Roses are blue, Violets are green, I am color blind, You have cancer.

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What's the difference between a duck? Both legs are of equal length, especially the right.

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Three mexicans walk into a bathroom they all had to go pee.

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Ask me if I'm a human! - Are you a human? No. The correct term would be a human being.

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A boy orders a sandwich at a restaurant. He then questions the cashier about it. Boy: Excuse me, Why is my sandwich so bad? Cashier: Sorry, none of our women cooks were in today.

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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Q. How can you tell if your arm is broken? A. Break it.

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Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

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A blind guy sees a nuclear bomb.... he dies.

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

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how many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? usually one but depending on the severity of the patients' case the lightbulb will be changed by a person who is willing to offer their assistance as to prevent any form of accident taking place.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I workout, Don't mess with me.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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Sex education in Texas,

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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What did Osama bin Laden say to Jesus? Nothing. He's in hell.

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An Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a pub where they are presented with a situation, the Englishman and Scotsman react appropriately but the Irishman does something foolish.

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Why can't the black person drown? He is very well trained at swimming.

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What does a sailboad and a walrus have in common? Nothing.

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A cowboy rides into town and stays the weekend but then leaves on Wednesday, how is this possible? He was alive for the weekend and died on Sunday, his body left on Wednesday. Now get a job and be happy with your life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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