How do prevent a black man from robbing your house? Lock you doors and perhaps get an up-to-date security system.

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How to trick hundreds or religious people to drink cyanide? You establish a religious community in which you establish a ritual of drinking Kool-Aid once a day and one day switch the Kool-Aid with cyanide.

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What did the average man say the the bird? HOODINI

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Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

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69

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An airplane crashes into a state park. There are no survivors. Susan continues her stroll in the park, considering she is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair, she isn't aware of the nearby disturbance

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what did the lion tell the jellyfish? nothing, both lions and jellyfishes cant talk, and even if they could the chances of a lion meeting a jellyfish are remote

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Why did the monkey eat the pineapple? IDK, ask Sam D

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A man walks into a bar and takes his seat. After a minute, someone shouts "133!" and this is followed by a couple of slight chuckles around the room. Later, "57!" is heard from the corner, followed by harsh laughter. After a while, someone shouts "66!" which is met by an uproar of uncontrollable laughter. The man, confused by the evening's events, asks the barmam what is going on. The barman explains, every joke has been told countless times so instead of reciting them, they are numbered and people call out the numbers. The man catches on to this, and therefore shouts "453!" which is followed by a deadly silence, because no one had heard that particular joke before, so 453 was just a number to them.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by Shrek

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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In Soviet Russia, this joke is an anti-joke.

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OBAMA

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When does the ice cream get thrown at the yellow horse on thursday evening? Purple Monkey Rainbow

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Why was the kid underwater? He hit a rock.

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why did the chicken cross the road? i don't know u tell me

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What's the difference between a car tyre and 365 used condoms? One is a Goodyear. The others a fucking great year!!! San2

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what's worse than getting hit by a car? getting hit by a truck

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has psychotic tendencies.

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whats worse than 911 nothing you cant beat 911that sucked

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An Asian walks into a bar, but the bartender asks him to leave the bartender replies "we're closing soon" but he secretly harbored racist views that he had not yet come to terms with and was deeply ashamed of.

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Where did John go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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its all shi.ts and giggles.... ......until someone giggles and s.hits

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There is a man who is half black half Jewish. He walking up a hill really fast. What happens to him? Answer: The Jewish side of his body will fall off and the black side will walk away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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