Elvis presley was taking a poop and couldnt poop cause he was dead.

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How do you make a mother at the playground cry? You steal her 3 year old daughter

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Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

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What's black and white and red all over? A bloody fight between a black and a white man.

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What is the biggest lie in the universe? I love you.

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Have u ever noticed why a Police car siren isnt as loud as an ambulance siren? Do u know why that is? Because i dont, and i would like to know because my over active and curious brain is pounding through my skull and throbbing with question and wont stop until i know the answer!

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

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knock, knock who's their? police get down on the ground!

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whats worse than a paper cut? getting your head chopped off

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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How is it possible for a man to get raped? Easy. He lied.

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? Hello Prostitute.

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robin, get in the car.

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What happened to the old lady with a hat? She fell down

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Chuck Norris

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you know why Michael J Fox makes the best milkshakes? no... but his milkshakes brings all the boys to the yard

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what is purple and hairy like a bear? A purple bear

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What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

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Its april fools day and a women is in labour and has to rush to the hospital. Her husband couldn't make it so it is just the doctor and her in the delivery room. 4 hours of labour go by and complications arise. 12 hours later she gives birth toa beautiful baby boy. The doctor wipes the baby off and goes to hand it to her but then suddenly pulls it back and kicks it a cross the room. The mother screamed "my baby boy!" and the doctor smiles and says "April fools! It was already dead!"

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I have read and agreed to the Terms of Service

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What is worse then rain on your wedding day? Getting married.

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What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

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Why didn't Pat's grandma go to his birthday party? Because she died last night

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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