A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to form the basis of an extremly popular jokewhich would grace the schoolyards around the world for centurys to come!

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How does a black man cut his hair? At a hairdresser

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A woman is shopping at a grocery store. She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line. "You must be single." the clerk says. Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?". "Because you're ugly".

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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Why was bobby late for school? Because he drove off a bridge.

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How do you drown in a tea cup? You find a big enough tea cup.

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Dylan is a person

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And so the Lord said unto John "Come forth and receive eternal life," but John came fifth, and won a toaster instead.

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Jimmy Saville

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i am an idiot if you read this outloud your a dumb ass

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Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

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Why couldn't the baby walk through the door? Babies can't walk

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What made Chuck Norris cry? Stubbing his toe

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what's white and sticky? mayonnaise.

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Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

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Why'd I have sex with your mom? I'm your father and I love your mother very much

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What do you call a Mexican playing basketball? A man of hispanic heritage that enjoys the sport of basketball.

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Why are soccer players sad? They couldn't play Football.

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9/11

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Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Oh shit my gardens on fire

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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