So a catholic priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a beer.

what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

How many TV shows are there? A lot.

What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

quinn knows four other quinns but he ruined my life so he tells me to stop because im ruining this website but i disagree and now he is trying to tell me a joke and im not listening he is still trying but i don't care because i hate him,

A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

What did the woman buy her husband? Nothing, she's a widow.

Why did Superman cross the road? I dunno.

Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

Yo mama's so fat because her BMI is considered obese on the scale.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock knock. I've got a gun. Knock kn [*BANG!*] [L]

How do you crash an airplane? By not knowing how to fly it.

What did the black man buy at the fruit shop? Some bananas.

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

What did Susie do when the music was too loud Nothing

Knock knock. who's there? your dead cat, here you go.

What is worse than when the Titanic sunk? You Cannot say. You were on that ship.

five gay guys stand in a line is it a straight line

Wanna here a joke? Dylan Shipleys penis!!!

A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

What do I smell like to you?? Crap.

If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

Roses are black Violets are black A black person died

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...