Why did Silly Billy throw a clock out the window? Because he has a serious anger problem.

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What happens if you are in the north pole at a temperature of -2 Cº and you throw a rock to the air in straight line? The green rockeater will eat it

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What did the underprivileged girl get for Christmas? Nothing because Santa Claus is a media generated holiday icon and the real St. Nicolas has been deceased for almost 700 years.

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Q: What do you call a successful black person? A: A fictional character.

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A black guy walked into a convenience store. He then found what he wanted, and paid with his credit card.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was younger, he was made fun of by all the bigger numbers. Everyday after school he would go home and wonder why he was made fun of. Was it his looks? How tall he was? The pain and suffering never stopped. He thought of suicide every day he got home from school. One day his mom got home from work and found 6 bleeding in the shower. She thought he was dead. She hurried him to the hospital where he was barely kept alive. After months of recovery, he started going back to school. The bullying never stopped, they started calling him a loser who should have died. He got older and depressed as a teenager. He got ahold of alcohol and began drinking. He went to meetings and got over his addiction. 10 years later he meets up with 7. It takes him back to his horrible childhood with the big numbers. Every time 6 sees 7, he gets reminded of everything. 7 had also murdered someone in front of 6.

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I walked down a dark alley at night and ran into 2 black men. They said hello and were on their way

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They promptly order their drinks and leave.

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Quick! It's a fly, call the swat team!!!

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how do you make a janeter cry, you shit on the floor

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What do you get when you cross a sponge with a Bob? Spongebob.

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How many Jews does it take to fix a gas leak?...

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What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A girl who really needs to see the doctor.

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Q: What's grey and looks good on policemen? A: A stylish grey hat.

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How do you kill a blond wearing a hat? Shoot her in the face.

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Why did the elephant paint its toenails red? So it could hide in a cherry tree. Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? No.... See, it works!

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you know what sucks more than getting raped by a gorilla? getting raped by two gorillas.

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What did the elephant say to the pelican? He didn't say anything. I lied.

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What did the therapist say to the other therapist? We are both therapists

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Whats the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari? The Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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Yo Momma is Like a Prostitute... ...I pay her for sexual intecourse

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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I take the "the" out of Psychotherapist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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