Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Does it really matter?

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How many moose does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, it is biologically and theoretically impossible for a moose to climb a ladder and screw in a light bulb.

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How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

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your mama's so ugly, she suffers from chronic deppression.

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Q: what did the old man do to the little boy in his dark cellar while babysitting on a stormy night? A: told him to hold a flashlight because the power went out and he needed to find his electric generator.

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Yo mama so fat she runs the risk of stroke, heart disease, or diabetes

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Why are black people not allowed to play football? They are.

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an 80 yr old man apllies to walmart

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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A used condom filled with water and left on a radiator makes an ideal and inexpensive lava lamp.

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Whats black and white all over? Michael Jackson

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A Catholic, a Protestant, and a Jew are stranded in the middle of the ocean on a raft. They all die of dysentery.

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What is the best way to deal with a broken ankle? Ear Lobes.

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Why did the black man have drugs? He had a very serious medical condition that involved putting himself at a high risk at any time without proper medications, therefore he requires drugs to sustain him and hopefully prevent him from dying. To immediately believe that he was in possession of illegal drugs is a very racist assumption that is representative of one of the numerous racial problems that faces our society today.

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Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

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What did the group of black men do to the old white woman? Gave her back the purse she dropped.

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

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Why are stand up comedians called stand up comedians? Because they are standing up while telling jokes, dumby.

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Why are hurricanes named after women? I don't know I was asking you

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Hi there! As the Director of Anti-Joke, I would like to thank the users for their contributions so far. We are currently raising money in order to gradually end our dependence on advertisements for revenue. Your participation is so important to us, and in order to continue our service we request a minimum donation of $100 for continued use of the Anti-Joke website. Please submit your payment by the end of November 2012. All major credit cards are accepted, as is PayPal. Thank you again for your cooperation and understanding as we grow in our services.

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I've got 99 problems and they're all stressing me out and causing me to be very unhappy.

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When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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