yo mama is so fat she has more body mass than a skinny person

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someone has been eating my cornflakes,oh well cheerios instead.

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What do communists and strawberries have in common? You can eat them.

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You want to know how I got these scars? A horrible knife throwing accident.

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Why couldn't the asian drive the car. He was underage and did not have his license yet.

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how do you make a baby float? you take your foot off its head

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roses are red violets are blue cover me im goin in

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why did bob marley die because he did also he smoked weed he was naughty!

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Why did the man yell at his wall? Because it jumped out and scared him when he walked past

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my boloney has a first name its OSCAR, my boloney has a last name its MEYER.. now bend over son while i shove my boloney in ur butt!

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How does an Asian person get overweight? By eating food with a great amount of calories and not burning then off in time.

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What was the fly doing in the soup? Nothing, the guy ordered pizza.

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What do you call a blond in a library? A girl that likes to read.

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What do you call a jew without a nose? A most likely kind and interesting anti- steriotypical person

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what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

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Why did the Iraqi airline crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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What do you get when you cross a Pigeon with a Mailbox? A Carrier Pigeon, they are extinct now.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it was dead, thus incapable of independent movement.

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Q:Do you know why Jesus would not be a good goalkeeper? A:Because he never played football

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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You know what happens when you assume right? Well, you make an educated guess based on prior knowledge to the circumstance at hand.

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“Before I know it, he’s got both of my hands in his viselike grip above my head, and he’s pinning me to the wall using his lips … His other hand grabs my hair and yanks down, bringing my face up, and his lips are on mine … My tongue tentatively strokes his and joins his in a slow, erotic dance … His erection is against my belly.”

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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