What do you call a man with a horse? A man

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2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

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roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

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Why was 9 afraid of 1? Because when dialed together, an emergency call was most likely coming and 9 is very sensitive to those types of moments

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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i hate this glue. give me one new or i will poo.

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A ginger man ascends to heaven and reaches the pearly gates, seconds later he wakes up in a hospital bed and realizes it was merely a near death hallucination and God isn't real.

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If a quiz is also referred to as a quizzicle, then what is a test also referred to as? A test, really. There are no synonyms for 'test' which would result in a humorous punchline; 'exam,' 'essay' and 'evaluation' are the closest possible answers and none of them provide humor at all.

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what did the white guy say to the black guy? nothing because hes racist and hates blacks people

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Q: What Did Alakazam Use To Listen Gangnam Style? A: He Used Psybeam.

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him access to food stamps

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your momma is so dumb.. ... because she was a slacker in high school but then turned her life around and is now a respected member of society

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Why do they call it lunchmeat? Because it is meat that you eat at lunch.

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haha

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How many squirrels does it take to screw out a light bulb? None because squirrels lack the strength and mind set to screw out a light bulb.

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Q:Why did the kid drop his ice cream A:He was hit by a car

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What would the Swatch be called if it was made by a Croatian company? A Crwatch.

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Why couldn't johnny go home? Someone commited arsen and burned it down.

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can people thumb up the evil dead statment below please... its important to me. (and the cup joke below) thanks people , ur great.

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Why was the penguin popular? He cuts himself.

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What happened when the Mexican man contracted the muscles of his large bowel after a large meal? Shit made its way to his anus

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Roar, roar! I am the king of the jungle! But did you know the lion would be defeated by a polar bear in a battle between the two?

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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Robocop and T-800 where fighting, first the T-800 manages to injure Robocop critically, but Robocop manages to repair himself and break T-800`s legs off, which T-800 suddenly regrows due to an unexpected upgrade. After several hours of combat, where civilians are injured and half the town is destroyed they where both worn out, but ready for one last struggle... ...Eventually there was a great celebration for whoever won.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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