Roses are red. Violets are blue. What do flowers have to do with this joke I want to tell you?

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Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

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Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

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Knock Knock Whos there Reality* Knock Knock *Opens Door*

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the love boat

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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You know what they say about priests with big rosaries? I don't know, it's in Latin.

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women's rights

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? He was on his way home from work and saw some youths loitering on the street corner and thought it best to avoid them and therefore any possible confrontation. He would also appreciate it if you would call him something along the lines of Bravery impaired instead of a chicken as he finds it offensive and doesn't fully understand the avian reference to his lack of confidence.

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Remember when the whole country was sad because Marget Thatcher died? No, me neither.

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How many anti-jokes does it take to change a light bulb? Since anti-jokes are not concrete objects, any change would have to occur metaphorically or abstractly. The number of anti-jokes required would then be irrelevant.

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What happens when a gay guy and a hillbilly enter at the same bar togather? a police dog nation gards and a priest had to stop the abomination.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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I don't hate you because you're fat. You're fat because I hate you

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What do you call a man who's a gynecologist, painter and respected martial arts champion? Talented.

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A woman walks into a bar.

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i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

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A white man, a black man, and a brown man are all in an elevator. The white man laughs "this is like the start to a racist joke or something." The other two men strangle him because he is white.

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The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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What does KFC stand for? Kids Fattening Center

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Chuck Norris doesn't do pushups, his personal trainer designed a regiment for him that didn't involve them.

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a blind man walks into a wall

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Why did the black man get arrested? Because he was in possession of powder cocaine, which is a schedule I narcotic in the United States. This incident probably would not have happened if an end was put to the war on drugs, which is notorious for disproportionately targeting blacks and other minority groups, even though whites are statistically more likely to use such substances.

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Why did Alex fall off the swing? he had no arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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