What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A Pilot

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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A priest, a jew, and a pirate walk into a bar. An exchange of dialogue occurs with the bartender and hilarity ensues.

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How much money did the pirate pay for his ear to get pierced? Nothing, given that he is a pirate. It was probably done at gunpoint.

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i am a duck. are you a duck. yes i am a duck.

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How do you drown a dumb blonde? Hold her underwater.

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How did OJ get away with murder? No one really knows. Probably because he an excellent group of lawyers

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your mothers so silly she saw a rock and sat on a chair.......?

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There is an elephant, a zebra, a lion, and a black man. The black man is enjoying his visit to the zoo.

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Why was the child lying in the scrap yard? because he was being torn apart by guard dogs.

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An american man, chinese man, black man, and a Mexican man walk into a bar. The american man says i want to show you guys a trick, so they go to the empire state building and the american man jumps off the side and comes back up alive. He tells them i will do it one more time, watch closely. So he jumps off and comes back alive. The american guy tells the chinese man to do it. So the chinese guy jumps off and dies. Then the american guy tells the mexican to jumps off, sonhe does it. The mexican man dies and the black guy is told to do it and he is afraid, but still does it, he dies. The american man goes back to the bar and the barkeep says "Superman you can be a real dick when your drunk!"

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A man walks into a bar and sees a jar filled with money. He asks the bartender, "What`s all this money for?" The bartender replies, "It`s Breast Cancer Awareness month and we are collecting donations." The man puts in $5, and continues on with his night.

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My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

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I have the answer to why the child stepped on a ball-he was dumb

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot lost control of the plane.

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suck my a s s i hate mother f u c k e r s in my mother f u c k i n g crib

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A man walks into a bar... has a beer then leaves to his beautiful wife and his 2 children

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What happens when you get hit in the face? You get hurt.

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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Whats red and crawls up your leg? A homesick abortion.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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