Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

Three muffins are walking next to each other in the dessert. The muffin on the right says "Hey now it's my turn to walk in the middle!"

Have you heard any anti-jokes? ... Are you Jewish by chance?

ADAM SAS IS A GREAT GUY!

I had 99 problems Solved them all

What is the difference between an apple and an apple? One has a brown spot.

What do you call a black man with no job? Unemployed

How did Bob survive the plane crash? He didn't

Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

You know what happens when you assume? You make a judgment based on incomplete information.

Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset? Neither did she.

A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

What's your star sign? Cancer. Oh you're gonna die. AWKWARD.

A horse walks into a bar. "Rough day?" says the bartender. UUUNNNHHHHH!

I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

What do family members and a loaf of bread have in common? If you smash them with a hammer they die.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

Whats the difference between a dog and a piranha? Their names.

What was so funny about my sister getting raped? Nothing, there's never anything funny about someone getting raped, especially when it is a close friend or family member

What is a light shade of beige? My bedroom wall.

what did the little girl with cancer get for christmas? cancer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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