Wanna hear a joke about a germ? Sorry I don't want to spread it! -LEts Go Mets!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I like boys!!!!! CC

thumb_up thumb_down +37

I need to start studying.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's stupid a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? a pool table

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why Didn't LeBron James go to College? He was really good and decided to go to the NBA straight out of High School.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A bartender walks into a bar. He serves alcohol for a living.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

This man was known to beat his wife alot, To the car door to open it for her...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why couldnt the jew play basketball? He was handicapp

thumb_up thumb_down -2

,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I came across a woman on the ground and i said what happend and she said... "i tripped"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Bill: ask me if i am three ducks in a man suit Jim: are you three ducks in a man suit? Bill: yes

thumb_up thumb_down +11

3 women are eating popsicles, one is biting, one is licking, and one is sucking, which is married? The one with the wedding ring.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why was blueberry flavoured bubblegum cancelled? Because it tasted like soup.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the Po-Po do to the speeding Mexican? Gave him a ticket.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

An Italian, a Mexican, and an American are eating lunch on a bridge. The Mexican drops his taco off the side of the bridge and the Italian and American were kind enough to share some of their lunch with the Mexican making it a successful picnic. Their ethnicity was not relevent at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between a ferrari and a penis? I don't have a stash of ferraris in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what do you call a million black people on the moon? a good start

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why did they name the cat Salty? I have no idea, ask his owner

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what did the girls scream when they were being stalked? skydragon

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worse than a cow on the ceiling? - two cows on the ceiling.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops