Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at rhyming...... TITS

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Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

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How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree Because it died

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What gas station can u make a Kwick trip at? Kwick trip

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What looks like poo but is rainbow colored? Rainbow colored poo.

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Knock Knock. Hello Frank! How'd you know it was me? There is a window next to the door.

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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Why do sharks swim in salt water? Pepper water makes them sneeze! Why do whales swim in salt water? They can't survive in fresh water.

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the danced cus they were young, they danced cus they were free, but mostly the danced cus they needed to pee

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Why do elephants paint there feet yellow? so they can hide in mustard bottles. Have you ever seen an elephant in a mustard bottle? exactly

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? Peanut butter is a food paste made primarily from dry roasted peanuts, while jam is a product made with whole fruit, that is cut into pieces or crushed.

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What did the elephant say to the whale? Nothing, neither can talk and they live in very different biomes.

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What's worse than getting no up-votes on an anti-joke? Getting down votes

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A man walks into a bar, looks around, and reveals an AK-47 assault rifle he had been concealing beneath his trenchcoat. He then turns to his left and fires repeated shots around the bar, to the surprise and fear of many. Then he shoots himself. The death total is estimated at 9, including the shooter, while the total injured is around 22.

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Q: Why did the kid get Christman presents in August? A: Because it was cheaper than chemotherapy.

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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Your mom is like a tire iron: she's a whore

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A man about to get on a plane forgets to store his utility knife in his bag before the security scan. He is taken to a back room for private questioning and fined.

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Eat My Food!!! Joking I dont have any food

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roses are red, violets are red, a girl had her period in my garden.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends. How hard can you throw?

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How are people and jelly beans similar? No one likes the black ones

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Two pandas walked into a bar. The bar was in china.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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