boy and girl are flipping a coin, coin lands on heads, boy: get down bitch

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A man is taking a shower in jail where he drops the soap. He proceeds to pick the soap up and cleans the rest of his body, puts his orange jumpsuit on and returns to his cell.

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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Q:Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? A:One less drunk

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what did the judge say to the lawyer during a trial. He said We are all in a court. thus concluding that the judge was retarted.

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How hard is it to cross a man with a tree? Jesus only needed a few nails

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A blind man watches TV

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What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

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Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

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What do you call cheese that isnt yours? Stolen cheese.

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A drum and a cymbal fall off a cliff...

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What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

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Why is the Asian 2nd grader sad? Her best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has 3 weeks to live.

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whats brown and half eaten? yeah an easter egg that a parent has given to there son/daughter before dinner

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Jesus. Jesus who? You're going to hell.

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what do you call a polar bear in a bathtub? No soap, radio

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A black man, a jew, a hispanic, and an asian are the only survivors of a plane crash, and end up on a deserted island, what do they do? Die.

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Its over 9000 penises and they're all raping little children!!!!!

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roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

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If you were in a room with Osama bin Laden, Hitler, and a black guy and you had two bullets, who would you shoot? Seeing as this situation is logically impossible considering that Adolf Hitler died in the year 1945 and Osama bin Laden was born in the year 1957, I would be in a room with just a black guy and two bullets. Then I would proceed not to shoot the black guy on the fact that I enjoy the talking and learning about cultural diversities between the black and white races.

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why did the kitten not eat its food? because its face was stapled to the floor.

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Why didn't the young child commiserate the death of his grandparents after they were simultaneously crippled by a tremendous avalanche whilst skiing? He didn't exist.

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What did dick Cheney say to his friend that he accidentally shot in the face while quail hunting? Sorry for shooting you in the face

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(Guys I want to get the most likes so like my joke.) What did the person want. To get the most likes :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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