You hear about that old man that died on the news? It was my grandfather... oh...

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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This is not a good joke.

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I use to be an adventurer like you! Then I got bored.

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What's more boring than watch grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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Why do cats burp quietly, because they aren't men

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Why did Jimmy cry? His mom raped him.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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i love antijokes

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What did the little boy with cancer do? He died.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who Doctor Octagonapus! BLAAAUUUUGGGHHHH

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What happened to the guy who got bullied? He commited suicide.

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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Why did the bartender cry when a construction worker ordered a Jack and Coke? His son Jack had run away five years ago to sell cocaine; his father hadn't seen him since.

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roses are red, vilots are blue wan't you in my bed if you know what i mean ;)

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Whats he difference between a rock and a dead baby? I'm not spemding the rest of my natural life in an insane asylum for eating a rock!

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A working black man, Santa, and the Easter Bunny where walking down the street and find a penny, who picks it up? The working black man, Santa and the Easter Bunny take no payment for their work.

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What have in common a recently born baby and a quadriplegic blonde person? Both have legs but they cant walk

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What Do you Call Cheese that's not yours (nacho cheese?) *interrupt them violently and stare with crazy eyes!* STOLEN! I was gonna make quesadillas, now no quesadillas for anyone!

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Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

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Felix? The Lucky cat? That is the only thing that comes to mind, I am dead tired, but I really don't mind staying up until I cant anymore physically, as for mentally I am getting pretty bad as for company.

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard? Neither did she.

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What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

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How do you get a clown out of a tree? Shoot him in the head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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