Why did he buy ANTIJOKE THE BOOK! - ? Because he wanted to read it.

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What does a grandmas vagina taste like? Depends.

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Fags are gay.

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Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car and laying on the side of the rode for 2 hours then you find out that your wife was cheating on you with her your own brouther

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Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually 6 wasn't afraid of 7 because numbers have are not living things, therefore have no consciousness or emotions, meaning that numerical digits can not have a fear or be afraid of another number.

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Friends are like snow: If you piss on them, they disappear.

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How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

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How can you tell when a African man is lying? Like any other person you would use a lie detector.

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Q: What do you call a successful black person? A: A fictional character.

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What does a turtle do on its back? NOTHING!

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Why didn't Joe have any friends? Because according to Thomas Hobbes man is anti-social by nature and therefore the only friends that he has are purely to reach his own ends and thus Joe cannot truly have friends in the sense that many use the word.

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You're a wizard Harry! I am?

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What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing. He's a mute.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is Patrick.

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What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

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What did the Apostle John say to Jesus of Nazareth? "Oh, blow it out your butthole."

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How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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Why did the girl cross the road ? Because i was following her.

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Chuck Norris got hit by a train. It was a very bloody and sad incident and he will be missed.

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Why did Ian pass his CRB check? Because he committed his crimes on holiday

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Why did the elephant paint its toenails red? So it could hide in a cherry tree. Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? No.... See, it works!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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