Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? Just in case he gets a hole in one! -LEts Go Mets P.S the comment below is also very stupid

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If John has 50 candy bars, and he eats 45, how many cadybars does John have? Diabetes, John has diabetes.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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what did the lonely boy get for christmas? the absence of a familly

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Anne Widdecombe becomes attractive.

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how do you make a cat blink? strike him with a hammer.

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was free-range.

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A man is taking a shower in jail where he drops the soap. He proceeds to pick the soap up and cleans the rest of his body, puts his orange jumpsuit on and returns to his cell.

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A white man, a black man, an Asian man, a Mexican man, a subasian man, an Austrailian man, and a Canadian white man. That's it.

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What did the Spanish immigrant say? Olah.

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What's under the first mate? The second mate.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Chris Hanson with To Catch A Predator.

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Steve Jobs didn't die. He went to go set up iCLOUD.

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Why would Jesse Ziegenbein and Terran Hansen make a good couple? Because they both smell like shit and are fat as hell

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Ted Haggard.

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verry nice how mUCH?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a Jewish girl that lay on the other side.

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What's Black, White, and Red all over? A Cow in a giant blender...

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What did the penguin say to the other penguin? Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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What's brown and sits in the woods? Winnie's poo

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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?. I dont know either it was dark.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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