Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why should you never trust anglers? Because they're always into fishy business... Why should you never trust hunters? Because they carry loaded guns...

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why do Jew's have long noses? To dig out of the ashes.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

If somebody chucks skittles at you saying taste the frickin rainbow Run over them with a car and say "NationWide is on your side!!! ????

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the hobo break both of his arms? He didn't like them.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

MILLERS FUNNY LIKE A JEW

thumb_up thumb_down +3

So A duck wants to be a musician. Day1: He cuts of his beak attempting to sing. Day2: Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

thumb_up thumb_down -1

sally was hit by a bus and lost both arms knock knock who's there? not sally

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken run across the road? It was 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. ----- Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did the 3 year old get for her birthday? nothing she died of terminal cancer at the age of 2

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock Who's There? Mom Mom who? Open the door idiot

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Yo mom so fat that even Torres won't miss her

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When life gives you lemons you are like "how did I get these lemons?"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't the Mexican have a job? Because stereotypes made employers unjustly reluctant to hire a hard-working, competent man.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what du u call a aplle raisni in the hotr sun? graep duahahahahahahejejejejejejahahahejejejwyan

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Two elephants were out flying. Then one elephant said to the other: My grandmother has a pink toothbrush!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a fish with no I's Animal cruelty

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why was the black man picking cotton from the backyard? Because he enjoys gardening as a hobby, and prefers to do it every Sunday, after work.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you get when a person and a cat try to have a child of some sort? Nothing because there chromosomes don't match, and there for physically impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops