Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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What is holocaust victim's favorite food? Hamburgers.

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How do you kill and red head? Throw your mom at them!

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What's the same between grapes and squirrels? They're both purple, except for the squirrel.

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I hate it when I get an erection and it pushes Pluto out of orbit.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 murdered her little sister

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Person One: Knock Knock Person Two: Whos there? Person One: You can see its obviously me because theres not really a door there.

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'Why the long face?' The horse replies 'I've got AIDS.'

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So does Blake

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Penis

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How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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Roses are red Violets are blue There are other flowers in the world But you wouldn't know it from this poem.

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If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!

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This guy gets on a plane and leaves he takes a bite of a green Apple and says to sower then he takes a bite out of a red Apple and says to sweet so he takes a bite of a gernade and says to crunchy so the plane lands and he walks past a little boy crying and says little boy why are you crying because a green Apple came down and hit my dog in the head so he's walking along and sees a nether boy crying and says little boy why are you crying cause a red Apple came down and hit me on the head so he's walking along abd sees a little girl laughing little girl he says why are you laughing cause I farted and the building be hind me bluw up lol ????

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? It was my car.

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Dear mom, I'm wearing skinny jeans. If I can't get them off, Neither can the rapist.

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What's fat and round and has a ballsack nose? Mr Chicken

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Fine, start by proving to me that you can be a reasonable human being, and I will meet you myself, I have too many of those that rely on my guidance and protection in order for me to send myself off to some suicide mission. Say, are you familiar with the Antony Stark method?

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What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Hello

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Roses are gray, violets are gray, everything's gray, bitch im a dog.

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I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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