what did the farmer do? plant

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What's Terry short for? He's missing a leg.

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Which came first? The chicken? Or the egg? Whichever one was more sexually excited i guess.

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Why wasn't the TV remote working? It was out of batteries.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Except it's not usually a rectangular or love heart shaped... nor does it contain small expensive assorted candy... life may not also contain nuts... or be devoured by our fellow human... Life is not like a box of chocolates

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What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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"What's uhhh.". "Crap I forget" "Oh yeah! 32!"

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while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

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Why did the computer crash? Because it had too much alcohol.

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Why'd Mary fall off her bike? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Mary... O.o

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Why'd the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a bus.

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What is worse-losing your phone or failing school? Apartheid

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A Jew throwing a dime into a wishing well? Highly unlikely.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin get in the car.

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three friends are chilling one day and they all think they belong in Guinness book of world records the first guys says i believe i have the smallest arms in the world, the second guy says i believe i have the smallest nose in the world and the third guy says i hate to admit it but i believe i have the smallest dick in the world. So they all go down to Guinness book of world records inc. and the first guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST ARMS IN THE WORLD" the second guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST NOSE IN THE WORLD" the third guy comes out all depressed and mad and says "WHO THE HELL IS JUSTIN BIEBER"

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? It is unlikely that this situation would occur, as tractors are very large objects and losing one would be very hard, furthermore, tractors are vital agricultural vehicles and most farmers would take care in not misplacing one.

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What did God tell Moses to deliver to the Hebrews? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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what do you call an elevator full of white people. a box of crackers

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Why did the car stop To buy drugs

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What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

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If a plane crashes on the boarder of Canada and The U.S.A- Where would they burry the survivors.

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How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

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Why did the man go to sleep at 9:30? Because his mom told him to

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops