I just made up a joke! How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Seven. The ending needs some work...

A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

There was this cat, and he was walking down this long road, knowing a dog lived on 45 lake avenue. So the cat was very careful while walking by that house so the dog and his diqqas wouldnt chase the cat, named pat. So like a rogue in the arathi basen lodge, he made his way over the stone wall and ran as quickly as he could through the muddy path of dirt. This cat was also swagged out of control, so he had mad bitches. That is where Pat was heading....... to his mad bitches. He had never met these bitches, but bought them offline on a p0rn website that said he would become the man if he purchased the mad hot bitches. When he found the bitches, he shit himself. The bitches were female dogz. if you read this whole paragraph, a fraction of your soul has been ripped out of you. UMAD? ˜´??

Doctor doctor, i think i need glasses! Go to an opticians then...

What do you call a man who stole from a thief? A thief, no matter whom you are stealing from the consequences are dire.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms in it, what's worse than that? The holocaust, whats worse than that? Biting into an apple and finding 3 worms in it

Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There Not Sally Why was the boy sad? Because he dropped his ice cream cone Why'd he drop his ice cream cone? Because he got ran over by a bus Why'd he get run over by a bus? BECAUSE SALLY WAS DRIVING

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm ovulating

French man: Bonjour! English man: um, i am not french! french man: oh, My chat is on this beautiful country! Her name is Valentina! English man: What you poo in the open and name them?

My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

Why didn't the Mexican go to college? He was caught smuggling drugs over the border and was shot.

Why did the american block the road? Because he just ate at Mc donalds.

Which way do 5 gay guys walk? Depends on where they're planning to go.

Why did the rooster go to kfc? To see a chicken strip

Cassie Mills you are gay stop being silly in class you're not funny.

Why was the blonde fired from her job as a nurse? Because she ate all the babies in the nursery (She didn't even leave one for the director of the hospital to eat!)

What did the Banana say to the Peach. Nothing, they are incapable of speaking because they are fruit.

Boy: Dad, come here I need to tell you something. Dad: What? Boy: My name is Jeff. Dad: *Grabs shotgun* " I've had with that damn term"

What did Little Jojo get for Hanukah? Nothing he is Muslim.

Three bears take a bath Red bear asks for the shampoo Blue bear wants the soap Wait... That's not a joke, that's a Haiku

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish

Whats worse then nailing ten babies to a tree? Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

ugvvvvvv

You're momma's so fat, that I just wanna go over there and make hot passionate love to her. What? I'm a chubby chaser.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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