What do communists and strawberries have in common? You can eat them.

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What says "Mooo"? A goat with an identity crisis.

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Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard, To give the poor dog a bone: When she came there, The cupboard was bare, And so the poor dog had none. So Old Mother Hubbard was reported for animal cruelty

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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Why did the girl stop smoking? Because her mum asked her to.

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why did the asian go to the bar?? i dont know you tell me.

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock out a window.

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What smells like curry and bombs? A dead Indian

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what do you call cheese that is not yours? stolen property

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My computer crashed today I was watching porn.

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What is meant by the term 'Biological control''? Not ending up on the Jeremy Kyle Show.

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What's 17 times worse than a 3? I don't know, personally I don't think 3's are so bad.

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a morman walks into a bar, he buys a 7up.

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What is faster than a black guy stealing a TV? His brother with a DVR

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Knock Knock ! Who's there? Jim. Oh come in.

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A man using Apple Maps walks into a bar. Or maybe a hospital... or possibly a church.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are flowers, And daisies are too.

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Q: Why did the Japanese man fall off the cliff? A: He was pushed

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Can you answer one question for me? Yes Thank you

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what's worse than finding out god isn't real? finding out he is

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How to confuse a dumbass: see previous post.

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Why did the tomato turn red? The salad pulled out a gun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops