Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

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15

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Mitt Romney

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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34

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Yo mama so fat - - That your dad left her, and it's tearing your family apart

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Screw it you write the joke.

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What do you get when you cross sodium citrate, citric acid, benzyl alcohol, monoethanolamine, sodium benzoate, gylcol disterate, FD&C Yellow #5, ammonium lauryl sulfate, methylisothiazolinone, fragrances/perfumes, FD&C Blue #1, sodium chloride, zinc pyrithione, methylchloroisothiazolinone, ammonium xylenesulfonate, ammonium laureth sulfate, cetyl alcohol, cocamide, guar hydropropyltrimonium chloride, 1-Decene, homopolymer, hydrogenated, trimethylolpropane tricaprylate and water? Head & Shoulders Dandruff Shampoo for Fine-Oily Hair

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Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

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What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

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So this guy walks into the doctor's and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor says "Yes, you've shattered both your kneecaps. You'll never walk again."

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4

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A Christian and an Atheist are in a bar, the christian says "if you don't believe in god you will go to hell." the atheist replies "if there was a benevolent supreme being, logic dictates that there would be proof of his existence other than a 2,000 year old book." they agree to set aside their petty differences and get on with their lives.

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Where would you find a dog with one leg? Possibly in a vet's surgery, or in an animal rescue home or being cared for by a loving owner.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots. The bartender says "Rough day, eh?" The man says "Yes, very rough." He then goes home and hangs himself.

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There is a really funny joke which can only be seen by smart people, it goes as such:

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What do you call a limbless woman on a beach? Sandy

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Today I decided to burn alot of calories. So I found a fat kid and lit him on fire.

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Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

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How much money did the pirate pay for his ear to get pierced? Nothing, given that he is a pirate. It was probably done at gunpoint.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your entire family died in a car accident

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You know you have no friends when you write anti-jokes. [M]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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