How do you confuse a blonde? You ask her a question.

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An Asian man walks into a bar and ask the Barman for a beer, the Barman is racist and therefore tells the Asian man to leave his pub. The man goes home and drowns his children in the bath and pushes his wife down the stairs, he is found out by the police and is given a life sentence in jail. 5 years later the Barman kills someone in a bar fight and is also sent to jail for life. The Barman meats the Asian man in prison and they settle there differences with a handshake. Two days later the Barman was stabbed in the neck.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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What did the homeless man say to bill gates? Nothing he was about to die.

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What do you call Helena… A Shady palm tree

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I am back with more jokes! -Lets go Mets It is best to dislike this one

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Comedian: Do you all wanna hear a joke? Audience: Yeah!!! Comedian: Okay! What did the bad comedian say to the audience? Audience: What?!! Comedian: Chicken butt. Thank you, you've been a great crowd. Good night!

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whats worse then girls playing sport ? girls cutting grass

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What did the whale do when he was angry? He beached himself, causing a major ecological disaster and costing the beach community thousands of dollars to return him to the water.

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Why did the black kid die? He had cancer.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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Your mom was diagnosed with aids. Her prognosis was 6 months....clearly this joke is about the Holocaust.

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Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

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Your everything I've ever dreamed of you sing like a bird your gorgeous your funny your friendly your sensitive your caring your unique and one day I will kill you.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it because it isn't coming.

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What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

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'A blonde', 'a brunette', and 'a redhead' are ways of referring to women who have hair of a certain color.

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Whats Brown, Long and is on every black man? Legs

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How do you make a baby cry ? Throw a brick at his face

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A hispanic man eats a taco and enjoys. He is kicked in the nuts 2 months later.

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Alright so an elite group of Navy Seals walk into a mansion. They open fire on Osama Bin Laden and kill him.

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What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Dementia Pickles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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