What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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How do you like your eggs in the morning? -Poached or Fertilised?

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The snake rides the bicycle in the forest, the rabbit sees this, and says "hey snake, you don't have legs" "oh damn" replies the snake and eats the rabbit because of the insolence

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A white man walks into a bar. Then he gets a beer.

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Whats the difference between a dead cat and a woman. The cat had a life.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken just lost his job and has entered into a deep depression. He was going to commit suicide at the local KFC, but as he walked into the KFC, he saw a beautiful woman. They lived a full and happy life together until the chicken died of old age. Turns out the woman was blind, and partially deaf.

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What did the man with cancer say when he got hit in the face with a crowbar? "Ow."

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This is "Eliza" holy shit! I almost gave up and went to a party assuming you guys had simply skipped the reply. Please tell me nothing of this is written in code, because I have no fucking idea how to decipher it... ...To think that so few consider Nero a hero for all that he has done, and so many have come to hate him and still follow his advice basically abusing him. I told my sister to use mom`s cellphone to call and warn as many as possible, telling them to spread the word, is Nero7 Going to make it? He mentioned a barfight starting over nothing during new years eve. I know that some of the members where planning to use his own teachings in order to overthrow him, I warned him but he was fully aware already but did nothing for some reason. Yet none of them have the assets to do anything like this... Should I start calling all those members that left during Nero7`s "sudden paranoia period?" Many of them have political authority and can be of help if we can somehow convince them. Respond Asap, and if Nero7 is in a public hospital, then get him the hell out of there, he is an exposed target for anyone, if he gets killed, ill fucking kill you you hear me!

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your friend is so gay that he cuts of dicks as his part time job. and enjoys it.

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Nero, its not that, people are leaving left and right, you where right when you told me that I was holding into the remains of a rotting corpse, the underground society is dead and money alone will never bring it back, but I got the funds and you the talent, is there nothing that can be achieved? You are a lawyer, you write novels, you live a family life, you work for who the hell knows what organization, is this what you traded your, or if I may say, our legacy for? I dont suspect you Nero, I am disappointed in you, part of me wishes you where a backstabber, rather than the one that just quit.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a white guy They both have different skin color

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A black man walks into an abbatoir.

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How come Michael Jackson can draw a perfect circle? He likes little BOYS.

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what did the pregnant black woman say to the white man I'm pregnant

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What is a dogs favorite color? Gray due to the fact that they cant see any other color

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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Roses are red That much is true But violets are purple Not freaking blue

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How do you get a jewish girls number check her wrist

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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Q:Where was The Declaration of Independence signed? A: At the bottom

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? Me :'(

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Guy 1: Where's your dog Guy 2: I Dunno Guy 1: I ate it

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Why couldn't little Jimmy see his mum in the crowd? Because he was blind.

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Q: What did the homless man get for chritsmas? A: Frostbite

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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