How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Why does it matter, they can't chuck wood in the first place.

What did the blonde get for Christmas? A Brain

Roses are red, Violets are blue Oh, that's good to know.

One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

Kid: mom what happens when grandpa farts? Mom: well son... Everyone leaves the room

This blind man read my mind the other day. I swear, it's like he has a 5th sense!

Where did Wendy decide to work for her part time job? TACO BELL

Why did the chicken cross the road? A man held him at gunpoint and threatened to kill his entire family.

Q: What is the fastest way to get insulted? A: Go screw yourself m0therf0cker!

I tell an anti joke!.

Q.If you are European in the bathroom, what are you in the kitchen? A. A woman.

Me "knock knock" Tramp "who's there" Me "nobody you havent got a door"

why was the chinese man so good at math it was his favorite subject

A: Ask me if im a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

A blonde, brunette, and a red head were walking on the side of the road and a fridge landed on them and they died. At least they still could go to their funerals.

why did the stupid boy put his clothes on his valentines? because hes stupid

Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

Knock Knock Who's There? The I.R.S.

What do Elephants never forget? 9/11

A girl is talking with her boyfriend - God, you're selfish!!! - No, i sell meat.

A man recently set the world record for jumping into a foot of water from 50 feet high. Luckily, this made the clean-up rather simple.

Q: What's white, black, and red all over? A: The yellow brick road

what has two legs and bleeds? half a dog

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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