why did the shark bite the surf board? It thought it was turtle.

a black guy and a squirrel get hit on two different roads. whats is the difference? there are swerve marks by the squirrel.

A blonde girl walks into a screen door. She is blind.

Geeks have girlfriends...................... . . . I MEAN alien friends (geeks are losers and you decide your a geek or not)

Why did the black man get arrested? He didn't pay child support for his 12 bastard children

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm dyslexic couldn't tell, could you?

What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly my dick down your throat.

What do you call a over weight woman? Fat bitch.

Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock WHAT THE F*** DO YOU WANT?!?!?!?! Oh, well then nevermind

My wife has terminal cancer.

Mum, "Why aren't you listening to me, are you deaf or something?" Son, (Silence)...

How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, it's not that hard.

Q: What did the passengers think of thier Chineese bus driver? A: They were very pleased with the bus driver's service, for he was a very safe driver and got them to their destination on time.

why couldnt the man run because he had no legs

There was a buffalo on a farm. The buffalo was slaughtered and then put and a package and sent to people who like the taste of slaughtered, chemical filled buffalo. In other words, people who like buffalo wings.

Two muffins are in an oven one muffin says to the other muffin "It's hot in here" the other muffin says "Holy crap a talking muffin".

What is a dyslexic mathematician's favourite song? Angels. [L]

I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

What is the last bit of snow to fall from the sky called? Nothing. Meteorologists have not come up with a scientific term for this phenomenon.

What did robin say to batman before they got I the car........ Get in the car.

What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

What is big, hard, and bushy? My Penis. I lied about it being bushy.

What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

Did you know, even though penguins ARE birds... They don't live in volcanoes?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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