Yo mama so old, she used to babysit Dumbledore

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

A man with a magic watch says to a prostitute, "My magic watch says you are wearing any underwear." "YOU HAVE MAGIC WATCH?! Can it tell time too??!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down

What's more fun than nailing babies to a wall? Ripping them off again.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? If you need an electrician to screw in a lightbulb, you're a moron.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Ask me if I'm a rock. Are you a rock? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did your mom cross the street? She didn't. She was a home. Making me a sandwhich.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What do Obama and George Washington have in common? A: They are both intelligent, trustworthy presidents who truly care for what is best for the United States. Except for Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: Why did the grandma forget to take her pills? A: She died in a tornado

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a horse with wings? Nonexistant. Welcome to the real world kid.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man with a ski mask on enters a bank, he just came back from the slopes.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

how do you kill jesus? with a knife

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you have sex with an amputee? stick it in the eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the man eat the apple? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How are a grape and a duck alike? They're both purple... except for the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A fellow walks into a bar very down on himself, so he goes into the bathroom and hang himself from the pipes.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? This joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Dylan: "I dont understand anti-jokes"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

You are like really sincere aren't you? I really appreciate that in a friend. Thank you for being who you are Nero.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red. I f***** a dude. you're a failed abortion. I never loved you.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops