What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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Q: What's grey and looks good on policemen? A: A stylish grey hat.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato!!

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NEVER

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"Up to 50% off."

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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What did the daddy hamster say to the baby hamster? Nothing. Male hamsters eat their young.

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Is there any non dirty numbers these days, 69, just kidding

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Q; Why did the gas station attendant scream when 3 black men walked into his store? A: It was his surprise birthday party.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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poo

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Did you hear about the man who lost his whole left side of his body? He has been taken to hospital and is in a critical state where his right side of his body can not be joined together. This is life threatning and he is now not able to walk

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That was me, I thought we where friends now... I am so sorry, I really did not send anyone nor anything, I would never do such a thing! What happened to you is terrible, I did say I knew who they where and that they are in prison, but that was a lie, I just wanted for you to think I was really confident and in control. Please Nero, let me speak to you, nothing is like you think, Jenny is my stepmother, please don't do anything.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. Seeing a black pilot is not alarming. If their middle-eastern, however, you have more of a problem.

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Why was Timmy strong? Because his dad injected steroids through his asshole.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? Interrupting Cow who, unlike his quiet friends back on the farm, enjoys to speak when others are nearly finished with their sentence.

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Why was King Triton mad at Ariel? Her grades were under the C.

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Why couldn't the Asian reach the sink? Because he was a 4 year old boy, and was only about 3 feet tall.

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a 10 year old walks into a bar and orders a beer, he is then escorted out because you are not aloud to be under 21 one years old to be in a bar.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Penis... Okay...

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What did the man do to the begging orphan on a cold Christmas morning? He kicked him.

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What do you find in a pile of dead babies? ************************************************ A dead baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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