What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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LOL -LOL GUY

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As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

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why can't hellen keller eat a pizza? because she is dead.

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Why didnt the boy eat his ice cream? Because he is dairy intolerant

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Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

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This Irishman walked into a pub and then drank hard liquor for the next 3 hours.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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Your Momma is so fat that she will most like lose a leg to diabetes which is totally preventable if she eats a well balanced diet. I hope she loses weight. Say hi to her from me please.

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like my drawing of a white person?

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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What happened to the little kid sitting next to a fat kid ? The little kid got DEVOURED

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender who recently got out of federal prison after a 20 year sentence.

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These are some questions you should never ask on a first date: When you wipe do you throw your toilet tissue in the toilet or on a trash can? Do you smell your hands after you wipe? Do you you ever look down when you take a dump and see it come out? Have you ever picked your butt and then picked your nose with the same finger?

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Why did Polly fall off her roof? Because her dad pushed her.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Madeline McCan

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

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Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Poems don't have to rhyme... Refrigerator

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What three letters alter boys into men and girls into women? The letter containing their bank card, the letter containing their national insurance card and the letter accepting them into a job or higher education placement.

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You can lead a horse to water, and you can pick your friends, but you can't sneeze with your eyes open.

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How many fingers do most people have? 10

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what do you call a black woman pregnant with twins? A woman who has a loving husband who she wanted to have children with so when they had sex, 2 of his sperm fertilized the egg so now she gets to raise two children which she is looking forward to, but she also knows it will be alot of work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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