Brians mother always told him to reach for the stars. He died the next morning.

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Jaden McMichael

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Q. How did the man with no legs get to places? A. He didn't, he died at his house alone

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What's the best anti-pest control of all time???? The Holocaust.

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A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

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what do you say when you see a winner weaner

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How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

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What did the cripple wish for when he saw the shooting star? A toothbrush.

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What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, D1ck in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

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How do you know if your friend is dead? You shoot him in the face!

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How Long Is A Chinaman's Name

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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when your out of toilet paper what do you do? get more

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a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

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what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

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If Alex Maitland reads this he is gay

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whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

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A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

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Q: What's the difference between a mountain goat and a pitching wedge? A: A lot.

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a Fridge.

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Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

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Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? They do, they just choose not to compete certain years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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