what's the difference between your grandmother and a dead squirrel? Technically, if you burn them both, your grandmother will produce more ash, but apart from that, they are both useless pieces of carbon.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet

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Aladdin found a rusty old lamp at the foot of a mountain. He rubbed it and the Ginnie had died after the long drop from the cliff

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Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Elton John? They're both gay.

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? One has a penis, and one has a vagina.

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The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a fetish for sniffing your shoes.

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Why didn't the giraffe go to the zoo party? He didn't receive an invitation.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One turns to the other and says, "Boy, it sure is hot in here!" The other one replies, "OMG, A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

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Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I am color blind

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What were the pilots' of Malaysia Airlines Missing plane favourite programs? Lost...

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LALALALA MUSIC MACHINE

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What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

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Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

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Roses are red violates are blue, matty is gay, sebby is too

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What's the difference between Jews, Muslims & Christians? Religious beliefs.

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the person above me ^ lost his virginity to a howler monkey and the person below me was his gay friend untill he found out about his recent run in with a howler monkey and does not wish the same fait as he does.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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How do you make a blond cry? Rape her

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How do you take a Mexican's money? You can't because they have none.

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Why did the cat die? Johnny put in the microwave.

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at checkers? Cause he's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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