Knock Knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Just kidding, it's Danny. Oh okay, come in.

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whats bloop with an m? matthew

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What did the dog say to the human? Nothing really. Dogs technically "speak" through barking.

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Is this the krusty krab? No, this is Patrick

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the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was nailed to the chicken

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume

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When was George Washington born? Who the hell knows. He's older than dirt.

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A man with glasses and a cane walks out if a clothing store and accidentally bumps into a woman, knocking his hat off "Can't you watch where you're going?" the woman asks. The man then slaps her, knocking her to the ground. He picks up his new designer fedora, and drives off in his $90,000 Cadillac. The woman, after dusting herself off, gets the guy's plates, convinces a few witnesses to testify against the man, and informs the authorities of an assault. He was later arrested for assault as well as pimping and soliciting sex. He is found guilty in a court of law and is sentenced to 2-5 years in prison, and is doled a hefty fine.

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What do you call a bunch of whiteguys running down a hill? An Avalanche What do you call a bunch of black guys running down a hill? A Mudslide What do you call a bunch of mexicans running down a hill? A Jailbreak

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In Soviet Russia, Stalin kills you

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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what do you call a woman who has sex for money? smart.

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What did the boy get for his birthday? Older.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

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What does the rubbish do when it is depressed? It breaks down.

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How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

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Q: How do Hellen Keller's parents punish her? A: They give her a timeout

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Q: What do you get when you cross an alcoholic and a sex addict? A: A baby

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Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

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a white guy, a black guy, and a latino guy all walk into a bar. The white man explains how his family is in turmoil because of his alcholism, the black guy shares his affection for crack, and the latino man explains why he shouldnt be here due to illegal immigration. They all hate their lives. Quack

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Why did the Chicken commit suicide Because he Ms. Reed

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2

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "James" "James who?" "What the heck?You forgot me already?Its your bestfriend dude.Now let me in." ~Lil

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops