I hate chocolate. I hate it so much. It sickens me. The only thing I hate more than chocolate is people that like chocolate. I hate them even more. Do you know what happened to the last person I met that liked chocolate? NOTHING

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs? Names

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What did the retard say to the other retard.. hey timmy how was work?

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Lets just say that we are beyond the stage where I am "just" trying, by the way, you might want to search that last comment for double negatives. Or you know NOT NOT. Do not take my word for it, but if I am not wrong, the bacteria (yogurt) leaves afterwards, so you are eating milk that has been eaten and then.. You know... A common "side effect" of hypnosis, is that when it is used, the one hypnotized (both in this case) end up feeling a "strange" case of closeness, stronger bonds, friendship etc, scientists wonder why... ITS LIKE DUH! WE BOTH REVEAL DEEP SECRETS TO EACH OTHER! THINGS WE DO NOT EVEN USUALLY TELL OURSELVES! Its a literal no brainer, scientits can go fuck themselves, because as far as I know, thats the only fuck they ever get.

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What do you get when you cross a fan with a child? A mess that you now have to clean up.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black...

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Whats the difference between a boy scout and a Jew? Boyscouts come back from camp.

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why is Justin Berber gay? hes not thats rust a myth

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for her birthday? A S.T.D

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What's hotter than a hot girl? The sun.

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Why was the bear rushing home after work? Because he was late for dinner.

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Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

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What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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-Knock, knock! -Who is it? -Me

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What did the blackman say to the whiteman???? Nothing! They both commintted suicide

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What's black,white, and red all over? Nothing, because if it is completely covered in red then it can only be red.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A typical out-door activity.

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Why did the bus driver tell the black man to get to the back of the bus? Because all the seats up front were full and its dangerous to stand in a moving vehicle

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If Jonny has 300 pies and eats 299 pies what is left for Jonny? DIABETES

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What's older than history? Pre-history.

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Ellen: Knock knock Steve: Who's there? Ellen: Banana Steve: Banana who? Ellen is offline and can't receive messages right now.

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Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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