EVOLUTION OF MODERN SAYINGS 1 The Samurai: If at first you don't succeed, kill yourself. The British: If at first you don't succeed, give up The Americans: If at first you don't succeed, sue someone, then try again in hopes of a larger payout next time

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Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other: "Hey are you worried about this Mad Cow Disease?? the other cow says "Nah, not at all mate...!" "Why Not?" says the cow "Because I'm a CHICKEN!"

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A cow and a whale are swimming in the sea when they both realize this is Vietnam and they were really chimps

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8 muslims walk into a bar You know why. Because their suicidal bombing plans were put off until Tuesday

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- knock knock. ... - knock knock. ... - heey! ... (There is nobody at home.)

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite TV show? She doesn't have one - She is blind and deaf.

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What do you call an awesome school? St Heinrich's Law School (Teaching you to break the laws!)

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guest who else is a ugly bitch my mom

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Where did little Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere

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A man finds a lamp on the beach so decides to rub it. Nothing happens.

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The holocaust

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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A Muslim walks into a bar. No-one survived the blast.

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Your mom is so fat she could consider going on biggest loser, where she might be able to make a lot of money.

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Why couldn't the baby walk through the door? Babies can't walk

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Michael Jackson will always be remembered for touching...the hearts of many.

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Robert had 30 cheeseburgers and he ate 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes.

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a log? I think the better question is why are you mixing those two things together?

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because your a fag.

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go go gadget

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Why'd The Chicken Cross The Road? He Crossed The Road To Stand In An Icecream Line , Where A Little Boy Stood Infront Of Him, The Chicken Was Scared To Cross The Road Again To Get To The Other Side Because He Saw The Little Boy Get Hit By A Bus. So The Chicken Decided The Best Thing To Do Was To Sit Under A Tree , Where A Big White Thing Fell On Him , It Was A Fridge, Once The Fridge Hit The Ground Mexicans Ran Out And Then Explained To There Local Chickens What Crossing The Street Can Cause Them. To Be Dead. Moral: Dont Let A Chicken Cross The Road. :)

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What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

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if life gives u lemons....chuck them back and say u wanted muffins instead!!!!!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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