Hello Braydon I am at home where are you?

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there are two muffins in an oven. one says "its getting hot in here". the other says " oh my gosh!!! its a talking muffin!!!"

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Linda: See that rainbow? Isn't it beautiful? Bart: I'm color blind.... Linda: Well...this is awkward...

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Q. what has 2 tums and a boner. A. a horny guy <3

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Female Orgasms

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I like my coffee like I like my women. Ground up and in the freezer

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stuck on a desert island together. They eventually succumb to dehydration and heat exhaustion. They lasted five days.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

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Why could susan not get up? Because her limbs were hacked off by a African militia group.

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all the kids had fun

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you just lost the game

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had a good wank over anime yesterday xoxo dylan hodge

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What has one head, three eyes and seven legs? A cow with a tri-pod rammed up it's arse. The third eye is a result of a birth defect.

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what is worse than finding finding an apple in your worm? Finding your peanut shells in your peanut.

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What did the two homosexual dolphins do when nobody was around? They continued on their way because neither of them had met.

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PENIS :)

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Can I have a dollar? I don't know, can you?

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures.

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what did one waiter say to the other? were waiters.

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Why did the teacher ask her student about the test? Because she was in the hospital the day of the test because her husband was hit by a rail road spike and died but she was so devoted to her job she wanted to know.

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What do tigers dream of when they take a tiger snooze? Mike Tyson

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This ones for the dudes: Whats worse then having sex with a woman with no penis? Having se with a man

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Your mom is so fat that she has high cholesterol. Moral: I AM NOT CRAZY! Said the man to the dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops