What did the widow get for her birthday? Nothing from her husband.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because there was a gunman on the same side of the path and it would most likely be safer to avoid making eye contact

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How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You can't - elephants are too big to fit in fridges. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You can't, see above. If there is a raging fire in the jungle, which animal will survive? Most likely the parrots and other birds, as they can fly away.

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What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

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What happened to Liam? He died because of an infected scrotum.

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What do you call justin bieber haveing sex with a lady? A dream

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Adam: knock knock!! Eve: who's there? Adam: don't be silly, just open the f*cking door!!

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? a fsh

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why did the duck cross the road? because his d**k was stuck in the chickens a**....

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Why did the man jump out of the plane? Because the plane was losing fuel fast so he grabbed a parachute and went for it and realized that was the only one left so everyone died a horrible death.

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A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation.

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If life though you lemons, through skittles at them and say tast the freakin rainbow.

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What is brown and sticky? Black tar heroin.

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How many pancakes does it take to fill up a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones.

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What is the difference between two little red cubes who are excactly the same in weight lengt colour etc. ??? One is actually a blue ball!

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what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? pretty much everything because dead babies aren't a laughing matter

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What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

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So FDR walks into a bar.

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Woman's rights.

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what do you call a small midget? a smidget.

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Why did the tight shirted Asian man spend all his time on his knees? Because when he was 12 he was forced to work in a textile factory where he lost his lower legs.

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A man walks into a bar. Since he was only moving at a slow walking pace, he was fine, no further events worth noting occured.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because yo mama so fat and the pig ate my poop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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