Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.

thumb_up thumb_down +14,163

The speakers on my computer were broken, so I was going to replace them with John Boehner. Because he is the SPEAKER of the house.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Arms and legs, NOT GET IN MY MINIVAN!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats the differents between a red farrari and a dead baby? I dont have a red farrari in my garage;)

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I do like haikus even when they are random refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do we want? Chips!! When do we want them? Chips

thumb_up thumb_down -29

how did the kenyan get away from the cop He didnt he got arrested

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What is white on the inside and red on the outside? An apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why can't Micheal J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because there is no such person as Micheal J. Fox. Michael J. Fox, on the other hand, cannot draw a perfect circle because he has Parkinson's disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -284

What do u call an anorexic with a yeast infection? -a quarter pounder with cheese. (not really anti-joke, im a girl and thought this was funny lol)

thumb_up thumb_down -2,864

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Andi: I have a great knock-knock joke, but you need to start it. Jake: Okay...Knock-knock! Andi: Who's there? Jake: ...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A dog walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender goes to get him a drink, but then realizes how ridiculous this is and wakes up from his dream. He rolls over to tell his wife about it, but she ignores him. He begins to cry silently, realizing his marriage is in shambles.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,096

A platypus walks into a bar. They are the only mammals with the ability to lay an egg.

thumb_up thumb_down +2,612

What do you call a cow with no legs. Dead, the farmer cut them off.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the bugger cross the rode? He was tired of getting picked on

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Why did the blond get fired from the M&M factory? Repeated absences and stealing.

thumb_up thumb_down +3,326

Knock knock. Who's there? To. To who? To whom.

thumb_up thumb_down +11,477

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +20,235

what do u say when u see your tv floating in the middle of the night? drop it n*****

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,066

Why were our jokes deleted? Because it's anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops