How many people does it take to screw a light bulb? One, it's all the sex they can get.

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Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely I should proably go to the hospital

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Did u know that 10/10 people die?

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Why didn't the cat eat its dinner? Because I nailed its head to the floor.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

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knock knock who's there? banana well that's an odd name. banana then began to break down in tears because his parents were constant drug abusers and gave him that name while they were high

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Hitler, Mussilini, And Hideki Tojo Walk In To A Bar Mitzvah, Everyone Was Brutally Murdered & No One Survived.

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When will pigs fly? When they grow horns

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Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely and should probably go to the hospital.

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What's the difference between the Hulk and the Thing? One's green.

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Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Why did the bartender leave the bar? He worked really long hours and finally needed some time to sleep.

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What's brown and smells like shit? An oddly shaped birthmark on a dirty homeless man

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not?

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What does an otter and a pencil sharpener have in common? They both feature in this joke

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? The light was red, which prompted the chicken to cross safely.

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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what's the difference between me and callum ? a couple of miles.... and id like to keep it that way

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Why wouldn't Helen Keller be able to drive if she was alive today? She would be inside her coffin not knowing how to get out

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How do you break your fan in the summer You dont its hot and you need it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops