Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? It was taped to the other monkey

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Most of men think: the bigger dick they have, the more pleasure they can give to woman. Most of women don't thinks so, becouse they haven't got a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than getting raped by a duck? Getting raped by two ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many of my Dad's "fishing buddies" have gone down to the basement for a "meeting", but never returned? 37 so far. I'm concerned. I seriously have never seen my dad fish. Pretty sure he doesn't own a fishing pole.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the black man driving a plane? because he was a pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Your mother is so retarded. How retarded is she? Very retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

The first train go fowards at 250 mph, and the second train takes a left, how many pancakes are on my rooftop? - The answer is purple because aliens don't dribk coffee

thumb_up thumb_down

69

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did i say to the stupid person? Your Stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Is your refrigerator running? Go fuck yourself

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't the black man finish his lunch? He wasn't hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your all fags

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

y do churches have kneelers?, cuz it puts less stain on ur knees

thumb_up thumb_down +71

How do you get a clown to stop smiling Kill him

thumb_up thumb_down +187

Roses are red, violets are blue ive got a gun so get in the van!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is black and white and cant get through revolving doors? A zebra with a spear through its head.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is green, ugly and can't empty his bowels without exerting a tremendous amount of energy? A constipated, ugly, green thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

What did the vegitarian order for brunch. VEGITARIANS DONT BELIEVE IN ICE CREAM>

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops