Roses are Red Violets are blue Shut up I'm watching Re-runs of FRIENDS.

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What's worse than winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why did the little boy didn't finish his dinner? He died.

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There was a dog and a cat. What happens next? The cat's not there anymore. Neither is the dog. Can you guess what happend? The dog ate the cat, but the cat was his friend, so the dog committed suicide.

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In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

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Uncle Eugene enjoyed to drive. Then he was killed in a car crash.

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What do you call 5 black people being killed in a car crash? A terrible incident

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Why did the boy only have one arm? tigers make terrible pets

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? I just said it was Steve

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what rhymes with ham and bread? girl, make me a sandwich

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How do you drown a blonde. Put a Scratch N Sniff at the bottom of a pool and tell her to sniff it.

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Why don't women like to have penises? Evidently women have different tastes than men in what body parts they enjoy having.

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Why couldn't the blonde make ice cubes? Because recently she has been missing payments on the elictric bill because of economic hardships.

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How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Two.

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What do you call a person with an arrow in their head? Dead

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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I used to be an adventurer, but then I decided to retire.

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Where did susie go after the explosion? everywhere. What was susie after the explosion? a puzzle.

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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Want some candy? Lol jk get in my van.

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So a hispanic man and a black man jump from a tree, which one hits the ground first? The hispanic man, the rope caught the black man.

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whos on the right track? lady gaga

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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