What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen. You are going to go to jail.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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How do you milk a cow? Pull on its' utters.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

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What nickname do you give Harrison Kinney if he is good at remixing music? Harrison "Remix" Kinney

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BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

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What's big and looks like a mushroom? A Mushroom.

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Why did the bones cross the road? They didn't, the dogs ate them.

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*Hands women baby* Women: Hes so beatiful! I'm going to love him forever! Doctor: Its not yours, yours died.

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Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

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What do you call a fish with one eye? A fish

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Why did little Sally throw a stick of butter out the window? Sally has a burning hatred for dairy products.

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If someone throws a fridge at the boy then they must be exceptionally strong because fridges weigh more than the average human can lift therefor he has a good future ahead of him but will have to live with the fact that he hurt a small child

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Noah is Smart.

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

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Whats green and smells like ass? My ass. I lied about the green..

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Theres 3 guys walking and the see a genie. He says hell grant 3 wishes. The first guy asked for sandals. The genie said"I can do that" and he got sandals. The second guy asked for rock hard abs.The genie said,"sure thing".When he looked down, he saw that he had rock hard abs. The third guy asked for a pair of pants."ok" Said the genie. And then he got a pair of pants.

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? BECAUSE SHE WAS A BITCH!

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Yo momma's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror she decided to get plastic surgery.

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What did the Muslim say to the American? Hi

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your friend, George. Oh hi George, I'll be there in a sec.

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What do you call a kid with no arms annd legs? Names

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Why did the black man jump off of a bridge? -He was in depression and comitted suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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