Roses are red Violets are blue I have genital warts Now you do too

thumb_up thumb_down +6

knock knock who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did you visit antijoke.com? Because you don't find real jokes funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q. Why does Samuel Jackson always play a black guy? A. Because he's black.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Pete and Repete are sitting on a fence. Pete falls off. Pete suffers from a scraped knee and a bruised tailbone.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause it wanted to

thumb_up thumb_down -41

A russian gives away vodka.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's the difference between a bird and a wheel? They both fly, I lied about the wheel.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Good guess!

thumb_up thumb_down -118

What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

thumb_up thumb_down

-You know what will always get people fighting? -Hey, you wanna fight?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the Nazi Death Camp Guard say to the escaping prisoner? - Nothing. He shot him in his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: why couldn't anyone hear hellen keller when she fell off a cliff? A: she was mute.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What happened when a saxophone hit Sally? She had a concussion.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

how many jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? none their all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

You know what sucks? A vacuum.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

69

thumb_up thumb_down -13

So a woman walks into a store... There's a lamp selling for $5.99. She buys it because she thinks that's a pretty good deal.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q:What did the homeless guy say to the business man on the cell phone A: Nothing because he doesn't want to disturb his phone call

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +20,154

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being molested by a giant octopus.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops