If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Flowers are colors Love me

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats worse than finding half of a worm in your apple? Noticing the apple is oversized and finding half of a dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q - Want to hear a joke? A - Me Too.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Do you know why I am excited? I don't know I'm asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is the difference between a white gut and a black guy? The level of melanin in their skin.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

if you read this you are gay

thumb_up thumb_down -179

A pilot walks into a bar just before his last flight of the day. "Give me a stiff one to get through this last flight, I've had a long day," the pilot tells the bartender. The bartender promptly refuses the pilot service and kicks him out of the bar, since operating an aircraft under the influences of alcohol would at least constitute gross negligence and at worst, murder.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Sloths

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was clumsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Todd have intimacy problems? He was molested as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why do Jews fast for Yom Kippur? It's part of their tradition.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Man walks into a hotel on Friday, Stays for three days and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? A. His horses name was Friday

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do the NRA and PETA have in common? Both are prominent interest groups from whom political candidates try to obtain votes.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red Violets are blue Your dog pooped on my lawn Now my violets are even more blue

thumb_up thumb_down +17

chuck norris and superman had a bet. Chuck norris immediatley won because superman is a fictional character played by an actor. Chuck norris then decided to have a bet with the actor that played superman and lost

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Your mother is so fat that I would call her quite fat indeed.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Just got back from the corner store. Bought 3 corners.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops