An Englishman, Irishman, and Jew walk into a bar. Steven Spielberg is a Jew.

What do you call a muslim who is not a terrorist ? A muslim

Why did bethany fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Bethany

Water? I hardly know her.

Just got back from the corner store. Bought 3 corners.

Your mom is so dumb that she doesn't get this joke

What did the white guy say to the black guy? I used to be black also. My name is Michael.

Knock knock Who's there? It's me, Dave. You still wanna go to the movies? Oh, yeah...let me grab my wallet.

A 55-year-old white man's car is broken, so he decides to take a bus to work that morning. His bus arrives and he gets on. Then he notices the driver's a woman. He pays for his ticket, takes a seat by the window and in about an hour he gets to his office.

Why couldn't the plane fly? The pilot was a muffin.

Why were the police chasing the black man? Because he was in such a poor financial state that the bank foreclosed his house and now he has no source of income and therefore no way to purchase basic living requirements, so he was forced to steal in order to provide food for his family.

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Why did a black man bring a baseball bat to a white man's apartment? Because he was stopping by his friends house before heading to a rousing game of baseball.

What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

Why did the retarded man jump off a building to commit suicide? He didn't try to commit suicide. He was mentally retarted and didn't know any better.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other one's a watermelon.

What's red and has zippers? Nothing, because watermelons can't physically drive without the help of a sheeps spinal cords ... DUH

What do you call a dolphin on a unicycle? You need medical help

Why can't a dinosaur clap its hands? Dinosaurs are extinct.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf or bread. why did the plane fall apart in mid air? The engineer was a loaf of bread Why didn't the plane take off? because it was delayed.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is an animal without a high enough level of intelligence to see the dangers in doing so.

what is brown and shaped like a tree?

Why Did The Monkey Fall Out Of The Tree? Because It Was Dead

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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