A farmer goes out to the coop to feed the chickens. They're all dead.

A lady walks into her bedroom and sees her boy friend having sex with another girl. She hears the phone ring and a voice says "your grandma died".

Knock Knock! Who's there? So. So who? Cares.

what do you call a room full of one terrorist and several babies? dead babies

How did the chicken know where he was going? He had a map.

I have a good knock knock joke: You start it.

what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

What's long, hard, and has come in it? A long, hardcovered book.

Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Well many scientists have theorized that a giant meteor hit the earth causing the extinction of most living things. Also if your christian : Dinosaurs never existed, evolution is the devils work, science is not the answer to the world's problems. Darwin was a foolish man, and thats that.

Knock Knock! Come in.

What happened when the car hit the man? He died.

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

Q:Where did sally go when the bomb went off? A: Everywhere.

How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Shit on her face

what did the girl say after her boyfriend proposed? she said no because they've still got a lot of stuff to deal with before they even consider getting married and he seriously needs to get a job and dump his other girlfriend.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

What's greenish blue, smelly, and mushy? The fungus under my sink.

Q: How do you stop a baby from crying? A: You hit it with brick.

Why is the moon gray? Why is it not?

What do you do when you have those days where you feel that you go back three damn steps for every step you take towards your goal? DUUUUUH! You turn your back, see? Now you are getting three steps at the right direction for every right one! LOGIC!

What happens when you give a guinea pig a cherry? He turns into satan.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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