My dog has no nose." "How does it smell?" "Potato"

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A mosquito flies into a bar and orders a bloody mary, the bartender then takes out a swatter and kills the pest. Noticing the event, the patrons cheer and continued drinking their frothy beverage. Minutes later, the phone rings and the bartender answers the phone. "Hello?" "Hi, I'm looking for a friend of mine, is he there?" "Let me check, by the way, what's his name?" "Jack Hoff" "One sec. HEY FELLAS(yelling over the noisy bar), IS THERE A JACK HOFF HERE? I NEED A JACK HOFF! ANYONE?" Mr. Hoff, sitting at the bar hears this and asks, "who is it?" "He said he's a friend of yours!" "Which one?" " He said his name's Dick Stroker and he needs help on something hardhe'll meet you around back." "Oh ok, thanks."

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What was the last thing that went through the WTC jumper's head? His ankles.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Why didn't the blond resolved the Cold War? Once the blond's socio-economic background was really poor, she didn't have enough education to solve such geopolitical conflict, envolving imperialism, international influence, militar power and scientifical power, still without armed conflicts, as the respective leaders of both United States of America and United Soviet Socialist Republics knew a armed conflict would cost too much lifes, and even in a totally utilitarian society, the benefits of the war to both countries wouldn't be enough to justify the death of thousands. Therefore, its concluded that a meedle class person wouldn't be enough capable to be the charged to solve this kind of tenssion between States, and it would be really silly if someone happened to encharge the blond in issue.

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How to open an orange? You don't you peal it

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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What did the man do when it was raining pineapples? He got a chainsaw and went on a killing spree against his neighbors family.

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What happens when a man and a woman really love each other?... - They'll most likely go on a date and enjoy themselves.

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whats brown and smells like poop? poop.

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A Muslim walks into a Bar, He buys everyone a round of drinks and enjoys the rest of his night

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LOL -LOL GUY

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Knock Knock Who's there? Me, wondering why your not naked.

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What's funny about 9/11? All of it.

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sometimes when im bored i dress in white pour water on the ground and roll around in it and pretend im a papertowel

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Why did the buetiful woman marry the homeless man? True love

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Nicholas Cage

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What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

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A mexican and a black person are in the back of a car. Whos driving? A bus driver.

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What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

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scenario: 12 men in bikinis throwing snowballs at each other in Africa. Question: Who ate all the world's giant pears? Answer: It was an allergy to noses!!

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What do you get when you cross a Chinese man with a dog? A happy Chinese man and a pile of dog bones.

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Why did the bride get a refrigerator for her wedding? Because it is a very nice present

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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