An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

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What did the goat say to the dolphin dogs don't lay eggs

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A black man walks into a bar. The man behind him ducks.

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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Billy was curious if gasoline burns, so he decided to...... .... O crap I'm late for Billy's funeral.

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Today I decided to burn alot of calories. So I found a fat kid and lit him on fire.

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

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Q - What do you call a hamburger without pickles? A - You call it a hamburger just without the pickles.

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Whats worse than finding 2 worms in your apple? 2 Holocausts.

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Yo mama is so stupid, she believes in god. God isn't real.

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Why couldn't the ten-year-old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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Homo say what?

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty one year olds? There's twenty of them.

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what's the funniest anti joke? not this one

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Is the capitol of Michigan pronounced DEE-troit or de-TROIT? It's pronounced Lansing.

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Jesus: I will return. Hitler: Well I am back... Nazi as in Nazireth Bush: As I said I was elected by Gawd. Me: What? What about me? Seriously why did I put myself here? Id have three bullets with them in a room, and id still shoot you six times.

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Why did the man get thrown out of the cinema? The man began to masturbate. He was also blind.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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What do you call something that has two legs, arms and is bloody all over? My ex's new boyfriend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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