Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: She got hit in the face with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down

7

thumb_up thumb_down -11,865

A man walks in to a wooden door. He's blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +152

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He had a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: what are very funny A: Jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Roses are black Violets are Black I'm Hellen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Miscarriages.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.

thumb_up thumb_down +14,097

Why is Travis so hilarious? ....Trick question hes not.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

cats, swimming, northpole ,sky, park , tree , bench, anti joke. shut up you have a skin disease!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why couldn't little Jimmy see his mum in the crowd? Because he was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Who's fat? Holly Davis.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

In Soviet Russia you drive car, because a car driving you would be screwed up.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A black man without problems.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A white guy, a mexican, and a black guy are in a race. Who always wins? Whichever one crosses the finish line first

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What comes after 69? 70

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? The horses name was Friday.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Jessica walks into a bar jokes jessica cant walk

thumb_up thumb_down +37

So a Dog walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of skotch, the bartender realizes he must be dreaming. At that very moment he realises he is in a lucid dream. Since this is the case he decides to murder his wife who is in bed right next to him as an expiriment. Since its a lucid dream it doesnt matter. Next he goes down to the fridge and pulls out some old pizza. He sits down for about half an hour eating it along with a box of tuis that also magically appeared in his fridge. Then he goes outside steals the neighbours car takes it for a ride to his Sister-In-Laws house who he has always wanted to root. He goes over breaks the window with his hand. The lucid dream feels so real to him because he pains from the glass in his hand and then he goes up stairs finds his sister-in-law sleeping so he hops into bed with her. At the same moment the police arrive because they followed him from his home were they recieved complants they heard him kill his wife. Everything starts to turn into a nightmare, so scared he trys to make himself wake up. However he cannot. This is not a lucid dream. This is reality. Pizza was in his fridge because he had it for dinner the night before, Beer did not magically appear. his wife had bought it when she went gorccery shopping. He killed his wife, then stole his neighbours car and attempted to rape his Sister-in-law. So now he is going to jail. And no lawyer wants to take up the case so this man is doomed. No hope at all of ever being a free man again

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chandelier fall on the little boy? Hell if I know, the only person who saw it got hit by a chandelier and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A: Knock knock B: Who is it? A: You'r wife. B: My wife? A: Yes! B: Ok, then i think i pass that question.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

what do you call a black man driving a police car? a cop

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you get a blind man out of a tree? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops