Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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What did one dolphin say to the other after watching a banana dance with an afro. My pancreas was replaced with a mango.

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What did the policeman say to the chav? Dickhead!

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why did the jewish man die answer The hollucost

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What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

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Why did the fat kid rob a pizza shop? Because he happened to like pizza.

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Q: What happened when Paul couldn't decide on Pornhub or Redtube. A: nothing since he doesn't have a d***

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What's the difference between car keys and truck keys? Literally nothing.

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Q: What would George Washington do if he were alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Q: Why was the old man sad? A: Because he has a quarter super glued to the bottom of his foot

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Yo mama is so fat, Dora couldn't explore her. Yo mama is so dumb she brought a spoon to the Super bowl. Yo mama so hairy, Bigfoot took her picture and screamed he was gonna be a millionare.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christimas? A: Cancer.

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Yo momma's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror she decided to get plastic surgery.

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what happens when you jump of a cliff usually you die

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What's blue and smells like yellow paint? Blue paint.

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Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.

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What is orange and smells like a jewish cat. Nothing

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Two Jewish kids walked into a bar... mitzvot.

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Abbie has head so far up her arse, it just LOOKS like it's coming out her neck.

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A dog walks into a bar and falls on his butt beacause dogs cant walk.

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what does it mean when Justin Bieber sounds like a boy someones hit puberty

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drake

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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