What's funnier than shooting a moose? The realization that the moose was Sarah Jessica Parker...

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Why does it take more than one blond to replace a light bulb? Because one had no arms, thus requiring the help of another person. It just so happened that that other person was a blond.

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What do you get when you skin a potato? A screaming kid with autism and no skin.

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Multiple complications including broken bones, a fractured skull, liver disease, and the fact that all his family had been gassed by the Nazis.

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I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

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Why did the man put his money in the freezer? Perhaps he didn't believe in banks.

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Wanna hear my impersonation of a homosexual man? I am attracted to men.

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I regret everything.....

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What did the wannabe mother get for Christmas A miscarriage.

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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What is one thing you can't buy at the store? Toast

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My brother found a worm in his apple. I dared him to eat it, so he did. When he tried to swallow, the mashed up worm congealed in his throat, killing him. Later, I found out that the worm had poisonous rectum fluids. I was given the Nobel Peace prize.

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Do you knpow why Michael Jackson is not dead? Dumbass, he IS dead...

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It was hit by an oncoming motorist in a busy intersection.

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Call or text this number and say whatever 863-670-1547 or you can mail things to his house 252 village crest court lakeland florida 33809

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My Japanese girlfriend just broke up with me. It's okay, there's more of them in the sea.

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Lightening never strikes the same place twice. But it killed both my parents.

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Yo Momma's so old... She has lived a great life and you should be very proud of her even though she is slowly dying of a degenerative disease.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Did you hear the one about the priest, the rabbi, the astronaut, the olympic diver, the mcdonald's employee, and the web designer? Neither did I...

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Your mother is so fat that her body takes up more space than the average woman.

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What did Steven Hawking say to God after he died? Nothing. He can't talk.

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Mel Gibson is awoken by the ringing of his telephone he proceeds to have a nice conversation with his wife.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Orange! -door opens- You fucking come over here selling oranges one more time Julio and I will have you deported.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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