your mom is so ugly that she was made fun of in highschool so much that she now has social issues and a fear of close relationships which is why she left you and your father at age 5

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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So a man walking down a nature trail came across an injured fox laying on the ground in pain, it looked like it was attacked recently. There wasn't much the man could do at the time, so he gently picked up the fox and rushed the fox to his house. The man arrives moments later at his house with the fox. There were a lot of options the man could choose, but he went with a simple recipe. The man grabbed a knife and gutted the fox, removing all unnecessary organs. He then skinned the fox of it's fur. He sliced the head off, cut the legs to a stub, and stuffed it. He gave it a nice seasoning and placed it in the oven at about 350F for 6 hours. When the fox was perfectly cooked, it was taken out of the oven and left to sit for about 5 minutes to cool. He cut a chunk of meat from the dish and sat down to eat. "What a fine meal" the man said.

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Q: If Hitler spots a jew, what will he do? A: You suck at history dude, Hitler is dead! Moral: What? You did not get the daily news?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. It was a footless chicken.

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He is seriously pissed off about being repeatedly subjected to this level of intense interrogation. Do you ask other animals why they chase their tails or claw at dirt? Do people ask you why you run when you're late? How would you like to have every move you made transformed into some cliche, old farce? There's a road, he's a chicken, there are only so many possible outcomes.

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roses are red, violets are blue i couldnt spend one night without you

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Your Mommy is a gas pump.

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Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care what a chicken thinks?

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Whats funnier then a dead baby? A lot of things.

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A buddhist,islamist and a prohibitionist walk into a bar.

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A man walked into a bar.He woke up hours later and went home. By TheRealPaddock

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what do you call a black doctor ? a doctor moron

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Roses are Red, Violets are Violet, Not Blue, Kill yourself.

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Where do astronaut cows go? Nowhere. There's no such thing as an astronaut cow.

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Q: What do you call a black person that flies planes? A: A pilot you racist

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why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

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Two black guys walk into a bar and arrest the under age drinkers

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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i man walks into a bar, he is found dead two days later with severe head trauma.

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what do you call a martial arts instructor with a medical degree who's name is Richard? Craig... just kidding, Richard

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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