How do you make a boy cry? Pour hot soup on his head.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know ask a second grader.

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minced oaths

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How do you get a one-armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

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How much wood would Chuck Wood have if Chuck Wood could have wood? None, Chuck Wood has E.D.

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BBC have a new porn channel. C Boobies...

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half of a worm in your apple. What's worse than finding half of a worm in your apple? Getting aids from that apple.

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What do you do when a hispanic man takes your wallet? Ask him to please give the wallet back to you

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Whats green and fluffy? Your mom.

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A jew, an Arab, and A Scientist walk into a bar. The arab self explodes and kills them all

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What did the teenage girl text her friend while driving? It doesn't matter, she's dead now. Don't text and drive.

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I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

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The Pope walks into a bar. The bartender says, "what'll ya have, Pope?" But the Pope's grasp of English is tenuous at best, so he mumbles something in Latin. The bartender doesn't know any Latin. The Pope gets frustrated and leaves.

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What do you call most people over 50 who aren't married. Divorced

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What's worse than a paper cut? 2 paper cuts.

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There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

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OMG this actually works! 1. Hold your breath for 5 minutes 2. Die

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, and have a stimulating discussion about economics

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What did one cancer patient say to the other? Nothing, both of them were dead.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing ? Because she lost her balance and the force of gravity put upon her was too great for her to bear, resulting in her fall.

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If Abraham Lincoln were alive today, he'd be really really old.

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Kevin+Sean sitting in a tree enjoying mcdonald's free wifi.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops