What do lazy asses get for Christmas? Fat

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knock knock father: who's there? young man: it's I, your son. father: ....... what? young man: dad let me in, I'm sorry! father: i don't have a son.... young man: but.... i love you... father: get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

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What did Jim say to Bob? Hi Bob.

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Q: Why did the man cross the road? A: Cause he felt like it.

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Q. What do you call a woman who, after 72 hours of hard labor, finally gives birth? A. Mom.

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A: What happened to the snake? B: It died

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can people stop posting grammatically incorrect jokes on here. Half of the sentences do not make sense.

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What do you call it when a homosexual from spain is forced to have sex with a 400 pound black man? Rape

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Yo Mama is so ugly she wears a mask on halloween

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What do you get when you cross a duck and a pig? A media circus that focuses on the morals and ethics of genetic engineering.

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Yo mama is so fat she could be a plus size model because she's big and hot.

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Yo mama so stupid that when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead

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a man pulled up to a girl in a white van with tinted windows. he told the girl he had candy inside. she got in the van. he then proceeded to rape becasue he was a rapist and that is the lifestyle he choose to have.

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How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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A guy went to a girl asked if she wanted to have sex with him. She said yes and they promptly had sex.

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what did the man say to his cat? sex. -teagan doherty

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue Wait Arent Violets purple?

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You're always working, why don't you spend some time with your daughter? be a good father. But i already am. We're sleeping together while you work every night.

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what is worse than finding a dead worm in an apple? Obama being elected a second time

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting black lady. wha....... ehmmm hmmmm!

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you came 'cause GameGrumps Fuck you.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave Smith. Oh, hey Dave. Come in.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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