A dancer walks into a barre

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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What would you do if I said a horse ate your mother? It doesn't mattet, I didn't

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Three men on a journey stop at a farm and ask the farmer if they might be allowed to stay the night. The farmer consents upon one condition: that the visitors not lay a hand on his daughter. The men respected the farmers wishes and left in the morning.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They don't speak to each other because muffins do not have the ability to make speech. After being in the oven for several minutes at 375 degrees, they are removed, left to cool, and were eaten. They were good.

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whats stupid and likes dumb jokes? you.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

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What did the black guy say to you when you took his fried chicken Give me back my chicken

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Uh no, yogurt as in the bacteria that they add to milk in order to make the finished product yogurt. You see, while the effect is seen in twins (for example if one twin gets raped, the other gets a fucking sore ass) Sorry, I am still under trance here myself, you get out of it, I am gonna have some fun, go splash some water on your face. I mean people go like "woah that is impossible it only happens in rare cases and so on right?" Fun stuff: Yogurt, you can seal yogurt in a steel container miles away after separating its culture (basically having a colony living together and then moving them away from each other as in 30000 kilometers and sealing them in soundproof safe`s and whatnot. Feed one half of the yogurt, and the other one far far away begins munching into thin air, now keep the food close to the yogurt, and the bacteria will begin "begging for it" (as in when baby chicks notice the parent has arrived with food), and so will the culture of yogurt sealed in a safe 30000 miles away. Why? Living in similar states, brings a natural connection, we are attracted to similarities, and as far as the human knowledge of the LAW of attraction goes, distance is not a factor, look it up, or just believe me.

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Q: What did the Kool-Aid Man say when he crashed through a wall? A: "OW! That hurt!"

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How did Jimmy know that his neighbor was a serial killer? He didn't... Jimmy's dead now

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Why did the tornado cross the road? Cuz it's a tornado. Don't question it. Run.

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WHATS A GREAT RAVE TUNE KANE !!!!! TUCKER !!!!!!!! DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

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What do a bike and a duck have in common? They both have handlebars except for the duck.

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A man walks down the street past a flamboyant homosexual male and kills him in a hate crime. This homosexual was Dylan Glogowski

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Q. What did Nelson say to his men before they boarded ship? A. "Board ship men"

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You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This line doesn't rhyme Neither does this one.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller read? Tree sap.

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why was the baby crying? cause his abusive father broke his arm.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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Where did Susie go during the explosion? On her knees to catch it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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