What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one underneath it. What's worse than that? It has to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It goes back for seconds.

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9/11

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What is better than a Beer? Two Beers.

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Knock knock! Who's there? A doorbell-salesman

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

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One night a kid heard thunder and got scared. So he went to his parents bed and asked he could sleep with them. His mom said " Sure just don't look under the covers." He said okay and he looked under the covers and said " Daddy, why is your snake in Mommy's garden?"

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What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She compiled and saw the error of her ways.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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Q: What did Batman say when Robin was in the Batmobile? A: Robin, get out of the Batmobile.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know? I'm not a chicken :/

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yo mamas so young shes gonna b born soon

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Your mama's so stupid because she has down syndrome.

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whenever you come out of emma browns bedroom

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There were two friends, a girl and a boy. The girl had a ribbon tied to her neck, and every day the boy asked her why, yet she'd never tell him. They grew up together, and fell in love and still, she wouldn't tell him why she had the ribbon on her neck. They got married, and grew old, and still she wouldn't tell him. But one day, she said to him 'I'll show you why I keep this on my neck' and she took it off and her head fell off.

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if u ever get arrested by cop, just tell the cop this: "No no officer, you got it all wrong. It was only a game. It's called RAPE."

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard? Neither did she.

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What's yellow and shark infested? Shark infested banana pudding.

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What looks like half a loaf of bread. The other half

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pedophile

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Two Gay Men Walk Into a Bar, Not Just Any Bar...... a Sports Bar and Enjoy a nice cold Beer with their Heterosexual friends while watching the super bowl. They both go in the back room, where it is dark, together........ and they call for the manager to find out where the chef is so they can tie him down..... and smother him....... in questions concerning the size of his....... buffalo wings stop judging people you ass.

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Why did the door close? Because I closed it.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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