'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I don't have cancer, but you do. Love, your doctor.

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So a woman walks out of a kitchen, she is instantly mauled by a bear.

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rabbits running in my bathroom!

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What time is it? 10:58

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dfasdf sdf ds fds fds f sdf s fs

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Your momma's so fat: She feels uncomfortable in public due to current trends in ideal body shape and aesthetics of beauty.

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A man. That is all.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do.

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What's harder than nailing seven dead babies to a tree? My erection while doing it.

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Rebecca Black

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roses are red violets are blue

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Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

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Man #1: What was the hardest part about watching that kid get hit by that bus? Man #2: My dick...

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Last christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, you're body rejected the transplant and you died.

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Why didnt little Timmy come home? He was abducted into slavery.

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What do you call a green blur in the sky? Super pickle?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Not only did 7 have that intimidating look to him, but 6 had recently found out that he was a well known mob boss who also went by the name of Lucky Seven. he was in charge of a gang called The Prime Numbers. They had been terrorizing 6's city for sometime now, whether it was stealing, mugging, or even killing or vandalism. 6 sure had a lot to fear, but he knew things might turn out well, as 6 had a great ability to try his best and do what he believed in: Justice

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Why did I get thumbs down from everyone? Answer: Because they hate my anti-joke.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

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How do you kill a clown? You smash his face into a brick.

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What did the white man say to the group of mexicans when a golf ball was coming toward them? 4!

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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