Knock Knock. Who`s there? The police, your family were killed in a bakery A German bakery.

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There is a white man, a black guy, and an Asian in a car. It got into an accident who did it? Asian dude

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If John has no nose, what do John's friends call him? John

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What's Gay and has a penis? Justin Bieber, I lied about the penis

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hi im paul ! im an alien :D tyuioyt5rtyuikfuhgdehjdhfghjhgfjjhfjfjdjdjd i pe out of my finger :D

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How do you get down from a horse?? You don't... You get down from a duck.

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What's green and has wheels? Weed. I lied about the wheels.

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Why did litltle Susie drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, well at least they were, until I met you!

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British Dentistry

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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What did the finger say to the thumb? I'm in glove with you.

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Why did the Titanic sink, even though people said it was unsinkable? Grit and determination.

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A man walks into a bar. Itwas an metal bar so the man was hurt.

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

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:y do people talk? ;idk :oh then nevermind

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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Knock Knock Good one...

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Why are large breasts so awesome? Cleavage is sexually attractive to both men and women

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The declaration of Independence was singed in? Pen.

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? Zero, they already stole them all.

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How do you get an annoying baby to shut up? Hit it with a bat

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What do you call a blonde prostitute your bitch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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