Why did the man get frustrated searching through a box of forks? He was looking for a spoon.

Your mum is so fat, she has a larger bmi than someone with a healthy bmi

She is so fast We call her Email Instead of Emily...

A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Barack Obama walks into a bar. He's black.

Why did Sally fall off the swing set. Cuz she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

Knock knock Who's there Fetty Fetty who? Fetty Wap Hey what's up hello

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? I don't know, I've never tried to.

AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

A white man, a black man, an Asian man, a Mexican man, a subasian man, an Austrailian man, and a Canadian white man. That's it.

What do you call a black piano player? You call him a pianist who plays a black piano. However, that really doesn't seem all that short, so you may just want to call him by his name, whether it be Bob, Jeff, or Ronaldo.

Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

What do Bruce Lee and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both dead

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van.

If you're doing a maths test, what type of pickles are best when licking a baseball bat? Sasquatch

What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

Whats bad about being a black jew? You have to sit in the back on the oven.............

What was the last thing that went into the head of the space pilot of the Challenger shuttle right before it crashed? He was probably thinking about his wife and family...

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A scholarship to a prestigious college that he did not deserve.

Why did the Egyptian woman not manage to work the washing machine? The instructions were in English.

why didn't the girl like that one guy? he hurt her, hurt her real bad.

How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

Have you heard of the dog that sounds like Megan fox? No Oh, well ummm apperantally there's this ummm dog that sounds like Megan fox. So ummm yeah. Pretty interesting stuff

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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