What do gamers call an abortion on quintuplets? PENTAKILL!!!

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ouch!" Later that day, the man's daughter takes him to the doctor because he's acting strangely. The doctor gives him an MRI and the daughter is told that her father sustained severe brain damage from the injury. Now the daughter has to juggle taking care of her father, taking care of a child she bore from a drunken one-night stand, and recovering from her meth addiction at a rehab facility, all while making minimum wage at her dead end job. Eventually she hangs herself, leaving her father and child to slowly die on their own.

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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How does Ron Weasley greet Harry in the morning? Mornin' Horry, how did ghe' sleep?

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What's worst than being stung by a bee? being stung by two bees. what's worst than that? The Holocaust. What's worst than that? being stung by three bees.

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Is your refridgerator running? because if its not, you should probably have it looked at by a repair man,

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Q: A Jew lost a penny, a nickel, and a dime. If he found the nickel and the dime, what didn't he find? A: The Mesiah

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A priest, a monk, and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order drinks and keep the conversation to non-controversial topics.

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Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

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I'm a Banker. A woman asked if I could check her balance... So I pushed her off a cliff.

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Stop reading these anti-jokes and go study for your externals!

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Your mother's so fat that when she goes through rotating doors, the doors rotate around her.

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Knock knock. Use the doorbell, dumbass.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the blonde jump off the bridge? She was clinically depressed and wanted to end her life

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An American, an Irish man, a Chinese man and a Black man walk in to a Bar, the Bartender takes their order

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A: "Knock knock." B: "Who's there?" A: "John Doe." B: "John Doe who?" A: "..."

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Why are birds purple? because it fits the sky why are bats purple? bats aren't purple

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

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whats gay and american? a gay american

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What did the Muslim say to the Sikh? "Hello. Lovely weather today."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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