A middle aged bald man goes to Chuck E. Cheese with a hood and a lump in his back pocket. He has a somewhat enjoyable time with his offspring and leaves.

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Why couldnt the girl ride her bike? becuase she was dreaming she actually doesnt have a bike her family is poor in these hard economic times.

what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

My dog poops u pick it up if i poop ill say f@#% you eat it DumbS%^&

An Aisian failed a test

Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a pedophile.

Why was the black man good at basketball? Because he practiced.

Where should a 500 pound alien go? On a diet.

Q why was John bullied A Becuase he told kids that bullying was a bad and serious problem to get them to stop bullying jimmy unfortunately Jimmy killed himself because he was bullied to much and didn't want to live.

Why couldnt Julia find her cat? she has gone crazy from old age, her cat actually died 10 years ago

what do you get when you combine fire and water? alcohol

What did the bartender say to the black guy? hi there

Q. How many blonds do you know? A. I don't know any blonds, but are you perhaps talking about blondes? Because if so, I still don't know any.

What did the man in need of a prosthetic arm get from the hospital? A diagnosis for cancer.

Redneck girls. Now there's a joke.

Knock Knock. Peep Hole!!

Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of 5

A cat jumped into a swimming pool It drowned and was cremated.

Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

What worse than rain Osama Bin Laden

if i have 2 bananas, and you have 2 bananas, then together we have 4 bananas what are the chances?

if quizzes are quizzical, arent tests testical?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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