Roses are red, Violets are blue, I forgot the rest, Don't laugh at me...

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Billy: You're so ugly you made an onion cry! Jack: I'm rubber and you are glue, whatever you say bounces back and sticks to you. Billy was so upset at what he said and decided to leave.

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A: We're eating you for breakfast today. B: Thank you, I'll have my arm.

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Dear crush, I want to drink you

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whats worse than bitting into ur apple and finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just murded noddy and his family who were making a nice little home in there

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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knock knock whos there the game _______I LOST THE GAME_______

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Haikus are easy Im happy when I write them Thats pretty much it

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God and Allah are having a metaphysical picnic, God says to his fellow deity: "Why do you think so many humans have been killed in our names?" Allah muses upon this for a moment and replies: "Because they think we exist."

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What do you get when you cross a pelican with a mountain goat? It's hard to say.

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A dog walked into the forest and saw a whale in a puddle

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you know whats worse then losing your banjo? finding a spleen in it's place

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What did the bartender say to the upset horse? GET OUT OF MY BAR!!!

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Why did the fireman go to the police station? He didn't go to the police station, he went to the fire station.

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What did Chuck Testa do when he saw she had died of a heart attack? He cried and gave her a proper funeral and burial.

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Toaster

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I have two coins in my hand that add up to 30 cents, and one of them is not a nickel. I accidentally dropped them.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. This poem sucks. I like math!

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What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

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Why did the all the fish in the lake die? A pesticide bioaccumulated through the food chain.

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Why did the mean have to clean up the mass amount of dead bodies? Because he lost a game of rock-paper-scissors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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