I need a way to meet local babes and get ripped in 4 weeks. Shame there aren't any popularly advertised methods of doing that around here...

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how did a white girl have a black baby? she was raped at the age of thirteen.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q: What happens when eight men throw purple at a rain coat? A: Mud-flaps, because electricity can't power a vagina.

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What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

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There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

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And so he penguin said, The is my most casual outfit!" HAAAW

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whats worst than a trashcan full of dead babies? A baby eating the dead babies.

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My wife's star sign was Cancer and its quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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There is no I in team... But there is a u in suck. There is no I in team, but there is in awesome

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What's worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust.

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Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU..

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Q:What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

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So a clown walks up to you and asks, "What'll always STICK with you? The violent disposition of humanity."

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Q: Who was shot 50 years ago? A: Abraham Lincoln was shot 50 years ago! (=

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Q. What's big, green, has four legs, fuzzy, and if fell out of a tree would kill you? A. A pool table

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GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT i farted. : l

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How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

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The declaration of Independence was singed in? Pen.

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What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

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Don't worry about giving me your phone number, I'll just follow you home later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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