How do you get a firetruck to swerve uncontrollably? Shoot the driver with a 12 gauge.

What's black and white and red all over? The color spectrum. Along with other colors.

Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

Yo mama's so poor, she doesn't have a lot of money.

Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have ADD ...

Little Justin's bike has a flat tire has a flat tire. He asks his dad to inflate it. "Sure Justin I can fix that for you." Said his father. But he overinflates the tire, causing the tire to explode and ignite the chemicals. The house burns to the ground, killing Justin and his parents. The fire then spreads and the hole city burns. 50,000 people die.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

What blew the baby's mind? Daddy's knuckles.

Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was tied to the first Monkey. Why did the third Monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

Carlos was on the computer writing anti-jokes. They all scuked.

Why did the boy take the train to school? Because he lived quite far away.

Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning. This is also known as sunburn.

Why couldn't the boy with no arms and no Legs swim? Because he was black.

What did the man say when he was stabbed on the street? Nothing, because he died.

What's worse than finding a hair in your sandwitch? Finding a dead baby in your salad!

How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? none, you can't see them in the dark. Vincent

Why did the pirate get kicked out of the pirate movie? He killed 7 people while looking for treasure under the seats.

Q: What's green, red, and covered in cookie crumbs? A: A dead girl scout.

What do you call a bunch of black guys on mars? a problem What do you call 1 million black guys on mars? a bigger problem What do you call all the black guys on mars? a solution

Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? YOU'RE UNDER ARREST! GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR! NOW!

Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Being caught by the store manager, arrested, convicted, and thrown into jail for petty theft and then getting ass-raped for the next 3 months all because you wanted to check an apple without paying for it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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