it was dark outside so u know what i did....went to sleep

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hola said the chinese man

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why did the women cross the road? she didnt, theres no road in the kitchen.

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How do you get an Irishman out of a bar? You politely ask him to leave.

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there's 4 men, a rabbi, a priest, a monk, and a captain. they all go on the captain's ship for a cruise with a couple hundred people. this was during the cold war, and the ship was mistaken for a war ship, and the russians missled it. the monk says: "we have to get everyone off the ship!" the rabbit say: "NO! the women and children need to get off first! And we should also hail to Satan!" the Captain says: "OMG! It's a talking Rabbit!" the priest then stops the rabbit to death!" the rabbi says: "The rabbit is right! But just the children!" The Captain says: "Screw the children! this ship is going to Hell, we have talking animals saying we should worship the devil!" the priest says: "Do you think we have time" the monk, the rabbi, and the captain stare and beat him to death.... "Well, he was already going to Hell" the Monk says. But during this entire time the ship has been sinking and another missle blows up the ship. Everyone dies, except for Sean Conery...and Chuck Norris.

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How do you kill a circus? Go for the Juggler!

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404: Anti-joke not found.

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How do you confuse a Muslim? - Rub his belly.

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Why did the little boy run away from Michael Jackson? Because he was scared

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what is long, black and looks like a curly-hair? A curly-hair

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What does Harry Potter love? Magic

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Why should you never push a Mexican off a bike? Because he will file a lawsuit against you in the event of an injury.

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what's the difference between a pogo stick and a traffic cone? well for starters, traffic a cones main function is to cordon off areas or alert drivers to certain areas of road that are not to be breached and pogo sticks are used as toys to heighten bouncing. I'll stop here but the list goes on.

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So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Four because snakes don't have legs.

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, what do think I am? An umbrella? Why would you even think FOR A MOMENT that it's OK to just ASK me random stuff? Do you have ANY IDEA who I am?! I'm your worst nightmare, and if you ever ask me ANYTHING without permission again, or so help me I will drown the nearest pet goldfish. P.S. His cat died.

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Why is cameron haythorp gay? Answer- He showed his willy to robet tuner

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anti jokes r not funny, jk, thats a joke, i bet sum of u losers will like this cuz all of these jokes r horrible

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. One polar says to the other, "Pass the soap please." And the other polar bear says, "No soap, radio!"

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What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

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With the exception of pigs, both pigs and blue jays can fly

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a human profession, and the other is a type of fish.

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? because he was dead

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If people are freaking out about this Kony guy I cant wiat to see the look on their faces when they check in my crawl space.

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What is not a crocodile? The teenage mutant ninja turtles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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