What's the capital of Hungary? Thirtsy

thumb_up thumb_down -7

My dad is lactose intolerant. He shouldn't eat cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

So how does the chicken cross the road? He doesn't, chickens live on farms.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

what happens when steven hawking walks into a bar? everyone cheers at the miracle of science.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you confuse a blonde? Explain the concept of time travel.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A plane crashed. The pilot was some sort of food, like a loaf of bread or a salad. Neither of which can fly a plane or do much of anything-- like get a plane to move in the first place, let alone take off.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That depends on a variety of factors.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm wearing pants and I'm hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

1. Whats the difference between an orange? 2. Finish your sentence asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

hi michael

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why does a man have a closet full of fruits? Because he has a mental illness and there is nothing to laugh about.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why shouldn't I go out today? Well I haven't done any work today. Actually no. It's not that. I'd have to ask my guardian Sally to bring out the wheelchair, and well, I'm afraid of her. She beats me. My hobbies are playing football, watching Loose Women and looking at pictures of Gary Barlow on Google Images.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 8, 9, 10

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

What's johnny's favorite bedtime story? The sound of the subway. Johnny and his father are homeless and can't afford bedtime stories

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Who went shopping on Saturday? There is a reason I put a question mark there, so you guys could reply. Not so I could respond myself.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Want to hear the best joke ever? Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What is black and white and red all over? A black, red and white picture

thumb_up thumb_down +11

THER ONCE WAS A jueny WITH A TEN FOOT WENNY AND HE WENT TO SHOW IT TO THE LADY NEXT DOOR SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A SNKE SO SHE HIT IT WITH A RAKE AND NOW ITS ONLY FIVE FOOT FOUR!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

John has 37 candy bars and eats 36 of them? What does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops