Pff, "Axel", you are a fucking amateur, I can convey your fucking message in two lines, and one and a half of those lines would be fucking swearing and insults. I am done with the fucking underground society, it used to be a great place for people to discuss real world matters rather than be blinded by the fucking lies of the media, and yes religion, if you ever worked for me, you know that the fucking bible is a textbook example of every goddamn brain washing technique there is. But if you where ever my allumni, id expect you to use those methods sparringly and only when neccesary. No wonder people consider you a fucking cultist, you use your fucking methods as smoke and mirrors rather than letting "your people" know, and teach them that you just use a bunch of verbal tricks. Mental-ism is not magic, and neither should it be implied to be part of the surreal, while I respect your ideology, you have misused it to acquire power and wealth from those you claim to protect, and while you do convey some good ideals, you are far too arrogant and ignorant for the role you have given yourself. Besides, even if you could protect "your people" as you claim you can, who the fuck is supposed to protect the rest from them?! That is some hard core methods you are abusing "Axel", and you know it, if you claim to be anti religion, then stop using the very same methods they do without teaching people how the methods work first! Moral: Never underestimate me, I enjoy behaving like a jackass, but it does not mean that I am one, as for you, you are a jackass which likes behaving like someone worthy of respect. I am still at the fucking hospital, so if you want some guidelines, speak here, and if you cant send me your contact information so we can chat on a proper phone, I will only have to assume that you are either a coward for not revealing your location to an obviously superior man ...Or... ...that... ...you... Are a fucking coward little bitch that simply keeps on hiding behind the people he claims to protect and shield! Start by admitting that I am far beyond your puny knowledge, and I might throw in a few lines of assistance. Moral 2: You are fucking using horse head network as we speak! I use it for bullshit and "iron manning", you shame the remains of the underground society for using it as means of "encoded messages" and at all!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two muffins are put in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "is it just me or is it getting hot in here?". The other muffin says,"HOLY CRAP!!!!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!".

thumb_up thumb_down +18

WHATS A CRUM AND LIVES IN A SLUM ?? A BOY CALLED KEVIN CRUMMY

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats massive, long, hard, cold, and is blue? A penis in an ice cube.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why cant Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukaemia.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

thumb_up thumb_down -9

knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q:What did sandy say to spongebob A:Nothing they were both crushed by the water pressure of being at the bottom of the ocean ni,gger

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was darren too late for school today...? She got hit by the bus

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you get a woman to stop nagging? Smack her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what is the difference between a picture of brooklyn decker and my grandma....i jack off to the picture of my grandma

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yo' mama's so black the dark couldn't even see her.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There was a black and a mexican man in a car. Who was driving? None of them; it was the police driving.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

VITAMIN C!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you say to a black man with AIDS? I hope you get medical help and find a cure for your illness.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

i was going to say a gay joke butt f*** it.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man and a woman are having sex. The man finishes and says, "Oh, God, I hope you're on the pill." The girl says she isn't and begins to cry. Lacking a job or a stable life, the man leaves the woman. The woman has an abortion and suffers irreversible damage to her ovaries.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I get no respect at all. That's because I am a liar and a thief with no redeeming qualities.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what ate all the ants in the hill? an anteater

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Beacuse it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you greet your great great grandmother born in 1738? Hey, what's up, hello.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops