There was a hundred dollar note lying flat on the ground. The homeless guy didn't pick it up and walked on because he didn't see it.

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David: Hey dude, I'm so hungry! Jose: Yeah me too David: Wanna get some food? Jose: No, I lied.

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Gabe Mercado

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What did Santa say to the prostitute? "Merry Christmas!"

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Why couldn't the black man swim? He has no legs.

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Knock knock. Who's there? To. To who? To whom.

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Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

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Hai Patrick Hai Patrick

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your mom is so ugly when she entered an ugly contest they said... ok

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I've never seen a zebra use that crossing.

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Q: how do you fit 100 jews in a car A: 3 in the back one in the passenger seat and 96 in the ash tray

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verry nice how mUCH?

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Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

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who touched the priests sticky hand? Jake Duncan

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Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

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why was the woman in the kitchen? she was being held hostage there by Bob Saget

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What did the black jewish homosexual say to the conquistador? Nothing as they were both from entirely different time periods.

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What's wheels and has green? Lied, I grassed about the wheels.

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Why did the Football Coach go to the Bank?? To Cash his Paycheck.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck could chuck oak? Well, If an oatmeal man could oat chuck oat, then a wood oat chucker could chuck oats.

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I bit a horses leg. Why? Because I thought i was a vampire. I also bit my sisters glodfish in half.. Why? Cause I wanted revenge on my sister.

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Q: what do you call a black guy on the moon A: An astronaut you resist bastard

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in New York? He woke up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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