What's long and really hard? The fourth grade.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because people have encroached on it's natural habitat.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

so a baby seal walks into a club, the bouner immedietly kicks the seal out because it is too young to be in a club and also.....itsa seal

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the pie cross the road? I have no idea, why not ask it?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How many Grand Jurists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on if it was a cop that snuffed out the light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

thumb_up thumb_down +40

'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' Thats fantastic for Peter Piper

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What does the homosexual arab who plays football who has a best friend called Dave enjoy doing? Playing football.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Three children had stumbled into an old cottage where they were met by a wizard. The wizard pointed out a slide in the corner of his cottage. He told the children that they could each go down the slide and that they could shout out a word while sliding. He told them that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "GOLD" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of solid gold. Due to its extreme hardness the child was killed immediately on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

So there's a monkey in a bar. I forgot the rest of the joke but your moms a whore

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A Jew, an Atheist, and a Muslim walk into a bar. They each drink a bottle, have a conversation, and leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the mother do when she find out her daughter left for the party? Nothing. She realized her daughter was old enough to make mature descions.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you do when a black man points a gun at your face? you do what he tells you to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q. How do you make a chicken dance? A. I don't know I was asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the kid hide under the table? There was an earthquake.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What would Jesus do? Something that would in getting nailed to a piece of wood.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the US nuke japan besause sending chuck norris would be to cruel

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A blue whale walks into a bar. The bartender says "What can I get for you?" The blue whale says "EEEEEEYYYYYYYOOOOHHHHHMMMMMMM"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what is the difference of left and right? i used my right hand to stab your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Mary had a little lamb Little lamb Mary had a little lamb That Mary wanted to blow Because Mary was into beastiality

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the boy walking in circles? One of his feet was nailed to the floor...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops