PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

What did Hellen Keller say to her baby cousin? Nothing

Q. How much wood would a Wood-Chuck chuck if a Wood-Chuck could chuck wood? A. Wood-Chuck's clearly cant chuck would so what is the point of trying to figure out a question that would never take place in real life?

Roses are red Violets are blue I own a lawn mower Can you swim?

What did John the accountant do when he saw a flying dog, He woke up from a wonderful dream and started his day

You're a big fat monkey.

Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

I can be considerate if like someone is burning to death and I was the one considerate enough to lit them on fire... Wait no, I am considerate towards my friends (which are all ladies, all men besides me are obstacles and nothing else) AAAAND my logic processor broke down. Anyway, please do me the honors, take the last message.

What's funny and looks like a fish? A clown fish

No soup for you!

I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

What do you call an Iraqi man steering the plane? a pilot, you racist.

knowone loved me why???????????????????????? because they were so damm ugly

Knock Knock! Come in.

What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you? Someone else's cheese.

Whats worse than HIV? AIDS

What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of tree? A Pool Table

yo mama so fat she decided to go on a diet :)

Click here to end the world.

What's long and yellow? A yellow tube.

my computer crashed because i never quit... out of anything

Its a sunny day. There's a tree and a bird. What did they say to each other? --------------------------------------------------- Nothing they can't talk.

Knock Knock. Who's there? God. God Who? ::Apocalypse follows::

What starts with F and ends with UCK? FUCK

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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