whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

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Me:hey paul did you see that story on the news? Paul:ya i did thats really crazy!

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if Ruddell was gay what would he be? A gay prick!

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars...except for the duck

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Three men walk into a bar they suffer permanent brain damage, and completely lose their basic cognitive abilities. They will never be able to speak to one another again.

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More mindfuck "government hypnosis edition": What can doctors possibly do in order for you to wait enough for them to come to help you? They call you "their PATIENT!" Moral: So be patient and wait, oh thee brainwashed.

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why did the car drive off the cliff? The driver was a potato...

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Jesus wept.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? The police, please open the door.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

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What do you call a black man in a police car? Officer.

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Ya know what's funny? A joke well-told by a professional comedian.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your Grandmother died.

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how do women get from the kitchen to the bedroom? they walk there.

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Jack and jill Went up the hill To go smoke Some marijuana Jack got high Unzipped his fly And asked jill "Do you wanna?" Jill sais "yes" Pulled up her dress And things got real fun But silly jill Forgot the pill And now they have a son

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When life gives you lemons, you should be wondering how "life" managed to give you those lemons.

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The NBA and womens sports

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

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Why did the stoner cross the road? He didn't. He was stoned

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why was the boy laying on the ground? he got shot in the head

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A boss walks into a bar and hires the first man he sees. He fires everyone else, no matter what their occupation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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