Three men walk into a bar. Start drinking, fight each other and sustain massive head injuries.

How do you kill a black man? You drop a fridge on him.

Q:your jetski loses a wheel. how many pancakes does it take to fix your house? A:blue berry icecream.

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 had 3 testicles

Puns are terrible. I love them.

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman were stuck on a desert island, because they were touring investment property islands off the coast of Dubai and their boat had engine trouble. They were eventually picked up in a helicopter.

What's brown and sticky? Poo.

what smelss like crap.... CRAP dose DUH

What happens when you breed a Siberian Tiger with a California Condor? Nothing. The tiger does eat the condor though and you are found out by a neighbor and charged with animal neglect, animal cruelty, and possession of two endangered species. You are fined $100,000 and go to jail for 5 years during which you are sodomized.

Did you hear about the guy with five penises? Me neither, because that sounds like a very improbable aberration.

Why didn't the politically-correct lawyer laugh at his black neighbour's jokes? He had an incapacitating malady of oralfacialoaralysis rendering him unable to laugh or smile

How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

what do you call obama a dumbass

Q:What's the greatest part about having sex with twenty five year old girls? A: There's 20 of them

I have had depression for several years and have recently been diagnosed with diabetes. I therefore drink diet soda and have sugar free snacks. Which leads to diahrea. Lots of diahrea.

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To hold their pants up.

Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion...

What's brown and smells like shit? Brown colour. I'm synesthetic.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he saw a Vladimir Putin.

i said why are you disliking me he said its anti joke

Take one: "What kind of assho... Take two "What kind of awesome people with no dignit..." Take three: "What kind of awesome people with most dignified self image would use this piece of shit s... Final take What kind of awesome people with most dinified self image would use this RETARDED PIECE OF MOLTEN SHlT SITE FROM FUCKING HELL?" Moral: "Technically I do not use it, I abuse it just like I did your mom... Hey, I am your dad by the way, that gives me the right to rape you whenever I want" NeroMetal I once fisted a velociraptor to death (I do not mean punching it in the face here if you think thats something), but that's not metal... I cant for the fuck bother to find out how to spell the fucking dinosaurs name... Now that is metal...

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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