Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Clouds are white. Thank God I am too.

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Ever hear the joke about the black guy going to jail its not a joke.

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Why was the man afraid of the pack of wolves? The man was blind and heard his stomach growling even though he had just eaten two buckets of KFC.

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Two men and a woman walk into a bar. They are all viciously murdered by a serial killer, who as he walks out, runs into a pole and suffers from a concussion, which he later dies from.

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A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?” The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man says, “All right, all right. I’m *dying* to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?” The monks reply, “You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.” The man sets about his task. Forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, “I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.” The monks reply, “Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.” The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, “The sound is right behind that door.” The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, “Real funny. May I have the key?” The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst. Finally, the monks say, “This is the last key to the last door.” The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound. But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk...

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What is this, a center for ants? No, this is a model of the building proportionally smaller than the one we will be building.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bunk bed? A bunk bed is stable and can support two children.

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What happens when a toad is struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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Do you know any good bird jokes? Well this is hawkward...

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A cow walks into a bar and says, "moo."

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot you racist S.O.B.

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Why could't Jerry go to school on the Wednesday? Because he died on the Monday.

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if you fall, I'll be there. -floor

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a woman

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Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9 8 7

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Why did the baby stop crying? I hit him with a brick.

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A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

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What is up, the color blue and has a face? the sky. there is no face.

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Cows make a world go round and round They also live in the town town town They make a funny sound sound sound MOO MOO MOO MOO MOO Where do cows go on saturdays? The MOOvies I am Cow Hear me MOO I weigh 10 times more than you! Why are cows black and white? Cause they dont want to be racist

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Q: What did the priest say to the rabbi? A: Our God is a wonderful, loving god; praise his name.

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Why did Sally cry at the wedding? somebody shot her future husband.

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Q.How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb A.Babies are to young to screw in lightbulbs

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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