What did the boy say to the stranger at his door? He said, "i'm not supposed to talk to strangers" and closed the door.

A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks "what will you have". The man says "Friendship" and bursts out crying. At this point he is making a scene and security will have too be called.

What's brown and smells like shit? The rapidly decaying bodies of several dead chipmunks.

Roses are red, violets are blue, your so ugly, im going to kill you! Just kidding.......... Violets are purple. -Harrison

What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Eating mud

Why are all black people fast? They aren't. Some of them are slow.

What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems make sense. 5

What is red white and blue Blood. I was lying about the white and blue.

Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Because 6 was registered as a sex offender

what do you get if you cross the mafia and the yakuza? a hefty bounty on your head

Knock Knock Who's There? You don't know me, but I just hit a car parked on the street outside your house and I believe its yours, we should exchange information

What happened when the chicken crossed the road? He was hit by a bus!

You know whats funny? Matty Broom.

A man walks into an illegal brothel. He is a cop. He takes them back to the police station and questions them in a completely asexual manner.

Roses are red, Violets are Violets. Screw this poem. Potato.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I want to get you pregnant.

What did the doctor say to the female car crash victim? Nothing she was dead when he walked in the room.

Why did the casual smoker have terrible teeth? He very rarely brushed them.

A little boy walks up to his father and asks him a question, "Daddy, how are babies born?" His father then replies in an enthusiastic manner, "You see, I stuck my dick in your mom's vag and started pounding. Apparently two condoms defeat the purpose."

What did hitler give his granddaughter? A gas bill.

What's sad about black people that drink grape soda and eat fried chicken? The stereotypes are true.

What do you call a dude dinosaur that's into other dude dinosaurs? A Bi-ceritops

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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