Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Saying "MY MOM" everyone time ur asked a question

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What's green, yellow, and red? A traffic light

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Why did ned fall out of the tree? Because he was hit by a koala.

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What's worse than Hitler killing six million Jews? All of the Jews. --ZeNaziGermanDoctior

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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What did one chick in a clothes shop say to another? That's cheap

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Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies nothing child abuse is not a funny matter.

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Forgiveness is what weaklings beg for, while redemption is what the strong succeed at.

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What's black and white and red all over? A plague victim.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a clown, and clowns are scary.

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Why did Chuck Norris start crying? Because he was in a coma

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

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What is the key to a good anti-joke? A disappointing or intellectual punch-line said in a calm and passive tone.

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A mama cow was sitting in the barn with her 3 babies. The first baby cow goes "Mom, why did you name me Daisy?" "Because a Daisy landed on your head when you were born" The second calf goes "Mom, why did you name me Rose?" "Because a Rose petal landed on your head when you where born." The third calf says "Aasdfghoiuytfghjkuiy" The mom replies "Shut up brick"

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Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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Poverty.

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Nero, thank you for this opportunity, I desire to join the shadows, I left a thumbs up. Michelle

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lets go to the beach beach lets go get away story of josh browns life

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Hearpin my durp

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Q: What's grey and can't climb trees A: A car park

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bunge cord? My ass!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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