Fire is red Water is blue Earth is brown Air is transparent

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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What did the therapist say to the other therapist? Your skin looks dry, let me lend you some ointment.

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Who would win in a fight between a polar bear and a tiger? Considering that they live in different habitats, the chances are very unlikely that they would ever interact.

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Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

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What happened to the twins? 9/11

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you want to hear a joke? sure... too bad

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Kittens are orange, puppies are grey, and they both make good pets

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why is 6 afraid of 7? because 6 is a capitalist and 7 is a communist

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Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

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penis

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There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

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What do you call a brunette between two blonds? Probably their friend. How should I know?

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Why did the guy have one shoe? Because he took one shoe off at a time

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Wanna know how to confuse a black guy? Give him a fried chicken sandwich with mayo on it.

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So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

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What is Helen Keller's dogs name? She had fish.

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Why do they call it "Unsweetened Tea?" Did they put sugar in it and then take it back out again?

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How do you blindfold an Asian person? With a blindfold

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Roses are red, Violets are Violets. Screw this poem. Potato.

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What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut? A Heart Attack.

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How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

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If you peel my skin off, I won't cry, but you will. What am I? A human being with a high pain threshold.

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How do you make a Flamingo cry? Hit it with a sledgehammer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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