the lemon was sweet.

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How did Elmo get his show? Because the kids loved his furry ass and hoped to be on with dorthy

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

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Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? a bench is a structure designed for sitting and a Mexican is a person born in Mexico.

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My friend billy had a ten foot.... Garden hose. Upon showing it to the neighbour next door he hit it with a rake which significantly shortened it and subsequently had to buy another

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What happened to the man that jumped off the cliff. He died....

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I have CDO it's like OCD but in the right order

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Your mom is SO ugly, I entered her in an ugly contest, and she came in fourth place!

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Did you know that if you rearrange the letter in "Gill Lube", you can spell "Gullible"?

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Why do flamingos hold up one leg?f If they held up two they'd fall down.

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Why would Obama like to be ahead of some guy's poll and bent over at the same time? Because being ahead in someone's poll is encouraging news for his election campaign and bending over is part of the exercise program he uses to stay in shape.

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"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

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What was Hellen Keller's dogs name? dhfgbvskjne How did Hellen Keller's dog die? Natural causes.

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What did the farmer say when he didn't like his tractor? Man, i don't like this tractor

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What do you give a Penn State waterboy for Halloween - Candy

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jesus can walk on water but chuck norris can swim through land

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A: Knock Knock B: The door is open please come in.

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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Why did Michael Jackson become white? He thought he saw a ghost.

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What do superheroes say after they save someone? Whatever the hell they want.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because not only was she deaf and dumb, but she was also blind and it's not possible to drive if you are blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops