What's big,long,and mostly men use it? A submarine

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do a a pickle and a rabbit have in common? They are both green...except the rabbit

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A black man and a Mexican fall off a cliff, who dies first? They both die from hitting sharp rocks at the bottom crushing their skulls, so it doesn't matter its just really sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you make a kids fall off a swing? Throw an axe at them

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is worse then finding a worm in your apple!? Getting raped!

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his farmer was abusive.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Whats wrong with that Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.

thumb_up thumb_down +14,133

Did the boy ever tell you how he died? Trick questions he's dead, deceased bodies can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what did the rabbi say to the priest? jesus christ, your breath stinks.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why does Mario wear coveralls? Because it makes practical sense for his full time job as a plumber.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

3 guys were caught trespassing in a field and were sent to jail. The cop asked the first guy, "What were you doing in the field? He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop asked the second guy, "What were you doing in the field?" He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop then asked the third guy, "Lemme guess, you were blowing bubbles too? The guy replied, "No silly, I am Bubbles!"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination" and then he was resuscitated and became an atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Q: What do you call a man with a spade in his head? A: An ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How can you tell if your wife is dead? She no longer has a pulse.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? While Beethoven enjoyed many different varieties of fruit, he found strawberries the most appealing.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did Hitler shoot himself He saw his his gas bill

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did the boy stay home from school? it was saturday

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man and a dog were sitting on a hill, the dog says to the man "Nice weather we are having today isn't it?" The man then goes insane because dogs can't talk, then later commits suicide from depression caused by his wife leaving him.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops