A man walks into a bar He drinks the night away with his friends *Plot Twist* It was a dream He has no friends.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet his friend the horse at a bar

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Kid 1: Hey, guess what? Kid 2: Your MOM! HAHA! Kid 1:... My mother died two months ago from brain cancer after being shot in the head while fighting for our country in Iraq... Kid 2:.... um.. Your mom...?

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it lacked the requisite musculature to facilitate locomotion

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I have a knock knock joke. You go first.

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What you you call peanut butter on the top of a dog house Peanut butter

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What did the girl say to the mute? "Why are you so quiet?" How did the mute respond? He flipped her off.

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Who swept the woman off her feet? A kidnapper

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Knock knock. Who's there? ... Damn knick knockers.

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What is worse than when the Titanic sunk? You Cannot say. You were on that ship.

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Why did i write this? I was bored

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Ron Paul for President!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was being chased by a wolf, who promptly ate the chicken when they arrived at the other side.

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A pair of brothers walked into a bar. It was where the wake was being held from their mother's funeral.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

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What's black, smoking, and sitting at the top of the stairs? Steven Hawking after a house fire.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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A Chinese man and an american lived together. The Chinese man said to the american man, "I'm going to walk the dog." The American said "OK." Later that night they were eating dinner. The American said to the Chinese man, "I don't think that I've had this meat before. What is it?" The Chinese man replied, "The dog." The American, surprised, spewed out the food he was eating. "THE DOG!?" he yelled, shocked. The Chinese man replied, "Yes, I TOLD you I was going to wok the dog!"

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Doctor Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains! Really? Well that's the least of your problems. Your test came up HIV positive.

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How do you kill a politician? You set him on fire and stab him in the back 20 times.

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Boyfriend: Why are you so negative all the time? Girlfriend: I'm not! I'm positive! Boyfriend: No your not your arguing with me right now and you... Narrator: The girl takes the pregnancy test and shoves it in the guys mouth kicks him in the nuts and runs out the door.

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Son come here OK daddy Daddy what are you doing DADDY NO! DADDY NO!

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Why did the Mexican get arrested? Because he crossed the border.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because chickens just walk places. they have no agenda.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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