Mack: Hello Jonathan: Hi Mack: My name is Mack, what's your name? Jonathan: My name is Billy Mack: You liar! I'm reading this post at anti-joke.com and whenever you reply, your name shows Johnathan! Johnathan: Well Mack, I guess you broke the 4th wall. By the way, this joke is over in 3, 2, 1...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

jess always squints her eyes when making a point

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A Muslim, a Buddhist, and a Christian are on a plain. They have to jump off for some reason. The Muslim straps a bomb to his chest, jumps out of the plain, and screams "AHLA AKBAH"!!!! The Buddhist jumps out and says save me heavenly Buddha. A giant golden hand catches him and lightly places him on land. The Christian says "aw hell with this" and jumps out, then says "save me heavenly Buddha". The giant golden hand places him down gently on land. The Christian then says "thank god". The giant golden hand comes back down and kills him.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse then a missed call from your dad? A missed call from your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you get when you cross a jack-o-lantern and an antelope? Nothing. You wouldn't see an antelope by a pumpkin.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Q: why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You know you have no friends when you write anti-jokes. [M]

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do u get when you cross Napoleon and a stick of dynamite? A very bloody mess.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

boy: you want to hear something funny? girl: what? boy: women's rights girl: you want to hear something trivial? boy: what? girl: your penis

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock Who's there? Father Dougal Mcguire

thumb_up thumb_down +19

You might be a Redneck...if your job requires you to work long hours out in the sun and you do not take advantage of sunscreen.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What is green, and could kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: Why are asians good at math? A: Because they study with their tutor every tuesday

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the only part of a vegetable you cant eat? The wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down +14

No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the boy get from his grandmother on Christmas. Nothing she died on Thanksgiving.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the baby cross the road? Because ti was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

LET

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops