A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

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what did the bannana say to the milk carton. nothing bannanas cant talk and their on the other side of the store

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

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Q: What was the proctologist doing on the street? A: He was observing the assfault.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your Grandmother died.

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My name is never spelt right so its all good

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Q: What comes after 8? A: 9

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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Whats more worse than a dead baby? You shouldn't be thinking about dead babies or stuff worse than them, it is sad.

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Your mother is so fat that when she looks in the mirror she is deeply upset by her appearance.

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An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

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A man walks into a bar. Itwas an metal bar so the man was hurt.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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what did the captcha response say to the man? ofdorno which.

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I told you it would happen

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Don't make my new Nazi friend upset, or he'll be Fuhrerious

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What did the farmer say when he lost his donkey? "Oh no, my donkey is my livelihood and the only means I have of supporting my family. Now, we shall surely starve."

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A man walks into a bar and says "hey bartender wanna help me out!" The bartender says "no."

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What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

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What's worse than rape? Gang rape.

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Just friends, they too pretend to be you and copy the way you write and express yourself, I told them to stop though, Azure threatened someone here a cultist of sorts I think, that does not exactly put us in a better light with the people that where getting our messages, and yes they are coded, I sincerely had no idea though,

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A cricket walks into a bar and the bartender says,"Hey, we have a drink named after you!' and the cricket says,"Oh really? You have a drink named Joe?"

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a seal walks into a bar. replace "bar" with "club". and replace "walks into" with "gets bludgeon by."

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Chuck Norris." "Chuck Norris who?" "NOBODY SAYS 'CHUCK NORRIS WHO'!!!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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