Yo momma is so fat that she is overweight

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Why did the elephant paint its toenails red? So it could hide in a cherry tree. Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? No.... See, it works!

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Emily Brunelle is skinny

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Why was the black man lynched? Because he was found by angry racists in the 1930's.

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Here's the senario, There are 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara dessert. the question is how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? The awnser is purple because ice cream has no bones.

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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What would you call the jetsons if they were black? Niggers

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Due to a lack of awareness of its surrounding, it died attempting to cross the road.

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So two guys walk into a bar and the third one ducks

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How do you know if there is an elephant in your fridge? Well, because there's an elephant in your fridge.

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What is annoying and orange? An annoying orange.

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Person 1: Can I ask you a question? Person 2: You just did.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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How many people with Alzheimers does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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Why isn't Neil Patrick Harris like Barney Stinson in real life? Because he's gay

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You do realize that in my home dimension of earth, I am just lying in the sun, typing on the goddamn laptop right? I mean are you retarded OR SOMETHING? I AM THE GODDAMN MORAL MAN! Moral: Honestly though, If I where like running around shouting this, I... Would begin to get slightly worried...

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Person 1: So now that were friends on facebook, you wanna hang out? Person 2: No I'd rather not.

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Three kids were waiting in line at a camp. One said how long is the wait. The other two said i hope its long. They were waiting in line for the gas chambers at auchwitz

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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What did the gay black man say after JFK was shot? Wow thats really sad but I have such an appetite right now so i should probably go to eat.

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What's black and twelve inches long? A Maglite.

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike!

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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What happened to the kid who slept on a roof? He died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops