Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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What is big, eats cats, smells good, but looks like shit? A big, cat eating, good smelling piece of shit

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You know what's worse than having a terrible boss? Being unemployed.

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Kevin: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Bob: Because it's extinct? Kevin: No you idiot! The P is silent! Pterodactyl: RAARRGHH! (eats Bob)

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michael: How old do I look? stranger: about 68? How old are you? michael: I cant remember I have alzheimers. michael: How old do I look?

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Q: what do you call a man that see's a unicorn A: hallucinating

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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Why did the fat man get thrown out of an all you can eat buffet? He molested a waitress

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what is big round and fat? Your MOM

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Why do Asian Women have small boobs? Because anything under A is unacceptable.

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Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It died. Q: Why did the snake fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird. Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

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Why did the Dentist recommend Oral B? He had been paid by the company and thus legally bound to do so.

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Why did the insect play marco polo? It couldn't. Marco polo requires multiple players.

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Why was the All-black Basketball team disqualified? Because they all died in a hotel fire.

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A black man, Jew and a Mexican go camping. A bear wanders into their campsite, but upon seeing them runs away because it's afraid of humans.

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Roses are red Violets go poo My name is Dave How bout u

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Niggas be like you ugly and you playing hard to get, yo ass already hard to want!

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Why did the man starve to death? He had no food.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Whats worse than a fly in your soup? The Holocaust.

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a man is found hanging from the ceiling of a barn and there is no chairs or anything to stand on around. his girlfriend goes in to deep depression and kills herself the next week.

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Why did silly Miss Sally put her baby in the dishwasher? Because she was suffering from advanced stages of Schizophrenia. She thought that her baby was a dish. Her mother, Carol watched in horror as her granddaughter was placed inside. A tear dribbled from her eye. Things had been bad, but because Sally was her daughter, she had been tolerant. Carol sobbed as the baby screamed in terror, unable to escape. Finally, Carol, tears in her eyes, called Child Protective Services on her own daughter, something she didn't want to do. When CPS representatives finally came, they were horrified at the sight of a screaming baby covered in suds with burnt skin that had been scorched by hot jets. Sally's baby, Alex was taken from her and put into foster care.

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Why did the chicken cross the road So he could get back to the farm and lay more eggs

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Q: What did the man ask the waiter when he was seated at Cracker Barrel? A: May I please have more golf tees?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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