Why did the black guy buy a jug of grape soda Because he was thirsty

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What did the man do after he rented a movie? He watched it

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Chuck Norris' beard takes 1st 2nd and 3rd in the most impressive beard catagory. He was the only contestant.

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koj yog ib tug tsoob qaib eater, uas nyiam mus rau Peer li qub poj niam qhov chaw mos raws li ib tug nyiam ua! (Google Translate may help)

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A mum and a dad were having guests round for dinner. The daughter overheard them arguing. Dad was calling mum a b*tch and mum was calling dad a b*stard. The daughter asked them what it meant and they just said, "oh, it just means ladies and gentlemen". Later, when mum was doing her makeup, she dropped it and said oh "sh*t". Daughter asked what it meant and mum replked "it's just another word for makeup". After that, dad dropped the turkey and said "oh, F*ck!" Daughter asked what it meant and he replied "its another word for cooking". When the guests arrived, the daughter answered the door, and said "hello b*tches and b*stards. Mums upstairs stuffing sh*t on her face and dads in the kitchen f*cking the turkey".

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LIKE FOR GANGNAM STYLE. DISLIKE FOR JUSTIN BIEBER LETS SEE WHO WINS

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Q. What did Michael Jackson say to the banana? A. Nothing, he's dead.

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Q. What does FIAT stand for? A. Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights.

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How many mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan.

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What has a bomb straped to itself and has wheels? Me. I lied about the wheels.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It couldnt because a chicken was obscuring its path.

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Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

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Susan went to Chemistry class, Susan is no more. For what she thought was H20 was H2S04 (sulfuric acid.)

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Wat do u call a priests shit Holy shit

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Test

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What's worse than losing a basketball game by 1 point? Dying of lukemia.

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Optimus Prime: "GIVE ME YOUR FACE!" Shockwave: "Illogical. I have no face." Optimus Prime: "Then GIVE ME YOUR EYE!" *RIPP*

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a big fat bully!

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A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

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Last christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, you're body rejected the transplant and you died.

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Ask me if I'm a duck. Are you a duck? No.

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Why are some people so barbaric? Because some people are German.

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How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's a trick question: feminists can't change anything.

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Person 1: What's 2+2? Person 2: 4 Person 1: Oh, you already heard that one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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