A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

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Roses are red Here's something new Violets are violet NOT F**KING BLUE

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Yo sugars so salty when you put it on your french fries they taste like salty french fries

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Why did the boy drowned Bc he couldn't swim

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

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If the opposite of Pro is Con, whats the opposite of progress?

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A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know? I'm not a chicken :/

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so a dyslexic man sold his soul to Santa

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How do you get a Blonde to switch seats with you? Ask her politely.

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A Man: Why does it seem as though you always find what you need in the last place you look? Another Man: Probably because you don't continue to look.

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How do you make a baby be quiet when it is crying? slowly choke it to death

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gate open and chickens typically wonder with no obvious pattern to their movements.

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What do grass and cows have in common? They both say "moo" except for grass

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There are 10 fish, 5 of them drown, how many are left? 10, fish can't drown

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Shoot her in the head repeatedly

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i like candy and other things that are edible... please dont thumbs down just cuz this suxxx just put thumbs up and santa claus will haunt u :)

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is at a high risk for heart disease and diabetes!

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin get in the Batmobile.

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Schroedingers cat walked into a bar... and it didnt.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Peas are green Plums are purple Thieves are black

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How are a dead chicken and a woman alike? They both belong in the kitchen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops