So much with being an author... You with the Feds? The CIA?

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-What's the worst part about killing a baby? -Probably either recieving the death sentence or living psychologically scarred in prison for life.

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Did you know, that every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes?

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Person 1:"Knock Knock" Person 2: Whos there.... Wait why did you literally say the words "Knock Knock" Person 1: I have no idea

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Billy. Billy who? Billy your next door neighbor, I need to borrow some sugar. Ok, come in.

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Q: What do you call a black hitchhiker? A: A hitchhiker

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken. How do you get a baby to run faster? Chase it with the lawn mower. What do you get when you cut a baby with a straight razor? An erection. What do you get when you put a dead baby in a blender? Hold on. I'll tell you in a second. What's pink and spits? A baby in a frying pan. -S

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what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Obviously.

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I am going to school I live in Ohio, but I'm at Germany How do I do it? I'm a blonde, nobody knows

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How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? No Neither has he.

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what makes a knight in shining armor a knight in shining armor? he has to have armor and be a knight.

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Why was it sad for black guys drove off a cliff? There two more seats

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Your mom is so ugly that you should buy her a paper bag to cover her face because she is just so very unattractive that it burns mine and everyone else's eyes.

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What do you call a black man with a gun? A police officer.

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How do you survive a plane crash?? You don't

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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How many ADD teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? Most likely only one. With advances in modern medicine, adolescents are experiencing large improvements in their abilities to focus on things from schoolwork to lightbulb changing!

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Why didn't the restaurant serve the black man? He hadn't ordered anything.

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What do you call two Ethiopians standing side-by-side? Friends

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what starts with b and ends with itch pickle

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Yo mama's so fat that when she stepped on a scale, she saw her ex-boyfrien's phone number!

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Where did susie go after the explosion? everywhere. What was susie after the explosion? a puzzle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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