If you have 12 apples and 7 oranges in one hand, and 9 apples and 10 oranges in one hand, what do you have? Very large hands.

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knock knock who's there? john john who? john opens his mouth only to be gunned down by a terrorist attack

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what do you call 4 terrorists going off a cliff in a car? A waist because you can fit 2 more in the trunk.

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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What's black,white, and red all over? Nothing, because if it is completely covered in red then it can only be red.

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Whats the difference between black and white. Nothing they're both colors.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a florist.

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A- knock knock B- whose there? A- Chuck Norris B- chuck norris who? A- are you retarded?

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Whats worse than getting mugged? Getting mugged twice.

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Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

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Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

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What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

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What's the difference between Hitler and Stalin? Nothing because pineapples aren't vegetables.

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A planes crashes on the US-Canada border. The survivors are promptly taken to a hospital nearby to be treated for their injuries.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

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Why couldnt the black man drink from the water fountain? Because the water fountain was broken.

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What's worse than Bogans? Boat people.

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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Knock knock. who's there? Alex. GO AWAY!!!

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Roses Are Blue I Have A Gun And Ill Sout You!

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How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

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How do you enter a gas station? Through the front door

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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