Last night I had consensual sex with my long term girlfriend in the missionary position. It lasted approximately 4 minutes before I ejaculated into the durex extra safe condom.

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Knock, Knock Who's There

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Josh kissing a girl

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nine...eleven

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A black guy walks down the street. He sees a lamp, picks it up and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he has 3 wishes. The black says he wants to be thin, white, and get alot of pussy. The genie says, congadulations your a condom!!

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There's a cat, a dog, a rat and a goat... I don't know how the goat got in there?

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An ant walks into a bar. Nobody Notices...

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whats funny? ebola and 911

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A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender calls animal control.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What'll it be?" The duck replies, "whiskey". The bartender gives the duck the drink and the duck sips it quietly, knowing he is ruining his life. Meanwhile, two cows in a pasture look for some grass to eat.

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Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What's so funny about a heart attack? It's not kidney failure..

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What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly.

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A black man walks into a bar. He is then beaten upon and hung, as this is the 50s.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Due to the height of the fall, one of his ribs pierced his heart and he also suffered extensive head trauma and internal bleeding due to the force when he hit the floor, where he lay in agony for several hours before dying a slow, painful death.

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How did the blond become a pilot? By attending flight school, graduating, applying to an airline to which she subsequently was hired to, taking frequent training courses, and beginning work.

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Why did jasmine drop her shopping? And no its not because she did'nt have arms infact she did have arms she just did'nt have any hands

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What animal is green and eats a green rockeater? A green green rockeater eater. What animal is green and eats a green green rockeater eater? A frog.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Whose there? A chicken.

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What does a turkey do? I don't know I'm not a turkey

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness ... Hello?

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The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

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whats the difference between and black guy and a bench? a bench can supoort a family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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