Why did the man go bra shopping? Cause he is a single father and his teenage daughter needs a new one.

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint.

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What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Why did Tiarnan not ride is bike to school today. Tiarnan's dead.

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"DUDE! THERE IS A KNIFE IN YOUR LEG!" "SERIOUSLY!"

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there r three guys on a bridge. They r chinese,mexican,&american. They each have a bottle of beer. The chinese dude says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. Then the mexican says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. The american takes a drink of his and sets it down he looks at the mexican and says I have enough of these in my country and throws the mexican over the bridge.

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What's worse than finding out your friend is gay? Being gang-raped.

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What did the black guy say in the phone? Hello

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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THERE'S THE IDENTITY THIEF GET HIM!

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What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

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Chuck Norris can fly around the world in under 2 days. In an airplane.

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What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

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I LOVE MASTURBAITING ALL DAY!!!!

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running away from KFC.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not to a blind guy.

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Jesus was nailed to the cross by Roman guards... His disciples were kept behind a line of guards and they could not hear Jesus speak. They can see he was saying something, so they had to get closer to hear what he was saying. John dodged a guard and ran towards Jesus, but a guard cut his leg off with a sword... Peter ran for it and got past John but another guard cut off one of his legs... Matthew saw this opportunity to dodge both guards and jets past both John and Peter and gets to the foot of the cross... Jesus looks down at Matthew and says, "Matthew.... I can see your house from here!"

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There once was a boy. On his birthday, he got a small puppy. The puppy was white and had big eyes. Boy loved his puppy and the puppy loved the boy.

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Little Jimmy was afraid, and didn't like Santa Claus. So one Christmas Eve, he poured rat poison in Santa's milk. Little Jimmy no longer has parents.

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What do you do with a leg less dog? Take him for a drag.

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Why did the girl stop running? Because she is in a wheelchair and will never walk again

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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