Hey did you see Helen Keller's dress? No, she's dead.

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why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

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To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

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Why did Suzie fall out of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why did the police officer shoot the man in the wheelchair? Says the police: "He was running"

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If I am from Texas, where are you from? You know the answer? HOLY SH*T! YOU ARE A GENIUS!

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my boloney has a first name its OSCAR, my boloney has a last name its MEYER.. now bend over son while i shove my boloney in ur butt!

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Tulips are brown, I need to stop working on my flower garden after fisting a cows butthole.

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Whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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If your Jewish, then don't go to Germany.

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What is six foot three, plays basketball, and is black? A black dog with basketball skills and takes steroids.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was drunk.

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There was a cat and a copy cat. the regular cat jumped off a cliff. How many cats are left? 2 Cats have 9 lives!!!

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Fed-Ex, here's your new brother.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? An alive one at the bottom eating its way up.

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Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

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He was as tall as a 6 foot 3 tree.

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Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? Yeah, he died.

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Iceland is actually green and Greenland is actually icy and Germany started the Holocaust.

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What's up with airplane food? Not sure, but last flight I was on they didn't serve any food. It could have been because it was too short of a flight or perhaps the recessed economy caused jetliners to cut costs. Either way, I didn't get a bag of peanuts.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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An overzealous adventurer takes a trip to the Congo in Central Africa. While exploring the dense jungles, he accidentally drinks water that is contaminated with a very rare virus. He lives through the pain of the virus for many years. About 10 years after his trip to Africa, researchers discover a cure for the adventurer's virus. He goes to the clinic to get his shot to kill the virus. Exhilarated, the now cured adventurer runs out of the clinic but fails to look both ways while crossing the street and gets hit by and ambulance and dies.

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What did the girl say in her French lesson? Miss, I don't get it, its in a different language.

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How do you kill a fat guy Keep giving him food he'll die eventually.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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