Knock knock. Who's there? Come in.

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Why do Jew's have long noses? To dig out of the ashes.

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Why did Alice cross the road? Because she wasn't funny. At all. So the people on the other side of the road asked her to do so.

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

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why couldnt the boy get into the pirate movie? he was hit by a mexican telephone server.

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what goes up and down , and left and right all day without breaking a sweat? A compass, get your mind out of the gudder.

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Q: Whats the difference between a pile of dead babys and a Ferrari? A: I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

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"Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave."

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Whats blue, flies with wings, weights over two tons, and has a rocket engine with six eyeballs? *hayball rolls* Moral: Im the one asking you...

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Whats the differance between a pizza and a black person? a pizza can feed a family

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Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

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What's hard, long and screws a blond? An IQ test.

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What do you call a black man at the head of the U.S.? A mistake.

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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Three Lawyers are walking, one falls down, gets up and continues walking

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Why was the man with one leg good at balancing on one foot? He used crutches.

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Come over here boy and have a cigar, you're gonna go far. Congratulations on being the first human cannonball, please use the cigar to light the fuse. Happy landings.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is concerned about his fitness and decided to walk to work instead of drive.

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what did the dog say to the cat? give me back my dog food.

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A horse walks into a bar. Realizing the severity of the situation, the bartender heads toward the exit... stumbling over a chair.

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What do you call a pig and a ball when u come across both of them? A ball hog!

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Q. There were 2 Mexicans in a car, who was driving it? A. The police officer.

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what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops