What did the apple say to the apple? Nothing, they're apples.

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Why did the cow cross the road? -Because it lives in India and is allowed to.

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Where does Charlie Sheen Shop? Winners

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.Ttwo guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked.

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Your Momma's so ugly that if she got plastic surgery she would probably look better

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How do you make a burns victim cry? You show them a mirror.

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How do you make a baby cry? Drop a brick on its head.

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A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

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Q: What weighs 6 ounces, is extremely dangerous, and lives in a tree? A: A sparrow with a machine gun.

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Q: How do you stop a hobo from stealing your money A: You steal the hobo

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Why was the blonde so dumb? She had a severe case of dyslexia, which made it difficult to study.

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How many cupcakes are there in the world joe How many? I don't know I was asking you.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven, they get burned because the oven was left on for to long and they end up being thrown away.

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Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff.

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Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

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Knock knock Who's There..... Guess who's coming Who's coming Me inside you !

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What do you call a fly without wings? Injured and left for dead.

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what do you get when you cross a red snugulo and a blue glurga? your on acid

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer..... Just Kidding! He got a bike!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am epileptic. SLAWWAWASWAKHINGAGAGAGAKIHARGAVBAZSAWAWAWAWAAAAA

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How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

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A stranger pulls up next to a little boy walking home from school. The stranger offers the boy a ride home. The boy says yes, gets in the car, and is driven home as promised

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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