There once was a girl from Nantucket, I've heard its nice there this time of year.

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''Wanna hear a joke?'' ''Sure'' ''a joke''

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A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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what did the rabbi say to the priest? jesus christ, your breath stinks.

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What do a squirrel and a cucumber have in common? They both cant ride bikes

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One dog says to the other dog "Nice day, isn't it?" The other dog says "You can talk!?"

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" Not Sally because she has no arms ~Sally jokes

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Why do people on this website suck? Because they are n i g g e r s and jews!

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An Admiral walks into Ackbar...

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a duck walked into the 7-11, grabbed a slurpee and told the man at the register, "put it on my bill". But the man behind the counter was Indian, and could not understand what the duck was saying. The duck then walked out confused, wondering why he was buying a slurpee in the first place

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NEVER

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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how many friends does tomas have 0 he is a loner

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Why couldn't the unicorn fly? It was a horse.

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3 guys walk into a bar. The fourth guy ducks.

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My cousins so stupid she makes straight A's

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Why do Indian people smell like curry? They don't. Its an ignorant misconception.

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? She is a goner.

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A jew walks into an Oven....

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Q: What cat walks on two feet? A: Garfield Q: What mouse walks on two feet? A: Mickey Mouse Q: What duck walks on two feet? A: Donald Duck? A: No, all ducks you dipshit.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind.

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why did the chicken cross the road??? I don't know, that's why I asked you -_-

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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