Q: Why are lizards broke? A: Because they run around the desert with no money.

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How do you stop clowns from throwing cinderblocks at your car? Hire a hitman.

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What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

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mom and dad went into the bedroom after a long day at work the fell asleep

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do you have a wife?

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What do you call a gay scientologist? His first name or last name, depending on how close you 2 are.

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when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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How do you make etheopians rave ? glue bread to the roof

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Knock knock

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Why do they call Jean a redneck? Because her neck was red from being in the sun for so long.

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How much do polar bears weigh? Between 800 and 1600 pounds

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How many dead babies can you fit in a cooler? 5. using a blender to puree` = 9

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charly ate an apple. the apple was filled with poison and charly died.

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What's funnier than killing a bunch of orphans? Pretty much anything is funnier than that. What's wrong with you?

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What did the dead Catholic say to Atheist? Nothing. Dead guys can't talk!

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What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

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The President, a terrorist, a student, and a genius were on a crashing plane. They all died.

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What Do You Call a Hawk in Virginia? A Hawk What Do you Call a Hawk that lives in Virginia? Virgian Hawk

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What did the snow flake which could talk say to the other snow flake which could talk None of us are the same.

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Sometimes sentences just don't end the way that you think they potato

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i hate when mothers said " clean your room" me " why " mom " because we have guest coming " me " oh i am sorry i didn't know we are all gathering in my f**king room

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How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I eat mop I eat mop who? That's strange, most American's don't eat poo I'm Asian

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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