You know you're drunk when you've spend a significant amount of time consuming alcohol.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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jim davidson , nick griffin , and bernard manning walk into a bar , and order a bitter, a lager, and a stout respectfully

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What do you call a man who interru- SHUT UP!

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What would you call the Flinstones if they were black? Niggas

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What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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How do you get your dog to stop peeing on the floor? SHOOT IT!!!

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Why did Emily sit in a lonely corner? Because she just wanted to okay!

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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what do u call blue fluff? blue fluff

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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When I meet the woman of my dreams, she wont know what hit her... Nor will the police.

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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Q: What has four eyes but can't see? A: A blind guy with glasses

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Whats the difference between a cobra and the hulk? One is my penis and the other one is a cobra.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your physician, you're going to die.

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I may have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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A man walks up to a dead baby. The baby is dead

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? The Holocaust.

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What Do you call two black guys on a bike? A two person bike

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Why could'nt the boy eat peanuts? Because if he did he would proceed to have an allergic reaction, his throat would swell up, he would go into analeptic shock and die.

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Q:Why did the chicken cross the road A:He didn't he was tortured then killed and turned into a sandwich that you can buy for the price of $1.00

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A black man and a Mexican were in a car. Who was driving? The cop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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