A: I've got a new knock knock jokes! Wanna hear it? B: Yeah. A: Oh you first. B: Knock knock! A: Who's there?

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

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Why was the woman out of the kitchen? She was at her mother's funeral.

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What's the difference between a jew and pizza? A Jew is human and pizza is food.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

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The holocaust

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Did you hear about the guy who got all of his left side cut off?! He died of blood loss and permanent damage to his vital organs.

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why was the guy stranded on an island? because his boat crashed.

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Why are Asians bad drivers? There Not. Have you ever seen Tokyo Drift?

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What is a turkey? The offspring of a turtle and a monkey.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colorblind

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It was a warm summer day when justin beiber got hit by the bus everyone was cheering

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the horse walks into the bar the bartender calls the pet control

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This guy gets on a plane and leaves he takes a bite of a green Apple and says to sower then he takes a bite out of a red Apple and says to sweet so he takes a bite of a gernade and says to crunchy so the plane lands and he walks past a little boy crying and says little boy why are you crying because a green Apple came down and hit my dog in the head so he's walking along and sees a nether boy crying and says little boy why are you crying cause a red Apple came down and hit me on the head so he's walking along abd sees a little girl laughing little girl he says why are you laughing cause I farted and the building be hind me bluw up lol ????

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Why can't so many guys get it up? Because erectile dysfunction affects 30 million men nationwide.

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I am white, you are black, we can be friends, racism was abolished.

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What's the difference between a tomato and a rhinoceros? Neither of them can ride a bicycle.

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Why was the jewish girl happy? Her pussy was wet!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Mark Mark who? Mark Jennings. Oh hey, Mark, come in.

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What's the difference between me and convicted pedophile? -The pedophile's been caught ;)

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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whats blue, saggy, moldy and smelly? Will Nealis' Vagina

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What is yellow and smells like a flower? A yellow flower :)

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What's an Animal? A natural periodic state of rest for the mind and body, in which the eyes usually close and consciousness is completely or partially lost, so that there is a decrease in bodily movement and responsiveness to external stimuli. During sleep the brain in humans and other mammals undergoes a characteristic cycle of brain-wave activity that includes intervals of dreaming. ... are you retarded? yes how did you know?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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