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Who is Soulja Boy's best friend? YOUUUUUUUUUUUU

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What happened when an FBI agent and a cop argued over control of a hostage situation? Several people including a respected community leader were killed.

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Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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I have no joke. u mad?

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

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Electronic Arts is a respectable company.

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Why is the boy sad? He was getting bullied so he later on talked to a teacher and the bully and him settled their differences. The bullied boy still wishes the bully to go to hell.

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what do you call a person who rides a bike a lot? BATMAN!!! -s.s

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your boobss.

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Women's Rights.

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What do you get when you cross a bus full of cancer patients and a train full of children? A very sad train accident.

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Yo Mumma so dumb she has to climb over a glass wall to see whats on the other side.... Yo Mumma's so fat when she walked past the tv she made me miss 5 series... Yo Mumma's so fat when god said let there be light she had to move out of the road. That's nearly all that I have, but if u have one leave it in the comment

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What did Frieza say to Vegeta after killing his parents? "I killed your parents."

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Q-- Why did the boy stop playing football? A -- He had to go for his tea

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Why couldn't the 14 year old find a date? Because he had a speech impediment and girls avoided him usually.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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