Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

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What is the black stuff between elephants toes? Slow natives

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Two gay guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would notice...

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What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

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Why does Renee suck at tetris Because she has cancer.

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What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

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What looks like poo but is rainbow colored? Rainbow colored poo.

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt Getting stabbed.

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varför skriver jag på svenska jag vet inte

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Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

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Doctor Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains! Really? Well that's the least of your problems. Your test came up HIV positive.

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why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried. The chicken was run over by a distracted driver. The chicken turned out to be Farmer Brendan's prized egg hen who wandered away. The hen provided a large portion of Brendan's income and living. The farmer, deprived of his vital income source, was forced to sell his farm and live on the city streets.

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How do you get two whales in a car? You can't. Whales are very large creatures and cannot fit into anything that size.

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i feel like when the radish was discovered someone was like "hey lets call it rad!" and another guy was like "lets dial it down a bit"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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a guy had 6 fingers& every1 called him john.y????? bcaz his name was john

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Did you here about the Asian couple who had a stupid baby? They named him Sum Ting Wong

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A guy walks into a bar with a watermelon under his shirt. The bartender asks what is under his shirt. He says, a watermelon.

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A man is about to rape a girl. Before penetration he carefully and correctly applies a condom as he practices safe sex and is not yet ready to father a child.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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So a Nazi walks into a bar full of jews, he ordered a drink and mumbled slures to himself.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Sir, your wife has been killed. Please open the door so that we may discuss this matter. The man then opens the door and listens to the tale of how a disgruntled worker opened fire in a grocery store, killing 13 people including his wife. Unable to cope with this and the fact both his parents passed away earlier that year he later hangs himself soon after the police leave.

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There were two friends, a girl and a boy. The girl had a ribbon tied to her neck, and every day the boy asked her why, yet she'd never tell him. They grew up together, and fell in love and still, she wouldn't tell him why she had the ribbon on her neck. They got married, and grew old, and still she wouldn't tell him. But one day, she said to him 'I'll show you why I keep this on my neck' and she took it off and her head fell off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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