Why did Miley Cyrus have to buy a new tour bus? The old one stopped twerking.

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A rabbi, a nun, a priest, a hooker, a stripper, 2 secret servicemen, a teacher, a midget, a ginger, a rodeo clown, a nascar driver, a homosexual native american, a heterosexual native american, 2 portuguese tuba players, an african american taxi driver, a blind man, his seeing eye dog, a bartender, 2 minor league baseball players, 3 lesbian mexican salsa dance instructors and a dwarf are all in a bar. They all had a good time and the teacher and one ol the portuguese tuba players ended up becoming facebook friends.

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HEy Hey Hey! Lakers are so going to bounce back!

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? One is a popular Italian food and the other is a human being.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I got this backwards Carpets are nice

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whats the stage after cancer? you die

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What's worse than shoveling dead babies??? Using a pitchfork...

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Q: What's the best way to satisfy your hunger A: Eat

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Eats shoots and leaves Pandas. If you can't figure this out then you're probably 12

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Finding an apple in your worm !!! ... Wait, what ?

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What comes after Friday? A ?.

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Women.

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People used to throw rocks at whores. Now they're throwing wood. *Hint. Hint.*

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I'm winning at Scrabble.

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what do you call a kid in a wheelchair? . handicapped.

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What did the pimp do to his bitch? He thanked her and rewarded her for her years of dedication and preserverance

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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What did Queen Victoria say when she saw a zombie? "Quick everybody, run, that is a zombie."

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Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet I wouldn't put U and I together. I'd put my dick in your mouth.

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

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What Batman said to Robin before they got in the car? -Get in the car Robin!

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Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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