What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -.......

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Knock knock GET OUTTA HERE! Jesus Christ dude I just came for some eggs!....

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Tomorrow, today's yesterday.

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What did Steegers say when he lost his TARDIS? "The niggers stole it again!"

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a double whiskey. The bar man says "what's with the long face"? The horse replies "My wife left me, took the kids with her, took everything, I'm devastated"

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When is a door not a door? When your burns down.

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why was the stone green? I dont know thats why im asking -_-

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Everything.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty one year olds? There's twenty of them.

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AROUND

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a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy walked into a bar. It was an interracial bar, and served men and women of all nationalities.

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Thank you, you remind me that I am not insane, just because I believe we humans can accomplish more, by uniting as one, rather than fighting one another. I feel as if I belong somewhere else, yet the question remains always, are people such as you better, or are we relics from the past?

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Cheese that isn't yours

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What do you call a blond in a library? A girl that likes to read.

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why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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why doesnt bally lifeguard he isnt qualified

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holocaust jokes are bad, anne frankly they annoy me

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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What's the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman is a superhero and the other is just a normal person.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

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How do you blindfold an asian? step 1: Fold your blindfold into a triangle step 2: Wrap blindfold around the head of the asian step 3: Tie the blindfold on the back of the asians head step 5: You forgot 4 step 6: Your finished step 4: Tighten the blindfold Now you know how to blindfold an asian ˜´??

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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