Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Dead babies can't paint.

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? They were my friends.

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It's gone. It's all gone. There's nothing left.

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What do a dog and a tree have in common? BARK!

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing because they are on opposite sides of the earth

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Timmy: "Dear Santa, why don't you ever come to my house?" Santa: "Because you don't have parents, Timmy" THE END

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What do you call a black guy running from the cops? Nothing. He was out for his morning jog and he happened to run by the police.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's coop was faulty and thus it escaped.

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Yeah, I know too, its as if "Omg he has not replied in 5 seconds something must be wrong", sorry about that. Not endorphin person? That cannot be too good.

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple This joke

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What do you do when you're surrounded by 15 vampires and 15 werewolves? Stop pretending.

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Have you seen Jennifer Aniston's newborn baby? Neither has she.

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Why did the mathematician cross the road? To get his mail.

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Safety in numbers? Try telling that too six million Jews.

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And Stephen Hawking said.

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Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why the second koala fall out of the tree? because it was hit by the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? because it thought it was a game.

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how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow And daisies can be a wide variety of colours.

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How you know when dislextic

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The Christian Bible.

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Know what's worst than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Obama

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A moose walks into a grocery store, he asks the deer where he could find some bisquits, the deer says "oh it's in aigle 6." So the moose goes to aigle 6...and there ain't no bisquits!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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