What do you call a fish that is missing an eye. fsh.

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Hey! do you have any updog? Nothing much! you?

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Q- Why? A- Why not?

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what did one dog say to another dog? ....nothing, because they can only bark.

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George Bush.

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I used to be schizophrenic, but we're ok now.

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What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

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What's fat and ginger? My dog.

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Q: Why did the duck eat some grass? A: because we are so careless that we caused global causing the entire pond to shrink to a size where it cannot raise a family and the fish could not prosper so the duck could not eat what it had forcing it do consume an inedible substence causing it to die because is not a natural part of a ducks diet

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A brown park bench was bought. After multiple years the color had faded, and the bench was no longer the same shade of brown.

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A caterpillar and its mom (a butterfly) come upon a lion eating an antelope. The caterpillar says "Mom, why is the lion so mean to the antelope?" The mom replies: "it's the circle of life." The next day, the caterpillar and his mom witness a bird of prey swooping down and eating a mouse. The caterpillar asks why the bird of prey is so mean and the mom responds by saying its the circle of life. The next day, the caterpillar and its mom come across a trail of dead animals. They follow the trail to the end where they see a great lion. The mom opens her mouth to say its the circle of life when her son jumps up and eats the lion. THE END.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? Not Madeleine McCann.

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How long does it take a black woman to have a baby? Nine months, give or take a few days depending on whether she goes into labour early or not.

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How do you insult a Canadian? You just swear at them and hope for the best.

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How do the Chinese name their children? They decide on a name that both parents can agree upon, and they write that on the certificate of birth.

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So much oil was spilled into the ocean that it is killing animals.

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whoever said we're all soft on the inside was probably not an experienced doctor.

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Are you antijoke.com. Because you are a faggot.

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joe: guess what. Bob: what. Joe: nothing I just wanted to talk

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there's a blonde and a brunette jumping out of a plane, what one hits the ground first? they both hit at the same time because gravity pulls everything down towards the earth at the same pace

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What's the difference Justin Bieber and a Dic* the Dic*

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How are cars made? By magic.

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Whats the first thing you do when your grandmother gets hit by a toaster? Buy a new toaster.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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