Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. 'Who's there.' The chicken.

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What's the difference between Neal Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neal Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON, while Michael Jackson enjoyed touching young boys.

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have cancer.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication.

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Why are many frogs green? Because yes they are.

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Girl: Want to stay over at mine tonight? Guy: Yeah I'd love to! Girl: Tough, you can't

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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what would your nan do if she was alive right now? scratching the top of the coffin.

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knock knock who's there? john john who? john opens his mouth only to be gunned down by a terrorist attack

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Why did the clown go to jail? For 23 charges of rape and murder.

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Why couldn't Cait walk her dog? She's been paralyzed from the waist down since she was 5 after her and her parents got into a car accident and her parents died.

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What do you call a joke without a punchline?

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Kid With ADD A Kid With AD- Oh Look! A Squirrel!

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jam ? Among many things, one is made with peanut butter, the other with fruits.

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Whats white and sticky and falls from the sky? The Cumming of the lord

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So a bar walks into a man...

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Hey, how much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to drown as a result of climate change.

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What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

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What is the difference between a black person and a bicycle? You can sell a bicycle legally.

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What did the Hungarian say before he went to bed? "I'm going to bed," but he said it in Hungarian.

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What is worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? Being eaten by a giant octopus. What's worse than being eaten by a giant octopus? 3 Bee Stings!

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Horse walks into a bar. 'The barman says 'why the long face?' The horse says 'I've got cancer'.

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Why was the mom crying? Her son was found in the oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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