what did the dog say to the cat nothing because dogs can`t talk and if they could talk the cat wouldn`t understand him because cats can`t talk

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Why did a boy get slapped in the hand? A; because he had it in the persons face

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ROSES ARE RED VILOIT ARE BLUE MY NAME IS MISIMOA AND I SMELL LIKE POO

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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What do you put your key on? A key chain.

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hi charles lattuca III

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What’s funnier than cancer? Most things, really.

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why did the woman walk into the kitchen? i don't know, but the better question is why she left in the first place.

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What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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What do you a call a guy on steroids? A Body Builder

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Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

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Q: how do you spell apple without any letters? A: you can't.

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What has eight wheels and cost more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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What is red and green, red and green, red and green? A frog in a blender.

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What's worse than AIDS? Not getting your sandwich.

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your mom is so stupid, she once wrote a math test and didn't do very well.

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What would an ice hockey player do if the ice melted? Walk off, as the ice is only 3/4 of an inch thick.

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What do you call a man who buys flowers, chocolates, and new jewelry for his wife? A kind, considerate husband.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his donkey? "Oh no, my donkey is my livelihood and the only means I have of supporting my family. Now, we shall surely starve."

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What do Ed Milliband and David Milliband have in common? They are brothers.

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wats worse than gettin bitched at by ur mom? gettin raped by a giant scorpian n getting SUPER ULTRA MEGA AIDS

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I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

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why can't Hellen Keller hear? she is deaf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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