Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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What's a joke? Funny

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What do you call a feline attempting surgery? A catastrophe, because they aren't very good surgeons.

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So, this guy walks into the doctor's and says: "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor says: "Yes, you've shattered both your kneecaps. You'll never walk again."

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The duck says do you smell poop. Ya says the chicken, it wasn't me It was the turkey

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Knock. Knock. No one is home. Okay.

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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Brett Farve

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why does one side of a v-flock of geese have more birds? Because it does.

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What is Worse than the holocaust?

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what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? An Alzheimers's patient. An Alzheimers's patient who? To get to the other side!

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Q. Why did the black man not get on the boat A. Because he gets seasick

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Why couldnt the black man drink from the water fountain? Because the water fountain was broken.

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A man walks into a bar. End of story.

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a chinese man pays the full price

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What did the kid with cancer get for christmas? Hope.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My dad drinks a lot Help Me

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Why does girls have two left feet and two left hands? Because girls have no rights.

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Why did the seal get confused when a spider tried to high five him? Because spiders have eight legs.

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What do you call a black man standing on top of a church? "Holy-Shit."

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I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

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Why did women scream loudly!? As the women was unexpectadly frightend!

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Why did the girl hang up on her boyfriend? Because the roof collapsed on her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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