Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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Oh...okay, good.

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Dear People who are reading this, I am seriously considering suicide. My Mom beats me and my Dad rapes me in the butthole until i bleed. I have no friends and the only way i get my nut off is if it is into a napkin. I often put peanutbutter on my ballsack and have my dog lick it off. It is the only time that i am happy. I have the gun to my head right now and if you wanna talk me out of it. I live in Lincoln, Nebraska. My number is (402)713-9565. Hurry before i run out of time...... and tears. Sincerely, Adam Claypool

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My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poetry

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Who made it down the cliff first the blonde or brunet? The brunet, the blonde had to stop for directions

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What do you call a person without a heart? Not alive.

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Together we can get theist likes on anti-jokes :)

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What's worse then ten dead babies in a barrel? The one at the bottom is still alive.

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How do you catch a squirrel? Use a live, humane trap, and release it back into the wild afterwards.

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What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

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Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

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A walks out of a bar and the joke is cut off by a-

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The Police then give the S.W.A.T team the signal, and bust down the door and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door is Carlos Pedrojeuz, a serial killer, meth addict who has been a part of the sex slave trade for a decade. One might think of answering the door next time.

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Have you ever noticed how those little packets of sweetner are really handy to have around when you like your coffee to be sweeter than its default bitterness?

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What do you call a Mexican who steals a car? A criminal.

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Why aren't there any black flesh-colored bandages? Good question.

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Why did Hitler kill himself? Cause he couldn't afford to pay the gas bill.

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What is the difference between a pizza and the Jews? The pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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Why did the swing fall off the girl? I have dyslexia

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Why is the moon gray? Why is it not?

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A blond is walking down the street when she is suddenly mugged and raped. She reports her attacker but he is never found.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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