Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Where do farmers retire their used farm equipment? The tree in their backyard.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why was the little boy late for school? Because he was hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q : Why was the little girl crying? A : Because she tripped and hurt her knee.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man walks into a music store and hears dubstep playing in the background and he says, "Ugh! I hate dubstep!" Suddenly the clerk gets extremely offended and says, "Haters gonna be gay!" The man chuckles at the clerk's remark and shakes his head. "No no no silly," He said. "Haters gonna not be deaf." He says shaking his head as he walks out. The clerk tries to elaborate on what the man meant, but he realizes he cannot hear his thoughts.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I only like NY as a friend.

thumb_up thumb_down

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Yo mama is so hairy! Then only language she speaks is Chinese

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Justin

thumb_up thumb_down -40

did you know Helen Keller had a dog? neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the black man say to the Jewish man Nothing, because they were walking on the street and did not know each other

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Doctor! Doctor! There is a fly in my soup! Moral: Huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Statutory Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats worse then nailing ten babies to a tree? Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Comedian: Do you all wanna hear a joke? Audience: Yeah!!! Comedian: Okay! What did the bad comedian say to the audience? Audience: What?!! Comedian: Chicken butt. Thank you, you've been a great crowd. Good night!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man with Tourettes walks into his Daughter's kindergarten classroom. Fortunately, he was able to control himself and refrain from any outbursts of profanity during the visit.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

An asian man walks into a taxi. The driver asked which chinese or electronic store woupd u like to go to?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's faker than Nicki Minaj's tits? Women rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

do you want my comeback? its in your mums mouth

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A schizophrenic man walks into a bar. He has split personalities and does not realize that he has murdered his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

If X = 3 and Y = 7, what is X + Y = ? It doesn't matter. You forgot to put your name on the test which means you got an automatic fail.

thumb_up thumb_down

If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call an German with a knife in his leg ? An ambulance as he has a serious leg wound and will soon die of blood loss

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops