When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

A Pole walks into a bar and gets annexed by Germany.

Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

PENIS :)

Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

A man walks into a bar He orders a beer, drinks the beer, then leaves.

Why did a black man toss a bowl into the air? Because he just got it from the microwave and it was extremely hot.

people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping cart? One holds groceries. The other molests small children.

1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

why did the chicken cross the road? It was running from the black man

Why did the old man die? He was old.

Why did the man have sex with other men? Because he was homosexual.

How do you kill a blonde? lightsabre to the throat should do it

Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

What colour is a black man in a freezer black

Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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