Why does Billy Mays yell? He doesn't, he's dead.

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Yo momma's so poor, that when she went to the soup kitchen, she got food.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police your son died in a car wreck.

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What did bob say when he was told his beloved parents were dying? "oh"

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what do you call a black lawyer? a very well educated black man

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whats the same about a turtle and another turtle? they both seem to like lettuce

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Dad: "When I was your age, I had to walk outside to catch the school bus. If it snowed heavily the night before, school was canceled."

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette was stranded on a deserted island. A genie appeared and said nothing, because genies doesn't exist

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Knock Knock Who's there? I eat mop I eat mop who? That's strange, most American's don't eat poo I'm Asian

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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An old man walks into a bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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So a gay guy walks in a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind, get out." The gay says he will drink in the corner. Later, a construction worker walks into the bar. He says," Man, I'm so thirsty I could drink the sweat off a cows balls." The gay guy in the corners says," Mooooooooo."

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Why do I staple a mans mouth to his penis. Because I wanted to

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A man dressed in a white sheet shows up at an African American's door, they sit in the living room drinking coffee and watching the weather.

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What's the difference between a bench and a mexican? A bench is an inatimate object that people sit on and a mexican is a person of mexican descent

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Knock knock. Get out!!

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there once was a man named china who got stuck in yo mamas vagina he escaped through her butthole minus her butt mole and then died a horrible and painful death

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A French man, Irish man and Japanese man walk into a bar, seeing as the men speak different languages no conversation begins.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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a hard working man goes home after a long day at work to find that his wife left him for his even harder working father.

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what did the doctor say to the woman? I have 3 testicles

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can people thumb up the evil dead statment below please... its important to me. (and the cup joke below) thanks people , ur great.

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man: why did the chicken cross the road? other man: why ? man: i don't know, ask him your self. other man: ...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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