What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

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jacob mckeand broke his arm and now he cant wank :(:(:(

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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Whats worse than death? Getting expelled from Hogwarts

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

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What's worse than an asian driver? A blindfolded asian driver.

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The umpire asked the baseball coach "Who is that on 1st base?" The baseball coach said "Who." The umpire said "Yes, that's what I'm asking." The baseball coach handed the umpire a list of his players to avoid any further confusion.

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Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

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A German and an American walk into a bar. George W. Bush got hurt, but Albert Einstein didn't.

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Why did bethany fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Bethany

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What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

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Actually, Ylvis had a dog named Say. When he peed in the studio one evening, Ylvis said, "What the fuck, Say?"

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

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Person 1 - Did you know there is only evidents of killer whales killing in captivity Person 2 - tell that to my uncle Pete... He's deaf

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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How did the car get a dent? Terrorists bombed the house next to it

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops