So there was a blond, a brunette, and a red-head. They walked out of the salon very happy with their respective dye jobs.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Here comes a car, It ran over m--

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's green and shitty? A bootleg stick.

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How do you greet a small mexican man at Chuck E. Cheese? Whatsup Jose

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Why did the fat guy ride his camel to the grocery store? Because he didn't want to walk to the grocery store

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I am really good at math debating

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What do we want? Chips!! When do we want them? Chips

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What's chris benoit doing? Just hangin in the gym

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was peckish.

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Why doesn't Andy wanna bend over to puck something up? That's how he got assraped!

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Why did the boy wear a winter jacket on the hottest day of the year? Because the boy was in antarctica and the hottest day was still below freezing.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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What did the joke writer with A.D.D say refrigerator

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Lambos are red Tuxedos are Blue The cat is out of the bag Shit, we're all gonna die in helll

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You're mama's so stupid, she decided to go back to school and finish her degree in Russian Literature to improve her self-esteem and maybe -- just maybe -- save her marriage, which had been on the rocks, mostly due to her intolerable self-loathing.

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whats red with blue spots and is highly inteligent? an apple. i lied to you and am sorry

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If a rooster lays a brown egg on the south side of an Asian man's roof, which way would I turn at the intersection? Folderol, because laundry has no soul.

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A cat and a dog walk into a bar. The bartender says "it's refreshing to see perennial enemies enjoying each others company".

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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Why does Justin Beiber's asswhole hurt, and his father's dick was brown? Because he ate mexican food and his on his dad's dick.

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Roses are red Violets are silly Grease up your flaps Cause here comes my willy!

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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what do you call a gay ginger boy ? Ronan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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