How do you make a bllind person cry? Slowly cut off their toes.

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A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

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nock nock who's there i eat mop i eat mop ho i didn't know you eat your poo. the wedding is off and go **** yourself in a hole!!

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What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

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A man walks into a party, walks over to the snack stand, and is surprised to find that there is no punch line.

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what's the difference between a lamborghini and you're mother. cars don't scream when you rape them

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What was the joke about that woman with altsimers again? Ironically I forgot.

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whats the similarities between an xbox and michael jackson? there both made of plastic and they both get turned on by children

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

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Why did the plane crash The pilot, being an uneducated pilot, crashed the plane as he didn't have proper training, and the whole of the passengers died.

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All the planets are named after gods Ours is named after dirt....

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How do you kill a polar bear? Global Warming.

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Knock Knock Whos there? The Police, your mother just died of bowel cancer.

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What should'nt you say to a rape victim. Rape.

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So Nero, seriously, don't be mean, call me, I am going to bed now, nighty nite.

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Me:hey paul did you see that story on the news? Paul:ya i did thats really crazy!

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So a man walks into a bar carrying a giant clock. One of his friends asks, "Hey, whats up with the clock?" His friend then responds, "A goddamned genie gave it to me, i can't take it anymore. Here take his lamp." The man decided to rub the lamp and thinks to himself, "Gee, I'm gonna wish for 1 million dollars." The genie comes out and asks the man, "What wish could i grant you today?" The man says, "I wish i could have 1 million dollars!!" The genie replies, "As you please." All of a sudden, a studded dog collar appears. Then another, and another. Soon there were 1 million dog collars in the bar. The man yells, "WHAT IS THIS?!?! I DIDNT WISH FOR 1 MILLION COLLARS!!!" His friend then replies, "I didn't wish for a giant clock either...."

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Whats black and gay? Obama

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What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

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What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

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A jew goes into a church. Yolo.

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Whats worse then finding a winning lottery ticket? Probably Everything

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Y couldn't you stop the bowling ball? Because it was going down a hill.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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