How many 3 legged black Irish catholic obstetricians, walking into a bar, does it take to make a chicken cross the road? Fish!

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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Sammi suck kyles chode

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Helena: Can u get me a pencil? Me: Sure. Me: Mr. Brandmeyer can u give me a pencil? Mr. Brandmeyer: Why? Me: I don't know. That's what Helena said.

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An orphan walks into a bar. The bartender calls Child Protective Services and is given to a nice foster family.

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Why did the lonely man stop talking? He was alone.

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View Terms of Service

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Q: Why can't Eric drive a car? A: Because Eric is a rock

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Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

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what will you do if you become a ruler of the world? Waking up, its just a dream GET REAL!

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A man goes into the doctors office for his yearly checkup. The man waits patiently for several minutes until the doctor is ready to see him. After about ten minutes pass, the doctor is ready to see him. The man enters the doctors office. He passes all of the necessary tests. The doctor and him talk for a while. After a few minutes, the doctor says, "Okay, thanks for coming. See you next year." The man thanks the doctor and leaves.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Knock Knock It's Open!

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Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains! That's the least of your worries you have aids!

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What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

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So what do you guys wanna do?? Anything, I still have cancer..

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what's the difference between your grandmother and a dead squirrel? Technically, if you burn them both, your grandmother will produce more ash, but apart from that, they are both useless pieces of carbon.

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An American man stopped me the other day and asked for the time, I looked at my watch and said: 5 o'clock.

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Why did Susan fall of the swing? She had no arms... Knock Knock... Who's there? Not Susan...

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How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

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When life gives you melons, your probably dyslexic.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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Ken wins!

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di you hear about the man that got his whole left side cut off? no well he died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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