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This week only, 2 for 1 misdemeanor shop lifting arrest. How can I do it? Because I can.

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhoea

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because it thought that it would somehow increase its chances of survival.

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What happened to the man who sat outside in the sun too long? He died of skin cancer.

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Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

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which is faster a) ferrari b) beetle a ferrari

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What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run, 'cause she's got a grenade in her mouth!

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Why isn't Abraham Lincoln on Mount Rushmore? Because he doesn't have a helicopter and he's dead.

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Women's Rights

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it lost Consciousness.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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hello there i am a male from the small town of balamory and i have just found a very large oblong with an acute right angle strongly attached to the left hand side........do you think i should hand it to the new york extra torestial services ?

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A black man walks into a bar. It turns out he is a notorious serial killer and he procedes to violently murder everyone in the bar.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Nick!" Because he knows him and is not racist.

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Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

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What do a plum and a small bunny have in common? There both purple except for the bunny.

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A black and a mexican jump off a building, What a tragedy...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because he had legs.

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What if there were no hypothetical questions?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, now so do you.

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When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops