If life gives you melons.. You're just plain retarded.

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A man walks into a bar. He has a nice drink and leaves.

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Kyle grund parker coffey

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ow

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Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

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How can a black man burn his pop-tarts? If he leaves them in the toaster for too long.

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So a duck walks into a pharmacy and says "i need some ointment for my beak, its rather chapped." and the Pharmacist said "Sorry we don't have anything for ducks here."

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How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? one is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and one is a watermelon

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Why did the chicken cross the road Who the f*** let out the chicken

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What did the sleepy man say to his wife? I'm sleepy.

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What's brown and smells like shit? The rapidly decaying bodies of several dead chipmunks.

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Bee1:Boo Bee2:Boo Look i found 2 boobies:)

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Why did the bus driver lose his family in a car accident? Bc the little boy was seeking revenge

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

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Why was John sad? His parents were murdered.

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what do u say when u meet somebody new hello

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Why did Jimmy go to the doctor? He had just been hit by a semi truck and his legs were severed. He died later that night.

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What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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