Did you hear about the man who thought his wife was trying to kill him? He's dead.

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what do u get when two cars collide... a bunch of mexican

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Why couldn't the blonde read the road map? Because she was blindfolded and tied up in the trunk.

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Guy 1: "Hey, you have some updawg on your face." Guy 2: "Oh, thanks. Did I get it?" Guy 1: "Yeah, I think so."

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

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Christians

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What did one musician say to the other? "We should have gone to college."

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What is brown and sticky? A chocolate ice cream made with too much margarine and not enough of the ice mixture used to make Mr Whippy

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what did the guy say on friday ? ah man im so glad its not monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday saturday sunday he then threw a horse at a plane while moonwalking on a star that was riding a duck that was on a rabbit. Sir jumpalot was working overtime as he had to pay for a free phone

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Mmmmmmmmbutch

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Why did the man loose his balls? he had testicular cancer and had to get them removed.

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Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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How are you supposed to breath with no air? um jorden sparks you dont?

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A kid wanted to change the channel... One thing leads to another.

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whats long and green? weed

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road... Because he got hurt last week while crossing the road.

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Whats the worst part of your school burning down? A: The burnt pizza.

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A black man walks into a bar. He is then beaten upon and hung, as this is the 50s.

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whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 magnum and murdered her violently.

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why did the disabled man go to the shops? because he wanted a radiator panel

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u are so............................................................................................................................................................................................gay

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Looks like this is a *puts on sunglasses* Pair of sunglasses

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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