a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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Why doesnt your dad like barrack Obama? because your dad is straight, hes not into men

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Just gonna stand there and watch me roar. But that's alright because I am a dinosaur.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? THE CHICKEN!

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Hey! i just thought of the funniest joke! okay so it goes like this: A man was walking down the street and saw a bar... he walked in and.... yeah, thats about it.....

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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I like your hair

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Thumbs this up

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What has four wheels and can fly? A flying car What else has four wheels and can fly? Another flying car

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Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

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Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

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How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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A man walks into a bar, the other man ducks.

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God wrote this joke.................................

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Why did the Flintstones have Christmas? The Flintstones celebrated Christmas because the creator, William Hanna, celebrated it. As it is a kids TV show, you can't expect it to be factually correct.

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What did Anne Frank do this weekend? Nothing. she died in the holocaust.

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What is brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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What did the dog say to the cat? I don't know actually

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A man eats a piece of fried chicken A chicken that was days before retirement and had a pregnant wife and two children to look after

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Why was a black man running in the street with my wallet in his hand? Because he saw me dropping it and was trying to reach me to give it back.

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A Mexican, A Caucasian and An African American walk into a bar. Suddenly, a rival of the African American's pulls up in a used Chevrolet and shoots him 6 times with a semi-automatic handgun. The Mexican and Caucasian are distraught and call 911 immediately. The rival is later arrested and found guilty of murder in the first degree by a jury of his peers. Less than 6 months later, the bar is closed due to the negative stigma surrounding the shooting. Urban life is a harrowing and tough experience that most outsiders will never fully understand.

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what happens when a girl poops? she wipes her butt.

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roses are red and violets are blue and i was going to write something that rimes but that is not funny here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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