A dog walks into the local newspaper to place an ad. The dog writes; "woof woof, woof woof woof." Receptionist: You know you can ad another two woofs for the same price? Dog: Well that wouldn't make any sense at all?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he saw a piece of food that looked yummy, and he wanted to eat it. Unfortunately, the chicken was run over by a car and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I'm on a see food diet- it consists of fish and molluscs. sea*

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why do black people play basketball? Because they can join their friends in playing an extremely fun and calorie-burning sport.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's worse than a bruise in your knee? A bruise in your other knee. And what is worse than that? The Holocaust. And what is worse than that? A second Holocaust, much bigger, with much more casualties.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Man 1: Nock-nock Man 2: Please leave my place of residence

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your Bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what its name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a black man with a club? Tiger woods.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red Oh my gosh, my yard is on fire!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the guy with six fingers called John? His name was John.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happened when the black man and the white woman mated? Nothing. The man was infertile.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

roses are red violets are black,why is your chest as flat as your back :O

thumb_up thumb_down +3

dfghfgdfhfdhfgdfghdfh

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was the clown in red shoes wearing skis? Because he likes to ski in red shoes, and he's a clown

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a bar. Because he's had a rough day, he asks the barender for a drink. Then another... Then another... (continued) The man walks out of the bar and goes to his car. He starts to drive back to his house. He wobbly makes turns and closes his eyes every 5 seconds or so. He also talks to his boss on his phone for the majority of the ride. Surprisingly enough, he makes it home safely and doesn't harm anyone else despite the large amount he had to drink. He stumbles into his apartment and goes up to his room. He slumps down onto his bed on his back very heavily, causing the room to shake a bit. He opens his eyes, only to find his glass shandelier falling from directly above his face. His body was found by his girlfriend the next morning. I guess there's no real moral to the story then... Maybe it's: You can drink and drive, but don't put a shandelier directly above your bed... I guess? Wow. What are the odds?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Womens Sports

thumb_up thumb_down -6

knock knock ? Who's there ? idunnop idunnop who ? Eww you've done a what?!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A black man named Lawrence was driving a car that wasn't his at 3 a.m. The car belonged to a drunk friend who asked Lawrence to be the designated driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two men walk into a bar and begin ordering drinks. Both men engage in polite conversation with each other. At the end of the night they each take taxi's home because they realize the potential risk they pose to others if they drive intoxicated.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops