What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

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What's the difference between your jokes and your penis? No one laughs at your jokes.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Cause she's a woman

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How many dead children can you fit in a garbage can? Give me a knife and i will find out

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Why was the old lady hard of hearing? She spent many of her young days blasting hard rock from her speakers/

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Why'd the boy fall off his bike? The holocaust

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As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

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What is the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves

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What's big and black? A black fridge.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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whats the main reason Mexicans have legs? so they can stand.

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whats really hot the sun

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Knock, Knock! Go away!

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What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? Because he felt like it okay!!! Just let him be!!!

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Your mamas so old she died of old age, R.I.P.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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Uh no, yogurt as in the bacteria that they add to milk in order to make the finished product yogurt. You see, while the effect is seen in twins (for example if one twin gets raped, the other gets a fucking sore ass) Sorry, I am still under trance here myself, you get out of it, I am gonna have some fun, go splash some water on your face. I mean people go like "woah that is impossible it only happens in rare cases and so on right?" Fun stuff: Yogurt, you can seal yogurt in a steel container miles away after separating its culture (basically having a colony living together and then moving them away from each other as in 30000 kilometers and sealing them in soundproof safe`s and whatnot. Feed one half of the yogurt, and the other one far far away begins munching into thin air, now keep the food close to the yogurt, and the bacteria will begin "begging for it" (as in when baby chicks notice the parent has arrived with food), and so will the culture of yogurt sealed in a safe 30000 miles away. Why? Living in similar states, brings a natural connection, we are attracted to similarities, and as far as the human knowledge of the LAW of attraction goes, distance is not a factor, look it up, or just believe me.

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Why didn't the cat eat its supper? It was dead.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Q: How many light bulbs does it take to change a blonde? A: One, if she tries to swallow it.

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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SPAMS!!!

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A Pole walks into a bar and gets annexed by Germany.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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