my shift key is broken1

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a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

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Why did little Susie light herself on fire? Answer: She wanted to be warm

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Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

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Why did Sally drop her Ice Cream Cone? Because her dog licked her butthole.

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What's the difference between and Jew and a boy scout? The boy scout returned from camp.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 ? because 7 is black.

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Yesterday I caught my 4year old son shaving, trying to be like his dad. Sadly, he accidently sliced through the main artery supplying blood to his brain and bled to death in my arms.

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Three men walk into a bar, they are promptly served and then they go home. Later that evening the bartender closes the bar and goes upstairs to his apartment where he is struggling with his debt... Business hasn't been as good these days.

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What did the cabbage say to the cabbage? I dont know ask the leafy guy.... >_

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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Let's not pick mushrooms in heaven.

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the danced cus they were young, they danced cus they were free, but mostly the danced cus they needed to pee

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How does Ray Charles see? He doesn't, he plays piano.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 brutally raped and murdered 32.

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A guy walks into a bar. No one notices he has epilepsy.

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ok... let me think of something good! Write Your Own It's easy to take part, just type your text below! ok... let me think of something good! Write Your Own It's easy to take part, just type your text below! ok lets... wait.. wtf I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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Do you know karate, shorty? Or are those bruises from an abusive father?

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Duke Nukem censored line: What are you waiting for? the celebration of the day you crucified Jesus and ate his flesh and blamed it upon the anti christ because of... Victory? Because you know Jesus gave his life in order to prove that he was immortal and died for your sins because his life is eternal... Satan your Moral Man: Nah, lets just go with "what are you waiting for, christmas?" Now go celebrate you murdering your savior which said "ill be back" on the cross and returned three days later at his second coming? Seriously? I thought only Jesus: The guy that was totally an ARAB (deny it and be consumed in the flames of hell, not my problem), and Jesus: strikes back came out, where can I get Jesus: The third coming? Factoid: Yeah Jesus was totally a blonde haired white man which went clothed in the finest ARYAN silks, in addition he only drove in his MUSTANG 9001 and smoked Lucky Strike... Which did nothing for his luck...

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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After a long romantic date with my girl friend I went home. Upon walking to my bathroom for a dootie i realize that I'm gay. So I break up with my girl friend and I am now in a wonderful relationship with Jose, He sell's sea shells at discount prices.

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Once upon a time there were seven dwarfs. They were named Steven, Jason, John, Peter and Alfred.

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What's worse than finding the Holocaust in your apple? Nothing

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If i was a painting... Id hang myself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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