Where do the biggest potatoes grow? the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A: why do elephants paint their toenails red? B: why? A: so they can hide in cherry trees B: I don't get it A: have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? B: no... A: exactly

thumb_up thumb_down +1

only in america: does pizza arrive at your house faster than an ambulence do banks leave their doors open and chain their pens to the desks people put their usless junk in the garage and thier expensive cars in the driveway

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you fit 76 babies in a bath tub... With a blender. How do you get them back out? With tortilla chips.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks into a zoo. There is only one animal, a dog. It's a shitzu.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What's blue and yellow all over? A: A baby at the bottom of the pool with a slashed floatie. Q: What's red and yellow all over? A: A floatie at the top of a pool with a slashed baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Your maternal figure contains so many Triglycerides, her belt size is greater than or equal to the circumference of the Earth.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is makes you more happy to see than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed up as a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What is Jetlag? When your computer is running too many applications/programs, thus causing the game Jetman on Facebook to lag.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is a kangaroos favorite desert? The outback

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A priest and a police officer are sitting at a bar. They both have considerable drinking problems because problems unrelated to their respective occupations. The bartender's name is Mike.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Mrs. Welsh

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the black man say when he ate a Hershey bar? Delicious

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +20

whats worse than having a gay friend ? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +2

1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's There? *runs*

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are tits, Violets are tits, I love tits. Tits.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

If life throws you cars, you are probably on LSD.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats bigger than a tree A bigger tree

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops