your mom is so ugly when she entered an ugly contest they said... ok

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What do a cow and a banana have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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Dick in your vagina fuck cock cunt shit

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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What happened to the guy that got shot? He fell down

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What happened when the high school student had intercourse with his history teacher? orgasmic noises.

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DERP

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Three men walk into a Bar.... You'd have thought at least one of them would have seen it !

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"You go, Glen Coco" -Mean Girls, 2004

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What's big, old, and brown? A tree.

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What do you get when you cross a train track and a bumpy feild, Further along on your GPS map.

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What's worse than getting punched in the balls? Many things inflict more pain than that

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What's better than getting second place in the paralympics? Having legs.

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An IRS agent named Harold Crick finds that he has the ability to hear a narrator comment on every moment of his life. He later becomes institutionalized in the Schizophrenic ward.

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how do you kill a blonde?? put a scratch n sniff on the bottom of a pool

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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my nAME IS ALAN AND IM NOT COOL

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:) Hey AMBY VALENT! Want to join our horsehead show below?? *Laughing track with that fat loud bitch that wont stop laughing making the actors stare at each other like douches* :/ Muuh, I dont really care im just some meh character anyway so yuh...' *Laughing track* ? ???? ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA! :( Hey get outta our show here you China man! *OOOH! Track plays with some fa*ott whistling* ? ???? | Baka! *leaves* *Awww track plays* *Laughing track*

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked: "Why the long face?" The horse said: "My wife just died."

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What is it called when a black guy gets robed A crime

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A recently engaged couple are having sex. The man finishes in just under 3 minutes as usual. The woman then says "I love you" because they've been together for over 2 years and they care for each other very deeply.

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whats black and hangs from my tree my neighbor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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