What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

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Skrillex.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Nock Nock. Whose there? The chicken.

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anti-joke.ru - russian style

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That awkward moment where all you want for Christmas is for your parents to get back together but then you realize that they died in a car crash

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A lion and a cheetah raced each other and the cheetah won Lion: "man you're a cheetah!" Cheetah: "no you're lion!" Then the cheetah tears off the lions head and feeds it to their babies

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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Why was the black man running? Because he was playing capture the flag.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Shut up.

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Q. How did the blind man cross the road A. By an abmulance which took him to the hospital because his first attempt to cross was unsuccessful and the hospital was conventeintly located on the other side of the road.

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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Yo momma so fat she saw a yellow bus full of white kids and said, "STOP THAT TWINKIE!!"

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What do u call a black man in the middle of a crowd of white men? A rare sighting of a black man trying to go to colledge.

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Why was Chris crying? There was a robbery at his house and both of his parents were brutally murdered.

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Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

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What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? Finishing the wheelchair.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was an avocado

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are baked until ready and then enjoyed be the person who made them.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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How many gays does it take to change a light bulb? 1, even if hes not happy im sure he would still be able to change it.

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2 men walk into a bar without thier shirts. They get kicked out. 2 women walk into a bar without thier shirts They got beaten almost to death Why? The men dressed up as women, and every hated them so much they beat the almost to death when 2 cops walk into that bar, see the men dressed up as women and they too beat them. Little do they all know that the men disguised as women are really secret goverment agents looking into a drug deal. The drug dealers got away and now we have 2 people sueing the police department and drugs on the street again. Oh yeah I almost forgot: I made this up so if you read it you're going to die withing the next 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 years. I gurantee it. If you dont the men in white coats are going to do extremely painful tests on you and you just might die so then no one will care and maybe get onto thier lives again. Why did I right this? It hasnt happened to me so I dont know If you tell me I will give you something more valueble than gold. Want to know what it is? TELL ME FIRST!!!!

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Why was a woman crying in a corner of a room She was raped

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Yo dawg, I heard you like cars. Thats cool, whats your favorite one?

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Not a Jehovah's Witness, let me in!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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