Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

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Why did the Billy flunk the test? His parents were killed in a refridgerator

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A mercenary was sent from the US to kill a terrorist leader. He was captured by the terrorists but wouldn't give away any information. They beat him, shocked him, cut him, and punched him in a dark room with a light beaming right down on him like a spotlight. It was a grueling five long days until they said "We know you have the information we want, tell us or you will die!" The mercenary sat in silence. They took out a gun and pointed it to his head. The mercenary then broke down and told the terrorists the information they wanted to hear. The terrorists then shot him to death.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped his mother

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What's red and smells like cherries? Cherries

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What was pauls mum screaming? Rape

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Whats red and hurts your teeth? A brick

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What's grey and can't swim? A Castle

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How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

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Q- if a small quiz is a quizicle then whats a small test A- a testicle

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LET'S PLAY CARDS SHUFFLE THE DECK *person with a deck-patio* no please don't

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whats the difference between sand and period blood? You cannot gargle sand.

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What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!

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How do you make a clown cry? You hit them with an axe

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Why did the clock say 10:30? It was a digital clock!

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A salad, hes on a diet

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? You said you'd never forget.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A watch and a pair of socks.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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why did the mexican work for a lawn care service I don't know why don't you ask him

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what do you call a black guy fixing your electricity an electrician

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A bus full of retarded kids got broken on his way. One kid suggested to the bus driver that the problem could be with the brakes, as that kid's father was a mechanic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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