Q: What's grey and looks good on policemen? A: A stylish grey hat.

thumb_up thumb_down +318

How do you drop a raw egg on to the floor without cracking it? Any way you want, it is very hard to crack concrete.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

tim tebow is a great quarterback

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: Why does a hamburger doesn't taste like an ice cream? A: Because.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a lettuce named Andrew? Andrew.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a woman who has huge breasts? Sarah, for instance.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Gale swallows.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the chicken cross the road? The undeveloped cerebral cortex vital for comprehending irony left the chicken incapable of finding humor or possibly feeling self-disgust in the acknowledgment that it had just wandered across said road, this being a grandfathered human jest.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Your momma's so fat: She's willing to risk kidney damage and embarrassing flatulence by undertaking the atkins diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots. The bartender says "Rough day, eh?" The man says "Yes, very rough." He then goes home and hangs himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,516

Why did the Muslim kill a gay guy? Because the gay guy was threatening his family with a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He threw it, because he had parkinson's!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I AM SOFA KING WE TOD HEAD - AV

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do Yankees fans cheer for their favorite sports team? Let's go Yankees!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the gun say to the pencil? Draw

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why can't Tom Maynard play cricket anymore Because he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +10

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A little boy asked his mom what fucking was, so she showed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q: What's the meaning of life? A: A bush, have you ever been dragged through one? It hurts.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock Knock. Whose there? Bond. Bond who? James Bond. na-na NA NA na-na na

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? Well none today because today is Saturday... maybe tomorrow

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops