What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Domestic violence is a crime. She should leave her abusive partner and seek help.

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Why isn't Juley at school today? Oh Her father chopped off her arms and legs, gagged her, ripped out both eyes and threw her in a lake tied to cinderblocks!

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A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "No, all days are 24 hours long" the man replies, amazed at how uneducated the bartender is.

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Two men are sitting in a pub. One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.' The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidize her drug habit.'

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Hey, the eighties called, they were really excited about inventing a phone that could call the future.

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North Korea is red. Amerika is blue. But they both split blood. All over you

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Why is it funny when dogs talk ? Answer: they don't

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identical jokes get different votes.

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what do you get when you stick a pair of scissors in a four year old? an erection.

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A man buys a prius

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Why couldn't the mexican feed his family? Because a large percent of mexican immigrants in the United States do not have jobs due to dicrimination against illegal immigrants crossing the soutern border, thus rendering them more vunerable to unemployment is that is vastly present in the United States.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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what did the cab driver say to the black man when he got into his cab? Where to, sir?

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whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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The NHL playoffs

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

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What happened to the guy that got hit by a bus? He got hit by a bus and died.

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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there are 2 muffins in an oven they are cooked nicely and served as a tasty dessert

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left the fence open, so it wandered around and happened to cross a road.

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why couldnt the black man fly, becuse his master said he coudnt.

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WHY IS THIS SENTENCE CAPITALIZED? BECAUSE CAPS LOCK IS ON.

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josh Roberts you speccy CUNT

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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