What did the text-to-speech reader say when the 12 year old boy played around with it? "Ass ass ass ass, ass ass ass ass."

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Why are stand up comedians called stand up comedians? Because they are standing up while telling jokes, dumby.

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This guy goes to the ball game. He waits in line at the concession stand and gets a footlong hot dog and a giant orange soda. Then he makes his way around to his section of the stadium, and works his way to his seat, which is in the center of the row. Right when he's about to take a bite of his hot dog, when he hears someone in the seats way up behind him yell "Hey! Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, and sets down his giant orange drink, stands up and turns around, scanning the crowd. Eventually he sits back down. He picks up his hot dog, picks up his giant orange drink, and is just about to take a bike when he hears it again, someone way up behind him yelling "Hey! Mike!". So, he sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, and scans the hundreds of faces in the seats behind him. After a while, he sits back down. Then, right when he's about to bite into his hot dog, he hears someone behind him yelling "Mike! Hey, Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, cups his hands around his mouth and yells as loud as he can, "My name's not Mike!"

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What happens when a super saiyan eats a fully grown pineapple? hehe xd

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SHUT UP JP

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question.

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Why didn't Bill go to the party? He wasn't invited.

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A Matthew walks into a room. Everyone left. This is not a joke

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Cold camel scrotum.

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A Hispanic, a Caucasian, and an African American walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?"

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sfdg

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What is Justin Bieber + One less lonely girl. A BABY

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What did the blind, deaf rabbit get for Easter? . . . Eaten by a by a lion.

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what did the farmer say to the cowgirl that made her positive that she had a weird laugh? you have a weird laugh.

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Guess what's funny? People voting for their own Anti joke.

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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A guy walks into a bar. Yep.. that's it.

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why is nick a dumb ass? because hes not a smart ass

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What is the difference between obama and a hobo. NOTHING

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What did spongebob say to patrick? Im ready! im ready!

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Why did the black man walk into the white house? Cause he lives there because he is our president

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A paralysed man falls over.

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Yes and no, you would have ruined what is beautiful yet different within your soul.

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Stevie Wonder has put on a lot of weight since the 70's. I feel really bad for him because he can't watch what he eats.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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