What's the difference between a fat person and a whale? The quality of the fat. -Japan

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your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Q: Why did the grandma forget to take her pills? A: She died in a tornado

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Q. What did the 300 pound Asian get for Valentine's day A. A jetpack. Except for the fact that the previous sentence was an obvious lie making this whole joke irrelevant.

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Six hats walk out of a garden. When mustard offal fruit paps.

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Whats worse than ten dead babies in one tree? I dont know, but that is quite a graphic sight i have in my mind right now.

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What's black and white and red all over? A chess board; I lied about the "red all over" part.

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Look at the statement immediately below. Look at the statement immediately above. Hahaha! You cannot read this text! Therefore, the following joke fails to qualify as a joke and is therefore an anti-joke by virtue of constitution: Yo mama!

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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You know whats funny? Matty Broom.

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Your dick is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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What's purple and tastes like grapes? Grapes

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Kevin+Sean sitting in a tree enjoying mcdonald's free wifi.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

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Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with large genitalia.

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You know what your problem is? I'm too good looking.

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What did the horse get for Christmas? Starvation and neglect because its owner has been dead for three months of old age and he was a raging, angry, achoholic so no one cared if hey was dead and/or bothered to see if he was alive

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What do you call a gay Jew? I don't know, but Jews are cool.

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I see London, I see France. Wow! This high-speed train that travels across Europe is amazing!

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Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

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what do blondes and rocks have in common? they are both material and have extension.

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A white person went to see Think like a Lady by Steve Harvey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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