What's the difference between a turtle and a horse? The horse has no shell.

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how may horses can you fit in a blender i can't remember what is red and goes 100KPH a horse in a blender

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa? He's Jewish.

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Haunnaka in 1940's Germany. six thousand people die. in one minute.

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how does stephen hawking get an erection? he turns off his pop-up blocker

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tomorrows international kill and orphan day, how meany of the sad bastard's you plan on baking into dough?

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Why did the runner stop farting in the middle of his run? He ran out of gas.

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Q. If you're paddling up river and you lose three tires, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? A. Purple because ice cream has no bones.

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A man is about to rape a girl. Before penetration he carefully and correctly applies a condom as he practices safe sex and is not yet ready to father a child.

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What do you call a not as grumpy Jewish man in his mid 30s? Danny. What do you call 5 of his best friends? Arin, Suzy, Barry, Ninja Brian, And Ross. Another possible answer to the 1st question is currently not married.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A: Me after domestic abuse.

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Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

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What do you call a supporter of Barrack Obama? A welfare recipient

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Why didn't Joe's toaster work anymore? Because he dropped it into the bathtub with him.

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Q:What do you call a duck that can fly? A:Bird.

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump!

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Why do Vampires Sparkle in the Sunlight? They don't read a proper Vampire Novel and see for yourself.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have altimers cheese on toast Srry bout the spelling. I couldn't REMEMBER!

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Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

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What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

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if your having girl problems i feel bad for you son, i don't have any.

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? - nothing oceans are inanimate objects that are incapable of talking.

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Hey i just raped you and this is crazy so delete my number and keep the baby

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whats worse then justin beiber NOTHING

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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