How do you kill a blonde? lightsabre to the throat should do it

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what do u call a black person a black person dehh

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I ran in to Hitler. "Hey, Hitler, what's up?" I asked. "Well, this time I am going to kill 6 million Jews and 2 clowns." "Two clowns?" I ask. "Why two clowns?" "See!" He exclaimed. "No one cares about the Jews!"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

This is "Eliza" holy shit! I almost gave up and went to a party assuming you guys had simply skipped the reply. Please tell me nothing of this is written in code, because I have no fucking idea how to decipher it... ...To think that so few consider Nero a hero for all that he has done, and so many have come to hate him and still follow his advice basically abusing him. I told my sister to use mom`s cellphone to call and warn as many as possible, telling them to spread the word, is Nero7 Going to make it? He mentioned a barfight starting over nothing during new years eve. I know that some of the members where planning to use his own teachings in order to overthrow him, I warned him but he was fully aware already but did nothing for some reason. Yet none of them have the assets to do anything like this... Should I start calling all those members that left during Nero7`s "sudden paranoia period?" Many of them have political authority and can be of help if we can somehow convince them. Respond Asap, and if Nero7 is in a public hospital, then get him the hell out of there, he is an exposed target for anyone, if he gets killed, ill fucking kill you you hear me!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

When a suicide-bomber when to heaven what did Allah give him apart from 72 virgins? 72 mothers in law.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the bus hit the kid? he dropped his ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Today my friend was surprised at the black joke I told today, but I can tell that joke because most of my closest friends are white.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yo momma is so average, she has to maintain her own facebook account...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

that awkward moment when you get in the van and there are no sweets...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

if life gives you melons, then you're most likely dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mother is so fat, she appeals to my secret fetish.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What kind of gun cant shoot bullets Hand guns

thumb_up thumb_down +1

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Knock Knock. There was no answer.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what electronic vegetable sits in a chair? stephen hawking

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what's worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding an apple in your pet worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you call a dog with no legs? You can't call it, you have to go and pick it up.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A bartender sees Jesus Christ, George Washington, and Adolf Hitler walk into his bar. The bartender is drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti-Joke is a sticky wicket.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

how many tentacles did the mentally retarded octopus have? answer: 8!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a bear eating another bear? A cannibal.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops