Why did 12 people die when they went to see The Dark Knight Rises movie premiere? Because they were shot and bled profusely resulting in quick, painful death.

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Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

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There once was a man from peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe he awoke with a fright in the middle of the night to find he had eaten the gel packets that came with them and died of cancer.

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Wanna here a good joke?

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Q: What did Helen Keller say to the bartender? A: "I would like a bud lite please" it was a different Helen Kellar

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Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

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What's the difference between a rhino and a house cat? They look way different.

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Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a sludge hammer, the other is a watermelon

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Whats worse than not coming up with an original anti joke? Nothing.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a cannibal and like to burn people.

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Artichoke is a vegetable state induced by swallowing paint

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia......

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Tell him he won the current game of hide n seek.

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Why was the boy dead? The boy was hit by a bus ran over by a train and stabbed to death by a murderer then put into a grinder for a meal for the murderer.

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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Q: What's worse than getting hit by a bus? A: Herpes, AIDS, Diarrhea, Constipation, Castration, Super Herpes, or the song "Friday."

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Obama

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It is so hot out here, that it could melt an ice cube that was once in the freezer!

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How do you prevent aids? Nail an orphan to your genitals before sex.

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What's the only part of a vegetable you cant eat? The wheelchair

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What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your carmel apple, which costs about 35 cents more on average.

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What should you do if a stranger picks you up? Politely request that he put you down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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