every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Roses are Red Violets are Blue If You Bend Over Some More I'll Eat That Booty Too

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There once was a man from Dundee, Whose Limericks ended on line three. I don't know why.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what did little billy say to susie? "why, hello susie."

thumb_up thumb_down -123

0000000010000000000000001000000000000000000000011111111000000000111111000000000000000000011111000000000000011100000000000000000000000000000000100000000000000000000000000000000000000001000000000000000000000000000000000000000011100000000000000000000000000000000000000111100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001111111111111111100000000000000000000000001000000000000001000000000000000000000000001000000000000100000000000000000000000000001111111111111000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 SMILE

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is the difference between a pizza and a Black guy? A pizza can serve a family of four.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Once a upon of time, cow said chicken go cluck. Years later, mustard was like a ketchup. I said it was good. Oh yea baby. It was a good day.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

whats the hardest part about eating a vegitable getting your mouth around the wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

knock knock

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why was the woman sad? Because her son died.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you make an Indian explode? Push the red button

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Helen Keller always ride in the passenger seat? so she could SUCK THE DRIVERS D!CK!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa is a jolly Christmas figure that delivers presents to children and Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

One day a horse goes to a bakery store and asks the shopkeeper for a fresh loaf of bread. Surprised at the request the shopkeeper asked - White bread or whole wheat? To which the horse replied - Makes no difference cause i rode my bicycle to work yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock Whos there? I dunno I didnt answer the door

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why was the comedian so funny? Because that's his job, and if he wasn't funny he would have to become a hobo.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

The other day, a buddy of mine gave me some of his sandwich. "My wife made it," he said. "It's really good," I answered. We chewed in silence after that.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Stop with the 9/11 jokes guys. They're just plane stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call two Muslims flying an airplane? Pilots

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Nothing because saying a fish can talk is like saying Obama is a good president.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops