Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

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Hej Erik och Leo!!

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why did your parents die? because I thought it was funny...

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This guy walks up to the bartender, and says to him, " ill bet you $100 that i can piss in this cup from 20 ft away." The bartender laughs, thinking hes gonna get an easy 100 bucks. he says "ok, u do that and ill watch." the guy says "ok but one second." he then walks over to this table full of guys and the bartender see him and them whispering and shaking heads. then the guys walks back over, and says to the bartender, "ok here i go" then he whips out his wang and starts pissing all over the place,all over the bartender, the counter, everywhere but the cup. Meanwhile the bartenders laughing, because he thinks he made some easy money. then the bartender asks the guy for his money and the guy says, "alright one minute." then the guys walks over to the table full of guys and they al start pulling out money and give it to him. so the guy walks over to the bartender and says, "here you are, your 100 bucks" the bartender notices him smileing and says "u just lost 100 bucks why are you happy?" and the guy says, " you see that table full of guys over there? well, i bet them all $500 dollars that i could piss all over you, your counter and all of your things, and that youd not only be happy about it, but youd laugh!!!"

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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Q. What happened to the kid with 1 arm and 1 leg and 1 arm and 1 leg A. He had a seisure, then got hit by a bus

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill all his friends and family.

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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I know what you do with your right hand. You part-take in everyday activities such as eating, typing, grooming and maneuvering.

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Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

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Why'd Sam run away Because charlie bit his finger

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Never go into your parents room with a blacklight.. -Ryan Vallee

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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Omg its that superman nope chuck testa

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whats better than holocaust...911 cardiac?

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What's a word that describes someone annoying, black, starts with an N and ends with a R? Nagger

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

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How did Bella fly? Very badly.

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What's worse than finding a baby in a dumpster? Being late on your taxes

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

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a young cow was sitting on a bench until her husband shot her after that he said to the farmer 'i will get the milk than you cut the udders and then maranade them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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