Four guys walk into a bar. They buy their drinks and stay for a couple of hours. After they are done they get a cab ride home. It was a lovely night.

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What's bigger than your penis? The Empire State Building.

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Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

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Why can Randy Moss Jump so high? Because he trained to jump high.

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no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?", laughs at his own joke, then calls animal control.

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Your momma is so old, it's just irresponsible of her not to have regular doctor appointments. Health should always come first.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't get back up? She had no legs.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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Patient: Doctor Doctor! Doctor: Yes. Patient: I think I'm a moth! Doctor: You don't need a doctor, you need Mental help. Patient: Yes I know. Doctor: Then why are you here? Patient: The light was on.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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What do you call a Black Priest? His title would probably be Reverend, and then his last name after it.

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Chuck Norris doesn't just have a chin underneath his beard. He also has part of his neck underneath his beard.

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Why did the clown chase the boy? The boy was sad and needed cheering up

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What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? " I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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Knock knock Who's there? No-one who??? *Silence*

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What's gayer than Justin Beiber? The guy getting a blowjob from him! Kelvin Yang.

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you: Why did the chicken cross the road? them: "To get to the other side...?" you: Oh! *stare*

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant scorpion.

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what did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? cancer

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Gary Busey walk into a bar. Everyone Ran out noticing the potential danger.

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What would George Washington do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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why did jimmy fall off the swing? because he was a tree.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops