What do you call a man named Cornelius? Well, he prefers to go by his middle name, Eric, because he was teased as a child for being named Cornelius.

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suck my balls mr.garison

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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what did the farmer do? plant

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did you hear the one about the gay child molester?

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What do you get when you jab a four year old with a pair of scissors? A warrant for your arrest.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

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Jim fell of his bike, wanna know how. Someone threw a car at him. Knock knock, who's there, not Jim

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Why did the fireman wear suspenders? To keep his pants up.

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Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

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Knock knock Who's there The police The police who? Ma'am your son is dead

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what did the bee do when bill tried to slap it it stung bill and died.

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Hey your name is really Tifa? Sorry, I hate scheming, but in this kind of situation I have to play things safe, I have a wife to take care off, I mean it, I really hate it. Anyway, I got your number, location everything, now if you did send people to harm or even worse kill me, you wont be doing that again, trust me, if I die of an assault, you die next, whoever you are.

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If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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What is black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

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Why did the girl commit suicide? She has been abused severely for seven years by her pet kangaroo.

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why was the Jewish child sad? He was recently abandoned by all his family.

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can't wait until the baby boomers die

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Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

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A very nervous looking black man walks into a bar full of white people, however, the white people are accepting of all races, so they invite him to sit next to them.

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What is chewy and tastes like gum? Chewing gum.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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