So there once was this wasp that lived in a jungle. This was not your ordinary wasp though-he was smart, philosophical even. One day he finally got fed up with his repetitive, insignificant life and decided that he would leave his hive, his family, his entire close-knit wasp community and he would go out into the world and make something of himself, just like the humans do. So the wasp enrolls in school, and passes with flying colors. Remember, this is a very smart wasp. He gets his high school diploma in a little under 3 years, with a 4.0 GPA and all that snazz. After high school, believe it or not, the wasp gets accepted to Harvard. Harvard! This too proves to be no challenge for our hero, as he graduates in just two years, again a 4.0, on the Dean's list, and all that snazz. Not to mention all the clubs and sports he was in-the newspaper, rowing, student government-and the fact that he was by far the most popular student on campus. Even his professors looked up to him. He goes on to get two PhDs, and when he finishes his education, the wasp faces a bit of a dilemma. How does he apply his knowledge now? Where does he go from here? He decides to try out politics. After all, he was popular throughout school, did well in Harvard government. So he runs for mayor, and wins in a landslide. He greatly reforms the city, fixing virtually all its major problems. He runs for governor and again wins in a landslide. Two years later, the presidential election was coming up, and the wasp decides he might as well go for it. Of course, he wins in the largest landslide in US presidential history. His presidency goes exceedingly well-he is loved by all parties, and has the highest approval ratings in history. He also finds the cures for cancer, AIDS, and broken hearts while in the White House. After 8 years (yes, of course he was reelected) the time has come for him to leave his office. Even his successor his saddened by the wasp’s departure, but they all know it’s what must be done. Back at his vacation home in California his first day after leaving office, the wasp looks back on his long and fruitful life. He realizes that he hasn't been back to his hive at all since that first day he left. He suddenly feels a twang of guilt as he realizes how much he misses his parents and his little brother. So he heads back to the hive, looking more worn out than he remembers. He goes inside and greets his family, who are overjoyed at the sight of him. He talks about how his life has gone as his family listens in wonderment. Eventually he decides he is thirsty, so he decides to visit the old watering hole he remembered. Once he gets there though, there’s an extremely long line. He decides it’s worth the wait, so gets in line. One hour. Two hours. This is the slowest moving line he’s ever seen! Eventually he calculates that it could be a few days before he gets to the front of the line, so decides it’s not worth it. He decides to go get some cider to drink instead, but waddya know, another huge line of people waiting for cider! He remembers one other drinking area that never had a long line-fruit punch! So he decides to go get punch. He arrives, and lo and behold, there's no punch line.

How many Obamas does it take to screw an economy? What do you think?

What did the little girl with no legs or arms get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock knock? Who's there? Not that little girl.

What do you call a black man eating a chair. I don't know and this is highly unlikely because chairs are inedible therefore this circumstance is impossible.

A man walked into a bar. He said "ow". Tragic.

Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

AARgh my name is AWsaing the nawant of the where of amzai Giant rabbit bunny

Rebecca Black

You know whats worse than an anti-joke? Practically Anything.

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. A: Tsunami victims.

a. johns friend said your a towel b. rick replied im obivously not a towel and walked away in discust at his friends stupidity.

what do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind

knock knock whos there? nobody

1st guy:i like anti jokes. 2nd guy:me too, they make me laugh.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Oh, And one of them has a penis.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes

Hey, have you heard the one about the elf and the watermelon? Neither have I.

What do you call a dead black man? A corpse.

HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGH

A blond and his wife were in the hospital expecting their first child together. The wife gives birth to twins and the husband turns to her and says, "I can't believe we had twins. I'm so happy!"

An alligator walks into a bar. The bar tender calls animal control and calmly escorts everyone out the back door.

Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

Who would be an amazing GOP VP? Chris Christie -Mitt Romney

What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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