Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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Just got cancer: YOLO!! -sad face-

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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How did mary and molly have sex it is impossible for two women to perform sex

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what did the man do when he was at the end of his rope? he bought more rope.

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A boss walks into a bar and hires the first man he sees. He fires everyone else, no matter what their occupation.

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Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

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What's worse than the common cold? The Plague.

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Why is it funny when dogs talk ? Answer: they don't

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Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

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Why can't Anne Frank write a sequel? Because she's dead.

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What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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Why do jews love money so much? Because money is very valuable and everyone loves it.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? At the bottom.

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What happens when a fat guy falls ? Ohio has another earthquake.

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A man got struck by a car and was rushed to hospital on life support, he died shortly after. His wife was informed of his death by the doctors and shortly after she killed her children and finally hung herself.

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So a Hispanic, African-American, Jewish, and Asian man were walking down the street. They were involved in a parade that celebrated racial equality.

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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If you watch a pregnancy backwards, it is about a baby that is inserted between the legs of a woman and is slowly broken down for energy and the remains are finally sucked up by a man's genitals. There isn't a joke.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

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roses are red violets are blue i have a penis get in the bed

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Fruitcake

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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