do you have a pen i can borrow? yeah, here.

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yo mummas so FAT to get to the other side

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They are obviously different species but they both have wings and are birds and are actually pretty similar. Geese are usually bigger though I guess.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What do people say? words.

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There once was a baby named Paul Bunyan who was as big as a house. His mother died at childbirth.

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Do you know what a zombie smells like? Death

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Guy1: Hey! Do you want to hear a potassium joke? Guy2: Sure! Guy1: K

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penispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenis

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Why did the leprechaun cross the road? If you still believe in leprechauns, you need to see a doctor.

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Like this joke

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What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

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Whats red and tastes like parsley? Not Red Parsley

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your skull would make a nice pen holder

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van.

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OR SOMETHING! VOLUME ONE SPECIAL ALPHA MAN EDITION: What do you do if you are in the jungle, and surrounded by a tiger, and a jaguar and have only one bullet left in the rifle? You shoot the damn jaguar in its tire, and RIDE THE GODDAMN TIGER BACK HOME! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! THE FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD R*PIST!(Yes I also wrote the original kay?)

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Q: what's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon A: well the first noticable difference is that the watermelon tastes better.

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why am i so sexy? I was raised by a dog.

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Dear 6, Please stop spreading rumors about me. I heard you do some pretty nasty things with 9. Sincerely, 7

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What did the man say to his father? You are not my mom.....

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What's dried up and smells like potatoes? Potato ships and school french fries.

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why was Logan sad? he was raped by his daddy multiple times

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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