What do you call a 2 storied house ?

Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

What's faster, a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk

What's the difference between a black guy and a bench? A black guy is a living, breathing human being, and a bench is an inanimate object

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

What's the bright side of Jimmy only having one leg? There isn't one.

Mom I am so sorry I molested you yesterday. Im not your mom! Phew, wanna go out?

what was the first thing Barack Obama said to the people of america? ... hi

Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

What's worse than death? Nothing.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger....... unless it is a nonkiller disease that makes you extremely weak :D

A boy was crying. He had been abused and beaten by his parents, and thrown in his room. He was devastated, and wanted to kill himself. He tossed and turned in bed, and moaned himself to sleep. When he awoke, he felt a chill up his spine, noticing that all of his blankets had been torn off of his bed, leaving only him and his mattress. He open the window, and jumped out of his three story building. Luckily, his bedroom was on the first floor. He ran away, and found a rich family that loved him so much until a week later, a murderer came and killed everyone, including him.

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Fish.

your mother is so obese, that she really should look into eating a well balanced diet and taking part in an excercise plan that suits her

Illumati Confirmed

a grasshopper walks into a bar the bartender says hey we have a drink named after you the grasshopper says what dave?

Where's my tractor?

Did you know, that every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes?

Where's my tractor?

Roses are grey, violets are grey, I am color blind.

What did the man say to the atractive woman? Hi

Hey guys wanna here a joke? Never mind it was a gay joke but f**k it.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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