Why did you cross the road. You didn't your looking at this joke

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Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

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Your mother is so fat, she is dying due to obesity and it would be utterly disgusting to make fun of anyone in that situation.

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Brown Bear, Brown Bear what do you see? I see some poachers looking at that tiger over there.

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Q: Why didn't the little boy get his bike for christmas? A: He died from cancer

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Nero, I can barely stay awake, can we chat more later today though? I would really enjoy that, and sleep before that.

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what is chuck norris's favorite food? lasagna.

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are you from tennesse? cuase you sure look like a f u c k e d up redneck

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A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

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What's brown and sticky? a stick

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How Do You Get Your Mom To Shut up? You Kill Her.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Banana! Banana who? Knock knock! Who's there? Banana! Banana who? Knock knock! Who's there? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't stab you 17 times in the kidney?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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The white supremisist woman with anxiety dialed the suicied help hot line. The operator that answered was clearly African-American. She then hung up the phone and continued to call back and try again.

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What's Donald Trump's favorite color? Green.

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What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

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What's the difference between my car and a pile of dead babies? You can't eat my car.

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What's blck and blue and doesn't like sex? The ten year old in my car.

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Steve is an average man. He has a good life, is married and has 2 kids. So why did he have his dog put down? Because it was hit by a car and had 21 broken bones and was in severe pain. Steve thought putting it down was the best thing to do.

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Knock knock. Who's there? George Washington. George Washington who? George Washington Carver.

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A man walks into a bar, ouch!

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Why did the blond get fired from the M&M factory? Repeated absences and stealing.

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Your mom is so fat that when she dives into a pool she displaces a proportionately larger volume of water than people with less body mass.

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What should you do when you're constipated? Poop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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