What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're allergic to flowers So this poem will kill you

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Finding TWO worms in your apple.

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What do you call your mum without an umbrella? Saturated Fat

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What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

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A married couple is arguing over the temperature in their house. The wife wants it at 62 degrees and the husband wants it at 74. What should they do? Nothing while they are arguing their daughter decides to put it at 32 and freeze them to death

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And then the devil said "Let there be Justin beiber"

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A Black Guy, A Mexican, A White guy, an Indian guy, Santa Clause and The Easter Bunny Jump off a 500 foot cliff. Which one dies? The all do. But Santa dies first because of his weight and mass.

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What lives underground? Grandpa

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What did the chipmunk say to the nut? I'm gonna eat you.

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Whats worse than not having cellphone service? Having sex unwillingly with a stranger then getting pregnant at the age of 13.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? I didn't do it right.

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Q. What goes "ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP"? A. Nothing does.

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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Q: You know what's really funny? A: A good joke.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Give this a thumbs up cuz mi spelin is baad

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting yours asshole clawed by a grizzly

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Why was the asian boy get straight A's? He paid attention during class, took good notes, studied at home, and had a personal drive that lead him to be a good student.

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What do you call a black lifeguard? Ironic.

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What is the best thing about dating a slut? You can return her at Build-a-Hoe Workshop.

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Wanna hear a joke!? Miley Cyrus.

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- *Commits Suicide*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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