School

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Why was the boy late for dinner? He got in the van.

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What did the fridge say when I opened it? Nothing.

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whats similar between a eagle and a armidillo? they both can fly. apart from the armidillo.

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Why did a vampire climb Mount Everest in the middle of the night on his birthday in September?

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Your mom is so fat, that she has unsightly stretch marks.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he got hit by a car because he wasn't aware of the dangers of not looking both ways. Bufoon

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what d you call three arabs walking through the desert? dehydrated.

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Two construction workers are working on the final floor of what will soon be the worlds tallest building. The first turns to the other and says: "Hey tom can you throw me a three quarters hex wrench? i think my set is metric." the second guy turns around and says: "yea, here you go."

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a black man, a Jew, a Chinese man and a polar bear walk into a bar, the bar tender says sorry no animals allowed in the bar, so the polar bear left and the other three ordered some drinks and had a nice time

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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Whats worse than a repeated Anti-joke This One

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what do you call a bee that makes milk? A BOObee

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Someone threw birdseed.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met you

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? An egg.

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I heard you like getting dirty, so I got a dump truck to dump dirt on your bed so you can get dirty while you get dirty.

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Knock knock! Who's there? IT DOESN'T MATTER, YOU'RE NOT COMING TO MY HOUSE!!!! *closes door*

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A stoner walks into a bar. A few minutes later he is asked to leave by the bartender because he is disruptive and uncoordinated. The stoner leaves because conflict is not in his nature.

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What did the cannibal order at McDonalds? Big Mac, extra pickle, hold the mayo.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

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hard cheese

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A fat man walks into a bar. There is a 70% chance his mom is fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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