A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A deer. The fact that it has no eyes doesn't change the species.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Your definitely a virgin, too bad your mom isn't too.

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Roses aren't blue Violets aren't red She was my ex wife But now she's just dead.

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What do you call a clock that neither ticks nor tocks? A broken clock

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Someone chucked a fridge at her.

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Why did the Indian have a hard time getting a hotel room? He didn't. He owned the hotel.

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What did Wonder Woman say to Superman? I'm wonder woman.

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Whats the difference between chris and a party. the locations

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What's worse than shitting whilst fucking? Losing your eye! Kelvin Yang

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What brown and sticky? A sticky turd

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Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An investigator

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

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If pro is the oppisite of con what is the oppiste of progress Congress

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Why did the leaf fall of the tree? Because it was fall

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He has no legs.

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what is worse than losing your phone? having it destroyed because you were texting while driving causing an accident and you are not eligible for and upgrade for another two months.

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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If a man dies in China, Does anybody care?

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A Pilot.

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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What did the man with the gun say to the man without the gun? I have a gun

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How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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