Yo mamma's so fat she has her own zip code!!! :) Well... the actual reason is she is filthy rich and her house is so big that it takes up a bunch of room, and now that im talking about her i really wanna be her even though shes fat!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many dead babies will fit in a bathtub? Seventeen

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a puppy with no limbs? It doesn't matter, he's never coming back.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are grey, Violets are grey. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Did you know that I can't talk any louder than this... Exept when I can

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a black Jew that is also a crippled midget with no family except for an autistic brother? His original name that his mother gave him at birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

hi. thats what she said.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the girl go to the hospital? She had an asthma attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a black guy who is selling drugs? A pharmacist.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,153

You're so black that other black people make fun of how black you are.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the boy cry when he got a new puppy? Because he had anal seepage coming out his ass

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you do to someone you hate very much? You kill them.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you get when you come across a blonde. Depression, because you want to do her, but you know that will never happen cause you spend to much time sitting on your ass looking at anti-jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What's the difference between a Justin Beiber concert and a hedgehog? With a hedgehog, the pricks are on the outside, but in a Justin Beiber concert, the pricks are on the inside.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Tony Romo

thumb_up thumb_down +7

how are a ferrari and a pile of dead babies similar? neither are good to have in your garage when the police come.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was black

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the deer cross the road? It didn't, the animal species is incapable of having a logical reason to possessing the will to cross a road. ruhtard

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops