A blonde walks into an electronic store...she buys an IPhone because someone stole her blackberry, her money, and everything she cares for. Nah, I'm just kiddin', she was murdered.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the frog fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the monkey,

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A hipster gets summoned for jury duty. The case is solved promptly and everyone goes home happy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to.

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how did the black guy get into school? he walked thru the front door.

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there once was a frog with no leggs

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What happened to the man who lost his left arm, left leg and eye in an accident? I expect he claimed insurance, assuming he was prudent enough to insure himself, or his workplace complied with legislation.

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Q: How many pandas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I don't know.

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Why wasn't the old woman sitting on the porch? Because she got raped by a big scorpian.

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Why did the cow go moo, because its a cow

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Q: If you're driving down the street in your canoe and the wheels fall of, how many pancakes does it take to shingle your dog's garage? A: 27, because bananas have no bones.

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You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely for no discernible reason as chickens are animals with poor reasoning skills.

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Dad's writes on son's Facebook wall: "Dear Son, How are you? All are fine here. We miss you a lot. Please!! TURN OFF THE COMPUTER & COME DOWN FOR DINNER!!! by darragh hamilton

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a strip club. They then realised that they are religious leaders and set an example for their respective religious communities and shouldn't be in a strip club and leave.

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What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

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Your so dumb, you didn't notice I should have used you're. Don't lie

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What did the elephant say to the other elephant? We're both elephants!

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I have 20 dollars and 27 cents. How much money do I have? 20.28$ I found a penny.

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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Q.How many dinosaur species can jump as high as a house? A.All of them, houses can't jump

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So last night I was f**king my girlfriend and I flip her over and f**k her up the ass. Later we're sitting having a cigarette when she says, "you know it was pretty presumptuous of you to think you can just flip me over and f**k me up the ass." And I said, "presumptuous!? That's a pretty big word for a 5th grader."

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Knock Knock!! Who's there? The Bailiffs, now get out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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