Why did the man walk into the bar? Because he wasn't looking where he was going

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What's 9+10? 19

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How long does it take to build a wall? it depends on how big he wall is

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

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Have you heard the one about the drunk cleaning lady? I haven't either but I bet it is good. That is a pretty good premise for a joke.

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Why did the penguin die? It got eaten.

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What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

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What did the man say to the orphan? No one loves you, you have no friends.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7.... because 7 was black

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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What would Michael Jackson do if he saw a naked child alone in an alleyway? It is unknown, as he cannot be asked about this hypothetical scenario due to his passing in 2009.

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What do you call a gay man? Homosexual

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What's green and fuzzy and would hurt a lot if it fell out of a tree and hit you? A pool table

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A chinese man, a white man, and a black man are all driving on the freeway. They see each other and wave as they all know each other, and then they focus on the road and drive carefully.

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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Why did the boy cry Because he fell

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Why did the police suspect a Hispanic man of theft? Because they found his fingerprints at the scene.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

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Two guys walk into a bar, one is treated for a concussion.

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What's worse than being the last man on earth with thousands of women to please? Realizing that you are gay and there are no men left.

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everyone dislike the first joke on page one

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Two men walked into a bar, the third followed close behind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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