who touched the priests sticky hand? Jake Duncan

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Why did the baby cross the road? 'cause i kicked it.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

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A man is cheating on his wife. His wife finds out and is instantly distressed and begins to cry.

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

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What do you call a exceptionally funny anti joke? Well, usually cruel and extremely vile.

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knock knock who's there? be. be who? *hits you with a batterang. BECAUSE ITS BATMAN

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A duck walks into a bar. He sees Khloe Kardashian sitting on a barstool. The duck runs out of the bar screaming.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but it nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.

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Q: How do all 5 gay guys walk? A: In One Direction

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Knock knock Who's there? Gung chee Gung chee who? That's my full name.

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What would happen if an unstoppable object hit and unmovable object? I don't know, I was just wondering

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What`s the best part about twenty-three year olds? there are twenty of them

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Why did the black guy drink the kool aid? Because there was a glass of kool aid next to him and he was thirsty.

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whats wierder than two lesbians kissing two homos kissing

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Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? He was furious because it was the fourth time that week that it failed to wake him up for school, and he was going to be late again.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have alziemers banana cookie!

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-How old are you, Dick? -I'm 30 centimeters old

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The last time I heard that joke, I fell off my pet single celled bacteria.

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Why didn't Wendy want to sit down? Because her dad put a hand full of needles in her anus. - D

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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jess is a drama queen am i right rishi ?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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