Why did the gay man not walk straight? Because I took a jack hammer to his foot

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An owl turns to the other owl. He has to, he can't move his eyes.

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How did Helen Keller's parents discipline her? Hopefully not too sternly. There's not much trouble a blind and deaf girl can get into, one would imagine.

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So a black man, a white man and a latina walk into a sentence that doesn't end how you expected it to.

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FUCK YOU NEVEN

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

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Who is married to Uncle Joke? Antijoke.

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You know what makes no cents? 100 cents because 100 cents make a dollar.

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Why was the black man scared of the chainsaw? Because his father was killed by one when he landed on it when he fell of his ladder that was holding him up while he was cutting the limbs of a tree.

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What do you call a black man climbing a mountain. A mountain climber.

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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Why don't Batman go to an Ozzy Osbourne concert? Because Batman doesn't exist.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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A catholic priest gets a nun pregnant. He drowns the baby several months later.

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A man walks into a bar. He enjoys a few quiet drinks with friends before returning home to his loving family.

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I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

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Q. why are black people so good at sports? A. Hardwork and dedication.

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The shopkeeper said to a customer, "It's raining cats and dogs!" The customer said, "Okay, I'll take eight of them."

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Q.what does the kid scream when he see's a creepy man in a big van pull up? A. ICE CREAM!

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Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

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how do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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knock knock. who's there? Ida Ida who? Idanno, don't ask me.

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"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

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Knock knock Who's there Interrupting camel (Interrupt with nothing) Camels can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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