A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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Scenario: 2 astronauts kayaking in the sahara dessert Question: How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse Answer: Purple, because ice cream has no bones

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what does rhinoceros and tomato have in common? Neither one can ride a bicycle.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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What do you call a black man who lands on the moon? An astronaut...f*cking racist.

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What do you call it when a black man and a Mexican open up a fast-food restaurant together? A joint venture.

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Priority parking for hybrid cars

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So, a Vulcan walks into a bar... and he doesn't say anything, because Vulcan's suppress their emotions.

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A black guy walks down the street. He sees a lamp, picks it up and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he has 3 wishes. The black says he wants to be thin, white, and get alot of pussy. The genie says, congadulations your a condom!!

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I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer.

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why didnt the chicken cross the road? he did cross the road

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy But I just kissed you... And I have rabies!

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Hitler Call of Duty Score Kills: 6 million Jews Deaths: 1

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Knock, Knock Come in

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A man walked into a bar. He left in a body bag.

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Why was Jimmy so bad at jumping rope? His father's car ran over an IED back in 2009. Jimmy had lost his legs in a tragic explosion.

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Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

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How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

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"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

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Why did little Jimmy drop his ice cream ? He got hit by a bus.

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My friend is a famous actor. Fooled you! I have no friends.

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Q: What did the police officer tell the man without a shirt on? A: Put a shirt on.

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What do you call George Mills? A very kind, sensitive person with a poor music taste.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops