What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? Twister

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justin Beiber is gay. what else is there to say...

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little miss muffit sat on her tuffit eating her curds and weigh along came a spider and sat down beside her and said hey whats in the bowl?

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"Is your fridge running?" "Yes, I believe so" "You'd better go make sure, because I put some chicken in there and it didn't seem very cold to me"

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Because Goofy can walk on two legs, and is therefore superior to Pluto in Walt Disney's eyes.

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jeffrey: Do you know what happened on the 5th of november? gerald: No jeffrey: I cant remember

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what did the elephant step on when he was running through the jungle? .... a coke machine.

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What's under the first mate? The second mate.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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How do you tell when your dog is dead? I don't know. I never had a dog and my parents beat me.

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Bob fell off his roof.

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What is laying in the corner of the living room of an abandoned house and keeps getting smaller over the years? A decaying baby left there by a crack-head.

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What do you do with dead chemists? You carefully place their remnants in a casket, which is to be placed in a precisely dug hole. Once the casket is placed, you put a gravestone into the ground, signifying the chemists' date of birth and death.

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Yo mama's so fat, that we are all extremely concerned for her health.

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Give a man a fish, feed him for a week. Teach a man to fish, he'll starve to death. Provide this man a fishing rod, and now finally you're doing something helpful.

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A man in a wheelchair walked into a bar. No he didn't.

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why did the frog cross the road? because he was attached to the duck

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? One second let me count them.

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did you hear about the circus fire? it was tragic and hundreds of people were killed.

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Where's Waldo? In rehab. Waldo is in rehab.

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That's what SHE said!

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Knock Knock Whose there? I have a gun and candy, get in the van

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to his mother's funeral.

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how many friends does tomas have 0 he is a loner

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops