Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

Roses are red Violets are blue I look down My pants are brown.

Why didn't the pregnant, pro-choice woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

a boy walks into a hospital ward, and procedes to break down into tears because his family died

Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

What is the difference between a blond and a mummy? A blond has a brain.

Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

salad days!

Whats worse than 20 dead babies in a garbage can? A: The smell

OMG my mom just let me go to a concert in feb 31,2012 wohoo! LOL

So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

So three black men walk into a bank, one of them uses the ATM, they all proceed to the exit after he is done.

Want to hear a popular joke? Women's Rights

What's black on top and white on the bottom? Half an oreo

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

an man of hispanic descent ran into a pole his white friends proceeded to laugh at him not because he was in pain, but because he was different

How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

Quarters look shiny, Brass beats Copper, Dish is better, So enjoy the hopper. DIrect TV, is forever alone. Kinda like you, when your on your phone!

Why did the kid want to do his science test? He didnt, who would want to do a science test...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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