What do you get if you cross a football with Theo Walcott? A goal kick.

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"knock knock" "whos there?" "pizza delivery!"

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How did the chicken cross the road. He didn't he was ran over by a bus.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Two men meet at an office. One man says "why the long face?" Then other man says "I just had plastic surgery."

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"Knock Knock" "Who the hell is it?" "Patri..." "Go the hell away!"

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How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie into in!

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was strapped to the first monkey.

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Religion.

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why did the baby start crying? because he was very hungry and hadn't been feed all day

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Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

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Why did the baby die? Because I refused to feed it.

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Why couldn't the kid get into the pirate movie? Tickets were sold out.

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Why does the Green Giant's vegetables taste funny? He stands over his peas and corn.

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

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twilight

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roses are gray violets are gray everything's gray I'm a #$%ing dog

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The Dane, the Norwegian and the Chinese where on a plane, and as the plane was malfunctioning, the pilot would shout: "We are overloaded! Toss out everything you can spare!" The Dane tossed out a box of Danish Salami, explaining they had enough of those in his country. The Norwegian tossed out a package of sweaters, explaining that they had enough of those in his country. Suddenly the Chinese jumped out without a given explanation, as time passed though, the surviving crew arrived to some conclusions... Moral: R.I.P Kim the 294834839483948th

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speech and debate.

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If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

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guy 1- damn its hot in here guy 2- then turn on the damn fireplace

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what's big fat and hairy yo mamma

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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