FUCK YOU NEVEN

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A cat walks into a Chinese restaurant. It is then asked to leave.

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A dead guy laying on the floor holding a gun and a knife. What killed him? cancer.

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Don't tease the fat kids. They have enough on their plates.

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Whats brown, sweet, and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Knock knock whos there? Its me, your doorbell is obviously broken Okay, hold on a sec. Please hurry up, its really cold I cant seem to find my key Its probably on the coffeetable, where you always keep it. No, its not there Check the floor underneith Oh, right, there it is.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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Did you know? that if you were to stretch out all your organs to see how far theyd stretch? youd die.

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haha ur single hahahahahhahahahhahaahahhaahaha i am 2

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Why didn't the kid eat lunch at school? He wasn't hungry.

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Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, That's okay, I'm not colourblind.

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whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

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Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

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Q. A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for a book on suicide? A. The librarian hands the man a book on suicide

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Three ethnic minorities walk into a bar, and each does something involving alcohol that confirms a negative stereotype about his subgroup.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a prison. A gang stopped them, and said: Hey, want to play a game? Before they could run away, the gang leader told them the rules. You go over there and stand by the wall. You close your eyes, and then we fire a shotgun in your direction. The last one alive wins. They push the brunette onto the wall. She closes her eyes because she knows she's about to die and doesn't want her friends to see her crying. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. They decide it's the redhead's turn next. They move her onto the wall. Being the brightest one in the bunch, she tries to keep her eyes open. However, she blinks. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. Then the blonde bursts out laughing. "Your friends are dead. And you're about to die. Do you find that funny?" They ask. She answers. "No. It's just- I won the game!"

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy but get in the van

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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what do you call something that dosint exist? nothing.

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What's brown and dirty? Dirt.

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Her hair was fine, her scent was great, now show me your fucking ****.......please

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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