Hitler has a certain "genocide-quaw" about him

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My girlfriend once told me " Life is like a penis, it's hard."

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How do you get a one armed Pollack out of a tree? Hold his family at gunpoint.

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In the middle of a long flight from Heathrow to Chicago O'Hare, the passengers of a 747 watched the engines all suddenly flame out. "Now, folks," the captain said over the PA as the plane plummeted to the earth, "I want it on record that I said it in plain English: a 747 can't fly from Heathrow to Chicago without refueling." No one bothered writing it down.

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Whats the same about a Mole and an Eagle? They both live underground, I lied about the Eagle.

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why did the monkey cross the road? it escaped from a local zoo a block away

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Whats cooler than being cool in High School? Nothing, now take a hit...everyone's looking

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What happened when the wife refused to make her husband a sandwich? Since he was paralyzed from the neck down, he starved to death.

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Q: what do you call a man that see's a unicorn A: hallucinating

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whats worse than having that Holocaust joke be the best anti-joke for months? Windows updates

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roses are red violets are blue get to close to me ill have to give aids to you!

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Whats fleash color flesh color and fleash color? a hodo rolling down a hill.

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what's worse than finding out god isn't real? finding out he is

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Once upon a time, The end.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its dopaminergic neurons fired synchronously across the synapses of its caudate nucleus, triggering motor contractions propelling the organism forward, while emitting 'cluck' distress signals, to a goal predetermined by its hippocampal road mappings.

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Were did Suzie go after the bombing? A: everywere

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No, I do not have the will, I have a family now, I make a living writing fiction, and well, play a small role in keeping not national, but worldwide stability in such things as the economics. The thing is, that you are renegades, you do not break the law, but you like to do things your own way, that gets you enemies among the so called "paragons" in the face of society and media. Its just like back in the days, if CIA, The Feds, Interpol and such are known as the "Paragons of civilization" or "the good guys" if you prefer, they can point towards you guys, and say "these are evil", and then nothing can stop them.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

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She likes her sex like she likes her penises. Without a woman.

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What's red and checkered and tells you to turn your music down? Michael

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Type better antijokes above

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Why wouldn't Jimmy ever eat his vegetables at dinner? As a young boy, Jimmy watched as a robber entered his house, suffocated his mother by clogging her airway with a cucumber, and escaped with their life savings.

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A Jew walks into Macy's

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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