How do you scare a blonde? Put the barrel of a gun to the side of her head.

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A- 2 jews walk in a bar..what happed? B- they died 35 years later from skin cancer

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says,"Why the long face?" The horse replies,"I have terminal cancer."

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What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly,

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What has four wheels and can fly? A flying car What else has four wheels and can fly? Another flying car

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what's worse than getting an unwarranted parking ticket? Serving a life sentence for killing the meter man.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is quite strange, but then realizes he is dreaming. He awakes and tells his wife about it. His wife tells him to go to sleep. The bartender is now sad because he realizes his marriage is in shambles

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A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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What did hitler do with the vegetarians? Nothing, because he was one.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because no cars were coming.

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What is the difference between apple and android? Apple makes fruit and android candy

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whos gay rusty kohlen hit him up on facebook!

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Whats worse than getting a splinter? Taking a shower at penn state

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Q: how do you get a man with one arm out of a tree? A: shoot him

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm locked in someone's basement, Please help me.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy.

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And then the devil said "Let there be Justin beiber"

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What did the homeless man get for his birthday. Nothing. Get it: He lived a life along with a giant family and on christmas eve 2012 he broke his kneecap and was in the E.R. He got out of the hospital on christmas only to come home to find a burning house; his house. Every member in his family died except for him as they were all in the house when it caught on fire. The house completely burnt and crumbled, and that is why he is homeless.

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Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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What happened when the high school student had intercourse with his history teacher? orgasmic noises.

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Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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