A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

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You're at a funeral & your phone goes off and the ringtone is dead and gone

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What happens when a Republican accidentally walks into a Gay/Straight Alliance meeting? The man asks if he is in the right place. He apologizes and then leaves.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why did the one-legged chicken say déjà vu? It felt a strong sensation that the current event had been experienced in the past.

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was a crybaby

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What did the skeleton say to the vampire? Nothing because a skeleton wouldn't have a larynx.

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Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road? To get to the other side.

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What is stupid? I would say you but these jokes are worse.

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What did Jesus say as he walked on water and people went like WOHOO! OMG WE ARE TOTALLY GOING TO CHISEL THIS INTO JEWTUBE SO EVERYONE CAN SEE! "BEHOLD AS I WALK UPON THIS WATER WHILE ALL OF YOU HAVE FAILED BEFORE ME! ONLY I CAN WALK OF THIS WATER OF FROZEN WITHOUT SLIPPING! Nero: Because go fuck yourself asshole. Lol... Jewtube was not as widely available as youtube so yeah... Walking on ice without falling over was a big thing back then... You know such as OMG! EATING BREAD AND DRINKING WINE! WOOOOOOAAAAH SCIENCE! AND BURNING BUSHES SPOKE AND... Moral: "Ill be back, you know, just to annoy you, and because I want to, a real man needs no other reason, and that is why you fuckers need so many of them"

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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my girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile, thats a big word for a 3 year old

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What's wrong with your hand!!!!!???? nothing.

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Your dad is so fat that he is on a diet.

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Q:how do you fit 100 jews in a car? A:2 in the front 3 in the back and the other 95 in the ashtray

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poo poo you you doo doo too too

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin mobile XD

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What do you call a muslim who is not a terrorist ? A muslim

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ur left leg is cristmas nd ur right leg is thanks giving can i vist

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Three bears take a bath Red bear asks for the shampoo Blue bear wants the soap Wait... That's not a joke, that's a Haiku

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme oo

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A gorilla walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of celery. The bartender stands speechless due to the ridiculousness of the given situation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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