you: guess what somebody: what? you: you have cancer

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Why did Jake not get on the bus? Answer: Because Jake is a dog. Dogs are not allowed on the bus.

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what did the chicken say to the other chicken? nothing, they dont talk.

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What did the dogs say to Michael Vick? Arf Arf Arf, woof woof woof

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Knock knock Get off my porch homo

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What do you get when you cross a zombie with a beer? Nothing because zombies are just another subject dealing with the occult.

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A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican guy walk into a bar. They are good interracial friends that like to put down some brewski's with eachother

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Pants and God shorts: God: Jews ur my people nao! Jews: Yay we are Gods chosen people! Riches and gRape awaits us! World domination next! God: Well, not quite what I meant but, err... Close enough? Jews: YAY! Moral: So much for "the chosen ones" :(

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Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

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why did the girl cross the road? to get away from you

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A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

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If roses weren't RED and violets weren't Blue... Walls are still solid objects.

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What do Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston have in common? They were both great singers.

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Take wrong turns

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What do you call someone who doesn't have a soul? A ginger

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was curious about something that had diverted his attention.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

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What's worse than shitting whilst fucking? Losing your eye! Kelvin Yang

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what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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The seven dwarves sat around the house feeling Grumpy, so Grumpy left.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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God is almighty, as such he ANSWERS TO NO ONE! Moral: What you praying for then bitch?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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