Kill me? Lol, come get me sis, I can kill you wit my mullet, nobody wants to take my phone, but your sister already replied to my "anna fuck" with "arent you married buddy? :)" yeah a smiley, ill show you! The doors are open, if I fail to take you out, I am not deserving of living futher, course yea mother blusx to everywown, I mean she is horny all the tiem! Anywaz, hurry up, im out of stims so im fallin sleeps, told ur sis to send me a nude pic, rite now... so this mite take 3 minuts. Hey, watch the next pic im gonna send you, that should motivate you to fight me sersly, i men sure im slo, but imma sp ful ov valeium dat i feel nor feear no pain... never feeer pain so whateves... Nah your sis is skinny, thats not here, the pixture is fakye, for now... u dyou know dat she keeps snending them hearte and smile and even a smilei with a rose, thats FLIRIIIIIING! Flirting, anyway you get the picture, but I wont respon anymor becuz i am shuttin down this pc and gonna dream abot the things to0 you sis. ;)

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Get some flipping new jokes people

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What did the guy say to the other guy? Hello.

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why did hellen keller kiss a girl? another blind date

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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Why did the cat land on it's back.... because its dead .......

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Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

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What starts with F and ends with UCK? FUCK

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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what do you get when you have an albino black man, a lesbian middle eastern siamese twin of the female gender, a polygamist indian and a jewish native american? A very cultured and diversified posse of hostages. Take your pick.

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Why did the boy have no ankles? Because his legs were amputated

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.....

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Whats worse than a bee sting? - Two bee stings Whats worse than two bee stings? -The Holocaust Whats worse than the Holocaust? -Three bee stings

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What did the firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire? -Let's go home

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what did michael jackson do when i swore at him? nothing he's dead

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what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

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What's worse then ten dead babies in a barrel? The one at the bottom is still alive.

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Tom: Did you here about the blond who went to college? Mike: No. Tom: Well I heard she's leading a very successful life.

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Why did the beachball get sad after it was deflated? Beachballs don't have emotions.

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What did obama say to the united states of america YES WE CAN

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Why dont you ever see black people at night? Because the majority of people sleep during the night, including the african americans

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I knocked on my neighbors door to complain about the horrible smell before remembering I killed him the week before, he has no family and no one will ever know.

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who is gay for wild ones- Ryan Mcgggguigan

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gay marriage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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