A cat walks into a bar and says.......Meow

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When life gives you lemons... you probably just found lemons...

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Your mama's so fat she's going on weight-watchers to pursue a healthier lifestyle and avoid the longterm effects of obesity.

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Roses re red Violets are black You'd look better with a knife in your back

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what do you a call quadriplegic man in a pile of leaves? Rustle

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Roses are red violets are blue. I have amnesia so say hello to your nan when you get home

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Penis.

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What is the saddest part of a Jew's life? The fact that every single day the world turns more and more 'jokingly' anti-semetic until the point that the Jewish people have become so overwhelmed by depression that they begin committing suicide until the point of Jewish extinction.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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What do you call something with no legs or arms swimming in the lake? A fish.

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Q: Where does Cher sit? A: I have no idea.

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2 scrubbers walk into a room , one says " can you you smell fresh-air spray"?

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whats the difference between a mexican and an elevator? An elevator can raise a child.

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Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair

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What goes in long and hard and comes out soft and sticky? Chewing Gum

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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A woman comes home and finds her husband with another woman. Their marriage collapses and the husband goes on to marry the other woman and his ex-wife commits suicide.

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why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? because i shot it.

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what did batman day to robin? get in the car robin.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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What do you tell a 500 lb. Sumo wrestler who's eating your food? Stop eating my food.

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What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is very bad looking

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What did the blind, deaf, mute child get for Christmas? Leukemia

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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