A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Life is an abstract object incapable of handing out gifts, thus if given a lemon by life you should go to a doctor to make sure you don't have an undiagnosed disease.

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How will the world end? That information is unknown

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I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

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what is the different between a prostitute and your wife one is on contract and the other pay as you go

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A black man and a Mexican are in the back of a car, who's driving? Their father Micheal, he adopted both of them from a mentally handicapped orphanage when they were five.

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What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Potatoes. Potatoes who? Garlic salt.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it lost Consciousness.

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Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours? A: Because she was dead.

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Two tomatoes were crossing a road when one of them got hit by a truck. The other said, Carrot.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies A live one eating its way out!

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Ever heard of a funny black guy? Me either

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What did the little asian boy get for his birthday? To work for minimun wage making high quality shoes for greedy white people in North America who dont care about anybody but themselves.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a shot. The bartender asks to see his I.D. The man explains that he had lost his I.D. earlier in the day. The bartender then asked the man to leave, so he left.

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How did Clumsy Clearance eat shit? He was in the Human Centipede.

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? He had his legs amputated. He'll never ride his bike again.

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How do you turn a frown upside down? You cannot do such a thing because frowning is the act of sadness. Therefore you cannot nor should not change a persons attitude.

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A man name Bill works 12 hours a day at a warehouse, almost everyday a week. It is a hard job but Bill does it to support his beautiful wife of many years. Bill thinks the long hard days are worth every moment he gets to spend with her. One night, after a hard day, he comes home to find another man in bed with his wife. Bill begins to sob and yell "I work 12 hours a day at a warehouse....." His wife yells back. "We already read this part, get to the punchline".

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What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup? One of them involves the killing of an intelligent animal and the other involves the harvesting of seeds from a non-sentient plant.

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69 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH *goes crazy and shoots himself*

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Q: What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? A: Ten babies nailed to eleven trees.

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A black man walks into a bar and orders a shot. He then precedes to drink it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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