2 guys walk into a bar but the third one has known about what happens to the third guy but since he is reading this in a newspaper and his unaware of his surroundings he walks into the bar anyway and feels very foolish.

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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What did the overweight blind kid get for Christmas? His parents died in a tragic car crash and he was left alone, fat and blind to fend for himself

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree, because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree, becuase it was dead. why did the third monkey fall out of the tree, because he thought it was a game!

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What do you call a baby in a blender? The newest Doritos dip.

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What did the say to the host of the pool party after he pooped? Mr. TImmons! There is chocolate in the pool!

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Why did the blond get fired from her job at the M&M factory? Because she threw out all the M&M's with W's on them.

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A man had a terminal illness. He died a few months after he was diagnosed.

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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Why is an orange, orange. Because you can't clean a window with a spade.

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So there was a blond, a brunette, and a red-head. They walked out of the salon very happy with their respective dye jobs.

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What do you call a police officer who kills a black person? Innocent

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My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

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I scream. You scream. We all scream. Because there is a rapist in the room.

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ring around the rosie ... your dead

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PENIS

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What does a Chinese girl get for Christmas? New parents...

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Q.What do you call a apple with a unibrow? A. A failed science experiment!!!

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. His death was mourned by his wife and three children who wished he would not have been so reckless.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Max

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Knock Knock Who's there? Do you have a minute to talk about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

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There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

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Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

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why did the plane crash? the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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