Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

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Ask me if I'm a flower. Are you a flower? No.

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What did Bambi say to her mother when her mother was killed? Nothing. Bambi's a deer. Duh.

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Gladly, you sound very confident, makes me happy. Well, doctors thought I had ADHD (go figure) but I am pretty calm outside the internet, then they went with ADD, but since my attention is twofold, this meaning that I can get a lecture, while noticing a toothpick falling on the other side of the room (noticing as in perceiving with focus not necessarily listening but you know, seeing from the corner of ones eye) Yet still focus well enough to get the lecture in details. So its not split focus such as in ADD, but dual, as in me being able to think about two things at once, but also burning out extremely fast, which again, is far from ADD.

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What's worse than death? Nothing.

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how Sudan answered England when England's ambassador eaten by Sudanese people? Eat ours

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Hide him under your coat.

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What is round and will hurt you if you step on it? The sun

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer procrastinated fixing the latch on the coop. Did his wife warn him this would happen? Yessss! Did he listen? Noooo!

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Who wakes up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy? P. Diddy.

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A morbidly overweight baby eats horse poop and dies a slow horrible death

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Izzy and Zayn Malick got married. Then Zayn asked for a divorce due to their age difference..

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why didn't the drug addict take steroids? he was going to but died due to years of substance abuse

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Why did Charlie Sheen laugh at the TV? Because there happened to be a comedy on.

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Why did the little boy commit suicide? Because his dad molested him.

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What did the Asian man say to the taxi driver? Diarrrhea

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Why was the poor man poor? Because he doesnt make money

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What kind of Mexican makes no money? A Mexican without a job.

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chuck norris was shot yesterday... tomorrow is the bullets funeral.

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What's red, green and smells like crap? Green and red crap.

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What did the patient say when the doctor told him he had aids? "Oh my god. Are you sure?"

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Why did the donkey fall over Because it had A diabetic foot infection and had to have a non traumatic amputation of the lower hind leg.

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Roeses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, My Name Is Dave, Microwave

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What happens when some one breaks apart your little brother's lego tower? You have a screaming little brother and a bunch of legos all over the floor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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