if a fat man in a red suit puts you in a bag at night. its not santa your getting raped

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Not the World Trade Center.

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What do you call a goose with no arms? A goose

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- What's better than just sitting on a couch in a summerhouse with a bottle of wine and reading a good book? - An orgy.

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How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he saw his ex-girlfriend walking down the street so he was trying to kill her by hitting her in the head with the clock.

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What do you call a dead, black child? Dead.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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When Glenn looks in the mirror all he sees is Nicole Sipes.

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What does little Tommy and a tomato have in common? They are both vegetables. Oh wait, a tomato is a fruit.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

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Where did the duck hide its pail? UNDER THE STAIRS!!

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Your momma's of a reasonable figure and weight.

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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What did one deaf mute say to the other deaf mute?

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a chicken and a rooster walk into a bar. and then walk out because a bar is no place for a chicken and a rooster.

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Lil' Johnny was happily swinging on the swings when all of a sudden...... ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> FLYING DAGGERS!!!

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Why did my phone crack? I dropped it.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue when I saw you what the heel are you

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so david walks into a convenience store and wanted to buy a pack of gum. so he asks the cashier how much is the gum and the cashier said that it is 99 cents and then david said oh no! i thought it was 98 cents.

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hey timmy, wanna go to Disneyworld?! tough. *10 seconds later* still no timmy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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