How many Ringmasters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They tell the clowns to do it

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If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

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Why do Jews hate hitler? They are jealous of him.

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How did the man rape the woman? With his penis.

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josh roberts you speccy cuunt

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What did one fat chick say to the other fat chick? Who cares, they're fat.

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My arms get tired from carrying my big diick everywhere, well at least it's better than dragging it

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What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

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What's wet and pink and fun to watch in someone's face? A big bubble gum bubble exploding into someone's face.

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What do you put on top of salad? Salad Dressing.

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Tip for Employers: Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the resumes into the bin.

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What do you call a black astronaut? It depends on what his name is.

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What is red, and bucket shaped? A red bucket.

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What did one cat say to the other cat? Meow. What did one dog say to the other dog? Meow. Why was the man sad? He had a retarded dog.

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How do you kill a blonde? lightsabre to the throat should do it

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I have two friends, Jeffrey and Barbara. You might think that Jeffrey likes sports and beer, and that Barbara likes knitting and cooking. But you'd be wrong, Barbara is dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car and die.

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what does 2+2equals? i think its 3 but i could be wrong

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Artichoke is a vegetable state induced by swallowing paint

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Where did Lucy go after being hit by a train? Well, the results of this question are somewhat difficult to pinpoint, but here is a generalized ratio model. 47% of Lucy went underneath the trains wheels and was left behind, crushed into the railway sleepers. 33% was thrown aside and discarded around the SIDES of the track. 19% was carried on the front of the train, into the next station where it fell off as soon as the train stopped. 1% was found in Mount Everest.

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Nero Octavios reporting, so far all of our sectors worldwide excluding Spain, Italy and Ground Zero are secure, Nero Augustus is severely wounded but will make it, and despite the our intel Necrissa Angelo is alive and well. We have one single worry though Nero7 the brunt force of the terror attack was large and powerful, yet resistance was incredibly light when we went for the counter-strike, too light, we might have to ready ourselves for some sort of reprisal here.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

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Knock Knock Come in

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So this guy walks into a bar. As soon as he gets in, a drunk dude punches him in the face ! The dude was drunk enough to not know what he was doing, but still sober enough to hit the guy hard ! So the guy had a cerebral commotion and died 2 days later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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