A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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Why did John fall off the tree? We were throwing rocks at him.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "That's kind of ambiguous..."

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the the wheels.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Worlds first anti joke.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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What do you call a Chinese person with a computer for a head? Dead because it is impossible for your heart to function with out a brain

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Christopher Reeve walks into a bar.

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4 gay men walked into a bar. it was a gay bar. all 4 men had a good time

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When adolf hitler went to the chippy, He ordered a bock wurst. Later, he ate the whole thing and said he wants another.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't handle the stress and pressure of being a duck so it committed suicide by crossing a road and therefor being run over by a car.

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What did the Lightning Bolt say to the Thunder Cloud? WATTSup?

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Not much of an anti joke but here we go... - What do you get when you cross a jew and a potato? - A Baked potato!

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

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A black man, an Asian man, and a white man are stranded in the wilderness after their plane crashed. The black man has a flashlight, the Asian a bottle of water, and the white man a can of beans. They put their racial differences aside to increase chance of survival but were eaten by a pack of coyotes.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

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What did the girl say to the guy raping her? Stop.

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How do you get straight A's? Try really hard throughout the school year and when it comes to the exams study enough to ensure you understand all the material, but so so much as to compromise your sleeping pattern, and in turn, your performance on the day.

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Your mums a penis joke.

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What is the most effective abstinence plan? There is none.

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What did the watermelon say to the apple? Nothing. Watermelons are fruits and incapable of speech.

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I like my coffee how I like my women. Without a penis. - Blake Woodman

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Have you seen the flock of birds? probably not because they hit a window and all died at impact.

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What do you get when you put Star Wars and Disney together? A Bad Sequel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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