Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have 2 legs

What did the sheriff call the death of a black man who was shot 14 times? -The worst case of suicide he'd ever seen.

Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

In Soviet Russia it's pretty cold.

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a nintendo wii.

So a gay guy walks in a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind, get out." The gay says he will drink in the corner. Later, a construction worker walks into the bar. He says," Man, I'm so thirsty I could drink the sweat off a cows balls." The gay guy in the corners says," Mooooooooo."

What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

Why did the mass murderer abandon his killing spree? He found out it was illegal.

Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

A Jew man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

What do you call a bear. Rob.

Dr Dr I think I have diarrhea You have irritable bowel syndrome, I recommend IBS support

What did the blond say when she got into a car crash? Nothing, she died.

What's the most confusing day in the ghetto? Fathers day.

So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

Q: What did the angry German man say to the Ameican? A: I dont know, I can't speak German!

why did the pirate not get in to the pirate movie it was rated arrrrrr

There once was a man called steve, His name was steve

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "My son was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer."

Patient: "Doctor, I have a strawberry stuck in my bum" Doctor: "Well, that's an awfully peculiar place to keep a strawberry. What were you thinking?"

Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

Roses are gay, Violets are gay, I am gay.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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