What did the lonely old man get on valentines day? Nothing, because his wife died of cancer two years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why can't men give birth? Because men do not not have the reproductive organs required to give life to a new born child.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

knock knock? come in

thumb_up thumb_down +11

KARL KARASHIAN - FACEBOOK

thumb_up thumb_down -13

If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock-Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Why are u crying?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

your dad's gay. just let that sink in.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why did Ben Franklin Invent Bifocals? He's a jive turkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you go into the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A Native American walks into a bar. The bartender notes that this is statistically unlikely because Native Americans are part of a small minority in the local area, but is accepting of all people so still serves him a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you do when your condom breaks during sexual intercourse? Get AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the UPS man bring Sara? a box. whats inside it is only Sara's buisness

thumb_up thumb_down

guess wat chicken butt guess why chicken thy guess who chicken poo guess how he chickened out

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why are black people scared of chain saws? because it goes runnigganigganiggarunnigganigganigga

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road? after approximately 10 seconds of looking back and forth left to right the chicken finally came to a realization that the road is clear and safe to cross.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the blind girl say? Its dark in here.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's worse than death? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? More than 6.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats the similarity between a bike and a black person? They are both stolen

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Guns don't kill people. Dangerous minorities do.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the human say to the human? You are a human.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops