How many finger does a fat person have? I don't know you can never find there hands.

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How many Jews does it take to fill a shower? As many as it does to fill an ash tray.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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911 joke ? now thats just plane rude.

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Sorry, had it not been for my contacts, you would all have ended up in prison because of "The Wiz", I know you got a clean plate, but this guy was doing some seriously dirty laundry claiming to be working for "The Order", again it is best you all keep low, I will make sure my men evacuate this place as soon as we have rigged the game to your favor. As far as we can tell, he was the only one leaking Intel, but I suggest you keep an close eye on the rest of your boys and girls.

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Yo mama is so fat, she needs to get serious about her diet, or else she might die of some sort of weight related issue.

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Why did the Vietnemese prostitute ask for the phone? Because she wanted to use the phone.

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So, two people park their car and walk into a bar. Wait, no. They were walking into a grocery store and they were riding skateboards, not a car. Then, the kid walks in after them. Oh, did I forget to mention they had children? And also, they're married. So anyway, they walk into this grocery store, and meet a barkeep. Wait no that's ridiculous why would a barkeep be in a grocery store. Let me start over. Bah.. never mind. I forgot what happened next, but it was REALLY FUNNY!

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Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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So a 12 year old suicide bomber walks in to a military base and kills 31 soldiers. It happened. Look it up.

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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hes climbing in your window, hes snatching your people up. Hes a fireman.

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why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

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So a priest, a rabbi, a blonde and a black person walk into a bar. The Bar Tender says, "Is this some kind of joke"

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Q: What is a laptop that sings? A: A Dell

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What? Huh?

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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What did the man say when he saw an orange? That's not a banana.

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What do you get we you mix a ginger with gasoline? A forest fire.

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Why'd the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a bus.

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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sometimes i take my duck a shower, i always use cold water because if i use hot water it will think im cooking it.

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What do you get when you offer a blond a penny for his thoughts? Change.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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