What did the carrot say when it was thrown out of an airplane? Nothing. It's a carrot.

What's the difference between video games and a naked chick? The Holocaust.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A: A quadriplegic.

Roses are red, my name is Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave

What did the woman get for her 18th birthday? Stabbed to death.

Chuck Norris doesn't do pushups, his personal trainer designed a regiment for him that didn't involve them.

Why did Biggie Smalls eat so much dark chocolate? His doctor suggest that he eat foods high in fiber.

What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

A: Ask me if im a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

Whats 9+10? 19

Why are rich people so rich? they're not poor.

What happens when 4 friends throw an egg into oncoming traffic, they hit a fire hydrant!

What starts with P and ends with orn? Porn

Ben: Something smells like updog. Jenny: What's updog? Ben: Nothin' much

Why did the young teenager cut class? To cut himself! Get it?! Its a pun!

what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? alot of things, worms don't taste that bad.

Why was the boy depressed? A. because his whole family was slaughtered on the kitchen floor.

knock knock whos there? your neighbor, dude im sorry but i swear i didnt see your kid on my drive way.

What did the innocent little girl get for Christmas? Lymphoma.

if life hands u melons, make melonade.

How do you leave a gay guy in suspense? How? ......................

how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

A boy is eating with his family. A man in the next booth tells him "You are very handsome and you will be a movie star when you grow up." Then the man leaves. On the way out, the boy's mom says "You know he was drunk, right?"

How do you get a clown off a swing? Get a giant scorpion to rape him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...