Tiger Woods isn't a Tiger, He's a lion cheeta.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -The Pizza you ordered. -Oh thank you very much. -That'll be $10. -Here you go. -Thank you very much, sir. Enjoy your meal.

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A: make me a sandwich woman! B: your a sandwich.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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Why did the woman spray a black man in the eyes with pepper spray, then promptly run away? Because the woman was a notorious criminal and was currently robbing the man's house, but was caught in the act so she used pepper spray as her last line of defense while she fled from the scene before the man could call the police to detain her and put her in prison for her crimes.

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What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs. It doesn't matter what you call him he still won't come.

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I have a very serious problem with my narcolepsy. I occasionalolahdf;honainbirgnipqgierngiaqbhgpqruiph

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Two men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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Like this joke, bitch.

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What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

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What is worse than finding 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? Finding 1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Whats brown, large, thick, and sticky? a stick

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why is a squirrel called a squirrel? that's its name.

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What did Santa do on Christmas? NOTHING HES NOT REAL!

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In other news, a Florida man was arrested today for stealing candy...with a knife.

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Why did Amy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Amy

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven. Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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How many feminist does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in, the other to suck a dick.

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What's the difference between a monkey wrench and a snow cone? A lot.

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Ps: Its "Cain" again, just for matters of security here, how did he install power wires under the basement? How are you even able to use your computer over there?

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Actually, Ylvis had a dog named Say. When he peed in the studio one evening, Ylvis said, "What the fuck, Say?"

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Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? So nobody finds he's been fucking hens.

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Q: Why didn't Little Jhonny go to school today? A: There was no school today.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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