What shall we do with the drunken sailor? Call the police to have him escorted off the boat for operating a large veichle under the influence of alcohol.

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What did the boy with four arms get for Christmas? A Laptop. Why couldn't he use it? He had no fingers.

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ROSS G IS OBESE

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What did the nun eat for breakfast? Baseballs.

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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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A family of aristocrats walks into a talent agency and shows their performance. The talent agent asks: "How do you call yourselves?" They say: "The Aristocrats", "because that's what we are; Aristocrats."

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The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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What do a dog and a fork have in common? They both have tails. Except for the fork.

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Why is Michael J. Fox unable to build domino chains? He only has one domino.

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row row row your boat gently down the stream rape

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Why did the duck eat the chicken noodle soup? The duck was told that if he ate the chicken noodle soup on Fear Factor he would win $10,000. What he failed to realize was that he forgot to sign page 16 on the episode contract and did not win any money and was sued by Campbell's soup for copyright infringement.

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Tried to type an ascii of a penis, failed

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Q: whats snoop doggs favourite weather? A: drizzle

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What is invisible, weighs 332 pounds, runs 67.3 mph, is green, and is made by Jews in China. Nothing, if something is invisible, then it cannot reflect green light, therefore it cannot be green.

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Matt Gregory Harrington is a bender, pylon, hoser, duster tripod, and puck bunny!!!!

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roses are white, violets are black, You should probably consult with an eye doctor, for you probably have severe color blindness.

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Q: How do you win the tour defrance if you have one nut? A: Hard work and dedication.

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:-)book

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Watch your lips.

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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What's worse than finding gum on your shoe? Being molested by a sea urchin.

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I dont have a girlfriend

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Q:If quizes are, "guizicles," then what are tests? A:Who calls quizes, "quizicles?"

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Knock Knock Who's There? I am. I am who? I think someone has contracted amnesia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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