marble

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A women frantically calls the doctor and says, " Doctor, doctor, give me the news! I have a bad case of loving you."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Who's black, white and Asian at the same time? A panda.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

a little boy goes down stairs on xmas day he has three presents the first one was a pair of socks the second one was a football and the third one was shin pads the boy was now crying really loud santa is outside laughing why? the boy has no legs

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did 0 dislike 1? Because 1 made 0 feel like he was nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what do you call a Palestinian with a large blade at the throat of an Israeli? a barber

thumb_up thumb_down -7

The Game.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock! Just kidding.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Yo Mama so slow She can't run very fast.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: Why did Katie fall of the swing? A: Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Katie

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Nicki Minaj walks into a bar... there's no punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

I tried frying some fish today, and it started sizzling at me. I took it as a direct threat and started yelling at the stove. Eventually it stopped and dinner was ruined, but I was proud of myself for winning.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q:Whats the difference between a black man and a park bench? A: A park bench can support a family.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are shut the f*** up. Violets are shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

i drive all the time its no big deal open the door and get behind the wheel

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Yo Dawg, I heard You Like Kittens and Volcanoes... So, I threw Your Kitten In A Volcano.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Who is Jim Wonderbread? A whorrible person

thumb_up thumb_down -43

A man walks into a Library and asks for a book on suicide. The Librarian says: "Do you have a library card?" The man says no, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +692

Why did Oscar masturbate? He was on life support?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops