Why did the Democrat cross the road? Because the glorious leader ordered it for all minions

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Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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if i have 2 bananas, and you have 2 bananas, then together we have 4 bananas what are the chances?

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SHEA CAPOLUPO HAS A TINY SHLONG. 8- turn your head sideways haha.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

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What did the black man do with the piece of bacon? He ate it.

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Why did Hitler hate Jews? Because he use to get bulied by them when he was in high school.

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roses are red violets are blue i just made you remember two girls one cup

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Once upon a time, there was a a loving couple. When they first kissed, the girl's heart skipped a beat, but it wasn't because of love. It was a heart murmur. She died. The end.

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Why are rich people usually fat? They're living large

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What does the blond say when she walks out of the salon Nothing, she is hit by a car, and promptly goes into a coma and hasnt said anything since

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What's the same between a bike and a duck? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

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What's better than Westboro Church? Committing over 9000 sins.

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Have you ever seen what Stevie Wonder looks like without his sunglasses? Neither have I.

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a man walks into a house... then realizes its not his house and leaves.

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What's the difference between a plumber and a husband? Both fuck the same women when the other is away.

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What's more dangerous than bungee jumping without a rope? Getting into a car with Ben Colbert.

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Jeremy has 8 apples. Susie has 3. how much does Jason have? Purple because aliens don't like grapes.

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What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly shits on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Why did bobby fall of the swing? He had no arms -Knock knock -Who's there? -Bobby -But how? -I knocked with my diick -Oh

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whats the difference between black people and dogs? people actually care when something happens to a dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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