what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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Nothing exceedingly odd happened at a bar

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Roses are red Violets are blue im a retard dictionary

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Whats the difference between a woman and a fridge? A fridge doesn't fart when you take your meat out!

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What do you call a horse with bread on its ears? Boris, because that's his name.

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man: hey whats that in the corner? Bartender: thatssteve his wife left him and he is trying to drown his saddness is addiction.

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What's big, black and hard to swallow? A bowling ball.

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Why was Joseph Kony at a primary school ? It was 3 o'clock and his children had just finished a long hard day learning to read and right and it was his turn to pick them up after him and misses Kony developed a schedule one late night after the odd glass of wine or two.

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Guess what? I like trains.

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How do you tickle a tree? you dont you are a schizo stop kicking leaves

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How do you kill somebody instantly? Make them smell Smelly mcD's socks.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

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Me and my friend wanted to burn some calories so we found a fat kid and lit him on fire!

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How did the fat man avoid getting dehydrated? Fat men don't excersise and therefore cannot become dehydrated.

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Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

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Why did the jew kill himself? He heard a raciest joke and went into a period of depresion causing him to lose all will to live.

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Whats pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff.

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...youre ruining its natural diet. it might die.

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a murderer sees a young child left alone at a park... he promptly finds the childs mother and returns her to her home.

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how many jews can you fit in a buick? six if you squeeze 4 in the back

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Cheese that isn't yours

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A sixty Year old man walks into a bank to rob it. He tells the bank teller, "Take the money and put it into a bag!" The teller told him, "Sir I don't have a bag." So the old man turns around and walks out.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Silence. Silence who? No, I meant there was silence, I didn't really say anything. Oh, OK. But seriously, who's there?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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