Why did the tree cross the road? A woman crashed into it.

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It's 4/20. You know what that means? Today is a Wednesday

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

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Who was the dinosaurs favorite NBA player? He didnt have one. Dinosaurs became extinct far before the NBA was established.

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Why did the scarecrow win the nobel prize? Cos he was out standing in his field!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.....

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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What did the unicorn say to the man.\ Nothing unicorns don't exist

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Q: How did the black man cross the Atlantic? A: He flew with an airliner, a large fixed-wing aircraft for transporting passengers and cargo.

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why couldn't the blonde change the lightbulb? she couldn't find the leperchaun at the end of the rainbow

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Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England? A: She found out Big Ben was only a clock

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The pen was left open, and it felt slightly curious.

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Knock knock. Stop making puns at my door!

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Yo Aodhan yer hands smell of pish

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Hickory dickory dock. Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one; The other escaped with minor injuries.

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How do you make a nerd cry? Give him a 99% on a test.

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Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

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a jewish man walks down the street a hispanic man walks down the street a black man walks down the street an irish man walks down the street and into a pub

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cory is gay

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! :)

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What happened when the blind man was running toward a cliff. He stopped before he fell.

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A priest and a rabbi attempt to take a whale to a bar. But due to the enormous size and the need for water, the whale couldnt come.

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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