Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens do not possess the mental capacity to grasp the idea of "roads"

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Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

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One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

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How do you kill a pirate? Throw him of a bridge

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She didn't own a car.

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all the kids had fun

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Here is a nursery rhyme: Jane is a scruff, she has a head full of nits. She also had pain in her great big... Now don't get excited. Don't be mislead. Because all that Jane had was a pain in her head!

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A man walks into a bar. Now, that's unheard of !

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Two guys walk into a bar, one is treated for a concussion.

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Want to know a joke? There is no joke.

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Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A. From a catalogue.

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What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

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what happens when you put Rihanna and Chris brown in the same room? Rihanna dies

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Two arabs fly into a bar in the twin towers

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What's the difference between 4 and 6? 2.

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What rhymes with turtle? Rape

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black —Stevie Wonder

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What's green has eight legs, and would kill you of it fell on you from the top of a tree? A Billiard table

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese

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What's orange, looks like and orange, probably tastes like an orange, and has no brain? Donald Trump

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's only a joke. It's not that, my wife and son were just killed in a drunk driving accident.

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How do you confuse a Mexican? Stand in the middle of a crosswalk while shouting "Cthulu will rise!" whilst looking at the sky and playing "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. Works every time.

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How do you get an alien baby to sleep? Well, first you need to get an alien baby.

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Why is Jordan Abu Arabian ? Because his mom is!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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