How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? It depends on their painting skills.

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Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

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Is your refrigerator running? no then your food is probably beginning to rot

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first one says, "Pass the soap." "No soap, radio," replies the second one. "Oh, you want me to turn on the shower radio?" "Yeah, it's too quiet in here. I could use some tunes." The first polar bear turns on the radio. "Now pass me the soap, please," he says. The second bear passes him the soap, he washes his face and neck, and then they both get out and towel off. The second bear switches off the radio before they leave the bathroom.

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Why did Timmy stop running? He got hit by a bus

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I heard a joke one time about a Rabbi, a Priest, and a little boy. It wasn't funny.

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A man calls customer service. A man in India helps him with his problem.

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if you read this you are gay

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What did the diabetic boy with Celiac get for christmas? A gift from his loving parents.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Bring him to shore and, if you are certified, perform cpr.

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Want to hear a cat joke? Just kitten.

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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Q: Why was Luigi sad? A: Because he entered the Twilight Zone.

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Well that explains a lot, thank you.

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What walks on four in the morning, three at noon, and two at night? A baby with leprosy.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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How do you make Samuel L. Jackson cry? Trick question...Samuel L. Jackson don't cry. ever...

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what do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating thats odd.

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Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark. Because he's a grown man, and most grown men aren't afraid of the dark.

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Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

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What do you call a building full of Mexicans? JAIL.

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What did the convicted child molester say to the little girl? Nothing, they cut his tongue out in prison.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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