Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Presents.

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A kid is Jackin off and his dad walks in and says if you keep jackin off you will loose your sight. the kid says dad im over here.

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Whats a black and white and red all over? i dont know...who spends their time researching this kind of stuff

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's cheese.

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What's greasier than a baby? A burger

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Who cares its a chicken, it probably got hit by a car. Go to McDonalds and get a chicken sandwich there he is

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Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? I was asking you...

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Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

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A knock knock B who's there A your newborn give me your money or I will hang all your kids

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What's the easiest way to kill a blond? You stab her.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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Why couldn't the boy with no arms and no Legs swim? Because he was black.

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what is the difference between babies and trampolines? you take your shoes off when jumping on a trampoline

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Do you know that car over there? No.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Nope.

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A chicken and a triceratops walk into a bar. They both immediately recognize each other and start trading anti-jokes, of which no one else in the bar understood, for they are animals, and animals cannot speak. Which brings up the question of how the triceratops and the chicken would communicate in any way that was conversely accurate to how humans would make jokes. Also adding in the fact that they are both from different eras of time, and the people wonder why a triceratops is walking around when they are in fact extinct. Turns out, the triceratops was an animatronic that gained sentience and ran off the set of Jurassic Park IV, a movie production that was not yet announced, as Steven Spielberg was still working on other movies that were more important at the time. The chicken flew in here because he heard the bar was close-by to where he worked, so he decided to drop by after a long Friday. The bartender finally walks up and asks the triceratops, "What would you like?" The triceratops then went on a rampage and killed everyone inside because he was an alcoholic and lost his family because of it, since his ex-wife would be worked to the bone trying to raise his 2 children and adopted platypus son David. He lost everything in the divorce. Why was he in a bar then? I don't know, I can't talk to dinosaurs. The chicken then befriended the triceratops, as the chicken was a secret anarchist who sought to bring down all the stores on the street, as his mother was killed there while trying to cross the street. She fell into a manhole. The chicken and the triceratops then traded usernames on League of Legends then played out that Friday teaming up and taking down Evil. How do they play League if they're animals? Because this whole story is made up and you wasted a good 2-3 minutes trying to read this.

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Why did the Olympic gold-medalist lose his faith in God? Because he began to feel that the the reasoning that most religions were based on was fairly spurious.

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little potato when born allicator don't have neck, if u like me it's cause u stole my scooter

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Yo momma is so poor when she went to the bank the teller was like " you have no money."

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What do you call a man in Afghanistan? Either a scuicide bomber a soldier or a tep

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What was Jenna's favourite ice cream flavour? Keyword; was, she's dead now

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A man walks into a bar in the morning. He is the bartender, and he works there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops