Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a fetish for sniffing your shoes.

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A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation.

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What is the difference between peanut butter andd jam! Jam is made from crushed fruit and gelatine while peanut butter is made from finely ground peanuts and is often sweetened with sugar.

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What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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How do you stop a puppy from barking in the front yard? Put him in the backyard.

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whats worse than forgetting to buy cinnamon toast crunch at the grocery store? Getting beat to death with a gallon of rotten milk...

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A white person went to see Think like a Lady by Steve Harvey.

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What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and only one eye? Dave.

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A white guy, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a hispanic guy are standing before a cliff. They proceeded to take lovely pictures.

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what did the little boy get from santa claus on christmas? nothing santa isnt real

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42

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What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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banana

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar…. He was shot

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When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

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Cold camel scrotum.

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What is better than tissues? Correct!

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melons are berries, tomatoes are fruit, being a smart-ass isn't that good.

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what do you call a cat with no tail? smithers.

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Knock knock. who's there? Strawberry! Strawberry who? Pickle!

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Adele walks into the stables

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What did the ginger say to the blond? Hello, what is your name?

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Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land... it's called having a swimming pool

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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