Walk in to a room and sing "if you're deaf and you know it, clap your hands!"

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because it felt like it, now mind your own business!

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver comes into the bar and gulps down the guys drink and the guy starts crying the lorry driver says "dont cry ill buy you another" thee guy sas "it's not that today i woke up late for work and when i got there i got fired and then when i went to go home feeling depressed my car doesnt startand so i walk home and i find my wife in bed with the gardener and so i came here to die but you drank my poison"

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A lion walks into petsmart and asks the cashier were the dog food is. The Cashier replies your a cat and the cat food is in isle 4 you pussy

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Why did the boy get and iphone? It was his birthday

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What did the pedophile get for christmas? He was raped by a gorilla

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You know how I know you're gay? Because you came out to your close family and friends, who were all very respectful and accepting.

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What stars with C, is hairy on the outside, moist on the inside and ends with T and has UN in the middle? Coconut

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? Popcorn! What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck! What starts with S and ends with EX? Spandex!

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding half a worm and wondering where the other half is. o.O

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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say cheese

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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Why did the carrot jumped over the fence? It didn't. Carrots do not have the physical ability to jump.

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Can you spell iCup? I see you pee?

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What does the lifeguard do on his free time? Ejaculate.

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What do Jews suck? Because they lie, steal money, and start wars.

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why did the baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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Yeah its just my way of saying that I appreciate you worrying so much about me, you are a sweet girl, Honestly I do not understand why the hell you guys are using Horsehead AntiJoke out of all places, there are far more terrible forgettable sites available, I mean this sites connection suddenly went from disgustingly terrible to fine and dandy, the Feds, the Interpol and even fucking Al Qaeda might be reading every single message, but there is no way in hell anyone can decipher the code format, if they could, they would have done it when I invented it sixteen years ago, Myself mind you, nothing subtle about me today apparently.

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A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

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What did the boy say 2+2 was? 4

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whats yellow sticky and smelly? I dont know i was asking you

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whats a muslims name with a bomb to his chest Whatever his name is HAHAHAHAHAH

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What is the street value of Amy Winehouse's ashes? Nothing. They are ashes, not drugs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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