Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left his fence open and the chicken happened to cross a road.

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Why was the little girl sad? Why???? Because an elephant stamped on her, and shat on her.

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Why cant penguins fly? because they cant

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Why is Michael J. Fox so good at shake-a-weight? He is in shape.

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Why didn't the bear go snowboarding? It was hibernating

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Whats blue and fuzzy? blue fuzz.

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What did the tomato say to the ketchup? Nothing both vegetables and condiments are inanimate objects, therefore cannot speak

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What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

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You know how I felt about Nero, no way id ever date anyone but you, back then that is. Fine I will come along, I bet you left the base at "point zero" without the information he left, you have not changed a bit Seth, always too impulsive for your own good, but Nero was always like that and that, turned out, well damn. Tell me first, if you come get me, how much have you really changed mentally from the last time we met? You sincerely sound like a psychopath and I could use a shoulder to cry on rather than be escorted to some sick torture dungeon thing. I gather you are not far away, could you please get over here asap? I do not care about more than the standard code anymore, you have not changed much, except you are a deranged psychopath now, I get it, in your place I think id do the same, I have no idea how bad Nero was doing when you found him, and I sure as hell dont want to know.

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TEAM Together Everyone Argues More

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What's the worst part about eating a dead baby? It's a tie between the smell, the taste, and the depression associated with whatever decline in humanitsy that has brought you to this point in your life. Overall, it's an outright terrible situation.

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Why did the scarecrow win the nobel prize? Cos he was out standing in his field!

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What are jews without the holocaust? Alive

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

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what do you call a boomerang that never comes back? stick

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Why was the boy crying? Because he got hit by a bus. Why did he get hit by a bus? Because his mom was laughing. Why was his mom laughing? Because she was driving the bus. Why was she driving the bus? Because the boy fell off a swing. Why did he fall off a swing? Because he didn't have any arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because his diabetic monkey had the flu. Why did his diabetic monkey have the flu? Because the boy was crying.

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Why did the man cross the road He didn't, he died after being hit by a car

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Roses are red, my name is Dave. This poem makes no sense, microwave

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What do you call a Muslim that walks onto a plane? A passenger

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So you go home and get on the computer. You have no internet so your stuck playing pinball.

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Why is the Asian 2nd grader sad? Her best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has 3 weeks to live.

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What's the time when black men take over? Poor past never.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue when I saw you what the heel are you

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry Show me your tits

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops