Have you seen Helen Keller's back porch? Neither did she.

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Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

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Why Do cats purr when you pet them? I'm actually asking a question there I don't know why.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to touch the goats beard

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock knock. I've got a gun. Knock kn [*BANG!*] [L]

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Rachel not blowing Robert.

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Why couldn't little Jessica open the door? It was locked

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what did the Nazi do when his Jewish rabbit died? silly Nazi rabbits don't have religion

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your mother is a well respected woman in society and makes delicious cookies.

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how do you make a baby float? you take your foot off its head

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer

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Its Erron, listen, we got to talk, I do not mind your pictures, but I am not going to call you because of that weird spot on your face, its just 101 basics here, I suggest you shut down the access to this site to the rest of your employees, this might get very personal.

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What did the smurf say to the other smurf? Smurf

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why did the little boy fall over? he was hit in the face by a salmon.

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what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

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What's the difference between a black guy and a picnic table? Many things, really. Beginning with simple structural features such as the number of legs, of which there happen to be four on a generic picnic table, and two on a human being. One might observe that a typical african american male is between 5'8" and 6'2" in total length, whereas a picnic table, being made to support 6-8 people will generally be slightly longer. A black guy will generally be pictured standing upright. A picnic table is usually horizontally laid out upon a flat surface. The former is living or dead, the latter is usually nonliving, processed wood or metal. The former may move about from day to day of its own accord, the latter is completely stationary, and indeed very difficult to relocate, etc.

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How do you kill a black man? You drop a fridge on him.

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how do you annoy people? make statuses from anti-joke.com

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Ring ring yes.This is doctor steve and we got our test results and it seems that you'r son has butinites and you'r kind sytoms are nothing because he is just an ass.

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A: How much do you love me? B: Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. A: But, it's morning. B: Exactly.

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What do you call a Black pilot? A pilot! What else would you call him, racist!

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Why are there so many jokes about germans on Anti-Joke? Because the Germans epitomize the flavour of anti-jokes perfectly and they have the whole nazi history thing going on which is ripe ground for many an anti-joke

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A dog.

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A sheep goes up to to a horse and asks "Does you speak sheep?".The horse replies ''Neigh''.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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