Why did the other Albino cross the road? He was running away from a witch doctor who was going to brutally murder him and steal his body parts.

A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

how did hitler fit 100 Jews in his car??? he couldn't, his car only fits 5 people.

Not much of an anti joke but here we go... - What do you get when you cross a jew and a potato? - A Baked potato!

How do you make a clown cry? Kill his wife and kids.

why did the boy cry because i punched him so hard in the face he shit out his teeth for the next three weeks

An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

roses are red violets are twisted turn around bitch your about to get fisted

What is the square root of 69? 8.30662386

What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

what is 2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2-2+2x0 20

Why did the monkey ride a bike? Because he was taken from his natural environment, abused for years and forced to ride a bike.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running from its imminent death. It was being chased by a dog with a shark's head and chainsaws for legs. It was only delaying the inevitable.

Kinky = using a feather Perverted = using the whole chicken Weird = using chicken bones Downright disgusting = all of the above, plus a cat

Doctor: You want the good news or bad news? Patient: Bad news. Doctor: You have terminal cancer. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have AIDS.

who's a slut... you're mom

Who the heck do you think you are?! Ally...duh

I went to the bookstore to buy me a Where's Waldo book. I looked through the store and couldn't find it anywhere.... Well played waldo, well played.

i am iron man running over fat kids in my van

pudding

There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

What do you get when you cross a Lion and a Shark? You would likely get trouble, seeing as its both animals are quite dangerous and crossing even one of them is ill advised.

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love brought to me Nothing, because we only celebrate one day of Christmas

What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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