What happened when they asked Steve if he was feeling blue? He confessed and went to prison for a long time for molesting that poor dog.

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One time there was a guy who jumped off a bridge and died

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A black man, Jew, and Asian walk into a bar... What does the bartender say? get out.

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What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

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what happened to the girl that didn't forward the threatening chain text to ten people? nothing.

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how do women get from the kitchen to the bedroom? they walk there.

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what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Knock, knock ... ... No one answers the door because knocks produce a quieter sound than a doorbell and the residents of the house are upstairs watching a movie.

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Reverse psychology never fails.

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Hey I just met? you and this is crazy I have alzheimers Hey I just met you

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Little Davie was a kid with no arms and legs and one day his friends Came to his house and knocked on the door and asked for little Davie And asked if he wanted to come play baseball..Little Davie replied "I'd Love to but I have no arms or legs" his friends say we know that..We were Just needing a second base..

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Q: What's worse than seeing a scorpion A: being stung by that scorpion

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I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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trumpy trumpy trump

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What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

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Sex with people under twelve years/MONTHS? You think I am a pervert or something? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: DAMN STRAIGHT I AM! People use to tell me they know I am good on the inside... Joke is on them, I I fool them all by being slightly kind on the outside!

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How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the first monkey? why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure.

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Why are pirates called pirates? Because it derives from the Latin word, pirata.

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Jeff comes home from a long day at work. As a result he is very tired. So, he decides to go to bed.

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What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

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Why is the beach always so angry? The beach is just sand and waves and lacks sentience, but makes up for it in crabs.

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How could you ever watch a man hit another man and say nothing? UFC is on at 9:00pm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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