What do you get when you cross a sheep with a lion? A dead sheep.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a tree on fire? A burning tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profit evenly.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What did the mime say to the crowd gathered at the crime scene? A:

thumb_up thumb_down +63

What did the white guy say when a black man punched him? Ow, i am sueing for assault. that is a crime

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why did Jen fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock who's there not Jen

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What said the first bagel to the other? A: Nothing! Bagels can't talk!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

if a chcken lays an eggg what happens? a baby bird comes out

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats so funny about the women bringing fast food home for her family? Nothing shes a single mother who does'nt have time to make food between her two jobs.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why'd the women leave the kitchen? her chain broke

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Superman wears chuck Norris pajamas Just kidding superman is a fictional character and is uncapable Of owning pajamas

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Forgiveness is what weaklings beg for, while redemption is what the strong succeed at.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why can no one in africa read or write? I would asume the lack of public education combined with the fact that setting up an education system for so many widespread remote comunities would be a logistical nightmare. But then again I have never been to africa and know little about the country and so the premise of this joke is probably a dramatic overstatement in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How Do You Solve A Impossible Math Question? You Dont. cause its impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

there was a blonde red head and black they were on misty mountain the black was the smartest so she jumped off and said bird flew like a bird the red jumped and said falcon and glided like a falcon then the blonde the dumb one tripped said oh crap turned into crap and wentt to the bottom and bursted

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's worse than having to watch your dad rape your mom? Having to watch your mom rape your dad.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like cows, Cows are cool

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Yo mama so fat,we are all very concerned for her health.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops