What did the jacket say to the girl? Zip me up wait why am I talking

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how do yopu punish helen keller? Ground her, just like you would with any other child.

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I donated to Kony 2012. Litterally to Kony. I approve of his actions.

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What do you do If you can't afford a hair cut? Don't get one.

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What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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What did the Pedophile say to the small girl? I have served my sentence and been successfully rehabilitated. Please continue playing out in public without fear of being sexually assaulted.

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Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

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What did the man say when he put his penis in the blender? Arghhhhhhh!

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If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

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How did my grand parents go about surviving the holocaust? Well, for starters, they weren't Jewish, they never lived in Germany, and to be honest, my grandparents probably would have supported the Nazi's because they are right wing pricks

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What's better than getting to sleep in? Sex for the very first time.

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What did the white doctor say to the black doctor? We both went to medical school.

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Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

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If your canoe is stuck in a tree, in the middle of august, with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? A: None, snakes dont have armpits :D

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What happen to the girl that did the splits. Her legs broke.

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Why the boy doesn't get any birthday presents? he has cancer.

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Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

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how much blondes does it take to fix a light bulb 1 to buy the bulb 2 to put it up and 25 to think about what it does

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THEN WHO WAS FONE?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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