Q: Why is 8 afraid of 9? A:Because 9 killed 8's family

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No

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You're so sweet I have diabetes

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What did the frog say when he heard his family was dead? "ribbit"

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What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

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What did the white man do when he got a black eye? He thanked the gracious african-descented donor, and with a little luck he just might see his beautiful wife and kids again

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The adventures of HAROLD THE MONGOOSE: Harry dug a hole. He did not like that hole so he dug a new one. He liked that hole so he did not dig another one. Harry slept on a rock. He did not like that rock. So he smashed it with a ham. Harry found a new rock. He liked that rock so he didn't smash it with a ham. Harry ate a snake. He did not like that snake so he regurgitated it. Harry ate another snake. He liked that snake so he did not regurgitate it. Harry encountered a bush. He did not like that bush. Unfourtianately for Harry, that Bush became president.

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How do you dance to the black eyed peas? You don't you listen

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The Holocaust.

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How did the stuntman die? He was gored by a buffalo on a trip to Yellowstone.

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Q)why couldn't the baby talk? A)the baby was dead.

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What is brown, creamy, and tastes like gravy? gravy.

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Why did the priest fall onto the alter boy? Because he lost his balance

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding two worms in your apple. and being an orphan.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Buttercups are yellow Thats about it

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Why is this anti-joke here? Because someone submitted it to this website.

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

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You're flying above the Kansas Ocean, you lose your brakes and have to paddle all the way to shore. How many dogs can you fit on a carousel? Blue, because Ice Cream is cold.

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What did one wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls are inanimate objects and thus incapable of conversing with one another.

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, someone keeps shitting in my garden

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Why did the black kid fail in school? Because of the achievement gap.

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What's bigger than a horse ? An elephant.

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There was a man with a job and kids. One day he came home from his job and went to sleep. He never woke up because it turns out he had a heart attack.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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