When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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A man walks into a bar he's drunk and can't feel it But he's ok

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What did the boy get at the bowling alley for his birthday? a corpse. *from Bones

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Oh

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what is the difference between having sex and having sex on my period ..... i have something to drink when i have sex on my period

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what ya call e dong withb eyes peeneyes

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding worms in your stool.

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Yo momma so stupid when I said drinks are on the house she went and got a ladder

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This blind man read my mind the other day. I swear, it's like he has a 5th sense!

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Trampoline.

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What's worrying about a middle-eastern man on a plane? The fact you are worrying about it.

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You better run like your ass is under fire, because it will be if you don't.

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Why did the koala fall of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other koala fall off the tree? It was stapled to the first koala.

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Why was the gay kid made fun of........... because he was homosexual who was struggling in life

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What looks like midnight and is addicted to shemale porn? Xavier Jordan! Courtesy of Mrs. Maxwells 7th period

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A white person went to see Think like a Lady by Steve Harvey.

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Why can't helen keller drive? She never got her permit

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because not only was she deaf and dumb, but she was also blind and it's not possible to drive if you are blind.

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A gay man,a black woman,a seven year old child,a liberal,an atheist and an asian walk into a building. A hijacked plane flies into the tower they were in and kills them all on a cold September morning.

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A black man walks into a house and is shot because it is not his house and it is 2 in the morning.

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>>---------------------------------[ knee ]------------------------->>>

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Roses are Red, Vilots are blue Im going to kill myself Bye

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If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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