Why did the man get a DUI? Because he was driving under the influence.

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Ok class, we are doing arts and crafts today, but remember, have fun and be creative... Thats what she said

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The american education system.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw 'em.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a turkey? Just a sort of mixed bird thing.

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What did I wake upto this morning that was white , cold and 2 inches deep? My tiny flaccid penis.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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A man has only two fingers on one hand, and everybody calls him two-fingered Mike. Why? Because his fingers were lost in a tragic accident at birth, and his parents, who were considering calling him Mike, decided to lengthen the name because it seemed appropriate.

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What is worse than finding an apple in you worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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A horse walks into a bar. It neighs and knocks over a few tables before leaving the bar confused.

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What's black and fun to hang from trees? Tire swings.

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A man walks into a bar. On the way home, he is driving, careers off the road and crashes. Lesson here. Don't walk into poles

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Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You were supposed to die 12 seconds ago....

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Burp

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This is the worst anti-joke on the entire site. Just look at all the thumbs down!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Carrot fingers

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What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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If there are 50 bricks on an airplane, and 3 fall off, how many are left? It does not matter how many are left, however, the 3 falling bricks pose a serious safety threat and more should have occurred to properly secure the bricks from falling from the aircraft.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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