I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's brown and smells like shit? An oddly shaped birthmark on a dirty homeless man

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is grey and smells like sand? A Rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the boy have cable? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

one day a white guy was in detroit. it was very strange. nothing happened

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did everyone at school think that Susan was so hot? They set her on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU CARE? LET THE POOR CHICKEN IN PEACE! No, seriously he was going to his mother's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Jingle bells Batman smells WHERE IS SHE??!!?!?!?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? What chicken?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why didnt Santa give the little Girl her Pony? Santas not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did a boy drop his ice cream? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the Asian girl doing a math problem? It was her homework that her teacher assigned her class.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Who can walk on water? Not the guy in the wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

i'm hard

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? He got many things, because everyone felt bad for him. Someone even brought him into their house so he could have Christmas dinner. On Christmas Day someone gave him fifty dollars to spend on food for his family. Only thing is, he didn't have a family.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

did u hear about evan porter going out with his computer of course not because u haven't read this joke yet

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A white man and woman are married and the wife becomes pregnant. However, the wife has been having an affair with an African American man. The baby turns out to be white and so the woman was very fortunate or else the husband would have figured it out for sure.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea. That would depend on what time you are reading this. As i have no control over this, I am unable to inform you of China's current time. Perhaps you should look into a watch, world clock, or some other device capable of telling the time. That is not the Purpose of this website. However, there are numerous other places for this. God luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can, and only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops