What's brown and rhymes with poop? Dr. Dre.

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Why did the deaf man take his parrot to work? He was weird.

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what do you do when you see a black guy with half a face. call an ambulance because hes most likely in serious pain

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A. I have a really funny knock knock joke to tell you! You start. B. Knock knock A. Who's there? B. ....

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Wait a moment, I will see what I can do.

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Why did Tina's parents stop calling her? Because they died

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Who needs god when coffee is cheaper

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Whats the best way to get a woman to sleep with you? Rape her

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What's worse than requesting a three-some to your in-laws? Forgetting to suggest that they me too fragile and disabled, resulting in one of their limbs breaking.

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I once looked at a hedge that had the same colour leaves as all of the other hedges in that particular area.

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What did the book say to it's reader? What are you stupid? People who read can't hear!

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Is that your face or is your dog walking backwards.

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Why did the baby stop crying? Mommy shook him.

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Why was the blonde staring at the orange juice container? Because she was proud of her work as Chief Marketing Director of Tropicana.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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Knock Knock! we have a door bell ...ding dong. its broken.

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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Q: How do you win the tour defrance if you have one nut? A: Hard work and dedication.

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What's the difference between a paper towel and a crab cake? Ones a paper towel and ones a crab cake

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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Why couldent the boy pick up the bunny? He had severe muscular distrophy, and couldent even lift a spoon to his mouth. let alone a bunny

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Some parents named their sons: Who, What and Where. Many people were left confused as to the couple's decision, and some remarked that the sons would likely get picked on in their early school years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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