What did the cow call the hen? A hen, what else would you call it?

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Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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"If life was fair, I would have a girlfriend" - William Deane

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what happened to the boy who asked for a hit from the bong? he got punched in the face.

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How could the teacher tell that the student was dead? logic

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

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Why did Jack explode? He had a sneezier and his army friend Stephan threw a grenade at him because he was scared.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I picked them in the meadow this morning

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Why is yellow afraid of 7? Impossible. Colors have no sense of fear.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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What do you call a Mexican named Chicee? Chicee

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How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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What do you call an unfunny comment that demeans a group of people? Bigotry

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If you just read this, You're dead.

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What did zero say to ten? I see you found someone

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what has two lags and red all over? :a cat in a chinies restrunt...

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what did one soldier say to the other... dude take your finger out my a** it has been that long

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What did the black guy say to the japanese ninja with super fighting skills? Nothing, because he neck was sliced before he could.

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Q:Why couldn't the baby walk down the hall way? A: It had a javelin stuck in its head.

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Yo mamma so crazy She chloroformed a 4 year old and put her in her trunk and no one has ever heard of her since.

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There was a small boy with a lollipop and a spinning hat. He died of lieukemia.

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Knock knock Who's there? Amy winehouse Amy winehouse who? Amy winehouse died by falling down a flight of stairs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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