What did jesus REALLY say while walking on water? "I really hope I find a nice patch of sand to swim in."

How do you leave a jackass in suspense? I'll tell you later.

All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

What do you get if you cross James Bond with Osama bin Laden? James bin Laden.

Two Irish men walk in to a bar. Or maybe it was three. It's actually quite a common occurrence here in Dublin.

Why didn't suzie eat? Because she wasn't hungry

What did the black basketball player say to the white basketball player when he lost? Good game.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

Sidney Crosby comes face-to-face with Alex Ovechkin. The Penguins were playing the Capitals.

A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I would like a rum and............ Coke." The bartender asks, curiously, "What's up with the big pause?" The bear looks down at his paws, embarrassed, and mumbles under his breath, "social anxiety."

Whats brown and sticky? Brown glue

Why did the chcicken cross the road? To get to the other side nl

Holocaust jokes aren't funny. Anne Frankly, they're just out of bad taste.

Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

Jesus walks int a hotel and places a handful of nails on the counter in front of the innkeeper. He is immediately turned away as the innkeeper understandably does not accept nails as currency.

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whats retarded and looks like a fat duck? GEorge goodburn

When life gives you melons, your probably dyslexic.

What do people say when a dyslesic person scores a goal in soccer good job that was a nice goal

poop

Why did the audience leave disappointed? Low budget and poor directing.

Whats worse than a gay pride parade? Genocide.

What's the difference between a woman with an IQ of 160, and a man who is mentally challenged? The woman wasnt premature and abused from an early age.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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