If life though you lemons, through skittles at them and say tast the freakin rainbow.

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Q. Why did the Muslim go to hell? A. Because his name was Osama Bin laden.

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What do you call a man who only eats fast food? Unhealthy.

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chuck norris once kicked a man verry hard that man proceded to lose contiosness and chuck norris was disqualified from the martial arts compatition

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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Ok so 3 guys walk into a bar... the fourth one ran.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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How do asians chop their food? CHOPSTICKS! Moral: Yeah that one sucked... ON PURPOSE! Now you dont have to feel inferior ALL the time, you feel equal even though you arent! Ill allow you :D

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why did the the chicken cross the road? because some sad,board people wanted to make a joke

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Q. How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? A. That obviously depends on the size of the bathtub and each individual infant.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

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What did the Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know. I can't speak Chinese.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan.

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What did the cow say to his friend? Moo.

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A man walks into a bar. Realizing that he left his keys in his car, he called a locksmith to unlock the doors. He did not have money to pay this locksmith and was put in prison for his large sums of debt. He was shanked by a fellow inmate and died a few days later in the prison's hospital ward.

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Hey babe, do you like going to sleep without shoes on? Because most people find it more comforting to remove footwear in order to rest and relax peacefully during bedtime.

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what do you call Tim Tebow on a bike with a clown hat on? Tim, Mr. Tebow whatever you want

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* Are you deaf? * Yes, as I love paradoxes.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a microwave? If you don't know the difference you need a psychiatrist.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have Cancer."

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

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Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

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How does a person put an elephant in a closet? First they have to open the door, then put the elephant in and close the door. That was easy well how does a person put a giraffe in. You probably said open the door and put the giraffe in and close the door. Well you missed a step first you have to take the elephant out then you can put in the giraffe. Well both animals are to big to fit in a closet so you can't put them in and also the person who put the animals in is schizophrenic and the animals are fake so if you believed that you could fit them in there you might be delusional.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops