What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

whats the difference between 69 and 6.9 theres a period in the middle

When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

You know what topping goes bad with ice cream? Chloroform

What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 cantaloupe.

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

Mike lost his arms in a car accident. Knock knock Who's there? Not Mike.

Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

Why was the black man drowning? His boat sank.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a mountainous mound of slain human offspring? There is none, the second is conferred to the subject of a conversation using a highly advanced vernacular.

What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

why did Susie fall of the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who`s there? not Susie

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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