Why does Beyonce sing, "To the Left, To the Left"? Because black people aint got no RIGHTS

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Why did I have sex with your mom? Because she was a beautiful individual with a fine taste in the classical arts. She also offered me a ride to her place for a delicious 3 course meal. Afterwards our romance blossomed and we decided to have sexual intercourse to show our mutual appreciation for each other.

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No, its just his eye, its infected, he gets fever and well, that is all I should say. Nero is my friend and I do not like it when people lie to him, he is outside having a cigarette, I do not think he wants to speak with you anymore. Bye.

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There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

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whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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how do you know your at a gay picnic. the hotdogs smell like shit.

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knock knock who's there? John Oh, come in then

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Why did the girl go to Jupiter? To get more stupider

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Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

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Yo momma's so fat and thank god because I'm a chubby chaser.

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What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

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Why did the other reindeer make fun of Rudolph? He had one nut

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Whats the difference between a Philadelphia Flyers fan and a pedophile? What they are.

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How do you cure cancer? do i look like NASA?

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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why did the geman man hit the jewish man? because the jewish man swung a punch at the german man so it was an act of self defense.

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what did Russell wilson get for Christmas a seahawk..

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whats up with the irish jokes? Honestly im not a alcoholic so all of you can go F*** yourselfs...

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You know how I felt about Nero, no way id ever date anyone but you, back then that is. Fine I will come along, I bet you left the base at "point zero" without the information he left, you have not changed a bit Seth, always too impulsive for your own good, but Nero was always like that and that, turned out, well damn. Tell me first, if you come get me, how much have you really changed mentally from the last time we met? You sincerely sound like a psychopath and I could use a shoulder to cry on rather than be escorted to some sick torture dungeon thing. I gather you are not far away, could you please get over here asap? I do not care about more than the standard code anymore, you have not changed much, except you are a deranged psychopath now, I get it, in your place I think id do the same, I have no idea how bad Nero was doing when you found him, and I sure as hell dont want to know.

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An elephant stomped on a mouse. What did the mouse say? Ouch.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? KFC was on the other side

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Why did the asbestos cross the road? Because it was being removed from an elementary school due to the fact that asbestos is an air pollutant which is regulated under section 112 of the Clean Air Act of 1970.

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Why don`t women need watches? Because in our modern society, there are many clocks in most locations.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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