The other day I was talking to this guy... Nice guy

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If life gives you lemons ask where they came from.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one being irish and the other chinese. now they both happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china, where as the chinese man had not committed any crime.

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Santa Claus and eight reindeers walk into a bar. “Hey, fatty,” the barman shouts. “Where’s Rudolph?” “He’s dead,” Santa replied. “I’m sorry to hear that,” the barman said, looking embarrassed. “Let me get you a drink.”

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What did the girl get for her birthday? the Plan B pill

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Knock knock. Who's there? To. To who? To whom.

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69

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why was the black man wearing a ski mask? he was skiing.

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whats sad about a bus full of blacks driving over a cliff? the driver was white

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Two drunk men were in a bar fight, they smashed beer bottles on each others heads and walked away because it hurt.

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POO IS LARGE WHEN IT COMES OUT OF ME

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it has a serious crack addiction and there was a drug dealer on the other side.

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Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark. Because he's a grown man, and most grown men aren't afraid of the dark.

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A man walks into a bar and talks with his friends. One of his friends said " Hey, who farted?" When the bar closed, Joe realized it was he who farted.

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Why is my penis rainbow colored?

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Wow, that makes your name a lot more comfortable to say... Not type, and you seem to be more sensitive than non-red hair girls. Besides its really nice, why do you dye it? Is it like red or ginger?

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint.

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A gay guy and a blind man walk into a bar. It's a gay bar. The blind man is also gay.

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A guy walks into a bar and says ouch.

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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Why dose not the cat bark? Because it's a cat!

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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What happened to the chicken that crossed the road. It got hit by a fridge.

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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