What did Delaware? A coat.

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A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

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Bill: Heydidyouknowlosersaywhat Donny: What? Bill: Loser

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JOHN to MARY: Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet So are you MARY to JOHN: Roses are red Violets are blue Who are you? JOHN to MARY: Roses are red I'm your husband MARY to JOHN: No! JOHN to MARY: WHAT??? MARY to JOHN: Ex Awkward silence. Mary moves out the next day.

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I have a dig bick You that read wrong You read that wrong too You read that again to make sure I'm not fucking with you

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Did you hear about the Dislexic Devil worshipers? They sold their soul to Santa.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

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An Asian, a white man and a black man were running in a race. The Asian won and the black man came second due to his lack of training and motivation over the past couple of months.

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Why did the man loose his balls? he had testicular cancer and had to get them removed.

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Yo mama's so fat when they asked her if she wanted fries with that she said yes

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q: Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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What gas station can u make a Kwick trip at? Kwick trip

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Pickle

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

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What two states don't have running water? Solid and gas

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was very scary.

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So there is 10 Nazis and a monkey the rest doesn't matter but i farted...

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How do you keep Helen Keller distracted? Find a stimulating device that blind and deaf people can operate correctly.

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whats red, white, and blue? idk go ask the president

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the shed I'm gonna screw you

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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Most of men think: the bigger dick they have, the more pleasure they can give to woman. Most of women don't thinks so, becouse they haven't got a dick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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