What did the blind man say to his wife? Nothing, for he was mute too

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my candy brings all the kids to the yard and i'm like- get in the van.

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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A horse and a penguin and a kangaroo come into a bar and order drinks from the bartender, who later gets fired for taking acid while working.

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Patriarchy.

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what do rappers cover? ->CANDY CREDITS: ANUJ NARAYAN VARMA from Leland high school

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Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

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What do you say to a black man on fire... Stop, drop and roll !!!

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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A cat and a dog walk into a bar. The bartender says "it's refreshing to see perennial enemies enjoying each others company".

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If you have two berries in one hand, and three in the other, what do you get when you put them together? Five.

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What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

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96

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What's worse than anti-joke.com? Non-anti-joke.com! Louis

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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What do a magazine and a banana have in common? They both have pages, except for the banana.

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How Long is a Chinese name.

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Roses are red Violets are red I murdered the gardener

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why didnt the boys drink the coffee? because she coughed on it

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Q: What kind of punch do vampires drink ? A: None... It's really blood, you should know that by now.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: babies lack the intelligence and motor skills to accomplish such a task so it is not practical to hire them for a painting job.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy.

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Are you sure Jewsus was not a Jew?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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