Why doesn't God like fruitcake? Because God doesn't exist.

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Thank you Nero, this might not sound apropiate at all, but I am in love with you and have always been, and just want you to know that what I love the most about you is your spirit, your kindness, and sincerely, how you make me feel safe, I think its that you are dead honest to the point where you insult people asking for your opinion, I never had to question what you really mean or want, you just say it out loud, I love you, I realize it must be strange hearing that from someone you see as a daughter, I remember my father too well to consider you one, but I guess I always considered you a hot big brother of sorts. You are 32 huh? You always knew did you not? Why that secret of all things? Ill be arriving as soon as those trained killers of yours show by, and man are they fast and loyal, only you could inspire that love. I know your name is Nero, but I would not mind calling you Axel or at least knight, that's what you have always been for me.

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"Grandpa, How did you know that Grandma was the one?" "When her sister dumbed me."

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: I'm a horse. We have long faces.

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Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers

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Want to hear an orphan joke? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents

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A man walks into a bar. Now I have to kill you, because that's top secret information.

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Never mail in your wished to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Photoshop

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks why the long face. The guy responds because cancer is a horrible disease. Oh yah did I mention the guy has cancer? $

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What smells worse than an old women's fart? the rotting carcus of a dead baby

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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Knock knock Who's there? Johnny Johnny who? Names don't matter. Now shut up and let me in before I kill your family

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-Knock, knock! -Who is it? -Me

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Mets.

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A man walks into a pole He breaks his nose And bleeds to death

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What's black, white, green, red, blue, orange, gray, purple, and yellow? My art project.

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Your mum's so fat, she should probably consult her local GP to insure she doesn't die of a cardiac arrest.

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Next season on teen moms, Justin Bieber tells her story.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven.

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A blonde's house is on fire so she calls the fire department and they ask her how to get there. She gives them the address, but they hear her wrong and she dies a horrible fiery death.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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What did the rich man say to the poor man? i feel sorry for you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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