how does your hair keep changing lengths? due to my countless hours of grueling sessions in chemotherapy due to what was recently found as a terminal cancer, i wear wigs

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we named a drink after you!". The grasshopper says "What, Dave?"

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Two Jews walked into a bar. Then bought it.

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Whats better than pizza? Pepperoni pizza, if you like pepperoni that is.

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground beef

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet you 350 euro that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way." The man says, "Why not?" And the butcher answers, "I have a huge gambling addiction, after losing my family to it, this job is all I have left" The man leaves, ruing the silly bet he had placed.

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What do you call a white duck? A quacker

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Roses are red violets are blue why dont u go take a shower

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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What happened to the man who just took a shit? He got a stunning pain in his anus because the earlier Hemorrhoid issues had now turned in to a open wound around his Anoderm.

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Wake up in the morning feeling like... Helen Keller

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What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

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What did the black man say to the Hispanic? Lovely weather we're having.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Bend Over.

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A man and a hobo meet on a narrow path. What does the hobo do? Finds the mans wife and impregnateds her, aborts the baby, takes dead fetus chops it up and makes the man eat it in a salad. While the man is chocking he shotes him and walks on.

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Why would a baby cry? Because it's being put through a juicer.

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it was christmas day and the boy opened his first present... and he immediately got aids.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother?

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Nerochan, it was really nice chatting with you, I hope we can chat some other time... Please tell me why you are upset with me, just pick up the phone, I mean let me know what I did you wrong.

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What's yellow and lays in a tree? Tweety the Whore

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Bee1:Boo Bee2:Boo Look i found 2 boobies:)

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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