If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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How do you keep a dog from chasing it's tail? cut off it's legs.

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I've got a dig bick. You that read wrong. You also read the second sentence wrong.

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Whats better than a panda? A panda with an ice cream cone.

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Why couldn't the ten-year-old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? I don't keep a Ferrari in my garage. (????)?

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What's harder than a rock? The dead baby in my freezer.

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A man walks into the bar with his parrot, but sadly the parrot was attacked ferociously by a flock of seagulls and it died.

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A brunette child with a blond mother is crying. Why? Because his father was just mauled by a Scandinavian dragon.

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why so serious? because your too serious.

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Q. Whats the worst soccer team in the world. A. Ass-enal.

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What's worse than the holocaust? The sun exploding.

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what do blondes and rocks have in common? they are both material and have extension.

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Whay is jerry so bad at parallel parking? He just got a sex change yesterday.

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Stat1st1cs sh0w 0ne 1n f1ve pe0ple d0n't understand b1nary

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What's worse than losing your wallet? Having a miscarriage.

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How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says Why the bloody face? The shark replies by saying my wife beat me with a stick. Considering that sharks cant talk, the bartender ends up going to the doctor to see if he may be dillousinal.

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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Q. Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? A. Because they're actually becoming generally obsolete with the advent of the cell phone.

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A salad, hes on a diet

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What's worse than The Holocaust? Nothing, The Holocaust was a dark and scary time.

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A man asked another man what he was doing the next day. The man then proceeded to tell him that he had not intended on having any plans due to the fact that he was planning on killing himself within the next twenty three hours.

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if a dog won't bark, there's no way you can teach it to talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops