What do you get when you cross a hippo with a dishwasher? 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7

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what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

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What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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Seriously, all your new jokes are shit. They are either repeats of stuff previously on the site or they are just so unfunny you'd struggle to get a sympathy laugh from your mother. Please actually take the time to think of something worth submitting or do not submit at all. We know people with no arms can't knock on doors enough now, and many things are better than the holocaust. Do something new!

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What do you get when you cross a monkey and a fish? An unlikely premise upon which to base a joke

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Knock knock? Who's there? Why don't you answer the damn door and find out for yourself?

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What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

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Yo Mama is so fat She wears XL clothes.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? Physical abuse.

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if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 5 dollars he would have 10 dollars

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How do you double any amount of cash? Stack it up and fold it in half.

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What is the difference between a girl and a boy? Well, a girl has two x-chromosones but a boy has and X and a Y chromosone.

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why did summer hit the child because the child is jackson

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When is a door not a door? When it has yet to be created from its base components.

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-"Hey! You guys wanna hear a joke" -"What?" -"Womens Rights"

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What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

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Why was the 13 year old drug addict crying? Because somebody shot him in the foot

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What did the bartender say to the man? can i have a beer if you dont get it the bartender asked the customer for a beer

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Knock knock. Whos there? Death. You will die in the next 12 hours from terminal cancer.

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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If Daniel has 3 concaved man boobs, and Isabelle has 13 homosexual friends, what is the ratio of dolphins to African rapists? Wenis, because Jimmy was raped last night.

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My bologna has a first name It's O-S-C-A-R... My bologna has a second name It's M-A-Y-E-R... Oscar and Mayer were the names of the pig and the cow that were slaughtered and subsequently processed into the bologna I am eating.

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what did Susie, the girl with no arms, say after she fell off the swing? nothing, she was killed on impact.

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how do you make a plummer cry? you kill his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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