How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

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How do you know if you have athlete's foot? You ask your doctor, and he will tell you.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender does not ask about its facial characteristics, because he is wondering why there is a horse standing in his bar.

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Two peanuts walked into a bar one was as'salted'

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Hey, Batman Yeah? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents!

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what did the doctor say to the woman? I have 3 testicles

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Do Your Homework: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Get An Award At School: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Figure How To Adjust The Zoom On Your Computer: Mum & Dad - WOW HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH, YOU'RE SO CLEVER, WHO TAUGHT YOU THIS?! Typical ...

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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what's worse then death? finding that your adopted, no one loves you and you mother raped you at the tender age of five.

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8--------------------- penis

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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4 hours later.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He grew tired of hearing the most over-used joke set up in recorded history.

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Why were the police chasing the black man? Because he was in such a poor financial state that the bank foreclosed his house and now he has no source of income and therefore no way to purchase basic living requirements, so he was forced to steal in order to provide food for his family.

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What do a Fascist and a Democrat both have in common? Involvement in politics.

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What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

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A priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar, but they're wearing normal people clothes, so no one notices or says anything funny.

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Why Did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Why did the man drive into the river? He was sleep deprived from working overtime.

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John: what is blue and goes blub blub Phil; I don't know, what? John: a blue blub blub. What is green and goes blub blub Phil; a green blub blub John: no green blub blubs don't exist, what are you stupid?

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have altimers cheese on toast Srry bout the spelling. I couldn't REMEMBER!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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