ok

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Why didn't Billy have legs? Because he's a fish.

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How many TV shows are there? A lot.

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Roses are red, my name is Dave. This poem makes no sense, microwave

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How do you stop someone from simply copying an already posted anti-joke? No, seriously, how do you?

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? a new bike.

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Q. Why are most jews unemployed? A. They all got fired.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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What did one prostitute say to the other prostitute? I'm dying of AIDS

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Q: What do you call a dog with metal balls and two-inch legs? A: Animatronic

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What do you call a guy with no arms? Names.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Q: what's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

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So I took this girl into my room we got in bed, We got under the covers and.... We had a rather delightful game of scrabble.

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Why does a squirrel have the tail at the back? Because at the front it's the squirrel.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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What did the abortion say to the womb? I'm outta here.

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Yeah, and speaking about spiderman, I got some weird senses, when I get stressed things begin seeming slower, and gets a weird blur effect, not sure what it is, but if you know what "bullet hell video games are" Technically games where you play as a tiny spaceship and lots of bullets fly around, I was always awesome at those games as a kid, because the more stress I felt while playing, the slower my perception of time felt.

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you just lost the game!

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roses are red. violets are violet...

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A russian gives away vodka.

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? Can you speak up? I cant hear you!

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Why does little susie enjoy her life? Because it was her birthday 364 days ago.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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