Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house, she feels bad about herself but is too embarrassed to get a gym membership and work-out in public.

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"What starts with F and ends with a K?" "firetruck?" "no, f u c k"

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Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Everyone on board died.

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Why didn't the boy have any pockets on? He didn't have any pants on

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Did you hear about that superman guy? He died.

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Why is the spine-tailed swift is the fastest bird? Because its faster than the second fastest bird

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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Humans are pathetic: What kind of heaven is it when you die, and learn that everybody you love chose the wrong religion and is burning in hell? Moral: Human garbage!

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What is 2+2? 4!

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"I never want to see you again!" shouted Stevie Wonder to the genie in the bottle, as a young boy.

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What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

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Q: If you're driving down the street in your canoe and the wheels fall of, how many pancakes does it take to shingle your dog's garage? A: 27, because bananas have no bones.

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Ask me if I want an orange. Do you want an orange? No.

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How many wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb? - They are not physically capable

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there once was a man named china who got stuck in yo mamas vagina he escaped through her butthole minus her butt mole and then died a horrible and painful death

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Crime doesn't pay. Sure it does

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What is is one good thing about global Waming? Nothing.

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boner

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If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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A man walked into a bar. Too bad he didn't see it.The man was sent to the hospital 2 hours later when a friendly elderly lady found him badly wounded on the ground.

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Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

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Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

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Why did the young boy cross the road? because his dad beats him due to alcoholism and his mother is a crack whore.

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i cant STAND cripple jokes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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