what rhymes with pirates? not Somalia because i don't consider a inflatable boat a pirate ship.

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Say eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite lollipop? Choppa Chups.

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Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

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What should you do when your husband is staggering in the back yard Shoot him again

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What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

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luke moore cant pull it back

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What do gay guys eat? Normal food like every other human being.

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A man was going to take his girlfriend to prom, and decided to pick up his suit from the dry cleaners. Unfortunately, there was a long line. He then went to pick up some flowers for his date, but there was a long flower line. Finally, he takes his date to prom and decides to get some punch for them.He returns with the refreshing beverage and the couple has a wonderful time.

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Chuck Norris can cook ramen noodles with a microwave.

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How do you shock thomas eddison? Attatch his kite to his balls.

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I don't always finish my sentences but when I do...

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How many women does it take to arrange my new Ethan Allen furniture? Just one, I was told it was divorce present. She took it with her.

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A seal walks into a club.

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What do you call a bird with wings? Redundant.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know I'm not a bird physcologist

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Why couldn't the convicted felonist come back to America? He lost his passport.

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What did the black man say while getting mauled by a jungle cat? "Help im dying", as the animal riped him peice by peice with fear in his eyes he died slowly as the jungle cat draged him back to its den helplessly he fades away and the animal eats him.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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What is worse than getting a 30% on a test? Getting a 29% on a test.

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What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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