Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

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Roses are Brown Violets are Brown Whos been shitting on my garden??

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Why are elephants ears sooo big? The big ears are to help the elephants stay cool. Elephants don't sweat, so they have a hard time dissipating excess heat (keeping cool). Their large ears contain many blood vessels that allow heat to escape into the air. When you see elephants they are usually moving their ears back and forth. This fanning helps to dissipate more heat than if their ears remained still. The enormous ears of elephants act as cooling devices. The gigantic earflaps (which can measure up to 2 square metres (21.5 square feet) are equipped with an intricate web of blood vessels. When the animal flaps its ears, the blood temperature lowers by as much as 5 degrees Celsius (9 degrees Fahrenheit). To keep cool

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What do the Japanese hate more than sitting in traffic? tsunamis.

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Two Lawyers were talking to one another. The first lawyer said, "Wow this is the fourth case I've won in a row!" The other lawyer did not know how to respond because of the men the other lawyer put in jail had escaped from jail and already killed the lawyer's family.

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one day 2 strawberrys walked to the ice cream store and ordered a small cup of banana ice cream they were realley happy they were later taken in and tortured and raped

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here!" The other one says "We're both going to die in here and nobody will hear us scream."

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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whats sad about justin bieber getting hit by a car and dying ? I wasnt driving the car that hit him.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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What's that Lassie? Timmy fell in the well again? And you couldn't care less because the stupid kid never looks where he's going?

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Why did the gay man die? He had AIDS

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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What do you call a Chinese person with a computer for a head? Dead because it is impossible for your heart to function with out a brain

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what do you call a man with blue eyes??? a man with blue eyes

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What do you call 2 black men next to me. 2 Dead Men

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Bean.

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why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

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What do you do when you see an epileptic having a fit in the bath? Take him out of the bath, make sure there is nothing they can hurt themselves on, put something soft under their head and loosen their clothing if it’s constricting their breathing.

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Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

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I put the word **** in a post. Anti Joke starred it and the joke didn't make sense anymore.

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Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to one tree 1 baby nailed to 10

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Why did the...uhh.... Lamp.

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Knock Knock! .... Knock Knock! ... There seems to be nobody at home...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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