Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were going for a walk. They spotted some tracks, and stopped to inspect them. "Those are train tracks." The blonde noted. They agreed, looked both ways, then crossed safely over it.

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Knock, Knock. Come In.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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Why did the girl start crying? Her pet sunflower had just died.

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Whats slippery and wet? A wet slipper.

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because on top of his depression, his wife had been cheating on him and his kids all died in a horrible hand-gliding mishap.

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What's the difference between the son of a prostitute and Luke Skywalker? Luke knew who his father was.

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two people are falling out of a plane, a blond and a brunnete who hit the ground first. the blond, the brunnete brought a parachute

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Did you hear about the cannibal who had a wife and ate kids?

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Two men go hunting and one has a sudden heart attack. The other man calls 911 and immediately tells the operator his location and the nature of the emergency. Rescue workers arrive on the scene in a timely manner and the man makes a full recovery.

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Knock knock Who's there? Carrot Carrot who? Carrot in the tree house, cause it's orange.

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What's the difference between a volleyball and a tree? They're both volleyballs except for the tree.

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A man walked into a bar. He got drunk and left.

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Whats black and white with red all over? A dead panda

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock.. Who's there? Not Sally!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, The middle one's for you.

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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What can little Billy play? The tumour, sorry I meant what will little Billy die from.

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Hitler. lol, sucks.

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Jack and Jill ran up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and died.

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Whats worse than being a black guy? NOTHING.

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How many cats would it take to change a lightbulb? Cats can't change lightbulbs

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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