Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Ham and Cheese!

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Why did Ant Man die? He was shot by a gangster, duh.

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Bear walks into bar and says to eagle may I have a................... drink eagle says why the long pause hohahahohahahohaha

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Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

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Study from real life: My trip to Texas. (From the time when I was interested in mormon-ism.) Texan: And here is my gun collection, great for shootin yer Mexican scum. Me: Uh I am Norwegian but my ancestors where Russian or something so my skin is... Texan: *points gun at me and pushes trigger halfways* Just kidding der son, sure you aint no Mexican though? Okay just checkin ya know... Me *sweating bullets* Texan guys gun go off almost hitting me and breaking a vase.. Conclusion: He blamed me, everyone had lunch outside later, everyone kept looking at the "trigger happy MEXICAN"... Nero: By then I began grasping the fact that I was better suited for the study of the dark arts... And also learned that in Mormonism, Heaven and Hell are planets locked into war, where black people where neutral, and red people are demon supporters, but WE CAN ALL BE SAVED BY BECOMING WHITE! JUST LIKE THE ANGEL MORONI! Conclusion two: Moroni... Lol.

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What do you call a deaf person? You don't they can't hear you.

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Person 1: Hey Person 2: What's up? Person 1: Kill Yoself Person 2: Alright

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why did the boy drop his ice-cream? because he got hit by a bus

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Q. Why did Steve Carell, the 40 year old virgin, fail to get laid? A. Erectile Dysfunctioning.

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

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Two black guys jump off of a building; who falls first? The one that jumped first

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Whats pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff

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Q: Why couldn' the muslim eat pork? A: Because he had been raped and killed by a giant scorpion.

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~Chinese Anti Joke~ What is the difference between American army and Chinese army? American army teach youngsters to use their tanks. Chinese army smash youngsters with their tanks.

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Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

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why was the boy mad at school? something probably upset him.

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Whats worse than dying? Nothing.....?

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Why did the mother cross the road? To find her dead baby that was hit the night before.

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Why did Sally fall off a tree? She wanted to get down

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Why did the boy fall out of his tree house? the tree house was hit by lightning

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Where's a bad place to park your car? In a no-parking zone

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Q: How do you stop a hijacked plane? A: The plane can't be hijacked because the pilots cabin is not accessable until the plane lands.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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