What would happen if you insulted Chuck Norris' mother? Considering you did it on a messageboard that only unemployed people with no social lives use, nothing.

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights.

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Knock, knock. *answers door*

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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Why couldn't the black guy enter the room? He was too large to fit through the doorway therefore he turned around and left

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he was dead

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A blue whale walks into a bar. The bartender says "What can I get for you?" The blue whale says "EEEEEEYYYYYYYOOOOHHHHHMMMMMMM"

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In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

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Kitana vs Shao Kahn. Kitana: HIAHIAHIAHIA...etc Kahn: You weak pathetic whor... OARGH! Kahn: FINISH ME!!! Kitana: Dad? Again? Okay the last time then... Kahn: I just addopted you you FUC... Oargh Oargh Oargh Oargh Oargh... OOF!! OFF!! OFF!! OFF! Kitana: *slurp okay no more for you I am uh... full, seriously, Ill explode or some other Fatality... Woody Allenality... Kahn: Kontinue? (press start to kontinue free play mode)

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why is kool-aid so sweet? Because it contains sugar

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Why did the serial killer need the knife? He needed to butter his bread

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm going to murder you Did you look behind you?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What chicken?

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This is not a joke or is it

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Why did the little girl drop her ball? Because she was done playing with it.

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What did the man say to his friend when he beat him in a game of billiards? Good Game.

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I never drink liquor alone... except for when I'm alone.

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A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

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Two bananas are walking down the street. One says, "Nice weather we're having, isn't it?" The other banana says, "Wait a minute, fruit can't talk." The second banana turns into a dove and promptly flies away.

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What is black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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why couldnt jimmys feet touch the ground? he was hanging.

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Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A.One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other's a human.

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What did the mushroom jock say to the mushroom nerd? your and ugly wimpy mushroom....and i am on steroids

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what has two legs and bleeds? half a dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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