so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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GIRL: Honey, for a holiday we should go someplace nice BOY: How will that work, none of us speak Mexican...

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What do you call Justin Beiber having sex with a woman? Gay

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What is the difference between a duck? It can neither ride a bike.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

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A woman walks out of the kitchen.

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What did the penis say to the vagina? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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Baby you're so hot I have an erection the size of an average penis.

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Your momma's so stupid that she was declared mentally retarded by her doctors.

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whats up and also down? your mum

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A giant meteor will hit the earth tomorrow.What do you do? Tell everyone I told you so.

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Did you know him? Why the anonymous tip?

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Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

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how many neggers does it take to screw in a light bul.... Nvm, Neggers be too busy screwing ur wife, plus they're lazy.

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"It smells like up dog in here." "What's up dog?" "Not much, what's up with you?"

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Whats better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Adolf Hitler.

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What do you call 12 ghosts? A bus accident.

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Why werent you at my party? Becasue there was none!

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What's a skeleton's favorite type of music? Nothing. Skeletons are just the decomposed remains of a being that was once living.

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I will slam your FACE into the BOOK if you don't stay out of MY SPACE

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Hey babe, do you like going to sleep without shoes on? Because most people find it more comforting to remove footwear in order to rest and relax peacefully during bedtime.

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baloney sandwich

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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