How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

Okay lord and master, now get lost, I am trough with you, I have other things to get done, XD My nose is so itchy XD

What do you call a fat zombie? Dead

I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! What's good for the goose Is good for the gander I'm Donald Trump!

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

Why was bobby late for school? Because he drove off a bridge.

whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

Q. What do you get when you cross a man, a bear and a pig? A. ManBearPig

Roses are Blue, Europe is Yellow. I suck at poems, Refridgerator

Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

What did the black guy do with his gun? Shoot a deer

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

Two friends are sitting on a couch watching TV. One friend accidently turned on a pornography channel. The other friend felt awkward and went home.

What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

What is the best thing in the world? The opposite of the worst thing in the world.

Christianity.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Roses are blue, Violets are red, Pansies are green, I think I'm colorblind

There are fewer coppers on sundays. As well as criminality.

FIONN'S LIFE

What is red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

bryden is a faggot

What do you call a person with no legs and an eyepatch? Names.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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