Why did no one throw a fridge at the boy on the swing? Because fridges are heavy.

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My little league baseball coach measured the team for cups. Its 9 years later and we still dont have those cups.

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What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

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A small plane is flying across the Atlantic Ocean, on board there's a Black Guy, a Jew, a Priest, and a Mexican. The plane has engine failure and needs to crash, but luckily there are enough parachutes for everyone. The evacuation is succesful.

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A man comes home to find his wife sleeping with another woman. He molests them both.

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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knock knock 'who's there?' 'just open the door'

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8=> >->-o

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Waking up with a snapping turtle up your butt.

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A jewish man is sitting on a bench. A german man then proceeds to sit down next to him. They say nothing to each other.

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Man walks into a bar and goes, "Ouch!"

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knock knock. Who's there? Jehovah's witness. *Door Locks*

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An overweight person falls down the stairs.. They had to be taken to A&E as they suffered very serious injuries.

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what did the homeless man say to the stranger? nothing, he let he let his gun do the talking

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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A:Will you be my valentine? B:No

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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How do you stop the baby from touching the stove? Cut of its arms.

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If u see a guy with a buzz cut and earrings what would u ask? R u a girl with cancer

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God is real

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On the next line im going to write a joke: George W. Bush

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when chuck norris plays call of duty, his only perk is ghost pro.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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