I was going to write about anti-climaxes but then I didn't.

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What does a chicken get for Christmas? A trip to the processing plant.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink then walks out of the bar ...

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Yo momma so ugly, except she's not. She's looking beautiful today.

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When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Well, life isn't a physical being so chances are low that it will actually hand you lemons.

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What did the banana say to the tree? Nothing, bananas can't talk

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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What do you call a guy being followed by about 30 others with high powered rifles? A military general serving for his country.

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What do you call ten black men running down the street? A race.

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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knock knock whos there? the police, your under arrest

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What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

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A disabled man runs into a bar. He notices he's not disabled and realizes his mother lied to him his whole life.

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ASUS Live Update has stopped working.

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Why are Asian people bad drivers? Coincidental cases of blurred vision.

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A dyslexic blind man walks into the bartender behind the bra

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What did Robin say to Justin Beiber? You're gay. Angus L.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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What is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans

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what happened to the man who ran straight into a brick wall he bounced off it, fell back, stumbled. he lifted his head up, looked at it, put his arm to his head. got up, groaned, dusted himself down, and walked towards the pub.

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Why did the jews get off the bus? Because i threw a fridge at it

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Roses are red.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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