Why did the lights turn off? Because I turned them off.

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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When do doctors make house calls? When you're sick.

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When Chuck Norris dives into a pool... he gets wet due to the aqueous nature of the water

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Yo momma's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror she decided to get plastic surgery.

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How much is that doggy in the window? It's not for sale....it's waiting to be euthanized.

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I went to school. Then I came home.

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how many people can you eat? well, im not canniballistic, so none unless i was starving.

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Q: How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? A: 2 in the front, 3 in the back and 95 in the ash tray.

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Yes.

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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A black man walks into a store. As he leaves, the detector goes off. It turns out the sales clerk had forgotten to take out one of the tags on his purchase. The sales clerk promptly took it off, and the man left to enjoy the rest of his day.

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Women deserve equal rights... April fools.

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What do you call a cow without legs? Disabled.

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read down and see what it is like BEFOR MARRIAGE boy:at last.i can hardly wait! girl:do you want to leave me? boy:NO! dont even think about it! girl:do you love me? boy:ofcourse! always girl:have you ever cheated on me? boy:NO! why are you even asking? girl:will you kiss me ? boy:every chance i get! girl:will you hit me ? boy:hell no! are you crazy ? girl:can i trust you? boy:yes! girl:darling!! read up again and see what it is like AFTER MARRIAGE (L.W)

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? You don't, Pikachu is a fictional character therefore doesn't exist

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A man walks into a bar, it looked like it hurt.

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so if your riding down a big hill in your canoe and your bicycle falls out how many pancakes do you have left? you would have 200 pancakes left --sticksack

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Why did the baker have brown hands: Because he was black

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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why didn't the drug addict take steroids? he was going to but died due to years of substance abuse

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Why couldn't the little girl swing? She didn't have any limbs.

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What's worse than having to watch your dad rape your mom? Having to watch your mom rape your dad.

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A teenage girl walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic drink. The bartender declines the order as she is under the legal age of purchasing and consuming alcohol.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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