Why did the chicken cross the road? It heard you like to choke the chicken.

An Irishman walks into a bar. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

Q. What's better than a breadmaker? A. A sandwhich.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, horse, we don't serve your kind here." The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse," says the bartender, "I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse, are you deaf? I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out, knocking over a stool with his tail.

no one walks in to a bar bar tender: shit!

Yes and no, I am into literature, I am a writer, of how to rape and kill guides for the whole family (raping the whole family that is, again instructions for the whole family with inspirational quotes) Now give an example of each book to each family member without a cover stating what the book is... ...And after the first time, the world was never the same again.

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? To get his chemotherapy

Women Driving.

A knock knock B who's there A your newborn give me your money or I will hang all your kids

What did Helen Keller say when she fell off a cliff? That never happened. I just checked Wikipedia.

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

You are so ugly that when you were born the doctor didn't say anything to your mother because he has social manners.

whats red and smells like blue paint? Hank Kovalcik

Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

Your sex life.

how many baby's does it take to clean paint your house red. depends on the quality of the crusher.

whats sad about 3 black people driving a Cadillac over a cliff? that was my Cadillac

Why did the black guy buy a jug of grape soda Because he was thirsty

God and Allah are having a metaphysical picnic, God says to his fellow deity: "Why do you think so many humans have been killed in our names?" Allah muses upon this for a moment and replies: "Because they think we exist."

roses are red violets are blue chickens are white and yellow trees are green and brown my yellow shirt is purple oh shit my dog died

Why did the tree stay home from school? Because, trees don't have school.

What is smarter than a blind Mexican midget of average intelligence? A genius

If you don't live in the country, where do you live? The ocean.

What do black people and tornadoes have in common? - It only takes one to destroy a neighborhood.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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