Why does Santa Clause say Ho Ho Ho? He has Tuberculosis.

Did you hear what happened when the President, the Pope and the Dalai Lama went golfing? Neither did I.

42

My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

Knock knock Who's there? Honey, just let me in. This bloody game can't go on for an hour. I'm cold out here.

Ah dead on it was all Taggart!!!

Whats worse than an offended chicken walking around with a squirrel stapled to its back? A crusty old man with hepatitis peeing on 10 babies.

What is red, and bucket shaped? A red bucket.

whats something naked and nailed to a cross? jesus, idiot.

I added ICE to WKD it was WICKED

On the next line im going to write a joke: George W. Bush

What happened to the little kid sitting next to a fat kid ? The little kid got DEVOURED

Why do you put babies in the blender feet first? To hear them scream.

What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing because polar bears lived in the northern hemisphere and penguins lived in the southern. But if one is smuggled from north to south or vice-versa. The polar would growl and consume the penguin.

Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

Baking a cake can be very hard and stressful, just like beating a slut with an axe.

Iggy Azalea

What is the difference between Steve Jobs and a PC? PC's are not dead.

what does an Ethiopian man say to greet a Chinese man well, first they must locate a translator fluent in both said languages, but they would most likely say hello

On a scale of Voldemort to Nigel Thornberry, how large is your nose?

A duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said the the man running the stand hey ba ba ba got any grapes? the man said no but i got some shut the F*CK up!

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

Why is the black guy unable to support his family? He's 3 years old.

why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist -lschles

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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