Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Q:How do you kill a blonde? A:The same way you kill everyone else.

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whats your budget like? a budget.

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What is the diffrence between a monkey... An apple because the more the much. :) :| :| :|

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Chuck Norris walked into a bar. He was greeted with much respect considering he was a talented actor.

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what do you call a Palestinian with a large blade at the throat of an Israeli? a barber

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how do you get your son or daughters attention? break down the door to their room and promptly begin beating them with a wooden baseball and then tie them up to a chair and torture them for 24 hours.

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So a chef, a soldier, and a lawyer are riding in a plane. The pilot has a heart attack and they all die.

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Whats the differance between a pizza and a black person? a pizza can feed a family

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Q: How can you fit 1000 jews in one car? A: The Ashtray

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What is worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your worm!!!

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Land Rovers

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What do you call a fat Mexican? Whatever his name is.

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SBB

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken decided go get cigarettes and then hang out at a bar. The chicken sitts next to horse, the horse says "Why the sad face?" The chicken justs sitts there, thinking about the insanity that he has caused. "I don't know, is my joke not getting old?" Replied the chicken.

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David Cameron

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Q: if you spend more than 10 minutes on anti-joke.com, you will soon start to see some of the problems with the user experience. name some and propose solutions. A: Well, as you said, there are many. But a huge one is all the repeat jokes. The site could really benefit from some mechanism to identify repeat jokes.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Stare at the person nearest to you and say "sprinkles" with the straightest face possible.

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What did the tractor say when he lost his farmer? wheres my farmer?

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What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

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Why did the Mexican mow lawns? He needed money to pay for his college tuition.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven died three months ago and was clawing on his bedroom window.

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Horse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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