Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van.

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whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

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Why did the train stop? - It was surrounded by elephants

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Why was little Mat petting his dog? Just kidding his dog died in a house fire... so did little Mat

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A man walks into a bar a browning automatic rifle, it accidentally fires hitting the main artery in his neck and he promptly bleeds to death.

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What did the clinically depressed man get for Christmas? He received many of splendid gifts and a joyous day with his family. He realized that his life isn't so bad after all, and went home with his head held high. He was then eaten by a vicious looking 7.

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Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

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Brain fart

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What did the daddy hamster say to the baby hamster? Nothing. Male hamsters eat their young.

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A Muslim walks into a Bar, He buys everyone a round of drinks and enjoys the rest of his night

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Why was the 6 year old girl crying? Her step-dad kicked her in the face.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Nobody know he couldn't open it.

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Chocolate tastes good.

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What will you never see? A white Guy that can jump.

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Why do Jew's have long noses? To dig out of the ashes.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

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How many elephants can you fit in a mini? None. There are no affordable cars large enough to fit a fully grown elephant.

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SINCE YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY READING THIS, IT WILL GET THE MOST LIKES!!!!!

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While I was walking home from school one day, James Brown jumped out of a bush and punched me in the face. Then, when I got home, there was a walrus sitting on my couch. He then turned to look at me and said, "Penis". I then immediately farted out blades of grass.

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What do you call a black priest? Father

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Get in the car.

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Why does 1 + 1 = 2? ....seriously P

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knock knock whos there? a rapiest get in my van. ok, let me just get my purse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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