Why did the little girl with no arms an legs cry? Because she fell off the swing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The chicken"

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What do you call a man named Cornelius? Well, he prefers to go by his middle name, Eric, because he was teased as a child for being named Cornelius.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are yellow Azeleas are pinkish purple

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Why was the guy tired? His titties were too big

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"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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So a blonde walks into a wall...

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Johnny had 100 chocolate bars. He ate 95 and gave 3 to his friend. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes

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Q:Do you know why Jesus would not be a good goalkeeper? A:Because he never played football

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Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

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What are blacks scared of? The kkk

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knock knock whos there guy with a gun guy with a gun who guy with a gun who just shot you dammit

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the woman have no boobs? Breast cancer

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What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

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Knock knock. Who's there? No one, because your house burned down.

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

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What is the difference between a brick and a ginger? The entirety of their chemical make up and physical appearance.

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a cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. the cat is then escorted out of the bar because a cat in a bar is unsanitary. and they do not serve milk.

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What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

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Q. Why are most jews unemployed? A. They all got fired.

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Why did the toddler fall over? He's an Iraqi child and has been shot in both legs, being readied for a public execution for fighting on the opposing side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops