Do you know why the Mexican didn't like hot dogs? I don't know either.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was tired of the publicity his friend, the chicken was getting for crossing the road that he wanted to do it himself. Halfway across the duck was wistfully hit by a car and sadly, his story is lesser known and 99% of the people in this world really don't care about him. Thumbs up if you're that 1% that shows sympathy toward the duck.

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You know what they say about people with big feet.......... They wear big shoes.

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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Is this the krusty krab? No, this is Patrick

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Why can't I believe it's not butter? Because it is butter.

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.

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Why did the police officer decide to eat a donut? Because he was slightly hungry, but a meal seemed too much for him.

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So i was writing a letter to my girlfriend on valentines day right ? So this is how it goes . " hey lisa happy volentines day!" my black friend walks up to me and says" its a mightyfine day out! " The moral of the story is... Tomatoes can't fly planes

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A bass player walks past a bar.......... "hey, it could happen"...

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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A fat man orders a pizza. Then after eating it, he gets a eart attack due to his high cholesterol and lack of exercise

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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What would George Washington say if he were alive today? WHAT THE **** IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY!

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give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van.

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Jake: When was war of 1812? Harry: 1812 Jake: Oh.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

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Hello

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What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

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A duck flew calmly through the air and landed softly on a beautiful lake, where he was then shot for trespassing.

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Why did the black guy die... Herpees he didn't practice safe sex

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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