How does shit taste?\ Good.

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Have you heard the one about the Norwegian? He killed 98 people.

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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How did the blonde die? She got swallowed whole by a 1,000-foot scorpion.

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Why are you so gay? Because I am a homosexual.

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So the man goes to the doctor and the doctor tells the man " you will have to quit masturbating " So the man asks " why" And the doctor said " so I can examine you "

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Women's Rights

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One day, a bear happoned across a man and said "How do you do today good sir?" but the man ran away screaming "OH CRAP, BEARS!!!!" because it just sounded like bear growling (which i would love to dedicate to my friend Chris Bradley, just to make the ball to stick ratio too high)

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A wife says to her husband "Everybody's coming over tonight, I want you to dress nice." *logically this cannot happen because there is no way that this couples residence can fit all 6 or so billion people in the world, nor would they want to.

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Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

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whats worse that finding your having sex with your long lost sister? having sex with your long lost brother

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? nothing.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting owl Interrupting owl- HOOOOOOOOOOOO

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How do you start a riot in Mexico? Roll a penny down the street.

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I am so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.

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You have three biscuits. Your friend eats two. How many biscuits do you have? A: 3 Your friend is bulemic so he throws them both up, so you still have them.

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Why did the white comedian get booed off stage? Because his jokes were humorless and offensive.

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Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

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What did the sheriff call the death of a black man who was shot 14 times? -The worst case of suicide he'd ever seen.

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If a white person and black person have a baby, what colour is the baby? Grey

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So a dolphin is dropped off at a park and dies because he was out of the water to long.

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What did the child say to the clown? For a professional entertainer, you're not that funny.

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how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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