Why did the chicken cross the road? ..To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A very rich man had a daughter whom all of the men in town wanted to marry her for wealth. Except there was one man who wanted to marry her due to his love for her. The father let his daughter marry whomever she wanted from all of the men in town, and she chose a man named Wilson Fremblington who wanted to marry her for wealth, because he was physically fit and overall a friendly man.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's black and can't speak? A garbage can.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

whats gayer than 2 homosexuals? 3 homosexuals.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a black lifeguard? Ironic.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

two muffins are in a oven the one muffin says jee its hot in here and the other muffin says wow a talking muffin

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Tunechi

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

thumb_up thumb_down -7

The Aristocrats

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a million pigs jumping out of an aircraft? Bacon.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle

thumb_up thumb_down -14

It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between a bird and a horse? - Both can fly, exept the horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What happened when Suzy fell off the swing? She hurt herself.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the Mr. bunny play the piano? - His wife Lannette was ill, and her last wish before she died was for him to.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? His mother was a prostitute.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the stereo break? Cause little Johnny threw a bat at it.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How long would it take for a clock to reach 12 It depends on which 12 it is going to land on and which time zone you are in but yet most clocks are not correct so it is very hard to tell

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why couldn't kitty drink it's milk?\ It's face was nailed to the floor

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is this a book??!!! What am I supposed to do...... READ IT?????!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +56

A man and a midget walk into a bar each carrying a suitcase. They were stopping by after work.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Drumset.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A rabbit hops into a bar and sits on a stool, he then asks for a carrot, the barman didn't have a clue what he said because it was a rabbit so gives him a carrot to be generous. The bar door slams open and animal control put him in a cage and take him away. The moral of the story is that you should never let rabbits in your bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops