what did the guy say before he went to kill the other guy? Im killing you

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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What has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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Did the single mother survive the plane crash? No.

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Why was the napkin wet? Some water was on it

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Your Momma’s muscle to fat ratio can only be explained in irrational complex numbers.

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Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a car

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i told my parents that i was having friends come over my dad said great my mom said great so i said great

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme but this one doesn't

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because blind people aren't allowed to drive in the United States.

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Some blind tall guy asked a rich dude about time when the rich dude looked at his klock he remembred many things in his ugly terrible life so he said to the blind guy : its 5PM

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What smells like dead rats? Dead hamsters

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When he was a little boy, what was Chaz Bono's favorite Cher song? Chaz Bono was never a little boy, he was a girl.

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When life gives you lemons... you probably just found lemons...

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Q: How did the hispanic youth express his irrational fear of snakes when he watched, "Snakes: The Life of These Tranquil Creatures"? A: He screamed and burst into an uncontrollable bout of agitating laughter invoked by his natural uneasiness at having witnessed something very disturbing indeed.

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Ask me if im a truck are you a truck no

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Is your daddy a thief? Because he stole my wallet.

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have u seen helen kellers dad? A: neither has she

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Why did the homeless man cross the road? The soup kitchen has just reopened after months of rebuilding from a fire. He was very hungry.

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What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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What's the difference between 9/11 and Jenga? Jenga games regularly don't kill around 3000 people.

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What do airplanes and grapes have in common? They both have wings, except a grape doesn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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