How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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Why do men not get cullulite? Because it's ugly.

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What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

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Three men walk into a bar. Something happens not at relating to them.

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What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

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whats orange, green and has a treadmill attached to it? a cantaloupe, i lied about the treadmill.

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Enough Red to share, RAWR! With me only though! But hey, do me a favor wear your glasses not your contact lenses. "That anime" do you watch anime? Or hentai or whatever?

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How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead live in the same neighborhood. They are Desperate Housewives

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What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag? One carries groceries and the other molests children

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Why does Santa Claus not have children? Because he only comes once a year.

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How do you make a mime talk? There are many ways. I prefer a baseball bat with a nail through it.

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Knock knock? Who's There? I AMMM!!! (thumb this down please xD)

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The WNBA

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

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Why did blink-182 get a record deal? Because they play quality punk rock.

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What do you call a skeleton in a closet? The hide-and-seek champion.

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Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

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Why couldn't the blonde bride make it to her own wedding? She had another unplanned circumstance occur and the wedding was postponed until next week.

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A white man, a black man, and a woman are drinking in the local pub. The black man and the woman are hanged. Medieval European pubs did not permit either.

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Roses are ??red Vilotes are ????blue I am single and now so are u???? no go move on I don't need u I have some weed and I'm willing to kill u

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar, which happens to be holding a support group for dyslexic people tonight. The name of the bar and all patrons are palindromes to avoid confusion.

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What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, you tell me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops