What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant scorpion.

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A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation. ~Yashar - pirater un compte facebook Peace out :)

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Have you heard about the Polish princess? There isn't one. The Polish monarchy was abolished in 1918.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Knock knock. Who's there? To. To who? To whom.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven.

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How to you kill two birds with one stone? You use a precision hunting rifle to mortally wound two flying birds, then put them on a platform and break their skulls with one rock. Separately.

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What would George Washington do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is Patrick.

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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When Michael Jackson was making his last son, he named him Blanket... he was cold.

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Wanna hear a good joke? Sure. So does Hellen Keller

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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Why did the dog bark at the tall white man? Because the tall white man was in the process of attempting to rob the house in which said dog was situated. The dog was merely defending its patch.

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A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

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A black man is setting up contingency measures of protection in his personal place of residence when all of a sudden, several warning alarms sound and a few specialized people with red "combating" devices who were alerted by the blatant scenerio unfolding before them were moving quickly in order to match previously stipulated criteria of value. The black man and his family were partaking in a monthly fire drill unfolding in their own house since they were extremely responsible, law-abiding citizens of the city they were located in that required various kinds ofl saftey precautions to be taken so to mitigate the serious chance that people might be hurt by preventable, residential distasters.

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Q: Why is Rosie odonell fat? A: Because you are sexual attracted to small children.

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Knock Knock. - Whose there? ... ... ... ... Damn kids.

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make me a sandwich!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ben. Oh hi! come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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