What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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A man is talking with his friend when suddenly he picks up a banana. He starts talking with the banana, and after a while of conversing the man sadly puts down his banana and says to his friend, "I'm sorry but your son has just died in a horrible accident."

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What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

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Where is one place everyone eventually goes to rest? A cemetery.

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I may have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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How old are you? 7

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Why does the cool aid man make it look so easy to break through? -To Get to The Other Side!!!!!!

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock off a building

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Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

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I farted and it smells like rotten ham with melted cottage cheese now dislike this please.

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What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

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Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

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How many jews can you fit into a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and a thousand in the ash tray.

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Why was the girl on the ground? She jumped off a bridge.

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A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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[Set up] [No punch line]

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What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

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whats worse than school...wait a minute?

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How many stripes are there on a policeman's socks? None, policemen must wear regulation plain black socks.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are pink Daisys are white

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This ones for the dudes: Whats worse then having sex with a woman with no penis? Having se with a man

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there" "BOO" "BOO WHO" "No it's just BOO"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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