What is worse than getting stung by a wasp? Getting raped by a sexually frustrated bear.

when life gives you lemons you make lemonade when life gives you a homisidle brige you clearly have done something to make life angery

Q: Why do geese fly in a V? A: It's more aerodynamic.

whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black guy on the road? there is skid marks leading up to the dog.

What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

I like my women like I like my pancakes: Flipped over, inanimate, motionless, and covered in my syrup.

Wanna hear a funny story? Sure. Ok,

Little Timmy walks up to the teacher during class and asks "Can i use the restroom?" The teacher says "I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy says "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

A man walks into a bar with a monkey..I forget the rest but your mother is a whore.

What's three times More dangerous than a war? Three wars

- Hi, my name is Sarah Lennon. - Wow! Are you related to Sarah Palin?!

What did the father tell his son who was caught stealing from the teacher? --The father didn't say anything because he walked out on his family when the children were born.

I love you, you love me. Barney is fat and not entertaining.

A wife asks her husband to treat her like she's special. So he tells her, "Gooooooooooo... Maaaaaaaaaaaaake... Meeeeeeee.... Aaaaaa.... Saaaaaaaandwitch

I violate everyone that do not thumb me green, and vi0late the children, the parents, and the person of those that thumb me red... Its not about the sex, its about the domination... You might even like it...Your kids? Not so much... Well sometimes... Green thumb me, and I will... Meh, then you are awesome... friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Subscribe below, address tracker activated... LETS GO!

Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

a man was hired for a job. he made a lot of money and was able to support his family.

What time is it? I just looked at my clock on the wall. It is 9:14 AM Eastern Standard Time.

what meows and is fuzzy and smells like manure? a cat being being killed with a chainsaw next to a cow

Smelly Indians.

Why was the mime crying? Her husband died.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a fetish for sniffing your shoes.

what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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