Q: What did the priest say to the small child. A: Rite?

Why did the boy not eat his ice cream? He was addicted to self afflicting. The blood from one of his newer slashes oozed out on the cone which being wafer slowly got soggy. At this point the ice cream slid out of the cone as it was soggy and as he went to eat it, he found an abssence of ice cream. After this unprecedented occurance he gave up with his self harming, so all was good.

Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken so he could fry it.

Making fun of Charlie Sheen is like shooting up in a barrel.

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 1

Did you know Hellen Keller had a tree house? Yeah..neither did she.

Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

What would Steve Jobs be doing today if he were alive? Dying.

Your at your local street corner and find a woman, the fact that she has balls dose not stop you from inviting her into your car.

there once was a frog with no leggs

Knock Knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

What did the black guy, the latino guy, and the asian guy all have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantaloupe.

What did the african get for his birthday? an ounce of water, as water is very scares in his community and it is a great resource

Why Was a guy wearing Pink pants? Because He Was Gay.

The Pope walks into a bar, the barman says: "What'll it be, Pope?" But the Pope's knowledge of English is tenuous at best. He mumbles something in Latin that the barman doesn't understand. The Pope becomes frustrated and leaves.

why did the Asian father want his son to be a doctor? because he wants his son to live good life so he could have a loving family and a payable job.

"knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The SS, we heard you are smuggling jews in your attic, so you are coming with us."

A black man and a white man and a chinese man are sitting together: Cultural Diversity.

I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

Oh s***

Why did the teacher arrive late for class? Because his father had a stroke the night before, and they had to rush to the hospital and because of exhaustion, he missed the bus, and arrived ten minutes late.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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