A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A woman walks into the living room while her husband is watching tv. The husband tells her "Make me a Sandwich", so she goes to the kitchen and makes him a sandwich like shes told to.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I personally really do not know

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Who's the cutest girl in the world? Claire Seiter.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Your mom is so stupid she makes stupid people look not stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being in an abusive relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's moist wet and I put my finger in it? My nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

You

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the worse thing O.J. Simpson has gotten away with? Running a red light

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did you get for your birthday? I got older

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a black man flying a plane ? - a pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why shouldn't you drink and drive? Because you might hit a bump and spill your drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What does two plus two equal? 4

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he found a crosswalk with a walk symbol near his destination.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Donkey lips

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What game will Helen Keller always win? A: Marco Polo. She is a fast swimmer.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was the black guy hanging from the tree? Because he committed suicide because his wife of 20 years left him, is only child hates him and due to the bad economy is job at wall street was terminated.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red, violets are black, you better watch your anus, cause jimmy is back!!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A Christian walks in into a bar . . . mitzvah.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What happened to the boat that sank? Everyone on it died

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Mr Jones, we're sending you to a mental health clinic

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops