whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender says, "Why the long face?" and the horse says, "I have cancer."

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-What do you get when you graph the division of x by the square root of 69? - I don't know, what? -I was asking you, as my family's low economic status hinders my ability to buy a graphing calculator.

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Why are black people like trees? Because they fall down if you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Q: What's the difference between a child dressing as a ghost for Halloween and a real ghost? A: About a tablespoon of arsenic.

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Obama

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Except, technically, violets are violet.

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Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

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Time flies like a banana.

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Math Problem: John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Why do white people go to black people's yard sales? Because they know they sale good quality stuff -Travis

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what do call a girl with a waterslide nose? Ava Sherman

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69

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women's rights

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A man decided to enter the local pun contest. He sent in ten puns. One of them was very witty and he won the contest and felt very good about himself.

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If I was a backstabber, you would have been dead already, without me having anything to do with it in the first place, listen, we cannot change the world, those that control the media, control the world. And our role was the opposite, we wanted people to find their individual selves and put their talents for use for themselves and us, today the media tells people who they are, what they like, and what to eat and wear. None of us can do this, point zero is gone, its simply a matter of time, but if you want to try, I can do what I can, in hopes of delaying the inevitable.

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A duck walks into the bar, buys a beer, steals your woman, wins a bar fight, pistol whips a police officer, departs and shouts Aflac

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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Lil Wayne's song 6 foot 7 foot was named after my wewe

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

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A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

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What do you call a man with three arms and three legs and no nose. A highly unlikely instance that no one would believe is real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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