A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q. Why did uncle Al die of smoking? A. His socks were to big -Noah Weisskopf

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Michael Jackson go to McDonald's? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? Learn to duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -101

-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

thumb_up thumb_down +67

What's flaming and has wheels? A firepit. I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A Polish man is walking down the street carrying a brown paper bag. He runs into one of his buddies, who asks, "Hey! What's in the bag?" The man tells his friend that he has some fish in the bag. His friend says, "Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one." The man replies, "I'm sorry, my friend, but gambling is against my morals, especially when my family's only nutrition for the week is on the line."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did the goat go up the ladder? because its ladder goat

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side . Unfortunately , there was a car accident and shrapnel from the explosion [caused by gas on fire] cut his head off causing the old woman to faint , and later die a horrible death .

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is x (4 - 10) + 6879 (333) x 678912345 - 9.87537 when x equals pi? Answer: YOUR FACE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the man feel so guilty after having sex...... He found out He was a tranny

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What happend to the Jew when he was near the fire place He very carefully tended to it

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a dog in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your mama's so fat, that during her last physical checkup, her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to lose some weight before any serious medical conditions arose that would adversely affect her health and well being in a chronic fashion.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Who saw 9/11 as a miracle? The undertakers

thumb_up thumb_down -20

This is my favorite antijoke.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Your mom is so poor that she collect food stamps is on welfare and lives in section 8 housing and cannot find a job that provides her a livable wage

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +84

Whats pink and looked like an angry bulldog? Your moms vagina last night

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why didn't Dave buy his wife a watch for her birthday? Because she already had one.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

19 roosters walk into a roller coaster

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops