Q: What did Hitler say to the Rabbi? A: I don't like you.

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a man walks into a bar the other man ducks

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why did every one in the world die? a Train pooped it's pants.

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Sonny Bono walked into a bar. No, wait, he crashed into a tree.

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Two nuns in a bath, one nun says to the other "wears the soap?" the other confused replies "I am sure you mean 'where' is the soap" and hands her the soap.

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A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

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What's brown and slimy? brown slime

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what hurts more than a stab wound? two stab wounds

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Q: Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? A: Because drawing a perfect circle is impossible for any human.

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Why are lawers are so scared of Jerry bryant? Because he bites

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What did the Dad say when his daughter murdered everyone Tea you're grounded

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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Q: What dosent a Jew and a pizza have in commen? A: The pizza dosent scream when you put it in the oven.

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Q: Hey, wanna hear a joke? A: Sure! Q: Alright, cool. *leaves*

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I AM DEAD, FUCKING, SERIOUS! NOW GET OVER HERE MOMMY I WANT TO... ...Thats pretty disgusting, I was born a man, maybe an infant man, but a man regardless. So how about you stop showcasing me to people here and we just take off? I mean I am dead tired and sleepy, I would say good night, but its day here now so yeah.

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Will you marry me? No, I'm cake.

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Neither have I

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Why did the old man die? Because everyone dies

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why did the first monkey fall out the tree? he was dead why did the second monkey fall out the tree? he was hit by the first one why did the third monkey fall out the tree? peer pressure why did the fourth monkey fall out the tree? he thought it was a game

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Why is Osama dead? He got shot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Q:How do you fit ten babies into a bucket? A: A blender Q:How do you get them out? A: Nachos

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Why Can't Asian women drive? a: Cause they are chink assholes who have only peripheral vision

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roses are grey violets are grey everything is? grey i'm colour blind fml

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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