How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Simple poke her face.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

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Your mom is so fat, her pants are starting to get tight.

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http://anti-joke.com/

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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Lacrosse

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How did the polack burn his hands on the stove? He placed his hands on the hot stove top burners not realizing they were hot.

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What's black and white and red all over? A butler with a stab wound.

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What happens when you poke a ghost that is on the edge of a building?? Ghost aren't real, so therefor you will fall of the building and die????

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Why was Mrs. Clause mad at Santa Clause? Because he was hanging out with three hoes, Ho, Ho, and Ho

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Whos worse than Akise Teague. Mike Vick

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Do you wanna build a snowman ? No.

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Q: If it takes a chicken a day and a half to lay an egg and a half, then how long would it take a monkey to kick the seeds off of a dill pickle. A: I don't know. That's a stupid question.

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im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because shes autistic and her mother likes to abuse her.

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

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whats green andthrows forks at you? a blonde painted green in a bush wih a gun and a fly on her eye

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Why did the cat eat the cupcake? Cause he was hungry.

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Whats black, and chrispy inside...? A black guy with bonecancer

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What is the name of the mermaid on the Starbucks logo? No one knows, she ran away many years ago of shame. It's undiscovered why.

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Listen pretty lady, NO WHAT WE HAVE BEEN DOING FOR LIKE SIXTEEN HOURS OR SOMETHING NON STOP STRAIGHT, IS VERBOTEN! Honestly, for me its a bit of a requirement, sure girls can go all like "But you are like friendzoned to me now", but then I... Hmm, you know, not a womanizer,my wife has the right word for it, I am a seducer.... Suddenly I do not like the sound of that, actually Its not a bit of a requirement, it is TOTALLY a requirement. Say, does it bother you when I mention my wife like at randomness?

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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