someone had sex with Justin bieber end result Justin went into labor

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

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What's ugly and has shit smeared over its teeth? Smelly McD (He also wears bin bag clothes)

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Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

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Yo mama so stupid she was trying to put her M&M's in alphabetical order

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Why did the black guy fell from the stairs? Because I threw him

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Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

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A Mexican, and Arab and an American are on a plane. The the plane is going down. It hits a mountain and crashes. But there was also a lot of other people on the plane. Families, children, loved ones. It was huge a disaster.

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What's the difference between Nelly and Common? One of them is an artist and one of them is a businessman.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You kill him with an axe

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whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

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Why did the man give money to a drug dealer? He lost a bet.

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Q: Why was the cook put in jail. A: He has killed 2 people and robbed several stores

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When life hands you lemons, Squeeze them in the eyes of children

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Why did the man dig his nose? because everyone digs their nose

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Why did the man die? Because he was unpopular and someone killed him with a gun. He is now dead. RIP.

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C.U.M. on guys, gay jokes arent funny

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

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What did the one bagpiper say to the other? Nothing, one cannot speak while playing the bagpipes.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven raped and murdered his family.

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wnba

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor

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One day... Jack: Good morning Ben: Good morning The End.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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