Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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Whats the difference between pizza and Jews Pizzas dont scream when their put in the oven

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When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

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(sniff) (sniff) It smells like gross diarrhea in here... (sniff) (sniff) ... Yeah it does

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What did the mexican firefighter name his 2 children? Jose and Juan.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second muffin and says "OH MY GOD I CAN TALK!" the second muffin is so shaken in its beliefe system by a talking muffin that it commits suicide.

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I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

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Nobody knows why she swallowed the fly, she probably won't die.

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Did you hear about the guy that came out the closet while at school? Yeah, Dylan Hodge is a dick.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen? Five.

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how do you kill a blonde? -a gun, knife or any other lethal object

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What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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WHY DID THE WHITE MAN TALK TO THE BLACK MAN TO LIGHTEN HIM UP

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Knock knock Who's there? Hi would you be interested in learning about Scientology? No

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What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil armstrong Neil armstrong walks on the moon...Michael Jackson molests little boys

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What did the old man say to his grandson before he kicked the bucket?? "I wonder how far i can kick this bucket..."

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I'm so hungry, I could eat an adequately sized meal

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So, this guy walks into the doctor's and says: "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor says: "Yes, you've shattered both your kneecaps. You'll never walk again."

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

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Ben: do you want to hear a joke. jack: yh go on then, i bet its funny. Ben: Your future.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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