How do you get money out of a Jew? You convince him your cause is worthwhile.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS.

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what is sam ross' favorite word to use in conversation? awesam

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why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

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What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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what do you call a bunch of black people in a pool cocoa puffs

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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In Soviet Russia it's pretty cold.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the government, your home is being repossessed.

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This week only, 2 for 1 misdemeanor shop lifting arrest. How can I do it? Because I can.

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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What do you call a duck In Africa ? Screwed

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Where did Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he was an escaped mental paitent

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whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

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A Irish leaves and bump in to a really tall the Irish sorry boss

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What's the difference between an ant and a dinosaur? They are both birds, apart from the ant and the dinosaur

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

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Knock Knock! Who's There! That's right! And now for our next song: "Magic Bus!" One TwoThree Four.....

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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Whats black, white, and read all over? Micheal Jackson reading a book while painting himself red.

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what's brown and sticky? a turd.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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