What's puby and dandruffy? Aodhan Hearty

What did the dying mother give her newborn child? AIDS

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on the training and hence productivity of the babies.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gays house! knock knock who's there? The chicken!

Ask me if I'm a tree..... "are you a tree?" No.

what did the teacher say to the students when she was talking about the solar system The sun is very hot. At the core it is 15 million degrees Celsius or 27 million degrees Farenheit. Using a magnifying glass, we can see the very hot heat and the light of the sun. Please do not do that because it can hurt your eyes. This makes the light very bright and the heat is so hot it could start a fire.

Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

Who paved the road? The fat guy with the steam roller

What happened when my familys break on the car didn't work? They rolled down a hill and fell off a cliff and died. I loved them.

why are anti jokes so funny? cuz u pobably just laughed at this one.

why does david stutter during meetings. because he smiles till his cheeks hurt

There's 3 guys, a fat guy, a skinny guy, and muscular guy. 7 days later, the fat guy receives an invitation to the zoo. It turns he got a new job and his friends was so proud.

What did one dog say to the other dog? Nobody knows as humans are unable to understand the way dogs communicate.

Why was the boy sad he ate a loaf of bread? Because ducks ate him alive after that.

What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

What's long, hard and full of semen? An erect penis prior to ejaculation.

Roses are black, Violets are black, Trees are black, WHO BURNT MY GARDEN?!

How do you kill a Jewish person? Like any other person, they are like any other person of any race and religion.

A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Neither does the chicken. (you're supposed to laugh...)

What has four wheels and flies? A flying car.

Liverpool City Football Club

Roses are red, Bacon is also red. Poems are hard, Bacon.

What's worse then the holocaust? Stepping on a lego.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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