Knock knock. Who's there? Auntie.

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What's 21 and pregnant? Ariana Grande

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What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? ... Well, do you know or not?

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Why is this an anti-joke? Are you laughing? Exactly.

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What did the you know what screw this I'm sick of making these stupid jokes there all the same. Hang on hang on What did the pirate do to the dog yes This style of joking is so different I'm going to be a famous comedian oh wait there's a whole bloody website full of these. O look another one and another one and another one that knife over there looks really nice right now

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Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

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Why did the girl scream for help? She was being raped.

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What smells like dead rats? Dead hamsters

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How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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Q. What do black people, Asians, and Irishmen call their moms? A. "Mom"

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I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

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PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN cil you have such a dirty mind

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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What do communists and strawberries have in common? You can eat them.

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How long does it take to microwave a baby? I don't know, I was to busy masterbating. GBW

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Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

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What is BIG, STIFF, AND FULL OF SEMEN!!!? A SUBMARINE!!!!!!!

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What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

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Yo mama so ugly... she has an extremely bad burn on her face.

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How do you get really high at home? You climb a ladder

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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