Knock knock! Who's there? Your mum. Oh hi mum, the doors unlocked

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Pfft. Stupid. Apples are for healthy people. Go for the ice cream. There's no worms in that.

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What did the boy say before he died? I'm dying.

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Yo mamma's handwriting is so bad that its barely legible to most people!

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Q: Why didn't Jane cross the road? A: Because Jane is a figment of my imagination and therefore has neither the physical capability to cross this so called "road" nor the initiatory motivation to do so...

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Why did Miss Parkinson get hit by a bus? Because it missed Justin Bieber by a few inches.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmer's daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soy-bean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture remover's van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam, caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs? A: Russell

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The stone said to tree I wanna be car the tree replied you cant be a car. Forever a stone

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Why did the small child cry? He was forced to dig his own grave at gunpoint.

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I find Holocaust jokes hilarious, Anne Frankly I know a few...

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- have you heard about the guy who got the left side off the body cut off? - no. - He died

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Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm. Wats worse then biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an eggplant and finding half a worm, as eggplants are usually more expensive so you will have wasted more money and would probably not be willing to eat the rest. And eggplants taste like shit.

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Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

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a black man is chasing a white man,, "sir you dropped your wallet'!!

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Why did Susie fall off a swing? She had an inner ear infection.

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How did the man drown the fish? He ate it.

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Yd the chicken cross the road? To SAVE THE WORLD

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the horse walks into the bar the bartender calls the pet control

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and in turn wasting money

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To see if it could.

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

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A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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