Roses are shut the f*** up. Violets are shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up.

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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Why is the spine-tailed swift is the fastest bird? Because its faster than the second fastest bird

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What is up, the color blue and has a face? the sky. there is no face.

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A dyslexic canadian walks into an arab

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What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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2 snare drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.... ba dooom chesh

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Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

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Yo mamas so fat when she was standing on a scale a girl walked by and said hey thats my phone number! Yo mamas so fat she broke the family tree!

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Your momma is so ugly... Yeah, yeah, yeah my momma's ugly, but guess what, at least I'm not an orphan asshole.

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? You poke-er--face....pokerface.

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What's the difference between a leopard and a coffee table? There is no difference. They both have four legs.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Postman Will you sign hear please he said Oh my toaster came

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what did the ginger say to the other ginger? I dont now i dont speak GINGER!!!

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What is invisible and smells like rabbits? Bunny farts.

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Lebron Traveled

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What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

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What did the priest say to Jesus when he revealed himself on Christmas morning? Happy birthday

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A grasshopper goes into a bar It is stepped on and crushed.

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What's worse than getting a divorce? Nuclear warfare

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because skeletons cannot live on their own and there is no such thing as a skeleton that can walk across roads without muscles.

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Why did the pencil break? A Viking destroyed it with his beard.

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How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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