Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

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Q: why did everyone on the ship drown? A: Because the ship sunk

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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Q:how man ADD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: I dont know, wanna go ride bikes?

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Do you have a curfew? No its saturday!

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Why are cats mammals? Because they are descended from primordial mammals in the distant past which are the common ancestors of all mammals.

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What did the ghost say when it stubbed its toe? Ow

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What did the black guy do when he heard sirens? He Ran

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because it was going to the destination he wanted to go to.

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What did the stuffed animal say to the human after the human said hi? Nothing, after all stuffed animals can't talk

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Why did the dog bark at the tall white man? Because the tall white man was in the process of attempting to rob the house in which said dog was situated. The dog was merely defending its patch.

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Yo Mama's so fat, she weighs more than an electron.

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Why does the man leave the store, with two lemons in his shopping bag? Because lemons happened to be one of the items of food he had purchased.

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Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

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What did the man with Tourette's say to the other man? Surely something he did not mean to say.

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Remember when they called online casino`s betting sport? Anti Joke potential detected. I used to play soccer and box back then, but I guess I was still not "sporty" enough for betting sports... And as thus I afforded my lawyer education. Moral: Now that you know my education, do you really think id ever type real morals here? Mwahahahaha!

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Two men walk into a bar, the third man ducks.

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A ginger man ascends to heaven and reaches the pearly gates, seconds later he wakes up in a hospital bed and realizes it was merely a near death hallucination and God isn't real.

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What's red ad spins in circles? A baby with it's head nailed to the ground.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had previously driven over innocent civilians who were all constipated and had now caused a mild to extremely large shitstorm.

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How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Two.

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an irishman an american and a jihadist get a plane were did they go right through my house

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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I was watching two muffins baking in an oven. One said to the other, "Wow, it's hot in here." The other one said "Wow! A talking muffin!" I went to my psychiatrist the next day, to increase the dosage on my medication.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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