2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Person 1: Did you hear the one about the guy who drank vinegar? Person 2: No Person 1: Oh

thumb_up thumb_down +267

(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock Who’s there? Tom Tom who? Tom Pearson? Oh Tom, I wasn’t expecting you til 3pm, please come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

a mother cow walks up to her three child cows. the first cow asks: "mom, why am i named rose?" the mother responds with: "because when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head." the second cow asks: "what about me, mom?" the mother says: "when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." the third cow says: "AAAAOOOOOOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAO!" the mother screams: "SHUT UP REFRIDGERATOR."

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's yellow and shark infested? Shark infested banana pudding.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Sally." "Go away, Sally. I told you I am not interested." Kevin slammed the door on his colleague, as Sally proceeded to find somebody else and move on with her life. Kevin later in life became a drug addict, and got thrown in jail. Sally got married and had four kids, and while she feels bad for Kevin, she is happy with her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a black guy who wins a race? A winner

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happened after the lawer jumped off the bridge? His family mourned his loss for years.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the doctor tell the boy with no arms or legs? I'm sorry, you have terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the dealer say to the addict? Sup.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

knock knock. no one's home..

thumb_up thumb_down +4

My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Yo mommas so fat that when she walked into the ocean all the whales were far away. However, if the whales did happen to be closer to your mom it would be highly improbable that they would sing.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the man go to the barber? To get a haircut

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Did you know that there is no A is "sodimizing"?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? (written in 1600 BCE - Westcar Papyrus) -You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish

thumb_up thumb_down +1

In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Does it not sound kinda fun to keep slapping someone that always turns the other cheek?

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops