Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind.

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The Female Orgasm

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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How do you kill a polar bear? Global Warming.

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A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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NASCAR

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One day a farmer was planting his crops. All of a sudden he was hit by the magic school bus.

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guess what Beethoven is doing right now. de-composing

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What did one theoretical physicist say to another theoretical physicist? Hey there Bill, how's Nancy and the kids doing?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have altzhiemers Cheese on toast.

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What's round and red? A round and red solid.

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Someone listens to an anti joke. They laugh.

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"bluar blah blah blarRR/ the stupid pointless part" dead people/ animals/ objects can't talk/ drive/ operate compueter, lol I'm so focken funni

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How many ADD kids does it take to change a light bulb? Wanna ride bikes?

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

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A Chinese man, a Mexican man, and an American man are all on a plane in-flight when the pilot screams over the intercom, "We are two pounds over weight! The plane is going down unless you all throw off useless things that have no value in your countries!" The Chinese man throws out a pair of chopsticks and an egg roll and says, "I have too many of those in my country." The Mexican does the same with a taco and sombrero, repeating, "I have too many of those in my country." The American looks around his items pondering what things are too common in the USA. He locks his eyes on the Mexican. The other passengers are shocked as the American throws off a hamburger and a football.

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? Probably also quizzical in some sense, but there are several other adjectives that could describe tests as well.

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How are a cow and a wall the same? They both go "moo". Except for the wall.

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What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

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Whats gay, has a nice ass, and can such a mad dick? Everyone at LNS, including me, Glenn. Just kidding I like bitches.

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Friends are like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe. N

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What did the unicorn eat for a snack? Nothing. Unicorns are a majestic fiction animal.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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