Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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....ZZzzzzz.....ZZzzzzz.....

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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sometimes i take my duck a shower, i always use cold water because if i use hot water it will think im cooking it.

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Why didn't andrea clean the dishes? She had no hands

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What's good about having alzheimers? You meet new people every day!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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how do you get expelled? Rape a special ed kid.

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whats the difference between a door knob? a milk carton, because people have legs so they can walk !!!!!

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What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

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who is gay and sits next to me in my architecture class? James and austin!!!!

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What did the chicken say to the cow? Cluck cluck Knock knock Who's there Chicken Chicken who? Chicken go cluck cluck, cow go moo Piggie go oink oink, how 'bout you?

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Why i didn't bought the "Anti Joke The Book".. Because the joke in it aren't funny..

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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What's worse than finding a small cockroach in your drink? Finding a medium sized cockroach in your drink. What's worse than finding a medium sized cockroach in your drink? Genocide. What's worse than genocide? Finding a large sized cockroach in your drink.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? no eyed dear what do you call a dear with no head? dead!

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Why couldn't the grandma remember what she did last night? Because she has Alzeihmers and grandmas don't do anything.

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what's worse than getting cancer.........nothing cancer is a pretty bad thing

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How do you cure aids? Jonathon siezed to care as he proceeded to cry when he was told his lemons were over the weight of what he'd expected

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what do u call a apple a apple

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A lion, a tiger, and a bear walk down the side of the road. This is what I observed last week in a suburb of Columbus, Ohio.

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Why did the Egyptian woman not manage to work the washing machine? The instructions were in English.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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