what is red white and blue? the french flag

Why did the soccer player miss practice? He got shot in the face.

What's worse than being caught in a downpour? Having your kneecaps ripped out of their sockets.

What is similar between a horse and a zebra? - If you chopped of there heads, they would die.

Why couldn't the black guy vote? He was only 17.

Why was the chicken angry? Because he was tired of everyone questioning his motives.

What's worse than being forced to drink your own urine and eat a disabled kids poop? James Holmes (Ironic that the text I had to type in to post this was "I'M BATMAN".)

What is the reward for the pimp who banged a bitch? HIV

It was a boys birthday, his mom died of cancer, his dad of aids, and all of his siblings were put in a gas chamber. Happy Birthday

There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Neither did she.

A man was walking home when a little boy ran up to him. He said "hey mister, how do you sleep apples?" Then the man wasn't sure why he asked him so he spelled it out for him "that's easy my boy, A-P-P-L-E" the little boy said "you said pee pee!" Then he laughed and ran off

"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

Your mom is so fat, she weighs 732 kilograms.

What number is funnier than 23? 24.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He lost his punch line. -by Ross

how do you get rid of your home work? give it to your dog!

What did the bird say to the fence? Chirp.

whats the difference between friends and cement? if you soak friends in liquid and then repeatadly shock them they will die

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

What happened when the chicken got to the other side of the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

So, these two antennas were getting married. The wedding was great, but the reception was terrible!

Your mom's so fat, she's is bigger than the average person.

I look back at all those hours I wasted playing those stupid video games, but then I'm reminded of all those people I brutally killed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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