A child rides by his mother on his bicycle and says "Look Mom, no hands!" The child doesn't come back, and night falls but he has yet to come home. His mother calls the police and a search begins 2 days later. He is never found is presumed dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

i like having monkeys lick peanut butter off my nipples

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I walked into my maths lesson and my teacher told me to point out the uncommon variable. ..So i pointed at the ginger black man in the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple finding half a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Bob: If two negatives make a positive, what would be an anti-anti-joke? Tim: An anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Nero, please pick up the phone, I wont ever do that, it was a mistake okay? Stop that, my sister wont ever! My mom whatever! But if you lie a finger on my sister, I will kill you, I am at the outside, which room are you at? Tell me you coward fucker! Tell me!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What happened to the blind man who went skydiving? Nothing but the dog was unlucky.The dog kept squirming and he thought he hadnt gone down the cliff yet and said "ok fine dont come with me!".The dog didnt survive. :'(

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I lied, it was a goat.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? Jokes related to finding a worm in an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do dogs and cats have in common? They eat dog food, accept for the cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

And Stephen Hawking said.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Turkey Balls

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I don't like movies. Because ticket prices are overwhelming.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

My period is red, Your sauce is white, now pull down your pants and let me do my workout.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

So I was walking down the road today

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was strapped to the first monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's harder than nailing a baby to a tree? My penis whilst im doing it.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

women sports....

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why does Reid always have a blank stare on his face? Because he is constantly searching for the answer as to why his sister was raped, stabbed, and burned alive all right in front of his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

whats does a dog cat spider and rat have in common?the dog cat and rat are all mammals.Exept for the rat idiot!!you should have figured THAT out before!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What happens if George Washington is still alive? World population increases by 1

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops