Blonde: what does IDK stand for? Brunett: i don't know Blonde: NOBODY KNOWS!!!

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I know what you do with your right hand. You part-take in everyday activities such as eating, typing, grooming and maneuvering.

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Why couldn't dracula's wife get to sleep? She had insomnia.

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THis guy went into the bathroom with a girl in the middle of party and they started having sex but then the guy has to pee so he does... and then he leaves the bathroom and goes back to the party

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Cheese in toast,

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What's big, green, has 4 legs, and if it falls out of a tree will kill you? A pool table

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Why is the black guy afraid of the white guy? He's not, it's the other way around.

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YEAH WELL SMELL YOUR BREATH U BELLEND

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What did the snowman say when winter was ending? -Nothing you dumbass

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Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Lady Gaga has a small one. Madonna doesn't have one. What is it? A last name.

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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what do you get if you take the head off a duck and a monkey, and swap them over to the other bodies. 2 dead animals and quite alot of mess

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

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i want to meet Dora's parents and ask them why they let that bitch go everywhere

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go to the buchter.

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A man walks into a store and says "Roses are red, Violets are blue, there is a bomb strapped to my chest, give me all the money"

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Why was the leaf green? Chlorophyll

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Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest but you mom is a whore

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What color was the black guy's skin? Brown

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Why did the man throw the baby at the brick wall? I don't know, but that is a tragic incident and I will now go mourn.

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1500 Jews were ordered to walk a straight path whilst in the midst of a blizzard. How close did they ever get to the end? What end? They marched until every last bit of their rotten Jew flesh was driven from their weak bodies. --Amon Goeth

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i have to pee out my ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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