Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chipmunk fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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trump and hillary are both stranded on an island, who survives? america

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Why did the deaf man attend the music concert? He was invited by friends and wasn't doing anyhting else that evening.

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Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

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Dont drink and drive. You might spill some.

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who farted? umm........that guy.

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What's yellow, black, and makes you laugh? A bus full of black people going off a cliff.

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I can count to potato.

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Michael J Fox may not be able to draw a perfect circle but he sure can jerk off like a champ

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Why did I have sex with your mom? Because she was a beautiful individual with a fine taste in the classical arts. She also offered me a ride to her place for a delicious 3 course meal. Afterwards our romance blossomed and we decided to have sexual intercourse to show our mutual appreciation for each other.

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Stop looking at these jokes and go fuck yourself.

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McDonald. It's run by Lawers

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A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because due to the crashing economy he feels the need tom travel far distanced for work and food to support his growing family, this causes him to take dangerous routes of travel through hazardous areas with fast moving automobiles that potential have the chance to kill or severely Maine the distressed chicken. Not only does he have to cross these roads twice a day he is also under the added pressure of many millions of people questions why he takes such chivalrous actions to save the his future descent and the steep decline in the population of chicken.

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What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

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Two men walk in to a bar, one buys a beer. The second receives a phone call and leaves.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family!

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A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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Why didn't the 12-year old boy eat his birthday cake? He has diabetes and would likely die from the increased spike in insulin.

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Yo momma's so fat she went to Antartica and all the penguins were like, "Woah. You're fat."

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A guy walks into a bar. He's thirsty and wants a beer.

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what falls from the sky, is white, and can kill you a refrigerator

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Why did the Dentist recommend Oral B? He had been paid by the company and thus legally bound to do so.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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