haiku for you ladies and gents My mother once said, "Slow and steady wins the race" She died in a fire.

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A guy walks into a grocery store. He asks a lady where the potatoes are. She says on isle 5 He goes to isle 5, but there are no potatoes.

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Yo mama's so fat, she possesses a Body Mass Index that is above the recommended value for healthy individuals and thus will have a greater risk for heart disease and other related health problems.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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sorry, that was a really bad joke, joking just joking, of course we can chat later, you got something in particular to do?

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A murder, a cheater, and a liar walk into a bar..... Woah the aptriots must be in town -Rocco Tufano

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What did the cow say to the horse? Mooo

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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

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Can midgets still have big dreams?

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how do you torched helen Keller? put her Ina round room and tell her the bathroom is around the corner

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an average-looking woman walks into a bar. nobody really notices.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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An man walks to a bra

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knock knock. whos there?(haha ive never made my own joke before) Nick Nick who? Nick Saghir Oh, come in. Would you like some cookies?

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Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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Why did the blond fall of the ladder? She had no arms.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts What's worse than two holocausts? Twilight

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The cat climbed a tree. It didn't want to come down, so it starved to death.

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If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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Poop...

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Yo momma so fat she went on the Subway diet and is now exercising regularly to lose weight.

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Roses are black. Violets are grey. I'm a dog...

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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A black man trips and falls down. You help him up and ask him if he needs any help. After a brief friendly talk you both continue on your separate ways.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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