Roses are blue Violets are red I got this backwards Carpets are nice

Women are like fish. It's hard to tell when they are crying underwater.

The joke below this comment is stupid. Lets go Mets

So an irish man walks into a bar, 10 seconds later he is dead. What happened was there was a sharp piece of metal on the bar so is cut his throat and he bleed to death.

Q: Why MohammadReza Is a Bitch? A: Because he isnt a whore

Have you seen Stevie wonders new house..... It's ok he hasn't either.

How many tickles can you give an octopus? Ten tickles

A kid walks in to a bar. The bartender asks the boy where his parents are and he replies that he does not know. They call the police who proceed to try to contact the boy's parents. They have gone missing so the boy must go up for adoption. He gets adopted by an abusive family and runs away. Without a family, job, or money, he could not afford a house. He lived alone in a box until he died of starvation.

What did the bacon say to Sam's eggs? Why are you green?

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

What do you get when you mix a mexican and a frenchman? A person of mixed racial heritage.

What's as red as a Lobster? A Lobster

why did the chicken go to the man? TO ask if he wants sex for money

There once was a man from Nantucket.

Three blondes walk into a bar. I prematurely ejaculate.

Who has the biggest cock A rooster

It was a warm summer day when justin beiber got hit by the bus everyone was cheering

why did Michael Jackson cross the road? He didnt he is dead.

Q: Why should you never let Jerry Sandusky babysit your children? A: Because, in November of 2011, Sandusky was arrested and charged with 40 counts of sexual abuse of young boys over a 15-year period. A man with this type of background does not seem like a an ideal choice for a babysitter.

Why did the baby die? I killed it.

how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

--Knock Knock Who's there? --Banana Banana who? --Knock Knock You just said that --Sorry i have Alzheimer's

CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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MOAR??

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