What do you call a fish without an eye? A fsh

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what can you say about a midget dressed as a clown? he had a terrible childhood.

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Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

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What do you call a fly without wings? A rather unfortunate physical disability

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Knock Knock -Who's there I eat mipe -I eat mipewho hahahah -Oh I'm gonna beat your ass

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Duncan Traywick is hilarious.

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hit the thumbs down button

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You know how geese fly in a V formation and sometimes one side is longer than the other. Do you know why that is? Because there are more geese on that side.

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Yo Momma is Like a Prostitute... ...I pay her for sexual intecourse

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What does a hooker eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Food.

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Why do black people sit so far back in their seats? Because they're used to sitting in the back of the bus

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So this Horse walked into a bar... Just kidding, it was Sarah Jessica Parker.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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What would you get when you cross a bear and a shark? a highly improbable situation because sharks and bears live completely different environments.

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What happens when you shoot a priest in the heart? He dies.

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Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

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What killed the cat? Feline Leukemia

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You wanna see something really scary?

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DERP

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Me: did u here the one about the girl got hit by a car? Man: no what happened? Me: She is in the hosspital with slight fractures and a broken wrist, but she will live

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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You know what they say about big feet... Wow, those are some big feet.

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Your mom is so fat that when she steps on the scale, it displays a very large number.

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What's worse then burning in hell for eternity? Well, a lot considering hell is a made-up place.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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