Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar.

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Why did the man have sex with other men? Because he was homosexual.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was thrown out of the way

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What did the family in debt get for Christmas.....a eviction notics.

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What has eyes but can not see, and rolls everywhere it goes? A man who fought for your freedom and lost both his eyesight and legs in doing so. Have some respect.

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Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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How do you stop a man from jumping off a building? Push him off a building.

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What do you call an englishman who wakes up in Africa Confused

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Why wad six afraid of seven? Because seven was a sexual offender.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Billy Sup Billy, come on in!

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If I had a dollar for every funny joke on this site... I would have quite a few dollars. I would't be rich, but I'd have enough money to pay for me and three friends to go see a movie. So I'm talking like $40-$55, give or take. However, do keep in mind that that cost does not include the purchase of any popcorn/food/beverages.

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what happend when the car hit the wall? it exploded and 4 people were injured, 2 were bystanders

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

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What do a blond and a jar of marmalade have in common? Nothing, they are completely different.

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What is fat and ginger? No...Not Garfield...Rebeka Tims

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink.

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The BCS

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How many fools does it take to change a light bulb? A lot.

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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I went to church.. i didn't get raped. I went to school... I didn't get raped. I went into a back alley... I didn't get raped. I went home... I didn't get raped. Today was better than yesterday...

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What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? Its funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small. Also dinosaurs can't even talk!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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