What's as bad as doing something you don't like? Doing another thing you don't like

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What's yellow and talks? A talking giraffe.

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There once was a squirrel. He lost his nuts.

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had brain cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? I cried when I cut up the onion.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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Q. What do cows and grass have in common? A. They both moo, except for grass ????????????

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

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Roses are red, violetsvare blue, I have aids, so do you

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12- 18 (depending on size) I know this because i use to work at a abortion clinic

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Sandusky went from Penn State, to the State Penn.

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why did the gay person cry? he was said that he couldn't marry his boyfriend.

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roses are red violets are blue i done you mom a favor by making you...banana and rice don't worry it'll taste just nice

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What's three times More dangerous than a war? Three wars

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? hit him in the head with an axe

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What's taters, precious? The potato is a starchy, tuberous crop from the perennial Solanum tuberosum of the Solanaceae family.

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Why was Little Billy sad? Because he got shot.

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what does a squid and a worm have in commen they both are animals

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a girl who was knocked off a swing by a fridge.

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What do caterpillars fear most? Death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops