Why are oranges blue? Wait there orange... right

thumb_up thumb_down +22

roses are red violets are blue you should have been aborted

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why didn't Joey play with the other kids on the playground? Answer: He was dead

thumb_up thumb_down

Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with other men other than her husband.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What does a Jedi say when another Jedi farts? A: Who sabered the cheese?

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the penguin die? due to an increase in the quantity of greenhouse gases that are being released into the atmosphere, global warming is on the rise. So the penguin died because his home melted.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Tyrone try to sell Timmy some blow? Due to his poor educational background, lack of recommendations, and a terrible job market, Tyrone wasn't able to get a real job and had to resort to selling illegal narcotics. This wasn't something Tyrone wanted to do, because he promised himself he would never end up like his father, but this was the only way he could support his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why was the 6 afraid of the 7? because 7 was a registered 6 offender.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why do black people always sit in the back of the bus? There aren't any available seats in the front.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I have read and agree to the terms of midget sex service - View Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Who cares its a chicken, it probably got hit by a car. Go to McDonalds and get a chicken sandwich there he is

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the gorilla fall on the ground Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why did the african american man get shot? he partook in a gang life

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why dont you ever see any black mermaids? Mermaids dont exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the Jewish man commit suicide? Because he was not happy with his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's harder than nailing a baby to a tree? My penis whilst im doing it.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock Knock! Whos There? Interupting black lady! Interupti. MMMMHHHHMMMM!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +232

3 guys are in a car crap manners and shut up.shut up is driving and crape falls out the window so manners goes and gets him. A cop pulls over shut up.he goes what's your name son?shut up.where's your manners boy?over there picking up crape.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats bloody and is dead. My son.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I have read the Terms of Service.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops