What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

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yo mamma's so stupid, she is not that smart.

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A man walks into a bar, and immediately sees a person with a big orange head seated near the back. He asked the bartender "why does that man have a big orange head?" "Buy him a drink and maybe he'll tell you." So the man bought him a drink and asked the guy with the big orange head why he has a big orange head, and he told him this story: "I was traveling in the sahara desert 10 years ago when I found a pure gold lamp in the sand. I rubbed the sand off so I could read what was on the side when a genie popped out and gave me 3 wishes. First I wished for many riches, and at once gold was all around my feet. Exited, I wished for the most beautiful wife in the world, and right in front of me appeared the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Third, I wished for a big orange head.

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your mama is so fat, she sat on the ipod touch and made the ipad.

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What did Goldilocks say to the Three Bears? No one knows. Her remains were discovered three weeks later.

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if a black man, a Chinese man, and an Indian were about to jump off the Eiffel tower, who would hit the ground first? who cares?

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What do you call a cat with no tail? A Manx cat

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What did i say to the stupid person? Your Stupid.

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A Mexican walks into a bar. He walked out with a concussion. -ilikecrepes97

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What did the lesbian say to the hot dog? "nice to MEAT you" get it the hot dog is made of meat!

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Why did the blonde stay in the five-star hotel? She had enough money.

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A car walked into a bar... wait no it didn't it has wheels.

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Your friend is so gay, he has consensual sex with other men. and enjoys it.

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wheres binladin? at the bottom of the sea wanking over amy winehouse

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A blind man walks into a bar No literally he does, he has a guide dog and everything, he's a capable member of society, don't be rude.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We have reason to believe you are hiding large amounts of narcotics in your residence and have obtained a search warrant for the premises. Open the door or we will be required to use forceful means of entry.

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the best thing about an anti-joke is when the punch line doesn't hit you, you feel no pain

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Q: What do cooks do for a living? A: Eh muffin.

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When life gives you gators, make Gatorade.

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a little boy and a pedophile are walking in the woods. it is late at night and therefore very dark. the little boy turns to the pedophile.and says "gee mister, it sure is scary out here." the pedophile responds "yeah, and your'e going to get raped"

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Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

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theres no I in Intelligence a.w. j.p.

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what do you get when you cross a baby and a car a baby shaped dent, and a dead baby

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what does a jet and plane have in common? the letter "e"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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