Q: Why did the purple cantalope eat the curtains at midnight? A: Sassafrass.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Engage in a lively debate with a friend, and when they are about to stump you, respond to whatever they say next with "What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Boob

thumb_up thumb_down -31

You want to know what is worse than having a teen parent? Being a teen parent.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what do you call a brown man that has been repeatedly shanked and has been fucked up the arse by 10 Rag heads in one night and thrown in a well to slowly and painfully die? Lloyd.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Yarn

thumb_up thumb_down -41

when life gives you lemons, you should go to the hospital as you may have dyslexia

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the little girl cry? Because she had just witnessed the slaughter of her entire family and friends in front of her eye, leaving her not only peerless and alone, but also with the mental scars which come with witnessing such a harrowing ordeal.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Quit repeating the damn jokes you jackasses it ruins the laughter. Like if you agree.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What do the Wizard of Oz, Popeye and my sweaty, fat asshole all have in common? The letter O.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? A friendly individual who cares nothing about racial differences and instead judges people based on character.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the gorilla have big nostrils? Because it was a trait passed on to him from his biological father.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a politician on fire? A tragic death for the American public..

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he lost his grip on the branch and was unable to reach another before reaching the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A hispanic man eats a taco and enjoys. He is kicked in the nuts 2 months later.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A:what happens when you throw a black guy down from a sky-scraper Q:he dies

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A haiku for you Would not provide enough space To say all the nice

thumb_up thumb_down -13

the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the blind, deaf and dumb boy get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops