How do you get a bird off the roof you throw an ax at it

What do family members and a loaf of bread have in common? If you smash them with a hammer they die.

What do you get when an elephant and a pig have baby? Nothing, mating between animals must take place between animals of the same species, thus making it impossible to cross these two animals

A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots, "Long day?", the bartender asks. "Yeah", the man replies, then he goes home and hangs himself

What is the difference between a fridge and a tree ? The fridge can't sing

Your mom is so fat, that your gonna get a brother soon.

You know what's addicting? Heroine.

What's is the worst thing america has done? Jersey Shore, We mad those idiots rich.

so a guy walks into a bar, he says nothing for he now has a concusion

A black guy wearing a mask runs into a store, points his gun at the cashier, steals some money and runs out. The police start an investigation the following morning

timmy has no arms knock knock whos there? NOT TIMMY!!!

A priest and a rabbi walk into a gay bar. They are closet homosexuals and are searching for partners to engage in consensual sexual intercourse with.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Columbine Massacre

Where is Sally hiding? She was kidnapped and has probably been murdered, I lied about her hiding.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

Whats funnier than a dead baby? a dead baby in a clown costume!!!

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

Your mom came to my house last night. We played chess.

That Rachael chick needs to get back in the kitchen

How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

Friends are like balloons.. If you stab them they die.

Why was the man so cold? He was in a fridge

What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

How do Mexicans like their eggs? It's a matter of personal opinion, of course.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...