Nippies

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whats 2+2? gonorrhea.

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A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

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A: Knock Knock B: Who's there? A: The Police. We have a warrant for your arrest.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

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What did the white man say to the black man? Hi i'm Steve, it's nice to meet you

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politically correct!

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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How did the Mexican got into the USA? Trough the border.

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Whats brown, large, thick, and sticky? a stick

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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roses are red,violets,are green who tf shit in the toilet?

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The woman says : OMG I am so hung over!! The man next to her has Terrible tourertts turns around and shouts I want my to make them hung over your face, her then moves away and rapes a apple of which he is eating, the woman turns around and dies as she has a brain tumor

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Roses are red violets are blue im a schizophrenic and i am too.

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What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Jovan

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A: Knock, knock A: Knock, knock A: Um, knock, knock! B: Sorry, I was pretending that I wasn't home.

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What is the delicate way to start talking about your penis? ...that wasn't it.

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Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

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what do you call a fish with no eyes fsh

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Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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