I heard you let the cat out of the bag. It died.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was holding on to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Pier pressure.

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took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

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68

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I just can't stand sitting down!

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If life gives you lemons, keep them because hey, free lemons

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In 2012 at what age are Americans allowed drink? At any age. liquids are vital for human beings to survive.

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Where's Waldo? The cemetery, he died last week.

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I once went to a chiropractor. She was so awful looking. You know those weird spiky fish with the lightbulb hanging off it's head? .....I saw one in a documentary once.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The mailman The mailman who? How dumb are you?

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How did the gay guy greet the other gay guy? Nice to meet you.

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I drive in driveways. I recite in recitals. I play in plays. I park on parkways. My greenhouse is green. And my boxing ring is round. Why does everyone think I'm weird??

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know I asked you

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3 women are on a plane. One blonde, one brunnete, and the other a red head. The pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. The 3 women find out that there is only one parachute in the plane. The plane crashes and they all die.

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It's not that hard to be Dyslexic. You just have to accept it nad ovem no.

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What do you call a man with 3 legs and one arm jumping on a trampoline? By his name.

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your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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What did the bus driver say to the black man? I like your shoes.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I threw a fridge at her.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says why the long face. The horse, unable to understand English shits on the floor and leaves

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Everyone in the bar is very happy for him considering he has regained the ability to walk

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What's orange, brown, and blue? An orange, brown, and blue object.

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When you wish upon a star... You are only seeing the light of that star, which has taken billions of years to travel here. The star that you are looking at has most likely dead, Just like your dreams.

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A Tatooine moisture farmer, an old man, an astromech droid, and a protocol droid walk into a cantina at Mos Eisley Space Port. The bartender says, "We don't serve their kind here! They'll have to wait outside. We don't want them here." The moisture farmer then says to his droids, "Listen, why don't you wait out by the speeder. We don't want any trouble."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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