Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

thumb_up thumb_down +6

a man walked into a bar, however the bar was in Pakistan so he got shot by terrorists

thumb_up thumb_down +20

i lost the game

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Senior Sergeant Thomas the officer investigating your current rape and insect charges. Please open the door now.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A bear walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What'll it be." The bear mauls his face off and kills several other patrons before police show up and fire three rounds in it's face.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why are black people afraid of tigers? Because tigers eat people

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did lil' Jimmy fall off his bike? The weight ratio between the left and right sections of his body became uneven due to some sort of change in the traction of the tires to the bumps on the road/ path.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Person 1: Ask me if I'm a truck? Person 2: Are you a truck? Person 1: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

how do you finish a 30000 piece puzzle you search for cheat codes

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Have you ever tried grabbing a bottle of 7-up free and walked away with it? Moral: If it says its free, its free ffs!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red, yup.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q. What do you tell a women with two black eyes? A. Stop pissing him off!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the chicken say to the duck .... Nothing the chickin was Spanish and the duck was illiterate

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was timmy having trouble with his homework? Because lobotomies were a forced practice in the 1950's.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Once there was a dog, another one came to it and then there were two.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why is my penis rainbow colored?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Grandma walked into the kitchen...

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What is funny about 9/11. Nothing you sicko, it was a tragic day for the world.

thumb_up thumb_down

How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? By grounding her.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Did you hear the joke about the Israeli guy with the cruise missile down his pants? Me neither. I hope it's a good joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops