Roses are red, Violets are blue, I´ll give anything to be screw by you.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John, your son. Now open the door.

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what's black and white and red all over? a zebra in a blender

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A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

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What did the Norwegian say to the Englisman? ØLølølølÅæåøåæøåæåæåæåæåæåæåæå

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Knock Knock Whos there? It was the unexpected arrival of his wifes lover who'd been having an affair with her for over a year She thought her husband would be out and forgot to tell him not to come The husband started breaking down in tears whilst throwing insults at both of them, grabbing the man by his collar and throwing him on the ground he started to kick his head in The man died and the husband and wife divorced, theres now a bench in the mans local park dedicated to him.

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Q: What do AIDS and rape have in common? A: If you play guard for the Lakers, neither will affect you.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far from its body.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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nobody move! I've dropped my brain.

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Hey, the eighties called, they were really excited about inventing a phone that could call the future.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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What did the chilean guy told to the other chilean guy? Hola!

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Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

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I took my father out last night. We went to the Olive Garden.

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I tried frying some fish today, and it started sizzling at me. I took it as a direct threat and started yelling at the stove. Eventually it stopped and dinner was ruined, but I was proud of myself for winning.

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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Three Jews are hiding under the floorboards. One of them makes a noise and a second Jew elbows him so he'll keep quiet. They are heard and are all caught. It's now their turn to seek because they are playing Hide n' Seek.

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Why did the long term smoker suddenly stop smoking? Because he had a heart attack.

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roses are red violets are blue if i had a gun i would shoot you

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why did the girl fall off the swing..? because she became unbalanced and the force of gravity extended on her was too great to prevent the fall

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Why did the boy let the falling brick hit him in the head? He had no legs, so he could not move

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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