Why are Asians so smart? Because they study

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A haiku for you Would not provide enough space To say all the nice

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They see me rollin' They hatin' Patrolin they try to catch write a joke Try to catch me write a joke Try to catch me write a joke (tootle loo, I see you ;)

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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4

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A redhead walks into a bar. The bartender asks him if he wants a drink. He says yes.

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A jewish man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder, the bartender asks "where'd you get that" the man replied "at a pet shop"

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Knock knock "Who's there?" "Bark bark" "Bark Bark who?" "Bark bark bark bark bark bark."

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other is a baby.

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What is red and can fly? An elephant. I lied about being red. And I also lied about the flying part.

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike.

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A: Knock, knock. B: Who's there? The writer of this joke had no idea how to end this.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a dead baby joke? Dead baby jokes aren't funny.

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So a man walks into a bar and wonders why he walked into the building instead of simply just walking through the door. The man then realized that the building was if fact not a local bar, but instead a bowling alley. He was hallucinogenic and was in serious danger as he approached the candy man in the alley.

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Why don't you run over a black guy on a bike? Because It's probably your bike..

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Have you noticed when you see geese flying and they're in a V pattern, often one side will be longer than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side.

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Once upon a time, there was a ghost. The ghost was sneaking up on a little girl when she turned around and asked the ghost "Are you a stalker or something?" The ghost, unable to reply (being a ghost) was then kicked in the shins. The End!

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Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

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What did the Asian dad say to his son when he got an A- in math? Good job son.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

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why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

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Committing Suicide #YOLO

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A man walks into a bar. He has a drink. Then goes back home.

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Grandma got ran over by a reindeer. She died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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