Whats the difference between a house and a mouse If you think about it , quite a lot really

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Knock, knock who's there? Steve Evans. Steve Evans who? You've already forgotten me? We just met on Eharmony yesterday.

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what did the cow say to shabab?....... want some milk

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have amnesia HOW THE HELL DID I GET HERE?!?

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What would you do if I ripped your face off? Bleed to death.

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blow job I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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Yo momma so fat, she was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and is at great risk for developing heart disease!

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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Why couldn't the pirate play poker? Poker is a tricky game - maybe he'd never been taught how to play.

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What is yellow and has thick, shiny fur? A banana. I lied about the fur.

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Knock Knock Who's there

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what do you get if you cross a lion with a pig? nothing as the lion would more than likely end up eating the high in fat pig.

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What time is it when a cow walks into your house? The time that your mother arives.

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what do you use to blindfold chinese person? dental floss!!

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What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

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i like my coffee like i like my women. without a penis

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Q: Playstation 4 or Xbox One? A: Both of them are specialized desktop computers used to play video games. It makes no sense to argue or attempt to make any distinction, as they are the exact same thing.

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What's Kanye West's main goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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What is worse than a bunch of babies stapled to a tree? A bunch of trees stapled to a baby.

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If you go to an animal shelter to get a pet god, you may be dyslexic.

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and becomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into a piece of shit.

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What do u call Lindsay Lohan fall from grace? Probably likely tragic and is also a very useful metaphor for The USA's projected path for global and economic superiority.

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a pornstar comes early to a party

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What's the difference between a baby and a textbook? You throw a textbook at the wall with TWO hands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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