what did batman say to robin? get in the car

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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why did the plane crash? because fenton was driving it..."THE DEER HAD TO DIE"

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so i walk into a bar the bartender says what do you want i say a beer please he then goes one dear coming up soi thought tomy self should i tell him what i really said so i let him get the dear but for some reason he came out with tears i asked whats a matter he said you let me go to kill a dear

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

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What is worse than finding a real joke on Anti-joke.com? Starving children in Africa.

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Three men walk into a bar, the bartender asks why are you three men in here? The men look confused and suddenly leave

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, it seem's that someone has been bathroom on my lawn. "Martha, I'm not cleaning this up"

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Why was the black man good at basketball? Because he practiced.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Heisenberg...

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why was the carrot sad? it was stuck in an antelopes anus

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A Man walks in to a bar and orders a pint of lager, he notices something floating on the top of his drink so he calls over the bartender. "Excuse me, I think there's something in my dr-" The man's sentence was cut short as a man with a gun had just walked into the bar. He killed everyone, there were no survivors.

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My wife made me a sandwich

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Your moms so poor that when she went to buy a bag of chips, she couldn't buy the bag of chips, because she didn't have enough money to buy the bag of chips

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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What's worse than a stain on your carpet? Two stains on your carpet

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What do you call a black man jumping off a bridge? Suicide.

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A dog walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "why the long face?" The dog replies, "because I am a dog you idiot, my face always looks like this"

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How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

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A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

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what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped covered in semen.

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Ambulance. Ambulance who? Sir, we're going to need you to come down to the hospital, your son is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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