roses are red, violets are blue when ever l flush the toilet i think of you

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

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What's worse than having no coffee at the office? Looking out the window on the 100th floor and seeing the cockpit of a Boeing 767.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy This song doesn't rhyme PENIS

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A schizophrenic walks into a bar. He has dual personalities and does not realize that he has murdered his family.

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How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

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What does greg and Ian have in common?

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Women rights..

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A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

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Ol-ive

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How do you get a nun pregnant? Screw her.

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How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

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Why did Billy kill Joey? Joey had sex with Billy's wife... and Billy wanted revenge.

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A blind man walks into a bar. Then a chair. Then a table. (TD)

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i found waldo.

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What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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A guy finds a genie bottle. He rubs it. A genie appears and grant him 3 wishes. He wishes for a splendid woman, a lot of money, and a house.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a picnic table? Many things, really. Beginning with simple structural features such as the number of legs, of which there happen to be four on a generic picnic table, and two on a human being. One might observe that a typical african american male is between 5'8" and 6'2" in total length, whereas a picnic table, being made to support 6-8 people will generally be slightly longer. A black guy will generally be pictured standing upright. A picnic table is usually horizontally laid out upon a flat surface. The former is living or dead, the latter is usually nonliving, processed wood or metal. The former may move about from day to day of its own accord, the latter is completely stationary, and indeed very difficult to relocate, etc.

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

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Knock Knock I don't have a door. I'm Homeless

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? He didn't because he forgot to precede crossing the busy street with caution; therefore he was critically injured and then placed in a hospital.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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