What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did jack fall off a cliff? Coz the hill was on a cliff.

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whats worse then biting into a worm and finding an apple??? getting raped up the butt by a giant tiger!

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Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

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Eeny meeny miny moe, Catch a piglet by its toe, If it squeals let it go, Or you'll be arrested for animal abuse and receive a heavy fine.

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What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't because it got hit by a car.

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What's more fun than thumbing down a shit joke? Thumbing down a shit joke which is neutral previous to your disliking giving it a little negative number.

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What did the boob say to the bra? sup bra

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What goes in dry and comes out wet Gum

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Whats red, green, and goes 60 mph? A frog in a blender.

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Why did the Jewish population diminish in the '40s? Showers and Ovens

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What do you say to a black guy who is holding a gun to your head? Nothing. He is holding a gun to your head.

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Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

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What did the prostitute say to the cop? What? I can suck your dick for free Mr. Officer

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Did you just admit being considerate? I do not care about who gets the last comment anymore, I need to tear my face away from the screen ASAP.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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What's the difference between working at Mc Donalds and working as a hooker? A hooker gets paid more.

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How did the blonde burn her ear? In a terrible accident involving molten lava.

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I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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Roses are red Violets are blue... Violets are not blue they are actually purple

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you're so stupid, you have trouble understanding what you read, like the newspaper, for example

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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