Whats the difference between obama and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Is dead

knock, knock Who's there? A social worker, we are taking your children into costody because your wife has reported you to the police for molesting them.

What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

a chinese man and an irishman walk into a bar. This is odd because these men are from countries extremely far apart from one another

1+2 = 6

How do you make a 4 year old cry? You tell him all his family died in a horrible plane crash.

what is the difference between a picture of brooklyn decker and my grandma....i jack off to the picture of my grandma

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The brunette and the redhead escape, but the blonde is captured. Why? Because she had a prosthetic leg sustained from a previous injury, and thus couldn't run very fast.

What did the cow say to the other cow? How should i know? Go ask them.

What do you can an astronaut with an apple? Never mind, I have a boner.

Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

A terrorist walks into a bomb shop. He soon realizes he's in the wrong shop, leaves and goes on with his day.

What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson? A collision, if Michael Jackson were alive.

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

A vodka please Sir this is McDonald's Ok sorry, a McVodka please

What's big, white, and kills you if it falls out of a tree. A Fridge

How did the fat man die? He was fed porrage until he died. Who killed the fat man? Leonardo DaVici How did Leonardo Da Vinci die? Natural causes (Actually I have no idea how Leonardo Da Vici died but if I am wrong please correct me) Thank You for your coperation.

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

the redsox

Why the girl have a crooked leg? Her grandma thought that she was a pretzel and while the girl was sleeping the grandma tried to bend the girls leg into a pretzel shape

Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Heroshima

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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