How do you keep an elephant from charging? Shoot it with a high powered gun right between the eyes.

What's Pink And Wet? A chewed up piece of Bubble gum.

What do you call a fake noodle An impasta

Roses are Red. Violets are blue. I took a shit on your wife's face last night.

Knock, Knock Whos There, Jews, Jes who, Whould you like some jews with that.

How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

steven hawking walks into a bar just kidding he has a horrable disiese preventing him from walking

A white kid, a black kid, and an Asian kid all try out for the basketball team. Which one makes the team? All of them, because they are all very good.

Where do drunk asians live? In their house or apartment with their families, who are concerned about his drinking.

Yo mama so fat! Really she should get on an exercise program and watch her diet, as she is at higher risk for diabetes and other health issues

What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

Knock Knock Who's there? There's a peephole on your door why don't you go ahead and look

why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

That's funnier than a zebra climbing the Eiffel tower with Bill Clinton on the 4th night of quanza

Knock knock Who's there? No one, you have no friends.

Q: What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A Good Start.

Q: What do you call a stop sign in the winter? A: A stop sign in the winter.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the head repeatedly

What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

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A: I slept in your mums bed last night. B: don't care dad

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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