How do dogs mark their territory? With legal documents.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dogs do not have aposable thumbs therefore they cannot screw in light bulbs

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What do you get when you cross a Fish and a Duck? A Dish

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Sally Drop here ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock Knock? *who's there* Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A man walks into a bar. Q: What's the apple doing on your head? A: Peach? It's not pear. It's banana.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What is a life without options.... an optionless life

thumb_up thumb_down +5

An Irish priest molested many children. He's still free today

thumb_up thumb_down +48

A American, a Brit and a Mexican decided to bet on who could tell the funniest joke. The one that won told a great joke indeed.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What did bob say when he was told his beloved parents were dying? "oh"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -24

you know what's worse than being grounded? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why'd the chicken cross the road? he didn't what kind of farmer lets their chickens out on the streets, they get crunk you know

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How did Billy tip the cow? He didn't, cows are animals and that would be wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

In soviet Russia... there is a distinct probability that you will get mugged due to the high crime rate and gang ruled streets.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's white and cant jump? A Fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +2

3 women are on a plane. One blonde, one brunnete, and the other a red head. The pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. The 3 women find out that there is only one parachute in the plane. The plane crashes and they all die.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the ginger walking around in bare feet? He had no sole.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Jimmy cry? His mom raped him.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Man: Want to hear an anti joke? Woman: ok Man: Why did the the girl fall off her bike? Woman: I don't know. Man: She got hit by a refrigerator. Woman: ok

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why was Emily in Alaska? Because she and some friends had been playing Simon Says at a birthday party, and the dad had said 'Simon Says go to Alaska'.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops