What is worse than getting hit by a bus? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red violets are blue What the heck do flowers Have to do with You?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A tiger walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender gets him a drink because he would rather not get vigorously consumed by a mighty beast.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

THER ONCE WAS A jueny WITH A TEN FOOT WENNY AND HE WENT TO SHOW IT TO THE LADY NEXT DOOR SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A SNKE SO SHE HIT IT WITH A RAKE AND NOW ITS ONLY FIVE FOOT FOUR!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding 2 worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Margret eat the banana? She was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you do when you find a black man rolling around on the ground? Stop laughing and reload.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why can't Dave drive? Because Dave is an orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: What did Hitler say to the Rabbi? A: I don't like you.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red Violets are blue God makes things beautiful... What happened to you

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Alzheimer's ... Roses are Red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's (continues)

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q. why did the boy who just had his first kiss feel no emotion? A. He got hit a Croquet mallet and died

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you break your fan in the summer You dont its hot and you need it

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the boy running There was a giraffe chasing him

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is white but you can't see it? A bottle of milk around the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a black Decepticon? Niggatron. What Pokemon is black? Niggachu. What lives in the sewers, eats pizza and is black? Teenage Mutant Nigga Turtles. What is Disney's most racist children's book? Winnie the Pooh and Nigger Too.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is funny to watch but stinks of shit. Jews oh and SBB they both stink and are funny to watch.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call someone who's sad? A depressed person

thumb_up thumb_down -13

PUDDING

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A baby gets hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

you: guess what somebody: what? you: you have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops