What do you call a black man walking home in the dark after a long day at work? His name you racist

Lisa: Omg Karen, just had sex with Ben, his weiner was sooo tiny lol. Ben: I think you sent me the wrong text.

How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

FIRE!!

What do you call a blond reading a book? A blond reading a book.

What do you call a black man standing on top of a church? bullshit!!

Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, you're being audited.

Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

My lady, that is the backside of trust, I have decided to trust you, how am I supposed to feel about the fact that I believe to the point where I know that you mean everything you are saying? And that if you had any interest in backstabbing me, I would be risking my life, wife and friends. Do you not get trust? If you keep thinking like that, tomorrow you could be suspecting the mailman for being a spy, I can, and could tell you that I will cut ties with my employees, but then I would have you not only to believe me, but to support me financially, I do not need much, in fact, I need you to trust me, and if you do not trust me, what does it matter if I quit? You could accuse me for typing books that alter the mind (all books do), you could accuse me of having killed Nero and taken over... The point is, if you cannot trust me, then I cannot help you with what you ask, and if that is a requirement for our friendship to persist, then you are not looking for a friend, but for a employee.

A jew, a black, and a gay are walking together. The black points out a new house.

What's worse than a papercut? Dying

Why did the chicken cross the road? Two Girls One Cup

What is the best thing about dating a slut? You can return her at Build-a-Hoe Workshop.

A child rides by his mother on his bicycle and says "Look Mom, no hands!" The child doesn't come back, and night falls but he has yet to come home. His mother calls the police and a search begins 2 days later. He is never found is presumed dead.

There was this fruit joke, but it had no punchline.

What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

What do you call it when the sh*t hits the fan? The sh*t hits the fan.

why did the plumber start to cry? his family died

What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

What do you get when you mix a fox and a sloth? a..FOTH

Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard Neither did she.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

knock knock. who's there? your neighbor. o hi come one in!

Whats worse than breaking your Xbox? Being raped by your dad.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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