Q:What did the midget say to the toll booth operator? A: Is your family dead too?

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. The first muffin did not look over to the other one and did not talk to it because muffins are objects and do not have the ability to communicate.

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"Have you guys ever seen Derrek Ashmores sisters? They are DTF if you know what I mean" - Jesse Ziegenbein

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What's red and the size of a packet of crisps? A Miscarriage

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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Whats worse than getting broken into by a robber? Looking at Obama

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Why did the man loose his balls? he had testicular cancer and had to get them removed.

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Guy A: Why is 6 scared of 7? Guy B: Because 7, 8, 9? Guy A: No, numbers don't have feelings Guy C: That's so dumb Guy A: Hey you know what, this is an A and B conversation so... Guy C: So C your way out? Guy D: Yeah, before D and E come and F U up! Guy E: Are you guys high or something? Guy F: Dude, I'm a girl, F stand for female (Author): Oops sorry Girl F: Thanks Guy G: Mind Blown O_O

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why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

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according to the ewspickle, it is Dumbledore's favorite food.

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Why did Doctor Who visit Ancient Greece? Because has a time machine and has that ability

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How many people does it take to light a fag? I love BBW porn!!!!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Not the holocaust

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Q: What's bigger than a volcano? A: Earth

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What's the difference between a mole and dynamite? - Moles don't explode... unless you fill them with dynamite.

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What was Hellen Kellers biggest mistake? Knock knock jokes

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Safety in numbers? Try telling that too six million Jews.

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What is the difference between Boyscouts and Jews? Boyscouts come home from camp.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -Pizza. That'll be 20 bucks. -Here you go. -Thank you.

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What is red and green, red and green, red and green? A frog in a blender.

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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What disease did the gay man get from his partner? Streptococcus!

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Why did the giant try to eat the magical rainbow? A: Because the apocalypse is predicted for the Wednesday after santa gets shot by the evil jolly ice cream man which in secret is cheating on his wife who in turn eats every human baby ever known to man. duhhhhh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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