"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

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why do you often see black man dating fat chick?? because they have the brains to realise that fat chicks are just people and need love too

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A boy asks his father how babies are made. The father responds, "Babies are created via coital sex. A man rhythmically inserts his erect penis into a woman's vagina until he ejaculates. If his semen successfully fertilizes her egg, a baby will slowly grow in her uterus. After roughly forty weeks of gestation, the baby will be born."

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An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

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Your mom is so environmentally conscious, she recycles a great deal.

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Why did the bear eat a group of children? It was hungry.

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So I was sitting in the doctor's when I noticed a guy sitting about two seats down, wearing a sombrero and pouring salt over himself. Then I found out I had cancer and promptly lost all interest in him.

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What do you get when you write your own anti-joke? Herpes.

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Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

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Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the slaughter house

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Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

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YA MAM, is a very nice person

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What do you call a black man jumping off a bridge? Suicide.

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What do you get when you kill a black man? The death penalty.

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Faces like yours belong in the Zoo. Don't be mad I will be there too. Not in the gate but laughing at you.

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Whats worse than getting broken into by a robber? Looking at Obama

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womens rights

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Why did the monkey cross the road? It didn't. It died!

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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women's rights

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

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BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH 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BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BIT

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A nun, a jew, and a KKK member are all stuck together in a lifeboat. A large wave overturns the boat and they all drown.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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