What do you call 2 midgets and a pencil rolling down a hill? Satan

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Why didn't the [any object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. Why didn't the [other object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. [repeat ad infinitum]

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Where was little Sara when the bomb went off? Everywhere. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" Sara's hands

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've tested positive for herpes We probably shouldn't have intercourse

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What do you get if you cross a centipede with a millipede? I don't know but it sure has a lot of legs

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hi, im sober.

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Q: How many vaginas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Just one.

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why did the asian go to the bar?? i dont know you tell me.

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Were can you find a bag of meth?

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this is not a joke.

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I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

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Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

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How does one peel a potato? First I would suggest going to your local grocery store, and purchasing a vegetable peeler (although, in fact, the potato is not considered a vegetable). Once at home, I recommend disinfecting it of germs. Unless you already own a vegetable peeler, in which case I would simply peel the potato as every normal human would.

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WILSON!!!!!!!!!

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What do you get when you cross a gay eskimo and a black man? Nothing, as two male humans cannot reproduce.

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Roses are red, Grass is greener, When I think about you, I play with my weiner

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Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

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Homonyms should be band.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bench? A black guy is a living, breathing human being, and a bench is an inanimate object

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hat did the fridge say to the oven your hot baby \

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What is Oedipus' favorite tv show! How I Met Your Mother

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What liquid is white and sticky and annoying to get on your hand? Glue.

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What do a grape and an airplane have in common? They both have wings! except not the grape.

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The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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