Was in a coma, survived trough smoke and mirrors, and I had 3 separated sections of my order in order to test the efficiency of my words, united we are about 6.800.000 people. Excuse my anger below, I mean I was in a coma and ended up on some hard painkillers, and while I am still tapering down on a "totally medicinally safe" dosage of 20 mg valium its a bitch, even for a guy that enjoys a mild painkiller every now and then in order to focus. Excuse my excessive typing, its paincontrol vs the stress and all 64 side effects of valium. I am alive, and my followers know that, I do not mean to brag, but Neronism tends to end up fucked up when I am gone with people trying to live up to what only I can do apparently, so I decided it was time to mash the separate groups together... Btw, we live at point zero now, if you do not know where that is, I can inform you at later time. But be quick about it if you have more questions, we only chat on horsehead due the "discussed hours"

What disease did Harry Styles get? 1Infection! (if you don't know, Harry Styles is 1direction's manager)

Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

Why couldn't 7 multiply itself by 18? Because there were two people having sex in between them.

Why does Toby suck! Because he sucks!

hey i just met you and this is crazy but so

Why did Suzy Fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

What's black, white, and red all over? Many different things are black, white, and red; to list just one would be an unfair judgment of things containing these three colors.

what happens when an Indian walks into a bar? they realize they found there way home

Haikus are awesome but sometimes they don't make sense hippopotamus

What has two legs, and is red all over? Half a cat.

What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

what do you call 20 black people under the ocean? a tragic boating accident

Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

Boys have swag, real men have class

What's worse than an anti-joke? People who don't get the concept of an anti-joke and post regular jokes on this site.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

What do you call an arab with a shemagh on his head and a gun A man who is concerned for his wellbeing and family

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. A.Knock knock B. Who's there? A.Not Susie

Studies show that 95% of house fires are caused by fire.

I man was taking a major shiit He forgot to wipe

peter charastabopouloulous

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow And daisies can be a wide variety of colours.

Why do gay people go to the beach on memorial? idk im not gay

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...