"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

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wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

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whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

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What do you call a white guy? A caucasion man.

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Knock knock! Who's there? F*ck. F*ck who? F*ck you.

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A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A very unfortunate blind fish.

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two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him to leave.

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Your momma is so black, that her melanin levels are relatively high.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a washing machine at him.

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What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

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why did the man beat his wife? why not?

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what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

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A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

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Ehh

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops