For anti-joke.com, there should be a section called "Hot" that shows new jokes which are given 5 thumbs up or up. This way we would get new jokes on the popular section instead of having the same ones for a very long time. I know this isn't a joke, but thumbs up if you agree.

thumb_up thumb_down +585

The biggest lie ever. "I do" -Kim Kardashian

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the ocean say to the other ocean? - nothing oceans are inanimate objects that are incapable of talking.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

vaginas are pretty!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is as dry as a bone? A bone

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the chicken cross the road? Becuase as a chicken its intulect this very low so walking in the middle of the street was it's 1st instest. Ther'for it crossed the road and made it to the other side safe. Now please don't ask me a stupid question like that again.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the black man say to the white man? "I like your shirt" The black man walked off and lived out the rest of his days in peace.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he's stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles roll ed into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’ The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.The students laughed.. ‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things—-your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—-and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.. The sand is everything else—-the small stuff. ‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn. Take care of the golf balls first—-the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand. One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented. The professor smiled.... And than he shove all the items up his ass

thumb_up thumb_down -11

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your titties super glued to a triceritops' as cheeks while the triceritops has chronic diahrea

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. I slipped you a roofie, get ready for me.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

O'Malley, an Irishman; Adam, a Jew; and Patrick, a gay man, walk into a bar. Oh crap. I just outed Patrick.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

GADZOOKS!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was the turkey killed? Because this particular turkey lived on a farm and a supermarket was paying the farmer a reasonable price to sell it.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

If it looks like chicken and tastes like chicken but Chuck Norris says it's beef, politely correct him. He is actually a very sensible fellow and will probably thank you for doing so.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will you have for dinner? The duck says "quack".

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what is the difference between babies and trampolines? you take your shoes off when jumping on a trampoline

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's funnier than a dead baby? -A dead baby sitting next to a kid with Down Syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why was the black man forced to sit at the back of the bus ? it was a busy day.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

DON"T READ THIS!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Hey! You wanna' hear a joke? Black Freedom

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops