How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How does a black chick tell if she's pregnant? When she pulls the tampon out, all the cotton is already picked.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I have an erection My mom!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

how do you starve a man who is on welfare? hide his food stamps under his work boots.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "What's up?" The man replies, "The opposite of down."

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's Green and invisible? This cabbage --------------------------->>>>>

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A black man walks in to a bar, and is promptly escorted from the premises, for being under the age of 21

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the black kid get on his report card? Math: C- English: D+ Social Studies: C+ Gym:A+ Science: D- N.P.P.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why is chad so gay? Its his choice.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Did you here about the guy who got his right leg and right arm cut off? I made him up but he would make one good anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what do you do to gay guy who wants to have anal sex with you? beat him with a steel baseball bat in his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

The president, Oprah and Abraham Lincoln are sitting in a crashing airplane. lol

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Once upon a time, there was a horse that had no legs, it laid on the ground it's entire life and died. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

An invisible man sleeping in your bed! Who ya gunna call? Most likely the local police department to report the strange incident possibly brought on by lack of sleep. NOT Bill Murray.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What causes floods? Too much water.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man yells at the top of the Grand Canyon, "Heyoooooo" He hears His voice echo multiple times. He yells again, "Heyoooooo" This time he hears his echo and a girl yell "heyo" back to him from within the canyon. He looks down. He falls. A mountain goat breaks his fall. The man is so thankful for the goat. He says, " Thank you goat! You saved my life!" The goat then pulls out a gun, and shoots him thrice. The man dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Roses are black Violets are black I lost my eyesight at two years old and all I see is black.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why didn't the dog like baseball? Being a dog, it had no idea or interest in what baseball is.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Why is a man like a packet of cards? Both are organic.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's better than finding a worm in your apple? -The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops