A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

What do you call a zebra with no stripes? A zebra with no stripes

no one walks in to a bar bar tender: shit!

A man walks into the doctor's office and says, "Doc, every time I drink coffee, my eye hurts". The Doctor then tells him, "You have an infection called conjunctivitis, also known as pinkeye"

A jew walks into an Oven....

you will now laugh.

Why didn't Jimmy ever get his butt of the couch? His butt was nailed to it and he was also dead. Why didn't his parents save him? they died before he did.

What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

What's round and red? A round and red solid.

Knock knock. Who's there? I'm insecure about my body.

Jewish People

Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Simple poke her face.

Curiosity killed the cat! No, the tire of a vehicle did.

Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Your doorbell is broken.

-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

How are this and that alike? They aren't.

Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

How does an elephant climb a cliff who cares

My son won the lottery. I shot him so I could have the money.

whats do dinosaurs and people have in common? one of them is extinct.

Rim Ram Ree, Kick him in the knee, Rim Ram Rass, Kick him in the other knee

-how many potatoes are in a sack -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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