What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

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What do you call a person trying to rob a store with no arms? Peter Pan

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An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had died.

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- Why did the black man turn off the TV when he saw 2 guys kiss each other? - He was late to the gay-party around the corner.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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What's red, blue, green, yellow, pink, purple, orange, teal, light green, brown, black and white? Colours, except for black and white, for they are the absence and amalgam of all colours, respectively.

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A horse walks into a bar. Being unable to comprehend human emotion, he shits all over the floor.

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What did the Asian bookkeeper say to the Jewish dog? I love you

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What's brown and sticky? A piece of toffee, which is brown and/or dark brown in color.

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What's the main difference between dogs and children? When children reach their teen years they grow up and leave home. When dogs reach their teen years they die of old age.

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One day little billy was wandering happily through the forest.He then trips and his legs disintegrate

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

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A Mexican walks into a club.

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Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

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whats something you really wanna call a black person it starts with an "N" and ends in an "R" A. Friend i was joking about the "N" and "R"

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

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Apple hates Blackberry.

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WHAT DO YOU CALL SOMEONE HAVING A MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION? Dead

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When life gives you lemonade, give life lemons and it'll be like WTF?!

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ACT 2 CHAPTER 4 GEARS OF WAR 3 TICKER EASTER EGG.... MICHAEL VICKS HOUSE

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dyeing.

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why couldn't the girl make her bed? she is homeless.

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timmy has no arms knock knock whos there? NOT TIMMY!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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