Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Finding an apple in your worm !!! ... Wait, what ?

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The man decides to jump off the bridge and decides to make one last phone call. "Hello, Jane, this is Doug. I just wanted to let you know, from the bottom of my heart, that I love you." Person on the phone says "This is not Jane, this is Joe." "Oh, hi, Joe. Could you just tell your wife what I said. Bye." The man continues to jump down the bridge and swims with his beautiful girlfriend. They all had a great day.

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if you read this you are gay

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Q: Wanna hear a joke? A: the WNBA

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how many scrubbers does it take to change a lightbulb 2, 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell like urine.

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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Why doesn't my mom make dinner anymore? she died in a fire on my birthday.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? You rub your bloody penis on her teddy bear.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The farmer quickly saw the chicken escaping and grabbed it before it caught any dangerous outside diseases, making his entire flock go bad, and therefore making the farmer go bankrupt.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Part 1 Q: what did Sally get for Christmas A: cancer Part 2 knock knock Who's there Not Sally MR

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So much oil was spilled into the ocean that it is killing animals.

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What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

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What did the ghost say when it stubbed its toe? Ow

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If life gives you lemons, You have a problem and you might need medicine.

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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What's black and white and red all over? A post-racial communist country.

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What did the man with no head get for Christmas? Nothing he was dead

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what is the difference between a blond and a red head? one is has blond hair and one has red hair

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If the covalent bonds of two Hydrogen atoms and one Oxygen atom creates water, which subs are currently on the 5-dollar-foot-long menu at Subway?

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How many finger does a fat person have? I don't know you can never find there hands.

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What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident.

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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