Hellen keller

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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Polly went out for a cigarette. Then she was raped.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? It's Jim. Jim who? I'm your son, Jim. Are you losing your memory?

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A girl talks to her boyfriend about collage. What is his responce? Nothing. No one talks about college.

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What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

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how many babies can fit into a microwave i dont know i havent tried

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we asked cheryl cole what she would do if it was the last day on earth she replied.. id probably spend all the time with my family. wrong cheryl youd spend your last day on earth running away from other people wanting to accomplish their last day on earth dreams

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Knock knock Who's there No one We are all on the computer

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What is purple and green at the same time? Grapes, I lied about at the same time.

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I saw 2 cannibals eating a clown. What did I do? Called the local police.

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What did the Blind man say to the deaf man? Nothing, he doesn't know sign language

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How many Black People does it take to change a lightbulb? One. Changing a lightbulb is a very simple task.

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Why did Jack explode? He had a sneezier and his army friend Stephan threw a grenade at him because he was scared.

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When Life gives you lemons, Make Orange Juice!

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What has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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Whats the Difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? A Pile of dead babies is basically useless

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What did tarzan say when he saw 100 elephants coming over the hill? Look there's 100 elephants coming over the hill What did tarzan say when he saw 100 elephants coming over the hill with sunglasses on? Nothing he did not recognize them

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Kah-________-

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a carpet? I don't sell carpets.

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Why did the man die in a car crash? Answer: He was not fallowing the traffic laws and therefore risking the life of himself and others. This may have resulted from the possibility that he was under the influence of alcohol, he was under the influence of drugs, he was emotionally unstable from a bread up, he was emotionally unstable from because of an abusive family, he was emotionally unstable from losing his job, he had an abusive childhood, he was emotionally impaired, he was high from lack of oxygen, he wanted to wear a blindfold, he didn't like his car, liked to spin the steering wheel a lot, he thought the gas was the break, or he just didn't like traffic laws.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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