What did the whale say when he ran into a wall? - Oh Shit

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How did two Jews react when they saw a quarter on the sidewalk? They agreed to donate it to charity.

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? The latter has two additional letters added to the beginning.

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Patient: Doctor Doctor! Doctor: Yes. Patient: I think I'm a moth! Doctor: You don't need a doctor, you need Mental help. Patient: Yes I know. Doctor: Then why are you here? Patient: The light was on.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

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Oh look, a dead guy. He must have died

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What did Justin Bieber get for Christmas? An iPod Touch and a few nice sweaters.

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My cousins so stupid she makes straight A's

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this sentence will end in the way you expected.

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Roses are red.

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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Why could the girl climb out of the pool? She drowned

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What do you call a man with no legs? A paraplegic.

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why did the chicken cross the street? so it could throw a fridge at you, you are very loud at night for some reason and you wake everyone up. the chicken then goes home to watch gay porn videos.

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what did the dead woman say the boy? I am dead.

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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9/11 isn't funny. 19 Muslims died that day.

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What's the difference between a woman and a car? A woman is merely a useful object, whereas a car deserves love, care, and respect.

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The declaration of Independence was singed in? Pen.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one Cool

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What's worse than an apple with a worm? Serial Murder.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife just died from pancreatic cancer."

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? Cooked until it reaches an internal temperature of 180 degrees Fahrenheit to lower the risk of contracting diseases such as salmonella.

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Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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