Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it does whatever the hell it wants to do!

Justin Port#$ falls out of a tree. What happens? he breaks his neck and unfortually dies a long painful death.

What is the difference between an obese white man, and a physically fit black man? Their weight and skin color.

A white man, a black man, and a Mexican board a plane. The white man watches the on-flight film. The black man watches the on-flight film. The Mexican also watches the on-flight film. At the end of a long flight, they leave the plane and go do whatever it is they planned to do at their destination.

Today, I had intercourse with a teddy bear

You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

why was the carrot sad? it was stuck in an antelopes anus

the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

I like my coffee like I like my women Without a penis

w8's white and speaks russian a russian stronk

knock knock who's there? The police your family is dead

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

why did the child fail to make his bed? because he has downs syndrome and he is incapable of participating in everyday activities.

A dog, a cat, and a a fish were having a conversation while their owners were away. Ashton Kutcher is a murderer.

what did a ginger say to god? nothing gingers dont have souls and therefore cant go to heaven

whats the biggest ever snake found ? i dont know i dont study snakes :O

Roses are red, Violets are blue, He has died, And now will you,

A duck, a rabbi, a homosexual, and the president walk into a bar. As a result, bruises appeared on their foreheads.

wat did the candle say to the lighter? nothing candles cant speak because they are inamimate objects, even so i think a candle would just scream anyway, would you buy a screaming candle?

Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was struck by lightning and died.

Why is little Susie crying? Her entire family is dead.

I love pissing people off :P

whats red and falls from a tree an apple

how did the bling man cross the street? He didn't half way there he tripped and got ran over by a car.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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