Roses are red Pickles are green I leik ur legs and whats inbetween

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What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

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Today I went to the grocery store. I purchased milk, eggs, orange juice, and my favorite breakfast cereal for $18.73. I subsequently got into my sedan and drove home.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty jumped off and committed suicide.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Africa is great, you should get raped

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What do you call "Bob the Builder" when he retires Bob

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What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, Dick in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

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What do you call a big hungry duck? A duck thats hungry and big

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How many Jews does it take to fill a shower? As many as it does to fill an ash tray.

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What'd the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish, remember?

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What do you call a Muslim pilot? An accident waiting to happen

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A pilot walks into a bar just before his last flight of the day. "Give me a stiff one to get through this last flight, I've had a long day," the pilot tells the bartender. The bartender promptly refuses the pilot service and kicks him out of the bar, since operating an aircraft under the influences of alcohol would at least constitute gross negligence and at worst, murder.

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Tic tac toe Your mother and I are getting a divorce.

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What do you call the fear of anteaters? Stupid.

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer..... Just Kidding! He got a bike!

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Doctor, my husband tells me he doesn't like my figure .... That's irrelevant now, you've contracted a rare blood disease and will be dead within a month.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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What did the lamp say to the pencil? Nothing. Lamps and pencils are inanimate objects and are also non sentient so therefore are incapable of talking or listening or having any emotions.

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WELL YOU ARE ALL A ROOF. So pie, my dearest Adam. Like a butthole.

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What do you call a man bathing with a toaster Electrocuted

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Q:what do you call a black guy with a gun A:racial equality in our nations armed forces

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey lolololol Im a dog

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* Why is this dog barking? * Because he's a dog, if he were a cat it would meow.

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What has four wheels, two wings, and flies? A bird...I was kidding about the wheels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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