Why didn't the 34 year old woman fit into some size 14 jeans? Because she was size 16.

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A handicapped man rolls into a bar. He buys a drink, talks for a while, and rolls out.

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Why did the blonde run into a screen door? Because screen doors are difficult to see when one is running at full speed

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Waseem is such a hard worker on Anti Joke all day.

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Why did the man fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Alan: My Grandfather has a jacket made from jews that he killed while he was in the SS. James: Really? Alan: No, I'm Korean. My Grandfather would not be allowing into the SS.

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How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

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Why couldn't Sally ride a bicycle? She doesn't have a bicycle. She also doesn't have legs.

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If Steve has 5 apples and gives Jenny 2, it is obvious they aren't eating oranges.

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How do you pacify Hitler? Give him jews.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

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Why is the world flat? I don't know ask the Native American who was curious enough to take his canoe, go out into the middle of the water and never come back.

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Knock, Knock.. Whose there? Its the Census Man!!

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Is this the krusty krab? No, this is Patrick

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead live in the same neighborhood. They are Desperate Housewives

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

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A boy and a girl are each granted a wish Girl: I want us to be lovers until the end of the world Boy: I want the world to end

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how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

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There was a jew, a german and you Despite you were there, the holocaust was You should feel guilty

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having enough money to buy an apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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