Simon says, "I'll give you a five second head start before I mow you down with my AK47."

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

A black man, a jew and a muslim walk into a bar. ... I forgot what happens next, so let's just say they have a good time and get back home safely.

I have the answer to why the child stepped on a ball-he was dumb

i like men but im not gay

Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the KFC man was chasing him.

What black and has children A black man

1+1 =? Too

Why did the tortoise beat the hare. The tortoise had carcinoma thyroid cancer in the renal pelvis uterur.

How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

Want to hear the best joke ever? Me too.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, The Holocaust. And also cancer.

Why doesn't Santa Claus change his socks on Christmas Eve? Because he isn't real.

a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

Lil' Wayne

A man finds an old lamp, rubs it, and releases the genie trapped inside. The genie grants him three wishes. So the man wishes for a million more wishes and uses them all wisely,

How do you get an alien baby to sleep? Well, first you need to get an alien baby.

A pig, a chicken, and a cow are born on 3 separate barns. They are raised by old men who subside off the grains of the field. When the animals mature, the farmers will butcher the pig, slaughter the chicken, and gut the cow. The farmer who raised the chicken may enjoy a few eggs first but the animals will all die eventually. Either of natural causes or more likely being butchered for profit. Cows make milk.

womens rights.

My friend told me to jump right off a cliff That's impossible since this cliff goes left...

Why did the house get trashed? Cause the babysitter was a rooster

What starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'? Porn....

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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