Your momma's so fat, she's at risk of a number of cardio-vascular problems, including high blood pressure, leading to heart disease, stroke, type II diabetes, and a premature death. She also has an elevated risk of contracting cancer.

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow that's been chopped in half? Dead

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What do you call a mexican riding a lawnmower? Promoted

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How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer? Ask her.

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What's worse than not receiving presents on Christmas Day? Being forced to consume your own flesh

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he was raped.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Oh shit my gardens on fire

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What did batman do before getting into his batmobile? - Look for the keys.

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Why was the black man chasing the little girl? The black man was the adoptive parent of the little girl and they were playing tag.

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What's the difference between Elmo and Cookie Monster? One of them doesn't listen to Michelle Obama

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What is 69? A two digit number.

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What did Hitler say to Mussolini? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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What will ur wife say when she finds you in bed with a hore-s.

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Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? yea, neither has he.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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There's a tray of muffins in the oven. One muffin says, "man it's hot in here!" Another muffin says, "holy shit! A talking muffin!"

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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ask me if im a fence are you a fence WALNUTS!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven has a hook for one of his hands carries a chain saw in the other an gets into six's dreams...thats just scary

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why did susy fall off the swing? Cause she has no arms knock knock Who's there? not susy

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natalie wilson is a hilarious stripper

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A friend of yours tells you his version of The Aristocrats. You just wasted about 5-20 minutes of your life.

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If you live in the 'living' room, what do you do in the others? You die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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