A man calls his wife, but she doesn't pick up. He comes home and shouts his wife's name, but no one responds. He walks upstairs and sees the bedroom door half-opened. He enters and sees his wife sleeping.

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Q: why does batman die in the end of dark night rises? A: he smoked got cancer and died.

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What did the 80 year old man do to celebrate valentines day with his wife? Nothing, Alzheimer's made him forget about Valentines day.....and that he was married. What did his wife do for Valentines day? Killed herself.

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Infamous last words: "Phew these Germans are finally gonna let us take a shower! Okay who farted! And do not lie because it smells like gas in here!" "Oh Crickey! That reptoil looks dangerous! Good thing I am immune to reptoils... Wait are Manta-Roys reptoils? uh oh..." "Hi OJ dear! Say hello to my brothe..." Moral: Hmm my chest hurts I wonder if... YAAAAaaaaaaaaaaRAGHGHGhGHGHG *dead* RESURRECTION! Phew...

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Yo Mama is so fat She wears XL clothes.

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, im a dog

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What do you call shark with no dorsal fin? Unused ingredients for soup.

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Whats black and red and dead? Nobody could tell, but they were sure that it wasn't a dead black person, so stop being racist!

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What's worse than losing your wallet? Having a miscarriage.

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a brunet,a redhead,and a blone were stranded on an island 4 miles away from land. the brunet swam 1 mile and drowned. the redhead swam 2 and drowned. the blond swam 3 miles and decided to swim 3 miles back to the island

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What did one jew say to the other? Hello.

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*knock knock* *knock knock * ? ? The man didnt answer because he died of a stroke

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Roses are reds violets are blue when your parents says your beautiful they're lying to you

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Roses are red Violets are actually purple You should probably see an eye doctor.

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Q. Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A. being physically disabled due to a preventable accident, thus leaving you incapable of doing activities that are easily completed by an able-bodied person

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;aosughdfo

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What did the white man say to the black man? Nothing. Earlier that day his vocal chords were ripped out by an angry chimpanzee. He will never speak again

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? "Robin, get in the batmobile!"

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What do you call a black man driving a helicopter? Blackhawk down

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Why didn't Billy have legs? Because he's a fish.

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A hayride would be fun.

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What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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What's annoying and wears glasses? The kid next to you

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How many people were trampled on Black Friday this year? Not enough.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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