Q. why did I get hurt A. My pants fell off

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Three monkeys are sitting in a tree. Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? -He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -Peer pressure.

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An Italian, a Mexican, and an American are eating lunch on a bridge. The Mexican drops his taco off the side of the bridge and the Italian and American were kind enough to share some of their lunch with the Mexican making it a successful picnic. Their ethnicity was not relevent at all.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because blind people aren't allowed to drive in the United States.

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A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

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Q: how do you fit 100 jews in a car A: 3 in the back one in the passenger seat and 96 in the ash tray

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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A man walks into a bar. Now he needs stitches on his forehead because he was walking pretty fast

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A tiger walks into bar. He orders a drink and leaves. The tiger's name was Tony the tiger," It was just a man wearing a costume for the cereal company.

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What did the egg say to the cup? I love your hairdo! Girl, who is your stylist?

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Why did the TV not turn off? You need to use a remote.

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Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

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Nobody likes you ya noob! (-_-) *sniff* MAN YOU SMELL BAD

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im dylan, i wank over teabaging people on cod

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roses are red violets are microwaves i have amnesia what ma name iiizzz 'SHAWTAY

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If I was trapped in a closet with you and a bear, and I only had two bullets, I would shoot you twice!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to its dying chicks who were just run over.

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Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

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What's the difference between erotica and kink? Erotica involves simple arousal; kink usually has an added element of masochism.

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A Irish man walks our of a bar

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Chuck Norris was dropped twice when he was a baby, once on concrete and once on hardwood

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There was a deaf guy who heard a mute guy tell someone that a blind guy saw a guy with no legs win the marathon

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a man walked into a bar because he needed a part time job to support his family.

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What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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