Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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um...... What's worse than 15 babies stapled to trees? sixteen babies staples to trees PS: I will stop posting if 3 people don't like this by tommarow.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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No soup for you!

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.

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What's black and white and read all over? A lot of things.

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Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, what do think I am? An umbrella? Why would you even think FOR A MOMENT that it's OK to just ASK me random stuff? Do you have ANY IDEA who I am?! I'm your worst nightmare, and if you ever ask me ANYTHING without permission again, or so help me I will drown the nearest pet goldfish. P.S. His cat died.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

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i killed my family

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how many cucumbers dos it take to change a light bulb? none. cucumbers cant change light bulbs. dumbass.

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How many elephants can you fit in a car? depends how big the car is!

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? If they didn't, their turnout gear would not effectively protect them from flames.

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What's 4+7 47

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When crossing the river, why the old lady die? She was hit by a falling brick that fell from an airplane.

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God saw himself. Finally, proof.

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your mammas so fat tha-- my mother is dead. oh... sorry.

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Santa and a smart blonde jump of a cliff. Who gets to the ground first? Neither, they don't exist.

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What do you call a fish with no fins? Dead.

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Why was the drunk man arrested? he beat his wife and was sentenced too 3 months in federal prison

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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your mamas so fat all she gets for christmas and her birthday is girdles!

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What is the difference between a blond and a red-head? They have different hair colors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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