Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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Knock knock Who is there? Your mom Your mom who? STOP WITH THIS GAME AND JUST OPEN THE DOOR!

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

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George W. Bush

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Why is it nice to wear jeans? So people don't see your undies.

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg is the same.

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What did the wall say to the other wall? I didn't say anything because it isn't living and it can't talk because it is impossible.

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The truth is he loves her!!

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Why did the Nazi doctor drown a Jew in the lake? Because he felt like it.

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How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

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chuck norris and superman had a bet. Chuck norris immediatley won because superman is a fictional character played by an actor. Chuck norris then decided to have a bet with the actor that played superman and lost

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cut it out ..but i dont have a scissor

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don't read this

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Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

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waiter there's a fly in my alphabet soup that's not a fly that's a spelling bee

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What's Green and has four wheels? A green car

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Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

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Jesus Christ walks into a bar and the bartender says "Holy crap it's Jesus!" and everyone quickly updates their Facebooks.

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There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe he woke with a fright, in the middle of the night and then went back to sleep

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What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

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What's black, white, and red all over? White on black homicide.

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Why did the girl eat a cookie? Because cookies are good.

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Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and there wasn't a sufficient wheelchair ramp at his access.

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say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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