What did the girl without arms get for her birthday? A pair of gloves.

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Why did people have cold showers in the old days? Because there was no electricity back then, making it hard to heat water to a temperature that was classified as 'warm'.

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A clown walks into a bar and orders a pie. After about 2 minutes, the bartender gives him a pie. Later, a blonde walks into a bar and orders a cake. After about 1 minute, the bartender gives her a cake. Then a dog walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything because it's a dog.

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a red corvette? i don't have a red corvette in my garage

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because skeletons cannot live on their own and there is no such thing as a skeleton that can walk across roads without muscles.

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What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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A man walks into a bar, asks the bartender for a beer. Bartender says, "That'll be $3.50." Man says,"The joke maker did not explain monetary transactions."

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Q.Whats the differents between justin bieber and a girl A.Nothing

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why do jews like weed? A) because they are used to being baked.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What do you call a 400 pound man eating chocolate? diabetic

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Why was the man so cold? He was in a fridge

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

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whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? everything! dead monkeys are awesome

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Q: why was the women out of the kitchen? A: Probably to partake in one of her many hobbies.

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what is poop in pee? bagel thins? tuesday.

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What did the dead baby say to horse? Nothing, it was dead

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how do you starve a man who is on welfare? hide his food stamps under his work boots.

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? he had no hands

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

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Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 was convicted of a murder, but was released due to lack of evidence, and 6 is very concerned for the protection of himself and his growing family.

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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What did the man say when he was having sex with his wife? Nothing. It turns out it wasn't his wife, he was cheating on her with his mistress, the woman he was having sex with now, thus destroying their marriage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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