Montague goes to the alcoholics meeting and says "Hello I'm Montague and I am an alcoholic" Evreyone points at him and chants "LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!" Montague is appaled, he expected to be welcomed with sympathy and respect. Then he realises his mistake. He has walked into meeting with a bottle of whisky and is wearing a Justin Beiber T Shirt

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Why did the orange put on the sun block? Because it was afraid of turning into a TAN-gerine!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 was a registered 6 offender

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gay marriage.

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What's the difference between a paper towel and a crab cake? Ones a paper towel and ones a crab cake

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Whats better at driving? A pig or a chicken. Neither because they are animals and it is impossible for the to even posses the power of controlling a moving vehicle.

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Why did the cheeseburger have seeds on its buns? Because it wasn't a taco.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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your moms soooooo FAT that she went on a diet and became really sexy

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? It was my car.

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how do you decrease the unemployment figures? abolish lidle, aldi, and netto

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, it is unclear what the chicken's motivation to cross the road was.

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why was the woman afraid of her bestfriend he raped her

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What did the red paint say to the blue paint? They said nothing. Paints don't talk and you need to see a doctor if you answered anything else.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it doesn't matter because he got hit by a bus before he could even make it.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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So three ants are in a straight line. The first ant said there's an ant behind me, the second ant said there's an ant behind me, and the third ant said there's an ant behind me. Why is this? The third ant lied.

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

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a guy takes viatamins thinking they would help him be healthy he choked and then he died from choking on a jolly rancher

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Why was little timmy crying? He walk in on his dad molesting a minor.

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Your Mama's so fat she need some serious medication treating overweight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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