How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -None, they will pay for somebody else to do it

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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What did Jesus say when he made the first black person? What another perfect creation to this world!

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Your mother is so fat, when she dives into a pool, the on duty life guard blows his whistle to get her attention. He then proceeds to tell her about the dangers of diving into a pool with the depth of 5ft or less and asks her not to continue her antics. She is not pleased but decides it is best to follow the rules.

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justin bieber: ask me if im a boy are you a boy? no.

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How did the fat man avoid getting dehydrated? Fat men don't excersise and therefore cannot become dehydrated.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Chuck Norris. I'm Done. That's my joke.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

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Why can't Kevin run with scissors? Because he killed himself.

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How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

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Yo momma's so fat, that she got baptised in Sea World.

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What do you call a gay black man? Whatever his name happens to be

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Why wouldn't they give Helen Keller a driver's liscense? Because she was a woman.

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Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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Did you hear about the new XBOX releasing in Mexico. It's called the XBOX JUAN!!!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not sally.

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Pirate ships are used by pirates.

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Stephen Hawking wheels into the Center for Theoretical Cosmology.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a serial rapist.

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What do you call an animal that is blue, fluffy and lives in the arctic? I don't know and that's why I'm asking you.

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Hey do you know who is in the yard? Not the boys, they all died in a horrific fire last Christmas.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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