A squirrel is about to steal the eggs of a sparrow when the sparrow suddenly says, "Stop! I will do anything if you would spare my eggs!" The squirrel has no capacity to reason and so steals the eggs anyway. The sparrow is devastated.

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You know what they called Obama in highschool? Nigge*

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there is 500 dicks on the wall how many will choke on? None?? so ur a professional!!!! lol

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What do you call a building full of Mexicans? JAIL.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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A plane crashed. The pilot was some sort of food, like a loaf of bread or a salad. Neither of which can fly a plane or do much of anything-- like get a plane to move in the first place, let alone take off.

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Why did the Asian man open up a Sushi restaurant? Because he had a fetish for cumming in sushi and giving it to strangers.

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a duck wanted grapes. he didnt get any

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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sticks and stones may break my bones but hemophilia will make me bleed to death

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Doctor, people dont notice me anymore, doctor?... HEEEEEEEEEEEY!

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Whats funnier than 24.....25

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What is funnier than an uncontrolled explosions? Most things, because explosions damage property, and cause deaths.

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a man walks into the bar and say, OUCH!!

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what is red and looks like blue paint? red paint.

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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Why is the fat kid on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? It's dependent on many factors, like the size of the babies and the tub. It would be a horrific endeavor, and you should probably stop thinking about such things.

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a fish? A dead fish.

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A: Knock Knock B: The door is open please come in.

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Hitler walks in to pizza pizza, the manager asks how many? L

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Whats a buch of blacks running down a hill called? The Detroit, MI marathon in seeing that 84.3% of Detroit's population is of Arican descent.

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how do you wake lady gaga up? you hit her in the face with a frying pan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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