What's the dumbest animal in the rainforest? A polar bear.

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Your mom is such a big whore that she sleeps with your dad.

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Whats SxB-Tin+Shack+b= SB FUCKING B

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because it never told anyone. Chickens can't talk.

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It burns when I pee sometimes.

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women's rights

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What has four wheels and smells like an asshole? YOU.

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binladin walks into the american seals

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What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Road Kill Penguins.

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Why did the teenage boy touch himself at night? Because he was shot in the stomach by his drunken father and was trying in vain to stop the bleeding.

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You know I can, and I already have, as once the mind knows its getting certain medications, it spends the energy required in order to achieve the effect, this is what psychiatrists and those assholes would call "psychological effect". With that said, I am still tired, and the stimulants are waking up my ouchies too, so I think ill get some sleep and dont worry, I can sleep with any stimulants as long as I can use my mind. By the way, my "hypnosis senses" are not hypnosis by themselves, but in order to hypnotize oneself and other, one must learn to read body language and stuff like that, something which I now do subconciously because I am experienced. Alice is calm again, her hands are shaking but she is cold, I am pretty sure she is far more tired than I am, so I kinda ordered her to go home, this guy can type for me. Just want you to know that I am doing fine now, and that the PTSD is much less severe than before as my brain no longer remembers the voice and looks my parents had back then, so I just feel my nose getting punched and breaking, its... Surprisingly annoying, so ill get some sleep, if nothing else it will help Alice get better, and I wont lie, I need it.

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what do you get when you cross a scotsman who doe'snt know anything about football,and a indian who doe'snt anything about football .blackburn rovers , and a good night out.

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Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

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A group of young men walks into a bar. They drink some booze, laugh, have a great time and then go home to sleep.

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John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

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Wanna hear a Harry Potter joke? Knock Knock Who's there? You know You know who?

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What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot.

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I jacked off over a blind girl the other day, she never saw me coming

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A fish walks into a bar

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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What do you think about whats happening in the middle east right now? You're an idiot.

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You know whats worse than finding a fly in your soup? 9/11

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly shits on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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