There once was a man from Nantucket. He had no distinguishing characteristics whatsoever.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

thumb_up thumb_down

What does little Tommy and a tomato have in common? They are both vegetables. Oh wait, a tomato is a fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Your mom goes to college. Actually, she graduated a while back!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats the difference between a house and a truck? Ones a truck the other one is a house

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walked into a house, He never came back out as he fell down the stairs and snapped his neck, His family mourn him everyday.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

1: Knock. Knock. 2: Don't come in I'm naked.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Hey girl, the word of the day is "legs". So let's go home and research the origin of the term and possibly conduct other etymological studies.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you get when you cut a stick of butter? a butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the black guy not have friends He was socialy awkward

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's worse than biting into a worm and finding an apple? Why would you bite into a worm?

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you stop a baby from crying? You hit it with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what do we want a cure for turrets! when do we want it C U NT !!!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was Sally lying on the ground? Cause she was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +5

yo mama so fat, she weighs 478 pounds and is in high risk of cardiovascular dieses and/or heart failure.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did jonah say to your mum ... Nothing jonah is your mum

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the small child fall down the stairs? Because he had lung cancer was in a wheel chair and I was incredibly tempted to push him down the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How are you? Yes

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: What's white, black, and red all over? A: The yellow brick road

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops