what's the funniest joke? wish i knew

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock Who's there? A mormon *slam*

thumb_up thumb_down +32

An Asian Woman is late and is driving her car very fast to her daughters wedding. She arrives at a reasonable time to witness the whole event.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What do you call a man with no arms? A: A Man with no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Wanna see me count to ten? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the cow hail a taxi? Because cows can't drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, Violets are blue, And really aggravate my allergies.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Hum... I am actually a redhead... Which is so strange saying to anyone including myself, I dye it like constantly.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

What did the paper say to the pen? Nothing, they are inanimate objects!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? What? I don't have a Corvette in my garage Wanna hear something gross? Sure. 1 at the bottom is still alive. Wanna hear something grosser? Yea. It's eating its way out

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? The doctor prescribes him tablets to treat his bi-polar tendencies.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did God say to the priest while he was masturbating.... ... God doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A: Rock! B:Paper! C: Siccorz! D: Shoot! D: Jimmy, you alright buddy? I didn't mean for that bullet to hit you man..

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

all the kids had fun

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats the difference between babies and a dart board? Dart boards dont bleed

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a jew in a room full of gold? I highly improbable scenario in which the circumstances of how this "man" seemingly got into a gold room are unexplained.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's endangered like the Spotted Owl? A Cancer patient.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops