Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvatore Dali mistook them for clocks.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

how did the bling man cross the street? He didn't half way there he tripped and got ran over by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Just gonna stand there and watch me roar. But that's alright because I am a dinosaur.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the baby bird fall out of the nest? while the mother bird was away a cat knocked over the nest. needless to say the baby bird died.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Looks through the peephole.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the boys uncle stop calling him? His uncle died of cancer 3 months ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So I was eating pancakes in my driveway...or were they waffles?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Robin, get in the batmobile

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples how many pankackes can fit on the roof? Purple because alians do not wear hats./

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He was killed in action and his family misses him terribly.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Going out for a quiet one, having a drink or two, and returning home.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

There are 3 types of people in this world, those who can count to potato and those who can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Its simple, if people do not have the willpower to follow their own desires, their own wishes, they do not deserve to. I have no desire to resurrect what is doomed to fail again and again, that is idealism, of course we would all have liked our own little society where people are encouraged to accept who they are and respect their own kin, regardless of race, culture and so on. But we did our best, we gave our teen years, and what did we end up with? If you think I have given up, you are right, I will help you do your thing however, but I will not stand beside you when the tide turns, had I joined you, we would all have been killed or imprisoned at best, all while "The Wizard" would have gone free maybe even with money and a medal.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man sits down to dinner with his wife And she notifies him that their 8 year old son just died

thumb_up thumb_down -45

What did the blonde do when she reached the traffic lights? She stopped, as the lights were red.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

This is not a joke

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Alzheimer's ... Roses are Red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's (continues)

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why could the red-haired boy sing higher notes than the blonde-haired boy? He was castrated at birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if your father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah...

thumb_up thumb_down

go up to some one and say "i told you it would happen" with a straight face and walk away. it should cause a LOT of confusion.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops