Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

Why did the girl run over the road? Her buttons rolled to the other side! (From a book called... Al-capone does my shirts) (Natilie)

I have a black guy in my family tree? Yea, his still hanging their

what do you call 6 black guys hung in a tree? a arazona wind chime

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Lots of things. Life isn't all about you, you know.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit! I can talk too!"

How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

hot diggity dog

Why are black people afraid of white people? Over two hundred years of oppression.

Q: What's worse than one dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? A: One dead baby in ten trash cans.

A man walks into a bar. He is an alcohol and it is killing his family.

Q: What did the blonde woman say? A: My hair is blonde

Knock Knock Whos there? Your mom My mom died three years ago, please go away while i cry.

What do you call it when a black man and a japanese woman get married? A wedding.

Uh, Liz, he is staring at the screen... He says you are right and knows, so he cant get mad, ill trust you both, but it better work, or this one is on me. Oh by the way, yeah he is eating, sorry its late here, and I am the only nurse here about now Ironically this place is full of doctors but they dont seem to give a crap about the man that pays their checks. Doctors said no, Nero said "you are fired" Doctor changes his opinion, glad to see he is taking charge around here, I am just worried about his sleep, he is beginning to halucinate and I doubt any stimulants will help. But fine, ill trust you, sorry, really shaking my boots here, I really do not want to, but this is not about me.

What's worse than a papercut? Dying

what's worse than being chased by a turtle? being chased by an angry turtle

what's blue and goes blub blub? a blue blub blub

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

Why did the room packed with married people seem empty? Maybe they were all playing hide-and-seek. Or maybe the room was pitch black and they were all standing very still and quietly.

what did the Hispanic man say to the black man? hello

A man walks out of his house and sees a......BIRD!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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