- Anti Joke

What would you call Shaquille O'Neal if he was on the moon? Shaquille O'Neal, or any nickname you may have for him.

What did the doctor say to his patient with cancer? "You have cancer...".

Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Hey, speaking of anti jokes, there is much in the bible that facinates me, but that I find to be... Very... Ilogical, but then again I know a lot about the spiritual to open the the possibility to the (maybe) fact that the answers lie in the spiritual realm or you know whatever you prefer to call it. But you know, God has existed for eternities eternal etc, forever, and only some few thousand years ago he decided to let there be light? Kinda makes sense to why he was such a hardass in the first testament, I mean wow it must have been depressive for eternal eternities until he created light huh? Maybe he slept as many other Gods tend to do in a theological perspective. The other that baffles me completely: God has an enemy known as Sin, that is so powerful that he must sacrifice his own son in order to keep it away? I mean has Sin ever sacrificed anything to good? In that way they would be opposites and not God sarcificing stuff as humans sacrificed stuff animals (and almost a son Iscaac right? Because you know God and Satan where kinda chummy and enjoyed betting and good sport... My viewpoint at least) And Now I just repeat myself, but if Light was Gods first invention, who created voice? Was it part of his being? Why was light not part of his being? Is light not the path to God? "The Light"? Its horsehead Network and I do not expect much of this site sincerely, but if you find the time, the care, the love and Guidance of God provides (yeah I am appealing to your Good Christian side) then please find it in your Jesus filled heart to leave me what you think is missing or perhaps I do not understand at all. And if I ever become a Christian again, ill tell God and Jesus that you where the person that got me there, put in a good word for eternal life huh? Get you and maybe even your mother and father that made you that kind with Gods guidance a nice V.I.P place up there huh? If there is a God out there, he loves all the same yeah, but he keeps favorites, I mean those that suffer eternally in hell... I don't like questioning what I do not understand to a certain tangible degree, but does he do this with the same love he treats those that go to heaven?

There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. I shot him in the head. With a bullet made of lead. And now he's dead. No more shoe ingestion

why does god like Justin Bieber? He can't god doesn't like the devil.

Why couldn't the cow move? It had Cystic Fibrosis.

Why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

whats white and pointless? chalk.

how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

sometimes i wonder why is the frisbee getting bigger? then it hits me

Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

Why should children always be nice? Because the evil christmas demon KRAMPUS will rip their ears off, put them in a bag and beat them with a stick!

A man walks around a bar.

How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

why did the little boy drop his icecream? he was hit by a train

A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

A Priest and A Rabbi Walk Into The Bar. Ouch.

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

3 blonds walk into a bar ouch

So a black and mexican go to the foodstore to get foodstamps.the end

nock nock who's there? bob bob who? bob franklin let me in 'cause i'm freezing!

What did the cancer patient say after the little boy told him a funny joke? I'm dying

Yo momma is so stupid, she is in rehab and will unlikely get over her mental illness leading to her soon and fatal death.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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