What did the rock say to the tree. It didn't say anything, rocks don't talk.

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I've got a dig bick

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What is the difference between a plum and an elephant? One is purple, and not an elephant.

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Who looks like a bird and can fly to hogwarts? Dean McKee. his scar is f u c k i n g rotten

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my bubbles!

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Why did the black person eat fried chicken Because fried chicken tends to be an abundant food in the African American community and that was the quickest and cheapest weekend afternoon food source nearest to his house. It is also found in many other communities throughout the country and even the world. Oh yeah, he was hungry

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What came first the chicken or the egg? Neither, chickens have been extinct since 1987.

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What was Billy for Halloween? A pirate

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If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, its probably a turtle.

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What did one Pokemon say to the other pokemon? We are fake.

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Emergency call: - Please help, my little son swallowed a condom! 5 minutes later - It is ok, I found another one.

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You know why Michael J Fox can dance like it's 1999? because he's a really good dancer.

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What do Michael Jordan and LeBron James have in common? They both have won NBA championships...except for Lebron.

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Two members of the KKK walk into the bar into a bar. The bartender asks, "what do you think of Obama?" One of the KKK members says "he is my President, I respect him."

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how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What do u call a ginger man with no ears? What ever the hell u want Because he's deaf

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Q: What do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

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yo mama is so old, so old that she was given senior citizen discount at the restaurant.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

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how come jenny could not fall asleep? their was a man standing outside her window holding a knife

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:O <===============3 :===========3 :======3 :===3 :3 It all makes sense now.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Gestapo. Gestapo who? Your husband is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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