A ghost walks into a bar. Nobody sees it because it is a supernatural entity.

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How do you make the general public confused? ...

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A horse walks into a bar...n

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what is faster than a cheetah? i dont know what? if i knew why would i be asking..

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Who's a looser and has no friends??? Max!!! His address is 2131 HighHills Narrow...

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what did the black guy say to his pregnant wife? im very excited to see our newborn child.

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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what's brown and sticky A stick!

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Hey Eliza, thanks, while I appreciate the help, Alice is crying in a corner and refusing to get up, I wont lie, for a moment there I could "see voices and music" and valium has taken care of the ptsd (and blown most of my brain, which is nice for a change). With that said, im on 40 mg ritalin which is a lot, but I need it, besides I can handle the anxiety. I have no idea who the guy typing this is, but he is following me to the letter, so thats good enough, except his typos being worse than mine, which is pretty good for a guy that barely speaks english. Sorry Eliza, but Alice is having a breakdown here, ill talk her down a bit first, she tries to hide it, but she is far more worried about me than I am, which is nice, just not like this, ill be right back with you.

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Your momma's so stupid that she might not have graduated from high school, ceasing her ability to have an educated job. Now, she makes minimum wage and can barely feed her son.

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Why didn't the elephant do any tricks? It was dead.

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Why was the boy sad The boy wanted a puppy for his Birthday So his parents got him a Toy dog Later that year he was found dead with the Toy Dog shoved down his mouth gagging him.

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what is another way to say tree? A big stick with leaves

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Man 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Man2: Are you a tree? Man1: no.

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Why are AntiJokes so funny? Because your brain analyses them and makes you laugh.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding worms in your stool.

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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Your mom is so fat, I do not see how she can possibly wipe effectively.

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A man walk into a bar he buys a few drinks. When he is done the bar tender gives him his check. Man told the bar tender he has no money to pay for it. Bartender says," ok how about this we have a horse in the back that hasn't laughed a day in his life if you can make him laugh you get the drinks for free." so man proceeds to do so. A few minutes later man comes out horse is dying. So the man gets his drink for free. A few days later man comes back with the same deal. So the bartender tells him" that horse hasn't stopped laughing since you went back there. If you can make him stop you get your drinks for free." Man goes in a few minutes later comes out horse is crying. Man man is remarked by how he did it but he doesn't question it. A few days past the man comes back an the horse is still crying...... So the bartender ask the man how he did..... Man says," first I told him I had a bigger dick then him....second time I proved it"

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how do u get a clown to stop smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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Can you say the word "toy boat" 10 times fast? No

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock-eater

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a nintendo wii.

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Knock knock, Who's there? The constable. Your husband was killed in a car crash.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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