get it right up there, says jacob while with danni

okay so three men are in a plane ( this is the type of plane you can open the windows) so the stewardess goes up to the first man he asks for a gun she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window he confused but he does it anyways the stewardess goes to the second man he asks for a beer she agrees but he has to throw it out the window hes confused but he does it anyways the stewardess walks up the the third man he asks for a pack of C4 she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window without hesitation he gets it and throws it out the window. so they land and the first man sees a women crieing i was walking down the street and got hit in the head by a gun and arested for being armed the second man sees a hobo cheering loudly hes says he was sleeping in the ally and it started raining budlight the third man shes a women hysterically laughing she says i was going to work and spilled my coffe then my house blew up!

what did Charlie Sheen say after he won a game of chess? I just won a game of chess!

what did the kid with no head get for his birthday? A coffin.

What do you call a deer with no eye? NO IDEAR!

Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

How do you make an anti joke? You ask a question that could have a presumably amusing answer, but make the joke less amusing by stating an obvious answer, therefore completely bamboozling the victim of the anti joke, and making you seem like a man that has a lot of common sense.

Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

What do you get when you cross a RPG with a cell phone? A microwave

Why did Sally failed gym class Because she couldn't do push ups

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms

Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

What kind of pizza did the world trade center order? Two cheese pizzas.

A penis walks into a bar..

Your mothers so dumb that when she had to take a math test, she received a significantly lower grade than the rest of her classmates.

I said I read te terms of service. I didnt

What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

What is mary short for? Mary had an accident with a semi-truck and had to get both of her legs amputated.

What do you call a cool pig? SPIDER-PIG!!!

What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? Get on the ship.

What do you call a red ballon? It depends on its color duh!

Man walks into Malaysian Airlines "Hey, can I have the next flight to--" "This is our only policy! You pay the fare we pick the where."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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