Why did the guy to the moo moo cow say? Yesterday, I took a crap at the restaurant and the toilet got stuck so I stole the vehicle and won the lottery.

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What's the best thing about sex with 24 year olds? They're in their sexual prime.

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Abbie shaved her arse today....then it smiled at me

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Why did the monkey eat his own poop? Because there was minimal resources where he was so he resorted to eat his own fecal matter

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He wanted to live a better life in pursuit of freedom and a better job.

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A whole family go to a water park. They have a great day.

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A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

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The mailman saw little Johnny sitting on the side of the street with an old coffee can Mailman: What do you have in that can there? Johnny: dog shit Mailman: what the fuck

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One day a boy asks his teacher what blue velvet is then the teacher says "we don't ask questions like that in my class go to principal's office now"so the boy goes to the principal's office and then the boy asks "what is blue velvet"then the principal says"no one says that in my school get out" so the boy goes home and asks his mom what is blue velvet then his mom says you don't say stuff like that in my house get out!so the boy see's the Mayer. So the boy asks the Mayer what blue velvet is then the Mayer says no one says that in my town get out of my town! So the boy see's a man and the boy goes to the man and the man asks what happend to you and the boy says well I got kicked out of school kicked out of my house and got thrown out of town just because i asked what blue velvet is! So the man tells the boy that there is a lady across the street. So the boy is in the road and then the boy gets ran over and dies. So the lesson here is look both ways before crossing a street

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Sixty... eight

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123 f*ck off

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What was Hitlers first toy? An easy back oven.

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It's The Only Crayon The illustrator had?

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Why didn't the Alzheimers patient put on her shoes? She didn't leave the elderly home that day, thus taking away the need to put on shoes.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? There's an alive one at the bottom what's worse than that? He ate his way out what's worse than that? He enjoyed it

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what makes a knight in shining armor a knight in shining armor? he has to have armor and be a knight.

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy But I just kissed you... And I have rabies!

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Want to hear an anti joke? Me too thats why Im on this site.

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Q: What did the mute kid say to his mother ?

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What's green and looks like a red apple? A green apple

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What's up with airplane food? Well I am a big fan of peanuts, so nothing

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a wonderful time.

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"....did he fire six shots or only five....." It doesn't really matter, considering he will die of blood loss soon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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