Q: How do you shoot blue flames from your hands? A: You start to duck and lean forward quickly before you fully reach to duck as you punch as hard as you can, a blue flame should come out as Japanese bullshit automatically spews out of your mouth. It should not take more than a try or two...

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why didn't the black kid make the basketball team? He has cancer.

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A family of aristocrats walks into a talent agency and shows their performance. The talent agent asks: "How do you call yourselves?" They say: "The Aristocrats", "because that's what we are; Aristocrats."

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What does Ke$ha feel like when getting up in the morning? Shit because she has a nasty hangover.

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If a dyslexic man walks into a bar, check your notes. You told the joke wrong.

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What is big, white, and hurts when it falls from the sky? A FRIDGE

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A duck walk into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender hands him a glass and the duck drinks it. After finishing his drink he ruminates about how drowning his misery with booze won't solve a thing in his life. He decided he'll call his ex-wife and apologize and goes back home.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall?

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What is worse than a baby nailed to a tree? The holocaust. What is worse than 20 babies nailed to a tree? A baby nailed to 20 trees.

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A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

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What do u call a black rapper who only raps about sex and money? lil wayne

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Why did the cat eat the cupcake? Cause he was hungry.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot had a seizure.

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Why did sally break her arm? A piano fell on her

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Miley Cyrus is Twerk Queen

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Knock Knock Come in Thank you very much. Don't mention it. Would you like a home made spinach roll?

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"Hey, do you guys wanna hear a joke?!" -no, shut up.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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If life gives you melons you're dyslexic.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and wasting you money

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What's the difference between a Porche and a Pile of dead babies? I don't have a Porche in my garage.

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steven hawking walks into a bar

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How many seeds does a watermelon have? None. It is seedless.

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Q:What's the difference between a lake? A: a tree, because motorcycles dont have doors... :) crf

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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