What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? They do, they just choose not to compete certain years.

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What's one thing good about cancer? (make them guess) Nothing you fricking prick!

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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A man walks into a bar and says ow. Two men walk into a bar, which is weird, because the second guy should have seen it coming.

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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Charlie Sheen walks into a bar, he relapses.

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? a new bike.

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A penguin walks into a bar and orders a beer................ PENGUINS DON'T WALK OR TALK

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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Why did Ralph fall off the swing He was distracted because he had a perfect view of the twin towers when 9-11 was happening

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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69

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a black guy walks into a fast food place.

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A duck flies to someone's backyard pool. Moments later it takes a dump , then suddenly flies away.

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Knock knock Whos there Who Who who Don't stutter it was just a joke

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24

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Why did the straight man turn gay? He didn't. He was always gay but had to hide this from his family and friends because of an overwhelming sense of homophobia in his community.

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Me: What postion in baseball does a cat play? You: I don't know? What? Me: I don't know i haven't eaten that part yet.

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Q: What did the Catholic man say in response to the gay man asking what he likes to do? A: golf

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What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

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What type of pants do Mario and Luigi wear? Levi or Denim, I'm not sure why but probably because you can get a nice fitting pair for only a couple of bucks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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