- Anti Joke

roses are red violets are blue wanna hear a joke? WNBA....

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

[Insert hurtful, yet spontaneous comment here.]

Why did it take so long to find Osama Bin Laden? No idea. Bad military tactics. Was he found?

If Sally has 4 apples and Dan has 3 apples, how many apples do they have together? Red, because ducks have 2 legs.

What's worse than walking into a lampost? Your seven year old child accidentally finding and watching a sex tape that you made years ago.

Why are a black man's eyes always bloodshot red after having sex? Pepper spray.

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Im blind

Q: What do you call a real joke on anti joke A: Someone obviously don't understand the concept of this website

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck its dick.

Why can't Johnny run? He has no legs.

What did the guy who walked into a bar say? Ouch

What's worse than dropping your icecream? Slavery

how did the family die? They were shot in the head.

A duck walks into a bar and is immediately shot to prevent the spread of bird flu.

I had a quad when I was in high school, she was pretty but it was hard to get her out of the wheelchair.

TURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPS

There was this guy who walked in the bar with one shoe. The bartender asks what happened. The man said the shoe didn't fit. So the bartender ask where is the other shoe. The man said he threw it away. The bartender looks in the trashcan and sure enough he sees his other shoe. The bartender says "This is the same size as your other shoe. Why are you wearing one shoe?" The man says "I'm just playing a prank on you. There's a hidden camera over there and over there. Is it okay if I can put you on YouTube?" and the bartender says "No."

A black guy stands outside the Tigers stadium with a cigar and tries to sell tickets... noone buys them... I have a comlplete raging boner and I'm gonna go beat off!

What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

You wanna see my secret freckle? NO! How about my butt? What!!!!!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops