What would kill a Muslim if they were to ingest it? Arsenic

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How do you stop a vehicle moving at high speeds? Apply the brakes in a reasonable fashion.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had down-syndrome

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Why did the chicken cross the road? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU CARE? LET THE POOR CHICKEN IN PEACE! No, seriously he was going to his mother's funeral.

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What is the biggest lie of 2011? "I do"- Kim kardashian

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Yep, super duper stressed, all of the time, but how did you know?

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"Have you ever seen a blacksmith?" "No." "Me neither."

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name-Sally-Sue What I am good at in school: readin' annnd...math. What I need to work on in school: spelin

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If I just post the same thing someone else posted and say it was mine, I'm gonna be really popular because everyone is too dumb to realize it's not my original work of genius.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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Going out for a quiet one, having a drink or two, and returning home.

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Why did the kid jump? He didn't.

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Where was the Decoration Of Independence Signed? At the bottom.

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A middle aged bald man goes to Chuck E. Cheese with a hood and a lump in his back pocket. He has a somewhat enjoyable time with his offspring and leaves.

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Why was Jimmy afraid of coming out of the closet? He had agoraphobia.

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Why can't Hank drive? Hank is a stone.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? ....Mrs Murray silently returned to her armchair, a single tear rolling down her weathered cheek. Her lonely existence deepened, as she realised the gang of boys had fooled her again.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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I used to make jokes about taking arrows to the knee then i beat the game

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Knock Knock Come in Thank you very much. Don't mention it. Would you like a home made spinach roll?

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Do not believe the sentence below. Believe the sentence above.

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what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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