When life gives you lemons.............. take them free stuff is awesome.

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How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

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What did the man say to the other man? Nothing, they didn't know each other..

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why did radio not get the song? beacause he radio didnt work.

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What do you call a black guy who is selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Why is there world hunger? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Two blondes are walking down the street. One breaks her left high heel and the other is called Monica.

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roses are red violet is blue why rik go to the hospital ? cause he eat glue.

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How do you turn a frown upside down? You cannot do such a thing because frowning is the act of sadness. Therefore you cannot nor should not change a persons attitude.

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how do you find will smith in the snow? with rescue dogs

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had been used as an ingredient in kung pow chicken and was on it's way via delivery boy to the house that had ordered it for a lovely evening meal

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

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A man walks into a bar He is STD positive.

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because It was bionically fused to the chicken.

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What is the worst gift a child can get? a gift

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: "My wife's dead."

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why does Santa Clause say Ho Ho Ho? He has Tuberculosis.

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A man wanted to kill himself.. He did.

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What's more fun then spinning a dead baby around on a clothesline at 50 miles an hour? Stopping it with a shovel.

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Poop

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Why did Donald Duck go to college? He didn't, he's a fictional cartoon character.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops