Q. What goes 100 mph and is green? A. A frog in a blender

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What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

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They see me rollin' They hatin' Patrolin they try to catch write a joke Try to catch me write a joke Try to catch me write a joke (tootle loo, I see you ;)

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Why did the baby cry? Because he fell off a refrigerator.

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What is long, erect, and 12 inches long? A ruler.

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Yo mama so stupid she liked this joke

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks why the long face. The guy responds because cancer is a horrible disease. Oh yah did I mention the guy has cancer? $

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like ass, And no one loves you!

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What do you call a horse with wings and a horn on his head? Drunk

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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A Black man walks out of a KFC.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a Nazi.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a pineapple? There will be no funeral for the pineapple..

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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Whis a racist rapist etter than a non-racist rapist? less women getting raped

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Why was the lady afraid of rocks? Because her husband was stoned.

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How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

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Avery has crabs.

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What did the boy say to the girl seductively eating a banana? A: bananas are my favorite fruit

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Why couldn't the 11-year old get into the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! That is a joke which very few people would find even mildly entertaining.

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Yes" the man replies, because he is aware that the bartender wasn't actually asking if the day way long, but rather if the day was hard.

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Brian: farts RJ: Who farted? Brian: Idk Why? Rj: Smells like sweet ass back here

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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