What's half of 8? o

thumb_up thumb_down -26

knock knock - "who's there" - "i'm a escaped convict who's here to murder you and rob your house" - "Well come in the doors already open"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One you can smash with a hammer and the other is just a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What did the dog say to the owner when he took him to the vet? A: Nothing. It's a dog. It can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Hummer.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A Jew walks into a bar. It's a bar full of Neo-Nazis.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? You set her on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A little boy walks up to his father and asks his father to explain the birds and bees. The father then proceeds to rape the little boy.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's not red? No tomatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she heard there would be quaffles!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How is a fat girl like a tiny motorcycle? She isn't, and you should be ashamed of yourself for even thinking how she might be.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

One time at band camp, We practice playing our instruments and had fun.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the man screem before he crashed his car? i dont know, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

One kid clicks his pen. The kid sitting next to home clicks his pen. They next 3 kids click their pens. The teacher walks by and says "monkey see monkey do." And the kid that first clicked his pen responded and says "monkey pees all over you."

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Why did one sausage become scared of the other sausage? The first Sausage said " Hello " and the second Sausage said " OMG a talking sausage!!!" ...Jk sausages dont talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you get birds to land in your back yard? With a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +23

ermm Hello ? what about me says rishi with a tear down his eye

thumb_up thumb_down -21

XD, You must really like me Nero, do you think people have problems telling us apart here?

thumb_up thumb_down

What kind of fire alarm does a zebra not like? One that doesn't work

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops