You know what they say about big feet... big penis.

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how could you not hav not died of dehyderation?

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Do you wanna hear a Ebola joke? You probably won't get it

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Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey. By darragh hamilton

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So a blond, a brunette, a ninja, a pirate, a priest, a rabbi, a mathematician and an engineer all walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What, is this some kind of joke?"

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What'd the black woman say when she met her husband's white mistress? Hello, nice to meet you.

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What's green has eight legs, and would kill you of it fell on you from the top of a tree? A Billiard table

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What do you get if you cross a banana, a mango, and an apple? A smoothie

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your period is red your waffle is blue find a way to fix it or no sex for you!

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What did Juliet tell Romeo before they kissed? Kiss me Romeo

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What did the teacher say to the kid who got a 0 on a multiple choice spelling test? Wow your really dumb. Idiot

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João Duarte reads this.

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why did Michael Jackson cross the road? He didnt he is dead.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson play with Macaulay Culkin? Because he's dead.

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What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

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A clown walking down the steet, trips -Ryan Vallee

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1.Why were the black men asked to leave the bar? Because it was a womens bar. 2.Why did the 40 year old get an erection? Because he was excited.

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How do you kill a cow while your carrying a gun Shoot him

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how do you kill chuck norris? you dont, killing is illegal

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? "Damn, that's a good apple pie."

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven, one muffin says to the other; boy it's hot in here. the other other muffin doesn't reply because it's a muffin, muffins don't talk. Now consider that the first muffin was a squirrel, A TALKING SQUIRREL!

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What the best part of having sex with twenty-eight year olds? Theres 20 of them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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