Someone told me once, but i had terrible memory so I had them tell me again.

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Hillary Clinton and 2 male aides were on a plane on a Friday evening which us not unusual for a secretary of state.

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What did the scientist have to say about religion when he was asked by a local reporter? He said that it is a cultural system that creates powerful and long-lasting meaning, by establishing symbols that relate humanity to truths and values.

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A fish swims up stream for his anual spawning season The fish dies from a heart attack because of the rigorous that took place.

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? no eyed dear what do you call a dear with no head? dead!

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What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

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What's the difference between a girl's mouth and her vagina? There is none. I want my penis to be inside both of those things.

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waist down and had no way of feeling

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What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

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Roses are red Violets are red The grass is red OH MY GOD, THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was attached to a bomb filled with spoons

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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Q: what do you call a person who's ass is dumb A: a dumbass

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Last words of a redneck - "Hold my beer and watch this"

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What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

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Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

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Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

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My wife has terminal cancer.

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Steven hawking walks into a bar. a.w j.p

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101 ways to annoy people 1.) lying about having a 101 ways to annoy people

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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This is a joke. Laugh!

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what do you call a black man on a bike? a black man on a bike.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops