Knock Knock Whos there? Me. I am a psycopathic heroin addict, and i came to your house to violently rape you and kill your whole family. I dont have a family. Oh.

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what's green and has wheels? grass, i lied about the wheels.

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Why can't you fit 100 oranges in a bathtub? Because motorcycles don't have doors

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse does not say anything because its a horse and horses cannot talk.

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What did man who had diarrhea say to the other man? "I have to go to the toilet."

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

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What is the difference between a Jew and a canoe? A canoe tips.

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I used to make references to characters in Skyrim, but then my uncle touched me...

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What did the nurse say to the man who got an erection while being given a sponge bath? She assured him it was a normal reaction and moved on to clean his arms.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like ass, And no one loves you!

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What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut... A Heart Attack.

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How do you kill a fat guy Keep giving him food he'll die eventually.

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what is black and is a really bad neighbor. your bad neighbor wearing a black shirt.

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What did Aaron Pfeifer say to Zach Faller ? Yee

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What is the difference between Jews and the boyscouts? The boyscouts come home from camp.

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A:Knock Knock B:It's open

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven looked angry and had a gun.

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knock knock *opens door* WE DON'T WANT ANY!

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the kangaroo fall over? Because it fell over the dead koala

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Micheal Jackson walks into a bar

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Why couldn't the ten-year-old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13

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A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

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What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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