Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

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Girl: I wrote a poem. Boy: Let's hear it! Girl: I like you, thats a start. You don't, so we are growing apart. In my heart there's a little tear, its funny to see how much you care. I hate the way you played my heart. You never finish what you start. Boy: Cool. Whose is for? Girl: You... Boy: Wow ummm, I have to go to......................yeah bye.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? About 5 or 6. It depends on the size of the car.

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Why did the man have a hole in his head? He was shot.

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what worse the 2 dead kids in a van 3 dead kids in a van

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a beer, drinks it and walks out.

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Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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"knock knock" "whos there?" "pizza delivery!"

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What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

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Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white, and round they'd be called aspirin.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have outsimers Wait what?

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy! But iI'm on bath salts and your face looks tasty!

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Why do black people like Basketball so much? Because it is a sport participated world wide. They just happen to like it too.

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Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

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why did the donkey kick the men bc he tryed to pen the tail on hes ass

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How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

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A mother and father heard their young son sobbing in his room, so they ran upstairs to see what the problem was. When they got to his room, they found the older son was dead and hanging from the ceiling. And the younger son was actually laughing, not crying.

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Why did the girl miss her date? She got killed.

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Knock knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible...

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How do you stop a puppy from barking in the front yard? Put him in the backyard.

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hey guys what's up?

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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