Love is in the air? Wrong. Nitrogen, Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide are in the air.

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Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level? Vegeta got rid of the scouter because a monocle built for displaying a person's physical abilities in numbers is extremely farfetched and he didn't want to be a part of a super race of supreme beings that still relied on such ridiculous antics

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What did Mr. Sandman do whrn the boy asked for one too many dreams, nothing because Mr. Sandman was the boys bitch.

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When life gives you lemons, Commit felonies

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Q: why do the Toronto maple leafs suck? A: they dont they r in seventh place biotch!

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So this guy is waiting for a heart transplant. He dies.

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Why did the blackman fall off the bike? Because he stole it.

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What is the difference between menstrual blood and sand? You can't gargle sand.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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What happened when the wife refused to make her husband a sandwich? Since he was paralyzed from the neck down, he starved to death.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

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whats sad about 3 black people driving a Cadillac over a cliff? that was my Cadillac

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Marrage s like a card game. You start off with 2 hearts and 1 diamond. You end up wishing for a club and a spade!

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What happened to The Guy when he got pissed on he was wet

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why did the man ride the helicopter,because he was hurt horrible in a car accident.

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There are four types of people in this world. I never said I would name them all

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Your mom is so fat that when she went to the Doctors, He said she was slightly over weight

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What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The unfortunate child in a pedophile's basement who the police have yet to find.

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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What's black and white and red all over? A domestically abused bi-racial woman.

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What did a boy dying from cancer get for Christmas? The news that his cancer progressed and he would soon die. He underwent a surgery that got rid of the cancer and he was cured. He ran out of the hospital in excitement and got hit by a bus. He recovered slowly, but lived. By this time it was June and his birthday, he returned to school later that year. He got called fat and committed suicide.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm drunk, I want Taco Bell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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