A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +6,313

I know there are, its not the illuminati, its not reptilian shapeshifters, nor Gods politicians nor the human condition. Its society today as it stands, they did not have the right to attack us, but if we had surpassed them, they would have lost all power, they are the relics of the past, and no matter how many of them stand, they do not grow, and what does not grow, stagnates until it finally dies. Lose hope in people most all you want, but not in the few that truly believe in you for all the good reasons in the world, perhaps we are idealists, or maybe we know that with you by our side, what we see as ideals, is something you can make come true.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Three blind mice walk into a bar, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

thumb_up thumb_down +274

How do you stop the neighbors kids from jumping the fence into your property? Molest them.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How many black people does it take to screw In a lightbulb.....I can't see them.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did God say to Abraham? Nothing, because God doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Sticks and stones can break my bones And words can make me lonely

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why do so many Koreans go to medical school? Practicing medicine is a rewarding and respected career.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What is the biggest fictional book ever made? Either the Bible, or the Dictionary.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Equal rights!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the rabbit jump? Because that's what rabbits do.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas? He's his dad. He bought the presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you pick up girls in Auschwitz? With a dustpan

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Sally fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is green fuzzy and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Wow, thats warming to the core Nero, you are really sweet when you want to, I was having a lot more than second thoughts, I mean I do not mind the thought of sex with you really and I mean that, but losing who I already consider my best friend would just be sad. So uh, sex once huh? I mean, one more feather on the uh, hat thing, is that what this is about to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why can't T-rex give hih fives, Because they're dead...

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +7

You know what's really funny? Cancer What's funnier than that? The Holocaust Even funnier? Charlie Sheen

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the lion get lost? -The jungle is massive

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops