John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhymming you have nice boobs

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

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Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

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Q: Whats about two feet in width and length with purple veins throbbing at the sides? A: A midget slowly dying of frostbite

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

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What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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Your mama's so hairy, she has to shave occasionally.

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What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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