Why couldn't the blond get into the library? Because the library was closed therefore the door was locked.

If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

"I have some good news and some bad news, which do you want to hear first?" The good news. "There is no bad news." Then what's the bad news? "There is no bad news.

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

Yo mama so fat, she was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and has been instructed by her physician to exercise and regularly monitor her blood glucose levels.

What do you get if you cross a human and a cow? Arrested.

What did the single guy do on Valentine's Day? Celebrate his birthday since he was born on the same day.

Chuck noris is so awesome that he brings a knife to a gun-fight, and wins

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

Two penguins walk are in the bathtub and says "can you pass me the soap?" the other one looks at him quite quarly and says "what do you think i am, a chainsaw?!?"

Your face

What is red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

What do you call a man with no arms? A: A Man with no arms.

What did the piece of macaroni say as they boy was about to eat him? Nothing. Foods are uneducated and illiterate therefore unable to speak, and went into the boy's mouth without a trouble.

Jake snow steals ideas he doesn't make them up

Why did the hipster burn his mouth on a piece of pizza? Because the pizza was on fire.

What did God say when he saw the first black man? What a wonderful creation I have made.

rosses are red voilets are pinkey your mams pussy is really stinky

Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

A hooded black man walks into a Convenience store. He orders a cup of hot chocolate as it is very cold outside.

A morbidly overweight baby eats horse poop and dies a slow horrible death

Why was the door opened? Because I opened it

Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

What colour is a black man in a freezer black

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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