Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

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How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

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Why is SkrillEX bad at fishing? S EX

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Knock, knock. Who is there? Child services, here to take your children. The following day, there is another knock at the door. Who is there? The police. The woman runs into the kitchen and kills herself.

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How do you make a fake baby cry -Put batteries in it. How do you make a real baby cry? -Put batteries in it.

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How much is a pet whale? $1350.99

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What did the woman with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A diagnosis.

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Before her maiden voyage, they told the Titanic she could become anything. So she became a submarine.

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What do you call a pencil made entirely of steel? I dont know, i dont name my pencils.

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what cuts the grass on christmas eve and lives in mexico? JP I lied about Mexico jackin it in san diego

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So a white president,a mexican president, and a black president,are on a plane and its going down. The white president wishes he was a dove, and he flies away to safety. Then the mexican president wishes he was an eagle and he flies away to safety. Then the black president falls out the plane and says o s**t and turns into poop.

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Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

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What's chris benoit doing? Just hangin in the gym

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ecks! why zee?

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Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your penis tastes like shit.

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whats young and never moved? still born baby

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What did George Washington say to his men before they got on a boat? Men, get on the boat

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ballsack

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What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

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Q:Whats worse then hard nipples A:The holocaust

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Where do you find a good lawyer? In the cemetary

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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After eating dinner, my dad said... "That was really good."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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