What do you call a cow that's holy? Holy Cow

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did then plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What are crabs with out the crabs Nothing hahahahaha

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats blue and fluffy ? Blue fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has two legs

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Who's fat? Holly Davis.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what did eric foreman get for christmas? a foot in his ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the Muslim do after his friend told him a funny joke ? Laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Yo mama so fat even Dora couldn't explore her!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was the boy sad? Because his dad was a serious alcoholic who refused to go to rehab. Being an alcoholic constantly led to him beating the boy and his mother. Eventually, the boy couldn't handle this anymore, and he committed suicide. Realizing what he had done, the father also committed suicide. The mother is now locked away in a mental hospital, for she couldn't hold grasp of the deaths of her husband, and her son.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what does adolf hitler and jewish people have in common? they *** and **** but **** will always **** that hard but **** is ****** up rather ******, and they don't eat bacon

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the blind man say to the train conductor? Nothing. He was mute too.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what's white, sticky, and very fluffy? which can be sweet or bitter, depending on what the person ate. THATS RIGHT. it's CUM. :D

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was Martha put in a wheelchair? She was hit by a rabid cabbage.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

What do u call a six year old boy holding a gun. illegal

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because he didn't have a face

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats worse then 9/11? -George W. Bush

thumb_up thumb_down -42

A grasshopper goes into a bar It is stepped on and crushed.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A baseball player hits a home run and wins the game for his team, when he arrives back home expecting to see his mother and father, he remembers they both died in a car crash several years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a tub, and one was Sandusky.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops