Knock knock. I HAVE A SHOTGUN

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Penis

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What type of vision does an Asian person have? 0-0 because he is blind

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A duck walk into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender hands him a glass and the duck drinks it. After finishing his drink he ruminates about how drowning his misery with booze won't solve a thing in his life. He decided he'll call his ex-wife and apologize and goes back home.

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what's funnier than hell? heaven

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What did the boy with Aids pray for? A gun

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What's brown and smelly? Poop.

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What's worse than being killed? Reading these jokes.

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Ha ha. You've wasted your life, sucker!

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A man walks into a bar later at night & the bartender says how was your day the man replies "well I found out my mom is a raging crack addict, my grampa has alzheimer's & i have terminal cancer" how was yours the bartender says "I found out im Hitlers lost son".

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Why was Michael Jackson seen shopping at Kmart? Because he heard little boys pants were 50% off the original price.

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why could the black person jump higher than the white person. because the white person had no legs

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Three men walk into a bar. One of them is not planning to consume alcohol because they are responsible and he is the designated driver.

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Why didn't JFK Jr. shower before the plane flight? He was in a hurry.

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Robert: wanna hear a joke? Robort:ok, shoot. Robert: *BANG!*

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why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

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why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

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Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

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a white man a black man and an asian man had a few drinks at a bar. they all died from alcohol poisoning

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What the last thing that went through Osama's mind? A bullet

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So dont touch it

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The elephant moonwalked. On the moon.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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