Stephen Hawkings was ice skating on the Eiffel Tower... then he woke up.

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Why didn't Sally go to the party? Because everybody hates her and she wasn't invited.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Horses that lose Are made into glue

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Why did the guy to the moo moo cow say? Yesterday, I took a crap at the restaurant and the toilet got stuck so I stole the vehicle and won the lottery.

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Whats green and smells like a red apple? A green apple

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PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DONT THUMBS UP THIS LIKE POST THIS ON 20 MESSAGES OR YOU'RE BEST MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR LIFE WITHIN THE NEXT 7 DAYS

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What do you call a black person who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Robert Muldoon: "Clever girl..." Velociraptor: "I appreciate your compliment, but I will still eat your face."

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How did the Muslim blow up? He accidentally left his gas on and after a while sparked up a cigarette.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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whats green and slimy? green slim

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Send creepy emails to this email address: matt.harrington@highlandcatholic.org

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What did the guy who dropped his iPhone do? He went out and bought a knew one.

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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How many ecotards does it take to change a light globe? Ve Vill Change all ze light globes to use;less grey vuns and you vill luv it or else ve vill kill you to save ze planet

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there's 4 men, a rabbi, a priest, a monk, and a captain. they all go on the captain's ship for a cruise with a couple hundred people. this was during the cold war, and the ship was mistaken for a war ship, and the russians missled it. the monk says: "we have to get everyone off the ship!" the rabbit say: "NO! the women and children need to get off first! And we should also hail to Satan!" the Captain says: "OMG! It's a talking Rabbit!" the priest then stops the rabbit to death!" the rabbi says: "The rabbit is right! But just the children!" The Captain says: "Screw the children! this ship is going to Hell, we have talking animals saying we should worship the devil!" the priest says: "Do you think we have time" the monk, the rabbi, and the captain stare and beat him to death.... "Well, he was already going to Hell" the Monk says. But during this entire time the ship has been sinking and another missle blows up the ship. Everyone dies, except for Sean Conery...and Chuck Norris.

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What did your mom get for christmas ? A stairstepper.

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How do you make Bill Gates poor? You take all of his money

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What do an Eagle and a sugar cube have in common? The fact that if let to disintegrate they both turn slowly to hydrogen after a period of time.

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This is a haiku Haikus are not really jokes Congratulations!

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Q: What do you call a black man in space? A: An astronaut. -Ap

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Your momma so fat when she went to the beach she was to self concious and left her shirt on.

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Womens Rights.

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Me and me!!!! LOL! i'm a comedian!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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