Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did sarah fall of the swing? she has no arms. Knock knock. whos there? not sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

did you hear about the dyslexic, overweight, wheelchair bound blind guy? No? Niether did I, I'm deaf so don't hear about anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +25,521

What did the T-rex say to the velociraptor? Dinosaurs are extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Chuck Norris is a normal man.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? I eat pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into a bar After months of rehab he is giving in to his drinking abuse again and will ruin his life as well as his family

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the chicken cross the road? Eggplant.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the black guy say to the other black guy? We are both black

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A white man went to the basketball court to play basketball and was confronted by a group of black men. They kindly invited the white man to play basketball with them and they had a nice day

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Wanna here a joke? To bad you can't your black.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Ham sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what happens when you throw a rock in the water? it gets wet

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A man walks into a bar. He hit his head so hard that he went into a coma.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why do dogs bark? Idk why? Cause there dogs

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A Penguin walk into a bar and asks "Have you seen my brother?" And the bartender replies "What does he look like?"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

im a straight dude and all the gay dudes at school make fun of me oh wait i wrote that backwards

thumb_up thumb_down +2

i was scrolling through the anti-jokes and saw one that just said refridgerator. i laughed. penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops