Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

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Yo mama so dirty she takes a shower every night

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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why did the frog cross the road? because he was attached to the duck

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I regret everything.....

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Why did the surfer surf in the ocean without a surfboard? Either he was mentally challenged, simply dreaming, a fish, or most likely did not have a surfboard.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

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People say it's easy to make fun of retarded people. But it's really not. You always have to explain it to them.

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Why did Susie fall off the song? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie

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Stealth baseballs record

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Your mom is so old, -just kidding. I know she died at a young age.

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What do you call an indian driving a plane? A pilot.

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What's big and white and can't climb trees? A mattress

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like to slap hookers

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A blonde, brunette and redhead are walking in the forest when they come across a set of tracks. The brunette says, "Those are dear tracks." The redhead says, "Those are elk tracks." The blonde says, "Those are moose tracks." They are then hit by bus.

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Why did the Mexican mow lawns? He needed money to pay for his college tuition.

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What do a fish and a moose have in common? They both live under water, apart from the moose.

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Two men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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what can you say about a midget dressed as a clown? he had a terrible childhood.

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Why did the fireman die? For various reasons,one was because he was burnt alive.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a load of bread.

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Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

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What's blue and orange at the bottom of a swimming pool? A dead baby, why's it there? I popped the arm bands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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