WOw you have no life

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A black man walks into a bar with a parot on his shoulder. The bartender says "Hey you can't bring that in here!" The Parot replies "Sorry i'll have him wait outside."

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9/11

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Q: What's the difference between a child dressing as a ghost for Halloween and a real ghost? A: About a tablespoon of arsenic.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

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Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

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Why did the koahla fall out of the tree? It died.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She was shot Knock knock Who's there? Sally Aren't you dead? Oh yeah K Well imma go be dead now Have fun K

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Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

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What did the FBI agent say to the CIA agent. We're both agents

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What is worse then finding an apple in your worm? Not a lot.

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Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

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…What did you put in the drink that made me fart, and kill my horse?

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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How many ADHD kids does it take to change a light bulb? Let's go ride our bikes!

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me and joey are going to watch the football game, at this point you relize you shouldn't hang out with joey and the other guy because it is joey and I not me and joey

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't. It's dead.

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- Hi, my name is Sarah Lennon. - Wow! Are you related to Sarah Palin?!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ....Because based on modern mathematics the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

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What's worse than this joke? Taking a dump on an airplane as it crashes in to the World Trade Center.

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? Stuck

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What happened to the guy who got bullied? He commited suicide.

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How do you catch wet wood on fire? Ask a business owner in Ferguson, MO, to keep it in their store.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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