How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

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a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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What did Death say to Life? Go die.

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An Asian oceanographer went scuba diving in the Pacific Ocean. Three days later the coast guard found his remains torn apart by sharks.

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

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Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

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What has eyes but can't see? A blind person.

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Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

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Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

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Lewis

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What is the easiest way to babysit a black kid? Find an activity that you can both relate to and enjoy. Hopefully after doing this for a while, the youngster will become tired and fall asleep. You can then watch TV, read or talk on your cell phone until his or her parents get home.

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What is so bad about a black jew. They have to sit in the back of the gas chamber

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have AIDS, now so do you.

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what does a gay horse eat heeyyyyy

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A man walks into a bar. Later that night he comes home to an intervention and realizes he has a drinking has hurt him and his family.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for water. The bartender asks,"How would you like to pay?" And do you know what he said? "Charge it to the game."

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Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

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"Hey hey hey, did you hear the joke about the guy with terminal cancer?" "No." "Sorry to break it to you then."

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a motorcycle nothing, I dont have either

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a man dyslexic into bar walks a

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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