How did the blonde die? She got swallowed whole by a 1,000-foot scorpion.

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whats slower then a turtle A FATTY

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How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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What is the difference between Terri Schaivo and a basket of rotting vegetables? The rotting vegetables aren't edible.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't. Before it could cross, it was killed and then consumed by an average American

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Chuck Norris didn't count to infinite twice. He can't even do it once.

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I'm black and I will beat your children At checkers, they can have red

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What did the man say to the really attractive woman? We are different genders

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how did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken..

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Justin Bieber saying "shawty"

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Why did the bartender leave the bar? He worked really long hours and finally needed some time to sleep.

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HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

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Why did Bob throw butter out the window, Because he is mentally retarded.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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One dog says to the other "I love going for walks!" A women over-hears, screams "A Talking Dog!", and calls the police. The dog is put down and dissected for scientific research.

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Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

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yo momma is so fat that she contributes to americas obesity problem

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Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

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How did the little boy with cancer run in his running race??? Very Well....

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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(for comedians) I went to a coffee shop the other day. I ordered a coffee then sat down. Behind me there were two people talking. I didn't eves drop because it's impolite so I drank my coffee and left.

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Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son Scotty was grabbed by the sexual predator 4 blocks from the school, and your daughter Sally tried to run and is now under the wheels on the bus going round and round.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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