What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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hahah i just thought of a funny joke!!!!!!

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roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What kind of society have we created that a chicken can't even cross a road without his motives being questioned?

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Guy walks into a bar and half his head is an orange. Barman: What can i get.. holy shit half your head is an orange!! How did that happen?? Guy: Magic Lamp, rubbed it, three wishes etc etc. Barman: What in the bejesus were your three wishes, half your head is an orange. Guy: First Wish – I wished for every woman in the world to love me. Barman: Right, that is ok. What was your second wish? Guy: Second Wish – I wished that I was a billionaire. Barman: What in the hell was your third wish half your head is a frickin orange? Guy: It was a silly wish. I dot wanna say: Barman: Go on tell me, I’ll give you a drink. Guy: OK well for my third wish I wished that half my head was an orange.

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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you know whats worse then losing your banjo? finding a spleen in it's place

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.

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Your momma's so fat...

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An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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WHART++EWEEEEEEEP FLARPEN CARPEN FLARP

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Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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A buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand asks the server to make him one with everything

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What the the newly born male dog get for his first birthday? A loss of two testicles.

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Why did the elephant paint its toenails red? So it could hide in a cherry tree. Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? No.... See, it works!

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Knock knock *runs away laughing*

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Two muffins were in an oven. One muffin said "Wow, its hot in here." The other muffin said "Oh my gosh a talking muffin!" The house burnt down because the oven created a fire.

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What happened when the boy got sad He fell in a woodchipper

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food before? No? Well neither have they.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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