Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- *Commits Suicide*

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What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

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Why can you punish cows but not fish? Because you can ground beef, but not fish!

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar and gets shot.

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What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

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Im black

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Pants and God shorts: God: Jews ur my people nao! Jews: Yay we are Gods chosen people! Riches and gRape awaits us! World domination next! God: Well, not quite what I meant but, err... Close enough? Jews: YAY! Moral: So much for "the chosen ones" :(

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How do you kill a blonde? Pull the pin and throw it back...then proceed to paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

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What do you call a dancing panda bear? I'm not sure, but panda bears are pretty big, so the possibility of them dancing is highly unlikely.

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a chinese man and an irishman walk into a bar. This is odd because these men are from countries extremely far apart from one another

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I live in a very rural area, so it's not easy to just go to the store and pick something up. I try to find out how to do things with the stuff I have on hand, so I Googled spot remover, but there are only pictures of stain cleaners. Please help. Spot has rabies.

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Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

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Why did billy have a bruse? Because he got smacked with a belt. -Louis

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Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

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Jovan

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Q: what do strawberry and a cat have in common? A: they are both red except for the cat

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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Whats the difference between a crucifixion and a circumcision? In crucifixion you throw out the whole Jew.

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What did the Muslim say to the Jew? Nothing, as he has been deaf since birth and is incapable of forming coherent speech.

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How do you spell "black" when you writing an african american history essay. B L A C K

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whats worse than your brother dying in a car accident? finding out the rest of your family was in there

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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