A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a classified space mission for N.A.S.A.

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whats worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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How many freudians does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Two. One who unscrew the lightbulb and another who hold the penis....eehhh i mean ladder.

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Me Chinese Me no joke Me die of cancer.

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A serial killer kills a family of 5 He is never found and eventually kills himself from depression

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which one does not belong light bulb i have read an agree to the terms of service view terms of service submit

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why did hellen kellers dog run away? because if your name was awughunguh you'd run too.

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Why do Chinese people smell? Because of their ethnicity...plus, they smell.

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As a kid I was always told that school would get me good places. As an adult, I have found that there is another thing that gets you into a good place. Shrooms.

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Why is this an anti-joke? Are you laughing? Exactly.

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If Apple made a house, would it have Windows?

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Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

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- Knock, knock - Who's there? - Police - I'm not home!

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What's hairy and sags? A ball sack

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? -getting raped by 10 very hung men who go balls deep

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Yo momma is so stupid when she drove to Disney World she saw that said "Disney World Left" so she turned on her turn signal and made a left turn. She promptly arrived at Disney World but realized she had left her wallet at the hotel.

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what is white and sticky a stick from a birch tree

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind

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A blind man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at the man for a moment, then asks : - Excuse me, sir. Are you blind ? And the blind man says : - Yes.

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Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

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Q:If a lesbian woman is wearing a jean jacket, high heels, camouflage shorts, and sunglasses, what gender is she ? A: Sheep.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? a dead baby in a clown costume!!!

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What happens when you park a new Cadillac with a roll of $100 dollar bills on the dashboard in a black neighborhod? Many residents of that peaceful community will briefly glance at it and admire the wealth of the automobile's owner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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