What has red dots and is yellow all over A poisonous frog

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the best thing about shrimp? It never goes bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Question: What did one lesbian say to the other lesbian at the grocery store? Answer: Will that be paper or plastic?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Okay lord and master, now get lost, I am trough with you, I have other things to get done, XD My nose is so itchy XD

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A: Knock Knock B: I'm sleeping!

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he was to busy watching porn. And then was hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red violets are blue your mother is pretty what happened to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how you throw 'em.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why is six afraid of seven? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

thumb_up thumb_down +5,713

I heard that the Boston marathon was a BLAST!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

In Soviet Russia, there was a movement to be renamed into the Russian Federation, which passed on December 25, 1991.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

HALF LIFE 4 COMING OUT SOON!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q:What's better than getting 500 million dollars A:Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +6

a horse walks into an abandoned lighthouse , the lighthouse keeper is angered by this and ushers the horse to leave but the horse gets startled and kicks the mans bookshelf over before galloping away

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did chuck Norris say to the docter Nothing he never has to go to a hospital

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why can't Anne Frank write a sequel? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the tree sad? Trees cannot think or move, and thus cannot feel emotions.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers but at least i do not have Alzheimers

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock. Please stop peddling your religion on my doorstep. .

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what did the man say when he walked into the bar? ouch!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops