Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial Muscles.

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How do you mess with Hellen Keller? Re-arrange her furniture.

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What's the name of Hellen keller's dog? She doesn't have a dog, she's blind and deaf and would not be able to give it the adequate amount of care. Additionally, it's morally reprehensible to make fun of Helen Keller.

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Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

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What would the world be like without 1 direction it would still be the world but just without 1 direction

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? .... a broken head.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returns and says, "My friend does not have a pulse, so I stand by my prior assumption that he is dead."

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whats worse than your little sster being raped? her being raped by your father.

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Women are only good for seventy-one things: Love A proper home to come home to everyday 69

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I am a mime

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Is that a baby in your carriage or are you just happ..... WTF. WHERES ITS EYES!? **purges**

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Paul walks on a bridge. It collapses.

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Yo momma so ugly, she couldn't fulfill her dream of being a model.

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Where do pimps go when they retire? Idaho.

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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your moms tits are so big she may have breast cancer she may have breast cancer which takes approximitely 300,000 lives per year

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I learned a new party trick over the weekend; I swallow a piece of string and it comes out my other end tied! I shit you knot.

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Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family

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hi

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But officer, I did come to a full stop!

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What's the best part of a family reunion? The sodomy.

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How many Jews did Hitler kill during the Holocaust? Too many.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops