Q:Whats big, red and eats rocks? A: A big red rock eater

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What do airplanes and grapes have in common? They both have wings, except a grape doesn't.

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What did the man say to his wife. Hi

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4 hours later.

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Why did the kid stop going to school? His alarm clock broke.

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What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort? Enough to kill 3 and a half men.

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Where is my tractor?

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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Why do people hate Jews? Because there is nothing to like about them

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Whats Obama's last name?

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Why did a guy with a lisp, v-neck, and piercings pee while sitting down? His joints hurt.

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Knock know! Who's there? Aids! Aids who? Aids! Aids who? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad I'm not aids!

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravitational force acted upon the monkey who was not holding on to any branch.

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Roses are black. Violets are grey. I'm a dog...

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Polite say "Hey you, get out of that tree."

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He was dead.

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine [Emo Philips]

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For no reason at all Pac-man was being chased by evil monsters while eating his luch...He choked on his food and died

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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