what's worse than getting an unwarranted parking ticket? Serving a life sentence for killing the meter man.

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You read this in school as a crowd of kids stand behind you laughing at your screen

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Once upon a time, there was a Y O U M A D and they all lived happily ever after.

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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what do you call balls on richards chin? a dick in his mouth

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A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it. "I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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I thought I was a bird and I could fly Gravity painfully reminded me I was only a human

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A white guy, a black guy, and a spanish guy jump off a building. They all die on impact and their families mourn their loss for years to come.

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A man with a ski mask on enters a bank, he just came back from the slopes.

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A man is about to rape a girl. Before penetration he carefully and correctly applies a condom as he practices safe sex and is not yet ready to father a child.

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What's brown and sticky? Caramel.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE

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i have cancer

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Send creepy emails to this email address: matt.harrington@highlandcatholic.org

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Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

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What did Joe do after the party? He went home.

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I have a black guy on my family tree. He's my cousin.

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Whats up with your nan? Copious amounts of lsd

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What is the difference between a Mac user and a PC user? The operating system that they prefer to use.

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hi

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What did the golfer do when he hit a shot with a lot of pressure on him into the water? He dropped another ball and continued on, for golf is a civilized game and bad manners are prohibited.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

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what do you call justin bieber having sex baby baby baby oh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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