A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the goat say to the dolphin dogs don't lay eggs

thumb_up thumb_down +1

that krista chich from the below joke accepted me as a friend, then she blocked me. haha WOW, she realy is a bitch.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the Chinese guy's favorite color? Blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Having a self-conscious baluga hold a gun on you while you hand him all the money you have on you, then realizing balugas are creatures indigenous to aquatic regions, and then realizing you are deep under water and are probably about to die from suffocation

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the cute little girl get for Christmas? Raped

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken was locked in a cage and the nearest intersection is about a mile away.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

So a clown walks up to you and asks, "What'll always STICK with you? The violent disposition of humanity."

thumb_up thumb_down -41

This is my first attempt at making an anti-joke: That's was it.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Where does Osama bin Laden do his shopping? He doesn't, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the English man walk into a bar? Do get an alcoholic beverage to temporarily forget the pain of his recent divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: how do you test the sharpness of a knife A: stab someone MR

thumb_up thumb_down -12

If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

thumb_up thumb_down -12

a duck walks into a restraunt.and the waiter asks "what would you like?" a quacker (like cracker)

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Curiosity killed the cat and was sentenced to prison for animal abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats worse than spilling the milk? Getting raped by the easter bunny.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q) A Christian, slightly disabled but perfectly capable man has a packet of Jaffa Cakes. He strolls casually toward the edge of a cliff, rapidly checking his watch. The man slowly examins the packet before gradually opening the packaging. First the box, then the packet. He quickly throws the jaffa cakes over the edge of the cliff, Why? A) The man doesnt like jaffa cakes

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happened when the boy fell off of the bridge? He died

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why is the child screaming? Because he just woke up from a bad dream.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How Many Chickens does it take to make an egg? NOrmally 2

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What Do you call a black priest? Holy shit!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is funny about civil and women's rights? Nothing, they are very serious matters.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops