A man says to another man, "Why the long face?" He then replies, "I have an elongated face, hands, and feet due to acromegaly."

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What is the difference between a man and a woman? Genitals

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Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

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Yo mamma is so old that she died.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? A: The holocaust

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How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. Then he woke with a fright In the middle of the night And thought about what a strange dream he was having.

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If your dying how would you avoid getting eaten alive by sharks or rip to shreds by a T-Rex? Fall on a sword

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

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A bear walks into a bar, and says "I'd like a gin... and tonic." The bartender says "AAAAHHH! A BEAR!!!" and calls animal control. Later after the beast has been tranquilized and carted away, he rationalizes having heard the bear speak as trauma-induced hallucination.

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TOBUSCUS

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Why are females bad drivers? Because it is hard to drive with pots and pans.

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Why was the girl so stupid? She had mental retardation caused my Down Syndrome.

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Nerochan, it was really nice chatting with you, I hope we can chat some other time... Please tell me why you are upset with me, just pick up the phone, I mean let me know what I did you wrong.

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What did the watermelon say to the apple? Nothing. Watermelons are fruits and incapable of speech.

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:)I will always assist you in whatever you ever want. :(I want to kill you!

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why do gingers have no friends? They are non sentient stems that are simply not capable of interacting with intellectual humans

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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Two muffins were in the oven...They were taken out after about 40 minutes, and then enjoyed by all.

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Laugh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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