Q What happened to the kid with diabetis and a one legged mom A. He got hit by a bus

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had a huge appendage; his arm has been swollen from birth. What a bummer

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Ill do a lot more than just try you, anyways, technically I learned to play the piano as a kid, but now I play on a small cheap keyboard (the musical kind) and sincerely, I kinda suck at it now, my abusive parents expected perfection beat the shit out of me blahblahblah, thats really all of it, trauma. My senses, well, when I was a kid I was terrified of gravity (one of the rarest fears in the world) because I had no idea I was consciously shifting things myself. So lets say... If I somehow end up hanging upside down, I just shift it, so my brain believes I am not and I experience no discomfort, there is a lot more to it, ill tell you, damn nose wont stop bleeding and my waifu got a bit scared, she got some bad bronchitis and she still has not recovered a 100 percent, but its just the cough now though... Lets just say that my ability to balance, is about 300-500 percent higher than any regular human, and that I can stand on one leg enough to beat the guiness record book 50 times... ...IIIIF I was in good shape, which I am not.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having your entire family killed in a car accident

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Why did the man stand on one foot? Because he had one leg.

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How do you kill a Jewish person? Like any other person, they are like any other person of any race and religion.

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what glows blue and howls at the moon at midnight? I dont know but i had sex with your mother.

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Why did the man die after getting his picture taken The camera was a gun

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Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

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What would Michael Jackson do if he saw a naked child alone in an alleyway? It is unknown, as he cannot be asked about this hypothetical scenario due to his passing in 2009.

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Roses are red violets are blue im a schizophrenic and i am too.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A bleeding zebra.

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Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo, time to go to Auschwitz.

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What do you call a black airman? A pilot!

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Do you want to hear some bad news? My wife just died Do you want to hear some good news? I'm single

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I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

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Tom Petty walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, you are visibly intoxicated. We cannot sell you liquor." The bar explodes because someone said no to Tom Petty.

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if i'm white and you're white, then who took my car keys?

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homosexual rights to marriage

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http://www.dafk.net/what/

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Why did the person have a scrape on their elbow? Because they fell down.

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Whats sad about 4 blacks riding of a cliff in a cadilac. It was a rental.

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What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An Astronaut.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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