Q) 1+1=? A) 6.

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Q) why did jimmy kick the bucket. A) Because his dad is an alcoholic and Beats him to the point of near death, so He takes his anger out by kicking anatomit Objects such as a bucket.

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What did the muffin say to the oven? Obviously nothing since neither one can talk.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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How do you get a Black Person out of a tree? Well, if he is stuck call 911 itmediatly!

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Why did the boy go swimming in the ocean? He didn't. the current pulled him in and he drowned.

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why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

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What's better than winning the lottery? Winning it twice.

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what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

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Why was the middle-aged doctor morbidly obese? He liked bacon and was severely hypocritical.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

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Why won't Santa be delivering presents this year? Because he can't be bothered.

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When Santa got stuck up the chimney he began to shout.. But he didn't shout for long as he soon succumbed to the toxic smoke and died of carbon monoxide poisoning

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The number one killer of daredevil's is the ground.

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Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

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Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? with boomerangs

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What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

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What does the rubbish do when it is depressed? It breaks down.

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Q. Knock knock A. Who's there Q. DEEZ A. DEEZ who A. DEEZ NUTZ HA GOT EEEEEM

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why couldent Hellen Keller drive? Because shes a woman.

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Knock Knock .... Knock Knock .... Pum Pum Pum .... LAPD! open the door!

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what do you call a man without an umbrella? wet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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