A women president

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Jimmy said he would never beat his wife, so why did he do it anyway? Because he was a hypocrite.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one, you have no friends.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you call a blonde girl with ponytails? A cheerleader.

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What did the ant say to the bush? Ernest Borgnine.

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guess what>? your mum lol

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her what her name is

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What did the cast of sex and the city get for Christmas Nothing Sarah Jessica Parker is Jewish

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Whats black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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Why couldn't the blonde fix the lightbulb? It was shattered.

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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What did the fish say to the human ? He didn't say anything fish can't speak.

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Why was the little Latino boy sad? Because his father sexually molested him earlier in the evening.

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I told my two lesbian friends I wanted to join them. I am a priest in a Gay Marriage friendly state and they are happily married.

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That awkward moment where all you want for Christmas is for your parents to get back together but then you realize that they died in a car crash

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What do you call a black person who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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What do you call a black man driving a fire truck? A firefighter you racist.

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what do you call a middle-aged man with one blue suede shoe on, purple hair, pink skin, white eyes, no toenails, 67 fingers, 1 eye, a pocket watch, no clothes, and 8978967564567898765432345678765321234568909876543w245678909876543456098765323456-0987654367890-098765435678-09876543456789098765432345678909876543456789098765435678909876543234567898765323456890-987654345678900987654323456890987653234567890765434568909876543456899876543456789098765434568909876545678987654345678987654567898765434567898765478579458765456789876543223456789876543098765432123456898765432678987654230987653-098765434567898765434898765434567898765456787654567876 butt cheeks? bob.

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(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

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I used to be an inventor, but I had other ideas.

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Whats the difference between a 100 dead babies and a ferrari? One is an automobile and the other is a tragic reminder that SIDS is a serious and deadly problem.

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What happens when you put Michael Jackson in a room full of little boys? The 3 year-old rotting corpse of Michael Jackson and a room full of traumatized little boys.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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