The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout. Heavy rain came down and killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Peter

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being raped What's worse than being Raped. Being Raped 2 times by a Giant Scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is worse than failing a class? Dress up for grown-ups.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why don't you play uno with Mexicans? Because they collect all the green cards.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

when a friend comes over and says: hey, do you have a bathroom??? NO!!! I shit in my yard!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Mike Davis from across the street. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call two mexican's jumping the border? people with a hard life trying to get to the new world.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why couldn't the gay man grow a beard? He shaved his face frequently.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you make a black man cry? A: Kill his whole family.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How does a black man make an anti joke? www.anti-joke.com/submit

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. I don't believe you.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is blue and smells like the sea The ocean

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? I don't know. I cant think f anything big and white that fall from trees that can kill you and besides if it is big enough to kill you then you will likely see it and avoid the section of that tree lest the big white object should fall and kill you because of this it is likely that anything that is big and white and falls from trees will in result kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Little Johnny asks his teacher "What's 23 times 3?" She yelled, "Be quiet, Johnny, and grow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I see, said the deaf man to the blind guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No. Oh don't worry then.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A white man applies for a job two weeks later he finds out he lost the job to a hardworking Mexican who went to college and payed his debts

thumb_up thumb_down

Justin beiber's penis

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother?

thumb_up thumb_down +154

why are you reading this? You are bored out of your mind and don't want to do you're homework. and now that you read this, you will realize what you're doing and will now get back to work.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops