Q:what do you call a black man in a wheel chair? A: a war veteran who accidentally stepped on a land mine while trying to protect his country.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -74

A man walks into a bar and shuffles his way through the intoxicated patrons. He finds the only open stool and quickly sits in it before any other see it. The bartender approaches him and ask: "What will it be?" The man replies: "Can I have a beer?"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's black and white, and red all over ? An interracial couple who were both gruesomely decapitated in a freak car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

your mammas so big that she needs paint rollers to put on lipstick

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the man get when he found a genie in a lamp? The rest of his life in an asylum for schizophrenia.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What's 9+10 20+1-1-1+2-1-1+1-2+1

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call a black man who flies planes? A pilot, what do you call him you freaking racist!?!?!?!?!?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What did the bear say to the mouse? Roar.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A guy, arriving at the pearly gates of Heaven, asks St. Peter "Why did I die? Why me." St. Peter replies: "You died the same way everyone does. Lack of oxygen to the brain."

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Me: Ask me if in a giraffe You: Are you a giraffe Me: no

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what's the difference between a pile of shit and a human. a human has a mind, a pile of shit doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Do you know what's funny about the holocaust? Nothing, it was an unspeakably evil act by a deranged man who should never have been given the power to command a nation

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

how many drunk drivers does it take to drive home one and only one, if more than one drunk driver tried to drive home at the same time in the same car they would surely crash and not make it home.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A praying mantis is very graceful

thumb_up thumb_down -20

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

thumb_up thumb_down -159

Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a badger and a TV? Alot.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops