"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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A man drives home from a bar one night, He is under the influence and his reckless driving will costs many innocent people their lives.

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Why was the little girl not allowed to see the pirate movie? It was sold out.

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

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A Cheerio is at Cheerio high school, and there is another Cheerio that he wants to ask to the prom, but she is a frosted Cheerio and because of Cheerio social statuses she would not go with him. So he goes to the Cheerio factory so he can become a frosted Cheerio. The factory workers tell him that he can be a frosted Cheerio, but the machines are malfunctioning today and they can only frost half of him. He agrees, and the girl Cheerio goes to the prom with him. He shows up at the prom with her, and she asks him to get her some punch. So, he's walking around, looking for the punch line, when he realizes: There isn't any.

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A man walks into a bar. It was his push-up bar that he didn't install high enough. He bumps his head and it hurts.

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whats black and white and red all over? a zebra crossing after a horrible, horrible car accident

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The world's smartest man walks into a bar. And he orders the best most reasonably priced drink.

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What's the difference between Christians and Jews? The Holocaust. The Holocaust is the difference.

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what happend when the AntiJoke Crossed the road? It pooped in the ... HIT BY A REFRIGERATOR.

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what does the monster eat after going to the dentist? the dentist

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If I was a backstabber, you would have been dead already, without me having anything to do with it in the first place, listen, we cannot change the world, those that control the media, control the world. And our role was the opposite, we wanted people to find their individual selves and put their talents for use for themselves and us, today the media tells people who they are, what they like, and what to eat and wear. None of us can do this, point zero is gone, its simply a matter of time, but if you want to try, I can do what I can, in hopes of delaying the inevitable.

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Whats the difference........ Between a duck?

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I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

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How to make a plummer cry Kill his family

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When would you find a Mexican, Asian, Black and white guy hanging out? Never

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yo mama so fat she's fat

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A traveling salesman breaks down on a rainy night, but spies a farm house. he knocks on the door and the farmer answers. the salesman asks if he can spend the night. the farmer says "sure, but i gotta warn you, i don't have any daughters."

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Your friend is so retarded I am getting a bit worried and his mother should take him to get tested for mental retardation.

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why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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