A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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Why did the man die? A fridge fell on him.

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Q: What's worse than seeing a scorpion A: being stung by that scorpion

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Knock Knock Who's There Ur Mom Ur Mom Who Ur Mom is Dead

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What did the lion say on a hot day in Africa? Nothing, lions can't talk.

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Q: How Do you make a baby be quiet? A: slowly chop it's head off with a blunted axe once it's head is off eat it

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why don't you make like a tree. and get out of here

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a chicken

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A black guy and a white guy are sitting in the bar. Later they will probably return to their respectable homes.

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Roses are white Violets are black I'm colorblind That is sad

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What did the boy born with cancer get for christmas? ... More cancer

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What's worse then 10 babies nailed to one tree? Nailed to 10 trees

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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what do you get when a white woman and black man have a child? either a girl or a boy

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what did the apple say to the orange, nothing fruits can't talk

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What's the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The anti-Joke isn't a freaking joke. So stop freaking doing it!

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Why do we bother living when someday we will die? To reproduce and watch TV.

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Who is the worst teacher ever? Mrs. Thompson

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What's worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

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I have two coins in my hand that add up to 30 cents, and one of them is not a nickel. I accidentally dropped them.

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What do you call nacho cheese? Stolen.

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What do you call a Mexican who steals a car? A criminal.

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting thrown into the sun.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away Because no dog likes being called "hurrrrdhjkdhjsaklhdkhjkddssaduyiwqkhdbewcjk"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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