What did the farmer that lost his tractor say? Wheres my tractor?

What do you call a kid with cancer? screwed

What kind of fire alarm does a zebra not like? One that doesn't work

Knock knock? Who's there? Herpes. Bummer.

Thumbs up if you're reading this in 2015!

why was 6 afraid of 7?

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already taken her police statement and she doesn't want to discuss the incidentit anymore until her lawyer arrives.

Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

A guy walks into a bar and says "ouch!" The bartender says "are you okay?" "Yeah I just stubbed my toe" Then the guy walks it off, and then orders a drink.

What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

What did the circle say to the square? Ur a square

Whats In My Trash? Bears

Why did the little boy drop his ice-cream? He was run over by a bus and died instantly.

Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

I am black. And i will beat your children. At checkers. They can be the red .

What is red and ragging? A Hemorrhoid

Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

What did the doctor say to his patient? You have AIDS.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs.

Q. What do you get if you cross a suspicious person with a paranoid person? A. Who wants to know

* two sisters are making yo mam jokes* * mom turns around* mom: Hey yo mama so stupid ... sister one: ummmm.... sister two: sure thats not you?

what did Russell wilson get for Christmas a seahawk..

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? (Other): "Because the P is silent." Because they're extinct.

Q: Why did the guy ring the doorbell? A: Because he was sick of all the crappy knock-knock jokes

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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