What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Oh wait! i don't care!

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Q; what did the gangster say after he and his gang robbed a bank? A;Hey boys lets go drink some soy milk (After that his gang killed him) but the moral of the story is to not rob banks or take drugs

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How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

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anti jokes are really funny

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how do you get a 1 armed moron out of a tree? you wave

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Why did the car crash? The driver was female.

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NO ONE LIKES RANGAS

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What did the genie say to the man that rubbed the magic lamp? Nothing, genies don't exist.

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Why was the girl running out of the school? Because her principal was trying to rape her.

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a jewish duck trips over a series of metal corckswcrews and proceeds to die of ADHD the answer is 4

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A man says to his wife, "Honey, sex just hasn't been the same lately." "That's probably because of my yeast infection," replies his wife.

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Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

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a farmer asked me "were is my pig?" and I said ' I got hungry" :()

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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jordan godfrey is good looking lolololol

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I scream, you scream, we all scream when we're chased by bears.

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Guy 1: Ask me if I have a banana in my ear. Guy 2: Do you have a banana in your ear? Guy 1: Sorry I can't hear you I have a banana in my ear

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why did Michael Jackson cross the road? He didnt he is dead.

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If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

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Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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