What happened to the man who jumped into a puddle? He contracted hypothermia due to the low temperatures of the water. He died the next day.

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How do you confuse an idiot? By confusing an idiot.

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Kenny died. The Bastards.

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How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

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why did the man jump out of the plane without a parachute? Im not really sure, maybe to commit a slow and painful suicide.

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A twelve year old walks into a bar. How Tragic

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My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

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What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pilot.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Biting into your dog and finding a worm.

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Explain the term 'Standard of Living'? Not having sex with diseased and obese women.

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"What would you do if i gave you a million dollars?" "I would scream and jump up and down? Are you really gonna give me a million dollars?" "No i just wanted to see what you would have said, that's all"

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http://richardfigures.com/

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What is black and red? Something that is black and red.

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What do vampires cross the sea in?

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Person1: wanna hear a joke? Person2: yeah Person1: ok

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why didn't the chicken cross the road? there are no roads in factory farms.

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What's black and makes me food? A microwave.

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What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck

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Penis

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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What do you call a blonde girl with ponytails? A cheerleader.

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Why's Jeds head so big? Curley wurly.

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Women's rights

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How many women does it take to changed a light bulb? 12. 11 to form a committee and 1 to make her boyfriend do it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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