Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was black

thumb_up thumb_down +24

a dragon walks into a bar. the bartender says "stop it". the dragon eats the bartender.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A 16 year old girl went into a bar. The police realized she did not have an ID, and arrested her.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Did you hear about the blond that jumped off a bridge? She died.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A woman who owns a parrot leaves her home, forgetting that a plumber is scheduled to come fix her sink. A few minutes after she leaves, the plumber arrives and knocks on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waits for a minute and, seeing that nobody has come to the door, knocks again. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, a little more loudly, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink!" The plumber waits for a minute and bangs hard on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screams, "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIINK!!!" Just then, the plumber clutches his chest and falls dead to the ground. When the woman returns home, she sees the dead man in front of her door. She opens her door to go to her phone and asks the parrot, "who is it?" The parrot replies, "WHO IS IT?"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is white on the top and black on the bottom? Society

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Who moved faster? The snail or the blind man? The blind man until he ran into the road and got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

have safe sex

thumb_up thumb_down +2

One time, I ate 3 chipotle burritos....after a tennis match

thumb_up thumb_down -10

When I was little I used to love to dig up worms. Out of my ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

im not food

thumb_up thumb_down -14

kid: can i go to the bathroom? teacher: you have to say the alphabet first. kid: ugh. fine. a.b.c.d.e.f.g.h.i.j.k.l.m.n.o.q.r.s.t.u.v.w.x.y.z teacher: what happened to the p? the kid bows his head in shame sits back down as the entire class laughs at him.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the dinosaur say to the human? For one, dinosaur's don't talk. And two, humans were not roaming the Earth during this time.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the lion get lost? because the jungle is massive.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red Violets are blue My body is ready I want you

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you have gay sex? I don't know ask Jordan Braun

thumb_up thumb_down +48

a black man, a Jew, a Chinese man and a polar bear walk into a bar, the bar tender says sorry no animals allowed in the bar, so the polar bear left and the other three ordered some drinks and had a nice time

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza is a tasteful meal and a Jew is a person of Israeli decent.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How did the Mexican cross the border without getting caught? He didn't; he was executed immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what do you call a tall skiny kid with a very big ego autistic.........colby schluter.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man." The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you punish Helen Keller? Sit her in the corner and deprive her of things she likes to do.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

please ignore the bottom two 'jokes' as they were written by josh carey and ryan danielz

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops