An elephant walks into a bar. He nearly levels the entire structure as he forced his way through the front door.

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What's long brown and sticky? S**t

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I used to take arrows to the knee but then I didn't, for no particular reason.

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A blonde walks into a bar and orders a drink. The end.

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why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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1 I've been diagnosed with-- 2 I don't give a f*ck, go die in a hole!

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What does it mean if you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars? You both have five dollars

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A mother is sitting with her son at the park. A nearby man suddenly breaks into uncontrollable coughing. The mother leans over to her son and whispers, 'Smoker's cough.' The son never takes up smoking.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

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Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

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Knock, knock. Who's there. Death.

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Matthew Wyckoff

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Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

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Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.

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What's brown, liquid and bad for your health in large doses? Did you guess: Coca Cola? Soda? Beer? Pepsi? Wrong. It's beer. Did this Anti-joke sound pretentious? Don't worry, you're not the only one.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked Jill if she wanna. Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and had a little fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What is worse than the holocaust Nothing it was fine with the Jews in camps burning and dying

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What's a thither? My sister with a lisp.

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Q: why couldn't anyone hear hellen keller when she fell off a cliff? A: she was mute.

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if rooster puts egg on roof, in what direction it will roll? There was no egg

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One day a man named Tyler put a picture of an Asian in his wallet and proceeded to call himself Asian even though he was of Caucasian. Then a theif pick pocketed his wallet and was confused.

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What do 10 dead babies in a blender sound like? Idk because I was too busy masturbating.

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What's small, white, and it killed Bruce Lee? Aspirin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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