Why did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers? Peppers help strengthen his immune system.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Jake: When was war of 1812? Harry: 1812 Jake: Oh.

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what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

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Billy: Why do pirates say rrrrr? Mark: I don't know, I'm not a pirate.

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? A: Depends on the size of the tub and the size of the babies.

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Chuck Norris is a normal man.

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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Why was the baby crying? Because it was just born and usually a baby cries when its born, if it dosent it usually means something is wrong, so the mother was happy to hear her baby cry.

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Q. What did the mockingbird say to the blue jay? A. I mock you by mocking you

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What did Lebron James say to Brad Pitt? "What's up, Brad?"

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how do you make abus driver cry? you rip his limbs off.

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What do a van and a pencil have in common? You can write with both, except with the van.

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Why was the bear rushing home after work? Because he was late for dinner.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Extremely vulnerable to predacious animals such as Brown Bears and Grey Herons

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Mom I am so sorry I molested you yesterday. Im not your mom! Phew, wanna go out?

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Why did Harry go to the store? He was out of food.

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Viciously beating your children with other recently beaten children.

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Im Tom and I'm an alcoholic...

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Indiana Jones was riding on it to Pankot Palace

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-What's funnier than a dog with no legs? -The movie Dumb and Dumber, in my opinion.

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why couldnt sally help timmy pick up his ice cream? she had no arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops