What happens when you put two black people in a blender? That is physically impossible, you cannot fit two people in an ordinary blender.

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When did Dom become so brave? When he made friends

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What did the boy eat for dinner? Shit.

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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A black man walked into a bar. Had a drink, and left.

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Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on a deserted island when a genie appears and offers each of them one wish. Before making any decisions on what to wish for, the discuss what the smartest choice is. They return to the genie. The brunette wishes to return home, as does the blonde. The redhead wishes to be able to walk again. The genie denies the wish because to walk again she would have to wish for two legs. The genie leaves and the redhead eventually dies of dehydration as she cannot move and the water that she reaches from the ocean contains salt which dehydrates her faster than the water hydrates her.

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Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

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why did my iphone screen get scratched :(? because i dropped it ):

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Why couldn't the man walk? Because his leg is broken.

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What's green and stands in a corner? A naughty frog.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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How can you tell if a woman is stupid? Yell the word "STUPID'' and see if she turns around.

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A Catholic, a Protestant, and a Jew are stranded in the middle of the ocean on a raft. They all die of dysentery.

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What does Helen Keller put at the end of every sentence? A period.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

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Why did the prostitute survive the gunshot? She was wearing a bulletproff vest.

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this sentence will not monkey banana pie

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a structure used to support sitting people, the other is a human being native to Mexico.

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Why is the spine-tailed swift is the fastest bird? Because its faster than the second fastest bird

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What a vase and a cheeseburger have in common? It has it's price.

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A gentleman walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What can I get for you?" The gentleman replys that he would like a beer. After the bartender fulfils the gentleman's order, the gentleman drinks his beer and enjoys it.

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Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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