Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A kind hearted serial killer who will win your heart emotionally and then shoot you to death unexpectedly.

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Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

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How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff? Because at 19 months she contracted an illness that left her blind and deaf and therefore never learned to properly use her vocal cords

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My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

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What's hotter than a hot girl? The sun.

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Q: Why is there never sun beaming at the castle? A: Because the castle is full of knights.

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Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

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Why do the lesbians where pants? Because they are extremely comfourtable and the best for cold days

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Emergency call: - Please help, my little son swallowed a condom! 5 minutes later - It is ok, I found another one.

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what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

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What would you call it if Justin Bieber had sex with a woman? Sex, because thats what it is.

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Whats Black and hangs from a tree? A Tire(:

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She was shot Knock knock Who's there? Sally Aren't you dead? Oh yeah K Well imma go be dead now Have fun K

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Why did Susie fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Why did Susie drown? Because she fell in a puddle. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzy!

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What did the homeless child get for Christmas? Jumped.

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A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs is both the same.

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Soo if ur on a jet ski and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? Pickle.

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what did the caterpillar say to the butterfly? Im gonna turn into you.

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My penis is small, Just kidding, it's huge.

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Latvia isn't a joke

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A dyslexic man walks into a saloon and asks for a hair cut.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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