A blonde, brunette and redhead are walking in the forest when they come across a set of tracks. The brunette says, "Those are dear tracks." The redhead says, "Those are elk tracks." The blonde says, "Those are moose tracks." They are then hit by bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: What did Stevie Wonder eat for dinner last night? A: Something consumable

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what do you call a dead baby in a blender? child abuse

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Junior's love life.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the black guy, the latino guy, and the asian guy all have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantaloupe.

thumb_up thumb_down +2,494

I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because-- ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????? ??????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Why didn't Rosa Parks get her fat black ass up? Because she was an avid partier and had anal with roughly 8 different guys the night before.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what's yellow and hovers? a yellow hovercraft.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Yeah sure, you have "absolutely... ...No... ...Reason..." to... Fucking... use... This... place... at... all... But you seem to be here all the fucking time, what fucking sense does that make? That is not the matter at all fagface! Your fucking goons assaulting me because "I stole one of your aliases?" I was born Nero and will die fucking Nero, not Nerometal, not Nero of Neronism, just Nero your friendly rapist! Yeah Ill give you my fucking social info, so you... and... your... excessive... use... of... this shit... can... send... your ...fucking assholes to finish the job! Listen bitch! I am a writer! And your faggots stabbed off like half of my eyeball! I don't give a damn about this site, I want your fucking assholes to stop seeking me out in person! Hell, give me your social info, so we can "make a fucking settlement" Where I break off your head and shit down your neck!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why do cats have eyes? So they can see.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Ask me if I am an orange. "Are you an orange?" No.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did John say to Trojan? Hi Trojan

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What is your name? My name is Jeff

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

thumb_up thumb_down +99

If a chicken and a half layed an egg and a half in a day and a half how many pancakes does it take to shingle a roof? -A banana has no bones

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock Knock Come in. Thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

moonshine most none americans think its just when the moon shines we have another story

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happened to the man who just took a shit? He got a stunning pain in his anus because the earlier Hemorrhoid issues had now turned in to a open wound around his Anoderm.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Darude- Sandstorm

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation can be known as fishing for compliments or reassurance of your value as a human being. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats better than winning a gold in the special olympics? Not being a retard

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops