Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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What did the cow say to the other cow when the boy asked him for something to drink? Probably MOOO! Considering that cows cant say anything except for that

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Two unemployed Irishmen are out looking for work when they pass a lumberyard. There's a sign outside that said "Tree Fellers Wanted". Sean turns to Patrick and says " What a curious way to write that sign. Surely the term is lumberjack?" "Yes," says Patrick "but what with the current economic situation here in Ireland, I say we get in there, apply for the jobs and hope that our lack of experience is overlooked." "Okay." Says Sean. "And let's not mention the whole sign thing." "No."

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What's the difference between a bag full of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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When Jesus came back from the dead the first thing he said was "It was just a prank bro!"

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Whats an Anti-Joke? Funny

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yo mamas so ugly she is often made fun of andridiculed about her appearance.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Why do depressed people like sharp knives? Cause there good for cutting Salad

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What is brown and lives in a toilet? A black homeless man

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What's white, black and tan? The people of planet earth.

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Why was little billy sad? He had a crouton stuck up his asshole.

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How did the man eat 100 mints in one bite? I'm not sure myself, but we can agree on one thing, his breath is gonna fresh.

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How many rich men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, to hire an electrician to do it for him.

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How can you tell if a duck is quaking? Hear it

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What do you call a submarine full of soldiers shot by a torpedo? Tragic war heros, that we will remember and honor

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." Then there is silence and a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone the guy says "I shot in the air and my friend heard it and moved. I think he's still alive." The operator says "Good that means he's still breathing and he's not dead."

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Whats the difference between Rolf Harris and a pedophile Whoops I didn't quite think this one through

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Sigh... You know life, you start all optimistic and "I am going to be wealthy mommy and stuff" Then you know, life turns not quite out like you planned it, and, well, you wish you had made some other choices you know what I mean... Your grades where not that good, that girl you really loved did not like you back, you know what I mean right? ...Well I don't, how is it like?

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a M.afia boss so they put him in prison.

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Hey I Just Met You , And This is Crazy But Don't Text. My Phone Cuz You Stalk Me Daily #Taste_MyCarmel

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How do u wake up lady gaga You go into her room and yell at her

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I had my period 3 days ago.

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what do you do when you see a injured black man screaming in pain rolling on the ground assist him or call 911 depending how severe the injury is

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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