why did the chicken cross the road? to spend the night with his friend.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How did the cat get outside? It fell out the window

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A door walks up with a knob what does the guy do? he opens the door

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: How many babies does it take th paint a barn? A: I dunno, how hard are you throwing them?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

I got shot, you laughed

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Easter? Hepatitis.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

In this country, you gotta get the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, you get shot the F*** up at the end of Scarface.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the teenager turn in his work on time? He chose not to procrastinate.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Who does creatine? James Cornish

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's long, brown, and runs across a family's backward? A fence.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the man rape the woman? He had a lapse in judgement.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock. Who's there? The interrupting doctor. The inter-- --You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between a guitar and a fish? Fish are living organisms and guitars are instruments used for people's entertainment

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call two gay men playfully wrestling? Immature.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did Liberia say to Texas? Tag, you're it!

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What would Jesus do? Something that would in getting nailed to a piece of wood.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac. Unless they were having sex with my corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down +295

Why was the boy sitting alone? Because all his friends died.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you make time fly? You can't, time is the duration of events and therefore cannot "fly".

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do a baker and gynecologist have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops