What did the duck say when it saw a puddle? Nothing.Ducks are uncapable of speaking human speech.

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What color was the black guy's skin? Brown

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 new what 6 and 9 were doing.....

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how do you kill a baby? introduce it to alice cooper

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cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

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How do you know if an elephant has been in your fridge? If it is laying in pieces around the crumbled wreckage of your house. [L]

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What did the elephant say to the other elephant? We're both elephants!

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Why don't you want to shout "Hi" to your friend Jack on an airplane? Because he's deaf and will not hear you.

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Knock, Knock... Who's there? Your mother and I are getting a divorce.

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What do you get when you cross Arsene Wenger with Darth Vader? Arsene Vader

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Sally had no arms. Knock knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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Knock knock Who's There..... Guess who's coming Who's coming Me inside you !

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Q: a blonde, a brunette, and redhead jump off a cliff, which one hits the ground first? A: Most likely the one that weighs more

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AYE DEAD ON CAOIMHIN

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How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

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Always bring food to the zoo. It's not the animals who placed the signs not to feed them.

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Why was the boy walking in circles? One of his feet was nailed to the floor...

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How much booze did the homeless man drink? All of it. He is severely depressed.

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how do you rube out a circle? don't draw one

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What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Get it repaired.

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You know who can't stand to put up with my shit? Polio victims.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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