Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they have an in depth understanding of astrophysics and interstellar travel.

Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

Why is my penis rainbow colored?

A knock knock B who's there A your newborn give me your money or I will hang all your kids

What's dirtier than an ice cream cone rolled in dirt? The dirt it was rolled in.

How Long is a Chinese man.

69

How did the man break his arm raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.

Why did the boy lick the window? He had Down's syndrome

Why did the man walk instead of taking the bus? Because he felt like getting a heathy workout.

Did you fall from heaven? Because I seem to notice fractures to your knee, spine and a possible permanent risk of poor posture.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

What did the little boy say when he was sick? Nothing. He stayed in bed and slept all day.

How do you stop a car from crashing into a wall? -You can't, you are welcome to try, but please don't.

Where did the kid go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

Roses are red Violets are blue, I am sorry... But you have terminal cancer and are probably going to die in about 3 months

Why is there no Asprin in the rainforest? Because it's financially viable to sell pharmesuticals in the vast, unpopulated rainforest.

What's sad about a dead person? He was my friend.

what did the first fire hi-grin say to the second fire hi-grin nothing they can talk it what just really awkward.

What do you call a gay man having sex with a woman? Sex.

Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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