why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

So after 2 years of dating, the man thought the woman actually loved him. So to find out they took a ski trip and during their day they were on the chairlift and the man asked the woman "Do you love me?" The woman replied "No...I'm just in it for the sex, but that's a nice ski mask you have on"

Whats worse then getting hit by a truck? Getting hit by a turkey!

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a cage being carried by a farmer.

How did the jew reply to the racist comment? Judaism is not a race, it's a religion.

Why was little Timmy afraid of his dentist? Because he was 10 foot scorpion.

yo momma is so poor that she may not be abe to accumulate the right amount of revenue necessary for your college funding.

A man walk into a bar. Just kidding he has no legs.

Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

what do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' Cheese

What is 1+1? It's 2!

Schizophrenia will affect over 1.5 million people this year. At least, thats what my flying, albino pet rhinoceros told me.

Why does a chicken lay an egg? If she'd throw it it would break.

Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because Sally has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

What is worse than failing a class? Dress up for grown-ups.

whats worse than being late to school haveing your family killed by an angry peice of toast

Roses are red, violets are blue No they're not, violets are violet

Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

Why did the wiener dog fight the cock. Because it was a cock-fight.

Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

Why did robin get in the batmobile? Batman told him to

What's red, blue, green, yellow, pink, purple, orange, teal, light green, brown, black and white? Colours, except for black and white, for they are the absence and amalgam of all colours, respectively.

Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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