When you wish upon a star... ... you're actually a few million years late, according to astronomy. The star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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I had a terrible childhood. My mom abandoned me before I was born.

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What is the way to a woman's heart? Through her chest cavity.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

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Two elephants walk off of cliff.... BOOM BOOM!

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What is the #1 cause of pedophiles? Sexy children

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Hey, did you see that episode of Glee last night? It was awesome! Especially that scene where they all sang. It wasn't as good as the previous ones, but I think the show it making a comeback.

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What do the poor have that the rich need? Nothing.

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Why was the Cubs fan sad? His wife just left him.

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Why did Lou Gehrig die from? ALS

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A man yells at the top of the Grand Canyon, "Heyoooooo" He hears His voice echo multiple times. He yells again, "Heyoooooo" This time he hears his echo and a girl yell "heyo" back to him from within the canyon. He looks down. He falls. A mountain goat breaks his fall. The man is so thankful for the goat. He says, " Thank you goat! You saved my life!" The goat then pulls out a gun, and shoots him thrice. The man dies.

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Why did the hamster run around the wheel.? Because he lived in a small cage and had nothing better to do.

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Why was the boy crying in public with no clothes on? Because he had no clothes on in public.

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My wife came up to me and said, "I want you to make me scream with 2 fingers!" So I poked her in the eyes!

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I AM DISSAPOINTED

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What do you get when you divide 60000 by 30? A Number

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What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

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Your mom is so stupid, she decided to go back to school.

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Yo momma's so fat, that she was put in this joke

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whats up and also down? your mum

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Q.How many dinosaur species can jump as high as a house? A.All of them, houses can't jump

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What does a baby and a bowling ball share in common? They both displace a similar amount of water.

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In Soviet Russia, millions die under an oppressive and uncaring regime that uses communism to justify its inhumane policies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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