Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left the fence open, so it wandered around and happened to cross a road.

how do you get lady gaga to wake up in the morning? Hit her with a brick

I liked your first album but I feel that it went downhill from there. There are a few good songs on your third album though.

Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

A black and a white man walk into a grocery store the black man buys fried chicken and the white man buys vegtables. The men both have different opions and enjoy different food groups.

Where did grandpa go for his birthday The morgue.

So a cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. The bartender, realizing that cats cannot talk nor do they posses higher brain functions, realizes he must be dreaming.

Like my status for a tbh?

Why do black people eat watermelon? Because it taste good.

Hi poop!

If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

Why was the old lady sad? Her husband was raped by an angry gallon of milk.

There are 5 men in a desert a black man a white man a gay a lesbian and a white woman they have no food or water and haven't had any in 3 weeks civilization is 1 mile away how many people live and which ones They all die you can only live 3 days without water.

whats the difference between santa claus and jewish people santa claus goes down the chimney and jewish people go up

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

Religion

Where did the girl go when a bomb was dropped on her? Everywhere

Hey, Texas! Knock knock Texas: Who's there? Ebola

A naked man walks into a bar and is promptly arrested for indecent exposure.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Dead.

Fact: When you die, you can't eat ice cream!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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