What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

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Two construction workers are working on the final floor of what will soon be the worlds tallest building. The first turns to the other and says: "Hey tom can you throw me a three quarters hex wrench? i think my set is metric." the second guy turns around and says: "yea, here you go."

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Get off my porch.

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Why did the bear stick his head in the honey comb? He wanted honey.

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WHat is the one thing an alcoholic needs everyday? Rehab.

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney? One is President, the other is not.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? This isn't a car

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Hey, I just met you... No, I'm your brother. You've known me for 30 years. You must have memory loss.

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What do you get when you mix red and blue? Gang violence.

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Why did the rose look so brown? Because it was dead

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A mother with a bum hip and her son go to walk up a set of stairs in the mall. The floor was slippery because the janitor just mopped the floor. They decide to take the elevator instead.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Why didn't the blonde make it in a gun circle? The blonde yelled "Fire"

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Why did the frog cross the street? To make babies

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an irishman an american and a jihadist get a plane were did they go right through my house

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Again, what is it called when you are safely inside at winter your power is out, but the streets are full of people as the weather gets really bad and people start bouncing around? Blizzard Entertainment. What is it called when a robot lets out gas? Electronic fArts.

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So a man walks into a hospital to see his dying wife..... walks into her room falls over and then dies

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? People leading healthy, active lives physically and socially.

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Pigs have the emotional capacity of a five year old think about that next time you have to dissect one in biology

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How do you kill a baby? You take a gun and shoot it.

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there was once a jew

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A rhinoceros walks into a bar. As it felt threatened by the presence of many humans, the rhino attacks and kills several people with the big horn on its nose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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