roses are red yoda is green my lightsaber needs 2 hands if you know what i mean

A baby seal walks into a club.

NASCAR being considered a sport.

What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

what do you call a fish with no gills? Dead

what is black and white and read all over? a bankrupt newspaper that cannot afford color ink because the accountant misplaced company funds.

What is green and is a dub dub. A green dub dub.

Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

BRANDON LUI ROCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Q: Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: Because he was hit by a bus, and then was raped violently. He is currently undergoing psychotherapy.

Why did the Chicken cross the road? The light was red, which prompted the chicken to cross safely.

What do you call a woman in a kitchen ? There rightful place.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

Women's rights

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

whats brown and smells like shit shit

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

What did the white guy say to the Mexican guy? Nothing he realize that the Mexican guy probably didn't speak English and he couldn't speak Spanish so conversing with this man would have been pointless.

A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

Guy 1: Hey look under there Guy 2: Under what inanimate object that is physically visible and made up of atoms

I just pooped in my boyfriends mouth. He ate it. Ps. I am a boy

Q: what's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon A: well the first noticable difference is that the watermelon tastes better.

Why did the Alzheimer's patient fail the history exam? I don't remember.....

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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