A man walks into a bar. What does he say? A: Ow.

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Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: Names

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza does'nt scream in the oven

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What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

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Q. What do you call a guy who only drinks lite beer. A. His name.

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Hitler, a Nazi, and a Jew walk into a bar. Only Hitler and the Nazi walk out. What happened to the Jew? He had to use the bathroom so he asked Hitler and his Nazi friend to wait in the car.

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A black man offers to take a girl home from the nightclub. As they're sitting in the car, she curiously asks him ''So tell me it's true what they say about black man''. The man sighs and explains: ''Well many people think that we stab, shoot and steal things. Another stereotype that is launched at us is that we have large penises. I however do not steal. My penis is also quite small. After this conversation the girl was driven home safely, and was now convinced that stereotypes are lies.

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Yo mammas so fat she wears big clothes!

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did you hear about the fly on the toilet? i heard he got pissed off!

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Why did the horse stop running? His master beat him to death.

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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

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Why did the little boy die? Because he had cancer.

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What is the difference between an obese white man, and a physically fit black man? Their weight and skin color.

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Q:Whats the difference between NBC and the NBA? A: The NBA is the National Basketball Assocation and NBC is The No Body Cares.

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Today i decided to burn calories, so I grabbed my lighter from the counter and put it in my pocket and proceeded to the treadmill.

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Whats worse than 2 babies in a trashcan. 1 baby in 2 trashcans

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Just finished taking a huge $hit, wiped my ass, then realized I wasn't done.

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Dislike this, and I kill myself.

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Whats 9 inches long, pink, and makes women scream? A miscarriage OuO

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What do you call a white basketball player? A very athletic hardworking dedicated human being.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset? Neither did she.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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