EVERYBODY THUMB THIS JOKE DOWN

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Whats green and has wheels? A green car.

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why did the mexican steal the money? because he was financially struggling and needed the money to support his family

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What's big and grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

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What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

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Why did Jim fall out of the tree? Because Jim is a leaf.

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What did one bunny rabbit say to the other bunny rabbit? I'm a bunny rabbit!

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What did the skeleton say to the vampire? Nothing because a skeleton wouldn't have a larynx.

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The first cow: are you worried about mad cow disease? the second cow: no, im a helicopter

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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News:Little boy found dead in old man's white van. Turns out the old man goes to the store and when he comes back the little boy chokes on an apple.

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What is better than life? Nothing.

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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What's harder than a rock? The dead baby in my freezer.

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What is green and had wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.....

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What's black and white and red all over? A referee eating a red Popsicle on a hot summers day.

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What happens when a PC gamer without a mic rages? ASDKFHQIUEWHASKZNF9324Y8PTWFSDIUHASDFADSFUFKASJDF843QADKJVNCXT%$W(ESDHDSFAAASDFASKLDFU8EWADSdsfalsdkjfhuewanzxcAJSKDFUIEW

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What did the man say to the woman giving him a blowjob? That feels good.

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How did the soccer team win? They scored the most goals.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted, the other was brutally raped.

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3 black men walk into a bar. They order their drinks, tip the bartender, and could not have been more courteous.

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Why couldn't little Jessica open the door? It was locked

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Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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