How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

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Why did the ckicken cross the road? to kiss my ass

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What is the meaning of life? Definitions of life on the Web: a characteristic state or mode of living; "social life"; "city life"; "real life" the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities; "he could no longer cope with the complexities of life" the course of existence of an individual; the actions and events that occur in living; "he hoped for a new life in Australia"; "he wanted to live his own life without interference from others" animation: the condition of living or the state of being alive; "while there's life there's hope"; "life depends on many chemical and physical processes" the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death); "the battery had a short life"; "he lived a long and happy life" the period between birth and the present time; "I have known him all his life" the period from the present until death; "he appointed himself emperor for life" a living person; "his heroism saved a life" liveliness: animation and energy in action or expression; "it was a heavy play and the actors tried in vain to give life to it" living things collectively; "the oceans are teeming with life" the organic phenomenon that distinguishes living organisms from nonliving ones; "there is no life on the moon" biography: an account of the series of events making up a person's life a motive for living; "pottery was his life"

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Poop.

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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People talk about how there grandparents was in the holocaust well my grandpa was to he died. How he fell off the guard tower.

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Two aspies don't walk into a bar.

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Womens Rights. Excist in nearly every country on Earth today.

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A man farted. Another man walked away.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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What does 1 black person on the moon mean? A problem. What do 2 black people on the moon mean? A problem. What does every black person on the world on the moon mean? It's still a problem.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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They see me rollin' Up my sleeve for some volunteer work at the local shelter

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What do dogs call gaseous exchange? Woof!!

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"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

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What starts with "F" and ends in "uck" Firetruck.

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Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To return to its nest.

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Why did the boy have a tumor? Because he had cancer.

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i have two hands.

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Did you hear about the Blonde who fell off a cliff You Have? Oh Ok, Have a nice day

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What did the jacket say to the girl? Zip me up wait why am I talking

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Despite their parents wishes, two teenagers under the age of 18 tried multiplying. Their answer was 27.

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A Mexican walks into a club.

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Q: What is the difference between Jimmy and a kite A: Jimmy is higher MR

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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