What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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Why did the man have cold feet on his wedding day? The wedding was outside in the winter.

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What is a mean thing to say to Stephen Hawking? Please take a seat.

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You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such.

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What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

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How do you keep a dog from barking? Kill it.

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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Roses are red. Violets are beer. Kay eckelkamp is in charge here.

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A Horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?". The horse didn't understand English, so he took a shit on the floor, and left.

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Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

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- Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - KGB wh........... *slap* - vwe vwill ask the questions!!!!!!! - Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - Mom the KGB is here again....... - i dont care just answer the damn door - 5 seconds later nobody answers the door....... u here a crash and all of a sudden big men run in with guns - one comes over and slaps the mother while he continues to say " the KGB vwill vwait for no one!!!!!" - every body in the house is shot and and the KGB goees on to tlive normal lives........ for the KGB

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There are 5 men in a desert a black man a white man a gay a lesbian and a white woman they have no food or water and haven't had any in 3 weeks civilization is 1 mile away how many people live and which ones They all die you can only live 3 days without water.

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Why did the jew ask for $10 back after he lent a boy $2? Because of inflation

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

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so if your riding down a big hill in your canoe and your bicycle falls out how many pancakes do you have left? you would have 200 pancakes left --sticksack

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What do you call a black woman that's blind and has 1 leg? Handicapped

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what did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur nothing dinosaurs can't talk

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What is worse than failing a class? Dress up for grown-ups.

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Sarah Jessica Parker

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because a rapist was chasing her

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If Michelle rides her bike at 15 mph for 20 minutes and Erik rides his bike at 20 mph for 12 minutes, why is Michelle not in the kitchen?

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Church.

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What will ur wife say when she finds you in bed with a hore-s.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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