Im Tom and I'm an alcoholic...

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your fat

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How do you get Vladamir Putin to smile? You tickle him.

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Q: What's white, is Mel Gibson, and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree? A: Mel Gibson.

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I dunno, I dont grade love, I want to see you, touch you, bang you (sorry for not having the guts to use a nicer word, but I am tired and that is what I have in me now) And while that makes me sound like some hippy, I am very fucking picky about who I spend time with, and when. And I got no male friends, waste of time, why spend time with guys when I can spend time with chicks. Excuse me, just need my meds, speaking of sincerity, yeah I use medications, wont tell you what, but its well, not for my "mental disorders" I was born crazy, and I am going to die like I live: INSANE.

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I took your mother out for a classy steak dinner. I decided not to call her agian because we weren't very compatible and the conversation was very superficial.

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What did dick Cheney say to his friend that he accidentally shot in the face while quail hunting? Sorry for shooting you in the face

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Roses are red, Violets are violet, hence the name Violets.

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Whats the difference between chad woldert and justin beiber? Nothing

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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Have you seen the blind man's new house? No. Neither has he.

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split your ass cheek

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Why do all the Republicans hate Obama? He's a Democrat.

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pup

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Knock knock. Come right on in.

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what's black and can't swim? a black refrigerator

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What do you call a horse with no eyes? A horse with no eyes.

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What do I hate? people

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a car drives off a cliff whos driving? an asin woman!

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Why does Tim Teblow love men? Logan Cole told him to.

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How do you get rid of black people in your back yard? Politely ask them to leave.

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DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing set? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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