Roses are red. Violets are red. Tulips are red. My garden is on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q. If your rowing a canoe up a tree, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? A. None because snakes don't have armpits.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

So a magician was droving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie roll pop? It would have to take a reasonable amount of licks for enough enzymes in the saliva to breakdown the hard candy part.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What does chuck norris do at 4 o clock in the morning ? Sleep

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats orange and has stripes? - a tiger

thumb_up thumb_down -18

tight butthole 4 lyfe.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse then 10 babies nailed to 10 trees? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

thumb_up thumb_down -45

why did the Japanese father cry? because when america bombed japan in wwll it happened to kill the rest of his family

thumb_up thumb_down +12

knock knock who's there? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I know where you live. No seriously im looking at you through your window. 80% of you just checked. 90% of you didnt realize i just ended that statement with a question mark. 100% of you just checked gotcha

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what type of cat has green feathers? a green-feathered cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Rose: Mummy, why did you name me Rose? Mother: Because a rose fell on your head when you were a baby Daisy: Mummy, why did you name me Daisy? Mother: Because a daisy fell on you when you were a baby Fridge: durr hurr Mother: Shut up, Fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How you know when dislextic

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the prostitute survive the gunshot? She was wearing a bulletproff vest.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

That moment when the best part of your life is when you get 50 friends on Facebook....

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was the little boy speechless? His best friend was just run over by a plow truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There was a baby, and it wouldnt stop crying. So the mom shook it and shook it. Then it stopped crying.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Is it a sin to love math? Cos I don't. I'm radical about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse than listening to Justin Beiber? Getting hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops