When A Shouty Man Goes Into His House. His Sister Nearly Kills Him So When A Shouty Man Goes Into A Library. The Books Try To Kill Him.

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

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Penis.

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What did the chicken say to the.... nevermind

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uhh i dont feel like writing a joke

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What did Mitch say to joe when he saw his fly was down? Nothing because he's a bagle

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What's beneath Chuck Norris's beard? A chin I presume, as that is what most humans have under their beards. Chuck Norris is a human and therefore is likely to have a chin. This is all based on the assumption that he is a human, because of the many characteristics he has shown that are humanlike.

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An elephant walked into a pub and ordered a strong Vodka and Coke. "Long day?" asked the barman. "Yeah. Very. So many people stroking my trunk in my apartment - It's meant to be a private place. I'm scared to go back there. One child said they were going to rape me."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to escape the evil villains in giant mech suits.

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Somebody who wants to come in.

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What do you call a Muslim woman driving a plane? First, you don't "drive" planes you "fly" them. Second, you should address her as Ma'am, Captain, or Pilot.

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how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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Why couldnt the pirate get into the movies? Because it was rated pg-13 and his parents didnr likw him watching that

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What would Muhammed do?

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What's the difference between a monkey wrench and a snow cone? A lot.

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? Neither has he.

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead

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Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if it weren't for the women our peckers would rust. By:Jhonny Thomas Spikes & Trenton Thomas Prather

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Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

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What do you get when you cross a hooker with five shots of tequila? Herpes

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What did the penis say to the vagina? Nothing, genitalia can't speak.

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Did you hear the one about the dead guy? Apparently he was no longer living.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops