Why couldn't the mute kid tell his mom the house was on fire? Casue he fell down the stairs and broke his hands...

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Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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Marrage s like a card game. You start off with 2 hearts and 1 diamond. You end up wishing for a club and a spade!

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Why was the Black Boy shot? It was because he was walking alone at night in a dangerous neighborhood, where there are many gangs. People should know not to go alone at night in dangerous places, or even in the day.

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What is the answer to this joke? Cuz fuck you that's why.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out it's an orange

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What is the difference between a rose and a grape? They are both purple.

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What did the white father tell his mexicon son and his wife as he left for work bye

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A black guy gets arrested...

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What did the guy at the office order on his pizza. Pepperoni :)

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Why were black people mad about slavery? Because they didn't get paid in gum! Holt9 ;P

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your doorbell is broken.

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Why did the blonde become a cannibal? Because she got hungry.

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why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

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No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

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what this: b a dead one of these: p

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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Q: What did the black man say to the sheriff? A: Good day, officer

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Your mom is so fat that when she dives into a pool she displaces a proportionately larger volume of water than people with less body mass.

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So a horse walks into a bar.. and breaks both its front legs. The owner has to shoot it because it can't race anymore

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend? My girlfriend is alive and 19 years older.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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