When is it unlucky to see a black cat? When you are a mouse.

A man walks into a bar... has a beer then leaves to his beautiful wife and his 2 children

What did the black person use to peel a banana? His hands.

To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

Roses are green violets are brown wait a minute..........my shoes untied

Wiggle wiggle wiggle yeah

Why was Timmy sad? He had 15 large cuban men slapping him for 27 hours straight.

A fish walks into a bar Fish dont walk

What is the fastest bird in air? NONE WHO NEEDS TO RIDE BIRDS WHEN YOU HAVE AIROPLANES!!!!

A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" and the duck says "Quack". The bartender is then promptly fired and committed to the nearest mental institution for thinking that ducks can talk and order beer.

What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

69

You momma's so ugly your dad left her.

Why did sam and jolanda drop their pudding? They got hit by a flying tree.

Knock Knock Who's There Alex, Now open the door, please. Oh Ok.

How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

How did the hairless cat brush its hair? It could not, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs, making it near impossible to do such a thing.

What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

Why is Scientology the Fastest Growing Religion of 21st Century? It isn't, its a cult.

A moose walks into a grocery store, he asks the deer where he could find some bisquits, the deer says "oh it's in aigle 6." So the moose goes to aigle 6...and there ain't no bisquits!

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stapled to a donkey

How do you get a elephant in a fridge? You open the fridge and put it in. How do you get a Rhino in a fridge? You take the elephant out and then put the rhino in. All the animals in the animal kingdom are at a meeting, what animal isn't there? The rhino, his in the fridge. How do you cross a river full of alligators? Walk across the allligators are at the meeting.

what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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