What did the Watermelon say to its baby? I'll SEED you later!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

You know what's interesting about Polish people? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How much Is a free app on my market?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the black person jump the fences? because he was in a relay race.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A dyslexic pimp buys a warehouse.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: What's white, is Mel Gibson, and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree? A: Mel Gibson.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to go well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that when his wife was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas, despite that the tank was full and she only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrendous car accident that caused the fuel to empty and catch fire. Mary survived but their 6 month old baby was killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Why did the duck eat some grass? A: because we are so careless that we caused global causing the entire pond to shrink to a size where it cannot raise a family and the fish could not prosper so the duck could not eat what it had forcing it do consume an inedible substence causing it to die because is not a natural part of a ducks diet

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Two people were walking down the street. One was assaulted.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what is orange and blue 2 colors

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a mexican and a African? Two people with no water.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What does a muslim do on a plane? Flies to his intended destination without causing a problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the cow hail a taxi? Because cows can't drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because they're humans and many humans enjoy the savory taste of fried chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Whats the answer to life? im not sure

thumb_up thumb_down -4

antonio has a penis head.lol

thumb_up thumb_down -13

where do you find a dog with no brain? in its grave.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a girl with 1 eye and 3 arms... Chernobyl.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Your mother's so fat.....When she gets on the scale, it tells her how much she weighs

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

What do you call people who play dance dance revolution? Dancers

thumb_up thumb_down -37

A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops