why didnt Tim Tebow go to church? He had practice half an hour before the service was scheduled to start, and to do both was impossible and missing practice would have resulted in disciplinary action from both his coaches and his teammates.

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A man walks into a bar The bar now has a hole in it.

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Why was the man late for work? Because he slept in.

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why does the world spin? Chuck Norris says so

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A man walks into a bar, gets caught in a knife fight, and dies horribly. The funeral was closed casket.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because skeletons are no longer sentient beings and cannot move.

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He was dead.

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A man walks into a boar. The tusked beast accepts his apology.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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A black man and a white man and a chinese man are sitting together: Cultural Diversity.

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what did i do after u pinched me? i killed everyone

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What did the Macedonian guy say to the Croatian guy? Both of our countries are from the former Yugoslavia.

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How do you make a chicken laugh. By showing it how to cross the road

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An English Grammar Expert writes a very intelligent essay.

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Aww Eliza, thanks for being around in spirit, dont leave yet, I am kinda having breathing problems, and Alice says my something levels are dropping because I need solid food, please dont leave, I cant tell time even with a watch, but would you mind waiting a bit? Ill eat fast, somehow.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my name is cartman, kyle you're a jew

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ... it wanted to cross the road.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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