dylan wishes life was like cod. that way he would actually be able to do something cool

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I jack off

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did you stub your toe?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What is the black stuff between elephants toes? Slow natives

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How many owls can you fit in a bath tub?

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What did the penis say to the other penis? What? Penis motherbucker

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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Roses are red, violets are purple.

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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2 Black men walk into the bar.. Guess what? There still black.

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Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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whats black, then white, then dead all over? Michael jackson

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I told my friend one of these anti-jokes, he took it seriously and beat my head with a bat.

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what is red, black, and blue all over? A horribly painted room.

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A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

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This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Dick Cheney That's the joke

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wat is the difference between rainbows and poop? I LOVE RAINBOWS!

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So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

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why did michele jackson rape a kid. because he was horny duhhhh!

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What did Jesus Christ say to John the Baptist? Nothing. He didn't exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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