How do you make Yoda sad? Kill all of his friends.

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cop arrests a jew and interrogates him Jew. i aint telling you nothing cop: really cop pours a bag of coins on the table jew: thats about $7.80 cop: you can have it if you tell us what we want to know jew: ok jew: i stole the money 123

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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whats orange, nocturnal, and hurts to the touch? The sun or an orange owl... Depends on your preference

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How many hamburgers can a grizzly bear eat? Maybe 6.

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yo mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, 200 l.b.s

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Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

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What do you call a fat kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic, so to make his activities in the bar into a joke would be disrespectful and inconsiderate.

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Asian NASCAR.

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Half life 3 confirmed

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Why did the 5 year-old go to the hospital? He had cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't cross it. He was pushed.

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I went to church.. i didn't get raped. I went to school... I didn't get raped. I went into a back alley... I didn't get raped. I went home... I didn't get raped. Today was better than yesterday...

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What do you say when you walk into an optical? "Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?"

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted. You're adopt...wait what?

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Your argument is invalid, but I will allow you your opinion nonetheless.

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what did the bug say when it got ran over by a car? NOTHING, bugs can't talk

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John, your son. Now open the door.

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What is the defference between Obama and an American? Obama doesn't have a birth certificate.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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A white man/women works behing the counter at a 7/11

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Oh my god, I'm on fire! Help me, help me, oh God it's everywhere!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmers daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soybean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture removers van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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