I've never seen your mother, so I won't make any vile suggestions concerning her weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

69

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Twelve men walk into a bar, and get stuck in the door because it's far too small for all of them to walk through at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats black, white, and read/red all over? What? Michael Jackson after his surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A frog hops into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get you to drink?". The frog hops out and the bartender realizes he is talking to animals because he has anxiety issues and all of his friends leave him and he spends every night crying and waiting to be loved...so he shoots himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse than a pile of dead babies A live one eating its way out!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the opposite of Them Cox? Deez Nuts

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Sometimes Jamie wishes he could be a different person. He wishes he didnt have to eat dick everynight but it was all to late. He had to take it down the throat but he enjoyed the tickle it gave him

thumb_up thumb_down -3

theres a fork in a drawer half way open and a knife in a cup on the counter. how does the knife get into the drawer, it cant knife are incapable of moving

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

thumb_up thumb_down +14,746

Two fish are swimming and hit a concrete wall...dam

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? No. Yeah, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A black car pulls up early in the morning and slows down by your house You see him pull a mysterious object out of his car and point it at you, The paper boy tosses a newspaper at you

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? --probably just one, unless cerebral palsy runs in her blood, therefore her aid would assist her.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how do you punish helen keller? leave the plunger in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What do you call black guys running down a hill? A: Black guys running down a hill.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yo momma so fat that when she sat on the bible jesus poped out.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Boy: what to hear a joke? girl: sure. Boy: woman rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair because he had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops