If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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What's the difference between Micheal Phelps and Adolf Hitler. Michael Phelps is an Olympic swimmer who has won many gold medals in the 2008 Olympics in swimming races and is considered to be one of the greatest swimmers ever. Adolf Hitler was a terrible man who was the leader of the Nazi party during the World Wars. He ordered to kill eight million Jews, causing what is called the Holocaust. He is considered one of the worst men in human history. Other immature people would say Micheal Phelps can finish races.

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A black person and a hispanic person are in a car, who is driving? The black person, after all it's his car.

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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What's another word for Manslaughter? My new Hobby

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What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

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What's worse than locking your keys in ur at outside of an abortion clinic? Going in side and asking for a coat hanger!!

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What should you give your Italian plumber for a refreshment? Water, because he's probably working so hard that he's thirsty.

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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there are two muffins in an oven. one says "its getting hot in here". the other says " oh my gosh!!! its a talking muffin!!!"

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How many wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb? - They are not physically capable

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A blonde is standing on the edge of a 20-story building. He's had a rather rough life.

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Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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Your mother is so fat that she has diabetes

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What's the easiest way to become President? Have a background in politics and a catchy campaign slogan that voting Americans can relate to.

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Dylan: "I dont understand anti-jokes"

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? As they can't find any, they are just squirrels, they can not asist little timmy choking on the lightbulb rolling around on the floor.

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A duck flies to someone's backyard pool. Moments later it takes a dump , then suddenly flies away.

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How do you piss off a teacher? Accuse them of being a pedophile

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Did you know it is impossible to say "Good eye might" and not sound Australian...

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Two muffins are sitting in the oven. One says wow its hot in here the other muffin said HOLY SHIT ITS A TALKING MUFFIN

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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