What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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What happened to the woman who walked down a dark alley way? She found a lolly.

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What's straight and famous. Ryan Secrest I was just kidding about the stright

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how do you get a happy man to stop smiling? hit him in the face repeatedly untill he is dead.

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What has two legs and two arms? A Human

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer and the other is a watermelon.

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What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

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What does a tomato and a human have in common? They both spray red liquid when stabbed repeatedly

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Why didn't Hitler go to heaven? He killed millions of jews and was an atheist.

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knock knock who's there? Police oh shit

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What did the down syndrome girl get for christmas? Cancer.

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Error 37.

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Worth more points.

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What's worse than losing the remote? Dying of cancer.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away Because no dog likes being called "hurrrrdhjkdhjsaklhdkhjkddssaduyiwqkhdbewcjk"

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Hi. P.S: You have aids. P.P.S: Purple penis pumpernickel pie puppets.

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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Why was Johnny so mad at his father? Because his father had a constant drinking problem and was very abusive.

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A man walks into a bar, and he died.

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A: Knock, Knock B: Whos there? A: Noone, the door and the visitor are both existential figments of your imagination.

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A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

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why did spiderman fall off the roof ? cause it was wet

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what will you never loose if you play world of warcraft your verginity

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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