Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man is pulled over because he is suspected of drunk driving. The officer comes to the window and is greeted by a man who then replies: What seems to be the officer, problem?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What call a duck with no wings? A deformity.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

i stole a monkey from a man in a yellow hat his name is george now his name is i hate you

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the Asian guy's condom slip? Because the condom was put on the opposite way.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why was the boy sad? his friend got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what did the gay guy get for his birthday aids

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Yo mamma is so fat her blood type is RAGU

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? Because she was a mother catering her child's sporting event.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink then walks out of the bar ...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

There was a dog and a cat. What happens next? The cat's not there anymore. Neither is the dog. Can you guess what happend? The dog ate the cat, but the cat was his friend, so the dog committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the dog run away from home? His house burned down and his owners were killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Many of people would like to know this question. We have not invented a mind reading device and chickens can't communicate with humans. So no one knows

thumb_up thumb_down +5

have you ever tried Ethiopian food? neither have they

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How can you tell if someone is vegan? -they'll tell you

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A: Knock Knock B: 7

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How do you kill a fish? You bite off its head.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus isn't real. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid? I'm talking to him!"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock-Knock Who's there? A giant spider-like insect that lays eggs in your brain which turn into larvae that drop down onto your tongue and eat your teeth slowly, then form a cocoon and turn into the spider-like insect spoken of previously. You then wake up from this terrible nightmare and get ready for your well paying job.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q. What do you call cheese that's not yours? A. Stolen, you're under arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

fack me in the ace! CC

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's better than eating an orange? Anal sex with Kim Kardashian.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops