What has the head of a lion, the body of a mule, and the penis of a seal? Nothing... what the hell did you think it was? Are you on drugs or something?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How old is your mom? Old.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

That akward moment when you tell a person you like them and they don't respond.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How did the blind man cross the road? With the use of a cane and a registered seeing eye dog

thumb_up thumb_down -16

a man is running away

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why didnt jerry trip over a slug? Because jerry is an arabian and the atmosphere in arabi is to hot for a slug.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What does a baseball and a T-Rex have in common? What? Neither of them is a carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses-are-red violets-are-blue Justin's-for -me Not-for-u if-by-chance u-take-my-place I'll-grad-fist &-smash-ur-face

thumb_up thumb_down -16

i used to think i had the coolest secret handshake with helen keller. then i realized she was talking sh*t about me

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man goes to the store to buy a kitten. While there, he decides to buy two because he is feeling particularly hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the Asian guy's condom slip? Because the condom was put on the opposite way.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why didn't the African kid eat lunch? He wasn't hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

If it looks like a chicken and acts like a chicken, its most likely not a deadly crab running towards you with a knife that has rabies and is afraid of towels.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What's the difference between a ginger and a brick? Bricks get laid

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the car drink Slurpies? I don't know. Why? Doorknob. Carl was unsure on what his friend, Frank meant when he told his joke, but then again who IS sure? Frank is the only one who truly knows what happened that day on August 13th 2010 when his mother came over for a surprise visit to her son's house just as Frank was heading out the door about to get in his truck and buy groceries, unaware that his mother was standing outside and bending over to ring the door bell not to expect Frank opening the door with his quick and violent actions thus hitting his mother in the face as the door swung open. Frank hadn't known his mother was at his house nor even remembered him but there she was, past out bleeding to death on his front lawn. It was Frank's fault that day, when his mother past away and reason why Frank hides his anger through his jokes. If only he hadn't opened that door he tells himself every night. Now he's cursed himself with his odd humour of using doorknobs as punchlines to hide his grief of his loss. And with that, Carl replies; Ummm.... I don't get it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

my whole life!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

One time at band camp, I advanced my clarinet skill, which led me to have a good life.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Women's sports

thumb_up thumb_down +35

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +13

An American, a Mexican and a Cuban are in a car. For they are heading to the store to buy groceries and then come home to make dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you leave a jackass in suspense? I'll tell you later.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ouch!" Later that day, the man's daughter takes him to the doctor because he's acting strangely. The doctor gives him an MRI and the daughter is told that her father sustained severe brain damage from the injury. Now the daughter has to juggle taking care of her father, taking care of a child she bore from a drunken one-night stand, and recovering from her meth addiction at a rehab facility, all while making minimum wage at her dead end job. Eventually she hangs herself, leaving her father and child to slowly die on their own.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops