Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

thumb_up thumb_down +36

your mumma so fat she ate a horse and she still had room for dinner

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocost

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why is an orange, orange. Because you can't clean a window with a spade.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman is a fictional superhero and a black man is an ordinary man of African descent.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the little girl stop riding her bike? She was hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happened when 7 8 9? Six was afraid! HAHAHaha....ha.... wait, no. I told that wrong....

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Did you hear about the guy with seven fingers? You should, because almost everybody has seven fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a gay Jew? I don't know, but Jews are cool.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What happened to the vegetarian when he tried outdoor survival He died due to lack of energy because of his refusal to eat meat and or any living substance

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A: What time is it? B: Half past six.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What is the #1 cause of pedophiles? Sexy children

thumb_up thumb_down +5

You know what topping goes bad with ice cream? Chloroform

thumb_up thumb_down +10

who has less of a soul then you? a ginger

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I going to the kitchen to make a #sandwich.....oh wait this isn't twitter

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you get a blonde to break a nail? Smash her finger with a wrench.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the worst thing about being homeless? Not having a home.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why didn't the black man make it into heaven? No one did, there is no evidence supporting the existence of an afterlife.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops