Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Q:Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken

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What's red and u drink it Koolaid

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Why did the vegetarian lose her foot? Diabetes.

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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kieran is a homosexual

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How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

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If you lose your left arm, your right one will be left.

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Holocast ...

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What's the difference between a woman and the Universe ? One is full of mysteries mankind may never understand, the other is, well, the Universe.

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Why was i sad when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

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Why did Helen Keller's cat kill itself? It didn't, I did.

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TWO ROADS DIVERGED IN A WOOD

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What do you call an 8 foot anxious priest painted purple named harold? Harold.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawer? we are both lawyers

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a man walked up to me and said someone is dying with long terminal cancer i said who? man replies your cat. i replied i don't have a cat. man says whoops wrong person

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Why were Jews discriminated against for thousands of years? They weren't supposed to. Jews are people just like you and me. And for every ignorant person out there that hates Jews, you better watch your back because God is watching you.

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What do you call a man who beats his adopted, black children? A terrible person.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jeff Oh hey Jeff, come on in

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Why did the girl suck the other guy off? to get paid

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What do you call a black guy with a fan? An African American male Homo Sapien who is most likely hot and sweaty and is probably trying to create cold air and then reduce how hot they are likely reducing the sweat glands natural instict to create ameliorate of sweat and then make him feel better.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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