Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

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What do you get when you cut a stick of butter? a butt.

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A man penetrates another man.

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Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

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a man walks into a desert Obama is there to greet him and they have a nice chicken dinner

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John Kerry walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says, "Hey, why the lost election?"

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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what do yo call two dog? dogs.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bike? I don't enjoy riding bikes.

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what do you do if you see a black man covered in hot greece on the floor of the bus shelter? call an ambulance...

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names...

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How did Hitler fit 100 jews in his car? He didn't, he was too busy killing them in concentration camps.

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what do you get when you cross a giraffe and an octopus an abomination

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Q: What do you call a black guy with his degree in dentistry? A: Doctor

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whats black and goes to newy high Manyiel

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How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 6 cheated on 7 with 9.. 6 is now a victim of domestic violence.

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Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

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why did suzy get hit by the bus because she got dumped into the road and she had no legs

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer dragged him.

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What do you get when you cross a man with a horse? The Nobel Prize for your advancement of genetic sciences; centaurs aren’t real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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