what did Stephen Hawking say to the prostitute? My illness prevents me from achieving erection.

What do you call a man with a towel on his head? A good target.

why did the Cow die....? He didnt!!!!

What did the scientist have to say about religion when he was asked by a local reporter? He said that it is a cultural system that creates powerful and long-lasting meaning, by establishing symbols that relate humanity to truths and values.

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Well it's not going to happen so I don't see the point in giving this a name.

A little boy and a pedafile are walking through the forest at night. The little boy says "I'm scared." The pedafile says "You're scared? I have to walk home alone."

There's an Irishman, a homosexual, and a Jew standing at a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community.

Why doesn't Michael Jackson play with Macaulay Culkin? Because he's dead.

Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense, Refrigerator Sex

Roses are Blue Violets are Red I'm not creative Roses are Blue

Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

What do you call a girl with no arms or legs on the beach? Sandy What do you call that girl tossed into the water? Sandy Duncan

i like boobs haha ha hahaha

Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your entire family died in a car accident

What is yellow and smells like a flower? A yellow flower :)

A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't say anything because its a duck.

Whats green and fluffy? Your mom.

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So this guy walks into the doctor's and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor says "Yes, you've shattered both your kneecaps. You'll never walk again."

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

Once upon a time, there was an ugly duckling. All the other ducklings made fun of the ugly duckling for being so ugly, and the little duckling felt bad. "Why do I have to be such an ugly duckling?," he asked. However one day, the duckling grew up and became........well, an ugly duck. Turns out he was just an ugly duck. The end.

Q Whats Yellow, Has a body, And has a Spiky head ? A a pineapple

Vancouver Canucks Hater: What time is? Another Vancouver Canucks Hater: 6 past Luongo

justin bieber over spongebob *snicker*

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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