have you ever heard of the mexican that went to college...no...oh me neither

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Where did the kid go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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Why was the ginger walking around in bare feet? He had no sole.

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Why couldn't the little boy find his friend in hide and go seek He was blind

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Why did the chicken cross the border? Because he was an immigrant and was afraid of the police.

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I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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A Rabbi, a Priest, and an Atheist walk into a restaurant. They receive terrible service, and do not leave a tip.

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What did the Spanish immigrant say? Olah.

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Well I do want it to end now but...WHAT? How did you get that trough? I thought hypnosis was supposed to increase awareness and focus.

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Your mom's so fat, I tried to rape her but couldn't find her p**** and gave up. Instead I decided to take her out to dinner. We enjoyed a lovely meal and I spent the rest of the night trimming her fat with a vegetable peeler while she screamed and bled all over the floor.

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Knock knock Who's there? Dishes Dishes who? Dishes a bad joke

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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If you have alzeimers, wait, never mind i forget.

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Ted Haggard.

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,Do you know what hapened to the janitor who cleaned the school halls? He finished the job, got paid a reasonable amount and went home to his average family.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Knock, knock! Who's there?! Your Mom! Your Mom who? No really. Let me in.

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What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? Broken.

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What's 8 inches long and makes my girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage

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why did susie fall off the swing? she had no arms and no legs. knock knock who's there? not susie

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i love weed i fuc king really do i fuc king love smoking weed with you.And i love a fat spliff and i love a fat bong why cant we all just sing along!!!

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Me: Hey mom Mom: Hey Son Me: Whats? for dinner? Mom: I dont know

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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