"What is the sound of one hand clapping?" "I'm not quite sure, but your on fire."

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What would Michael Jackson do if he were in a room full of kids? Nothing, he's dead.

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I just flew in from Seattle, and boy is their airport difficult to navigate.

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What do you call Michael? A homosexual person who is nice, however he is still gay.

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Q: what's do the following sports have in common?: baseball, football, tennis, golf? A: They all have balls in their sport.

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Your mom.

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whats better than a dead baby..... wait..... whats worse than a dead baby...... never mind its not that funny anymore

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Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

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Voldemort's nose is so flat, that it looks like he doesn't have a nose.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Mud.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was trying to kill himself in the fastest and easiest way due to his drinking problems, which in the first place separated him him from his wife, who is fighting with him in court for custody of there only child ,Steven. He can not even pay the rent on his apartment or hold a job to pay child support..he is also in debt.

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Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

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A man walks into a bar. He's just entered into the Twilight Zone.

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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How can you shed 10 pounds in one day? Get your legs amputed.

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How do you get a small freckly boy to stop watching television. You turn off the television.

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Ed Rambo. EXPERIENCE as John Rambo is kidnapped by AL QUAIDA (because he did not totally save their ass in the second or third movie riiiight) Leaving Ed Rambo, his son (Played by Eddie Murphy) up to the task of saving him, from Al Quaida`s real leader... Yes, its a conspiracy! "Okay, first Obama is supposedly a terrorist, but seriously the secret alliance between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton?" Bullshit movie reviews. "So the explanation is that Ed Rambo is black because John Rambo married an Asian woman? What about their age? They are probably the same or something!" Mad Magazine. Moral: Yeah because this annoys you, and you all kinda love me I know its Al Qaeda, but who wants to type that... Now it does not say Skynet is watching anymore... After four times... Wow, god damn we need robocop to be real before the Termitetrisnators travel back in time into our dimension. AND NOT ADAM SANDLERS: ROBOCOP.

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Women"s Rights

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What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

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how do you tell the difference between a jew and a muslim? you ask them what their religion is.

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one day a grape was in the sun raisin

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What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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What happens when you go from a jew to a penguin? A huge climate change.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops