My name is Jacob Mckeand and my penis is as long as Mr. Macs hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what tall and looks like a jew?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

how do you fit 20 babies into a bucket? you put them into a blender. how do you get them out? chips.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many aborigines does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They have no idea what electricity is.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What is it called when a whole bunch of black people run down a hill? A race.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

So I'm balls deep in this 9 year old...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was he arrested? He broke the law.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the mom say to her clinically depressed son? You're dad died

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a pig with no arms? A pig, pigs don't have arms

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A black guy and a Puerto Rican are in a car. Who's driving? Most likely one of the two, because if they were not that would be illegal.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the man commit suicide? Because on top of his depression, his wife had been cheating on him and his kids all died in a horrible hand-gliding mishap.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the black man buy at the fruit shop? Some bananas.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A blonde, brunette and a redhead are taken captive by a native tribe. They didn't survive the encounter.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Truth is Jordan Abu aita has a hairy @ss

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do you get if you put in a pan- a raw chicken, a lemon, assorted vegetables, onions, maybe some soy sauce, and a little olive oil then place this pan into an oven for around two hours, allowing the chicken to moisten. then serve with the assorted vegetable .supper.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man is walking with a boy through a swamp. The boy says to the man, "I'm scared." The man says, "You think you're scared, I have to walk out of here alone."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Okay, an ambulance is arriving for me (cops called it whatever I am fine) If you are still reading this then get the fuck out before I fire you no more messages.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between a black minister and a white priest? Nothing. We're all equal in the eyes of God.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops