Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I saw a woman get donkey punched in the middle of the street. Nero the clit collector: You know... What is it called when A donkey kinda lifts its front hoove and hits a woman? ...WHAT? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE STARVE TO DEATH BECAUSE OF YOUR COIN COLLECTION? YOUR STAMPS ARE MURDER! (or something) At least my uh... "Friends" survive... SOMETIIIIIIIIMEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!! ...And then I kill them.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats the difference between KFC and Starbucks? KFC didn't murder your sister.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Whats the difference between Amanda and Brittaney spears? Nothing, they are both worthless sluts

thumb_up thumb_down -42

I'd feel bad for some skinny guy who lived in a very obese family and only got hand me downs.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A Black Guy, A Mexican, A White guy, an Indian guy, Santa Clause and The Easter Bunny Jump off a 500 foot cliff. Which one dies? The all do. But Santa dies first because of his weight and mass.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the man on a business trip to Japan say to his wife on the phone? The nuclear reactor in the next city over is melting down as we speak. If I don't see you again, I love you.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What did the clown say to the other clown? I was not present at this conversation, and therefore I was not able to catch what they were saying

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what did the deaf kid get for christmas ? An ipod.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

we asked cheryl cole what she would do if it was the last day on earth she replied.. id probably spend all the time with my family. wrong cheryl youd spend your last day on earth running away from other people wanting to accomplish their last day on earth dreams

thumb_up thumb_down +2

They see me rollin' Up my sleeve for some volunteer work at the local shelter

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why werent you at my party? Becasue there was none!

thumb_up thumb_down +44

How many spots does a giraffe have? Depends on the giraffe.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Jamie Oliver eats a chip

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the elephant cross the road? I don't know

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Hey, did u know that diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in your jeans By: Trey & Trenton of Texas

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse than a stain on your carpet? Two stains on your carpet

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? words

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a Muslim pilot? An accident waiting to happen

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Three Jews walk into a bar. One says something to the other two, but it was in Yiddish, and I don't speak that, so I don't know what he said, but all of them laughed really hard, so it must have been funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did one cow say to the other cow? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Okay chan, you can have it then, I am tired.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops