A Polar Bear walks into a bar and says to the barman: "Barman! Give me a whiskey and ............................................................coke." The barman says: "Why the big pause?" to which the Polar bear replies: "Well uhm my father had big paws"

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are being pursued by the cops. They run into an old barn for a place to hide. They each hid in a different potato sack. The cops enter the barn, and seeing no one, leave and continue the search somewhere else. The three girls flee the country and give up their life of crime. The cops later go get some donuts.

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Why was the asian bad at sex? Because he was 5 years old

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What do you call a mexican and a African? Two people with no water.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Why was the swing in the kitchen?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Q) What is the difference between an elephant and a toaster? A) Do you seriously not know the difference between an elephant... and a toaster?

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There was a man with a job and kids. One day he came home from his job and went to sleep. He never woke up because it turns out he had a heart attack.

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Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

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What was the mentally challenged kids first word? He was retarded so it wasn't a word.

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A Nazi walks into a bar. No one really knows he's a Nazi and he doesn't talk about it that much in public, so he chats to some people then leaves after a few beers...

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terry stockton is straight

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The man says to the doctor "Sir, I have contracted a terrible headache." The doctor replies back, "Yes you do."

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What can a bench do, that a south African man cant? Support a family. (I HOPE THAT WASN'T RACIST)

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What did the fat man say when he was offered infinite french fries for life? Yes.

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Which is longer? A rope...

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Q) What did the farmer say who'd lost his tractor? A) Where's my tractor?

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What you you call peanut butter on the top of a dog house Peanut butter

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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What's the best time to go to the dentist? Whenever your appointment is scheduled.

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Why did the creator of Anti-Joke.com make the website? Because he probably wanted to promote his book and make more money.

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Why did the man jump off the bridge. Because he found his beloved wife cheating on him with his life-long friend that he meet when they both where in pre-school.

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Why did the clown fall out of the helicopter?? Gravity

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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