Joker2? Who comes up with the names anyways? Sounds like a stupid version of the matrix... Anyways, I stutter because my nerves are killing me, I cant quit the painkillers cold turkey if I cant sleep without them, besides I am used to physical pain as tragic as that might sound... Its not when you get used to it. I need to know who this Neo-Nero was, for anyone that can tell me, he is not around here at these hours, and during the time he/she I was dead, did considerable damage to my and my orders reputation, I need a face to face talk to someone that would put aside my chosen successor and assume my role, and I wont let that happen again even if it means bruising up this Neo-me a bit.

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Where does the Queen of England live? England.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Tulips are brown, I need to stop working on my flower garden after fisting a cows butthole.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

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why did the plane crash ? Because a loaf of brad was flying it, and Loaves of bread don't fly planes

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Oh please! Come on! Those that got to us where mostly Russians remember? And what where my parents? (if you do not know you might have guessed it by now) I found a guy that looked about the same as me, messed him up and put my jacket on him, I do not die that easily. Anyway, id explain more, but I have been without these fucking painkillers so long that I am talking trash on this stupid site again... Seriously the pain I am used to, but this addiction on painkillers is a bitch... (shedog if censor got a hold on it) But it turns out I cant sleep without them, sleep just does not come anymore, so Ill go get some now. Who are you by the way? I am Nero7, Aka Axel Knight.

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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Why did Bob stop at the light? Because it was red and not doing so would be illegal.

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the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

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What did the German say to the Jew? Welcome to Germany we hope you enjoy your stay

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How many babies does it take to tile a roof? Depends how thinly you slice them

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A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit and. the bear eats the rabbit in a whole bite without chewing...end of story...the end

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she no arms

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Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

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I've never seen a zebra use that crossing.

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how do you get a 1 armed moron out of a tree? you wave

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What's blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF What's white and fluffy? A BUNNY What's pink and fluffy? PINK FLUFF What's brown and fluffy? A PORCUPINE

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Christopher Walken to a bar.

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

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HEY WATCH OUT FOR THAT TRUCK! What truck? Weird I could have sworn I saw a truck...

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A deaf lion tried to kill a zebra. It succeeded.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead."

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what is poop in pee? bagel thins? tuesday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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