Q: What do you call a white sheet on the floor? A: A ghost costume, dirty laundry, or carpet are all perfectly adequate answers.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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I once did __________ (went to Hawaii, drank a whole gallon of beer, etc. ), but then I woke up. Works with anything, and people will laugh.

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Okay lord and master, now get lost, I am trough with you, I have other things to get done, XD My nose is so itchy XD

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How many lollipops does it take to shingle a dog? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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Why couldnt the girl ride her bike? becuase she was dreaming she actually doesnt have a bike her family is poor in these hard economic times.

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You know what's sad and Funny? When a guy walks into a gay bar and doesn't get hit on.

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I love you, you love me. Barney is fat and not entertaining.

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Women Sports.

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12 niqqa 12.

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Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

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Why did Betty fall out of the tree? Because she was dead! ????

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a chicken walks into a cafe, where it is swiftly caught, killed, plucked ,and served with stuffing and all for £5.99

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A man sits down to dinner with his wife And she notifies him that their 8 year old son just died

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Two people walk into Israel. The first is shot on the spot. The second screams "I only have two pennies in my pocket!" Immediately he is raped by five Jews.

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U know what they say about big shoes? Big socks

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

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Don't tell anyone, the Health Department is already on our backs.

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Why did the Flintstones have Christmas? The Flintstones celebrated Christmas because the creator, William Hanna, celebrated it. As it is a kids TV show, you can't expect it to be factually correct.

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Why did the all the fish in the lake die? A pesticide bioaccumulated through the food chain.

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What did the man say to the other man. Hi

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks then comes home to his whole family murderd and mutilated

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Why are there no Mexican people on Star Trek? Because the casting director screened thousands of actors and actresses and assembled what he/she felt was the most talented cast to create and sustain a long running television series. Unfortunately no one of Mexican dissent was awarded a role.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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