Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

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HAHAHAHAH Shut up Andra no one likes you

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Me. You who? Me.

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Why did i try to write a funny joke? Cuz i was desperately bored.....

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Whats worse than standing on lego? Rebecca black. whats worse than Rebecca Black? Justin Bieber. Whats worse than justin Bieber? Standing on a baby that isnt yours.

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Time to get a watch

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What do you call a kid with a peg leg and an eye patch? Names

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car? Starve it to death then chop it in pieces.

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- Knock, knock. - Who's there? - Immigration.

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How do you stop a bird from flying? Shoot it with a harpoon gun.

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How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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What did the blind pole vaulter say to the speed skater? Hi, how are you?

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One day a black man, a white man, and an Asian man decide to bet on who has the longest penis. The white man wins by 1/18th of an inch, effectively disproving the stereotype. They all go home a little gayer for the experience.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Kid With ADD A Kid With AD- Oh Look! A Squirrel!

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Why was everyone afraid of Nick Morton? Because he had AIDS

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Yo mama's so fat that she has a heart condition.

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Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

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Why couldn't the Little Boy hear his mother yelling at him? Because his mothers died

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The Holocaust

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The closest I've been to an animal charity was when I walked past it to by myself a fur coat

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How do you piss off a blind person? Tell him to piss in a round room.

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The 19th Amendment

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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