Knock knock. Come in.

What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Charlie. The fact that the man is an idiot is irrelevant.

A man walks into a bar. He is an alcohol and it is killing his family.

Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

Where do five gay guys walk? Where ever they want to. This is a free country, where people are free to travel as the please, no matter what their sexual orientation may be

What does a Twihard, a Brony, a Belieber and a Gleek all have in common? They all ruin the Internet.

Why did the chicken refuse to cross the road? Yo dawg, dat chicken saw dat hoe Sally crossin da road, dat biatch got hit wit a fridge. Dat chicken was like "hell naw, yall must be trippin, i aint finna die over dat shiet homie, peace!"

What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A: He got hit by an axe.

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

2 snare drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.... ba dooom chesh

Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

What's sicker than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill death ratio

What did the boy say 9+9 was? The Holocaust

Patient- Doctor, I am feel intense feeling for 15 year old pop singers!!! Doctor- Oh, sound like youve got Beiber Fever. Patient- Whew. I thought it was something serious Doctor- Its terminal, you have about 5 more days to live.

Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to a chicken

Why were the parents sad? Because their son had a frog stapled to his face and was trying to eat his ice cream on a swing, but he had no arms so he dropped his ice cream into the street and he chased after his ice cream and got hit by a bus

How tall is the grass in Germany? ZIS HIGH! *put hand about an inch and half off the ground* I mow it about every ozher week

What did the convicted child molester say to the little girl? Nothing, they cut his tongue out in prison.

what is pink stinky? your butthole lol

What's behind Chuck Norris' beard? His chin

woman's rights

Knock knock Who's there? Doug I'm sorry Doug, I cannot answer the door, as I am a parrot well trained in English. But am locked in a cage.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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