What do you do when you eat a loaf of bread? You throw it up because your brother made it

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what kind of mexicans are NOT in the U.S. -legal

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Why did susy give up in the corner? Cause she couldnt fight off the black man.

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How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm? You look for the black guy.

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What's the difference between a dead cat and a dead woman? It is much more unlikely that you would have sex with a dead cat.

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What can Harry Potter NOT see with his glasses? His parents...alive.

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Why don't black people ever defend themselves on anti jokes? Because black people are slaves.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A duplicate joke on anti-joke.com in an attempt to get thumbs up. Sad, sad people...

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What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

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Did you hear the one about the Gay Irish Politician who was running for President?! He withdrew his candidacy.

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How do magnets work?

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I like my women how I like my coffee; without a penis.

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Just admit it. one time in ur life u pretended that the floor was lava and the only way to survive was on the couch.

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A man runs into a bar. He is instantly knocked out.

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Roses are red My bulb is blue My pants are extending When I look at you

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Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

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How do you make a bowl of cheese? First you get a bowl. Then insert the cheese.

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How do you make a mimer to speak? Shot him in both knees and cut of he's ear

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Who comes up with terrible jokes and then mentions the name of the person they are talking about like a bitch? Both of us, Dylan.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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why did the chicken cross the road? I don't care! What are you doing in my house?

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A skeleton walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face? the skeleton replies I have aids.

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Student: May i go to the toilet? Teacher: What for? Student: To open the chamber of secrets!

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Why did the girl eat a cookie? Because cookies are good.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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