What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Instead of throwing out his garbage, a young boy decided to play a prank on some passersby and left a banana peel on the sidewalk. moments later an elderly woman walked past and slipped on the banana, falling backwards and smashing her head. The young man watched from the bushes as paramedics shook their heads and placed a now lifeless body in a body bag and took it away. The young boy, startled and shocked at what he just saw, tried to run away, but slipped on his own banana peel, falling backwards onto the pavement. The young boy was lucky and survived, but later had to go to therapy for many years to come, the thought of his prank gone wrong torturing him until he took his own life. What is the moral of the story? Do not litter, ALWAYS throw out your garbage.

thumb_up thumb_down

what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down

Did you go swimming in the Carribean Ocean? Yes, a shark ate my body, and killed me! Thank God I'm still alive!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A giraffe walks into a bar.... just kidding, a giraffe wouldnt fit in a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Johnny: One day dad i will be tall like you! (Later that day johnny was found dead in a garbage bag)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Rick Perry.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yeah, but why is this honesty so important for you, personal reasons because you are like that, because you consider me a friend? Or because a single lie, could have catastrophical consequences?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock Business Man: Who's There? Al Qeada Business Man: Al Qeada who? Al Qeada is flying an airplane into your building Then a commercial airplane flew into the oddly placed door on the 95th floor of the North Tower. That's how 9/11 happened. Have a nice day.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you get if you cross a black man with a knife? Stabbed.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a puppy with all it's legs missing? Franklin, the quadraplegic puppy.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

If Michael Jackson was alive we would who cares he is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's really ugly and smells like a hampster? My hampster.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walked into a bar. He said "ow". Tragic.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

i need a pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

thumb_up thumb_down -10

LUKE, I am your father... this is your mother, your parents dont love you so we've adopted you

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a black kid with no parents? A black orphan.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Nope, but yeah Felix looks a lot like Mickey Mouse, I think, nah it was Oswald the Lucky rabbit I believe, and he used to get his ass kicked by... Damn, what`s the name of the fat cat that beat up Mickey in steamboat willie?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

KCLTLMBAIMWSSHTCAWGAHW

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops