What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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What do u call a man who is smart. A lawyer/ genius/ smart man

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Why was the black guy charged for murder? He killed his wife.

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What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

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Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

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Why do black people have white hands? Palms and soles are not in direct sunlight, and therefore less amounts of melanin are produced in those regions.

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why did the koala fall out of the tree? because it was dead

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I needed to write an article about heart disease so I did some research. I learned a lot.

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Two muffins are put in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "is it just me or is it getting hot in here?". The other muffin says,"HOLY CRAP!!!!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!".

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My brother found a worm in his apple. I dared him to eat it, so he did. When he tried to swallow, the mashed up worm congealed in his throat, killing him. Later, I found out that the worm had poisonous rectum fluids. I was given the Nobel Peace prize.

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Why did the turkey cross the road? His friend, the chicken, had just been hit by a passing car.

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Why was it raining lobsters? Because they ran out of men. Why did the basketball player miss the net? Because he was hit by a lobster

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Is your refridgerator running? because if its not, you should probably have it looked at by a repair man,

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How do giant spiders like to spend their weekends? Eating Orphans.

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What is the difference between a pig and a crow? One is a animal that Is butchered to be eaten as a wonderful meat product. And the other is a pretentious asshole bird that no one likes.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cock in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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look in the sky! its a bird, its a plane........ Its Miles

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What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

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Your dad walked into a bar. It was a gay bar.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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what do you call a tall skiny kid with a very big ego autistic

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If Billy has 4 apples in his left hand and 6 apples in his right hand, what does he have? Very large hands.

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It was a boys birthday, his mom died of cancer, his dad of aids, and all of his siblings were put in a gas chamber. Happy Birthday

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Knock knock Who's there? Me. Idiot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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