Q: what smells like cheese and tastes like cheese? A: cheese

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Who's the cutest girl in the world? Claire Seiter.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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Whats worse than finding a giant spider in your bedroom? Loosing it...

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing.

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What did I write on this website? This antijoke.

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GIRLS that think they can out-drink MEN.

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I asked her where you were.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm Helen Keller Everything's black

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

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How many Jews can you fit in an ashtray? None

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Roses are red Violets are red Daisies are red Tulips are red Magnolias are red Weeds are red Carnations are red Crap, my gardens on fire.

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Why did the man get frustrated searching through a box of forks? He was looking for a spoon.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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A blind man walks into a bar. The shopkeeper says, "the bar is nextdoor." The man walks out.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had alopecia.

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Why was it okay for the people in the hospital to laugh at the narcoleptic patient? It wasn't. The patients were treated because of moral obligations, but the doctors that laughed were either fired or warned, depending on if they had previous reports of exploitation of patients.

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Q.When is a dog, not a dog? A. never

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What Batman Said to Robin before getting into the car? I'll drive.

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What did the black man do in the Italian Pub? He gave a 20% tip and couldn't have been more courteous.

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How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

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What's blck and blue and doesn't like sex? The ten year old in my car.

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1 + 1 = 11 Just kidding, it's 2 you moron.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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