Whats the best part about being alive? Not getting hit by a bus

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roses are scarce, violets are farse, come over here and i'll stick it up ya ar#e.

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The Paralympics! Even if you win, you're still retarded!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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two men walk into a bar. they get a concussion.

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Why did ned fall out of the tree? Because he was hit by a koala.

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how did the doctors try to cure stephen hawking? turn him off then back on again

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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I went to the doctor & he gave only 6 months to live. I told him I couldn't pay my bill, he said "that doesn't change the fact you're going to die soon."

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...Jack Vale

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planned on writing you all an antijoke decided i wouldn't.

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Q: What did the bulbasaur say to the charmanderr?? A: bulbasaurrr

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 is black.

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A skeleton goes to a bar an orders a human flesh.

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How do you not get disappointed at the ending for "Mass Effect 3"? Don't play the game, dumbass.

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What happened after jimmy cheated on a test. Jimmy went home.

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family how do you kill the plumbers family with a wrench

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Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

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Why was the iPhone screen cracked? Because it was dropped on a rock.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen Property.

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I walked in on my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

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Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

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Whats the difference between chad woldert and justin beiber? Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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