What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and only one eye? Dave.

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Person 1: *sneeze Person 2: bless you Person 1: I'm jewish. They never spoke again.

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How do you kill a retard? you shoot him in the head

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Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

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Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

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Have you seen the blind man's new house? No. Neither has he.

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A man walked into a bar, he then fell to the ground screaming in pain.

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F Detroit! I'm more of a Bulls fan

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What's worse than being caught in a downpour? Having your kneecaps ripped out of their sockets.

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Knock knock... Knock knock... Knock knock... Unfortunately, nobody was home to sign for Marks parcel.

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What's the difference between a vegetable and my son? Nothing

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven had a huge ass mole

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Betty Whites ALIVE?

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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burn baby burn your nanas burning

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Your mama's so skinny; she can fit into most swimsuits sizes 4-6 and has a rather petite bottom.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

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Mr Whelk visited his doctor. His doctor put on a sterile glove and inserted two fingers into the man's rectum. "Does this feel all right?" The doctor asked "Yes" replied Mr Whelk. "But is my wrist broken or not?

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whats the difference between ur mom and my mom? nothing i slept with both of them

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Laura Pratz... not having a strong urge to tweet everything that happens in her life.

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Illumati Confirmed

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What do you call a medical student who finishes last in his class? Doctor.

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Hey are you from tennessee? Because I recognize your accent and I grew up there also.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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