Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? IT WAS DEAD.

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Why was the fat person sad? Because he was fat.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because chad makes babies cry.

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Why did bobby fall of the swing? He had no arms -Knock knock -Who's there? -Bobby -But how? -I knocked with my diick -Oh

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A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

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Boy: whats for dinner Kidnapper: beans and weiners

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what is red with 2 legs? half a cat

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Why did no one throw a fridge at the boy on the swing? Because fridges are heavy.

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I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

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What's creepy about a loving couple having sex? I made them do it.

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black guy on a bike? Just because its not very nice.

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Why did the baby stop crying? I shot it with a 9mm pistol and put it in the microwave because it cried while I was watching Sienfeld.

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Why did I get thumbs down from everyone? Answer: Because they hate my anti-joke.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she is legally blind

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what did the church group do at their picnic? drink the kool aid

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what is black and looks like a rasberry a blackberry

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Roses are red Violets are blue I was diagnosed as criminally insane Wanna be my friend?

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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Roses are red, violets are violet. I'm not stupid.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Orange. Don't be ridiculous. Oranges can't talk.

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

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A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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