Hey, how much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to drown as a result of climate change.

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roses are red violets are blue I hear a bus...

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When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

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What's the difference between you and a bucket full of shit? The bucket...

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Having legs.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What should you do if you come across a slut with a fork up her @ss and a gun in her hand? Do not look at her and walk away.

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Whats black and gay? Obama

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's blind.

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what do you get from sleeping with a hooker? An orgasm

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Why couldn't Tommy pick up the bunny? Because the bunny was schizophrenic and Tommy wasn't real.

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Q: Why did the bear fall out of the tree? A: Because humans tranquilized him, brought him to an animal shelter 100 miles away from his home. Then after he got out he got hit by a car and died. PETA is watching.....always

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How many polish people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -One

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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What did the guy who speaks in tongue say to the other guy who speaks in tongue? Gibberish

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

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What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

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Q:Why did the man fall down the stairs? A:Because someone pushed him down.

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Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

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A man walks into a Bar, and he gets kicked out because its an animal only bar no people allowed

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A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

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How many ADD kids does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're people to you know...

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What does the Cookie Monster eat? Nothing. The Cookie Monster is not a living, sentient being and does not require sustenance to live.

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What's small and doesn't turn girls on? A bottlecap.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops