Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I t was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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A blind man cant see this joke, so I probably shouldnt write it..

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An Asian oceanographer went scuba diving in the Pacific Ocean. Three days later the coast guard found his remains torn apart by sharks.

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What's red and sticky A DEAD BABY

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What notes does the tightrope-musician have to worry about? They probably have to concentrate generally harder than the average musician in order to produce any correct, good quality notes.

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i used to take arrows to the knee,til i took one to the balls.

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if two couples walk down the street, when do they die? when a pack of rabid dogs eats them.

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What did the monkey say to the lion? I'm being sexually abused by my handler, and feel so violated.

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Why did the boy not turn in his homework? Because his pet ate it.

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How do you kill a bolonde? You have her/him do an algebra problem.

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Why was Eight in court? He was involved in Nine's horrifying disappearance.

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What's the difference between a nickel and a dime? Five cents.

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Two goldfish are sat in a tank, one says to the other 'I forgot who you are' to which the other replies 'I forgot what you said'.

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My life is a dream in of itself.. inception???

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Roses are red, Violets are red, my eyes are bleeding

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A group of 3 black male friends sit down to have lunch at the basketball court. One black man reaches in his pack and pulls out a watermelon. The second black man reaches in his basket and pulls out some fried chicken and a pan of cornbread. They both look expectantly towards their friend as he opens up his pack. Right as he opens it, however, his cell phone goes off. Upon completing the call, he hangs up and looks at his two friends. "My financial aid got approved, guys!" he exclaims. Both of his friends congratulate him on finally making it to college. They are so proud.

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why did the girl cross the road? no one knows because she was hit with a car and died on impact.

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What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

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Q: What happened when three lions escaped from the zoo? A: Animal patrol came and tranquilized all three.. Unfortunantly one of the lions died from to much tranq.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Mom. Mom who? SHUT THE F**K UP AND OPEN THE DOOR!!!

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Q: What did the mentaly retarded kid get on his IQ test A: Drool

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his family died in a car crash

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I was walking through the woods the other day when I heard a rustle in the bushes... So I went over and said, "Russell, What are you doing in the bushes?"

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What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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