Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

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When you nut and slice her fukcing dumb head off fucking dumb BITCH DIES

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2 girls talking to each other: brunette: Christmas is on Friday this year blonde: let's hope its not on Friday the 13th!!!!!

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Why wasn't the 7 year old boy happy? I shot him

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Whats black and white and red all over. A penguin in a blender.

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whats big and white and falls from the sky\ Refrigerator

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist bastard..

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Why was the truck driver speeding down the road? To get to his mother's funeral. Why didn't the baby cross the road? Because it didn't have any guts.

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A train poops its pants.

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What do you call a prostitute with no arms and legs? Unfortunate, as they've probably have many misfortunes in life.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not doing your Webtime on a Friday!!

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A man from florida and a woman from florida go to a restaurant, which isnt very popular.

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What is worse than being lost in the supermarket? Being lost in space.

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Why did the duly oppressed individual where sunglasses? Because the sun was bright.

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Knock Knock Who's there? No one was there. It was two birds flew into the door and died.

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Jake: When was war of 1812? Harry: 1812 Jake: Oh.

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What do a Mexican, and American, a black guy, and an Asian all have in common? Believe it or not, they all like cantalope.

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Roses are red Violets are violet Why does it go like that anyways? ~Yasmin~

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What's the square root of yo mama? That which when multiplied by itself equals yo mama.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

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your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

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why did the girl fall off the swing..? because she became unbalanced and the force of gravity extended on her was too great to prevent the fall

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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