What has wings and can't fly? What has legs and can't move? What has mouth and can't eat? A dead bird on the road

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I saw a chameleon. Then it died

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Why did the jewish man pick up a nickel on the street? Because he understands the value of saving money.

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the website says jokes, yet these are all facts.

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how did the fat guy fall off the swing? the chain on the right side broke because of is eccesive weight that he probably should have lost last year on biggest loser.

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A woman goes to the hospital to receive an ultra-sound after taking a pregnancy test a few weeks before. The doctor comes out and says "Congratulations Susanne would you like to know the results? Susanne says "No thank you." Then, the doctor says "Good, because its actually a retarded baby that we found."

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side

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If a man is alone in the woods and there is no one there to tell he's wrong is he right? If a tree falls on a women.... Before we tell the rest why was there a tree I the kitchen?

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What do you do when your archenemy walks up to you? Kill them due to their vulnerability, I mean they walked up to you...

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[Enter Funny-Anti Joke Here] [Enter Retarded Answer Here]

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What's a group of people that has an N, an I, two Gs, an E and an R that have no souls? Gingers.

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Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid with two stump arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Yo momma so fat, when she went out side in a red dress, everyone yelled "HEY, KOOL-AID!"

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting brutally raped in the anus by the Dark Lord Satan.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? An alive one at the bottom eating its way up.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. ;)

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What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

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Knock knock. Who's there? Come in.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He was perfectly happy where he was.

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A special needs student walks into a girls change room, and is then escorted out unaware that what he did was socially unacceptable.

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because last year, when 6 was going to the gas station, 7 approached him and said "gimme all your money or else I'll shoot you". 6 was so scared he ran away crying. About a few days later 6 spots 7 again and this time he was with 9. He said "yo 6! If you don't give me your money, im gonna do this to you!" and then 7 started biting and chewing 9 as if he was some kind of cannibal. 6 ran away and called the police. He told him that 7 ate 9.

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My girlfriend gave me her first ever blowjob last night. I came in her mouth and she washed it down with a can of Carling. Obviously she had to get that horrible taste out of her mouth, so she gave me another blowjob.

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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