How do you kill a ninja? Shoot him with a sniper rifle from a building. How do you make sure he's dead? Shoot him twice.

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Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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Whats black and crying after 10 minute my wife's eyes when she left the kitchen

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whats straight as a fudge packer kyle grund

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An elephant and a rabbit sit on the forest floor and poop. The elephant asks the rabbit " doesn't it annoy you when the poop sticks to your fur?" "no" replies the rabbit. So the elephant picks up the rabbit and wipes his but with him.

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How much does a dead battery cost? Nothing, it's free of charge.

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Q: A Jew lost a penny, a nickel, and a dime. If he found the nickel and the dime, what didn't he find? A: The Mesiah

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What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

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what did one sandwich say to another sandwich? nothing, sandwiches cant talk

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The Aristocrats

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Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

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What's worst than failing your test? AIDS

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Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Incorrect. Violets are violet. DERP!

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Why is the redneck crying? They died of diabeetus.

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Why does Santa Clause say Ho Ho Ho? He has Tuberculosis.

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Roses are shit Violets are my dick Guess what I do for a living? Sex with refrigerator monkeys!

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Waking up with a snapping turtle up your butt.

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What happened to the vegetarian when he tried outdoor survival He died due to lack of energy because of his refusal to eat meat and or any living substance

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh good I thought you wouldn't make it.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A piolet you racist!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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