How do u save a black person from drowning? Take ur foot off the back of there head

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how do you get a nun pregnant? have unprotected SEX with her, resulting in expulsion from her convent

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can you touch your toes? no

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Cyrus: Can you dig it?! Phil: I can feel it calling in the air tonite……..oh lord

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Q: what did batman say to robin before they got into the car? A: get in the car (:

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a man walks into a bar he suffer's bad injuries by Mad

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Fat people

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What did the cancer patient say before they died? I am in so much pain. I love you all

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Q: What did Jenna Jameson say when she heard hard banging near the front door? A: Come inside

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How do you know when a Captcha defect causes you to post the same anti-joke three times? Canteloupe.

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Why was the boy sick? Because he accidently ate his own feces.

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Yo moma so fat, it ain't even funny. Seriously. She is suffering real diabetes! Do you know how that feels? I though so...

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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The adventures of HAROLD THE MONGOOSE: Harry dug a hole. He did not like that hole so he dug a new one. He liked that hole so he did not dig another one. Harry slept on a rock. He did not like that rock. So he smashed it with a ham. Harry found a new rock. He liked that rock so he didn't smash it with a ham. Harry ate a snake. He did not like that snake so he regurgitated it. Harry ate another snake. He liked that snake so he did not regurgitate it. Harry encountered a bush. He did not like that bush. Unfourtianately for Harry, that Bush became president.

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roses are gray, violets are gray, Im a dog

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Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

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What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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I don't usually drink beer, but when I do it usually doesn't take much for me to feel the effects of intoxication.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Why was Little Timmy crying ? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus. Knock-Knock! Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

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What's the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves.

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Why is the horny toad named that way? Because its a misnomer of the horned lizard.

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Dave:Hi Mark:Hi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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