Why did the chicken cross the road? Having lost his job, wife, and general sanity, he resorted to suicide by car accident.

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There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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Little Jimmy was afraid, and didn't like Santa Claus. So one Christmas Eve, he poured rat poison in Santa's milk. Little Jimmy no longer has parents.

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A fish walks into a bar

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How do you keep black people out of your backyard. A no trespassing sign.

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There is a bird and a squirrel in a tree. Later, as a farmer walked past, the squirrel ate the bird.

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Q: Whats worse than 8 babies in one bin? A: 1 babies in 8 bins

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.

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Two gay guys walk into a Hooters... They order cheese fries and enjoy their meal.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Orange What? Orange Who the hell are you and what do you want? Orange I am calling the police if you do not get off my doorstep in 5 seconds you a$$hole

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

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A brick bent down to suck my flapjack, Then he got stuck, oh what the unpleasant, This angered the brick, he lay on the grass, he shoved a stick straight up his bellybutton.

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My mom gave me a quarter. I tryed to spend it on bubblegum but 7-11 said no...

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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So an irish man walks into a bar, 10 seconds later he is dead. What happened was there was a sharp piece of metal on the bar so is cut his throat and he bleed to death.

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Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

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Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

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Why did the blond girl walk into the street pole? Because she wasn't paying attention.

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why didn't the Asian ask for a calculator cause he was doing the dishes and a calculator seemed inappropriate

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How many fish fingers does it take to change a lightbulb? Five.

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Why did Chuck Norris eat a sandwich? Because he was hungry.

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Chantelle, I loved you, but you cheated with Johnathan from Church...

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Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

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Three bears take a bath Red bear asks for the shampoo Blue bear wants the soap Wait... That's not a joke, that's a Haiku

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops