An asian man walks into a bar He buys a drink.

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How do you kill a retard? Pour gasoline on him and light him on fire.

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Jenny tried out for the school play. She got a callback the next day. Her father had died.

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What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to give it a female name.

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(you will only get this if you play minecraft) whats green and looks like a penis? a creeper!

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what did the blind man get for christmas? Cancer.....

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a bag of dead babies? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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what taste like an apple, looks like an apple, but isnt an apple? an apple.

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If Billy has 4 apples in his left hand and 6 apples in his right hand, what does he have? Very large hands.

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What do you call a black garbage man? A garbage man

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows, he was a chicken, and was not capable of human speech, so he never told anyone.

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How is Stevie Wonder like Ray Charles? They are both talented musicians

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What has wheels and flies? An Airplane

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Why did the Korean shoot the dog? Unfortunately, the dog was suffering from a severe mental trauma it had sustained when it by got hit by a car. This caused the dog to be extremely aggressive and it ruthlessly attacked a 5-year old girl playing in the street. The Korean who was coming home from a day out hunting in the woods saw the girl and shot the dog from long range to save the girl's life. The man was later thanked by the girl's family.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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What's the difference between a bicycle? An orange because it has no sleeves.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends. How hard can you throw?

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how do you make a baby cry? you throw a brick at it's face!

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set in her backyard? Neither did she.

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How is butter and your mom similar? They both consist of much fat.

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why did the chicken cross the road? cause kade touches himself at night

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It didn't, a cookie is a food, therefore it doesn't have working organs.

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Why did the midget fall from a tall building? Because somebody pushed him.

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Why couldn't Matilda walk to school? Because a dog ripped her legs off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops