A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says that there are no dogs allowed, but the man says that he is blind. So the man sits down with his dog and asks for a drink. The bartender decided to check to see if he was really blind, so he says, " Hey, do you know what time it is?" The blind man replies, "7 o'clock," The bartender says, "Ha! You said you were blind! Get out of..." but was interrupted by the man, who promptly said, "No, I'm deaf," and left.

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What is the difference between a goat? It can neither ride a bike.

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You were born.

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What do you get if you cross a human and a cow? Arrested.

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The Labour Party.

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What's the difference between an apple and a black person? Well theres a huge difference but they both taste good in peanutbutter

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What looks like a horse, but smells and has feathers? A dead horse with a pidgeon in its ass.

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What did the two Japanese men say to each other? I have no idea I don't speak Japanese

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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What did the flower say to it's friends? I want to kill a Christmas tree.

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Q: What's the difference between between basketballs and babies? A: I don't shoot basketballs.

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Knock Knock. Not home.

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old man: hi old woman: i have alshemiers old man: hi old woman: i have alshemiers

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Why could'nt the Jew drink milk? He was laptose intolerant.

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whats a joke

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Knock Knock Who's there? Tennis? Tennis who? Tennis Racket

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A black guy and a white guy are walking down the sidewalk. As it suddenly begins to rain, what does the white guy say to the black guy? Nothing. They did not know each other.

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Why was the woman out of the kitchen? She was at her mother's funeral.

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wanna know the biggest joke on antijoke.com? People's spelling.

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Why did Ian pass his CRB check? Because he committed his crimes on holiday

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Why did simran go over to maliyah and emma and andrea and alice and amanda and Every other fat ugly chicks house? Cause he cant fu*k anybody else!!!!!

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scientology.

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How many Hairdressers does it take to change a lightbulb. Usually one.

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How did the boy get a bruise? His mum threw a fridge at him! How did the boy get a big graise? He got mulched! Why did the boy get molested? Because he was naked in Mr. Molestogiacomo's house!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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