What did the mother get at the grocery store? Food.

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Yo mamma so mexican she brought tacos to the dinner table

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did u hear about evan porter going out with his computer of course not because u haven't read this joke yet

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says "Well, it's a long story but I tell you. You see, one day I was walking along the beach and I found a dusty old lamp. I rubbed the lamp and a big magic genie appeared. He told me I could have 3 wishes." The horse continues: "So I told the genie I wish I had a 10 billion dollars. I checked my bank account and sure enough it came true. My second wish was I wished for a beautiful wife. Suddenly a light came from the sky like an angel falling and I saw a beautiful woman and fell in love with her." The bartender says to the horse "Let me guess, so for your third wish, did you wish you were a horse with a long face?" The horse says "No that's not what I wished for." The bartender asks "What was your third wish?" The horse says "Well you won't believe me but I wished I was a bartender pretending to talk to a horse about some genie granting him wishes." After about 30 minutes of arguing with himself, other employees at the bar had had enough of the bartender talking to himself and called psychiatric personnel to escort the bartender to the mental hospital as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? The police Johnson Oh, come in Mr Johnson

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You are so gay you frequently, and consentingly are sodomized by men and frivolously enjoy it.

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What has five letters and sounds like "trucks?" Vroom

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back. And 6 million in the ashtray

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What did the German girl say to me? entschuldigen Sie (excuse me)

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i am an inbred jew who likes penis up my bum ~Nathan Barras

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Why do British Folk have yellow teeth? Genetics. Although scientists don't know the exact cause, it has been shown that people of British ancestory have a genetic predisposition which inhibits the body's breakdown and utilization of Vitamin C and Calcium. This causes decalcification and scorbutic gums. The British slang term "Limey" comes from the fact that the British Royal Navy was made to drink lime juice to prevent scury. The Royal Navy was almost wiped out by an epidemic of Scurvy.

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whats worse then finding out your girlfriend cheated on you.. -9/11

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Two guys walk into a bar, have a good time, and exit the bar, relatively sober. They are driven home by a friend who agreed to be the designated drive for safety purposes and enjoy the rest of the evening with their wives, to whom they are happily married. Then the joke ends abruptly.

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What's really weird? It's you Greg!

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Why couldn't the dead man take a shit? He was severely constipated

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Why did the penguin die? It got eaten.

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What's black and white and red all over? A butler with a stab wound.

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I'm a psychic. Don't believe me? Think of any number between 1 and 20. Got it? Your number is 17. Please comment if I got it right

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Why was Billy unhappy? He was molested by a black guy.

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What do Ethiopian children do at night? Starve

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How do you make a mail man cry? Run him over with a forklift.

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What happens when Terran Hansen has sex with a cow? Jesse Z.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One of them I like to eat, and the other one is a watermelon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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