How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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Did you fall from heaven? Because you look like Satan.

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kieran is a homosexual

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How to you kill two birds with one stone? You use a precision hunting rifle to mortally wound two flying birds, then put them on a platform and break their skulls with one rock. Separately.

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How do you fit 6000000 jews into a car? 1 in the front, 1 in the back and the rest in the ashtray.

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Whats the difference between a white guy and a black guy? They have different colors of skin.

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What's the different between a white guy and a black guy? The white guy makes his money, and the black guy steels the white guys money.

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What did michael say to sam? (pedo face) YEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why do black people have white hands? Palms and soles are not in direct sunlight, and therefore less amounts of melanin are produced in those regions.

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Sally went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. She was exhausted and died of dehydration at the top.

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My brownie is so warm and squishy. You know what else is warm and squishy? Freshly killed babyies

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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What happens when some one breaks apart your little brother's lego tower? You have a screaming little brother and a bunch of legos all over the floor.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust No, the Holocaust never even happened, you're an idiot.

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Q: What's black, blue, and dead? A: My wife after our fight last night.

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Why did the chicken get taken into the kitchen? If u dont get this you need to go b ack to school

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Ding Dong! Who's the - - - wait - - - I don't have a doorbell.

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Your momma so fat she's fat

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What did the doctor say to his patient? Doctors are not allowed to give out personal information involving their patients.

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What do you call a black man? A person

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Did nims chinnie? Fins.

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Q: How do you solve a problem like Maria. A: You kill her. You kill Maria.

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How do you kill a blond? Shoot her in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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