what do u say when u meet somebody new hello

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What's worse than the Holocaust? A Holocaust survivor. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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It is better to have loved and lost, Than to have fallen, bleeding, into shark-infested waters.

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knock knock whos there? jew jew who ? jew son o a b**** ? (aimed at ight wing racist jews)

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My friends new nickname is hawk-eye! He is a jackass...

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A police officer asks a witness of a murder what he witnessed. The man replies "A murder"

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Both your parents are dead John.

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If you're jumping rope, and both the tires are flat, how much frosting would it take cover the staircase? Rocket!

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Whats the difference between a falcon and a deer? both live in water, except for the falcon... oh, and the deer.

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French man: Bonjour! English man: um, i am not french! french man: oh, My chat is on this beautiful country! Her name is Valentina! English man: What you poo in the open and name them?

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ccjcjcjcjcjcjjcjcjcjjcjcjcjcjcjcjccjcjcj why

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I used to know what alzheimers was

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what kind of person would you call dumb the ones who read anti jokes

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Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

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How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

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Some guy pretends to be Santa on the street. He touches a little girl and says "It's okay i'm Santa" So the pedophile Santa molestes the little girl. The little girl goes home and says that Santa touched her so the parents go looking for this guy. And then they find out he died of a heart attack.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A bug in your nut.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returned and said, "My friend does not have a pulse and he is not breathing, so I stand by my prior assumption."

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Why did the black man have sex with the white woman? Because they were married.

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How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

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Do gingers have souls ? No, Gingers are a myth made up in the 13th centuary to scare little kids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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