Q: Why did the cow cross the road? A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the girl throw butter out the window? She was suffering from an epileptic seizure.

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. The first muffin did not look over to the other one and did not talk to it because muffins are objects and do not have the ability to communicate.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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An Asian couple walks into a bar, orders a few drinks, pays, and leaves

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Did you hear about the deer? He had antlers. If antlers where a kind of disease, that would be a pun.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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Oh wow, I've never seen one that big before. Thats what the 12 year old boy said as he starred at the the Great Pyramid of Pharaoh Khufu.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he f**king felt like it!

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family!

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What's one thing good about cancer? (make them guess) Nothing you fricking prick!

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Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

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You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

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Guess what What

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What do you call 10 old black people in a barn? Used farm equipment

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What's the easiest way to become filthy rich? There are many ways to earn money. Invest some time into researching the topic.

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What is the worst thing to say to a dying person? After you die I'm going to defile your corpse, nan.

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im dylan, i wank over teabaging people on cod

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What do you call a black man with mishap-in head scares on the left side of his face and a 3rd degree burns on the right side? a very unfortunate guy.

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What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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What's similar between a boat and a plane? Both can fly except for the boat

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How do you get a cat off a swing? You throw a dog at it.

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What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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