Thumbs up if you're reading this in 2015!

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Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. It is a coincidence that none of them have the same hair colour.

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What do you call something round and red that tastes like a tomato and shoots through walls? A Super Tomato. And what do you call a banana that shoots through walls? A banana trying to be a Super Tomato.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? If you eat a Jew, you're deemed a cannibal and are frowned upon by the majority of society.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? The 2 nouns in the sentence has been switched.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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why couldn't the girl make her bed? she is homeless.

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How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

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What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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What's black and hangs from a tree in my yard? A tire, and it also happens to be a swing.

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whos a tramp and stinks? David Bell

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Rachel not blowing Robert.

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two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

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what the **** is wrong with kieran scotts forhead!

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

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if you are what you eat then you're a hamburger

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IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left the fence open, so it wandered around and happened to cross a road.

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Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

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What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops