why did the geman man hit the jewish man? because the jewish man swung a punch at the german man so it was an act of self defense.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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If life throws you melons, you might be dyslexic..

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Tucker Rivera

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Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

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A bartender walks into a bar, and starts his shift.

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Why did 3 kids mom's die last year? Because they were depressed and committed suicide.

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Q. Whats the worst soccer team in the world. A. Ass-enal.

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Yo mama's so fat that she should probably go on a diet to avoid the risk of getting a cardiovascular disese.

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Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge? She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

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Why was the chicken sad because it lost it's family

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Why couldn't the 11-year old get into the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13.

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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What's big, grey and can't climb trees? A carpark.

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What did the autistic child say to the doctor? Nothing. His condition is so severe that he is mute and may never talk for the rest of his life.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because Se7en was a scary movie!

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women

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Bob:Know who's really stupid? Rick:Who? Bob:Your mum.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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Q: How did the black guy die? A: After a long battle with a terrible case of pneumonia he struggled to breath and died a slow and peaceful death... R.I.P. Dad

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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