Roses are Grey Violets are Grey lolololol Im a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +42

why did the chicken cross the road? because the chicken had enough of life and wanted to commit suicide due to recent tragic events such as his cheating wife, his druggie son, his prostitute daughter, losing his home, and getting fired

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returned and said, "My friend does not have a pulse and he is not breathing, so I stand by my prior assumption."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What happened to the kid who slept on a roof? He died

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

im watching you..

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti deep thoughts, by Fabian Monge'. The other day while parked at a stop light i was looking in the rear view mirror at the person who was blowing his horn at me. I then realized that while i was looking back at him the light had been green for a while. I then thought that i had better drive forward because i was holding up traffic, and that it was very selfish of me to waste other peoples time like that while wondering what was going on behind me instead of what was happening in front of me. In the time it took for me to come to this conclusion, i had wasted another few seconds of someones time. How very selfish of me.....

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why cant kellen heller drive? She was born with the disabilities of being blind and deaf, thus rendering her unable to operate a vehichle.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your biggest fan.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

(insert antijoke here

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats hotter than the sun? Larger stars.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody, because first, pineapples are too small to fit in, and second, you would drown.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q:What do African American men call the Internet? A:The Internet

thumb_up thumb_down +22

One white male lives in a city with all blacks. He puts up with gang violence nearly every day.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

please thumbs this up to help rhinos with boners thank you

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Your mum. Your mum who? Dinner is ready, come down stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

There was a blond girl, a redhead, and a brunette. They all walk into a hotel and are granted equally friendly desk service because hair color is not a reliable indicator of intelligence or economic status.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

do you want to hear a joke 123456789 987654321 boo!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is the longest sentence that a man knows? If it is used it in context, isn't round and the speaker attempts to quote the whole number - or at least all of it known to date, then any sentence involving the value of pi.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What sound does a snail make? Meow....... Think hard and you'll get it

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was it true for sure? It was on wikipedia.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops