What's purple and in my hand? Nothing i was lying about the purple

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are Red And sometimes yellow My mother is mellow I have terminal cancer. I also fisted my grandpa's anus last night

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's black and blue, and read all over? The Merriam-Webster dictionary.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' Thats fantastic for Peter Piper

thumb_up thumb_down +20

- Why did the man with the big pocket get arrested in Utah? - Because adultery is illegal in Utah.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why didn't little Timmy get anything for Christmas? He was an orphan living on the streets.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gate open and chickens typically wonder with no obvious pattern to their movements.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: why was the girl so dumb A: her teacher was a blond

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Where's the best place to gather black people to roleplay as prison victims for a documentary? Prison or the Graveyard.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A blonde walked into a phone pole.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

last night i was doing some guy in the ass. i went to give him a reach around and the homo had a boner! freakin queer.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call this? A sentence in English.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock, Knock Who's there? Dave. Dave, who? Dave, your neighbor, I ran out of eggs making a quiche, could I borrow a few?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A: Knock Knock B: Who's There? Person B came down with a serious case of amnesia that day and can't remember who anyone is.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +20

If a chicken and a taco cross a highway how many cats does it take to milk a turkey? Cactus cause the dog had two black eyes

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did little Sally say to the clown after the party? 'For someone who specializes in entertaining children of a young age, I am slightly underwhelmed at the degree of humor my friends and I have derived from your jokes today.'

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he was hungry. The teacher would stupid to say it was a piece of cake

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Dick Chaney

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a man who writes anti-jokes? Rhys, because that is my name. thank you

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was the boy sleeping on the curb? he wasn't actually sleeping, he actualy just got hit by a car and had already died.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops