If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Well, that depends if the apocalypse was happening and if there were even any Americans left at all.

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Q: What happened when Timmy divided by zero? A: He got a syntax error.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Boo." "I don't know anyone by that name. Please go away."

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? There are more birds on that side

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Q: Imagine you are driving a boat, but the wheel falls off. So how many pancakes can you fit in that box? A: None, because the oranges couldn't talk!

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A middle-class family went away on vacation. While they were gone, a pyromaniac burnt down their house. Their cat was still inside.

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What did the Groom give to his Bride on their honeymoon? Herpes.

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what did the girl said to the stalker? i dont know cuz if i did, i would be a stalker

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Why couldn't the mexican feed his family? Because a large percent of mexican immigrants in the United States do not have jobs due to dicrimination against illegal immigrants crossing the soutern border, thus rendering them more vunerable to unemployment is that is vastly present in the United States.

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What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? " I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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Whats worse than tripping? Getting shot

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You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

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What's faker than Nicki Minaj's tits? Women rights.

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Why did Obama win the president election He had a greater amount of votes that Jonh mccain

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Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

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Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

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If I was a backstabber, you would have been dead already, without me having anything to do with it in the first place, listen, we cannot change the world, those that control the media, control the world. And our role was the opposite, we wanted people to find their individual selves and put their talents for use for themselves and us, today the media tells people who they are, what they like, and what to eat and wear. None of us can do this, point zero is gone, its simply a matter of time, but if you want to try, I can do what I can, in hopes of delaying the inevitable.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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Why was the deaf boy crying at Christmas? He got an iPod.

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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Brett Favre sent me a pic of his penis. I then compared it to my own and felt good about my general ackage size

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Why did the pineapple cry? It didn't, because it's a pineapple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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