Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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why did the donkey kick the men bc he tryed to pen the tail on hes ass

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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What's red and sticky A DEAD BABY

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What's a Hillbilly's last words? I won't be here much longer, so take care of the kids. I love you.

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Why was the dog hairless? I lied, it was a pig.

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When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

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compardre No Pew.. Pew.. At mi OINK.. OINKs...

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There would not be any me in we, you would have to hijack a media station, you would instantly be branded terrorists, and even if you where not, do you believe that you could have used the media in order to spread individuality, or would you simply have sought to control the masses like the rest? I am not saying that television is wrong, I am saying that as long as there are not enough people willing to think for themselves, and remain loyal to us and themselves, something which we failed at when we where at our greatest peak, then we are all media zombies eventually, and I do not mind, complacency is better than a constant struggle for survival.

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Roses are red violets are orange......... Wait did I do that wrong?

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,All you HATERS of J. Bieber, Go suck your MOTHER.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? Well its wing were clipped so it couldnt fly across the road.

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cool story babe. now go make me a sammich.

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-Whats not funny and has wheels? >What? -The Holocaust... I was lying about the wheels

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A very nervous looking black man walks into a bar full of white people, however, the white people are accepting of all races, so they invite him to sit next to them.

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Yo mamas so stupid that she received slightly below average in her latest maths test

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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carn ehney bodie hellp mie with mine smellings?

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was mmfmffemuuuuuffuummuuuuuluuu.

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Why couldn't the mentally retarded kid hear? It was too dark.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The unfortunate child in a pedophile's basement who the police have yet to find.

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Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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