There were two friends, a girl and a boy. The girl had a ribbon tied to her neck, and every day the boy asked her why, yet she'd never tell him. They grew up together, and fell in love and still, she wouldn't tell him why she had the ribbon on her neck. They got married, and grew old, and still she wouldn't tell him. But one day, she said to him 'I'll show you why I keep this on my neck' and she took it off and her head fell off.

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A woman went outside for some fresh air.

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An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

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Why was the white girl crying? Because she was sad.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless he's a witch doctor, then you'll need an apple and some ayaheusca. The fractal dream will destroy time and space as consciousness returns upon itself at times end

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? 0. There are no lights at Auschwitz.

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Have you seen Helen Keller's house? Well, It's an old style ranch home in a respectable neighborhood.

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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What did the sleepy man say to his wife? I'm sleepy.

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This joke is the worst joke ever.

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What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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What do you call a deer in the wild? a deer

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I was bangin this girl and she kept yelling the wrong name. Who's raape?

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Justin Becnel falls off a tree, what happens? He breaks his neck and unfortunately dies.

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I LOVE MASTURBAITING ALL DAY!!!!

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Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

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What is the difference between Sarah Jessica Parker and a horse? Sarah Jessica Parker is a human being who is also a very skilled actress A horse is a animal which is usualy kept in a barn

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Juan got hit by a truck Knock Knock Who's there? Juan's brother coming to stab you in the abdomen.

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Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

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Knock knock ... Guess they aren't home.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Powdered sugar.

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Why did the guy jump out of the plane? he was parachuting

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roses are red violets are twisted turn around bitch your about to get fisted

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a man walks into a bar... his drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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