what is green and has weels? grass i was kidding about the weels.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot. You racist bastard.

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did u hear about evan porter going out with his computer of course not because u haven't read this joke yet

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says that there are no dogs allowed, but the man says that he is blind. So the man sits down with his dog and asks for a drink. The bartender decided to check to see if he was really blind, so he says, " Hey, do you know what time it is?" The blind man replies, "7 o'clock," The bartender says, "Ha! You said you were blind! Get out of..." but was interrupted by the man, who promptly said, "No, I'm deaf," and left.

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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why did the chicken cross the road? orange you glad I didn't say banana

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

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what did the man say to the person he hates? nothing!

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What's the difference between jokes and anti-jokes? Anti-jokes aren't funny.

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So, a Bobcat walks into a bar. A few moments later, the bar was empty, save a bobcat and two critically wounded men.

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What is worse than running away from a rapist? Getting raped by a rapist.

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A chicken met a chicken, And they were chickens two, Two chickens met two chickens, And they were chickens too. Four chickens met a boiling pot And they were chicken stew.

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knock knock. who's there myfeth myfeth who myfether came off

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems show me your boobs

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Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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Your eye color is very unique.

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Why are all women bad drivers? All of them aren't.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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Have you ever tried grabbing a bottle of 7-up free and walked away with it? Moral: If it says its free, its free ffs!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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