What happened when the zombie walked into the blonde lady convention? He went home hungry.

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A man with a PhD walks up to a college student and jokingly says "Hey dude, what did the hat say to the other hat?" The student replies "My name is Joe and a hat does not have a mouth, therefore it cannot speak." The student is then unimpressed on how uneducated the man is, also worring about how the man was able to receive a PhD.

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Q: What did the bartender say to the Arab as he was walking in? A: Nothing, the bomb had already killed them both.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza is an Italian food and a jew is a human that practices the Jewish faith

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What did the man say to the cat? Nothing it had his tongue

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. So is my eye. I get abused.

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what did the chicken say to the vet? nothing chickens dont talk

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How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

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Why did the little boy fall down the stairs? I pushed 'em.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing-set? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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A dyslexic paraplegic walks into a bra

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What's black and white, and red all over? newspaper...

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whats worse than a leaf in your bed? World hunger, global warming, the economy......

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who shit in my garden

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Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone.

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Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

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How dou you find the population of mexico? Take a census....... By throwing a dime in the street!

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

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Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a gun.

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A black man, a Mexican man and a white man walk into a bank. The black man reaches into his bag and pulls out his bank card, the Mexican and the the white man do the same as they need to withdraw money.

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How did the family of Cubans get to Florida? They flew first class from their home in upstate New York.

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Can I touch it?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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