How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +14,685

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between an onion and a baby ? You cry when you cut the onion.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's green and shitty? A bootleg stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Man 1: youre going to die Man 2: why? Man 1: everyone dies

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's brown? My toilet hahaha

thumb_up thumb_down -66

the chicken crossed the road. the chicken was then caught by animal control because it was in the middle of a city.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A bunch of kids are in a treehouse. The treehouse falls out of the tree and kills everyone in the treehouse and the two little girls playing underneath. It was sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I am really good at math debating

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Chemotherapy.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what did timmy from southpark say after his warther melested him? TIMMY

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

thumb_up thumb_down -101

The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did the chicken cross the road? because he was peckish.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was the black guy good at basketball? He practiced hard everyday.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

So there is two clowns. Pickle and Jim. If you were asked who was funnier, you would probably say pickle. Well you would be wrong. It's Jim.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do we want? Chips!! When do we want them? Chips

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? Get on the ship.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Unflushed Shit...

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Who is green? Mike Wazowsky.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops