What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

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Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

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What did the German say to the Rabbi? Hello. The German was also Jewish

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? They were my friends.

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How do you make a sausage roll? Wrap some sausage meat in a pastry dough made of plain flour, water, salt and fat, and bake it in an oven.

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What did it say in the end of the book? The End.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Where would Tupac be if he was white? Not the morgue

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What's the difference between a dead Blackman in the road and a dead dog in the road? There's skid marks in front of the dog.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red, HOLY SHIT THE GARDEN'S ON FIRE

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OneBigAssMistakeAmerica

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What did the kid with cancer get for christmas. Nothing. He was Jewish.

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Sometimes I sit in the bath and pretend im a bubble

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What did one volcano say to the other? Nothing. Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights

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Why does Santa wear sleigh bells? Because he's got leprosy.

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Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

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Q: What did the blonde woman say when she got slaped by her friend? A: Ow.

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Please spell dyslexia.

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Did you hear about the 2 pretzels walking down the street? It's not true, pretzels are not capable of autonomous movement.

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Justin Bieber

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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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