Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A pony goes to the doctor saying his throat hurts, the doctor sais "oh I know, your a little hoarse". The pony replies, no I'm not ass-hole I have strep throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the dead guy say to the other guy? "You murdered me." How did he hear the dead guy? He was dead too.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is white and smells like wood? White painted wood

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock, Knock! Who`s there? Your mama`s stupid! Your mama`s stupid who? Your mama`s stupid as a rock! I` m going to cut your eyes out and use them as baseballs!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Wwhat's black on top and white on the bottom? Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Will my son live, doctor? No because you don't have a son and I am not a doctor

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the college kids drink at the party? Soda. Alcohol is illegal for people under the age of 21 to consume.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's the difference between an elephant and a moscito? There are several differencies. Firstly, the elephant is a mammal and the moscito is an insect.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

who is gay for wild ones- Ryan Mcgggguigan

thumb_up thumb_down +2

American healthcare.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How did the blond know that you like her? You said,"Baby, I like you"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats worse than a bunch of teen-agers throwing kitrens at my house I didn't save them because I thought they were jehovahs witness's

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why was the Saudi Arabian terrorist flying a plane in America? He was going to visit some family on a ranch in Kansas.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Everyone is special in there own ways except for patrick whos demented

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: What's the best way to get a woman to stalk talking? A: Ask them nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

roses are red violets are blue i've got a boner and it raging for you

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Suzie fall off the Swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I felt like kicking something.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the black man walk into a bar? To order a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Because he always increases the treble input in his songs, and he doesnt have a rod.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I tried to call my friend in Haiti. It went straight to vibrate.....

thumb_up thumb_down +8

IM SEXY AND I KNOW IT Chrysanthemums are pretty but toads and people are damn to horny

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops