A black person walks out of KFC

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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What did one pile of dirt say to the other pile of dirt?? You're dirty

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What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

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Your mom is so poor, she can't afford nice clothing.

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Two blondes are out for a walk when they come across some tracks, they realise they are train tracks and move out of the way to make sure they aren't hit by a train.

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What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

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Today I was reading anti jokes. At first I didn't get it, but then I figured it out and...ah crap, why am I writing this, it's just going to get thumbed down...

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Q: What do you do when you see a man with no arms and no legs walking down the street? A: You wonder how the hell he is walking

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What did the therapist say to the other therapist? We are both therapists

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If life gives you lemons, you can't really make anything because you lack the proper materials.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You steal his princess

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What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

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Chuck Norris Isn't That tuff if he was he would come to my house and slam my head in they keyboaredehfiu;qbg;qebnuighqije9qp8ubwrsijpa

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How do you kill a blonde? well there are several way's in which to kill another human being, infact, the point that she is blonde is rather irrelevant.

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A man walks into a bar, and has to go to the hospital because he broke his nose.

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What did the kid with all F's on his report card get? Beat by his parents

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What do you do when you eat a loaf of bread? You throw it up because your brother made it

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Q:Why did Hitler lose World War II? A:His "gas" bill.

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Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

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why was the blind man walking in circles? i dont know ask him yourself.

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What do you call a black person flying an airplane? The pilot.

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YOU AINT GOT NO PANCAKE MIX the preacher then bitchslaps the black man

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven stabbed his mother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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