What is the difference between a person with Alzheimer's and Aids? 24!

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Two guys walk into a bar.The barmen says "sorry we are closed." So the two men reply "There isn't a closed sign on the door and the door was open so we assumed it was OK to come in and have a drink". The barman says "Sorry we are closed at the moment but come back in 20 minutes and I can serve you". So the men leave and come back for a drink in 25 minutes time.

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy wuzzy had cancer.

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theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

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A boy walks up to a girl and says "Do you like ice cream? Cuz I have a huuuuuge penis."

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What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

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Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

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what do u call a Muslim flying a plane??? 9-11

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Why Didnt John Return any of his calls he was in a very serious car accident fell into a coma and will probablly will not wake up ever again

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Your mom is so old she died

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A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

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What's white on top and black on bottom? Society.

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What did the Asian see when he went to Youtube.com? Youtube.com

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Pickup line: Boy: Hey, do you have a library card? Girl: Yes

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Why can't penguins fly? Because their wings are adapted to swim and not to fly

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what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

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How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

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A girl asks her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Rose?" "Because when you were 1 day old a rose petal landed on your head." Another girl asked her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Daisy?" "Because when you were 1 day old a daisy landed on your head" "alualualualalughghphphpphphp" "Shut up fridge"

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A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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antijoke is the best website.

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A Duck, a Mexican guy and Helen Keller walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What do each of you want?" The duck doesn't respond because is is a duck. The Mexican guy doesn't respond because he doesn't know English that well. Helen Keller does't respond because she is dead.

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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