What is green, brown, has four legs and would kill you if it fell on you from out of a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his failing marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Knock knock? Who's there? A Jehovah's Witness. Oh. Knock knock? Who's there? Not me!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats worse than a dead baby two dead babies what could be worse than that? constapation

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What does the orphan say to its parents? nothing, orphans dont have parents

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 had a lot of PCP went crazy and shoved a gun down 6's throat

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why didn't the bully beat up the nerds? His mom got arrested for molestation and his dad got sent to Afganistan so he was too depressed to beat them up.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whats the difference between a brick wall and a jew? jews wear yamakas

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why couldn't Timmy go to the bathroom? He was constipated.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the Asian father want his son to be a doctor? because he wants his son to live good life so he could have a loving family and a payable job.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the new born on the orphanage's doorstep? He was an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What happened when the blind man reached for his soda? He picked it up, took a sip, and placed it back down where it was and continued with what he was doing.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What happened as a result of the bitter terrorist attack? The president began to devise a plan to help the abused child

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock! Who's there? John.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the boy dad? Because he was taken advantage of by an older woman during ovulation and impregnated her.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Link ate ink to make him sink.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the duly oppressed individual where sunglasses? Because the sun was bright.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town? Look, here comes Tarzan! What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town with sunglasses on? Nothing. They don't recognize him.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

While driving at night, a man accidently runs down a young child. Devastated, he runs out of the car and begins to break down. He screams up at the sky "Why God? Why?". And God says nothing, because he's not real.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why is a chicken coupe, a coupe not a sedan? Because a sedan would have four doors.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops