How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Next season on teen moms, Justin Bieber tells her story.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the joke feel paranoid? Because everyone kept laughing at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the man say to his wife. Hi

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the fat kid rob a pizza shop? Because he happened to like pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between me and convicted pedophile? -The pedophile's been caught ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -9

4 strangers are shopping at the mall. The big one does a trick and then the small one was good. The bad was small like a tree, seven days later the short one was having a party with a pretty lady. To the teacher was morning and everyone did happy times.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the duck say when it saw a puddle? Nothing.Ducks are uncapable of speaking human speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Man #1:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: I don't know Man #1: Because he died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Because he died? Man #1: Yep. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Really? Come on, I've already answered your stupid question. Man #1: JUST ANSWER! Man #2: Fine, because he died. Man #1: No, peer pressure. Duh. Man #2 promplty punches Man #1 in the face and continues about his buisness.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q:What do you call a black man that got to the moon and back in a space rocket? A: A golfer, he is a pro golfer now!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Hai Patrick Hai Patrick

thumb_up thumb_down -6

So a man and a woman are siting at the same park table Woman: sir are you touching my leg erotically Man: No mam for you see I am a parapaligec

thumb_up thumb_down -10

If life throws you melons, you should do your best to avoid them. Large and hard objects such as melons can easily harm you if moving at high speeds. Fortunately, life is not a physical entity that can throw melons or anything else - so the chances of this event occurring to you are exceedingly low.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A young man read a book. He then went back to the library to return the book, but got killed in a car crash on the way there.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

guy walks into a bar.... Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Emily Walker.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the girl cry when her boyfriend brought up the topic about rape? Because she was raped by her father as a child and it was a suppressed memory.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why are black people more athletic than whites? Black people originate from Africa, where they lived in a world where athletic ability created natural selection. The most athletic were able to escape dangers of the jungle such as dangerous animals, and were also most apt to find food to survive. Then when the slave trade occured, only the strongest and best fit survived the trip to America and the hard labor. Also, given the socio-economic trends of the United States, African Americans are more likely to grow up in an environment where they have limited opportunity to make a living, besides professional sports, so they play cheap sports like basketball.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

guess what What? Apsolutly nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a black man on the moon? Another successful moon landing by NASA in which the African-American astronaut went on a successful moon walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops