What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Lets see how many dislikes this can get.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses only the finest ingedients.

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Why couldnt Julia find her cat? she has gone crazy from old age, her cat actually died 10 years ago

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want to hear a joke? Woman's rights

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What do you call two black guys on a bike? Unsafe operation of a bicycle.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Beacause the destination he was trying to reach was across this road Notice how he tried This is because he got hit by a car but know one cares for him

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Pete and Repeat were sitting in a boat. Pete fell off. I hope he was wearing a personal flotation device.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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What does the composer Berg lack? Schoen.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she was deaf and blind and would have been a hazard to herself and others.

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Have you heard the deaf guitarist? He's really good.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers but at least i do not have Alzheimers

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How do you get a one-armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

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Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

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Friend: Dude are you going to see the hunger games? Me: But i alreay seen it Friend: Dafuq? its not even out yet. Me: African children invented the hunger games. Friend: -.-

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Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

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Q: what do you call a drunk blond? A: a cab

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Q-Jetski A-How is olive oil made?

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There are 263 birds on a fence, a farmer shot 1 how many are left? 0 the rest flew away.

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What's green and has four wheels? A dolphin. I lied about it having four wheels. I lied about it being green. I lied about the whole thing.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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