Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? 10. 3 in back, 2 up front and the rest in the ash tray.

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Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

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Whats the difference between a bottle of coke and a black man stuck in a phone booth? one of them is comparing himself to a bottle of coke, the other is a bottle of pepsi

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was involved in a homicide at the Children's Hospital resulting in death row right away and was involved in the killing of 12 other numbers on last Tuesday.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was diagnosed with cancer and didn't want to live any more

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What's brown and sticky??? A brown stick

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LeBron James: Kobe, i got a ring will you stop making fun of me? Kobe Bryant: Yes Kobe and Michael Jordan: LeBron asked if he gets a ring if we'll stop making fun of him LeBron James: Hey Kobe why didn't you answer when i called? Kobe Bryant: Sorry, I only heard it ring once

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Whats small white and has a hole in it? A powdered Donut

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink without making any grammatical errors.

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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An artist walks into a bar and orders a rum and ckoe. The bartender reads the first sentence and realizes the artist is dyslexic and fixes him a rum and coke.

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why are black people so fast? because there black

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Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

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What is the difference between a painting and Jesus? It only takes one nail to put up a painting

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Where did the little boy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

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Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

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How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Wally.

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I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops