Why didn't the man laugh at his son's joke? Because he was born without a mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats worse than a fart joke? A queef joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A person tells an anti-joke. Nothing out of the ordinary happens.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Wilson: would you buy lottery when you grow up Mattuew: no theres no point Wilson: ask Xiangxi right next to you Mattuew: xiangxi, would you buy lottery if you grow up? Xiangxi: Prabably not, because the chance of winning a lottery is lower than becoming an astronaut Mattuew: the probability of you winning the lottery is higher than you finding a girlfriend

thumb_up thumb_down -29

your mum is so fat her patronas is a cake...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the Bishop say to the pebble? Wash my car

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding half of regis philbin in your apple...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you make an antijoke corny. How? Corn.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Two homeless men are baking in an oven. They scream loudly until they both die.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

if a white guy, a black guy and a hispanic guy jump off a 10 story building, who hits the ground first? the man who jumped first. racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

Is it considered sexual harassment if a midget says to a woman, "your hair smells nice"? Holy crap i don't like black people.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

thumb_up thumb_down -2

The indistinguishable bug corrupts a bond arrow.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

12

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why did the sperm swim back? cos he realised that he was in someones anus!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Which side of a chicken has more feathers? The outside.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why are rich guys gay? Because they hang around other rich guys

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you make an idiot in suspense?

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Well, its Eliza again, sorry to bother you Nero, I always thought you where good looking but I know that when it comes to you its not about the looks, you are far more than meets the eye. Neo-Nero was the guy we met at a certain meeting, the arrogant guy with the big forehead whose arms where shaking remember? I wont reveal more for his sake, he did not mean bad, he was just angry like the rest of us and felt responsible, again like many of us. So when can we meet you? I assume you wont be arriving soon, but Id really apreciate seeing you again, and considering neither I nor my parents (I asked them) have the money to come visit you, id appreciate a loan or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops