A Jew, Muslim and Mexican all die of cancer

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Why am I sad right now? Because I just Sh*t my pants.

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A man looks at a glass and says that it is half full. Another man looks at the glass and says that it is half empty. A feminist looked at the glass and said it was being raped

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Why did Sally fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally

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What is worse than getting a 30% on a test? Getting a 29% on a test.

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

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When life gives you lemons. Don't take things from strangers

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25

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Why couldn't the little girl color in her coloring book? Her arms were amputated.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Q: What's grey and rocky? A: A grey rocking hair

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Q: How do you confuse more than 80% of the population? A: Mushrooms.

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Q: What is creepy and stares at you when you sleep A: Me

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Q: How man Jews can you fit in a box? A:if your German than you tell me.

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-Can I ask you one question? -Yes. -Thank you.

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Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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why did the black man go to court he was a lawyer it's is job

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5

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2

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there once was a guy named james who like to play video games he was told one day that he was gay and he immediatley consulted a priest for reconciliation

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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A ginger man ascends to heaven and reaches the pearly gates, seconds later he wakes up in a hospital bed and realizes it was merely a near death hallucination and God isn't real.

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Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

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Wats a joke?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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