A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you give a cold sore to catnip? Because he needed lemon juice

thumb_up thumb_down -11

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

dont be afraid of lard squeezing cause really its just me teasing

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was the boy sad? Because he looked behind him and saw a pedophile penis in his ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What do you call a black prostetut with braces. A black and decker pecker wrecker

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A woman walks into a bar and hits it off beautifully with the young man sitting close to her. They exchange numbers, and even a small kiss before she departs. He follows her home and eats her.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A lion walks into a barber shop and asks for a haircut and the barber says no then the lion proceeds to kill everyone in the shop

thumb_up thumb_down +1

- What would you say if you'll see a Mexican eating hamburger in fast-food restaurant? - Enjoy your meal.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the man turn up at his friend's funeral dressed as Mickey Mouse? Because it would have been disrespectful not to attend.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

cchina is communist the USA isnt WHY?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock-knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: A Blonde and a Brunette fall of a building which one hits the ground first? A: The Brunette because she ways 200 pounds and the Blonde weighs 100.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats the stage after cancer? you die

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A kid goes into the ocean on a boogyboard and then gets eaten by a shark because the shark thought he was a seal.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why is 6 scared of 7? because 7 eight 9

thumb_up thumb_down -54

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

why the woman scream when she arrived at her surprise party? Everyone was dead!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q. Why didn't the Hero rescue the princess? A. Because he crunched some numbers, realized the incredible odds against him, and decided against it.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops