Hoverboards are still not available, and it's already October 21, 2015...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I would have buttered my bread, but the pool was cold.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Teacher: "Kenny, what is the biggest mammal on land?" Kenny: "A stranded whale."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats worse than watching your house burn to the ground? Sarah Palin becoming president

thumb_up thumb_down +6

My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, Violets are too. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing infliction.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

joe: guess what. Bob: what. Joe: nothing I just wanted to talk

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Nice belt.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Fat? Jesse Z

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats up and also down? your mum

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's Green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What would you call the baby of an elephant and a rhinoceros? Nothing. They are two entirely different species and therefore cannot breed.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what do you call a cat with no tail? smithers.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what did the astronaut say to the rocket scientist? hi

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the man commit suicide? Because all meaning in his life were gone.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How are a black man and a banana similar? They are both intelligent human beings, except for the banana.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walked into a house, He never came back out as he fell down the stairs and snapped his neck, His family mourn him everyday.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the cow say to the other cow? "Baaa", he had an identity crisis.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There were two friends, a girl and a boy. The girl had a ribbon tied to her neck, and every day the boy asked her why, yet she'd never tell him. They grew up together, and fell in love and still, she wouldn't tell him why she had the ribbon on her neck. They got married, and grew old, and still she wouldn't tell him. But one day, she said to him 'I'll show you why I keep this on my neck' and she took it off and her head fell off.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops