Why did the child with one arm shave his head? He is a swimmer.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What's brown, black, and red all over? The burning cross on the lawn of a respectable African-American family.

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two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

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A man agreed with a camel. The camel didn't agree. ... (This joke does only make sense in the Dutch language.)

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What did Billy get his parents for Christmas? Billy's an orphan.

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poetry

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A Man Gets Cancer He eventually Loses all his hair and drops dead

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Wat do u call a priests shit Holy shit

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what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

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What happens when a bunch of animals break into your house... they eat you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

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A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

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[Insert anti-joke here]

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was just a young boy living in a quaint suburbial town, his family, 1 2 3 4 and 5 were all killed by 7. 7 then burned down their house while 6 ran away from the blazing inferno he used to call home. 6 was forced to live off the land in order to survive. 6 built a house using only mud and sticks and a little elbow grease. When 7 heard the news that 6 was still alive and well in the forest, 7 went into the woods, tracked down 6's home and again burned it down. When 6 came back from a day of fishing and a handfull of fish, he saw that his house was burned down. The fish then escaped from his hands, and flew away. 7 had left a note on the ground that said 7. 6 then recalled the first time 7 had killed his family and burned down house. 7 had now burned down two of 6's houses. That is why 6 is afraid of 7.

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whats the difference between ur mom and my mom? nothing i slept with both of them

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Whats funnier than 24. ... DEEZ NUTS.

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josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

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Penis

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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why am I writing this...im bored

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nobody move, or i'll kill myself, then her!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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