Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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The guy told a funny joke. Why wasn't the other guy laughing? Because he was having a heart attack

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why did joe drop his clock? billy ran into him, therfore making the clock wobble in his hand until it fell at 34 mph.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Two fish are in a tank. One is driving, the other is operating the gun. Two soldiers are in a tank. They both drown.

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In Soviet Russia, blonde is smart

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Roses are red violets are blue your mother is pretty what happened to you.

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What's red and a cow? Red cow

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What did one orphan say to the other? 'Robin get in the car!'

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what do u call a guy with 4 nipples? Hairy Styles

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What did the old man say? Im old

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Who. Who, Who? Shut up you damn owl, I'm trying to deliver a pizza.

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

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Two trains, on the same track, left different stations, and travelled in opposite directions. 74 people died.

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a black man is chasing a white man,, "sir you dropped your wallet'!!

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Why didnt the car turn on? Cause the keys werent in the ignition

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Your momma's so fat: She regrets not making the most of her youth whilst she was still attractive.

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A catholic priest and Jerry Sandusky walk out of an elementary school.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch"

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Knock Knock there's a doorbell

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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