A man lying in bed at night rolls over and starts rubbing his wife's back. She says, "Not tonight, honey, I have a headache." Her husband respected her wishes and went to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

So a man is in a car smoking weed when he forgets to crack a window so he over doses and dies. The car crashes and he kills 3 other people.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Do you know what Stevie Wonder's house looks like? No. Well, neither does he.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's worse than finding an apple in your apple Finding a black guy in your school

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: How do you turn a purple panda into a red panda A: Feed it grey poop and because it tasted so bad it got so mad it turned red.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What is small, green, lives 10 meters under the ground and eat rocks? The little green rock eater!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Boy: Hey girl if I had hand-cuffs, I’d lock myself to you right now! Girl: I would find that extremely creepy.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

whats worst then dieng in a videogame

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Whats big and red and eats rocks? A big red rockeater.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU..

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Q:What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Q: What happens when eight men throw purple at a rain coat? A: Mud-flaps, because electricity can't power a vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

whats worst than a trashcan full of dead babies? A baby eating the dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

And so he penguin said, The is my most casual outfit!" HAAAW

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

how did a white girl have a black baby? she was raped at the age of thirteen.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I need a way to meet local babes and get ripped in 4 weeks. Shame there aren't any popularly advertised methods of doing that around here...

thumb_up thumb_down -35

what do you call a mexican being baptized? a mexican becoming christian.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops