What did the suicide bomber say on new years day? Happy new year.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What happened to the man who killed his family? Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the second monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A horse walks into a bar. Just kidding, it's a panda.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? A comment saying "I don't think that's an anti-joke"

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Guy 1: Are you alright? Guy 2: No, i'm half left!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock Who's there THE CHICKEN

thumb_up thumb_down +27

I milked the cow, but no gas came out.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Come in

thumb_up thumb_down +1

hit the thumbs down button

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a Simon with no arms and legs? Simon

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you make a tissue dance? Tissues are inanimate objects, they cannot dance and thinking otherwise is foolish.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If 25 cows walk in to the grocery store, what do you have? A scared manager. MOO!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did everyone laugh at the kid in the wheel chair as he entered the room? he was poor

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's got one leg and no eyes? A leg.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That depends on a variety of factors.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

It's Adam and Eve, not Steve and Eve!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what should you say when your mates nan is in hospital with a broken leg??? ha ha my nan can stand up shes just genetically better

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops