You know whats worse than finding 3 dead children in your house? Finding 2 dead children in your house.

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Q:What did grandma get for christmas? A:a coffen

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Why is there a black president? Cause you voted for him. Thanks! Dick.

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a man walks into a bar... and he says 'ouch!'

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Brian finally kissed a girl on the lips... After her daily whore shift of blowjobs -Ap

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A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

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What is the defference between Obama and an American? Obama doesn't have a birth certificate.

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Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

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your mothers smells so bad,because she has poor hygiene skills

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Knock knock ... Guess they aren't home.

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Why did the girl run over the road? Her buttons rolled to the other side! (From a book called... Al-capone does my shirts) (Natilie)

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Asexuals aren't known for f***ing around.

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What did the blind and deaf kid get for christmas? Cancer.

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A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

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Why did the dog start barking? Because it was a dog.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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how many people can you eat? well, im not canniballistic, so none unless i was starving.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Nothing. Stubbing your toe hurts like hell.

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What's a fat chinaman? A guy who somehow got obese on rice. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?!

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head under water until water gets into her lungs and she cant breathe.

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A black guy walks into a bar. He drinks some wine and exits the bar. -Lets Go Mets, not Yankees

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Imagine Buzz Lightyear standing on the edge of a cliff. He jumps off hoping to fly. He manages to glide for a little bit until a bird crashes into him a cause one of his wings to break. What happens then? Simply imagine him turning into bird.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? REVENGE

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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