What happened when Dave tried to break the record for most marshmallows in the mouth at once? He choked and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the little boy viciously slash the orange object with a carving knife? Because it was Halloween.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Patient: Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Doctor: That's because you are. Patient: Wow, I need to lay off the mushrooms.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

But who would want to sell us out and why?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

thumb_up thumb_down -12

HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If Timmy has 2 apples and Sarah has 7 apples, what is the square root of the distance of Mars and Jupiter divided by the speed of light if X equals the value of negative infinity given the equation X(2) - E=MC/7?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Doctor, Doctor I think your gay. thats because i am

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do u call a man who sells hot dogs on the street? A Mexican

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -131

Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the black guy say after coming home from school? "I just got home from school."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock, Knock Who's there? The KKK

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you get dislikes on anti-joke.com? You can dislike your own post from several different IP addresses.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A wolf boards a plane with two dead rabbits in his mouth. The flight attendant approaches him and says, "Sir, you can only have one of those on the plane." The wolf bites her throat out.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

fallow me on twitter #ieatveloceraptorsfordinner

thumb_up thumb_down -16

25

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Knock Knock ? Whose's there ? The person you should be opening the door for The person you should be opening the door for who? Oh my god Frank open the goddamn door

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the man get from killing his own wife and children? A boner.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did my cat die? I drowned it in the bath.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you kill a domb blond? Shoot her in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is brown and gurgles? dead baby casserole

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops