An old jewish man, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do silly people in a monastery say? stop munkying around.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I still remember the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. He said, "Hey. how far do you think I can kick this bucket."

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the child cry? It was beat up and thrown in a trashcan.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

"If life was fair, I would have a girlfriend" - William Deane

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I scream. You scream. We all scream.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a deer with one eye? Nothing. The deer was transported to a specialist animal hospital and now has two working eyes, eliminating the purpose of this joke. We apologise for wasting your time.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock! Who's there? Sheryl Sheryl who? No seriously, it's me, Sheryl.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

What's is the worst thing america has done? Jersey Shore, We mad those idiots rich.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

three jews walk into a bar. then a bear mauls them.

thumb_up thumb_down

Have u seen stevie wonders new house? No. Niether has he

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? To go fishing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Doctor: I'm gunna try to fit your illness into an everyday, normal conversation. Is that okay? Patient: okay. Doctor: how are you? Patient: fine... Doctor: that's weird.. Because you have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -22

''thanks for giving me back the money i lent you david''-said nobody

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the man kill the hamster? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do you call the one eyed man in the land of the blind? You call him an outcast

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do you do after throwing a water bottle in the trash? Hug a tree

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops