What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

Why did the weird, creepy old man in the beat up van give ice cream to the little girl? Because his company went bankrupt and as part of a court order, he was thereby forced to give away the remaining contents of his inventory to those who seeked it.

Why does Michael J Fox have such good handwriting? Through years of hardwork, perseverance, and rehabilitation.

What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

Q: What's worse than dropping your phone in water? A: Throwing water at your phone.

Yo mama's so white that she has to use lots of sunscreen to prevent from getting sunburned.

What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

You're flying over a lake in your canoe and the wheels fall off. How many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? None! because ice-Cream doesn't have legs!

"Knock knock," said the guy about to deliver a knock knock joke.

Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Repeated jokes.

Are you well? No, I'm not a well, I'm a person.

Who was sorry when the fat kid fell over last year? The whole of Japan.

Your momma's so fat: She fears a lower life expectancy and consequently not seeing her grandchildren grow up.

What is worse-losing your phone or failing school? Apartheid

Everybody has a penis! EVERY BODY! WHY can't feminists admit this obvious anatomical fact? Gahhhh!

LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

What do you call a deaf black man? Well, if you did not already know his name, you would first have to contact a member of his family, or a friend, and ask them, as even if you were able to communicate the question of 'what is your name?' to the man, it is well known that the speech of deaf people is nowhere near as clear as that of people who are able to hear.

What's the same between grapes and squirrels? They're both purple, except for the squirrel.

Do the roar!

How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? No amount of them could ever figure it out. They all tremble with fear in the dark.

How do you confuse a gay person? How? 7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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