Q: How does a robber get into your house? A: Through a door.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to see the CN tower. He was then hit by a fridge dropped by people running tests on the top floor.

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How do you give a cold sore to catnip? Because he needed lemon juice

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What did the ketchup say to the mustard? Nothing they're just condiments.

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A blonde walks into a store and tells the clerk "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes.". The blonde comes in the shop the next day with a brown wig on and says "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes". The blonde asks how he knew she was a blonde. The clerk replies, "I can see flyaway strands of your hair from the top of your wig and the synthetic hair material of the wig is not convincing.

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What causes floods? Too much water.

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If the opposite of Pro is Con, whats the opposite of progress?

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How do 5 gay teenagers walk? In 'One Direction"

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What's funnier than throwing a baby off a bridge? Everything, if you think that's funny, you're a terrible person.

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Why did the girl miss her date? She got killed.

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A man walks into a chiropractor. The chiropractor asked whats wrong with you? The man replies My boner has scoliosis.

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon..... so he can eat it.

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Why was the jewish boy sad? He had no friends.

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Johnny got hit by a bomb. Where is he now? Everywhere. Knock knock. (Who's there?) Not Johnny

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

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Whats worst than getting raped by an old man? -Nothing, getting raped is probably the worst thing to happen to you.

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1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

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Q: What happened to the fat man on the roller coaster A: The roller coaster went slightly faster due to the laws of gravity

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, and mute child get for his birthday? Nothing, his parents hate him.

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there are three types of people in this world, those who can't count, and those who can. STFU, you corny loser

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops