What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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What did the dead woman say to the murderer nothing dead people cant talk

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Why did the door close? Because I closed it.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

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you are black i am black except for your big hairy ass

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Why did the cow hail a taxi? Because cows can't drive.

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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I wife my butt after I poop. I poop out of my penis.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder drive? There is no steering wheel at the back of the bus.

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What did the devout Catholic man say to his gay neighbours who just got married? "Congratulations!"

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What did the catholic priest say at the AA meeting? Alcohol is ruining my life.

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why did the man die? because he died.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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Im ashamed of being from Canada

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? It's a spicy sort of stew, you'd enjoy it.

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb. One, of course. Assuming he/she does not have any physical or mental handicaps.

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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Q. What has two legs and is covered in red stuff? A. Half a dog

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I GOT YOUR BUTT PUSSY!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Hello, I am Sergent Henry Orange. I'm afraid your husband was shot down by an enemy aircraft. I'm sorry, he was a brave man.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead.

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two kids find a condom so they decide to show their mum the mum snatched it off them saying never to touch one of them again the kids went to their room "Mum sounded pretty angry about that thing "Lucky we didnt tell her about the yohgurt we drank out of it

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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