A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

How do you get a blonde to break a nail? Smash her finger with a wrench.

why was the man itchy? because he had herpies

What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

One cold winter day in Russia, a man asked a tree if he was cold. The tree did not reply, and the man became depressed.

How much cocaine has Charlie Sheen done? enough to put your health at risk

Asian NASCAR.

What's easier to get than a broke hooker on the side of the street? Osama Bin Laden.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

Q: What's black, white, and red all over? A: A horribly maimed zebra.

what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

Wow Nero, you never explained the process, its like I am at the ocean again, but dont lie, you still fear showers... Sorry its just not you when you lie to me, I know I should be more concerned about you, ill bring those old stuff, im tired, sleepy, I suppose thats your work huh Nero? Thanks, call it as a brother or what you want, but I really love you and wont ever stop doing so. Goodnight Nerochan, promise me you will take care of yourself, we all got a long life ahead of us, and I want to spend more time with you, if its fine for you and your wife.

I don't have ADHD I just- Hey look a squirrel!

knock knock. no one's home..

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? A lot.

what's the difference between natives and dogs? people enjoy having dogs in their houses

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck CAN chuck wood, that's why his a wood chuck.

What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead

what's worse than fining out that the best and worst jokes on anti-joke.com are about the Holocaust The Holocaust

Who's more mean than teacher Hitler

how do you know your sister is on her period? you dads dick taste like blood.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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