What is your name, sir? My name is not Sir, my name is Jeff.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait i think i missed the joke, what?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did casino dealer say to the other? Every day I'm shuffling.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call two black people on one bike? Organized Crime

thumb_up thumb_down -149

i heard something so funny it made me crap my pants you were a mistake

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: Why did the man have no legs? A: He lost them when his humvee hit a roadside bomb during his last tour in Iraq.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Two Irish men walks out of a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get i the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is black and white and red all over? A nun that just fell down the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than the Holocost? Two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

kids make accidents in the backseat of your car but u and your wife made an accident in the backseat and thats how you got that rottten troll that makes accidents in the car!!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do Michael Jackson and a T-Rex have in common? They're both dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

So, you got to take medications daily or die? Are you in pain my dear?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldn't Little Johnny read his 3rd grade novel? His was repeatedly stabbed in his eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock knock Whos there Bill O hey bill

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did Tesco not serve a black guy? Because he just happen to be holding a gun

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you stop a bus? Press the brakes

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -82

what is big and white? the moon

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? the wnba

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops