what did the blond do when her house was on fire? she called the fire department, because that would be the correct thing to do in such a situation.

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Why did the white girl lose the race? The girl that she was beating was black and her boy shot her. Therefore the black girl won.

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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yo mammas so fat when she gets cut gravy pours out

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an irishman walks past a bar a.w. j.p.

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? AIDS

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

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What kind of shots does John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

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qu'est ce qui est petit et poilu? un asticot poilu

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Roses are blue Violets are red I got this backwards Carpets are nice

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? Jimmy was a goldfish.

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Who has lots of friends, but smells like urinate feceas? Smelly McD, I lied about the friends.

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How did Goku save his home planet? He didn't.

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Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

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Whats 1 foot long and went in and out of my girlfriend? Our new baby

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A dog walked into a bar. He was a trained seeing-eye dog leading a man who had been blind since a tragic industrial accident a year before.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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In Soviet Russia it's pretty cold.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

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Why did Humpty Dumpty fall off the wall? The wall was unstable and not to be sat on.

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How did the baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops