Woody Allen once said, "I have had many romantic relationships in my life that were both complex and humorous."

Why was the little girl crying? She got raped by a giant scorpion.

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

Why did the grandma stop baking cookies? Because she is an aging widow suffering from depression because her family seems to forget her existance as she barely lives day by day wilting in her 1 bedroom home.

What do you call a pig standing on its back legs? Yo mama

What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

Knock Knock Whos there? Me Me who? Oh sorry forgot you had alzheimers :/

I hate you.

Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? " I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

Good for him. Thats wonderful!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? BECAUSE HE WAS DEAD.

There are 263 birds on a fence, a farmer shot 1 how many are left? 0 the rest flew away.

A rabbi and a nun walk into a bar. They grab a drink and really hit it off despite their differences. After a couple years of happy dating, the rabbi, Mark, preposes. Gloria, the nun, gladly accepts. After four months, Gloria is pregnant. She dies in childbirth. The child has many illneses and dies within a week. Mark commits suicide.

What happened when man put a dog in the blender? He got arrested for Animal abuse

why did the mexican choose to work as a landscaper instead of at taco bell? landscaping pays much better and was a more practical decision in this economy to support his family of 13.

Large 4

Behind every fat girl is a beautiful woman. No, seriously. Get out of the way.

A man walks into a doctors office and waits for his turn. After his name was called he walked up to the doctor and told him that he kept having hallucinations. The doctor prescribed an antibiotic to help with the mans addiction to LSD.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

A man walks into bar. Which is no surprise as he'd been drinking heavily and his spacial awareness was poor at the best of times.

I don't like movies. Because ticket prices are overwhelming.

How do you blindfold an Asian person? With a blindfold

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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