Why is amouse afraid of cheese? Because they usually die when they get it

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How do black people gain access to houses? Through the front door.

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What was the last thing the clown said to his wife before she died? Rebecca, just stay with me, the ambulance is almost here.

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When A Shouty Man Goes Into His House. His Sister Nearly Kills Him So When A Shouty Man Goes Into A Library. The Books Try To Kill Him.

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What did the Shark say when he had no lunch? We have a FISHue!

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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why did Suzie fall off the swing? because she had no arms.... well then knock knock! whis there? suzie. suzie who? she doesnt know either...she has no arms!

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YOUR MOMMA IS SO FAT WHEN SHE JUMPED FOR JOY........she didn't get stuck because there's nothing to get stuck in.

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what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing? Answer - A gay homosexual

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Charcoal is black, So is my neighbor.

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Knock Knock whose there your biological parents REALLY No

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So, there's a lion loose in Colchester. Should've gone to Specsavers... [L]

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My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

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i knew this one arab, who was so arab that there was nothing funny about him

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What did john say to dave when his grandfather died ?

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Why did the boys uncle stop calling him? His uncle died of cancer 3 months ago.

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Where do cows go in their free time? burger king.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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What is the best thing about having sex with twenty-seven year old's? There's twenty of them

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A blind child sign is at the end of my street. I have never seen the child, but at least if he were to come outside at the right time period i might be able to spot him, whereas he would having no way of returning the gesture.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I´ll give anything to be screw by you.

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Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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