When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation can be known as fishing for compliments or reassurance of your value as a human being. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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What did the toaster say to the raisin? Nothing. The toaster was mute and the raisin had lost his hearing in a terrible full-contact origami accident.

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What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A miracle

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You know what would be funny? If the Incredible Hulk asked Spiderman to change his diaper.

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Why was the salsa spicy? It has a mixture of many spicy peppers.

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A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

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Yo Aodhan yer hands smell of pish

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"I see." said the blind man to his deaf son.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Can't Sing, Or Ryhme

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The third one is for you

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A handicapp walks into a bar

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your life

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Q:Why did the black man fall down? A: he got hit in the face by a refrigerator

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add me on facebook guys , im sexy , i get mad girls and guys, im bisexual , and im a blood (the gang) http://www.facebook.com/brock.beatty.1?ref=ts

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im black

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Homeless man....it's what's for dinner!

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Its a bird! No, it's a plane! Oh... so it is.

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Why did the black man cross the road? he just wanted to cross the road, racist. ... after he had robbed a bank

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Roses are red Jeffrey's a nigger A refrigerator is white But Jeffrey's not a refrigerator. He's a nigger.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to call animal control.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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