Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

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What did the rat say to the dog? Nothing, he is a rat and therefore incapable of speech.

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What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Having lost his job, wife, and general sanity, he resorted to suicide by car accident.

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Why don't you play uno with Mexicans? Because they collect all the green cards.

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what do u call a 7th grade ninga joe waldeaker the sarah freek

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Why did little Lynn fall of her bike? Because she has no legs.

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what did the apple say to the orange ? nothing, apples are a fruit and do not have any organs which allow it to be able to talk.

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A man walks into a bar. The force of the impact causes serious head trauma and kills him within a matter of minutes.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Get in the van.

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What's pink and fluffy? A feather duster.

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what's worse than the holocaust living jews

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What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

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My mom always said it was fun to jump into a pile of leaves... That was before she was devoured by a 10 ft. scorpion.

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What do you call a blonde doctor? Doctor

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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Yo mama is so stupid that she is currently taking courses in a community college to get her degree in business so she can have a well-paying job.

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Why is this an anti-joke? Are you laughing? Exactly.

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Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS JOKE??? A: Another joke you didn't think was funny... REFRIGERATOR!! O.k. Now it's funny!

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What's red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple? The Color Wheel.

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What's the difference between black and white people? One is black.

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What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

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How do you kill a blonde? There are a variety of methods, but I prefer a fine mix of insecure clowns and pepto-bismol.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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