How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

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How Long is a Chinese man.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Do you want to French kiss? What are you, racist

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3 bears walk into a market. A little girl sneaks into their house. Meanwhile, people are freaking out because there are THREE BEARS in the market.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make a great milkshake? Because he's had a successful career where he has made a substantial amount of money, allowing him to purchase high quality ingredients.

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Why did the black 10 year old miss school? Because his grandmother just had a severe heart attack and the whole family is coming in to visit and pay their last respects.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car> "Get in the car."

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Why didn't Susan go to school on show-and-tell day? Because she's dead.

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Why did the ceiling fall down? Because there weren't any walls.

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Getting an STD. What's worse than mixing up the order of the joke and the punchline?

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Breast cancer.

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A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

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A black man, an Asian man, and a white man are stranded in the wilderness after their plane crashed. The black man has a flashlight, the Asian a bottle of water, and the white man a can of beans. They put their racial differences aside to increase chance of survival but were eaten by a pack of coyotes.

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Why did the man jump off the bridge? He was clinically depressed and wanted to commite suicide

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A gay guy walks into a bar. Nothing is said to him, because homosexuality is accepted in this area.

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Whats the best thing about chuck norris? he's chuck norris.

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What's young and not funny? Todays anti-joke writers.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 sodomized his whole family.;

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"hey bro" "WHATS UP" "nothin..... I heard you had your first bj yesterday." "YEAH!!" "how'd it taste?" ........

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A basket full of puppies can do anything, except put out a fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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