What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Gorillas are black, Roses are red, Were out of milk, GET THE F**K OUT!

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Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon A: Ones fun to beat with a sledgehammer, the other ones a watermelon

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse..”

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Firgen and the blung brigade

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Q: Why didn't the mexican get into the bathtub? A: He was already clean

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Dad always said that laughter was the best medicine. Maybe that's why he died of tuberculosis.

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"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

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A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

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womens rights

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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F U C K Y O U W I T H Y O U R A N T I J O K E S

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How do you call the smallest mouse on Earth? James.

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What is the difference between a goat? It can neither ride a bike.

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How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

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Did you hear about the toddler that was playing on the swing? He got abducted.

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What is the worst part about being a black Jew? Having to sit at the back of the gas chamber.

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Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a scotch on the rocks. Realizing how strange this occurrence was, the bartender immediately calls the local news station and tells them there is a talking horse in his place of business and it would be in their best interest to come do a story on it, because the likelihood of them finding another story of this magnitude is quite slim.

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What's the difference between a terrorist and Bill Gates? One founded a successful software company, and the other commits mass murder of civilians for political gain.

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Anti jokes SUCK!

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Whats better than 1 dollar? 2 dollars.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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