What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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What happened to the mentaly retarted gentleman walking down the street? Nothing bad. He might a very fine woman and the went to dinner shortly after.

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What's brown and sticky? Fecal matter.

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How many amish people does it take to screw in a light blub? None as the amish don't require artificial light

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Three old ladies were sitting on a bench. A man walks up and flashes them. The first old lady had a stroke. The second old lady had a stroke. The third old lady called 911 out of concern for her two friends.

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Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

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What do you call a midget cripple with cerebral palsy? Unfortunate

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have you tasted chocolate flavoured slurpee? no. i haven't either

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Theres an irishman , scottish man and a welsh man on a plane they where going to france

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He lacked the required muscular, integumentary, and nervous systems required to do so (among other essential bodily systems).

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A Scotsman, an Irishman and an Englishman walk into a bar... They enjoy their drinks and leave.

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

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Im Tom and I'm an alcoholic...

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A man walks into a bra. Bra kills him...

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Whats Brown and sticky... Shit

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A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

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How do you keep a dog from barking? Kill it.

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If you play The Binding of Isaac backwards, it's about a boy who summons Satan in hell and ascends multiple floors and eventually revives him mom by sucking in tears. He eventually becomes less of a monster until going back to his home and living hapily with his mother, completely forgetting anything had ever happened.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

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a blond walks in to a post... OUCH

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A chronic hemophilliac walks into a bar. He cuts himself and bleeds to death.

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why was the jewish man so sad because his family was killed in a bus accident and he severed his spine and cant walk ever again and his insurance couldunt pay for the bill so he is now bankrupt so he borrowed from the mafia and now owes them 100,000 in a year or they will cut off his fingers and gauge out his eyes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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