What did the Asian say after he had a nightmare? Nothing his nightmare was actually reality and a dishwasher fell on him and killed him.

Why did Lou Gehrig die from? ALS

Ask me if I am a truck. Are you a truck? No.

Knock, Knock. Who's There? To get to the other side.

So a duck walks into a pharmacy and says "i need some ointment for my beak, its rather chapped." and the Pharmacist said "Sorry we don't have anything for ducks here."

How do you make a girl happy then sad within 5 seconds? Buy her a pony and then shoot it

What's worse...a thousand dead babies in one joke...or one dead baby in a thousand jokes?

What's better than winning the special olympics? Not being retarded.

hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

there was a tomatoes and it blew up and died. Why did it blow up? The Nazi's needed ketchup for there Jew Burgers

How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

what does a jew want most for hanukkah? presents

So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car.

What is similar between the Holocaust and soccer? They both suck.

a little boy told his friend he failed a test.. the friend replied that his parents r goin to kill him... to save himself the suffering ...the boy hung himself in his closet

Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? They are delicious.

How do you get rid of a boomerang? There are many potential options for getting rid of your boomerang. You can choose to pass it on to somebody as a gift, make a profit through thrift stores or online auctions or perhaps sell it in a newspaper. Alternatively you may wish to simply dispose of it. The average reading speed of an American adult is 300 words per minute. This was exactly 100 words. This means that it took approximately 20 seconds to read it. This means that approximately 4 people died of cancer world wide while you read this.

Q: Why did the baby cross the road? A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

How many elephants can you fit in a mini? None. There are no affordable cars large enough to fit a fully grown elephant.

what did the homeless man get for christmas? nothing.

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

...Jack Vale

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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