What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fish, just because it has a disability it doesn't mean you can treat it any differently

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Helen got hit by a bus. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Helen!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue This line doesn't rhyme Neither does this one.

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Q:what do you do when a black guy is drowning A:you dont

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A spatial closet situates trolls beside the whistle.

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What glows in the dark and is really annoying? A glow in the dark chimpanzee

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what do you get when you come across a old dog with herpes, a fat man with herpes and an apple? you get nothing but the satisfaction of seeing such a horrific sight

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What's the difference between a rooster and a waffle iron? A lot.

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is this the krusty crab? no this is child services were taking your children.

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Where do drunk asians live? In their house or apartment with their families, who are concerned about his drinking.

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What's young and not funny? Todays anti-joke writers.

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How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

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jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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A Jew returns change.

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Whats worse than Lindsey Lohans vagina? Nothing.

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If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. Ask me if I'm a bush. Are you a bush? No.

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Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

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You know what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Because you touch yourself.

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy? Nothing. He's been dead for over three years.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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Why was Timmy's hair shaved? He had cancer and was going though Chemo.

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Here isa poem from a dog Roses are gray violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

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Why did Sally cry at the wedding? somebody shot her future husband.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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