3 out of 5 smokers die And apparently the other 2 become immortal

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. Why? A. To get to the other side. A. Knock, Knock. B. Who's there? A. The chicken.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their newborn child.

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Why did the girl miss her date? She got killed.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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Whats green and smells like bacon................. Green bacon

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Whats the best part about being alive? Not getting hit by a bus

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Yesterday I told a chemistry joke. There was no reaction.

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I accidentally solicited a prostitute today. I was driving in an iffy neighborhood and saw a woman on the sidewalk, so I stopped to ask if she could give me directions. She must have misheard me.

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whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

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A muslim man takes a flight to New York. He lands safely at JFK airport.

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Why did a Jewish man have no hair left? He recently got a haircut.

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What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup? One of them involves the killing of an intelligent animal and the other involves the harvesting of seeds from a non-sentient plant.

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Q. What's smarter then the smartest woman in the world? A. A retarded seal, or pretty much anything else.

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Why do Mexicans stink? Because they're Mexican.

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If life throws you melons, either catch them or get out of he way to avoid injury.

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Yeah, it makes sense if you think about it, I changed my alias back and forth from Axel Knight, to Axel White, first because Axel White sounded not only as a opposite to Nero, but also because it sounded like something a Nazi leader would call himself, we went renegade and used that in order to draw in and bust a lot of Neo Nazi`s with enough money and bad intentions to make bad stuff happen. But thats another story, I heard about an Axel Knight partaking in Point Zero, had I known you where the leader (I hope you are being honest friend) I would have warned you much sooner, but there was no way for me to know if you where working together... Since you literally where.

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What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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What did the father tell his son who was caught stealing from the teacher? --The father didn't say anything because he walked out on his family when the children were born.

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Your Black, Im Black, We're all Black

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these jokes are not funny but there funny because there not funny aaaaaaaa pissing me off

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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WHat did REAAAALLLY Jesus say when, walking on, wat, er?, Will somebody please get me of this floating piece of ice? Please? Stop screaming HALLELUJAH! People: HALLELUJAH!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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