How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

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three peanuts where walking down a dark alley, one was asalted

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knock knock who's there? ketchup ketchup who? better catchup with me!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like pussy Because it feels really good when I stick my penis inside her vaginal opening

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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man was playing with his little toddler. the man put his thumb through his fingers and said "got your nose" the baby laughed. the cops then burst down his door and arrested him for robbery of personal items. they werent laughing.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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canaan and mallory

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Knock knock I don't play games, go away! Knock knock How did you get in my house? Knock knock Stay back I have a weapon! Knock knock What are you!!! Knock knock Oh god, someone please help! Knock knock What do you want, I can give you money. Knock knock Just don't hurt my family, please. Knock knock!!! WHO'S THERE!!! I am.

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hi my name is 50 cent my mom swallowd 2 quarters befor i was born dsthgiudghyudgfuawyg

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PISS OUT MY ASS!!!!!

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A little boy ran to the pool to see how long he could hold his breath. He slipped and fractured his skull.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was no traffic for miles and the chicken was in search of basic needs.

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Why did the fisherman die on a fishing trip? He had a heart attack.

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What do you call a black man with no legs? Crippled.

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Two cannibals were eating a clown. Good.

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Why is John gay? Because he enjoys the penis

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Elephants can't jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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Why does the groom wear a black tux? Because he knows a funeral when he sees one.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I forgot.

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Roses are red violets are blue. I have amnesia so say hello to your nan when you get home

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When life hands you lemons, you should question your sanity

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." The man of the house subsequently notifies his government that genetic engineering is going awry.

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A Poem that would be from a stocker: Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a Gun Get in the Van and NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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