Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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What has legs but can't walk? A table...or a dog with four broken legs.

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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What's red and green and goes round and round? A kilt at a scottish dance

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0000000010000000000000001000000000000000000000011111111000000000111111000000000000000000011111000000000000011100000000000000000000000000000000100000000000000000000000000000000000000001000000000000000000000000000000000000000011100000000000000000000000000000000000000111100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001111111111111111100000000000000000000000001000000000000001000000000000000000000000001000000000000100000000000000000000000000001111111111111000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 SMILE

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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Q: What do you get when you stand a blonde on her head? A: HORSE DICK

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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why are black people so good at basketball? because they all can run jump steal and shoot

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how do we call a person with no body nor nose? a dead guy

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? Probably just one.

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whats the difference between a black rapist and a white rapist? the black rapist is black

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Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

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why did phil ruin the patio furniture? because he wasnt familiar with the grammar technique used

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Women's Rights.

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What is Mario's favorite food? I don't know. You should ask him.

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Why did the football player go to the bank? He had to make a deposit and refinance his home.

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A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

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What's funnier than diarrhoea? Cancer What's funnier than cancer? The holocaust

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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What did the white cop say to the black thug? he didn't... he got shot before he could say anything

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Test

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Q: pete and re-pete were on a boat, pete fell off. who was left? A: i dont know, but why did pete fall off in the first place, that dumb ass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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