Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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why cant helen keller drive? because cars werent popularly accepted when she lived.

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Knock Knock Whos there Cameron oh

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How does a black chick tell if she's pregnant? When she pulls the tampon out, all the cotton is already picked.

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what did Santa Claus say to Nikki Minaj? I really admire your musical talents

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven drove two planes into the world trade center.

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Why was young Timmy Crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you", the grasshopper replies, "you have a drink named Bob"

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Write Your Own It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

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If I had a dollar for every time i got distracted, I want some ice cream

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Why was the black man unemployed? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Chuck norris walked into a bar. He went up to the bartender, clenched his fists and gave him some money

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Why couldn't the girl find a date to the prom? Because she was really, really ugly.

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I asked her where you were.

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with a dinosaur? Beastiality

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There are 3 guys, a fat guy, a skinny guy, and sexy guy. They all work together and have lunch together. The fat guy opens his bag and eats a ham and turkey sandwich. The skinny guy opens his bag and eats a tuna sandwich. The sexy guy opens his bag and eats an egg sandwich. The fat guy finishes his meal. The skinny guy saves half for later. The sexy guy ate more than half of his food. A genie magically appears. The End

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Why was the man sad? His intestines were imploding and his head was shot off seventeen seconds ago.

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why was little jonny not playing in the baseball game? his legs were shattered in a terrible lawn mowing accident.

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A mailman walks into a bar He delivers a bill for the electricity and leaves.

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Whats red and dirty? Her period

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Q: What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? A: I don't know; I was too busy trying to find my camera.

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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Carol never wore her safety goggles. Neither did Hellen Keller.

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Your MUM has aids :D LOL

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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