how do you get a girl of a swing? puch her off! how do you get her friend of a swing? throw a refridgerator at her!

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why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

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so a moose walks into a super market and asked the lady where can I find the potatoes the lady says isle five so the moose goes to isle five and there aint no potatoes.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? To bite a rubarb stick.

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Why did the boy ask his dad for a phone? Because he had his head stuck up a sheeps bum

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well why wouldn't it?

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Why did the asbestos cross the road? Because it was being removed from an elementary school due to the fact that asbestos is an air pollutant which is regulated under section 112 of the Clean Air Act of 1970.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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A paralyzed guy walks into a bar... Oh wait, he can't.

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An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

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What did the little boy say after he was pushed off the cliff? Nothing. He died, therefore, he is incapable of speaking.

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Q: What do you call an orange if it isn't orange? A: Nothing. Chances are you won't see it until it has ripened.

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Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

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Knock knock Who's there It's a policeman informing you that your parents have been killed in a car crash. Your Dad, who has been struggling with substance abuse and depression, found out his wife had been cheating on him, and in a drunken rage, wrapped the car around a tree.

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knock knock , who is there the postman the postman who ? the postman who is gonna give you a bill !

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smug face >:}

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I was going to tell a gay joke. But that would offensive

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How did the plumber fix the leaky faucet? Trick question. The plumber is actually an iguana.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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roses are brown violets are brown, who took a shit in my garden

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Listen I know you're a cat and I'm a cat but I know we can be friends

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I'm Color Blind F*CK

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Don't make my new Nazi friend upset, or he'll be Fuhrerious

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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