A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "What'll it be?" The duck says that he should get his doctor on the phone because his hullucinations are getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A tiger walks into bar. He orders a drink and leaves. The tiger's name was Tony the tiger," It was just a man wearing a costume for the cereal company.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you turn a broken skateboard into a gleaming Rolls Royce? With magic.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

One night you tell your mom to make you a sandwich, the next day in school you ate a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A kid walks into a ctholic school and asks about the therory of evolution.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A guy walks into a bar. After only 10 minutes, he leaves. The bar closes in 10 minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red. Violets are purple

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you kill a Jew? Shoot him in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -160

your mamma so fat she is homosexual... hahaha to bad u will get last in her

thumb_up thumb_down -40

why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

old mcdonald had a farm had..... he now lives in the city

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock knock Who's there This is the police, open the door. I don't know anybody by that name

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the fat kid rob a pizza shop? Because he happened to like pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are read Vilots are blue, I have a gun, Now get out of my house!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a Russian civil war? A war in which one side wants to seced from the other.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

What happened to the orphan on Christmas? he got raped

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Where can I apply for janitor school?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops