How did the black man get into college? A mop.

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What's the deal with airplane food? Why don't they serve it as a complimentary part of the flight anymore?

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There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

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what do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

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Knock Knock. -Who's there ? It's me. -Come in.

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Jerry: Hi what's your name? Bob: My name is bob. Jerry: Bob, nice to meet you, my name is Jerry. Bob: Nice to meet you Jerry.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A terrorist.

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Whats worse than suicide? death

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no u

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feminists.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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a boy with asperges asked me a question today he asked me again and again because he has asperges

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Whats pink and looked like an angry bulldog? Your moms vagina last night

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Chinese food tastes so oriental sometimes, sort of like asian food

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Did y'all see Lafell catch that pass? Neither did I

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whats worse then being married to your dog eating your dog out

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Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

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I couldn't afford a hair cut... So i contracted cancer.

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Why was the orphan crying? Because his parents are dead.

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Why didn't the [any object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. Why didn't the [other object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. [repeat ad infinitum]

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old mcdonald had a farm had..... he now lives in the city

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Why don`t women need watches? Because in our modern society, there are many clocks in most locations.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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