I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double. The bartender brought out a guy who looked just like me.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What couldn't the Asian drive? Because he had just gotten laser eye surgery, and the doctor recommended that he didn't drive for a few days.

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A man goes into a bar and gets drunk. He realizes that he is too drunk to drive and calls a cab to bring him home.

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HARRY EFFING STYLES

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A Jew walks into a bar, he buys it.

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroying his family.

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What do you call a Mexican baptism? A blessed occasion.

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One time at band camp, I advanced my clarinet skill, which led me to have a good life.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

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Q: Knock - Knock A: NO SOLICITORS!

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What happens when you read every anti-joke on anti-joke? You spend a lot of time in front of a screen. This means you should have a 10-15 minute break, so that your sinuses can rest and you don't develop a headache.

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How do you stop a canadian from saying eh? Kill it...

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Why does LeBron James keep his phone on vibrate? Because he is often in the company of others and he does not want a ringtone to distract others from the current topic of discussion.

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Why did the kid drop his football? He had a heart attack

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Youre mom is so dead...

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What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

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what did the old lady die of old age...

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A princess kisses a frog to transform it into a prince.. She is soon arrested for committing bestiality

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What's similar about a black person and an apple? Nothing, an apple is a fruit. It has nothing to do with hanging from trees.

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All of these jokes are about white people

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was mentally retarded and didnt know any better.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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