What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

Why didn't the little girl show up for school? Because she was dead.

OK. so a guy walks up to another guy and says hi. The other guy said nothing. The other guy said hi again. The guy said nothing The guy got really mad and slapppeed him across the face. Finally the man said PURPLE RABBID COMPUTER TREES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and walked away while liking his blue brick.

Why did the black man get shot Cause someone shot him

Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

What did the black kid get for his birthday?

a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

what do you call a guy called Bill? Bill

womens rights

what did the homeless man say to the stranger? nothing, he let he let his gun do the talking

What's hiding in Redfoo (from LMFAO)'s afro? Nobody knows...

Knock Knock.

Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning.

What do you call a alcaholic walking down the street..... Roadkill

Why was Susie crying? There was a frog stapled to her face.

Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

There's a priest, doctor, and blonde on a plane. At the end of the flight they all go their separate ways.

You mamma's so fat that even Dora can't explore her!

Two tomatoes where crossing the road, when one of them barely avoided being run over. The other said, come on tomato!

It only takes one drink to get me drunk.

If the Earth is square, why are trees smart? because you touch yourself at night

how fast does it take to kill a blonde? Give me a gun and i will find out

:)Knock, Knock :(Who's there? :)Barbie :(Barbie who? :)Barbieq

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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