Teachers be like "Hold on class, I am almost done with my lesson!" Students: " Aint nobody got time 4 dat!"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

25

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Jay Z: a guy eats a gluten free pickle flavored cupcake, what happened? Will ferell: no one knows what it means! It's provocative!!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would've noticed and avoided it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Because he always increases the treble input in his songs, and he doesnt have a rod.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what did the man say when he got in the car?nothing he lost his voice in an accient that morning

thumb_up thumb_down -56

What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson? I thought you were dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

There was once a boy named Aladin. He was very poor until he found a magic lamp. When he rubbed the lamp, a genie poped out of the lamp. He said... "I will grant you one wish, master" Aladin thought about this for a long time, until eventually he said... "I wish for all the chocolate in the world" "Very well, master" And the genie granted his wish and Aladin had all the chocolate in the world Unfortunately, because he ate so much chocolate, Aladin died of heart & liver failure

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats the difference between KFC and Starbucks? KFC didn't murder your sister.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why do everytime I go to toilet for number 2. I look into the toilet to see if this one's nicer than the last one.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why could the woman cook for her family? She didn't have one she was anti-social

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Two icebears are siiting on a iceberg one says to the other: Are you fine with me pushing you off? the other one responds: Would you marry me?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A man walks up to a girl and says "Hello there" The girl doesn't respond because she has been deaf and blind for her entire life and doesn't know he is there. Potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why didnt the cannibal like the taste of the comedian? because the comedian smelled very bad and the cannibal forgot to add salt.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what has 50 legs, but can't walk? half of a centipede

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a successful black man who has it all? A hip hop artist.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's the difference between my mom, and a bag of garbage? A bag of garbage is incapable of contracting aids

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The joke below this comment is stupid. Lets go Mets

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A: Why is that boy on the ground? B: He fell. A: Why did he fall? B: He tripped. A: Why did he trip? B: I tripped him. A: Why did you... B: BECAUSE I WANTED TO!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Sarah fall of the swing ? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Well it cant be sarah

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Who eats chicken noodle soup? Anybody who enjoys chicken noodle soup.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

"Knock knock" Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops