- Anti Joke

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

What is useless and over-payed? Our government.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Q: What's a Mexican's favorite sport? A: Cross Country

why didnt the chicken cross the road? It was getting tired of the jokes

There was 3 Men. Who had crashed their car on there way back from the Bar, All 3 of them died. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told him " The better in life you were with relationships,and staying true with one love- The better Transportation you get." Guy one got a Scooter. Guy two got a bike. And Guy 3 got a Mustang. One day, Guy 1 and 2 were on their bike and scooter. And they see Guy 3 upset. "Whats wrong? You got the best transporation in heaven!!" Guy 3 looks up at guy 1 and 2, Then says " I know I do..... But, I just seen my wife on a Skateboard."

TWO ROADS DIVERGED IN A WOOD

So there's this one Cheerio who really likes this frosted Cheerio. He walks up to her one day and asks her out. She responded, "no I only date frosted Cheerios." The Cheerio then went and got a tutor, he became very, very smart and turned into a multi-grain Cheerio. He goes up to the frosted Cheerio and asks her out. "no, you're still not a frosted Cheerio." he gets a gym membership and works really, really hard and becomes and apple cinnamon Cheerio. He asks her out again, "no you're still not a frosted Cheerio." so he goes to church too and becomes a honey nut Cheerio. "no you're still not a frosted Cheerio." he focuses and tries even harder than ever before and finally becomes a frosted Cheerio. He asks her out, "will you be my girlfriend? I heard about this party this weekend we can go to." she answers, "I'll be your girlfriend, let's go to that party." So, they go to this party. The boy asks. "do you want anything to drink?" the girl says "sure maybe some wine." the boy en goes to the wine store. There's a super long line and he waits and waits but goes back to the party. He tells her and asks her if she wants anything else. "some soda maybe." he goes to the soda shop and there's another long line and he waits until he can't take it and goes back again. He tells h and asks her if she wants anything else. "some punch please." He goes to the punch store, and there's no punch line.

Girl:Do you wanna hear a joke? Boy:Sure... Girl: jesus loves you

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

how doyou wake up lady gaga youu poke er face

Q: Why did the kid cross the playground? A: To get to the other slide

Why did the Israeli military stop the helicopter raids to Gaza? They didn't. They continue them until there is nobody left.

I walked a few Km from home.. Something stops me in my tracks, there lies A LIE!

Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with men other than her husband.

if life gives you lemons, you have some lemons

A disabled man runs into a bar. He notices he's not disabled and realizes his mother lied to him his whole life.

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being cut in half by a human while you were trying to eat an apple

How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

why did Bernard have a bold because I ripped his Mohawk

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Im a dog. RUUUFFF!

You know it's sunny outside when you go outside and its sunny

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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