When life gives you lemons, you throw them at your friends. If they throw them back, duck

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What color is the white cup? It's blue because it has two handles.

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Why are birds purple? because it fits the sky why are bats purple? bats aren't purple

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What do you call an Arab guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow You were probably expecting a poem or something but no this is just a gardening fact

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A fat guy, well over 300 lbs, goes to KFC and orders a big bucket of chicken. He gets his bucket of chicken and goes to sit down on a table to eat his chicken. A man walks up to him and asks him "are you going to share any of that chicken?" The man says "no."

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Four blondes are driving to Disneyland, as they finally got to Florida, they read a sign that said "Disneyland: left" so they turned around and headed home.

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Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

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7

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van.

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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boo

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint.

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What would George Washington do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Knock knock. Who's there? To. To who? To whom.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is Patrick.

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What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? " I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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What's black and hangs from a tree in my yard? A tire, and it also happens to be a swing.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops