Rose are red, I dont give a shit. When I think of you, I play with my clit. :)

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What do you call a woman in a kitchen ? There rightful place.

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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Why didn't the [any object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. Why didn't the [other object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. [repeat ad infinitum]

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Whats more sad then four black men in a car driving off a cliff? The man they stolen the car from doesn't have car insurance.

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What is wrong with this phrase? The next line is false. The first line is true. Answer: llamas

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house Knock knock Who's there? The chicken

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i'm on the sea food diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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Knock knock Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? T get to the other side of the road

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Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

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Yesterday I saw a blind man walking down the street, I asked if he needed help and he said "I'm fine thanks." Later on I saw a deaf man walking down the street and asked if he needed help. He didn't hear me, he then fell off the curb and was hit by a car.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by jimmy savile.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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What did the carrot say when it was thrown out of an airplane? Nothing. It's a carrot.

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STOP BULLYING FAT PEOPLE. They have enough on their plate

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Is it a bird, is it a plane?! No it's.... It's a bird.

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Knock Knock. Who the hells there? Nevermind.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Black people

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Knock knock? Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock knock? Who's there? Orange. Orange WHO? Knock knock? WHO'S THERE?! Orange Williams. Sorry, I suffer from debilitating OCD.

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what do you do if you get in a car wreck with a black man get out of your vehicle and exchange insurance information

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My cat used to be afraid of storms. But now it's dead.

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Why did my toaster break? because it was made in china

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Q. what has one million arms and tells it to people A.a liar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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