David walks into a bar. Someone shoots him. Now hes dead.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey. Why did the other bird fall out of the tree? It was shot. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Your son Your son who? Your son who’s sick of having a paranoid mother who won’t just open the door!

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A dog run after a squirrel. the pursuit didn't last long the squirrel climb a tree.

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what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

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Two Jews are sitting in a large oven. They realize it is a dangerous place to be and get out of the oven.

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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

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Knock Knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave's crying because his grandmother has alltimers and now can't remember his name

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anti-joke.ru - russian style

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Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

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Yo mamma's so fat, at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that if she did not attempt to control her weight gain through a careful moderation of her diet and began exercising on a regular basis, that her obesity would soon manifest itself in a variety of chronic health conditions that would permanently alter her ability to enjoy life and could significantly decrease her lifespan.

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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So a bar walks into a man...

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What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

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You are in a room with no doors and no windows. All you have a chainsaw and a mirror. How do you get out? You don't and will slowly die a painful death of asphyxiation.

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Why do people on this website suck? Because they are n i g g e r s and jews!

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Why did the chIcken cross the road? To escape the holocaust.

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Did the Jewish surgeon charge extra for circumcisions? Nope, he just kept the tips

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What's faster a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk.

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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? She got kicked in the face by a mule.

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Lets go Detroit Pistons!

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A father was driving with his son. The Son asked " have you been in a car accident in the past 10 years"? The father replys " did you know you HAD 4 siblings"?

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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