How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

Bill is walking down the street when a girl who had a crush on him 20 years ago sees him, goes up to him, and says, "I think I know you, what is your name?". Bill says, "Timmy," and keeps walking because he is an asshole.

One time, I ate 3 chipotle burritos....after a tennis match

Well I do want it to end now but...WHAT? How did you get that trough? I thought hypnosis was supposed to increase awareness and focus.

Why did the 18 year old girl take her clothes off? To take a shower

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Poems don't have to rhyme... Refrigerator

Yo mamma is so pretty, she is frequently complimented on her good looks.

What's 8 inches long and makes my girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage

"I can't wait to eat this bagle!" "Yes you can." "Yeah, I guess you're right."

Why did the man go to jail? He abused and later murdered his spouse.

If your yacht is if moving at 50 knots per hour in a wind tunnel how many leprechauns can you fit in a chamber? Even, because purple is attracted to bestiality.

Why did Hanna fall of the swing She had no arms or legs Knock knock Whose there Not Hanna Haha

A mother and her kid are in a park: Kid: Why did the chicken go to jail? Mother: Because the chicken killed your father... Now we are broke living in a park and I'm gonna kill myself at noon, and so are you. Kid: I'm not doing that, and neither are you and Daddies over their! The dad is a zombie, this is the beginning of the zombie apocalypses. THE END!!! PUPPIES!!!!!!!!!

what do you call someone that is dying of malaria? someone that should consider visiting a doctor.

why did the little boy drop his icecream? he was hit by a train

While driving at night, a man accidently runs down a young child. Devastated, he runs out of the car and begins to break down. He screams up at the sky "Why God? Why?". And God says nothing, because he's not real.

you: knock knock person: who's there you: interrupting cow person: interrupting cow you:MOOOOOOOOO

Why's the sun red? It's not it's orange.........retard

Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

So there was a guy in the middle of the street, how did he survive? ...He doesnt because he gets hit by a car becuase hes in the middle of the street...

Q: What did the ugly duckling say to the other ducks? A: QUACK!

What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have Somthing To tell you F*** You

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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