whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer,

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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What's worse than having to listen a song from Justin Bieber? Being wrongfully convicted of child molestation,rape and murder and spending 50 years in prison before being acquited by DNA-analysis.

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What's the difference between a bird and a wheel? They both fly, I lied about the wheel.

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What did the two best friends do before the asteroid hit the Earth? They hugged each other goodbye.

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there once was a time before bonerss it sucked it sucked real bad like that kid who never washes his gym closes bad Mason Manning JLR

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whats long and pointy and guys always have to brag about whos got the biggest one? their christmas trees

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The Mets win the World Series

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What can an elevator do that a mexican can't? Raise a family.

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What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a cheese grader? How the hell should i know?

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why did the girl cry because she was raped

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What do you call a man with no head? Nothing he has no ears.

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A: If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? B: A test can be many things: 1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one's eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete's endurance. 2. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability. 3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: "A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together" (Haynes Johnson). 4. Chemistry a. A physical or chemical change by which a substance may be detected or its properties ascertained. b. A reagent used to cause or promote such a change. c. A positive result obtained. 5. A cupel. A: Oh.

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3 Men walk into a bar, they all order up a drink. And then they paid their tabs and left.

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What did one new born baby say to the other new born baby.? Babies don't have teeth therefore they are unable to talk.

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Why did lil' Jenny fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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So this Horse walked into a bar... Just kidding, it was Sarah Jessica Parker.

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Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

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Knock Knock Who's There Seventeen Thirty Eight I'm like hey what's up hello Seen yo pretty ass soon as you came in that door I just wanna chill, got a sack for us to roll Married to the money, introduced her to my stove Showed her how to whip it, now she remixin' for low She my trap queen, let her hit the bando We be countin' up, watch how far them bands go We just set a goal, talkin' matchin' Lambos Got 56 a gram, prob' a 100 grams though Man, I swear I love her how she work the damn pole Hit the strip club, we be letting bands go Everybody hating, we just call them fans though In love with the money, I ain't never letting go And I get high with my baby (baby) I just left the mall, I'm getting fly with my baby, yeah

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How did the black man get put in jail? He didn't, he never did anything illegal

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What do you do if you find blood in your poo? Stop stabbing yourself in the arse with a fork on wednesdays...

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What's black, white, and can't turn around in a phone booth? A nun with a javelin through her chest.

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Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs away. Martin was a lonely man

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a man said hi.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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