An Irishman, a Zimbabwean and a South African walk into a bar... oh wait, it's just the English cricket team.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I want seaman but sex with interracial men body builders. Please call me - 843-813-2788

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why couldn't the blonde have children? She had pelvic inflammatory disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Your mom is so fat that it's becoming a serious health concern...

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Roses are red violets are blue I have alziemers banana cookie!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What happend to the Jew when he was near the fire place He very carefully tended to it

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A three-legged prostitute, a coal miner, and R. Kelly walk into an all-midget rendition of Stravinsky's Rite of Spring. The miner has a heart attack and dies. The concubine and the vocalist do nothing to help.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's black and shouldn't have the right to vote? Ants

thumb_up thumb_down -25

what is big round and fat? Your MOM

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the homeless black guy write on his sign? need money for weed.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what do you call a cross between lasagna and a human. weird

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the old man catch at a baseball game? Aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock Knock. Who's there? Mark Mark who? Mark Jennings. Oh hey, Mark, come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is the greatest lie ever? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Knock Knock. Who's There? Orange. Orange Who? No, this is Homeland Security. We have raised the current terrorism threat level to Orange, which means there is a high risk of terrorist attacks. Please report any suspicious behavior.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What has four legs, but cannot walk? A giraffe with polio.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

would you rather harry styles my dick have harry styles suck my dick or both of you style on my harry dick?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the lamborghini drive off the cliff? Because the person driving was a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is the similarity between an elephant and a grape? Absolutely nothing. One is an animal, while the other is a fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you know when your dog is gay? When the dog starts wearing way to many Deep Vs and watches the Oxygen channel with "friends"

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Ask me if I'm a tree I don't need to, because I know you're not a tree

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the baby cross the road? A very uncaring parent left their infant outside. The unsupervised baby then crawled under the fence and began to head towards the road. When the baby began to cross the road, there were two cars coming from both directions. Luckily, they saw the baby and came to an abrupt stop. Unfortunately, when the baby made it to the other side, an eagle swooped down and snatched the baby, because it is a bird of prey. Fortunately, the child's life was spared by the eagle. The Department of Child Services showed up later only to confiscate the baby from the parents. The eagle wanted to adopt it, but it could not speak nor could it sign the legal documents because it was an eagle.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops