Three fish swim into a bar. The first one says "blub blub blub". The second one says "blub blub blub". The third one says "I'm not a fish I'm a human". What does the bartender say? Answer = Ayy Llmao _George_Bush_

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Hey i heard You were a wierd kid ooooooooooalskdfjaslkdfj

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A caterpillar and its mom (a butterfly) come upon a lion eating an antelope. The caterpillar says "Mom, why is the lion so mean to the antelope?" The mom replies: "it's the circle of life." The next day, the caterpillar and his mom witness a bird of prey swooping down and eating a mouse. The caterpillar asks why the bird of prey is so mean and the mom responds by saying its the circle of life. The next day, the caterpillar and its mom come across a trail of dead animals. They follow the trail to the end where they see a great lion. The mom opens her mouth to say its the circle of life when her son jumps up and eats the lion. THE END.

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What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? Boyscouts came back from camp

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How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

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How do you upset a builder? Kill all his family.

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A woman crashes her car into a pole Thier family is suing for a hit and run

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Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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A couple was arguing about how the man was cheating and he was in "The Doghouse". There clever son pointed out that they didn't own a dog.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, WHO THE HELL $#!T IN MY GARDEN?!

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Why were there a series of riots in london? The police shot and killed a man who was threatening them and thus caused his friends to get angry and caused other people to lose control.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The road was Catholic, and it couldn't cross itself.

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What did the guy say to the campgrounds? It was in tents (get it like intense but it is a pun)

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a man walks into a bar and says "help me, my daughter just got hit by a car! the bartender phones the ambulance and the girl survives.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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what did the girl do when she saw a spider in her bathroom? she peed.

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I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

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What's black, white, and red all over? White on black homicide.

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"HEY DUMB FU** THIS STUFF IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY!!!" SAID SIMON COWELL!!!

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How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

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This is a joke.

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Yo mama so ugly, she has to work harder than most women to attract men.

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What's the difference between you and yourself? Yourself has 4 more letter in it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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