Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

A black man walks into a bar. His parents were immigrants from South Africa.

Why did the boy have glass in his mouth? Because he was chewing on glass.

A man reaches to grab a womans chest and then realizing hes gay, backs off and everyone goes home happy

What's worse than dropping your icecream? Slavery

What just hit my face? The floor

Yes.

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What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

Man 1: What kinds of phones do snails use? Man 2:I don't know, I don't think they do. Snail: The snail said nothing, snails don't speak.

What would happen if you put avocando, pineapple, sardines, peanut butter, brussel sprouts and milk into a blender and drank it. most probabley salmonala poisoning because the sardines were off.

Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

A hat fell into the Indian Ocean. What happened to the hat? It got wet

How do you get a jew out of an empty pool? Give him a lader

If she's old enough to count, she's probably in second grade.

Why did the black man go to church? Because his father died.

And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, "The one whom I kiss is the one you seek. " To which they responded, "Gay. "

What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

One day little billy was wandering happily through the forest.He then trips and his legs disintegrate

Imagine a scenario Add a Rhubarb Crumble into your scenario Add your mother and father sitting together watching the news in your scenario. Your scenario should take place in an old people's home Add an Olympic athlete doing the splits into your scenario If there were any crane-flies in your scenario, be sure to subtract them at once. Divide your scenario by two. Your scenario should now be a mental image of flying horses and a hippopotamus eating a large salmon mousse. There will be a pig tied to a pair of sunglasses.

whats beter than a dead pile of babies? the alive one that has to eat its way out

whats 2+2 equal? 4

I have a joke. Okay, tell me. Just kidding

What did the ant say to the bush? Ernest Borgnine.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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