What's the difference between Justin Bieber and a gay guy? They're both gay

thumb_up thumb_down +27

On Tuesday mornings at 7:32 a.m., what is the square root of 31? I don't know, because it would be an irrational number of which is not possible to calculate without the aid of a calculator. However, the date and time would not affect the answer.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What happened to the jew that donated? Stop thinking, jews dont donate.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why did katy fall off her bike?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

HOLY COW!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your family is dead, I killed them.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why shouldn't you throw rocks at a black guy on a bike? A: Because he could sustain serious injury if a rock hits him in the head, not to mention it is extremely rude.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why couldn't the black guy support his family? He was only 3 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the German girl say to me? entschuldigen Sie (excuse me)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the goat cross the street? It was running away from the Tsunami

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Your Mother is so pretty that she does not need make-up.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Tomorrow, today's yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why does the man with no legs call for help? because he woke up to find that he had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A moth walks into a podiatrist's office. The podiatrist says, "Moth, what's the problem?" And the moth says, "What's the problem. Well, doc, where do I begin? Every day I get up to another cruel sky. It's like the sun is mocking me as I begin the gruelling preparations for another 8-hours of slogging in meaningless toil for my boss, Gregor McIvanichisky. A grey self, captive in a grey cubicle in a grey office with no windows that I might see the grey clouds beyond... I just sit in my cubicle as I feel the throbbing ache of the best days of my life being raped away into a monotonous, forgettable slurry of irrelevant corporate drudgery. I don't know what I'm doing, I don't think my boss even knows. All he knows is that he has power over me. And my children...my daughter is always on her cellphone, texting and emailing. I haven't spoken real words to her in weeks. My oldest son is never home and when he is, he's locked in his room listening to angry music. My youngest son, he's only 4, I look at him and he asks me to play... and I feel nothing. No love, no tenderness... just a void. And when I look in the mirror...I don't recognize the face staring back at me. It's aged so much from the boyish looks I remember. The years have carved deep lines of despair, worry and anguish. Dark, hollow eyes where once gleamed hope and excitement. Thin lips unable to find the smile of the happy, old days. If only I could find the courage to reach over to the side table and remove the loaded gun. And then find the strength to pull back that hammer as the chamber rotates, clicking solidly into place...Raising it to my temple for the final squeeze that will erase the last shreds of my existence from this cold grave of a life wasted away." And the podiatrist says, "Well, Moth, you're in pretty rough shape. You need to get some help. But why did you come to me? You need a psychiatrist!!" And the moth says... "Because the light was on."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between a brick and a baby? One is a fundamental item used in building walls and the other is a human

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I was going to type an anti-joke but I totally forgot how it starts. It goes something like something something something something something your mom's a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road it was out of its coop

thumb_up thumb_down +24

roses are black violets are black i am blind

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's brown and liquidy? Brown paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

yolo mother f-uckaaaa

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats big, round and orange? A big round orange

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops