Knock knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible...

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs go for christmas? Cancer

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

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Cat ate a battery, did volts.

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What's black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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I had an amnesia joke But it was written down on a slip of paper because someone else wrote it down. Let me just take it out & read it to you

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

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Did you know that Obama wasn't born in the United States*? *the contiguous United States

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He chickened out.

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What does it smell like, what does it feel like, do you like it? Yes

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AYE DEAD ON CAOIMHIN

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Q: What's grey and looks good on policemen? A: A stylish grey hat.

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Why did the clown want a new bike? Don't ask me, clowns are allowed to want things too

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What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

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Why did it take the rabbit so long to enter the rabbithole? Because he was hit by a truck and lost a lot of blood.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jimmy Tyler, your son Hi son *continues to open door

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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hi.... bonjour... hola... DOOO YOUUUU UNDERSTANDDD MEEE !!!!!!!!!!!

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Why's the sun red? It's not it's orange.........retard

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What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

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How to make a plummer cry Kill his family

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So dont touch it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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