Patient- "Doctor, doctor help me! I've only got 59 seconds to live!" Doctor- "I'll be there in a minute."

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A cyclist looses control in a race. How does he stop? Run into the spectators on the side of the road.

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what d you call three arabs walking through the desert? dehydrated.

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what did the ghost say to the bee boo-bee

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Cancer.

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What's te best part about having sex with twenty two year olds? There are 20 of them ;)

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why was the baby crying? cause his abusive father broke his arm.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics? Not being disabled.

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What do you call a cannibal who won't eat his own brother? A pussy.

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You scream I scream We all screamed when the chicken crossed the road

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a brunet,a redhead,and a blone were stranded on an island 4 miles away from land. the brunet swam 1 mile and drowned. the redhead swam 2 and drowned. the blond swam 3 miles and decided to swim 3 miles back to the island

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what did the catholic priest say to the boy?

god be with you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you throw her on the ground.

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What would Walt Disney do if he were alive today? Gurgle and choke inside his cryogenic vault as liquid nitrogen flooded into his lungs.

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A dyslexic boy is writing an essay. Luckily, his disease is mild and he does not misspell anything.

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Q. What's louder than one dinosaur? A. A whole bunch of dinosaurs.

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Q: How do you make a black man think you're racist? A: Racism

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what is big white and hurts when it falls on you out of tree? A refrigerator

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Q. what did the hobo say to the rich guy A. nothing the hobo wa a mute

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What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

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Q: Where did little Suzie go during the bombing? A:Everywhere

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A raccoon walks into a bar. He then proceded to bite 3 people before animal control got him. A black man, hispanic man and an asian man. Later they all walked to the hospital and were treated for rabies, they were all fine as rabies is normally not fatal when caught early. Moral- this story is racist cause the white man was completely unharmed, DONT DISCRIMINATE!

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Whats worse then finding a winning lottery ticket? Probably Everything

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops