What do you call a cat with a pop tart for a body and rainbows flying out of its butt? Nyan Cat

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Shoot her in the head repeatedly

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There once was a man from Nantucket who lost most of his savings by making bad investment decisions.

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what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, some dont

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I suck at online but have a high gamerscore

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Your mom.

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69

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Why was the firefighter carrying a hot girl? Because her house was on fire.

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What do you call a man that is half Chinese and half Irish? Whatever you want, he's deaf so he won't be able to hear you anyway.

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I want to make a lamp shade out of your skin, because you light up my life.

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What is the difference between a dog and pile of dead babies? One of them is alive.

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Why do dead babies go to funerals? They don't.

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What do you say to a homeless man sat in a train station? That there is a homeless shelter around the corner.

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Knock knock Whos there? The Gestapo

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Jasper sucks.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the crossing gaurd allowed him to

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What is black and white and cant get through revolving doors? A zebra with a spear through its head.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its coop was on fire.

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You know what they called Obama in highschool? Nigge*

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woman's rights

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I stole all your jokes, I stole this one too.

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Why did the black man walk into the catholic church? He was catholic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops