What did the two prostitute say to each other? I dont know, i wasn't there

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There is a bird and a squirrel in a tree. Later, as a farmer walked past, the squirrel ate the bird.

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, because if it's black and white, it can't be red.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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Q: what do you call a camel with a garbage bag on its head? A: A ziploc baggie

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Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

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A rebellious teenage boy throws a dozen eggs on the street, now he has no eggs.

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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What does a cookie and the twin towers have in common? They both crumble.

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Once upon a time, there was a man. He was black. The end.

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Yo' mamma's so poor she's homeless and dying of starvation.

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why did the turtle beat the rabbit ? because the rabbit eventually got shot

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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Why did the kid stop going to school? His alarm clock broke.

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Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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What did the man with tourettes yell on an airplane? He yelled bomb, and was gunned down by 2 federal marshals, one of which's stray bullets happened to hit a small child with autism.

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What is it called when a male and a male are together. A relationship

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because seven is a murdering sociopath

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What do you call a helicopter above Hawaii? A helicopter.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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What do you call a group of men terrible at their jobs? The Mets

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry, he used lube.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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