What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I'm homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you call a gay kid? KIRK, SAV, FRANK, or even KIRKLE THE TURTLE

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Oliver's friends

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, you're being audited.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Rich people gave money to charity Charity gave money to the homeless The homeless spent the money on drugs

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why do mexicans have so many children??? Because condoms resemble skinny balloons.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's 2+2? It's certainly not 1.

thumb_up thumb_down -112

Who killed Lincoln Nobody knows

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a Muslim driving a plane? You don't drive a plane.

thumb_up thumb_down +106

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

How do you sleep? With a knife I just saved a lot of money by switching to Geico......with a knife I'm going to the restroom, with a knife. How do you do a back flip with no hands? With a knife. What is 2 plus 2? The answer is 4, with a knife. Would like you like to go see a movie with me...with a knife? Today, I'm going to show you how bake a strawberry chocolate cake...with knife. I'm sorry, you have the wrong number...with a knife. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side....with a knife. A man walks to a bar and orders a shot of vodka....with a knife. Omg, I just saw Miley Cyrus at the mall today....with a knife. In Soviet Russia, blah blah blah, with a knife. How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? 1, with a knife. I'll be back in time for dinner, I'm going to the gym and work on my abs....with a knife.

thumb_up thumb_down +124

Your mama is so poor that she is on welfare, but she is ashamed to tell you and cries herself to sleep every night.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Phillip has 200 pieces of candy, Phillip eats 185 pieces of that candy, what does Phillip have left? Diabetes, Phillip has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What do you call a Black pilot? A pilot! What else would you call him, racist!

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Yo mamma's so stupid, she dropped out of college.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Sean Nuneviller look him up, he's cute.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Your eye color is very unique.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

knock knock whos there not me

thumb_up thumb_down -31

There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... They all died in a horrible train wreck.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what's worse than getting a bad test grade? being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops