A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says "It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave"

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOUR MOM! Me: -is dead.

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roses are red violets are blue im in class i shouldnt be on this

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An Indian child is born with three arms. After being ridiculed his whole life he kills himself at age 19.

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What's worse than breaking your arm? Blonde Girls

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Sticks and stones may break my bones and they can also break cars.

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Women's rights

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What has three legs and bleeds? A cat with a cut off leg.

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How many feet are in a yard? It depends how many people are in the yard.

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Why was the cook arrested? Tax evasion.

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What did the bicycle say to the fat kid? Nothing, bikes cant talk.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What do you call a mexican man with a rubber toe? Ruberto.

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why is georgia shit at making jokes i dont know

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Opinions are like assholes, neither one can ride a bike, except for the assholes

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nick ya honkin of b.o m8

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300 terrorists have a contest, they all jump off a tower and die. Who wins? Society.

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copy me and i will kill you

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There once was a man from Nantucket, With a penis so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin, If my ear was a cunt, that’d be strange.

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What did pinocchio want to become? Hepatitus free.

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Why did humpty dumpty have a great fall? He was committing suicide.

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A player under the tag "KiTcHeNGuRLxGaMerZ143" got a message after finishing a map on call of duty. "lol ur good."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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