What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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How to you confuse an Alzheimer's patient? Present her with a complicated nuclear physics problem.

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How do you call a dog with no legs? You can't call it, you have to go and pick it up.

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Q: What is Kony's favorite rapper A: SOULJA BOY!!

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Who needs god when coffee is cheaper

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Q: Why'd the guy have to fart? A: There was a buildup of methane gas in his colon.

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Why was Abraham Lincolin President. He was elected by the people of the united states.

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You know what they say about women with really big feet? They actually don't say anything.

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Why didn't the black guy get paid for doing work hard at labor? it was the year of 1860!!

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: It doesn't matter, the lightbulb never went out in the first place.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Why was the squirrel late for work? Because the traffic was nuts!

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Q. When you drink two 5 hour energies, do you get 10 hours of energy or double the energy for 5 hours? A. You die

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Whats the similarity between a rabbit and a grape? There both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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What do you call a fucking idiotic douchebag with ebola? An ebloa paitent

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How could you wake up Lady Gaga? poke her face

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Why can a black man beat a white man in basketball? They are generally better at basketball Why cant a black man beat a KKK member in basketball? He valued his life and didnt want to die

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A man yells at the top of the Grand Canyon, "Heyoooooo" He hears His voice echo multiple times. He yells again, "Heyoooooo" This time he hears his echo and a girl yell "heyo" back to him from within the canyon. He looks down. He falls. A mountain goat breaks his fall. The man is so thankful for the goat. He says, " Thank you goat! You saved my life!" The goat then pulls out a gun, and shoots him thrice. The man dies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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