whats red and spikey? an apple i lied about the spikes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats the difference between a black guy, spook and a porch monkey? they are all stupid, stinky, n-i-g-g-e-r-s!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +3,900

Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There are ten million million million million million million million million million million million sub-atomic particles in the universe that we can observe. Your mamma took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

You're smart... And I can tell a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a black Santa Claus A N i g g e r that doesn't exist

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the scientist go to the hospital? because he was experimenting with dangerous chemicals, and they exploded in his unsuspecting face. He doesn't have skin now.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why doesn't Michael sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Billy stop playing baseball? He lost his legs to cancer. Poor Billy.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man and his wife are disagreeing about what type of car to get. The wife continously nags him about getting her something that will go from 0-200 in 4 seconds, so he gets her a scale and buys himself a truck, 1 min later an abulance is called because the wife hit the husband with his new car.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock! Who's there? Oh, they were just nailing a notice of foreclosure to the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did LeBron James up and bail on Cleveland? He thought there was a greater opportunity for postseason success by playing in Miami.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. What about the vampires?

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Roses are red Violets are blue Wrong. Violets should be purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There were three hungry cows in a barn. One day, one of them finds a stick of butter on the ground, and notifies the other cows of his findings. Since the barn was ran like a democracy, the cows decided via 2/3 vote that the winner of the stick of butter should be decided by a checkers tournament. The problem is that there is no good way to run a checkers tournament with three cows because checkers is a one-on-one game. The first cow suggests trying to find another cow to join in so that they could have a bracket-style tournament, but there were only three cows that lived in the barn. The second cow suggests a round-robin style tournament. The third cow informs the second cow that there is a possibility of a tie because each cow can finish with one win and one loss among the two games in a round-robin tournament. The first cow suggests that the round-robin process can be repeated until there is a winner. This joint suggestion was approved by 2/3 vote by the cows. Finally the checkers tournament begins. The first cow says to the second cow, "you butter not beat me at checkers!"

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Do you believe this will change?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, he is very fond of animals and would never want to shoot them.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Is it a bird, Is it a plane, I don't know what it is but it's heading straight for the World Trade Centre

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops