What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why does paul mccartney not wear shoes? cause a nigga stole it

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What happenes if you put an elephant in the fridge? Nothing, it wouldnt fit.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

what do you call a nun in a wheel chair? Virgin Mobile By: jb lshs

thumb_up thumb_down +19

your mumma so fat when she stepped on the scales it said her phone number

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting attacked by an evil demonic llama.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Where do bees go to the bathroom? In the hive - they're incontinent.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How does a black man have sex? He inserts his penis into his partners vagina, then slides it out, then inserts it back in, and repeats this motion untill he has reached his climax and ejaculates!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? Obama is the president and a drug-dealer has lost his life to the awful streets.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

roses are blue, violets are unicorns, this poem doesnt make any sense. refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

An alcoholic walks into a bar, but then realises he's ruining his family so he calls the rehab

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If chuck noris has five dollars and you have five dollars, he has more money than you. He forgot about the extra dollar in his back pocket

thumb_up thumb_down -16

An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe, When he woke up one night he discovered with fright, That the friendly old neighbor from next door had broken into his house with a chain saw in an alcohol-induced murder attempt.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why don't you throw rocks at a black person riding a bike..... It could be yours

thumb_up thumb_down -16

An Italian leaves the mofia

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did road cross the chicken Niggers love chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do a Jew and a whale have in common? They're both Jewish. Except the whale.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you get when you cross a blonde with a dinosaur? Beastiality

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A woman was in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband. Shortly after she brings the sandwich to him and he thanks her seeing as his disabled legs prevent him from walking to the kitchen and making one himself. His wife later heads to her job as a firefighter.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops