What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you stop a vehicle moving at high speeds? Apply the brakes in a reasonable fashion.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you get when you cross a bulldog with a shitshu? a puppy.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I am in love with pizza. It was a friday night and i was hanging around with my so called friends 'banana-rama' 'pearman' and 'peaches' (keep in mind these are all fruit). I ordered a pizza from Poker Pizza and it came an hour later i brung it to my kitchen and i opened the box. It was lovely. I eat it, i soon realized that I had eat my one true love and decided to order another pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's the difference between 6 and 7? 1.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide? you would too if your name was uuhuhuhduhh

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the woman cross the road? Why the hell is she out of the kitchen!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why is John gay? Because he enjoys the penis

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Your mother is so fat, she tried to suicide because she was unhappy with her weight. She tried a diet and it didn't work; she suffers from depression and went to see a doctor about her weight. Life is getting worse for your mother and she is starting to develop diabetes. Your relatives and cousins are going to the hospital to visit her sometime this week; the doctor says she only has about a week left before she passes away.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q. How many puns does it take to make a cup of tea? A. None. A pun is a grammatical construct and as such is incapable of combining the ingredients necessary to generate a hot drink which has been popular for hundreds of years.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: Why'd the guy have to fart? A: There was a buildup of methane gas in his colon.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a taxidermist and an astronomer ? They have a different job.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape his burning car wreck.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, And I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

The motto of those who live in the Bible Belt; "The Bible Belt: Where being obese is 'Genetic' but being homosexual is a 'lifestyle choice'."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why didn't Helen Keller have headphones? Because they weren't invented

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Your mom is so fat That the salesman advised her not to buy the tight dress

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What is the difference between a black person and a bicycle? You can sell a bicycle legally.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What has 14 eyes, 14 legs, 70 toes and 7 noses... 7 people.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what did the Nazi do when his Jewish rabbit died? silly Nazi rabbits don't have religion

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What does a witch put food in? A lunchbox

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops