What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

why did the chicken cross the road? I never got to ask it got hit by a car.

whats worse than 9/11? 9/12

A kid goes to the doctor and orders a salad. The doctor replies, "This is a smoking-free environment". The kid puts out his cigar and goes to Olive Garden to get his physical.

Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

Why did the boy tell the fly to eat the cheese? A: because he wanted him to

Shakespeare walks into a bar, Having just seen someone that has been dead for over 400 years, the young man in the corner quits his drug addiction; it was clearly messing with his brain.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was Dead.

why was six afraid of seven? it's a long story, and six doesn't want to talk about it.

Whats more fun than swinging a baby around on a clothesline at 200 miles per hour ? Stopping it with a shovel

knock knock? Whos there? a questionable person. What? exactly.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger! Wrong. What doesn't kill you could leave you in a parapledgic state.

A man said hello to a woman. He was italian...

Knock, Knock No one was home.

Wanna hear a story bout my uncle turza.... My uncle turza was eating fruit loops one day and there was a squirrel in the trre from 2 days ago he got angry because the spoon was from the phillipines so he punched a whole in the wall and his half uncle cousins sister had a cage.... True story

An Asian walks into a Chinese restaurant. Then he decides that he would prefer Mexican instead, and drives to a Taco Bell.

Why does Kony kidnap infants? To create an Infantry

Q: What did the police officer do when he saw another man getting assaulted. A: Went into a corner and started fapping to it.

Three men walk into a bar, they are promptly served and then they go home. Later that evening the bartender closes the bar and goes upstairs to his apartment where he is struggling with his debt... Business hasn't been as good these days.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

How do you become a multi-trilionere? Get bored...

how do you have sex? i dont know im under age!

What is the difference between Boyscouts and Jews? Boyscouts come home from camp.

what did the tomato say when he was cut open? nothing, because vegetables are unable to speak

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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