Q. What is brown and sticky? A. Creosote.

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What is brown and sticky? Poop

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A black man, a white man and a Mexican are in a car... Who is driving... A police man

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Why aren't jokes funny in base 8? Because 7, 10, 11.

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Haha pizza

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antijokes

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What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

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a fat man walks into a bar and gets laughed at because his shoes are untied

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Why dont you ever see any black mermaids? Mermaids dont exist.

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Q: What Jews are doing in Palestine? A: Living.

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I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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What do you call a woman with one leg? An amputee

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what do you get when you combine fire and water? alcohol

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What does this and this have in common , wait I was meant to put pictures up, aww

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting attacked by an evil demonic llama.

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Why do people where saggy pants that don't fit? They can't afford too buy new

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Q:Why do people not live forever? A: Because they die dumbass.

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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The 19th Amendment

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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Whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Your mom's so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and foods with nutritional value!!!! Oh burn!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops