My grandfather slipped on a banana peel. I helped him up.

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What do a magazine and a banana have in common? They both have pages, except for the banana.

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Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

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So two people have conversation Luke: Hi Logan: Hi Snake eyes: ALHSKjagjdaoggj;jdjg;aj;kaj'dgajd Luke: You are so smart! (you retarted piece of poo) Logan: GAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBEEEEEEN

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Love Chocolate, More Than I Love You

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What did the depressed girl say to her mother? I cut my wrists

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Why did jimmy cross the road? Because that was the direction the cannon was pointing.

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What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? An effect of an overcrowded theme park

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Friends, they're like food. If you eat them, they die.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? feel the other side of the worm in his mouth

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What do you get when a bulldog and shitzu reproduce? A litter of extremely cute puppies.

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How do dinosaurs pay their bills? They don’t, dinosaurs don’t have a capital system.

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Why'd the clown fall out of the tree? it died. Why'd the cat fall out of the tree? it died Why'd the chicken fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the clown

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A boy orders a sandwich at a restaurant. He then questions the cashier about it. Boy: Excuse me, Why is my sandwich so bad? Cashier: Sorry, none of our women cooks were in today.

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A Jew and a German walk into a bar.

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Q: What's the longest word in the dictionary? A: According to the Oxford English Dictionary (second edition), it is "Pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism."

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whats worse than a dog biting you? two dogs biting you whats worse than that? the Holocaust whats worse than that three dog bites and one of them happens to have rabies

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a purple river? It gets wet...

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane. A pilot

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Why did the man throw a clock? In retaliation for his wife having thrown a vase at him. The couple has a history of domestic violence. More than one friend has suggested counselling.

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A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

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Why did Bob fall over? He was impaled by a narwhal. -BG

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What do you call a drunk, blind, deaf monkey driving a car? A bloody good driver!

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How do you make your friends more positive ? Infect them with HIV.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops