Why couldn't kitty drink it's milk?\ It's face was nailed to the floor

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their were 2 muffins. one said hello how are you. the other screamed "A TALKING MUFFIN"

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Wanna here a funny joke Oh right. You can't hear

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Friends are a lot like trees, they fall down when hit multiple times with an axe.

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I went up to my friend and she said to me, "Foop." I calmly went to the nearest teacher and told her that Susie is having a mental breakdown again

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Adam Sandler.

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What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and one in the evening? A dog that plays in traffic all day.

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

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What do you call an African American sitting on a park bench? Elephant-man (I forgot to mention, he has a giant elephant trunk)

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A gay guy walks into a bar. Nothing is said to him, because homosexuality is accepted in this area.

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Why did Jack take a prune out for the evening? A healthy snack as part of a balanced diet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is a highly unlikely circumstance due to the fact that there are no wild chickens and most chicken coops are nowhere near a road

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how do you make a plumber cry? you pull its pants up

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What do you call a black man sitting on your couch? A house guest.

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Why was Timmy crying? because his impaled his dog while in a drunken rage

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "What will it be tonight?" He then promptly remembers he is on anti-joke.co but is too late to react. The horse has already shit on the floor. This is the fifth time this week that this has happened.

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How many light bulbs? 1

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roses are red , violets are blue i love bernard he loves me too if you take him from my place i'll smash my fist in your face.

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What kind of cheese is not you cheese? Not your cheese.

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rose's are red violets are blue I have touretts blblblblblblblblbbl

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I'm 4 and what is this?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender in five states.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself pink and throw green banana at her.

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Why was little Bobby Smith crying on Christmas day? Because the doctor diagnosed him with terminal cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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