Knock knock! Who's there? Alan okay come in

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What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

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roses are red violets are dead honey is yellow and so is head

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How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

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Do the Helen Keller... become mute, deaf, and blind.

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Justin Bieber

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Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

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Q: What did the dog say to the owner when he took him to the vet? A: Nothing. It's a dog. It can't talk.

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What did Selena Gomez say to JB? We're breaking up cuz u smell like French fries and you look like a poop

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What Happens when you kill a dragon? Nothing, there not real.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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Why does Apple hate Blackberry? They don't fruit can be rivals.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because i shot him. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? he was in front of the monkey

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Q: What did the anorexic girl do for thanksgiving? A: Nothing, she was paralyzed from a fall 2 days prior and nobody had found her yet.

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Why was the black man in Jail? He works there as a correctional officer.

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Straight men can be bronies.

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Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

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A man walks up to a girl and says "Hello there" The girl doesn't respond because she has been deaf and blind for her entire life and doesn't know he is there. Potatoes.

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What did the midget say to the clown that was blocking the doorway? Excuse me

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Twelve men walk into a bar, and get stuck in the door because it's far too small for all of them to walk through at the same time.

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A cup of ranch walks into a lemon

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang-rape.

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Im black and want attention. I also love fried chicken and love Africa call for a good, African-American time..... Im black 4025406623

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Rose are brown, Violets are brown, Who keeps pooping in my garden?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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