How do you stop a baby from crying? Put it in the microwave

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Yo mama's so fat that when she stepped on a scale, she saw her ex-boyfrien's phone number!

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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What did the Canadian Goose say to the Snow Goose? You're white.

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I've ben told to open all your windows when a tornado comes. Who told you THAT? A guy who opened all his windows when a tornado came.

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What did the blue man say to the red lady? Do you want to make purple? -A.M.M

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How do you make a clown cry? You hit them with an axe

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Why do you believe in evolution? Because it increases the power of my pokemon.

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josh simpson has cancer

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How do you circumsize a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.

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Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

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A russian gives away vodka.

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Two men walk into a bar. You would think at least one of them would've seen it.

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how do you break up with someone lightly and not hurt their feeling I dont want to hurt your feeling but i hate you

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What did the creepy old man do to the child? Took him to baseball practice

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why did the bear eat meat? he was hungry

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Dave: Hey, Doug! How was your day? Doug: My mother is dead.

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Q. Where do you find Indonesia A. On a map

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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What did one pile of dirt say to the other pile of dirt?? You're dirty

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What do fruits and computers have in common. Microsoft.

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Your momma is so fat, shes skinny.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra but like he actually did not a bar a womens breats.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their firstborn child.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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