A Japanese man, a Canadian man and a French woman walk into a bar. They do not converse because they don't speak the same language.

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What's more greasy than grease? Kevin's hair

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Man in Balcony: You're telling it wrong!

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A fat mexican man runs a marathon. Later, he is hit by a bus and raped by a squirrel.

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What do you call George Mills? A very kind, sensitive person with a poor music taste.

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"Billy Mays here!" No he's not. He's dead.

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What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

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there is nothing better than waking up to realise that your being hugged by your partner unless that partner is not home

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The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

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How many shots do you have to take to start feeling light-headed? Ask JFK.

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Wanna hear a riddle? Womens rights

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Q: Whats black, white and red all over? A: not me

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One muffin doesn't say anything to another muffin while baking in an oven because they lack the organs necessary to attain properties of speech and thought

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why was the kid laying in the middle of the baseball field? he was shot in the face then mauled by a bear.

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What is a person who can hold there breath for an hour? Dead

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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How did Elmo get his show? Because the kids loved his furry ass and hoped to be on with dorthy

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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What word starts with a P and ends with an ORN?.......Popcorn sickos!

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Whats a never ending Opium for the stupid, mentally depraved un educated population? Christianity

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How do you confuse and anger a blonde? Kill her family and loved ones and say you did it because potato.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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