What do you call a dog with 2 legs? Doesn't matter, it's not going to come anyways.

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, a poor african child probably has nothing and is starving to death while you and Chuck debate on how to spend your five dollars.

When life gives you carrots, don't make carrot juice, because it's gross.

Why did the man masturbate? Because there was no one who wanted to partake in sexual intercourse with him.

How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

wetly sucks dick just like teh boowb

Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

cerleb i wrote the one about melons!

whats black, white, and red all over? your mum

Top 10 Signs You Might Be Lonely and in Need of a Friend 10. Your closest friend has a skull tattooed on his knuckles and goes by the nickname bruiser. 9. You are becoming a little too fond of chess and pocket protectors. 8. You parents complain that your friends are a "Pack of wild chickens"-and it's not a figure of speech. 7. You follow your mailman around in hopes of a good conversation. 6. A cop pulls you over for speeding, and you add him to your Chistmas card list. 5. Your equation for a snappy party = TV remote + bean dip. 4. You forward e-mail jokes to yourself regularly. 3. You six best friends are Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Rachel. 2. You've named all of your roaches. 1. Phone solicitors hang up on you!

What do you call a room with an oven and ten Jews in it? A kitchen.

What is as dry as a bone? A bone

What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

What is white and fluffy? A cotton ball.

69 :) 3====D:). [{}]:)

How do you make a Bong Ki mad? Call him a Bong Ki.

Q: How many dwarfs does it take to change a light bulb? A: 1 or 2. One to change the light bulb and maybe another one to guards the staircase for the safety of the first one when the ceiling is too high (Wich happens almost every time because they are dwarfs.)

What's worse than an asian driver? A blindfolded asian driver.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family!!!!!!!!!!!!!¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡!¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡!!!!!!¡¡¡¡

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

Why is a man like a packet of cards? Both are organic.

name one thing that is impossible!! A sober irishman

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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