What is lazy? My balls. All they do is hang.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He had no legs

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How would you rule?

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What kind of shots I'd John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

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What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

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Why is this room orange? Because I painted it orange. You didn't paint it; my mom painted it.

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Why was the black kid in the AP Calculus classroom? Because he was a very driven student, who studied hard so that he could attend a good University and build a good life for himself and his family.

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An apple a day keeps a check next to the "I ate an apple today" box on my "what I did today" daily checklist.

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Why does a trash can smell bad? Because there's trash in it.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 was a registered 6 offender

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... Unless your colour blind.

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Q: If you're driving down the street in your canoe and the wheels fall of, how many pancakes does it take to shingle your dog's garage? A: 27, because bananas have no bones.

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You idiot thats 9 letters

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and stink.

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So a dog walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Quickly, someone give me the number for animal control."

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Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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Man 1: youre going to die Man 2: why? Man 1: everyone dies

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An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

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Why can't Jimmy talk? He's dead.

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What do a fish and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm a dog

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A depressed horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "Millions of years of natural selection." The horse then tries to drink away his sorrows, but the alcohol is only a temporary release from the pain he's feeling. He kills himself the next day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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