A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

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Knock Knock.... Knock Knock.... Knock Knock.... I guess no ones home.

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Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

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Why couldn't Jimmy go bowling with the rest of his friends? His parents shot him.

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When Rocky teased Johnny by saying : 'Your momma is so fat , she looks like a hippo.' , He did not know Johnny's mother was suffering a terminal glandular problem combined with an agressive cancer..

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when nothing goes right go left because if you go straight you will fall off the cliff

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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Why did the bus crash? Because the bus driver was a potato.

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How do dogs mark their territory? With legal documents.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because people have encroached on it's natural habitat.

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What do you get when you mix Fruit and Flys? Fries... or Flutes, depending on how many Flys your add.

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If I get 100 likes by tomorrow I will send 100 dollars to who ever likes it if the put down their address and say its for Louis Ok?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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Roses are red, The grass is greener, Every time i'm with you, I touch my wiener.

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why did the clown fall off the swing because he got shot in the face

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What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

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Why didnt Steve Jobs make an iphone 5? He died

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what did the boy say? please please please please goout with me

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Knock knock Who's There? My name is Jeff

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What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, your Heart maybe splited into two but, if you love me i would fix it for you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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