roses are red violets are blue , but i would't know that because u never bring me flowers, you bastard .

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A blonde a brunette and a ginger jump off a cliff they die upon impact and their families mourn for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 and 7 are non-living objects and cannot show fear or anger.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock. I said who's there? Knock Knock. WHO THE FUCK'S THERE, GODDAMNIT? Knock Knock. PLEASE STOP IT STOP IT OH GOD STOP IT Knock Knock SWEET DEAR JESUS GOD CHRIST STOPSTOPOHGODSTOPITNOW Knock Knock. FORGODSSAKECOMEIN. Hello, Mark. Oh, hi, Steven.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

There once was a mathematician, a physicist and an engineer in a room without an exit. The ceiling catches fire. They all die.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

DESERT

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Sally fall out of the tree? Because She had no arms or legs... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Knock-Knock? Who's There? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Its December 21, 2012. You are still alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A blind guy walks into a bar because he can't see.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What mouse walks on 2 legs, Micky mouse. What duck walks on 2 legs, All ducks you dip shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

So Mel Gibson walks into a bar, and then everyone left.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

i said "what what in the butt, i said what what in the butt?"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

pady irish man paddy english man and paddy african man go on a magic slide wat ever you say will be at the bottem paddy irish man said gold paddy english man silver paddy african man almost fell off so he said shit buthalf way down he thought it was fun so he said wee

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you get when you shoot 3 cute kittens that have just walked into the house? 3 dead kittens

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did the american say to the other american? get out of the way i gotta go to mcdonalds!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did greg come to America? Because he wanted visit the states

thumb_up thumb_down -32

why am I writing this...im bored

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats big, round, and full of helium? Michaels Balloon head!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

You are the most beautiful person in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops