I took your mother out to a fine seafood dinner. I never called her again.

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why did the Chinese guy take steroids? He didn't he's naturally small.

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This winter: "The seal is broken, as the spirits of hell go across the world, I can help you find them Clint! But only you can prevent them from killing your family!" "I will do whatever I must!" "Be careful, you can only see them with medication sample X, and destroy them with the super addictive Meladocs 5" "HOW DO I KILL THEM! I CANNOT HANDLE MORE MELADOCS 5! ITS ADDICTIVE AS HELL!" "Only you can save us Clint, only you can do this until their world malfunctions saving us all, but killing you in the process!" "I WILL... I CAN!... UGH... HOW MUCH LONGEEEEEEEEEEEEER!" THE PACKMAN: THE MOVIE.

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what do you call a guy that has a mouth, but cannot speak? a poor freshman who has been commanded by a Senior not to speak.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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You know why Michael J. Fox makes really good milkshakes? ... because he uses the best ingredients

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Q: Hey, ask me if I'm a tree. ".. Are you a tree?" A: No.

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Why did Superman not stop the planes on 9/11? He was quadroplegic.

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Your mom is so fat that she is at risk for type two diabetes.

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For anti-joke.com, there should be a section called "Hot" that shows new jokes which are given 5 thumbs up or up. This way we would get new jokes on the popular section instead of having the same ones for a very long time. I know this isn't a joke, but thumbs up if you agree.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Where is the bathroom, I need to go poo.

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What is the difference between baldness and boldness? The second letter.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

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Why was the kid crying? Cause he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What do you call a white hankerchief dipped into the red sea? Wet.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Black guy. Due to your skin tone I feel you may cause potential danger to me and my family, so for that reason I will not allow you to enter my home.

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A fish swims up your penis...

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What's blue and smells? A dead girl guide.

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when there's trouble lurking in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call? The local authorities.

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So a man rapes a little girl but rips her eyes out before he does it. In court he said the appropriate thing about this was that she could not see it cuming.

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Ben: do you want to hear a joke. jack: yh go on then, i bet its funny. Ben: Your future.

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What do you call a black man who works in a ice-cream truck? A Ice-Creem Man

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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In your case, maybe because it is time to stop thinking so much, and begin living life, if the world cannot appreciate a wise man such as yourself, maybe that man should stop being wise, and begin being happy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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