- Hey, guess how many people are dead in that cemetery? - I don't know. How many? - All of them.

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what do you call a black man drinking cool-aid? thirsty.

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your mom is so fat that she should probably try a deit in the neer future.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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What does D.N.A. stand for? Deoxyribonucleic Acid

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happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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If I was a backstabber, you would have been dead already, without me having anything to do with it in the first place, listen, we cannot change the world, those that control the media, control the world. And our role was the opposite, we wanted people to find their individual selves and put their talents for use for themselves and us, today the media tells people who they are, what they like, and what to eat and wear. None of us can do this, point zero is gone, its simply a matter of time, but if you want to try, I can do what I can, in hopes of delaying the inevitable.

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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Listen pretty lady, NO WHAT WE HAVE BEEN DOING FOR LIKE SIXTEEN HOURS OR SOMETHING NON STOP STRAIGHT, IS VERBOTEN! Honestly, for me its a bit of a requirement, sure girls can go all like "But you are like friendzoned to me now", but then I... Hmm, you know, not a womanizer,my wife has the right word for it, I am a seducer.... Suddenly I do not like the sound of that, actually Its not a bit of a requirement, it is TOTALLY a requirement. Say, does it bother you when I mention my wife like at randomness?

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Why did the blond crave hotdogs for breakfast? She was likely suffering a sodium deficiency from violently throwing up the night before.

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

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How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

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How to open an orange? You don't you peal it

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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http://www.google.com/imgres?q=harry+styles+funny&hl=en&safe=active&biw=1024&bih=398&gbv=2&tbm=isch&tbnid=lc8_fNCatYHOqM:&imgrefurl=http://www.vervegirl.com/harry-being-typical-harry/&docid=86Gw8eNJ73tOYM&imgurl=http://www.vervegirl.com/cms/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/harry-styles-300.jpg&w=300&h=400&ei=q4vHT9XwHYL48gSJoJzJDw&zoom=1

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What do you call a guy with alot of money? A rich guy.

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Knock knock! Who's there? an atheist. an atheist who oh sorry, I forgot atheists don't knock on people's doors

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Which way do 5 gay guys walk? Depends on where they're planning to go.

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Albert and Hunter, Forever in love < 3

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Vagina jokes aren't funny, period.

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Person 1: have you ever seen Helen Kellers house? Person 2: No i havent Person 1: Neither did she

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Why did Cam newton win the heisman? Wait Cam Newton won the heisman?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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