What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

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how fast does it take to kill a blonde? Give me a gun and i will find out

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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Why did the maid have to clean feces off the wall? Because I shit cannoned it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem is wrong As violets are violet

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what do you get when you have unprotected sex with a hooker? an orgasm

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why was the boy sleeping in the basement? he was brought over from ethiopia to become a child sex slave and was now being help against his will in a basement

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What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

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._____________________. Whale!

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What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

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Yo momma so ugly, she couldn't fulfill her dream of being a model.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Presents.

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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My mom caught me masturbating.

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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CAUSE IT'S ONE, TWO, THREE STRIKES YOU'RE OUT

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What did the sheep say to the Commonwealth Committee on September 11 2001? Baabaaabaaaahhh

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kk

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A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

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Roses are flowers.

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a

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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What did the Dragonfly say to the Mosquito? Nothing. He ate it.

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A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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