a ghost walks into a bar and sais BOO! The bartender then yelded AAAAHHH! and died of a hart attack.

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is quite strange, but then realizes he is dreaming. He awakes and tells his wife about it. His wife tells him to go to sleep. The bartender is now sad because he realizes his marriage is in shambles

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why is coltin alexander such a duche? because no one loves him

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Q: If your riding down the Nile on a boat and your boat springs a leak, how many boxes of pancake mix does it take to fix the hole? A: 58, because Koalas are marsupials

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, go ask the chicken.

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roses are red, violets are blue. you've got Alzheimer's, it sucks to be you

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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why was little bobby sad? he accidentally super-glued Jupiter to his forehead.

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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What do you call someone that hates gay people? An asshole.

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Who can jump higher than a mountain? Everyone, mountains are incapapable of jumping.

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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Meow.

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There are 3 types of people in this world; people who can count, and people who can't

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So, a bulldozer rolls into a bar, there is no bar now.

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Somebody has robbed your house, how do you gather evidence? Look for traces of watermelon or chicken bones.

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A man walks in the a bar Now he has 3 missing teeth

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the results of his AIDS test

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What do a fish and a bird have in common? They both live under water. Apart from the bird.

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roses are red, violets are blue i couldnt spend one night without you

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A black man is running down the street with a purse in his hand. He was trying to catch up to the old woman who forgot it at the restaurant. She was very grateful.

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why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

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Why do elephants paint there feet yellow? so they can hide in mustard bottles. Have you ever seen an elephant in a mustard bottle? exactly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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