What sucks more than being married? Being shot in both kneecaps

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The word "Walter" is never funny.

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How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

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You can lead a horse to water, and you can pick your friends, but you can't sneeze with your eyes open.

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An elephant walks into a bar. Except not really, it couldn't fit through the door.

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What do owls and cars have in common? Nothing.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They procede to bake at 325 degrees for thirty minutes.

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A fish walks into a bar Fish dont walk

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What's funnier than a dead baby? An episode of 'Friends'.

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What is the difference between a seal and an armadillo? They are both aquatic animals, except for the armadillo.

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I have alzheimers and one day me and my nephew were............................

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Those last 4 were by: Walter

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hello

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What is an old ginger lady's favorite type of bread? Whole wheat.

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You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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why wasnt nathan invited the party? nathan's been dead for 5 years

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what did the dog say when he walked in to a bar? Bark

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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What's white and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A refrigerator.

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Why did the boy die? He had cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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