How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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Homeless man....it's what's for dinner!

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how do you get expelled? Rape a special ed kid.

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why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

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*knock knock* "who's there?" "me, the person who knocked..duh"

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What did the chicken say to the cow? Cluck cluck Knock knock Who's there Chicken Chicken who? Chicken go cluck cluck, cow go moo Piggie go oink oink, how 'bout you?

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an elephant is like a guy but its nose is the di**

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What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

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A duck walks into a doctor's office. Quack.

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Why did the maid clean the house? Because that's her job, ya moron.

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What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Today I was reading anti jokes. At first I didn't get it, but then I figured it out and...ah crap, why am I writing this, it's just going to get thumbed down...

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A haiku for you Would not provide enough space To say all the nice

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Eating a bagel, the man was overcome with disappointment, he thought that he had purchased a donut. He later hung himself.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to commit suicide

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nathan your cats dead now...well hopefully

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There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

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What do you call a woman with a penis? A Hermaphrodite.

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There was a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Gay Man on a plane. The plane was going down. The Priest said "amen". The Rabbi said "amein". The Gay Man put his penis in the rabbi's asshole.

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I tried to call my friend in Haiti. It went straight to vibrate.....

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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What's brown and Rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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Women's Rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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