A man walked into a bar, he was extremely short sighted, after this occurence he decided to phone up the opticians to get some glasses.

Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

Knock Knock Who is there? 9-11 9-11 who? You said you would never forget.

What's worse than finding half a suicide tablet in your apple? Finding half a worm.

how do you get the high score on doodle jump? jump from platform to platform without falling or being attcked by various monsters.

Why did the man not want to be a tree? Because he didn't want to.

three jews walk into a bar. then a bear mauls them.

What did the murderer do to the dentist? Nothing, the murderer has served his time and is clean. But he did get his teeth cleaned.

Just think...there are 7 billion people in the world...so that's 14 billion orgasms!

An invisible man sleeping in your bed! Who ya gunna call? Most likely the local police department to report the strange incident possibly brought on by lack of sleep. NOT Bill Murray.

Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

Why can black people jump shoot and steal? Because society’s stereotypes have influenced people in thinking that African Americans can jump really high, shoot a basketball well and commit theft.

How does a black man laugh? He schuckles

Q: what did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We're both lawyers!

The biggest lie ever. "I do" -Kim Kardashian

Whats funnier than Steven Yuhasz being Straight? Womens Rights.

Why is meth so addicting? Why? Hang on, i gotta go do some meth

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a fridge halfway through walking.

Friend: I said pass the juice, not gas the jews! Hitler: Oh.

A man goes to the doctor and complains: "Doctor, my Viagra hasn't worn off! It's been over eight hours!" The doctor replies "You were bitten by a banana spider. You have one day to live.

Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

white or wheat? wheat please.

What did the zombie eat for breakfast? You. You fell a-sleep

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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