How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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what do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question ................

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense Microwave

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Q: what do you call someone on Anti Jokes A: Someone with no friends trying to find a funny joke to make friends.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

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What did batman say to the Joker? I'm Batman

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Why do black people eat watermelon? Because it is a largely water-based, delicious fruit that provides refreshment in such a hot country and conveniently flourishes in the said climate.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? It isn't numbers are not sentiment objects therefore incapable of feeling fear

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Do you want icecream, Björn?

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An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

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Worms don't like apples.

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what do you get when you cross a baby and a car a baby shaped dent, and a dead baby

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whats does a dog cat spider and rat have in common?the dog cat and rat are all mammals.Exept for the rat idiot!!you should have figured THAT out before!!!

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A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

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You can throw a horse a Frisbee but you can't make him catch it

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Guess what. Chicken butt.

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What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

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Once upon a time, there was a potato named Ollie. Ollie was confused, because potatoes shouldn't have brains. One day, Ollie fell madly in love with a refridgerator named Bob. Chick-Fil-A killed both of them for being homosexuals. Chick-Fil-A then ate some Oreoes. The end.

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Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

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What did the zombie eat for breakfast? You. You fell a-sleep

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Why do you walk to your bed at night? Beds cant walk.

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Why didn't the blonde go to the party? Her depression finally got the best of her and she shot herself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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