What did the teenage girl text her friend while driving? It doesn't matter, she's dead now. Don't text and drive.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Jews

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Whats the difference between a cat and a dog? Nothing a cat and a dog is an extremely different species.

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Why shouldn't you download music? Various reasons.

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A duck walks into a bar. the manager kicks him out considering animals are not allowed in the bar.

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What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn red It depends how hard you throw them

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? He was hit by a bus!

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What do you call a black man in a police car? Officer.

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Can I have a dollar? I don't know, can you?

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A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

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Why did the chicken lay an egg? Because she got knocked up.

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How do you make a baby not cry? Do not throw a brick at it. ANTI-JOKE

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Q: What's the difference between Catholism and Judiasm? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

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How do you make Barack Obama upset? Stab him.

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Why didn't the blond resolved the Cold War? Once the blond's socio-economic background was really poor, she didn't have enough education to solve such geopolitical conflict, envolving imperialism, international influence, militar power and scientifical power, still without armed conflicts, as the respective leaders of both United States of America and United Soviet Socialist Republics knew a armed conflict would cost too much lifes, and even in a totally utilitarian society, the benefits of the war to both countries wouldn't be enough to justify the death of thousands. Therefore, its concluded that a meedle class person wouldn't be enough capable to be the charged to solve this kind of tenssion between States, and it would be really silly if someone happened to encharge the blond in issue.

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What do an octopus and a cat have in common? They are both multicellular organisms that are living creatures, and therefore are both sentient and can perform simple tasks and make simple decisions.

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Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

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What's long hard and full of seamen? A boat, or possibly a submarine.

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Whats worse than finding an worm in your apple? 1942 BERLIN

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How did the guy in a wheelchair get up 7 flights of stairs? He didn't.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead..

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Why can't black people get sunburned? Natural selection allowed ancient Africans to develop a darker skin shade that would counter strong UV rays.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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