Why did the chicken help people across the road all day? Because after past experiences the chicken decided to become a lollypop chicken and help people nit make the mistakes he did

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What is the difference between therapist and the rapist? A space.

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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The Pittsburgh Pirates

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs and died? Because he had a stroke and never got life alert!

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Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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What's johnny's favorite bedtime story? The sound of the subway. Johnny and his father are homeless and can't afford bedtime stories

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

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Why did the gay man die? He had AIDS

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A man walks into a pole and says "I know, this pun is lame"

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the asian kid gets an F

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What call a duck with no wings? A deformity.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daisies are yellow Trust me, I'm a florist.

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WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?!?!?!!! Not Michael Vick.

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your moms fat. she's ugly too.

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A man walks up to a girl and says "Hello there" The girl doesn't respond because she has been deaf and blind for her entire life and doesn't know he is there. Potatoes.

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A Horse walks into a bar. Everyone dies

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My next door neighbour found out yesterday that I am a serial killer. Knock Knock. [L]

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Why did little Betsy have a stomach ache? Her alcoholic mother pinned her down in a drunken rage and made her drink bleach.

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Inspirational speaker: "You can judge a man by the way he treats those who can do nothing for him." Me: "Hitler loved dogs."

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

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Your Mama is so poor. I begin to worry about you and your familys' finacial situation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops