What's worse than a pimple? Finding out it's a botfly.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the unicorn eat for a snack? Nothing. Unicorns are a majestic fiction animal.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you call a fish without eyes? a fshhhhh

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A drunk guy walks into a bar. He orders a beer and the bartender says "Hey pal, you look and act really drunk, I don't think I can serve you any more alcohol." The man looks up to the bartender and says "You're right, I'm really drunk."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the boy with four arms get for Christmas? A Laptop. Why couldn't he use it? He had no fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down +284

Look how far I can kick this bucket

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i have Alzheimers, Roses are red

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the only thing more horrible than trash can full of dead babies? A live one at the bottom. What's more horrible than that? He has to eat his way out. What's more horrible than that? He goes back for more. What's more horrible than that? This all took place in my garage while I was watching.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was the blonde confused? Because someone was dressed in a chicken costume throwing pinecones at her.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A momma tomato and a baby tomato are walking down the street, and the baby tomato starts to fall behind. The mother turns to it and says "hurry up."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the Jew pick up the penny lying on the sidewalk? Because he dropped it.

thumb_up thumb_down +464

How did the rabbi die? It didnt it lived through the shooting

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the man go to Chinatown? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And I hate Jewish people

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the student have a staring contest with his teacher? Well, the teacher was actually unaware of the competition.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the waiter put rubber bands in the soup? Because he wasn't a very good waiter.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,663

knock knock who's there? It's Jim we haven't seen each other since college Why hello there come on in

thumb_up thumb_down +20

a guy had 6 fingers& every1 called him john.y????? bcaz his name was john

thumb_up thumb_down -335

why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

thumb_up thumb_down -6

knock knock who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill Smith, we went to high school together. Oh hey Bill, come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops