What did the Rabbi get for Christmas? Nothing because as you know Rabbi's are members of the Jewish community and therefore don't celebrate Christmas.

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A Jew walks into Macy's

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she got shot in the heart with a bolt action sniper rifle and died.

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Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

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How do you make the general public confused? ...

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What's worst then a parking ticket? The plague

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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You know that you are going to fail horribly when... your purpose generally defeats the mission.

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Why does the black man take drugs. Because he is very sick.

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whats funnier than a dead musim? a guy who begs a girl to go out with him for 16 hours

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What did God say to the crying man? God doesn't exist.

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The government makes a good decision

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? names.

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What do you get if you cross a man and a horse? Severe internal bleeding.

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A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

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White men's rights

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What do you call a muslim behind the controls of an airliner? A pilot you rascist.

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whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

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i like my coffee like i like my women ... with big titis

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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What's black and white, and red all over? A police car. Well, maybe it's not red all over. Just that little light on top. Oh, and the tail lights.

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Games stop telling me to press any key to continue. That key doesn't exist.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name is Paco, And yours is too.

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why did the roof cave in? It was not structurally sound do to poor architecture

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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