Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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And love is, bein' the owner of a company that makes rape whistles and even though you started the company with good intentions trying to reduce the rate of rape, now you don't wanna reduce it at all cuz if the rape rate declines you'll see an equal decline in whistle sales. Without rapists, who's gonna buy your whistles? Who's gonna buy your whistles? Love is all about whistles.

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Q: what do you call a hooker you pay in spaghetti? A: a pasta-tute.

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I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf a bread

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What's purple and gross? Purple gross stuff

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What do you call an asian plumber? A plumber.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong is an astronaut. Michael Jackson abuses little kids.

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Your momma is so fat that she has really high cholesterol but also an undoubtedly warm personality.

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Roses are red violets are blue tulips are purple/pink

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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What is the difference between apple and android? Apple makes fruit and android candy

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i like men but im not gay

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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Q: why didn't the little black boy have a father? A: because he unfortunately died at the age of 48 with pancreatic cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely to get to a source of food or escape a predator.

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25

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In the future... "Hey Apple! Hey, hey Apple!" "What the heck, Orange! You've been doing this for the last 10 billion years!"

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A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

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Kid: Hey,can i have all the answers to this test please. Teacher: What the hell kid im the fricken teacher.

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I just pooped in my boyfriends mouth. He ate it. Ps. I am a boy

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What's funnier than Tom Cruise laughing like a badass? Chuck Norris

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Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops