Why did the sailor fall off the boat? Because vampires arent real.

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my name is CC im a little bit retarted but i only drink my own urin and sometimes i like to have a big dinner with poop urin and my friends urin CC for life!!!

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What did the sign say? It said slow down

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Why are you reading anti-jokes? ... why are you looking at me like that? I asked you a question, idiot.

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Boy: If you didn't have feet, would you wear socks? Girl: No. Boy: Then why do you wear a bra?

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who steals more than a black person?, a pirate.

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two muffins were in an oven, one muffin said to the other, " ohmygod! its so hot in here!" the other muffin said,"AHHHHHH!!!! its a talking muffin!!"

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Scene:restraunt Me:can I have a coke please? Waiter:sorry we don't have any, is Pepsi ok? Me:is monopoly money ok?

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 was a pussy.

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outside your comfort zone

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A penis walks into a bar..

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If you are riding a horse, how many watermelons does it take to kill a giraffe? Platypus.

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A black, a muslim, and a communist walk into a bar, the bartender says "what will it be Mr. President?

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Two men walked into a bar, the third followed close behind.

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welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

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Q- Why was Dan mourning the death of his wife? A- He wasn't he was mourning the death of his daughter who was killed in the same car crash as her mother.

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because he was insecure in his relationship with his soon to be wife.

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What does a ghost get when he watches pornography? A boner

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I wouldn't consider the Titanic sinking to be a disaster, ????It is better down where it is wetter under the sea! ????.

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Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

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how do you get a blonde one-handed woman out a tree? wave

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Women

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What's worse than find ten babies in a trash can? Find a baby in ten trash cans.

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What did the astronaut say at AA? Alcohol is ruining my life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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