- Anti Joke

What did the penny say to the other penny? Nothing, because pennies can't talk.

What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

Anti-Joke Memes? That Shouldn't Be A Thing

Whats the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick into someones ass

Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? He was severely depressed.

do you know what i see in the perfect girl? my dick.

Where do dizzy cows go? In circles...

When I grow up, I don't want to be a therapist. I have enough trouble figuring out the problems in my math book.

What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

+13,683

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

+14,727

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

alert("The Game");

If a tree falls down in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does God exist?

What's the difference between an orange? The horse because the vest has no sleeves.

A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

what did steven hawking say to the prostitute? Nothing, he is unable to speak, he needs help from his word speaker thing.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

Knock Knock. Who's There. Teenage Pregnancy

Why are their so many lesbians? cause they LOVE the pussy.. (Tastes soo wet and tight)

How much does the Holo cost? Six million.

A woodchuck could chuck wood but a woodchuck couldn't chuck Norris because Norris isn't a type of wood.

A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops