Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your doorstep? A: Whatever his name is.

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Q: What did the mime say to the crowd gathered at the crime scene? A:

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Q: What did the man ask the waiter when he was seated at Cracker Barrel? A: May I please have more golf tees?

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I was looking out the window on a Sunday morning. The coffee was fresh, and the air was moist. I had recieved a phone call last night on the contents of a briefcase that was to be left on my front door today. The explination was vague, and I was told to enjoy my last day. Then I died.

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Sex

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Q: Why do black people drink Grape Soda? A: Because it queches their thirst, and satisfies them.

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? "Uh... So, you're a farmer?"

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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I'm an old man with Alzheimer's. Ok I'm going to tell you a little story. Well i was walking down the road bout 36 sum odd years ago and the next thing i knew i was........... Hmmm.... i wonder whats in the fridge...

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What do you call two babys with one head? I dont know either, answers on postcard please!

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I hate long jokes -_-

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how do you make lady gaga cry you poke here face then rape here.

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What do Gay horses eat? Cheese.

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One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

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What did the fish say after he

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Roses are red, violets are black, you better watch your anus, cause jimmy is back!!

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How do you get a ninja to do a backflip? Ask him nicely.

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What do you call a horse standing alone in an empty field? Tesco's own Beef Lasagne.

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Why did the elephants get in a taxi? They were going to the airport.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick!

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Women deserve equal rights.

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Why was the monkey sad? Because somebody stole his banana. Why was the monkey happy? Because your parents are dead.

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Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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