Why did the chicken cross the road So he could get back to the farm and lay more eggs

What do democrats and fire have in common? They both do damage

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

- i send you a friend request on facebook - okay

Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote, puzzles still don't.

why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

Why couldn't Little Johnny read his 3rd grade novel? His was repeatedly stabbed in his eyes.

why couldn't the man rock climb? he didn't have hands

Why can't Jimmy talk? He's dead.

Why did your mom cross the road? She Tripped and started rolling

What did the vegitarian order for dinner? Vegatables

What is white and can't walk? A PVC Pipe.

Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

Think of a number between 2 and 10? 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286 208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481 11745028410270193852110555964462294895493038

Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

Why did my phone crack? I dropped it.

What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

What's the difference between and black dick and a white dick? To get to the other side

haiku's are stupid, and do not always make sense, refrigerator.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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