I'm attracted to you like the earth is attracted to the sun. With a force that is inversely proportional to the distance squared.

What is the difference between a bench and a mexican? the bench is an object

Knock Knock Who's There? You don't know me, but I just hit a car parked on the street outside your house and I believe its yours, we should exchange information

I'm innocent its all Taggart he's the one instigating.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly shits on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

How do you do to stop a baby who is circling? You nail his other feet.

why did annie fall of the swing? she had no arms.. knock knock who's there? not annie.

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Knock Know Who's there? Not your dog, he just got run over.

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall underwater? dam

I want seaman but sex with interracial men body builders. Please call me - 843-813-2788

Justin Beiber and a speaker = no hearing within a 25 mile area

a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

How many dead rats can you put in your ex-girlfriend's bed? 437.

What do you get when a bulldog and shitzu reproduce? A litter of extremely cute puppies.

Why was Billy lat to school? He was being raped.

Do you want to hear a joke about dogs? A joke about dogs.

How do you make someone to go away from you? You rape them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rape him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rape him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

What's yellow and can't swim? A tractor.

Four brothers joined the army and were deployed to Iraq. Two of them committed suicide.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Jim. Jim who? Jim your cousin. Kathy then let Jim inside her house and helped him carry the pizza boxes into the kitchen. Everyone had fun and enjoyed the party very much that night.

where do you find sunglasses at? the store

Women's Rights

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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