-Knock Knock -Whos there? -The police -OH SHIT

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

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What is the difference between Chuck Norris and a frog one wears pants and the Chuck Norris doesn't.

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whats the difference between chuck norris and a normal human being? nothing

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Why was the bus driver sad? The kid with the icecream had c4 strapped to his chest.

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There is a blonde, a redhead, and a brunnette stuck on a deserted island. the redhead gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk the 100 miles back to shore. she begins swimming, gets 10 miles out, gets tired, and drowns. the brunnette gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk it too. she gets 50 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The blonde decides to escape as well. she is able to swim 98 miles, gets tired, and swims back.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KGB Yes, How can I help? We are looking for a local serbian mobster who we believe to be hiding in this Village have you seen this man. No I cant say I have. Sorry Well thank you for your time and if you notice anything please try and let the local Police know.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Q: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: The pizza does not scream in the oven.

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Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

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What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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How do you shoot an eagle? You don't. The eagle is going too fast for you.

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why did susie fall off the swing? she had no arms and no legs. knock knock who's there? not susie

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There were two mufins in an oven. They did not say anything because muffins are incapable of speech.

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what's the difference between "rita , sue and bob too ," and rocky II ? rocky II is about boxing

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Yo momma is so fat, that after boarding an airplane the flight crew respectfully asked her to deboard, as with her on board the plane would be exceeding the reccomended weight, and thus be unable to fly safely.

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6

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a Mafia boss so they put him in prison.

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That is so sweet of you, for a moment I thought I had said something that might have insulted you, but then again, considering the length of the message I see why it took so long.

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What group of people do the police target? Criminals.

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What's my name? I don't know i was asking u.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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