THERE'S THE IDENTITY THIEF GET HIM!

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What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people and regularly attend a synagogue and pizza is and italian food that many people find to be enjoyable to eat

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What did Petunia say to the other Petunia Hi there Petunia

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Q: Why did the wihte man buy a burger? A: cuz he was hungry

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A drunk guy walks out of an AA meeting.

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Scenario: Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub The first one says, "Hey, can you pass the radio please" And the second one replies, "Sorry, my cousins are made of soap."

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Why didnt little timmy have a pencil? He was poor

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What's the capital of Thailand? The letter 'T'...

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.

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So a catholic priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a beer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, go ask the chicken.

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What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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Q: What do starving children in Africa eat? A: Nothing

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My nieghbor is blonde, but she doesnt like corn dogs or anything of that sort because her boyfriend is mexican. Mexcans are banned from eating corn dogs because they illegally crossed the border. Her dog wieghs about 8.9485763 pounds. Her nieghbor also protests corndogs because she cant fit throught her customized door which was 39 feet long. Why was six afraid of seven? because that lady is 700 pounds.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because Osama Bin Laden is dead.

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why was 14 scared of 15? 7-8-9

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I'm bleeding, Shit.

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A Muslim gets off his plane from Saudi Arabia to New York and walks to customs where a TSA agent asks him "what is you business in America?" The Muslim responds "I am here for a vacation". He walks on, and returns home 10 days later.

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Billy: hey dave, wanna hear a joke? Dave: what? Billy: oh yeah, you are deaf.

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How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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Q.What did the homeless kid get from santa? A. Play Doe. Because he was a good boy. Q.what did the Rich Kid get form santa? A Coal. Because he was a bod boy. The rich kid then got mad and threw the coal at the homeless kid hitting him on the head which killed him of enturnaly bleeding.

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Johnny woke up christmas morning, went downstairs and opened his presents to find he had an iPhone, iPad,Ps3 Laptop, the full lot. Then his mate came around and Johnny bragged about all the stuff he had got. Then his mate replied," I wish i had cancer".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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