so there are 2 muffins in an oven,1 says to the other "holy s**t its hot in here!" and the other says,"omg!its a talking muffin!"

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why didnt the girl laugh at the joke? because it wasnt funny

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Why did the boys uncle stop calling him? His uncle died of cancer 3 months ago.

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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what do you say to a black man with a Porsche? "hey man, i like your car."

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your carmel apple, which costs about 35 cents more on average.

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Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, it's not that hard.

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why did the chicken cross the road Kill yoself

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What do you call 20 Investment Bankers buried to their necks in sand? A team building exercise at the beach sponsored by an Investment Bank.

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Why didn't the man kiss his wife. Because he had no lips.

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Yo mama so old, she must take arthritus medicine to keep out of extreme pain.

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There is this dylectic who can't spell.

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Knock Knock. F uck off.

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Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

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why dont black people go on cruises? there not falling for that one again

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What is better than life? Nothing.

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Lightening never strikes the same place twice. But it killed both my parents.

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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I GOT YOUR BUTT PUSSY!

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Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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