Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

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People could crack eggs but Chuck Norris could crack chickens.

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 magnum and murdered her violently.

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is mayonnaise an instrument?

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if your having trouble coming through the back door, try a Butterfinger

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roses are red voilets are blue my dog stinks and so do you!

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a mexican guy, a jewish guy, and a priest jump off a plane they landed safely and had a great day

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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What do you get when you cross 3 men and a chainsaw? Answer: 2 and a half men

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Why did the black man go through the window of the house? He left his keys inside

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Roses are red. Violets are red. I have a gun. What did i do?

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Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

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dont be afraid of lard squeezing cause really its just me teasing

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Why do dogs lick their balls? Why? Because they can.

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Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits.

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Girl:Do you wanna hear a joke? Boy:Sure... Girl: jesus loves you

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Guest what in the butt

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor "Hey, wheres my tractor?"

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Regarding the "I will violate you, your children and your parent if you thumb me red" comment belo. I had a green thumb, I know because I gave it to myself because I am awesome... Now I got none... I person that this this, I cannot wait to X-mas where I will be violating them all, tell them, and as thus remind you that this was their Christmas present from you... Your friendly r*pist neighborhood Moral Man: Yes, I am your neigbor... I cant wait for slot number 24 on my christmas calendar... There is a picture of you and your family... Yummy!

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I run, but I have no legs. I see, but I have no eyes. What am I? A prospective result of future medical advancements that allow the disabled to live normal, healthy and fulfilling lives.

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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