Do you know what I'd want to be if I wasn't white? Dead.

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What couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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What's the difference between Lady Gaga and the Bogeyman? Nothing.

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Q: What did ine sweaty arab man say to the other sweaty arab man? A: "I'm sweaty"

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Wanna hear a joke? Women Voteing. -Austin Conradt

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How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

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Q: How can you tell when your selling a Blondel a microwave A: she will keep asking how many chandler the Tv gets

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't. Despite losing her arms in a terrible accident as a child, Suzy persevered to become a renowned gymnast. After several turns as a champion Special Olympian, Suzy retired from sports in order to tour elementary schools as a guest speaker. She inspired thousands of disabled children across North America and was a highly-respected orator. Suzy sadly passed away in 2009 at the age of 62. She is survived by her two lovely daughters, Karen and Michelle.

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Why did Dom move to Wales? Because he is poor!

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Why did the man's motorcycle not move when the street light turned green? Because it was a filing cabinet.

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Whats orange and sounds like a parrot? a carrot

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How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

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You shouldn't have expectations. They make ex out of pect and tations.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

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what's funny about cancer. nothing it is a serious life threating disease with no cure.

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What did the man with tourettes yell on an airplane? He yelled bomb, and was gunned down by 2 federal marshals, one of which's stray bullets happened to hit a small child with autism.

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Two pandas walked into a bar. The bar was in china.

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How do u get a clown off of a swing? You hit him with an axe.

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What's more likely to happen in 2011 than the rapture? Finding my real parents.

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Q. Why was the blonde fired from the M+M factory? A.She was addicted to meth.

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roses are red but violets are definately violet what retard made this rhyme

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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