Why did your ears get blasted with sound? You never turned the volume down..

Where do black people get there hair cut? At a hairdresser.

How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17.

What do you call a black woman in a pool? Drowning.

What did the black man say to the Jewish man Nothing, because they were walking on the street and did not know each other

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish

I like turtoes.

Two penguins are sitting in the bathtub, the first one says to the second one "pass the soap." The other penguin says," what do I look like a radio?"

Mark Wilson

I wanted to burn alot of calories so i found a fat kid and set him on fire. :3

Why is Michael Jackson a bad chess player? Because he's dead.

Who is gay and sits next to me in my architecture class? The same Griffin Kid.

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

have u been drinking cannabel soup because you........ahhhhh!!!!! why are you trying to eat me!

What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

what did the man say to his wife? I love you

A dog walks into a bar and the bartender gives him a bowl of water because it is hot outside and he doesn't want the dog to dehydrate because he could die.

why did the kid get chemotherapy? because he had cancer

roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a sludge hammer, the other is a watermelon

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!


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