Why was the little girl lying on the floor? Because she had no arms or legs.

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Whats the difference between a crucifixion and a circumcision? In crucifixion you throw out the whole Jew.

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Your friend is so gay he has consensual sex with other men, and enjoys it.

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Your mom is so ugly, that her job prospects are affected negatively, and your family suffers as a consequence.

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How many ants are in the kitchen? None. We killed them all.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Gestapo.

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Whats green and has wheels? A Rednecks front lawn.

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how do u get a clown to stop smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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Nero, man, I mean I will hurt you, I am on my way to the hospital, and seriously that pic does not look real, seriously on a hospital? I mean man, I am really sorry! I nearly killed you, how was i supposed to know you do not care about your teeth and take half a bottle of that calcium stuff? My mom? Yeah sure! She laughed at the message you sent her, and if you touch my sis, ill kill you, anyway I am on my way, you better change your mind or I will kick your ass!

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Whats worse than losing your keys? Your entire family dying in a preventable house fire.

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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There once was a man from Madrass Whose balls were made out of brass This was incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassing for him. It also affected his sexual potency and rendered him infertile, Which drastically affected his ability to enter and sustain relationships with women.

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If frogs weren't alive, there wouldn't be any frogs left on earth.

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What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Ham and Cheese!

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Why didn't the girl get on the school bus? It was Sunday.

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roses are red, violets are blue. Barack Obama says, nice to meet you.

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'I had a surprise test today.' 'What happened?' 'I was really surprised.'

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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whats worse than getting in a car crash Heroshema

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Q-- Why did the boy stop playing football? A -- He had to go for his tea

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Whats the differnce betwwen a Wheelbarrow and a sack of dead babies The wheelbarrow is not in my garage

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What kind of cheese is not you cheese? Not your cheese.

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What did the computer say to the mouse? Nothing inanimate objects cant talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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