What did the mother give her family for christmas? Nothing. The family is Jewish.

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What became of the girl who drank shellac and died? Her poor father attempted CPR for three hours straight before being forced to give up on his child's life. A massive funeral was held; everyone she ever knew attended. It was a very sad affair.

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Penis

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

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A man walks into a bar, and says "ow."

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I think my son might be gay. He's started to listen to Justin Bieber, and last week I walked in on him engaging in penetrative anal sex with one of his friends.

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What do Bear Grylls drink under breakfast? Tea.

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How did the black man get a car? He bought it.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has psychotic tendencies.

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A Jewish, Italian, and Russian man are stranded on an island. Eventually the Russian man dies from heatstroke, leaving the other two to decide whether or not to feast on his remains. The Italian eventually goes mad and tries to murder the Jewish man who is forced to defend himself and kill his remaining friend. Shortly after, the Jewish man is eventually rescued by a passing German vessel after suffering severe dehydration and malnourishment and hanging on only by his faith in God. As they are leading him to safety, the Jewish man eventually summons the strength to tell his saviors about the horrible things he has done and all he has gone through, not knowing if he'll ever be able to forgive himself. His German rescuers take one awkward look at him, and don't know what to say to help him, leading afterwards to several years of PTSD therapy and rehabilitation.

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a jew, a latino and an aboriginal walk into a bar this is an example of a great inter-racial comunity

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? Billy was a loaf of bread.

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When Life Gives You Melons... You're Probably Dyslexic.

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A dirty joke: The white horse fell in the mud.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I'm sorry I don't know you but I think I might have run over your dog!

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What do you call a Harry Beaver? A beaver with lots of hair.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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Why did the Filipino man get small condoms? Because he's not black.

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What are the black specks in birdshit called? That's birdshit too.

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What's similar between the Alabama Crimson Tide and a maggot? They've both been feeding off of a dead Bear for 30 years...

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U are with a jew a Christian and a muslim, you walk in chicken shop, thw lights close, and all of a sudden, hitler and a vampire pop up. Which one do you kill? The jew.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing finding a worm in an apple is disgusting because worms are disgusting creature that shouldn't live in an apple

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Hello, nice to meet you.

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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