Why did YUR MOM cross the road? To go slap her annoying-ass twelve year old for using "your mom" as an insult.

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W. If I was one thing other then a person why would I be? M. The sun. W. Aww, so I brighten your day? M. No, you're just hard to look at.

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A janitor walks into a bar. He cleans the bar.

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Do you have ass-thma? Coz your ass is taking my breath away

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What's brown, liquid and bad for your health in large doses? Did you guess: Coca Cola? Soda? Beer? Pepsi? Wrong. It's beer. Did this Anti-joke sound pretentious? Don't worry, you're not the only one.

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why was the woman making a sandwich in the kitchen? because at the age of 3 she faced the hard reality of being nothing more in life then serving her husband to the day she die

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Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, I very sorry.

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What did the dead guy say to the other guy? "You murdered me." How did he hear the dead guy? He was dead too.

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Why was a woman crying in a corner of a room She was raped

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a train

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What would be a good feature for this site? A search by keyword feature. (sorry...)

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What did Stephen Hawking say about Stephen Hawking Anti-jokes? "They're stupid".

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How many people live in China? At least ten.

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Dad: "When I was your age, I had to walk outside to catch the school bus. If it snowed heavily the night before, school was canceled."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could DO YO MOMM!!!

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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One day an irishman walked into a bar. he started to show off his accent when a nicely dressed lady said to him, "are you from ireland?". "AYE" said the irshman. " what part of ireland are you from?" drunk, the irishman replied "uh downtown" then the woman said, " did you come here alone?" then he replied"no i didn't come here a'lone.....DONKEY!!!"

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

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Why is it bad to smoke in a public place? Because secondhand smoke may cause lung cancer.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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What did the Ethiopian get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Jeez Bill, how drunk was I last night? You took my pet parakeet, threw it at my daughter's piggy bank and yelled "ANGRY BIRDS!!!!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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