Q: What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? A: "E"

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? A tragic drowning victim. And later, food for sharks, probably.

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If at first you don’t succeed, you clearly weren’t the right person for the job. We’re sorry, but we’re going to have to let you go; please collect your belongings and vacate the premises immediately.

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Why did robin get in the batmobile? Batman told him to

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NO! Nero created the MULTIVERSE During the sixth day... And on the seventh... He did not get any sleep or rest either...¨ SO THE GREAT EXPLOSION OF ENDORPHIN'S WAS CREATED AND IT WAS GOOD! Moral:"Seriously, get lost, only the trio of the Gods Me,Myself, and I, are worthy of this tribulation!

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whats small and tickles? pubic lice

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Art.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset? Neither did she.

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A muslim walks pass a bomb shop on his way to the international peace club.

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I hate it when I try to put my gun on safety but I accidentally shoot u a school full of kid.

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Why did Tommy cry? His tear glands emptied out of his eyes

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Why did the zuccini fly? I was in an acid trip.

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Your mommas so fat that she may die.

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What did the chubby, dirty, hobo get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

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a tiger swims into the indian ocen and eats a tuna. the tiger shortly dies

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish.

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A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

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How do you become a multi-trilionere? Get bored...

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What is brown and lives in a toilet? A black homeless man

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whats worse than ten dead babies in one trashcan? one dead baby in ten trashcans

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Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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