you know what hurts.... PAIN

Why did the sperm swim back? cos he realised that he was in someones anus!

What's black and white and red all over? A bleeding penguin.

How do you make an egg laugh? You can't. Eggs are inanimate objects which are incapable of emotion, thus laughter.

Why did the man throw the baby at the brick wall? I don't know, but that is a tragic incident and I will now go mourn.

The Minnesota Vikings won a game.

How do you make a Cowboy cry? You kill his family.

How do you kill a 6'5 black man in a dark alley? Stab him 3 times in the appendix with a 12 inch blade.

What's the square root of everything. F**K LOGIC

Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

Do you know why this joke isn't funny. It's punchline is bad.

What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

Vagina.

what red black and white al over? a t.v I was kidding about the red part

How many dead babies can you fit in my car? 37 1/2

Why did the chicken cross the road? ..... 7

whats brown and sticky? A stick

wat did the farmer say to little lucy? I'm about to rape u, don't scream

What's green and stands in a corner? A naughty frog.

What does a grandmas vagina taste like? Depends.

I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac. Unless they were having sex with my corpse.

Q. What is the answer to life? A. 34

What's blue and pink and sweet? Cotton candy.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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