An American almost walks into a store when he sees a Jew. The Jew was also about to walk into the store, So the american opens the door for him and says"Jew first."

If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Well, that depends if the apocalypse was happening and if there were even any Americans left at all.

What happened to the chicken that crossed the road? It got ran over by a car!

What is worse than burning your toast? - Obama

What do you do when you find a blonde on her knees? Help her up, because obviously she has fallen.

Why are rich people usually fat? They're living large

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

A man walks into a bar, he begins drinking and returns home visably drunk. His family disowns him as he is a recovering alchoholic who was three months sober.

Q: What do you do when your friend tells you he murdered someone? A: Call the police.

i tell you whats funny......... what? a fat sudanese man

If i had a dollar for every time Lindsay Lohan Crashed a vehicle......i would be rich

what is white and sticky? glue.

a naked man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out because you must have shoes and a shirt to be served

If you like this song so much why don't you marry it? Because a divorce would be tough on the kids

There's a skunk and a lawyer standing on the side of the road, what's the difference? There are tire marks infront of the skunk.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Why was chuck norris the anti christ? Christianity was being threatened....

A bear walks into a bar. The building is evacuated swiftly but several people are killed

What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

What is big, hard, and bushy? My Penis. I lied about it being bushy.

Q:Why did the boy cry? A: because his mom was hit by a bus Q: why did the boy wipe his face? A:he was covered in his mother blood and threatened all the witness who saw him push his mother into the bus

How do you keep a woman from driving your car? Shoot her.

How do you get a jewish girls number check her wrist

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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