What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: WHERE'S MY TRACTOR?!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Biggie Smalls eat so much dark chocolate? His doctor suggest that he eat foods high in fiber.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down +16

One below was by me: Walter H

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the boy find I'n his water? Ice

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A Jew, an atheist, and an Asian man walk into a bar. They all have a drink and then go home to their families

thumb_up thumb_down +16

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why is a man like a packet of cards? Both are organic.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

feminism

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Did I tell you about when I hit a cat with my car? No, what happened? I hit a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why does everyone treat Jesus as some sort of saint for making five thousand people bread, when Hitler made six million people toast?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a man with a gun in his mouth? Keith.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q. what is the difference between a black man and a park bench A. a parkbench can support a family A black man cannot

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a pole He breaks his nose And bleeds to death

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots? It depends on what his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why couldn't the man play frisbee? he was a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops