Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a Mafia boss so they put him in prison.

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Y' can't spell rape without ape.

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Justin Beiber

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what did the farmer say to the cow on the roof? get down.

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Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? A:Pull the pin and throw it back

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a bald man walks into a hairdressers and demands beans on toast.

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How do you make time fly? Well! You cannot really make time fly. Imean, yeah, iguess it feels like time flies when your having fun, but it moves just as fast as always!

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God saw himself. Finally, proof.

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What's black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

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a kid calls 911 and says ,"is this 911?" and the operator says ,"NO! THIS IS PATRICK!!!!!!"

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If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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Your mother is so succsessfull that she can have any job she wants, she is probally going to stick with her current job though, She is a lawyer.

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Why did I kill the Muslim because I'm smart

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"Behold, the greatest invention Man has ever seen!" exclaimed the inventor of eyes.

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What did the pope do when he saw the grinch? He prayed for his soul.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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What is the difference between a cow and a pig? To get to the other side.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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What is this, a center for ants? No, this is a model of the building proportionally smaller than the one we will be building.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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What do you eat for breakfast and is sometimes blue? Pancakes.

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Flop dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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