What did the zombie eat for breakfast? You. You fell a-sleep

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stevie wonder watched a movie yesterday

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Why did susie fall off the swing? Because an arrow penetrated her head.

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A man walks into a bar. He pulls out a knife, shoots the bar tender, and then kills himself.

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Why was the kid crying Cuz there was a frog stapled to his head

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roses are blue violets are blue everything is blue I'm sad now

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like pussy Because it feels really good when I stick my penis inside her vaginal opening

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What is worse than stubbing your toe. Being shot

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Why did the girl throw the clock out of the window? The clock was broken, and it was the only valuable object in her possession.

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

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what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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whats the difrence between a japaneese and chineese person? one is from japan and one is from china.

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Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

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What did the cheese say to his friend, who was also a cheese, before the cheese took a picture? ''Cheese''.

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What do you call a man with no arms an no legs in the ocean? Bob What do you call the same man on your front porch? Matt What do you call the same man on your wall? Art

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There were two smokestacks, a little one and a big one. One day, the little one said to the big one, "I'm tired of being the lesser of two smokestacks!"

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Woman's rights.

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Why did Johnny stop walking halfway to school? A fridge fell on him.

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Why did the doctor have no peins? She was a woman.

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra

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Why was six afraid of seven? because seven has cold, dead eyes.

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how do you complete an exam. dont be kaizen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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