There is a asian, mexican and a blonde boy at school. Every day they each get the same food for lunch. The asian always got noodles. The mexican a taco. the blonde boy got pb and j. They decide if they get this lunch again, they will jump off a cliff. The next day they get the same lunch and jump off a cliff. At their funeral the asian mom says " if i had known, i would have made her sushi." the mexican mom says " i would have made her a burrito." The blonde's dad say "hey don't look at me, he makes his own lunch."

Q: What's grey and looks good on policemen? A: A stylish grey hat.

Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

what are you called if your really funny but you not smart? the class clown

Situation: A bear is cutting a sunflower's hair Question: How many kangaroos does it take to do surgery on a meatball? Answer: Tomato. Because zebras eat twelve kiwis in a factory every February 29th.

what's worse then droping your phone. 9/11 having sex with the holocaust

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan? Their last names.

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy! But iI'm on bath salts and your face looks tasty!

There once was a man from Nantucket, whose dick was so long he could provide women with more pleasure than the average male.

What is better than one trillion dollars? One trillion and one dollars... duh.

What did the guy say when he found out his girlfriend had a dick I don't think we should date anymore, you have a dick.

Why couldn't the baker get a new car? Because he lived in a recession and nobody was buying his cakes.

Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability

Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

Knock, knock. Whose there? A Mountain Lion wait...what

A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

Why does the man with no legs call for help? because he woke up to find that he had no legs.

A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

how do you make a cow float Give it 10000 balloons

why did road cross the chicken Niggers love chicken.

What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and strangled the child.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...