What's round and cheesy? A cheese wheel.

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Man is hit by a falling tree his friend immediately responds "Got Wood" the man is now paraplegic

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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THUMBS THIS DOWN AND I WILL KILL YOU! TOTAL PEOPLE DIED FROM THUMBING THIS DOWN: 147289347809237489

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had bullied 6 and his old pal 21 back in his younger days.

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Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

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What did the boy in the striped pajamas get for Christmas? A shower.

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Hey dude, wanna come with me!!!! Sure, where? ON YOUR FACE!!!!!! -_- ........ok sure why not

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refridgrator

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What is similar between a dog and a cat? They are both dogs except for the cat.

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What did the Albino get for Christmas? Hair dye.

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Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

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Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

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What do you get when you come across a duck and a moose? Nothing...What do you think you deserve a prize or something?

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What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? Quality control or some other function.

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Why couldn't the pirate boy see the movie? He was blind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay guys house Knock Knock Who's there? The chicken

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Why was the kid mad? Because he died.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

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Why did the crab blush? It didn't because crab's can't blush.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

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Q. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops