What noise does a Chinese roller coaster make? Chink Chink Chink Chink chink.....

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were going for a walk. They spotted some tracks, and stopped to inspect them. "Those are train tracks." The blonde noted. They agreed, looked both ways, then crossed safely over it.

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Three men walk in to a bar, One ducked

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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How many cats would it take to change a lightbulb? Cats can't change lightbulbs

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Chuck Norris does not get sick; He only gets sick when his immune system is weak.

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Roses are red, and many other colors too.

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A Jewish person was found dead in an alley way last night, Hitler did nothing wrong.

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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im dylan, i wank over teabaging people on cod

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My girlfriend gave me her first ever blowjob last night. I came in her mouth and she washed it down with a can of Carling. Obviously she had to get that horrible taste out of her mouth, so she gave me another blowjob.

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How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

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A guy walks into a bar

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Where did grandpa go for his birthday The morgue.

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Wow, so it is true, you are here the entire fucking time aren't you bitch? You and all "six billion of your followers of the dark", listen asshead, one thing is people asking ME when I FUCKING SIGN BOOKS (which does not happen all that FUCKING OFTEN!) Why I lead a fucking cult of sorts. Another one is having your goons stab me in the FUCKING EYE, and going "Oh I am like so sorry, please let me be the gayest I can be" People assaulting me because I use the "Moralman identity" IT IS MINE! My real FUCKING NAME IS NERO! I DON'T GO AROUND STEALING NOBODY`S SHIT!

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Why didn't Pat's grandma go to his birthday party? Because she died last night

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Anti pick up line: Boy: If I could re arrange the letters I would put U and I together. Girl: Oh really because if I could rearrange the letters I would put F and U together By Adam Chebali

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An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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What did the teenage girl get for her birthday? Pregnant.

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is this the krusty crab? no this is child services were taking your children.

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What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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what is the biggest lie in the whole world? -please drink responsibly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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