Q: How do you tell a Jewish person that you love them? A: You tell them "I love you".

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many jews can you fit in a car? It depends on how many seats there are, but some could double-buckle and stuff like that to fit more if necessary.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did James come back to drive the boat again this year? Because he likes driving boats and towing passengers

thumb_up thumb_down +20

When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

There was an Englishman a Welshman and a Scotsman, all of whom were nationals of the United Kingdom.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

if ruddel jumped on your back what do you do leave him on or pull him offf? shoot him.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the best thing to say to a deaf person? Nothing. They are hearing impaired and won't hear you.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What was the latino gardener doing? Working hard to keep his job in these tough economic times.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Q: Do you know what really makes me smile? A: Facial Muscles.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A child walk's into a bar. And gets sexually abused.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do potatoes wear to bed? Potatoes don't sleep and don't wear clothes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A brown park bench was bought. After multiple years the color had faded, and the bench was no longer the same shade of brown.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

roses is red violet is blue i will smack you

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a very challenging question.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why didn't the baby drive the car? Because its a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Q. I look in a mirror. What do I see? A.My reflection

thumb_up thumb_down

Yo momma so stupid, she failed the 2nd grade math

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What were Peter's emotions after he bought his $2 million house? A: None, in fact he has no home, family and anyone to help him. his leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man walks into a bar. [Insert punchline here.]

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A Muslim walks into a public library. 32 people killed in the explosion.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

roses are white, violets are black, You should probably consult with an eye doctor, for you probably have severe color blindness.

thumb_up thumb_down -204

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops