Roses are red Violets are blue Actually they're purple That's why they're called "violets"

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it lands on its back.

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How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

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You know what's worse than finding a real joke on antijoke.com? AIDS

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A Jew finally tipped He was in a canoe

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What is a white supremacist's favorite color? It varies depending on the individual.

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So a Mexican a Jew and a Philippino walk across the street What Happened? the border patrol shot them

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Barny the purple dinosaur has no imagination, stuck his finger up his ass and called it masterbaition!

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How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

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Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

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I'm attracted to you like the earth is attracted to the sun. With a force that is inversely proportional to the distance squared.

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Yo Momma Is Soooo Fat She Is Highly Obese

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Two giant paint bubbles!

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A black and a white man walk into a grocery store the black man buys fried chicken and the white man buys vegtables. The men both have different opions and enjoy different food groups.

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Justin Bieber paid a donation to the anti-homosexual orginization.

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Religion.

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man running the stand "Quack"! because he's a duck... and that's what ducks do.

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What did Greg say to John? Nothing. Greg died in a horrible plane crash

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There are 500 bricks on an airplane. If you drop one out, how many are left? 499. There are three steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator. What are they? Open the fridge, put the elephant in, close the fridge. There are four steps to putting a deer in the fridge. What are they? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the deer in, close the fridge. The Lion King is having a birthday party. All the animals are there but one. Why is that? The deer is in the fridge. A woman wants to cross an alligator infested swamp. How does she do it? She crosses normally because the alligators are at the Lion King's party. She dies anyways. Why? She gets hit in the head with a brick.

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what did the 0 say to the 8 nice belt

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69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who understand binaryy and those who dont.

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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