- Hey, guess how many people are dead in that cemetery? - I don't know. How many? - All of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you tell if there is an elephant in your refrigerator? Check for footprints in the butter.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

I used to walk in front of archers, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Did you know that a hamster and a cigarette are almost the same? How? Because they are both completely harmless until you put them in your mouth and light them on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A lion walks in to a bar, and murders everyone inside. This is why animals are not aloud in bars.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

When life gives you lemons you squirt them in someones eyes and steal what life gave them.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house she is likely to be there for some time.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: What would George Washinton do if he was alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a black man hanging from a tree? Breakfast

thumb_up thumb_down -154

What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q : Who is the most famous celebrity, Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber? A : Neither, because they are just fads.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you stop 5 black guys from raping a girl? You call the proper authorities. Don't try to be a hero.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q. What happened first The Tree or The Apple. A. Johny Appleseed.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Religious fanatics: WE MUST NOT SIN! Jesus: And I died for their sins? They do not even try a bit of sex and rock and roll? Now that is a sin :( I died for nothing then :( Religious fanatics: Damn!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A guy asks, "Why was my mom in your bed?" The other guy replies, "Because your mom has a mental disease which inhibits her ability to process thought."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

William wright is Gay

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the apple say to the apple? Nothing, they're apples.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldn't the woman drive? She was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday just dance 3

thumb_up thumb_down -23

WHATS A GREAT RAVE TUNE KANE !!!!! TUCKER !!!!!!!! DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A joke

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops