Ted Haggard.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why couldnt i think of an anti-joke? cuz i was too high and a fly distracted me

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?. I dont know either it was dark.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Jacob Mckeand licks his gooch everynight. Some nights he even covers it in maple syrup. 'mmmmm' he thinks to himself as he licks his 7 inch gooch up and down.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the muffin say to the other muffin? "Hello, nice to meet you."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but she had a very muscular vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what's funnier than a dead baby in a clown costume? philanthropy

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? . . . . . . . Roberto

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

How do you upset Muslims? Kill their leader. Whoops, already did.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the blonde become a cannibal? Because she got hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a man who has reached the highest level of prestige in all Call of Duty games? A Virgin

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What do you call a mulsim that tattles on you for vandilising muslim propaganda Target Practice

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Person 1. Knock-knock. Person 2. Who's there? Person 1. The doctor. Person 2. The doct-- Person 1. You have cancer and have about three weeks to live.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q-What happens when you grow tomatoes in Kansas on an odd number year when its an average of 398degrees Kelvin ? A-You eat em

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

who did the strait guy marry? a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why are black people so good at basketball? because they all can run jump steal and shoot

thumb_up thumb_down +7

well it rained all night the day i left, the weather it was dry, i can't remember the words but susana don't you cry oh susana don't you cry for me for i come from alabama with a banjo on my knee oh

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Jimmy: Knock, knock, Grandmother: Who's there? Jimmy: Jimmy Grandmother: Jimmy who? And then Jimmy held back tears as he knew grandmother's Alzheimer's disease was getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops