Your sister's feet smell so bad people encourage her to go home and wash them.

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What's worse than falling off your bike? Getting hit by a truck.

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Stop being a centipede

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Jokes are funny.

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I had sex with your mom. It was f*cking terrible.

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A blindman walks into a bar... then a chair, then a pole

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1, 2, buckle my shoe. 3, 4, shut the door. 5, 6, I'm gonna to cut you in your sleep.

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What do you call a city that never sleeps? Cities cannot sleep; they merely represent a societal body of people living in a confined community. A city may have a prosperous night-life, however, cannot functionally "fall asleep" in the convential sense of the term.

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Why did the donkey fall over Because it had A diabetic foot infection and had to have a non traumatic amputation of the lower hind leg.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? Whatever his name happens to be.

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What do Jesus, The Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus all have in common? Their middle names are all Larry.

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a Chinese man an and a southern red neck walked into a country club and the chinese man got jumped and he left with no money

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Why couldn't the young african american read? He was born blind

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Thanks superman! Oh this is just what a regular Clark Kent would do... Uh... I mean... Dont worry Superman I know you arent Clark Kent, I just wonder why you work for him all day... Moral: What? What moral? What what?

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How many black babies fit in a garbage can? It depends on the capacity of the garbage can.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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What's big and white?

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Yo momma so ugly she looks like a penis

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-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

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Knock knock I don't even have a door just walk in

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2 black guys are riding in a car, whos driving? The cops.

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What do you call a baby with a shadow? A shadow-baby!

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Why did the monkey eat his own poop? Because there was minimal resources where he was so he resorted to eat his own fecal matter

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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