A:Whats the air speed velocity of a swallow? B:What an african or English swallow? A:Well I don't know that.

why was justin sad? his family was murdered

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your family have been involved in a fatal accident and we need you to come and identify the bodies.

Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

life is like a box of chocolates, it sucks if you have diabetes

What's worse than having to tie one of your shoelaces after walking 5 miles? Getting a 56 year old mixture of blood, urine and sperm injected in your asshole.

A man walks into a bar. He's black. Its 1962. He is immediately arrested.

What's orange and rhymes with a parrot. A carrot

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Blue fish occasionally consume large amopunts of the insides of oak trees.

What's a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

3 men walk into a bar. The 4th one ducks.

Whats worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple

Why did Timmy stay home on the day of the big test at the public school? He was homeschooled

What did nike say to addidas? Hi

Your mom is so stupid that... She often makes mistakes.

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah

One time I walked into a fat kid..

Why did the mother get upset with her son? Because he sexually experimented with his cousin.

What's white and black and red all over A nun with a spear throug her head

What happend to the murderer who ate people? He was sent to jail for a number of years and now is having work done to stop him from eating people

potato

Why did billy have a bruse? Because he got smacked with a belt. -Louis

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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