A man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "What's up?" The man replies, "The opposite of down."

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? They are different species... do i really need to explain the difference??

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Three men went out for a night on the town, one had too much to drink and was forced to take a cab home.

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How come Jimmy didn't take his math test? Dead babies can't take math tests!

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Patients: Whats happening doctor Doctor: I am afraid you all have tested positive Patients: Oh No!!! Doctor: Positive for being great friends all these years! Patients: Oh Doctor you are so.... Doctor: ASWELL AS AIDS!!!

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Why was it okay for the people in the hospital to laugh at the narcoleptic patient? It wasn't. The patients were treated because of moral obligations, but the doctors that laughed were either fired or warned, depending on if they had previous reports of exploitation of patients.

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What's worse than kissy face pictures on facebook? The porn pictures on facebook.

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What happened to the orphan who ate a sandwitch? She got hit by a whale!

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What do fruits and computers have in common. Microsoft.

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Your momma's so fat, when Jesus said, "Let there be light!," she had to scoot over.

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what do you call a black man in a police car? A police officer

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knock knock

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WTF? If you look at life from the right, you might just see whats left, and just then I looked down at the midget as he said "Yo whats up?" I told him, hey do you like left? He said! DAAAAAMN RIIIIIGHT! I spent a while just standing there wondering what the hell was happening into my life, it was so right it was left and wrong... NeroMetal (No fucking idea what Neronism is, I just play streetfighter V and type books that confuse people)

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Hello penis

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Ask me if i'm a fish. Are you a fish? Do I look like a fish?

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What's blue, wriggles around, and sits in a corner? A dying baby in a plastic bag. What's green, doesn't wriggle around, and sits in a corner? A Christmas tree. The current homeowners were never made aware of the atrocity committed by the previous occupants.

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How many immature teenagers does it take to change a light bulb? Ya mum.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How do you tell a clown his fly is open? Say sir your fly is open. Then beat him with a pipe until you cant tell what used to be his face.

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why did the boys run from Michael Jackson? because they thought he was a ghost

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Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? He was tired of working for the man.

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a man was shot.... he died

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what is the difference between a black person and a picnic bench? A picnic bench can support a family.

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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