Q: Why can't a tomato fly a plane? A: Cuz it's a tomato

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what do you call the one eyed man in the land of the blind? You call him an outcast

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How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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Why are all of the cars in the left lane? Because you are in Winona MN.

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Your Momma's so ugly, she went to the grocery store, and went she got out of her car, people said, "You're ugly."

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Knock knock. Whos there? The police, your wife is dead. The police, your wife is dead who? Sir, this isn't a joke.

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What do you get if you cross a centipede with a millipede? I don't know but it sure has a lot of legs

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- I have cancer. - SUCK IT UP!!!

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4-4-2

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A man walked into a bar, he spilled his drink.

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A horse walks into the bar and says "why the long face?" The bartender replies "hey! I was supposed to say that!"

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how do you make a plumber cry you kill his family

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what's white on top and black on the bottom? Society

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Q: Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? A: The backyard gate was left open

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. What? You are about to die and be eaten. Asshole! i will murder you first!

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What do you call a Jew with 20 Pounds of Pennies? A rich man

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How do you make an anti-joke offensive? Add racism to it.

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What do you do when the Cubs win the world series? Turn the xbox off and go to bed.

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One day there was a guy who went on a date with a girl. They went to the movies and ate popcorn. After the movie ended they had a candlelit dinner at a restaurant nearby. The guy ordered a fried chicken and the girl ordered a watermelon salad. They went home after a great dinner. I'm not sure how the story ends but I remember the story was racist.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes Wtf?

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, or have you been in a wheelchair all your life?

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So a horse walks into a bar, oh wait Sarah Jessica Parker

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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