How do you make a plumber sad? Steal his plums.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What did the guy with glasses say to the guy without glasses? A: Dude your not wearing glasses.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

69

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a dog with 4 legs? A dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A homeless man gets a computer. Later that day he is found dead inside the computer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The gay man came out of the closet.....Not that he wanted the world to know about his alternative lifestyle but because he is fairly wealthy and keeps his trousers on hangers in the rear of his walk in closet.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many blondes does it take to walk into a bar? One I guess. I don't know if I understand the question.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Simon says why the hell are we playing Simon say!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

what do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind

thumb_up thumb_down +5

dick in your mouth just kidding haaaaaa

thumb_up thumb_down -7

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. What about the vampires?

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did a boy fall off the swing at a playground? He did not have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A man gets into a joan Battle. He says Lamboguini Mercy your chick so thirsty then his pponent says Shut up Your chick is thirsty beacs yours face looks like a dried orange The man runs away Then the opponent realizes His Girlfrienn just aked Him for some water

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because in between 6 and 7 there used to be the number § but 7 raped and murdered it.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Yo momma so ugly that she is unpleasant to look at

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are Red Violets are dog I'm Senile Flower tastes like frog.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Hey Jay, did you here the one about the 3 hookers at the bar? Jay didn't reply because he was deaf

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What does a cookie and the twin towers have in common? They both crumble.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

why did the boy drop his icecream? Because he got hit by a boat

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

IM SEXY AND I KNOW IT Chrysanthemums are pretty but toads and people are damn to horny

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your momma is so hot your dad married her. She then slept around with other men. Your dad found out and now they're divorced.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What do you call a nun who is just walking around? A Roman Catholic

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops