What would George Washington do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Why did the one friend hate the other friend? Because the one friend didnt do a map for social studies he should've done and skipped school for that class and when he came back, the other friend told the social studies teacher he was here and he had to turn in an unfinished poster and now he is a crybaby bitch about it.

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Why are birds purple? because it fits the sky why are bats purple? bats aren't purple

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Why did the boy go to the hospital? He didn't. Unfortunately the gunshot wound severely injured the boy and he was unable to be revived in time to survive.

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why did victor sell half of club getaway because he wants a partner why did david buy the half because victors dying

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While getting Sherrie's Crabcakes I was arrested by Missy Hepp highway patrol.

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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Knock knock! Who's there? ADHD ADHD wh-? SQUIRREL!

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where do you find a dog with no legs? Korea. It's customary for the guests to get the drumsticks.

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What's worse than the holocaust? The holocaust was one of the most terrible incidents in history there are very few things worse than.

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When did joseph the deer learn to fly? - Never, deer can't fly

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Try this on some random person on the street... You: "Excuse me sir, do you know how to get to Farnsworth Street?" Man: "Sorry, no" You: "OK, you go straight ahead, then turn left on the second street. Continue about 200 feet, then......"

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What did the poor guy get for christmas? The homeless guy.

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what do you get if you cross a retard with ruddell? andrew ruddel

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Where do bananas come from? Mexico

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Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

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Knock knock Who's there Boo Boo who DONT BE SUCH A PUS*Y

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What did the Woman say to the man after he walked into the pole? That was a pole you idiot

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What's the difference between celery and a truck?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmer's daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soy-bean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture remover's van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam, caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.

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your period is red your waffle is blue find a way to fix it or no sex for you!

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who can jump higher than mount everest? anyone. mount everest cant jump

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Why is a bulldog so aggressive Because it was raised for dog fights in basements Dog fights aren't right kids, and you should never get involved but if you find yourself in the cage fighting one of the dogs, you should really think about how you got there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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