What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

A man walked into a bar because he worked there.

your mother is so lesbian

Why was the multi-millionaire entreprenuer sad? He went bankrupt.

3 guys walk into a bar to tell an anti joke. The bartender asks them to leave.

Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

What happened after the man walked off the cliff? Nothing. It was a foot tall.

How do you stop a baby crying? You don't. Just walk away.

How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

you know what's worse than being grounded? AIDS

Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because it escaped from the farm.

How do you get rid of an STD? You give it to someone else.

How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

Why did the black man crash his car? His low-income job forced him to buy a toyota.

There is a wire, Let's put it on fire, The fire spread so did your legs, Now were both lying dead on your bed.

What do you call it when you lend money to a bison? Unitelligent, because bison do not have the ability to purchase things with money so it will most likely just eat the money.

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

What happened to the seal that walked into the zoo? Well nothing because seals can't walk.

Q: What did my uncle Tom say when he first encountered my friend Richard Jefferson? A: Hello

How do you make a Chef cry? You kill his family.

What did the penguin do in the desert? He died .

Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

What's black and blue and made of poo? A drowning black guy, holding some blue poop

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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