Roses are brown Violets are brown Who shit in my garden

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Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone.

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Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

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How dou you find the population of mexico? Take a census....... By throwing a dime in the street!

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

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Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a gun.

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A black man, a Mexican man and a white man walk into a bank. The black man reaches into his bag and pulls out his bank card, the Mexican and the the white man do the same as they need to withdraw money.

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Can I touch it?

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Why the hell does my sister shower in a swimsuit every time? Its not as if anyone is looking! ALRIGHT! ONCE ALRIGHT? ONLY ONCE! But then she hears the sound of my zipper ONCE and the shit hits the fan! Which is weird, yeah suuure she hears it when I pull it up, but when I pull it down and stroke it and moan? Nada!

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Two guys go hunting and one of them aims the sniper at the other guy's house and says "I see your wife's cheating on you again with another man" he replies "I've had it with her, shoot him in the privates and shoot her in the mouth" the friend says "I'll get that in one shot".

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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"This is the best of all possible anti-jokes," said Pangloss.

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Dyslexics are teople poo

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Why did the black man buy a gun? because he wanted to go hunting.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm bored of this how about you?

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Why doesn't Lucinda have a penis? Because she's Mexican.

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Did you know that in Africa, every 60 seconds... A minute passes. So sad

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What did the homosexual farmer say when he answered the phone? Hello

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What did the turkey call the chicken? Nothing, turkeys can't speak, idiot.

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A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a canoe at him.

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What did the black kid get for his birthday?

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Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why the second koala fall out of the tree? because it was hit by the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? because it thought it was a game.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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