A white guy, a black guy, and a chinese man all walk in to a magic shop, at different times in the day to buy different products.

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Small titties.

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What did the prostitute get for Christmas Money

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What do you get when you mix your mom and your dad? YOU!!!

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What is black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Not black berries because black berries come from a bush.

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I had a lemon. hi.

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What did Mr. Pazdzioch and Mr. Hahn and Mr. Fishers big ass do for fun? Ate Mr. Kilgores shit at shin-go-beek jamboree.

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What's worst than failing your test? AIDS

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What's red ad looks like a green bucket? A red bucket to a color blind person

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What's better than winning the lottery? Winning it twice.

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knock knock - whos there whos there -"im confused" try it on someone

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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It wa Jerry's first day of kindergarten He pulled out a .44 magnum and shot himself under the chin where he was instantly dead... Yes, dead

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I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac. Unless they were having sex with my corpse.

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He drowned.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None,it eats plants.

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Yo mama so poor... that she possesses substantially less money than the average person working hard in order to accumulate money today.

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one time, there was this anti-joke.com joke set-up. It was just like a normal joke set-up. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

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a boy walked into a pet store to get his bird some food. they were all out. the bird died.

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? because he was dead

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What did the black guy get from his white girlfriend for valentines day? An HIV positive test result.

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What's big, purple, and smells like children? Barney

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What do you call a black person with food stamps? A freeloader.

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Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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