What do you call a man who just came home from a 72-hour work shift ? You don't call him, you let him sleep.

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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Why did the football player walk so funny? He went to Penn State!

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what starts with f and ends with c k....???? FIRETRUCK

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a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

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Man 1: Nock-nock Man 2: Please leave my place of residence

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one day a guy walks into a bar. he buy's a drink then walks hapily home by Mad James

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If Barbie is so popular...why do you have to buy her friends?

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So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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What did the horse say to the farmer who tried to feed him hay soup? I don't like that.

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What do you do to get someone to shut up? You hit with a brick

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in a lake? Bob.

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Knock knock who's there Betty Betty who?` ` my grandmother who passed away 2 years ago dont talk about her that was

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They promptly order their drinks and then leave.

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Why did Charlotte fall off the swing? She got hit in the face with an axe.

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the WNBA

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what do you call an arse bandit? lady gaga's tanning salon attendants 3rd cousins dog chauffeur, roberto

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family

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Knock Knock Who's There? Mom Mom who? Open the door idiot

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What's black and white and red all over? A referee eating a red Popsicle on a hot summers day.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "what can I get you?" The man replies "what do you recommend?" The bartender says "get a beer." The man says "okay."

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into your grandmother and finding a fish

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A Black guy and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. What does the black guy say to the Jew? "Hi".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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