I used to love Christmas Until Santa woke me up and told me my dad didn't exist....

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what is black, white, and red all over? A bloody panda

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Brock is a massive b00b who likes da siiiiiii

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What did the fish say after he

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YOU IS DUM

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If Jimmy had 5 apples and his brother had 5 apples then their father would have been married to their mother before they were born.

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

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Whats green and smells like grass? Grass scented air freshener, in a green colored can.

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What do you call 2 tigers, a zebra, and a walrus? A small zoo full of 4 animals

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My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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Why do black people like fried chicken? There's cocaine inside.

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How Long is a Chinese man.

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What's worse than 10 babies in a trashcan? One baby in 10 trashcans.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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There once was a man from Bangkok, who hated limericks.

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What will happen if your heart skips 10 beats? Nothing. You're dead.

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An overweight person falls down the stairs.. They had to be taken to A&E as they suffered very serious injuries.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What does two plus two equal? 4

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Why couldn't a little kid turn around in a hall? He has a spear in his back.

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Q: What did the schizophrenic man say to his father? A: "Every time grandmother's urn shrieks, this pornography turns to black ink."

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What did Osama bin Laden say to the Navy SEALS? Nothing. There was insufficient time to hold a conversation before they shot him in the face.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? UPS.

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knock knock Come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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