Me: "Dad! Can you make me a sandwich?" Dad: "Poof! You are now a sandwich."

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What's black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra.

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Why was the girl sad? Because she was, you idiot!

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Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

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Why did the man cross the road? To get to the homeless shelter.

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Your Mother

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Where's Wally? In a children's book.

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ur mum

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex

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you know whats not funny white boards.

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Person 1: 'Ask me if I'm a tree' Person 2: 'Are you a tree?' Person 1: 'No.'

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart. I am still waiting for a transplant.....

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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ARGH! LADY THAT SNAKE BIT MY PECKER! YOU HAVE TO SUCK THE POISON OUT NOW! OMG SURE, err...Meh, thats not a poisonous snake... Oh... dammit! I mean phew! Ouch ouch ouch!

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Whats 9+10? 19

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Roses are red Violets are purple I just got raped by a clown

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What is your name, sir? My name is not Sir, my name is Jeff.

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ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait i think i missed the joke, what?

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What did casino dealer say to the other? Every day I'm shuffling.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What do you call two black people on one bike? Organized Crime

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i heard something so funny it made me crap my pants you were a mistake

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Q: Why did the man have no legs? A: He lost them when his humvee hit a roadside bomb during his last tour in Iraq.

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Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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