Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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Jerry Sandusky prefers twenty eight year olds. 20 eight year olds.

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Its a sunny day. There's a tree and a bird. What did they say to each other? --------------------------------------------------- Nothing they can't talk.

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What is smarter than a blind Mexican midget of average intelligence? A genius

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What's sad about an elderly couple who has had a long, fruitful marriage? Nothing.

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Give to the less fortunate. Date ugly people

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

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They found Michael Jackson dead in his house and found Madeleine McAnn in the cupboard 8P

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You know what's funny about Fox news? Nothing. Lying to the public isn't funny at all.

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Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

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Whats worse than finding a worm guts in your apple? Being raped by a alien with no arms then passed on to his comrades to be raped for the rest of your life.

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Knock Knock Who is there? Orange Orange who? Orange-Banana

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What animal is green and eats a green rockeater? A green green rockeater eater. What animal is green and eats a green green rockeater eater? A frog.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The loss of originality in anti joke formats. And hypocrisy.

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Mary had a little lamb, the doctor fainted.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing set? Because she got hit with a mattress

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What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The bench is an inanimate object incapable of thought

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"I never want to see you again!" shouted Stevie Wonder to the genie in the bottle, as a young boy.

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What's worse than a man with AIDS? The fact that this is considered a joke.

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A man became infected with Staphylococcal Food Poisoning. The doctor said, "You only have 24 hours to live." He died 24 hours later.

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Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium BATMAN! Oh cemetery jokes

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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Q: What's multicoloured and spins around while screaming in agony? A: A clown in a washing machine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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