A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street when they see an orphanage on fire. "Oh my god!" says the rabbi. "We have to save the children!" "Screw the children!" says the priest. "Out of what?" replies the rabbi.

If you were in a room with Osama bin Laden, Hitler, and a black guy and you had two bullets, who would you shoot? Seeing as this situation is logically impossible considering that Adolf Hitler died in the year 1945 and Osama bin Laden was born in the year 1957, I would be in a room with just a black guy and two bullets. Then I would proceed not to shoot the black guy on the fact that I enjoy the talking and learning about cultural diversities between the black and white races.

A man walks into a bar and says "hey, it's me!". Turns out that wasn't him.

What's small, pale blue and sits at the bottom of the pool? "An over ripe blueberry."

Why did the beautiful girl get the job over the not so beautiful looking girl She was more qualified

Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

How do you punish Helen Keller? Set a restriction on something she enjoys that is equal to the degree of her misbehavior.

Pee Pee bleekkka klup look? fupapapapapapapapap

Why did the chicken cross the road? why? Womens rights

Roses are Red, I have a phone, Nobody texts me, Forever alone.

chuck norris's daughter lost her virgenatie but he got it back

Why are black people faster than white people? They are descended from a lineage where athleticism was more greatly selected for in the evolutionary process.

hi

Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

What did the German say to the Rabbi? Hello. The German was also Jewish

a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

What is holocaust victim's favorite food? Hamburgers.

What's the same about eggnog and a computer? You can search the web. Except that's only true for one of them.

What do you call an elderly women who after the death of her late husband had many enconters witb men? A whore.

What do you do when your internet goes down? You right click on the internet connection and try to fix the problem.

What does a kangaroo and a zucchini have in common? Neither one can ride a bike.

Why is Abraham Lincoln a bad driver? Because he is dead.

Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Ah, come in!

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a dog

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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