What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

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Why couldn't Horton hear a who? He was a loaf of bread.

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What is a dog's favorite color? Dogs are colorblind and can not see colors.

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I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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Q: What's so special about my Ferrari? A: It was painted with babies

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What colour are blackberries? Purple.

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Juggling lions and breast feeding.

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A bra walks into a dyslexic man.

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Why was the girl crying when she got home? She got raped and mugged on the walk home

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Quess what the trash man did today? He took my trash.

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

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What happened when the zombie walked into the blonde lady convention? He went home hungry.

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A man suffering from terminal cancer walks into a bar and orders a soda because his doctor advised him not to drink. The bartender and others in the establishment are completely unaware of his disability.

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Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have multi-personality disorder. Patient: Which one of us?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am disabled, so please help me poo.

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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The guys Joke above me is funnier^.

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I walked into a bar and it hurt because it was metal

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What do you all a dead black man? A corpse.

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I slipped and fell in the shower today. Good thing my dad caught me

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Why did Oliver fall? He shot himself.

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A chronic hemophiliac walks into a bar. He cuts his leg and bleeds to death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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