A hero is nice to everyone, but one person. who is that? Your mom. WOOOOOOOT!! YOU JUST GOT MUSCLEMANED!!!!

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Why do females have boobs? So they can breast feed their babies.

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Why did the school bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

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What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have multi-personality disorder. Patient: Which one of us?

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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Why are Jews always so clean? Because they never come out of the shower.

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What did the elephant say to the goldfish? Nothing. Animals are unable to speak and fish aren't able to live on land

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how did the kenyan get away from the cop He didnt he got arrested

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Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

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Why do dogs lick their balls? Why? Because they can.

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Slow and steady wins the race, But only in some cases. Mostly never.

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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

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teacher: what do you call a math book with no writing in it?! student: idk what? teacher: a notebook! student: ok... thanks

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Why did the man steal 2 watermelons? He was a shoplifter and had a background of crime

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I have cancer.

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What's brown and sticky? Most forms of excrement.

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A Man visits his Doctor because he is feeling slightly unwell.

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My nipple is bleeding

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

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why did the dog eat its breakfast of meat because he was hungry

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Why did the teenage boy touch himself at night? Because he was shot in the stomach by his drunken father and was trying in vain to stop the bleeding.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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