Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, Knock. Who's there? ........Chicken...?

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What did Sally get on her 18th birthday? Herpes

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Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

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There was a Indain and cowboy hunting together. the Indian put his ear down to the gound and said "buffulo come". The cowboy said he didnt see anything when the Indian said, "its Sticky!!!

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.ellipsis { text-overflow: ellipsis; /* Required for text-overflow to do anything */ white-space: nowrap; overflow: hidden; }

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What happens when you throw a blue rock into red water? It gets wet...

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An man walks into a bar and then proceeds to purchase an alcoholic drink.

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Joesph Triphook.

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Why did paul macartny have plastic surgery? Because he wasn't happy with the looked

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How do you call blond girl with no arms and no legs ? A victim of a tragic car accident.

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what do you have to do to confuse a blond? Nothing

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmers daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soybean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture removers van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.

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Why was the 18 year old white male late for his college class. On his way to college he got in a car accident and killed 5 people and he walked away unharmed

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How do you get a black man down from a tree? If the man cannot climb down himself, perhaps call the fire department.

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Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and there wasn't a sufficient wheelchair ramp at his access.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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whats the difference between a brick wall and a jew? jews wear yamakas

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What's worse than 1,000 babies stapled to 1,000 trees? 1001 babies stapled to 1001 trees.

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Baman: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? Piderman: What? Baman: They're all gone!

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What is the difference between the number 20 and 21 1

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What does Rubens Barrichelo does with his F1 championship trophies? He never got one.

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So you there Red?

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What's rock hard and is sharp? A rock...and my penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops