How do you make a clown cry? You hit them with an axe

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What's greenish blue, smelly, and mushy? The fungus under my sink.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a wolf that eventually killed and ate it.

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Why did Billy fall off the tree? Why? Because he had no arms or legs. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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http://adf.ly/C8MqG

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A black man walked out a window of a 20 story building a detective arives at the scene it was night time and he said wheres the body.

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A man walks into a bar with an MP5 and proceeds to fire thirteen bullets into a crowd of people, several unarmed bystanders attempt to disarm the gunman but they are promptly ordered to stay back or they too would be fired on, a witness reports gunfire coming from down the street to local emergency services and they arrive quickly, organising a perimeter around the bar, county sherriffs decide it would be safest to wait for a swat team, as reports indicated the gunman may have hostages, however the gunfire appears to have ceased an noone has entered or exited the building since police arrived on scene. As SWAT arrives on scene and media helicopters circle above, a person emerges from the bar and the gunman appears behind him, he shoots and kills the hostage and then turns the gun on himself, the death toll reached sixteen including the gunman and as many as fourteen people were injured. there was no clear motive to the massacre, but a search of his appartment indicated he was tired of one-liners on typical joke sites and felt his wife's betrayal with his best friend was too much to bare and he simply snapped after losing his job in the current economic situation.

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96

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I have a phone, Don't know where it's at, Forever Alone FAPFAPFAP

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What's the deal with airline food? Food tastes different on an airplane. The atmosphere dries out your nose, the air pressure numbs 1/3 of your taste buds, and low humidity levels give you cotton mouth. These factors cause the food to taste worse than it normally would.

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Why did the monkey fall off? It had no more lives. Why did the second monkey fall off? I dunno. Why did the third monkey fall off? Since the second was unknown, the third does not exist. Why did the little girl died? It's pretty obvious.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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Where does a jew with ADD go ? A concentration camp

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A Jew man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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A: What did the Orange say to the Mango? B: Sup Hommie?! A: Wtf.... (awkwardly walks away)

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what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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Roses are red They can be white too Violets are not blue They are violet

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Which is the rarest animal in the North pole? The Polaroid.

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Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk! Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

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Yo mama is so old, that it's becoming apparent that she is most likely developing severe senial dementia

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Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Neither did she.

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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What'd the mexican get for his birthday, birthday cards from his friends and family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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