What's got eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs head.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant scorpion.

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint.

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What happened when the prisoner dropped the soap? He picked it up.

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what is the difference between a puppy and a baby... ...they are different animals

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AWWWWWW YEEESSSS!!!

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You know what's worse than finding a real joke on antijoke.com? AIDS

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What did the racist slave owner do when his slave refused to complete his task? Asked him nicely until the task was completed.

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human centipede

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your mommas so fat i like fat cows is she home?

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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Three men, a doctor, a lawyer, and a biker were sitting in a bar talking over a few drinks. After a sip of his Martini, the doctor said, "You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I bought my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedes. I figure if she doesn't like the diamond ring, then at least she will like the Mercedes, and she will know that I love her." After finishing his scotch, the lawyer said, "Well, on my last anniversary, I bought my wife a string of pearls and a trip to the Bahamas. I figured if she didn't like the pearls, then at least she would have enjoyed the trip, and she would have known that I loved her." The biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said, "Yeah, well for my anniversary, I got my old lady a t-shirt and a vibrator. I figured if she didn't like the t-shirt, then she could go f*** herself."

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Why did the man stop smoking? Because he was shot in the face.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Person1: Man I had the worst day ever. Person2: Worser than the holocaust.

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7

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whats first than finding a worm in your apple? a blonde who asks you why there is a worm in your apple

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? a deer...

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how many dead babys can fit in a bathtub 17

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing situation.

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One time i was sitting down

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken would greatly appreciate it if you stayed out of its personal life.

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Q: What has the exact same colors as the gay flag but are sometimes hilarious? A: Clowns.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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