- Anti Joke

A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: I am.

Q. Why did my ass feel so sweaty? A. Because i was exercising and suckn on some nips.

What's the song that goes like, duh duh da duh duh duh da da do?

Enchilada

What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

What is the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench is an inanimate object whereas a black man is a human being with rights.

Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

What did spongebob say to patrick? Im ready! im ready!

Q:What did Sandy say to Spongebob? A:Nothing, They were both crushed by the water pressure of being on the bottom of the ocean.

what did the black, asian and jew have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantoulope.

Why can't the T-Rex clap his hands? Because he's dead.

Q. What do you get if you cross a suspicious person with a paranoid person? A. Who wants to know

There once was a cheerio. To protect the names of the innocent, we'll call him mike. Mike the cheerio is just a plain cheerio. Mike was walking down the street one day. He was feeling good. He had his headphones on and was enjoying a stroll. All of a sudden, he turns to see a beautiful honey-nut cheerio behind the counter of the store he was walking by. He thought to himself "Man, she's gorgeous. Maybe ill go ask her out." But then he remembers that he is just a regular cheerio. He then goes home. So he starts getting ready to go to bed. Mike then looks at his reflection and sees a spot on his arm. Then he does something you should NEVER do as a cheerio. What does he do? He LICKS it. Then he goes to sleep. Mike wakes up the next day. He realizes that he's become an apple jack cheerio! Mike then goes to work feeling great. Life is looking up. On his way home from work he even asks the honey-nut cheerio out on a date. Mike goes home and gets ready for bed. Then he sees a spot on his arm. Then he does something you should NEVER do as a cheerio. What does he do? He LICKS it. Then he goes to sleep. He wakes up the next morning and realizes that he's become a honey-nut cheerio! Mike then goes to work, comes home, and gets ready for his date. The date goes great and they end up dating for two years. Mike then decides to propose to his girlfriend. He decides that he needs to ask her father for his blessing first though. The father had to work late that night so mike decided to just ask him the next day. Mike goes home and gets ready for bed. He then sees a spot on his arm. Then he does something you should NEVER do as a cheerio. What does he do? He LICKS it. Then he goes to sleep. He wakes up the next morning and realizes that he's become a regular cheerio! Then he remembers that he was supposed to ask his girlfriend's father for her hand in marriage. Mike is scared that he may now say no. He decides to go for it anyway. Confused, he looks at Mike and says "A regular cheerio, marrying my daughter? I don't thinks so." Mike and his girlfriend break-up because of this. Mike feels really distraught over the whole set set of events. He goes to the bar to get really drunk. Mike sees one of his friends at the bar. He tells the friend his story. The friend tells Mike that he needs to go get his mind off of it. He then offers Mike to go to a new club. Mike accepts and they go off to the club. Mike sees so many hot cheerios out on the dance floor. He goes and starts dancing. He dances so much that he starts getting really thirsty. He looks around but can't find anything to drink, so he decides to keep dancing. His thirst really starts to get to him and he starts to really need a drink, He looks around and still can't find somewhere to get a drink. Then he thinks "Wait what kind of drink do people have at a party? Punch! So he looks through the entire place, but there was no punchline...

u know whats a crime? rape

Why was the blond looking at the orange juice box? Because she was reading the nutritional content of orange juice.

Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

Why was darren too late for school today...? She got hit by the bus

Why did the two blondes decide to ride in one car? Because it's more environmentally friendly than taking two cars.

gdfhtrfcgsexdfchrthgdfggfhtdtfhdtyfgfdfcghfgdyghhyrtfgrdfdffdtgdfgfghrthfg Alzheimer's.

Q: Whats the difference between a friend and a bestfriend? A: The other one has best in front of it dumb A$$

how do you kill a rat skin it and feed it to your child and wait till it shits then when it shits feed it to your dog then when it shits then microwave it and shove the smelly liquid remains up your ass.

Q: what do you call a guy with a stolen cat in his pocket A: The police because stealing animals is illegal

Apple hates Blackberry.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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