what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

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Hitler walks into a bar and is shot on sight

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms

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The cream, it is coming

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why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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How do you know when some one is a complete dick? When they hit the prestige buttom in Black Ops when your taking a dump. N.P.P.

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Which is the smallest? A. Jupiter B. Whale C. Cow D. Bracelet Answer: D

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* Are you deaf? * Yes, as I love paradoxes.

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What's worst then finding a worm in your apple??? Yo momma

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What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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When life gives you melons, your probably dyslexic.

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Tommy got hit by a truck Knock knock Whos there Not tommy

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what is this joke about? - i don't know i am still writing the j

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I saw a man one day i saw him the next day and the next and the next i didn't see him ever again

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What's the difference between mustangs and dead babies I don't collect mustangs

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What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

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What did the Turkey say on Thanksgiving? Gobble gobble.

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Why did the terrorist miss the flight he was supposed to blow up? He forgot his passport.

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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What do you call a black kid on a bike? Dirt bike

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food? No. Neither have they

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im typkiking wifrh myv troes. Sorry, i was typing with my toes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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