Whats worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

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Who're you gonna' call when you're apartments being ravaged by ghosts? Your doctor, for you might have schizophrenia.

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Why was the iPhone screen cracked? Because it was dropped on a rock.

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What would happen if Obama got reelected? The economy would turn to shit.

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

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what do you say to a girl dog crying??? shut up bitch...

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if my evil next door neighbor is building a rocket to steal the moon with the help of 3 little girls, a grumpy old man and about 5000 small yellow poeple; what do i do? get sued for coping a copyrighted movie plot

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Why is it called a tea kettle Because it is a kettle and you make tea in it

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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Why did the man die? He was old.

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Breaydn Simmons walked into a bar

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Want to hear a joke? Jerry Sandusky's innocence

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david your girlfriend has a nice ass

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What's old and has wet pants? My grandma with a bladder problem

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Why did the zuccini fly? I was in an acid trip.

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knock knock whos there? your mother your mother who? ...........what?

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it lands on its back.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves the bar slightly intoxicated.

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Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house Knock knock Who's there? The chicken

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What did Darth Vader say when he spilled his drink? Darth Vader is a fictional character and is not a part of humanity.

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My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops