What is yellow and smells like a flower? A yellow flower :)

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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Q: Why did the Jew have to go to a concentration camp? A: Because he was Jewish

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i am not a pothead!!! the only time ive evr been high was springbreak last year!!! mm hmm... wat were u doin over spring break to get high? i had jaw surgery and the doctor had me on tons of painkillers

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A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike when you eat them they die

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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Why did the chicken sneeze? Because someone put pepper on its nose.

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Hey Eliza, thanks, while I appreciate the help, Alice is crying in a corner and refusing to get up, I wont lie, for a moment there I could "see voices and music" and valium has taken care of the ptsd (and blown most of my brain, which is nice for a change). With that said, im on 40 mg ritalin which is a lot, but I need it, besides I can handle the anxiety. I have no idea who the guy typing this is, but he is following me to the letter, so thats good enough, except his typos being worse than mine, which is pretty good for a guy that barely speaks english. Sorry Eliza, but Alice is having a breakdown here, ill talk her down a bit first, she tries to hide it, but she is far more worried about me than I am, which is nice, just not like this, ill be right back with you.

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roses are red, violets are blue, my son is gay, f**k my life...

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their was a black man in my family tree hes still hanging on

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Why did the baby stop crying? I hit him with a brick.

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wanna hear a really funny joke? sure women's rights.

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what did the white man say to the black man with the gun? Nothing he was dead

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Why don't seagulls live in the bay? Because then they'd be bagels

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"Doctor, doctor, I am having a hard time controlling my muscles!" "It's Lesche-Nyhan Syndrome, this is a genetic terminal illness...i'm sorry."

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Adam Turkolowoskiaklfadjufsdjksbgsgsafafdsg

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Why can't penguins fly? Because their wings are adapted to swim and not to fly

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What have the TV programmes Shameless, The Jeremy Kyle Show and Benidorm all have in common? They are all examples of modern British society

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What does a person with Alzheimer's do? To get to the other side.

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What do you call a man with a convex isogonal nonprismatic head? Rhombicosidodecahedron head.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? A friendly individual who cares nothing about racial differences and instead judges people based on character.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

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What do you do when a hispanic man takes your wallet? Ask him to please give the wallet back to you

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What did the ghost say to the bee? BOOBEE

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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