What is better than one trillion dollars? One trillion and one dollars... duh.

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

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why was the man gay? Because its not a choice. its a lifestyle.

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Rose are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, Now so do you.

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what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

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Yo mama is so fat she could be a plus size model because she's big and hot.

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A black man walks up to a jewish man in a bar. They engage into a nice conversation, seeing how they were friends back in college.

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A man walked in to a bar, he ordered a few drinks, met some new friends and had a good laugh with them. Later that night, he got in his car and drove home, which was foolish, as he should have known that being under the influence of alcohol increases the percentage of a collision, which could take his life and the lives of others. He arrived home just fine and got in to bed with his wife who was happy to see him.

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Why did the man enter the fridge? He was hot Why is the man not in the chicken shop Hes in the fridge

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Q: Why did the black man run from the chainsaw? A: Someone was trying to kill him with it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Everything.

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Roses are red, violets are red. Aaaaaahh! My garden's on fire!

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What's the difference between a plane and a Muslim dentist? A plane hasn't dedicated its life to the study of dentistry

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Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

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Moderately entertaining story, friend.

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Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

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What do you call a doctor without a head? Deceased

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Whats worse than the holocaust? WNBA

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Four guys are on an airplane. The plane lands safely and the four guys return to their families.

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Sorry Liz, his sodium levels are so bad that while he is drinking a lot, his body is not containing water, and while his pulse and breath is fine he is passing out from time to time, he is asking for stimulants Ritalin specifically, but I am not sure if his body could withstand that, I really don't mind to pry, but does he use Ritalin? I mean he chats a lot, but ADHD? I am just asking out of health concerns, not that I am a doctor, but I just worry... Flirty personality... More like a clown, he says he refuses to eat unless I breastfeed him XD. He is eating now though, solids work, never had a tougher patient, he will make it for sure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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