What did one terrorist say to another? You first.

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Why is cheese yellow? Answer: I don't know, I was hoping that you would know.

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Q:Waht did the blind deaf kid get for chrismas? A: Cancer

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There was a jew, a german and you Despite you were there, the holocaust was You should feel guilty

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What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

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Jimmy was skipping in the park one day when a young boy stopped him. "Hello there, would you like to be friends? We can go behind the old oak tree and play soccer!" asked the boy. "Ok!" replied Jimmy, and they went off together to play. The so-called 'young boy' was actually a wanted midget rapist. Jimmy was brutally raped and filmed. The film was later uploaded onto the internet where it blew up in a matter of weeks. Jimmy had to move schools 6 times and had to go to counselling every week. He finds it hard making friends and later went on to become a heavy cocaine addict.

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a black man and his girlfriend are in a car, who is driving? the cop

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead..

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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What did James say when he couldn't find his car? "My name's James".

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Jamie Oliver eats a chip

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse answers, "Because I'm an alcoholic."

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Subject A: Knock Knock! Subject B: *silence* Subsequently, Subject A dejectedly walks home and hangs himself.

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What is the biggest lie in the universe? I love you.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third seeing the protruding bar goes home to find his entire family dead from anthrax.

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Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave.

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How do prevent a black man from robbing your house? Lock you doors and perhaps get an up-to-date security system.

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Q:What did the frog say to the mailman? A:Nothing theres no mail on Sunday's.

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There was a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Gay Man on a plane. The plane was going down. The Priest said "amen". The Rabbi said "amein". The Gay Man put his penis in the rabbi's asshole.

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What's black,white, and red all over? Nothing, because if it is completely covered in red then it can only be red.

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Q: What did the homeless man get on his Birthday? A: Hypothermia.

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A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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lyren is a big meanyhead

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After waking up at the break of dawn, a man saw his dogs food dish was empty. In slight excitement for his dog to finally eat after his dish being empty all night, he called his dog in from outside, expecting him to go straight to his food dish like always. The dog walked by without noticing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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