I needed to write an article about heart disease so I did some research. I learned a lot.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? -A haircut

A pengiuin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Nothing. I killed them both with a fire axe and proceeded to kill all the patients in the hospital.

What's black and white and red all over? A blood-soaked zebra

What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

Why couldn't 7 multiply itself by 18? Because there were two people having sex in between them.

What is it called when a male and a male are together. A relationship

A man walks into a bar later at night & the bartender says how was your day the man replies "well I found out my mom is a raging crack addict, my grampa has alzheimer's & i have terminal cancer" how was yours the bartender says "I found out im Hitlers lost son".

Q.why was ireland takin over by the brits A.they wanted it

Why did the chicken cross the road? Apple

Your mom's so old she sometimes uses outdated racial slurs loudly in public. It can get pretty embarrassing.

god sent down his only son, " his only son." so in gods eyes we are a bunch of girls.

knock knock get lost!

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a Triceratops. What's worse than being raped by a Triceratops? Being gang raped by a herd of Triceratops.

A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

How do you know if someone is vegan? They'll tell you.

What do you call a lawyer who came from the ghetto? Someone who did quite well for themselves despite coming from a tough area.

theres a giant burning orb in the sky and it can burn your flesh, it can give you diseases, it can kill you, looking directly at it causes physical pain, and we all think this is okay. we like this orb. we like to go outside and lie around on our backs when this orb is in the sky. children draw cute pictures of this levitating death orb with a smiley face on it. what is wrong with us

I told my friend the best anti joke I've ever heard in my life the other day. He didn't laugh. He is autistic and doesn't understand humor.

What is white and shaped like a refrigerator? A refrigerator.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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