What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

(Played Basketball for 15 years) I TOLD YOU I'D QUIT WHEN LeBron Gets A RING

A man walks into a bar. Except it was a metal bar, like a pole. So he got hurt.

What kind of parrot can't mimic human voices? One that's just had it's vocal chords illegally harvested and sold on the black market

A mushroom walked into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom said, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender said, "Exactly. It's a health hazard. I already have two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

How many Nazis does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Their domestic handiness was not impeded by their warped sense of entitlement and racial superiority.

what did the shark do when he died.....

what would be the most epic fight ever chuck norris vs superman vs all legendary pokemon vs a giant who would win it me (im superman)

What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

Why did the little girl fall of the swing? Because she had no arms.

a horse is running across a cliff at 54 miles per hour, against the wind. he has been running for three hours. he needs to run for 347 more kilometers before he is tired. the wind is blowing at a speed of 10 miles per hour... he wonders if he will make it when suddenly he falls off the cliff. why did he fall of the cliff? it was a retarded horse.

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

A small mexican boy saves up enough money to buy his very own skateboard. His mother is dead.

-Why didn't a girl cry after she fell down with her bike? -Because a handlebar pinned her lung.

what is a mix of a bull dog and a shih tzu. a bread of dog that has a shaggy face and long hair

14

._____________________. Whale!

I LIKE TURLES.

A dyslexic athiest..."'There is no Dog!"

A Mexican, a Jew and an African walk into a bar. Now, it seem it was the Jew's turn to pay for drinks. So, all three ordered drinks, and the Jew paid for them.

Why did the boy run down the road? Because he was being chased by a tsunami

Whats worse than finding a black man in your bed? After you sleep with him, he tells you he has AIDS.

When life hands you lemons...you should probably get yourself checked out because life is an abstract idea...

What did the racist wife give to her black husband on their anniversary? Golf clubs because he liked to golf.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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